Friday, November 05, 2004

I Must Chime In...
The new conventional wisdom is that GW Bush won the election because he stood for "moral values" which jibe with the thinking of most Americans. This of course, also explains Barak Obama over Alan Keyes, but I digress. Before the remaining six democrats become Born Again in an effort to save their sorry hides, I really must protest.

Yes, Bush is a man of his word, steeped in faith, and honest to a fault. Yes, these character traits are very attractive in a man who leads the most powerful country on the planet (as an aside, remember GHW Bush's remarks about character vis-a-vis Bill Clinton, and you'll see why it's important). However, from what I remember hearing in all the nonsense leading up to the election, one thing stands out clear:

"Black Americans care very deeply about the issue of gay marriage. Bush might make some hay out of this." Or words to that effect. One example of how a social/morality issue may have affected the election. I believe I heard this from 220 republican talking heads and Dick Morris.

On election day, Blacks still voted for Kerry 89% to 11%. Apparently, Bush's moral standing had nothing to do with their choice. Hispanics still went 55%-45% for Kerry, which is a net gain for Bush over 2000, but that probably had more to do with immigration issues than it did morals.
However, because gay marriage amendments in 11 states won by Bush coincidentally all failed, one makes the hasty conclusion that morality was a factor in his victory, and therefore, there is this huge evangelical movement out there waiting for payback.

I beg to differ.

The reason Kerry lost was because he was a rotten candidate. He never explained anything. He never presented any facts. He picked a toad as his running mate. His wife had conveniently misplaced her swastika, but continued to talk like a Nazi anyway. He offered only gainsaying and no new options. He offered everyone free everything and simply forgot the part about how to pay for it ( he remembered --- "I will raise your taxes" is what killed Mondale). His demeanor was such that one got the idea that he was a dour, but kindly headmaster, having a go with the kids becausae he was obligated to. Add to the mix his treason, his lack of accomplishment in 20 years in the Senate, his inability to seem human (except in his concession speech), and one can only reach the following conclusion: Genghis Khan with a bad rash would have still beaten Kerry.

Kerry was Gore without the theatrics or hysteria. A cigar-store wooden indian with arrogance.

So yes, there were an awful lot of people who thought morals counted, and certainly a goodly number of them were christians, but, the crux of the matter is that Kerry gave ordinary people the creeps and in the end, could only pander to them. He pandered to the blacks, to the feminists, to the Deaniacs, to the commies in the party, to the French and to Osama bin Laden. He hit every constituency group and forgot the rest of us, except to call us names or lie about us. A rotten candidate with no plan but a good line of bullshit is not going to win very often. Bill Clinton (twice) was an anomoly --- Ross Perot made him and he should never forget it.

Still, Kerry pulled in 54 million votes and that should tell us all something. It tells me there are still vast masses of people in this country that are ripe for the picking. If they bought Kerry, there's no telling what else they might buy. So I'm gonna start me an internet real-estate scheme to sell beachfront property in the Slovak Republic. I'll probably get Heinz-Kerry rich, too.

But one can see the lines being conveniently drawn already: rabid left-wingers vs. Christians. I would remind Terry McAuliffe (if he still has a job as of this writing) that Rome too set itself up against a religion and it lost as well. That was not because of Rome's inherent weakness but rather because it misjudged the simple appeal of the faith and it's creed. But, if you're content to reflexively and uncritically find a scapegoat, rather than do the hard thing and look at yourself and your own beliefs, that's fine with me. You'll continue to go down to defeat and I'll continue to laugh.

The issue wasn't morailty. The issue was you stuck the wrong man up there.

The Issue?
I really must cross swords with Andrew Sullivan ( over his insistence that Americans are a bunch of intolerant Bible-thumpers who kick puppies and throw lawn darts at kittens, solely because they do not agree with him on the issue of Gay Marriage.

Mr. Sullivan is a homosexual, and a Conservative, and on this issue especially, he finds it difficult to reconcile these two facts. At any other time, Mr. Sullivan would most definitely agree, as a Conservative, that religion does in fact have an important role to play in society, and that society has the right to define morality. In this instance, though, Mr. Sullivan (understandably) has let his personal feelings trump his ideology. Not a problem there, it happens to everyone now and again.

Andy has his panties in a bunch over the issue of Gay Marriage. He's not alone, as a lot of gays and straights do as well. Where Mr. Sullivan falls flat on his face, however, is when he insists that anyone who doesn't believe that gay marriage is a civil rights issue and the right thing to support, that the rest of us must be bigots and deserving of contempt.

He's incorrect and for a slew of reasons.

First, he assumes that most people are opposed to homosexual unions on the basis of religious belief. True, many of us are, but they do not represent the full spectrum of views on the topic. There are those amongst us that wouldn't care if Andrew married a cocker spaniel, although we might look at him funny if he did. Because the issue to legalize gay unions was put on 11 state ballots (and lost in all 11 states), he assumes that this defeat was the result of a sinister backlash by religious puritans every bit as evil as the Taliban. He easily dismisses a whole lot of other arguments against expanding tyhe definition of marriage.

