Friday, December 13, 2013

Douchebag of the Week (12/13/13): John Boehner...

We haven't handed out many DOW awards recently, what with the only possible winner being our President it hardly seemed worth the effort, but yesterday was a different story.

For yesterday, Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner did something so fantastically stupid that it almost vies for the top spot on the Douchiest Things Any Human Being Could EVER Do In Order To Be Considered The Biggest Douche In The Universe List.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

145 Reasons Why Liberals Suck...

My, how far we have come! It seems like only yesterday (I believe it was 2003) when this meme began here on this site with a short list of 50 Reasons Why Liberals Suck, and the last decade has proven -- once again -- that liberalism (small 'l' intentional) is the gift that just keeps on giving.

Like AIDS.

This new fusillade of anti-Libtard observations was prompted by a website (which shall remain nameless, because it's a virtual internet sewer of stupidity) that re-posted one of the earlier iterations of it without my permission nor a back-link, violating, at the very least, internet etiquette rules, which resulted in my mailbox being jammed with angry and derisive e-mails from people who are happy to tell you that while they appreciate and wish to defend Free Speech, what I've posted equates to a permission slip for any crackpot to kill a liberal on sight, and as such, should be condemned as Hate Speech for having the potential to incite violence.

You can read the last iteration of this list here. For now, the new-and-improved list has been bolstered by the addition of 20 new maxims about liberals and their wrong-headed policies. Without further ado, here are 145 reasons Why Liberals Suck.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Circular Firing Squad...

Darwin was wrong.

The idea that living organisms evolve in order to take advantage of the circumstances of their environment, and adapt to changing conditions in order to assure the survival of the species, is belied by the existence of a certain subsection of the American electorate which is apparently so stupid and so stubborn that they are doing everything in their power to ensure their own disappearance.

And in the process, make life hell for everyone else.

This strange creature, which seemingly has embraced suicide as a strategy, is a certain brand of person who goes by a most deceptive, inaccurate, and self-bestowed appellation.

They call themselves "True Conservatives".

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

The GROFT Principle...

Back in the days when I was a young computer operator, I had a supervisor who, for lack of a better term, was a southern redneck. I mean a real hillbilly plowboy, a tobacco-chewin’, country-music singin’, flannel-wearin’, swaggerin’ farmboy from the inbred regions of South Carolina (which covers about 96% of the state). Why, he was so Southern he pissed moonshine and crapped fried chicken.

But that’s beside the point. In retrospect, nearly 30 years later he turns out to have been one of the smartest people I have ever met. He typically would use a colorful turn of phrase to get a point across (“Why, that boy looks as nervous as a whore in church…”, “That generator ain’t turnin’ out enough power to pull a greasy string from a whore’s ass…”. Harry was obsessed with whores, but this was how he talked), but that was only ever a means to an end. He knew that if you wanted people to remember something, you had to give it them in a way that they would remember it -- so that it would stick.

Friday, November 01, 2013

Orwell Never Sleeps...

To Quote Orwell:

"He who controls the Past, controls the Future. He who controls the Present controls the Past."

Liberals understand history very well. They just have a different view as to how it is to be used. While Conservatives see history as something solid and immutable which is useful in teaching lessons, the Liberal sees history as a lump of clay which can be reshaped and remolded many times over, and always, for a political purpose.

The Liberal must ALWAYS seek to re-write history. As an example: Barack Obama said, thousands of documented times, that if you liked your health plan and doctor, you could keep them under Obamacare. It was necessary to tell this lie in order to assuage public fear of a government takeover of health care (a political motive).

Now, when we know the truth, revisionist history kicks in: What Obama REALLY said, say the Libs, is that you could keep your old plan and doctor unless they failed to adopt the public mandates of the ACA, which they knew all along were poison pills. Note the rewriting of history before your very eyes: there was a nuance added three years after the fact, and they insist that it was always there, in plain sight.