For a start, many of us who aren't gay, aren't religious, and who aren't the least bit prejudiced towards or offended by homosexuals still find the concept of homosexuality nutty, and often, disgusting. The thought of penetrating another man's anus makes me sick, for example. But, I live in a world that says "whatever floats your boat" and then goes on with my own life. I don;t judge the individual by his proclivities, I judge the individual on the basis of his personality and character. If this makes me bigoted in Andrew's eyes, I can't see how I can change his mind.

Secondly, there are many of us who do see the logical reasoning in the argument for gay unions in strictly ideological and legal terms, but that doesn't mean we believe that it should be acceptable when the majority is dead set against it. We can make the circular argument that at one time the majority in this country was for slavery or Jim Crow or no sufferage for women, and true, those were wrongheaded ideas to be sure. But this is not the same as denying someone the right to exist because of the color of his skin. This is nowhere near the idea that "seperate-but-equal-as-long-as-equal-for-the-other-means-inferior". Applying this type of argumentation merely shows how desperate the proponents of gay marriage are to make the case -- they are appealing to emotion and guilt instead of reason.

Finally, the major reason for my own personal opposition to gay marriage, and probably a great many other's too, is that we're sick of hearing about the whole thing. I don't particularly care who choses to sleep with who, but I do get tired of being lectured about how I SHOULD care. It gets tiresome, it gets old and stale and boring and at the end of the day, you've numbed me with your whining and lost me. What this is really all about is not equal rights. It's not about evening a score. It's about people who engage in activity that society considers abhorrant to have that behavior normalized for the sake of their own personal selfishness. In other words, it's a fucking temper tantrum.

You know, Andrew, gays in this country have it pretty good. They are not being dragged out and beheaded and stoned to death like they are in Iran. They are not denied the right to earn a living, screw who they want to, appear on television, write books or run websites. Lynch mobs are not roaming the streets with the tacit approval of government or community, rounding up the fags and finding themselves the tallest tree in the county. In fact, I'll bet 90% of the people in this country don't really give a damn who's gay, who's not, or even care what gay means, they have lives to live and they just want to be left to it.

Yes Andrew, you lost. Yes, I can understand how upsetting it is for you. But did it ever occur to you that perhaps there are reasons why people don't want this kind of stuff to happen? Or was it easier, in your grief, to strike out at a bunch of "religious nuts" like the dumbocrats are doing at the moment?

Gay marriage was an issue in this election, Mr. Sullivan, and the people decided what they wanted. You are not bound to agree with the results, but you are bound to abide by them. Civil society demands this.
Election Wrap up...
Now that the dreadful spectre of a Kerry Presidency is truly dead and buried, and with trepidation as I contemplate the beatification of Hilary (starting today, already!), I feel that I must, absolutely MUST, present a complete Election wrap up. However, I'm dreadfully tired after having done the Snoopy Dance for two days now, and I'm not quite sure I'm up to weighing and sifting the flotsam and jetsom of the past 18 months. I'm litterally exhausted by the thought of politics for the moment. I will, however, provide a bunch of links to a bunch of other people who are certainly smarter than I, and definitely more eloquent.

The Esteemed Mark Steyn:
The God of Wordsmiths, Mr. James Lileks:
The Indomitable Mr. John Derbyshire:
The Master Cerebellum, George Will:
The Regal Mr. Thomas Sowell:

That should explain Election 2004 far better than I could ever hope to.

A Fringe Lunatic No More...
When I first started writing this nonsense I used to post essays on various websites under the monicker of "The Fringe Lunatic". For the most part, it was a cry in the wilderness. A kind of futile wail against what I thought to be the de-volution of the society around me. I was angry,. I felt alienated. I felt very much oppressed, because I could not for the life of me figure out why the rest of the world just didn't seem to see things the same way I did.

It was slightly irrational, I agree. But this past election day, I got a glimmer of hope. THERE ARE people who see the world the same way I do, and though I might never meet a whole lot of them, I suddently felt a whole lot less lonely. There are other decent human beings in the United States and they came out and did the right thing on Nov. 2, 2004: they spoke up and were heard.

So, as sort of a purging of the soul, I present to you one of my first essays, entitled: "What is A Fringe Lunatic?". Enjoy:

Teddy Roosevelt once railed against the "lunatic fringe" which existed upon the periphery of American life and politics. He was referring to the anarchist assassins who were responsible for killing his predecessor, President McKinley, and those that supported them. The appearance of this "lunatic fringe", if I read Teddy’s commentary correctly, was interpreted as a danger to the Constitutional Republic and hence, a very real threat to the American way of life. This "fringe" was considered to have consisted of foreigners, with little in the way of political sophistication, and that violence was their only method of discourse. Maybe Teddy was right, maybe not, and I’m not enough of a historian or a political scientist to definitively say which. Suffice to say, Teddy was giving rein to his feelings, which not coincidentally were shared by many in the great American Republic at large. There are many among us today that still feel the same way, and their point of view is not altogether dismissed in the light of the events of September 11th, 2001. Think Pat Buchannan.

I have adopted the epithet of "fringe lunatic", even though I am no foreigner, nor an anarchist, but like many words or phrases (like "everybody does it", "let’s just move on", etc) that evolve to suit the needs of the moment, I will claim this one on the basis of necessity. I lay claim to the title of "fringe lunatic" on the basis that as time goes by, and American society evolves (devolves, in my opinion), people such as myself are being increasingly marginalized and pushed to the fringes of American life by forces beyond the control of most private citizens.
How are people like me being marginalized? Let me count the ways!

To begin with, I’m 35 years old. This makes me too young to be a ‘baby boomer’, the next generation of crybabies and hungry, useless mouths on the horizon, and it also makes me too old to be part of "Generation X", the next wave of spoiled, overindulged idiots who will someday run the country while I’m in my old age. I shudder with fear when I imagine the claims that will be made upon me by my parent’s generation of spoiled brats, and the potential authority of the new generation of spoiled idiots. This puts me in the unenviable position of not being able to sympathize, empathize or communicate well with either my immediate elders or my immediate juniors, both of whom which will live comfortably on the sweat of my brow (between Social Security, Medicaid, school taxes and college loans), and leave me no say about it. I can’t connect with the feeling of entitlement my parent’s people will claim, nor can I see my way clear to address the "issues that affect today’s youth".

I come from a blue-collar background (parents: police officer and secretary, grandparents an auto mechanic and a seamstress) and grew up in the same house with members of my extended family present. Here I learned the life lessons of my grandparent’s day; hard work, responsibility, sacrifice on behalf of the family, and the mantra of my parent’s day; do whatever makes you happy and what "feels" right. If asked, I would say that curriculum of life lessons is somewhat confusing when it comes to moral issues. However, I’ve made my choice as to which lifestyle "feels" right to me, and that is my grandparent’s way of life. I do not need excess, I do not want to be misled by moral relativism, and I do not want to be defined as an aimless, shiftless bastard, qualities which both the Baby Boomers and the Gen X’ers display in massive quantities. This makes me old-fashioned, square, out-of-it, whichever euphemism catches your fancy.

I am a white male, which in the opinion of other demographics makes me; wealthy, sexist, racist, homophobic, power-hungry, repressive and personally responsible for every evil and atrocity ever committed by a white guy at any time since the beginning of recorded history, and maybe even before. This simple fact makes me socially, morally, financially and spiritually responsible for; the oppression of others, racial discrimination, the despoiliation of entire continents, the enslavement of entire races, the Hustle, Jimmy Carter and the pet rock. I’m also the guy that foisted Englebert Humperdink on the world. I can honestly say, with a clear conscience, that I have never oppressed, plundered, raped, victimized, marginalized, exploited, rejected, imprisoned, enslaved, harassed or conquered anyone. As for Englebert I gave him up for Lent ten years ago. Seriously, to today’s "liberal" mindset and political agenda, I am held personally responsible, across time, space and generations, for a whole litany of "historic wrongs" for which I must be maligned, punished, over-taxed, ostracized, and held to account for. After all, I have all the power and money, which I selfishly stole while others built and earned it, others whom I tricked or bullied into creating this society and wealth, and I’m keeping it from everyone else, don’t you know. Queue sinister music.

I am a computer programmer and have reached this modest pinnacle of success due to intelligence and hard effort, without the dubious benefit of a formal college education or degree from an institution of "higher learning". Because I don’t have a piece of paper that established the fact that I was able to parrot whatever some over-educated moron (read: Professor, that is one deputized and endowed with the forms of education but none of the substance), this gives my employer the right to underpay me and keep me from the higher echelons of management in corporate America. This piece of paper is referred to as a "qualification", but what it qualifies one for is beyond my imagination. I have met and worked with plenty of people who have such a device, and I would swear under oath that most of them couldn’t find their own posteriors with both hands and a road map. I wonder just what, if anything, they were ever "qualified" for. Apparently, one cannot learn anything of value by one’s self – knowledge and skill can only be considered "learned" or "useful" if accompanied by a piece of parchment hardly worth, in more than the financial sense, the paper and ink used to print it.