Now, the fact that a bald-faced lie was told and the liar was caught doesn't mean anything, in a historical sense, to your average Libtard. They have been trained (indoctrinated) in the public schools and universities, and conditioned by the mass media, to forget that which is inconvenient immediately and then to deny it ever existed (Orwell called this Doublethink), and so far as the true believers and idiots are concerned, the lie will pass into historical truth, if you repeat it enough to numb what's left of their tiny little minds.

History exists in only two places, Orwell said -- in written records and in human memories. Academics, who will one day write the history of this time, are predominantly leftard, and so they will most likely write the leftard (politically-acceptable) version of history that shows them to have been right and prescient. The modern media (which is unapologetically leftist) controls minds -- no one in this country is ever away from the reach of leftist propaganda for more than a few hours, at most, per day -- shapes opinion, memory, tastes, and thought patterns on a daily basis, and shares much the same view as the academics.

And the good little liberal wanders about in a stupor, as he has been failed by both academics and media who have neglected to do their primary job of giving him unbiased education and information to help him make his choices, has the short-term memory of a garden slug.

Now you know.

Poor People Suck, Part III...

...the Halloween Edition.

I usually hate Halloween. As a kid, I guess I found it pretty cool -- free candy! -- but as the years passed and I got older, I found the whole idea of dressing up in costumes, partying until I puked, and putting on an extra 15 pounds of Butterfinger fat something not worth the time and effort.

And then there's all the stupid little chores that go with celebrating Halloween -- carving Jack-o-Lanterns, putting up macabre decorations, and the subsequent cleanup after both -- that make this holiday a royal pain in the posterior. I feel the same way about Christmas, on a certain level; I hate putting up Christmas trees, and decorating them, and getting up on ladders to staple strings of lights to the house. I cannot stand life-sized plastic Santas (with reindeer) that light up and have this creepy, Made-in-China sound box that makes Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho! sound like your grandfather suddenly remembering he has a hernia.

Although I must say, I DO enjoy dressing up as Santa for the little kids in my family, and for my cousin's friends, which I have done for many years. Go figure.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

A Friendly Letter to Evangelical Christians...

Dear Evangelical Douchebags,

This is to inform you that I will no longer defend you in any political arguments that I have with Libtarded Obamabots. You have shown, by your otherwise inexplicable reluctance to vote for Mitt Romney in the last Presidential Election -- probably because Pastor Bob told you he was a Mormon, and thus, the next, best thing to a devil worshiper -- that you are no longer worthy of the effort.

By staying home on Election Day, you allowed the agents of the Anti-Christ (Obama and the democratic party) to win.Your inability to let your good sense override the dictates of your phony-baloney religion has allowed Evil to prosper, and in the process, you have failed in your responsibilities to your country and your fellow Man.

I hope that make-believe God that you grovel and give money to is busy striking your names off the Rapture list as we speak.

I used to defend you, even if I didn't agree with you, to Libtards, but no more. There is no defense for what you have done, and now the rest of us will have to suffer for your "principles". No wonder the Romans wanted you dead.

Please kindly take those Bibles you thump and thrust in people's faces and shove them up your collective ass. Sideways. I hope your rectums bleed from the massive number of papercuts that the book of Revelations alone should inflict.

I hate to have to say this, but Julian Bond was correct -- there is a Taliban Wing in the GOP, and they sat home on Election Day. They have done more damage to this country than the real Taliban ever could.

Fuck You and Have a Nice Day.


The Lunatic

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Poor People Suck, Part II...

The Scene: Your Intrepid Lunatic is in the local supermarket, doing his weekly grocery shopping. This mundane and ordinary activity (which he actually enjoys) is interrupted by the arrival of the Scourge of America: the single welfare mother with a brace of obnoxious children, armed with an EBT card. What follows is both disturbing and frightening. It is a microcosm of the future which would make one sick, if one could muster up enough concern to actually give a shit.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Poor People Suck, Part I...