I also have no concern whatsoever for "the environment", "animal rights", failed Third World economies and the political rights of those who live with their consequences, AIDS victims or any other cause that does not directly affect my life or invade my personal space. Yes, I want clean air, water and tress. I like breathing, drinking and admiring a mighty redwood, only an idiot doesn’t, but not at the cost of my home. And besides, cut a tree down and you can always plant another. Sure, I want inexpensive commodities and energy that won’t pollute or hurt any living creature, but not at the cost of my job. Certainly I should eat healthier, and indulge in more grains and vegetables, but damn it, steak, fish, chicken, lamb and pork taste good. I can’t help some poor peasant in Africa overthrow his oppressive regime when he won’t even make the effort to do so, which assumes he’s even aware he’s oppressed. I can’t remove land mines in Cambodia since I don’t know where they are or even how to find them. I can see the logic of some of the concerns people express on these topics, but I don’t believe rioting at meetings of capitalists will solve any of them. I don’t think the all-or-nothing creed of some of the most committed anti-globalists solves, or even attempts to mitigate, the effects of oppression, poverty, disease, food supplies or nature. I require some sort of logical and rational approach to these problems. This makes me a "hater" and an "exploiter". I think those who resort to name calling and throwing bricks at police officers need to look at their own actions and motives before they call mine into question.

I also attended Catholic schools for the whole length of my "educational process", and this had several adverse affects upon me; I was taught to read and write properly, how to properly use mathematic formulae. I learned how to apply logic, and my schooling reinforced some of the nasty standards of the past such as conventional morality, ethics, a belief in social and religious justice, and how to evaluate what is right and what is wrong, in the empirical, ecumenical and sociological senses. These things make me bigoted and judgmental. Well, one can only be rightly bigoted and truly judgmental when one has some standard of evaluation based upon rational methods of measurement. I have these things, so I guess that makes me bigoted and judgmental, but bigoted and judgmental of those who don’t. Some call this a sense of superiority or arrogance; I call it choosing my associates and activities wisely (most of the time). Doesn’t matter though because those who do not have these qualities in their own character will demonize me for having them anyway.

To sum it all up, I’m the type of guy that everybody loves to hate, but without whom the world would come to a screeching halt. People like me are vital to the survival of any society in which we reside, yet my fellow travelers (we’ll call them the "Great Unwashed, Greedy, Ignorant Rabble") can’t get themselves to acknowledge it. To them, we’re something like an ATM machine; a handy device for dispensing cash. Sometimes were looked upon as something resembling a crash test dummy, which they use to test the limits of our tolerance while they push the envelope on issues such as employment, politics, moral relativism and sloth. We haven’t failed and fallen apart yet, because our patience is infinite, our steel-hard construction intact, but that day might come sometime. But not yet, for even as our rights are trampled in the name of "justice" and "equality" by others who scream loudly for the "respect" they are due, and which they haven’t earned, they expect people like us to sit still, pay for it, and indulge their every destructive whim. We are made of sterner stuff.

My breed of people make concrete contributions to our society and country everyday with simple acts of quiet bravery and responsibility such as, oh, going to work and paying our taxes to support the lazy, useless, lame, halt and crippled. We lead our lives in the traditional American sense, with a respect for the law and the rights of others. You don’t see us destroying property, neighborhoods and businesses and then crying about how we can’t find a job. You don’t see us making excuses for failure and demanding symbolic remedies that haven’t even the scent of a pretense of correcting the underlying reasons for it, while we scratch our heads in disbelief or shake our fists in rage, when further failure was the inevitable, and foreseeable, result.
We are increasingly the victims of others; race hustlers, feminists, revisionist historians, "academics", politicians, "liberals", who seek to advance their version of what is right, what is just, and what is workable, against our will and in the face of a system, built by people like us, that has been proven to work. I am reminded of the adage that if you tried to teach a chimp to write, he will eventually get frustrated and stick the pen in your eye – I feel like the chimp’s instructor. Since I believe that most of the people around me in my little world are just like, or rapidly becoming, that illiterate chimp, this is what makes me a fringe lunatic, the one island of sanity in a sea of stupidity, vulgarity and savagery.

I’m damned proud to be a fringe lunatic, and if you’re one too, so should you. We fight a (sometimes) frustrating battle against those that demand rights and respect without being able to define either. We climb uphill against the increasing burden of other people’s flawed, Utopian agendas and find the strength to continue in faith and our intrinsic feeling that we are on the right path to a personal paradise within our own tiny, personal fiefdoms. We deal with the here and now of kids, bills, work, love and reality while they delude themselves with visions of what never was and what can never be. It’s been my experience that as I have grown older, and my idealism has been somewhat dulled, that I have come to gradually form the kind of opinions that make me a fringe lunatic. It has also taught me that given time, even our chimp will stop sucking the ink out of the pen when he finds it an unpleasant experience and move on to something more useful to his here and now, like peeling and eating bananas.

People are the same way. They eventually learn to stop their harmful and idiotic patterns of behavior and to start doing the right thing, or most of them do, anyway. It’s a quality that God programmed into a human being, and which only waits for some event to turn it on – it’s called self-interest. The poor become the rich, the failed become the successful and the lazy become the productive all because they’ve eventually reached a stage where it’s in their self-interest to do so. In the end, that makes us all Fringe Lunatics, but it’s frustrating as all Hell waiting for the chimps to evolve into Men. Until then, let’s stand tall, be proud and secretly snicker to ourselves that we know a secret that they don’t.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

The Party's Over...
(Note: This commentary also appears on

So John Kerry has finally realized what those of us with half a brain cell knew two years ago: he couldn't win the Presidency of the United States if someone died and left it to him in the will. It was evident, to me anyway, that Kerry was dead in the water after the media called California for him. That was his motherlode of electoral votes and the few states still out were pretty much all Bush country. Kerry went through the motions of mentioning provisional ballots in Ohio, but it was a foregone conclusion by midnight. All that was left was the swan song.

And what a swan song.

John Kerry woke up yesterday and surveyed the blasted wasteland of what used to be a great political party. The democrats did not just lose the election for President, they lost the country.
Five Senate seats changed hands. Three House seats picked up by the Republicans. A potential Supreme Court nomination in the wings. This was the last chance to ensure American socialism persisted into the 21st century. Kerry failed to deliver and his party is doomed.

It's unfortunate that Kerry gave the best speech of his political career yesterday --- in defeat. In his concession speech, Kerry finally managed to connect with folks, I think. I know I got a tiny bit misty not because I felt for the guy but because I finally understood that the man did have passion and was worthy of at least a modicum of respect. It's unfortunate that his passion was misdirected, but I have to give him credit for geing gracious in defeat. He was visibly stung and it was hard not to sympathize. Perhaps if Kerry had had this kind of sympathetic air and the ability to garner repect from people like me over the last two years, he might have won. Instead, he played politico and lost. Now perhaps he can find a use by going out and finding Osama. Kerry is finished as viable force in democratic politics (just ask Joe Liebermann), and wasn't it interesting that he had to lean on Ted Kennedy for support? The lines are already being drawn between democrats; between the Hilary wing and the Kennedy wing.

John Edwards, of course, continued to yap like a constipated poodle. He believes, apparently, that he will be releveant again in four years. That was his job during the campaign and somehow it's still his job in defeat. Probably best that way since he no longer has a job at all -- he gave up his Senate seat to run and it was won by a Republican last night. I don't fear for John Edwards' future because we all know fecal matter always manages to float. Perhaps if Edwards had a little more experience, a little less slickness and a ton less lawyer about him, he might have made something out of himself. Instead, his ego decided he was qualified for the highest office in the land after a couple of years in the Senate, most of that time spent trying to be president. Maybe he can find a job publicly identifying lesbians on television now. It seems to be what he's really good at.

The democrats, however, did not lose so badly because of Kerry or Edwards. They lost because they are tone deaf. They lost because they routinely ignore the peasants in what they call "flyover country". These are the people who do the work, pay the taxes, obey the laws, and at the end of the day, don't want to live in a country where a man can marry a cocker spaniel and have it legally protected like a religious sacrament. These are the same people who don't get to hobnob with the rich and famous, nor do they give a damn about the plight of the trendy cause du jour. They're too busy trying to make a living and raise their families.

They don't care about propping up a Social Security system that won't be around to pay them in their later years. They want security that doesn't make them dependant on the federal government and bankrupts them while it's at it. These are the folks that work for their money and hate to see it stolen by excessive taxes to pay for breast enlargement for illegal aliens.

The democratic party ceased being a political party that represented the values of the American people over 30 years ago. It's taken this long for the majority of people to figure that out because democrats are masters of marketing. But they have found out, and last night, they gave George W. Bush a mandate to continue the job he's had for the last four years. They'll continue to point out that Kerry got 54 million votes last night, and that merely proves there are still a lot of stupid people in the country. The people gave GW the tools to make it easier with an enlarged majority in the Senate and House. Now GW must, and will, get the job done.

Kerry and his minions immediately began the campaign of crapspeak all over again, so it's obvious they do not learn their lessons well. Immediately we were barraged by pleas to "find common ground" or advice that Bush must now "govern from the center". Translation: please have mercy, George, we're on the ropes. I give them three weeks before the shrillness, the nastiness and the name-calling starts all over again. If I were Bush, I'd give them three obvious chances to prove they really wish to "heal the divide" in the country. When they predictibly blow all three with acrimony, I'd stomp on them --- hard.

So, the party is now truly over. The democrats have no values except selfishness. They have no message except reflexive contrariness. When they did have the means to transform American society, they utterly failed because success would have risked revolt. So, they have spent 30 years talking and not one second doing. In the end, they are out of touch with the country they pretend to serve and not very good at doing anything except the interns. That is why they lost the election so badly, and this is why the democratic party is done. Finished. Already the George Soros' of the world, the Ralph Naders, the bomb-throwing Tree Huggers, the militant lesbians, the perpetually panty-bunched, the race hustlers, the French-speaking wanna-be autocrats are all sitting down and re-evaluating their attachment to the democratic party. Do not be surprised if there is a major revolt and posibly a new party formed from one or more of these constituencies that's even more out of touch.