I was reminded of this truism again yesterday after a trip on a New York City bus.

I needed to get to the Staten Island Ferry yesterday to keep an appointment in Manhattan. The fastest way, actually the ONLY way that doesn't involve calling a taxi, from my home is to take the S61 bus down Victory Boulevard to Bay Street, and thus, to the Ferry. During rush hour, this can take upwards of 40 minutes, but since it was 10:30 a.m. the trip should have been significantly faster for the lighter traffic and relative lack of commuters.

It was not to be...

Monday, September 23, 2013

The Bureaucracy Strikes Back...

Sometimes, you just have to wonder what the fuck it is that we're getting for our tax dollars.

If you live in the State of New Yorkistan, I would say you're getting jack shit. And when I say this, I should clarify:

1. We are NOT getting a government that works smoothly and efficiently.

2. We ARE getting a government which is apparently run by rhesus monkeys who, on a good day, might be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight..

The long, sordid, and all-too-sickening tale of this Lunatics battle with the mindless bureaucracy of the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles seemed to have the proverbial light at the end of that tunnel. But, alas!, the rhesus monkeys have found a way to annoy me yet again.

If you haven't heard this story before, then I suggest that you read this, this, and this, and then you'll be up to speed with this entire tale of woe.

And then you'll probably want to either laugh or vomit. Probably both.

The Lunatic is Back!

A triumphant return, to be certain.

My apologies for being away for so long, but I have been extremely busy this past summer. There's been vacations, there's been career news, bureaucratic stupidity, thrills, spills and douchechills. I'll be telling you all about it all week.

In the meantime, you should probably check out this controversy that's been brewing behind the scenes for over a year now here at the Asylum, where people even crazier than me have been trying to convince me that they suffer from a made-up disease with a fancy name. It's pathetic, but interesting.

I'll be writing all day today, and hope to get something posted this afternoon/evening about all the stuff that happened this summer that I didn't get to comment on. Stay tuned!

Oh, and as always, we appreciate you coming to the Lunatic's Asylum for all of your deranged opinion needs!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Profile This...

The Scene: A local coffee shop, this past Thursday morning.

Your favorite Lunatic has just sat down to read the menu, knowing full well that no matter what is on it he will order his "usual" -- two over easy, sausage and bacon, home fries, wheat toast, orange juice and coffee -- when he becomes aware of a conversation at another table not 5 feet away.

"Becomes aware" is a polite way to put it. Actually, the two young men engaged in this conversation (it was more like a monologue with one man haranguing the other who could do little more than shake his head, occasionally mutter "word!", "I heard that!" or "I feel you, Brother!") were speaking loud enough to wake the dead.

It became apparent, from both the tone of the conversation and it's subject matter, that this was done on purpose -- that is to say, that the subject was being brought up loudly and obnoxiously so that others in the coffee shop would be made to feel uncomfortable.

That's because the two men speaking were black, and the majority of the clientele was white.

Saturday, August 03, 2013

The Great Beatles Blast Disaster...

I am in great physical pain as I write this. It has to do with the picture at left. Remember it well, for it will become important later on.

Before I get to the cause of this incredible agony, I must make it quite clear just how tough and resilient I normally am, just to give you some sort of idea as to just how bad the events of this evening had to have been in order to get me to complain about physical pain.

As an 8-year old, I  suffered with an inflamed, on-the-point-of-bursting appendix for a week, and barely whimpered.

As a teenager, I was involved in a fistfight that was so vicious that it resulted in a nose so bloodied that it actually soaked through my clothes to cake upon my skin, and a severe concussion from which I passed out....but only AFTER I had kicked the bejesus out of the other kid, breaking his arm in two places, and fracturing one of his ribs.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

This Just In: Islam is a Violent Criminal Mental Disorder for Retards...

So says a Danish psychiatrist. No shit, Sherlock?