They never put forth a serious candidate; Kerry was not the most electable, Lieberman was. He spent more time fending off Howard Dean, and then pretending to BE Dean then he did making the case for Kerry. They never put forth a serious agenda, except to whine and throw insults, and not once did they mention the details. They talked about snake oil and magic wands, prosperity for all (with high taxes), magical transformation of the world through better karma, the crippled would walk and the blind would see. They talked about Vietnam for 18 months.

They're even talking about a more ridiculous candidate (Hilary) for 2008. They do not listen to what the people tell them because they believe they don't have to. They are elitist snobs leading the great, unwashed masses and the perpetually greedy, and they KNOW what's best for the rest of us. Americans spoke on Tuesday night --- be more like George. I doubt they'll listen, and I for one sleep more soundly knowing that the message went unheard.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The Day After...
George W. Bush will be sworn in again as President on January 20th, 2005. John Kerry can continue to cry, but it will make no difference. Already the spinning has begun.

I have heard at least 11 times this morning that Bush has "no mandate" (although he won the popular vote this time), and that he should "heal the country" by "governing fromt he center". The democratic party has just imploded and is now reduced to begging for bi-partisanship, and it's delicious!

Now, here's some issues to ponder:

1. Exit polling - for the third straight election, the exit polling, which is something that really only benefits the media (it gives them something to talk about) was grossly wrong. It seems the democrat vote was vastly inflated in these things and that may have lowered turnout for Kerry, as everyone was reporting he had this thing won a dozen ways to Sunday. Now democrats know how it feels: the exit polling on Florida in 2000 probably cut Bush's margin of victory then. Once again, I'm of the mind that it's probably not necessary to know who is President on Election Day, and that waiting a day before reporting results might be a better idea. However, everyone has air time to fill and this is one way of doing it --- talking about incorrect polls.

2. Bush has won the popular vote, garnering an even bigger marin of victory here than Ronald Reagan. Considering that Bush was elected in 2000 on slim margins in Florida, and there were razor-thin races in Iowa, Wisconsin and New Mexico, this is a major turnaround. Republicans have also gained seats in the house and senate, and if that isn;t a republican mandate, I don't know what is. Then again, the democrats claimed Bill Clinton had a mandate with 43% of the popular vote once. I guess it's a matter of perspective and brain washing.

3. Will Terry McAuliffe finally be taken out and shot? He's lost the presidency for the dems twice, and has fallen even further behind in the Senate and House. Perhaps he's not the right guy to run the democratic party (as if he ever was!), and the Clinton patina has finally worn off.
Clinton came out for Kerry and here in N. Carolina, Erskine Bowels...errr...Bowles. I personally received 4 taped messages from Billy to vote for his boy. Erskine has gone the way of the do-do bird, too.

4. Hilary Clinton is now the de-facto hope of the democratic party in 2008. What she inherits is an open question. The only thing democrats can hope for now is that major disaster befall the country in order to sneak back in during midterms in 2006 and perhaps to even make a run at 2008. Keep wishing, commies!

5. It's already being spun that George Bush did not win as much as he stayed in power by "visciously attacking" John Kerry. I beg your pardon, but Kerry was ripe for attacking. Twenty years in the Senate and the guy accomplished nothing. A would-be war hero that never met a war he didn't want to go to while the country is AT war now. Kerry also hurt himself with the ability to have more postions available than a Las Vegas hooker. Kerry was not attacked -- Kerry was already dead on arrival and the buzzards were already lined up before he got out of the gate.

6. Katherine Harris (remember her?) has been re-elected to the House of Representatives! Talk about someone who was savaged and "visciously attacked"? Good for hert. It's just more proof that thgere is a divine grace that makes sure the righteous overcome.

7. What happened to the vaunted youth (punk) vote? Vote or Die? Apparently they stayed home. What did you EXPECT them to do? Young peope these days are lazy, disinterested and more likely to shout about things than they are to UNDERSTAND them. Kerry pinned his hopes on them and they kicked him in the teeth. If you ask me, if given the choice between Bush and a very uncool dude, they decided they didn't like either and stayed home, or more likely forgot it was election day. Perhaps if Kerry could rap...
Obligatory Election Blogging, Part 3...
7:30 P.M., Election Day:

- The first returns are coming in now. Right now, the electoral count is Bush 39, Kerry 3. Bush has picked up Georgia, Kentucky, W. Viginia and Indiana. Kerry has snagged the highly-sought after Vermont.