It appears as if this article is mostly a straight translation from the original Danish. The grammar can get a bit rough.

The result of this doctor's research?

Islam demands criminal behavior from it's followers, and then puts them in a peculiar mental state that prevents then from distinguishing right from wrong.

Sort of like Al Sharpton and Je$$e Jackson.

The solution the author advocates?

Stop 'positive discrimination' (i.e. affirmative action) in favor of Muslims, and demand they integrate according to Danish standards.

Say that in this country and a picket line starts to form on your front lawn. I applaud this man for having a set of balls.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

People Are Effin' Stupid...

You know, I've always held a notion that you can learn a lot about human nature sometimes by just sitting back and watching how people behave from a distance.

Then again, you could also find yourself scratching your head wondering how it was we managed to climb down out of the trees and invent frozen pizza and thermonuclear warheads when you actually stop to consider what most people are doing.

It's incredible that we have survived as a species.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Weiner, Spitzer..There's a Blowjob Joke in There, Somewhere...

I would like to post an open letter to the voters of New York City.

I'm quite worried that many of you will do something so unthinkable, so mind-bogglingly stupid, so counter to your own interests, and actually take seriously the candidacy for public office (or should we say Orifice?) of one Anthony Weiner, infamous Twitter Dick Pic distributor, and one Elliot Spitzer, notorious Sex-with-a-hooker-while-wearing-black-socks aficionado.

Stronger Than The Storm, Indeed!

Just returned from Atlantic City, NJ and a weekend of depraved debauchery at the gaming tables.

My thanks and appreciation goes out to the Staff of the Revel Hotel and Casino, who did everything that was humanly possible to make our stay (Tess and her late-husband's mother came with me) a true delight, even if you can't smoke in the room you've paid for.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

The Jihadis Are After Me...

There has been an increase in traffic to this website from a particular Arab website.

I figure I can expect either a lawsuit or a letter bomb just about any day, now. I seem to have caught the attention of some official-sounding Arab organization, and it appears as if they have been searching this site for the term, of all things, donkey sex, in all it's permutations. Among other things.

Which tells me that whoever is doing the searching is probably in Pakistan,or a Pakistani living in the US, because according to Google the only country that routinely registers more online search engine requests for donkey sex than Mexico, is Pakistan. They're also Number One in gay porn and rape video.

But that's only because they can't be Numero Uno in economic productivity, production of Nobel Prize Winners, or Personal Hygiene, and mainly because Cricket -- the only thing they are good at, besides exploding -- is gayer than Ru Paul.

So, I can expect a cease-and-desist order or a visit from an "Imam" pretending to be reasonable, I figure, real soon.

The group doing the snooping, from the limited research I've done, is some sort of Pan-Arab clusterfuck of the sort that has been championed by the likes of Abdel Nasser and Saddam Hussein, which is to say a Pan-Arab-Ba'athist-Nazi sort of coalition of disaffected camel fuckers from every corner of the Islamic shithole states. Given this sort of pedigree and this sort of membership, I'm confident that any assassination attempt will fail utterly if only because the car bomber sent to do me in will accidentally set himself off prematurely as he performs his final rite of ritual masturbation leading up to the "Allahu Akbar!" moment.

In which case, he'll still get 72 virgins, only they'll all look like Danny DeVito, and have at least one chipped tooth apiece (think about it, Men).

Come and get me, you sheepshagging wife-beaters! I'll be more than happy to fuck you up if you show your faces around here. Mohammed Atta couldn't kill me with a 757 and that was your first string.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Random Thought for Today...

I'm thinking President Obama is in Africa this week just waiting for Nelson Mandela to die, so that he can be photographed as being "Johnny on the Spot", ala Je$$e Jack$on, re: MLK.

In other words, Obama is there to wave the bloody shirt and assume the mantle of  Universal Uber Black Icon just as soon as Nelson gives up the ghost.

This explains a few things....especially why this "official visit"  seems to be going on forever.