8:00 P.M.:
- Electoral vote: Bush 66, Kerry 77. Bush picks up Tennesee and Alabama. Kerry gets the democratic strongholds of New Jersey, Illinois, The People's Republic of Massachusetts, Maryland, Delaware, Connecticut and the cesspool of Washington, D.C.

8:15 P.M.:
- Electoral vote: Bush 74, Kerry 77. Bush gets the inbred vote and handily wins South Carolina.

8:30 P.M.:
- Electoral vote: Bush 102, Kerry 77. Bush picks up my new home state of North Carolina and Virginia.

9:00 P.M.:
- Electoral vote: Bush 156, Kerry 112. Bush gets Kansas, Texas, South Dakota, Nebraska, Wyoming and North Dakota. Kerry gets Rhode Island and New York (big surprise...).

9:30 P.M.:
- Electoral Vote: Bush 165, Kerry 112. Bush gets Louisiana. Communism is alive and well in Vermont, as Bernie Sanders and Patrick Leahy have both been re-elected to the US Senate. The
future for judicial appointments is sure to continue to be entertaining yet maddening.

10:00 P.M.:
- Bush 193, Kerry 112. Bush gets himself Mississippi, no surprise.

10:15 P.M.:
- Bush 193, Kerry 112. it's starting to look like it's over. Bush picks up Oklahoma, Missouri and Arkansas. At this point, I figure Bush has Ohio and Florida and Kerry has California. California is Kerry's motherload, but I can't see him pulling it out without grabbing the rest of the remaining states. Not mathematically impossible for Kerry to win, but it does indeed seem bleak.

- This election is making for VERY boring Television. Riht now on Fox, Brit Hume is being forced to actually acknowledge Juan WIlliams and even ask him for opinions (go figure!). Susan Estrich has made an appearance, 3 days after Halloween. She should be locked up for the safety of the rest of us. The big subject is the exit polling, which is erroneously wrong at this point. Britt Hume makes a point that this is the third straight election where this has happened.

- Barak Obama has wiped the floor with Alan Keyes (big surprise). His wife (hot mama!) is now introducing him before he makes his acceptance speech. Barack has thanked everyone EXCEPT God (ingrate!). I have to say, this is my first real look at him (I skipped the Convention). Good-looking man, well-spoken, seems to have it all going on upstairs. Might be a real good senator, despite his political leanings, I think.

11:00 P.M.:
- Bush 197, Kerry 144. Kerry picks up that pool of corruption, Pennsylvania and the Lunatic Asylum that is Washington State.

- The starin is showing: Britt Hume just spit while speaking. It was clearly visible on the screen. Someone get Britt a glass of water.

- The ACLU has just announced that it will sue the State of Florida for not getting absentee ballots into the mail on time so that some folks could vote. I'm skeptical -- Jeb Bush is a target for the ACLU and has been forever.

11:20 P.M.:
- Bush 207, Kerry 144. Bush gets Arizona, Florida (without chads!) and Idaho.

11:45 P.M.:
- Susan Estrich just showed up again. She's grinning and it looks like a mask that's about to crack. She's also clearly agitated because the vote totals don;t seem to jibe with her "inside information" (i.e. That Kerry should have won the day before the election). She's pissed and getting nasty (par for the course). She's also completely full of shit. This woman is scary, and if I might make a request, do we have to be subjected to her on television?

- Talk is about that the Republicans just picked up two Senate seats, increasing their control over the snakepit.

12:15 A.M.:
- Bush 266, Kerry 206. California just came in. In my opinion, those 55 votes just about topped Kerry out. Bush now only has to hold his 2000 states and perhaps win one Gore state and it's his. Kerry also picks up Oregon. Bush has now got Florida (confirmed!), Montana, Wyoming and Colorado.

1:00 A.M.:
- Bush 269, Kerry 211. Bush gets Alaska(?). Bush is now President of the United States (again). If it does tie-up at 269-269, it goes tot he House, and Republicans own the joint. Goodnight John Kerry.

1:30 A.M.:
- There is a hint of lawsuit in the air, and Ohio is the focus. According to Kerry's shills, there are 250,000 votes that they KNOW have not been counted yet. How they know this is beyond me. At the moment, Bush is up by 125,000 or so votes. The crying has started already.

- Ted Kennedy has put his drfink down long enough to show up at Kerry's home. Apparently, they are formulating strategy about how to whine.

2:30 A.M.:
- Bush 269, Kerry 238. Kerry picks up Michigan and Minnesota. Britt Hume looks tired. Even Mort Kondracke looks dejected.

- John Edwards just got on TV to pump his fists and mouth platitudes about "getting all the votes counted", a reference to Ohio. Johnny looks like a puppy that has just been caught soiling the carpet.

2:45 A.M.:
- Bush 269, Kerry 242. Kerry gets Hawaii which would matter if it was attached to the continent.

- It's pretty much over at this point, bar the whining. Democrats are vowing to get those mysterious 250,000 votes (which has now fallen to 130,000 somehow) counted, but Bush nopw has a 150,000 vote lead or so. Every one of those 130,000 would now have to be a) valid and b) for Kerry in order to even make it close. Kerry is mathematically eliminated.

- Still waiting on Iowa, New Mexico and Nevada. Bush is ahead in both New Mexico and Iowa.

- Tom Daschle has been voted out of office! The Republicans pick up yet another Senate Seat (count: 55 R, 44 D, 1 Traitor). And 2 more Hosue seats! I can now sleep, smug in the knowledge that the country is firmly in the grasp of Republican government!

Obligatory Election Blogging, Part 2...
2:00 P.M. Election Day:

- In Florida, absentee ballots are being escorted, in locked boxes, by Sherrif's deputies, to avoid monkey business. A little extreme, but as we've seen before, probably quite necessary. Also, there are rumors of anonymous phone calls being made directing people to incorrect polling places. More on this if I can get anything.

- Ohio: A judge has ruled that pollwatchers are allowed back in the polling places, allowing challenges to apparently unqualified voters. A judge with sense? The Va,pires....errr...lawyers are already lining up.

- Exit polling is showing Kerry sweeping the map. What's up with that?

- More chicanery in Philadelphia: a Greenie-meanie has apparently wiped all the votes off of one machine in Philly, breaking a seal on a machine and hitting the reset button. Perhaps there is an organized efforts by Naderites (still sore about not getting on ballots in all 50) that has manifested itself in slashed tires, anthrax scares and stuff like this. I have no proof, but it's an interesting theory, I think.

- In Arizona: a bomb threat has been phoned into a school being used as a polling place. The building has been evacuated as a precaution.

Taking a nap, because it seems like we're in for a looooong night....

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Obligatory Election Blogging, Part I...
I kinda have to do this because everyone else is. I know, I know -- if everyone else were jumping off bridges, etc, etc. Then again, I have so much mental energy invested in this thing I would be remiss if I didn;t give ya a blow-by-blow of what's happening today as the Nation goes to the voting booth.

As of 1:00 PM, EST:

- Two polling places in a heavily-Republican district in New Jersey were attacked by a sicko who ran in, tossed white powder in the air, and quickly ran out. The white powder has been identified as salt in one of these attacks, and the other is still pending. Eveacuations and hazmat teams were precautions, and no one apparently, is hurt. However, this will hold up voting for several hours in both pool stations and I can almost guarentee that Republicans (if they're worth their...ahem...salt) will be in a courtroom immediately to ensure that lost time is made up, despite mandatory poll-closing times. I'll give ya one guess as to what political-affiliation the lone lunatic has, allegedly.

- In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, home of the 104% voter turnout in 2000, poll-watchers have found four voting machines with votes on them before the polls even opened. Approximately 2000 votes were recorded before Election Day even started. If I had to take a guess, the overwhelming majority of those votes (say 1999-1, have to make it look fair) were for Kerry. Philadelphia is rapidly becoming the new Chicago.

- Also in Philadelphia, there are reports of a gun being displayed and presumably used to intimidate people, although it is not clear if the targets were voters or poll workers. No new information on this is available yet.

- The early returns from Ohio tend to indicate the state is leaning towards Bush. More on this as the day goes on.

- In South Dakota, Sentaor Tom Daschle (Dashole) attempted to sue his way back into office before the polls even opened last night. His claim was based on reports of republican voter intimidation at SD's indian reservations in 2000. This intimidation amounted to taking down license plate numbers (5 of them), taking notes at polling places and rolling eyes at folks. The only witness called by Daschle was a formerDean campaign worker from Iowa, who was never in SD before yesterday. The idea is to have republican pollwatchers kicked out of reservation polling places. If I recall, there was a huge scandal in 2000 about Indian votes being bought (for cash) by Gore supporters. Perhaps Tom has the same idea? P.S. The judge in this case is a good friend of Daschle and is the guy who helped him sue his way into office in 1978 in the first place. Let's watch this one closely.

- Reports from Wisconsin indicate that someone slashed the tires of 30 vehicles intended to get republican voters to the polls. If I had to guess, these 30 vegicles would have transported the blind, the crippled and the sick to exercise their sacred right to vote. I wonder, if in all the almost-certain-post-election-turmoi, when African-Americans and loser democrats yell, scream and cry about "disenfranchisement", that they will even remoember or acknowledge what they did to the elderly and sick of Milwaukee this morning. In effect, these people will have a more difficult time getting to the polls. Wouldn't that be disenfranchisement?

- In a related story, also from Wisconsin, asssumed-republicans retaliated by blocking the driveway to a Kerry campaign office and spitting on vehicles. I'm waiting on reports to come in on the expected, nasty snowball fight and perhaps the round of short-sheeting and reciprocal panty raids later in the evening.