That is how desperate Barack Obama has become to establish some sort of "Legacy": he's willing to waste $100 million to travel halfway around the world and hover over Mandela's deathbed like a fucking vulture. For....?

Oh, right: so someone can snap that dramatic picture (we can only hope it's black and white, because that makes it ever so much more 'dramatic') of Obama paying homage to the Great Man of History while simultaneously picking up his fallen mantle. If they can get Winnie Mandela to even be within seventeen feet of Odoofus (dare we dream? Perhaps actual physical contact between the two?), it's an even better image.

Maybe Morgan Freeman can reprise his typical "Magic Negro" role in the film version?

Otherwise, one wonders why Obama didn't just mail the usual ironclad-claptrap-semi-retarded speeches in? It's not like he's had anything to actually say to these folks that he hasn't already worn our ears out with, is it?

Sunday, June 30, 2013

What Rachel Jeantel Means to America...

The misshapen lump of flesh to the left is one Rachel Jeantel, who, according to most media reports, is the 'star' witness in the murder case against George Zimmerman, the man accused of having stalked and murdered a young black kid in Florida.

The Trayvon Martin Case has caused a great deal of  tumultuous debate in America, most of it of the stupid sort. What else could one expect? For the case is a microcosm, in many ways, of just what is wrong with many aspects of modern life in this country. Racial hatred, an irresponsible press, opportunistic 'Civil Rights' figures, ready-to-jump-on-bandwagons politicians, overeager prosecutors, a vastly misinformed citizenry, a legal system which creaks under the weight of it's own obsession with minutiae...

And then there's Miss Jeantel.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Things I Wish I Could Say Out Loud, Part One...

Ah, how one longs for the good old days, when seemingly no subject was considered taboo, and one could voice one's opinion without having half the room you're in cringe and go "ewwww!'.

I was thinking of this not too long ago, after the death of actress Jean Stapleton was announced. For those of  you who were born into the permanently puckered rectum version of this world (that would be post-Clinton Administration), Ms. Stapleton gained lasting fame and American-icon status as Edith Bunker, the long-suffering, dingbat-but-possessed-of-a-simple-wisdom bride of one Archie Bunker on television's All in the Family.

For those of you who believe television history began and ended with the first episode of Survivor, All in the Family was a situation comedy that aired in the early 1970's and ran into the 1980's which was, to put it mildly, grossly politically incorrect by today's anal-retentive standards. Which means that no one could even think of making All in the Family in this day-and-age. Anyone who tried would be shot outside the television producer's office for even suggesting it.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Green is For the Little People...

I meant to write about this a week or so ago, but didn't get around to it.

It's a story about one of them Silicon Valley douchebags who has more money than common sense. Money he probably got for providing the Obama Administration with my e-mails and phone records, and from selling shares of online companies that aren't worth the paper they're printed on.

Anyways, it seems that this doofus, who is what one might consider one of those extreme environMENTALists, did something which, quite frankly, is not all that shocking, but is indicative of the real thought processes behind most people who push a Green Agenda.

See, this asshole spent a few million bucks to have a section of Redwood Forest bulldozed, just so that he could have the Dungeons&Dragons-themed wedding the nerdy little fuck probably always wanted.

EnvironMENTALism isn't about saving Mother Gaia: it's about a bunch of self-selected elites getting to rape the planet in the name of saving it at everyone else's expense, and about telling others how they should live. In this guy's world, it's probably quite okay to destroy a two-thousand year old redwood to erect a mock up of Tintagel so you can play Knights of the Round Table on your wedding day, so long as you gave to the Audubon Society, Greenpeace, and the Obama campaign. What counts is your intent, not your actions.

The Catholic Church used to operate this way. They called it an indulgence, in which a rich man's money bought him forgiveness for his mortal sins.

The funny part about the modern version, is that the very people who behave like this probably consider the Catholic Church to be the most corrupt organization that ever existed.

Japan Needs Another Nuking, Methinks...

Apparently, two were not enough.

Now, I don't mean to pick on the Japanese. I have spent a great deal of time with many Japanese people (I once worked for two Japanese companies) and have found the majority to be regular Joes and Janes, and only a few would be what one could charitably call "eccentric" on one end of the scale, and "full-blown, wild-hair-up-their-asses insane" at the other extreme.

And let's face it; you have to admire a country that has soldiered on successfully in the wake of multiple earthquakes, tsunamis, utter defeat in war, and Lord only knows how many visits from Godzilla and Gamera.

Between the B-29's, Pacific Plate, atomic radiation-produced freaks of nature and at least one visit from the Top Gear guys, Tokyo has probably suffered more and worse disasters than the Carter and Obama Administrations, combined.

However, in recent years, it seems the Japanese have collectively gone batshit insane.when it comes to the subject of sex. And one need no more proof of this than a quick thought about the newest sexual fetish to strike the Land of the Rising Sun.

Eyeball licking.

Friday, June 14, 2013

"Help" Syrian Rebels? Why?

RE: The announcement by the Obama Administration that it will give "aid" to the Syrian rebels currently fighting the regime of Dictator-for-Life Bashir Al-Assad.

I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:

When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Mr. Orwell, Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Phone...

The handsome devil to the left is one Eric Arthur Blair, better known to the world as George Orwell.

Mr. Orwell was the author of some of the greatest anti-authoritarian novels of all time. Books like 1984 and Animal Farm will stand the test of time as classics, and he was also an accomplished essayist, book reviewer, and journalist. Orwell, despite the fact that he was a Socialist, is one of my heroes.

As if that were a secret? I only bust out an Orwell reference about every thirty seconds, sometimes.

He’s a hero to me because, unlike most writers of his day -- a good many of whom are given the honorific of ‘great’ for little to no reason beyond that they appeal to pansy academics -- he dared to speak the truth, plainly and as he saw it.  He did not apologize for his political positions, but did do his best to convince you of their veracity and utility with a command of the language that has been matched by very few. Compared to Orwell, in terms of the use of the English language, Shakespeare was a drooling idiot.

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Well, What Did You Think Would Happen?

Liberals' issue with the Patriot Act and the other extraordinary police powers given to the Executive Branch in the direct aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks was NEVER about Civil Liberties, Freedom, or the even the Constitutionality of it all. Despite the lip service they paid to such concepts back when.

It was always that those powers were going to be given to the likes of a Bible-thumping, anti-abortionist, right wing, gay-hating, dumb-as-dogsqueeze George W. Bush, and his would-be Reichsfuhrer, John Ashcroft, first.

Oh, I imagine that this whole regime of Orwellian surveillance could be worse:

The American People could have been really stupid and elected Hillary Clinton. Can you imagine what She and Bill would have done with this sort of power?

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Of Bicycles and Horny Moose...

Two totally unrelated stories that I will quickly...ummm...relate...for you by the time this is finished.

Really, I promise!

The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Douchebag of the Week: Senator John McCain...

I wish someone would finally (metaphorically) put a stake through the heart of John McCain before next sunrise. 

His continued ability to leave his coffin every evening, suck some more blood from the body politic and return unscathed to strike again the following night is beginning to remind me of Count Dracula.

Actually, McCain often reminds me of Count Chocula -- a goofy, cartoonish, two-dimensional character on a cereal box -- only with power and an over-developed sense of self-importance. It’s time to knock him down a few pegs until he’s little more than the Count from Sesame Street.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Welcome to Zimbabwe, America...

Upon seeing this Mussolini-like pose, struck by a man, who much like it's originator, is also a shallow and hollow human being with few redeeming qualities, I find myself curiously in mind of an age old adage that goes something like this:

One bad apple does not spoil the whole bushel.

I do not know the origin of this phrase, and quite frankly it isn't all that important. However, it is necessary to view the events of the last five years through the prism of this quaint expression, for it is our curse to live in a day and age in which bad apples have become the norm and are hardly the exception.

When one looks at the metaphorical apples and bushels which represent the sum total of America's Obama Experience, it becomes apparent that old saw should be taken out of the lexicon, for it is now becoming a universal truism that today's seeming wisdom will, eventually, become tomorrow's stinking load of bullshit.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Lunatic: 1, Bureaucracy: 0

Oh, happy day! It has finally happened! I have finally been able to prove to the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing,  unionized high school dropouts at the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles that I, your humble correspondent, do exist!

I have just received my brand, spankin' new New York State Photo identification card. The one I've been seeking like it was the Holy Fuckin' Grail for five years now. If you're not familiar with my trials and tribulations on this subject, you can read about them here and here.

I'll wait until you're up to speed....

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Of Bombers, Rapists, and Immigration Reform...

By now, everyone knows these photographs; they are of the (alleged) Boston Marathon Bombers,  Chechen immigrants who came to America and somehow found it necessary, for reasons yet to be discerned, to plant shrapnel bombs that killed three and wounded another 180.

They then, as you  know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Explosion at Boston Marathon; Obama Pulled off Golf Course for Photo Op...

After the explosion at the Boston Marathon this afternoon. President Obama was pulled off the golf course to announce sweeping new Marathon Control Laws, a National Marathoner's Registry, and tough, new mandatory background checks on the purchase of all Sporting Goods.

Seriously, from the pics I've seen so far: no major structural damage, no smokin' hole in the ground like you would expect to see from a gas main explosion. Wondering if our Exploding Cousins from the Desert are involved?

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Just What Staten Island Needs... a hole in the collective fuckin' head. Pictured here is an artist's rendition of the newest pile of steaming dogcrap to emerge from the fevered imaginations of New York City pols, and their sycophantic douchebag lapdogs, the real estate developers. 

Whenever there's this sort of stupidity proposed for New York City, you can bet your bottom dollar that a real estate developer came up with the idea, and he's spread enough money around the halls of power to get it taken seriously.

Only in this case, the real estate developer is shocked to discover that no matter how much money he's put into some politician's pocket, they somehow turn out to be the worst business partners one can imagine. Fuck him, serves him right.

Par For The Course In New Yorkistan...

Shocker: Dem and GOP pols caught in bribery scam to get Dem elected Mayor of New York City on GOP ticket...

Now, what's so shocking is not that a democrat would try to bribe his or her way into office;they do this all the time, as a matter of course. Especially in a place like New York, Chicago, Detroit or Washington, D.C., because the sort of democrat those places seem to breed would never see a democrat elected if he/she had to rely on, oh...their wits, or telling the truth.

I'm Back!

Apologies for the extended hiatus, but I have been working on two novels (and some other stuff) that I hope to self-publish very soon.

My first novel, The Deer in the Headlights, is a work of political fiction based upon contemporary events. It should frighten the fuck out of you, and I'm hoping this is it's main selling point. It's currently in editing, and a few review copies will soon be sent to friends and associates for feedback.

My second attempt at a novel (Tales of the Rubyrun: The Axeman) is still in production, and might appeal to fantasy/sci-fi readers. Won't be long now, I figure.

Thanks to everyone who continued to show up here in the hopes of finding some new tomfoolery and diseased commentary. The traffic was appreciated!

Friday, January 18, 2013

"Journalists" are Assholes...

The novel is coming along. If by 'coming along' I mean to say that writing it is like pulling teeth. I hadn't realized that it would have been this difficult to tell a story you've rehearsed inside your own head for nearly a decade, but apparently it is.

I was recently complaining about this to a journalist friend of mine (he writes for one of the New York dailies, but not one of the Big Three) who said something along the lines of "Now you know what we journalists have to contend with...".

Two things: