Saturday, March 27, 2010

Adventures in Dining...

An interesting afternoon yesterday.

It all began innocently enough; I was walking through my neighborhood, taking care of my personal business, when it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't had lunch. No problem, I was on a major street and there are a number of restaurants, pizzerias and delicatessens, so finding something tasty shouldn't have been much of a problem.

Except that I couldn't resist that smell.

You see, in recent years there has been an influx of immigrants (most of them are for certain illegal, you can tell by their behavior) into the neighborhood, mostly from Central America. A lot Mexicans and Nicaraguans, but not of the sort you'd think. I believe they used to be called Mestizos -- the dark-skinned, broad-faced Central Americans who are the descendants of mixed-race Indians. These are, for the most part, the largest group you see flooding across the American border, because they are usually the lowest strata of Central and South American society, and therefore, the most desperate. Well, there's a million of them (it seems) here in my old nabe.

So, there I was passing THAT DOOR. THAT DOOR used to belong to a diner which I used to eat in quite frequently in my youth. Best Grilled-cheese-with-bacon-and-tomato -- and a large plate of steak fries -- you ever had. But the owner died or something, and for many years I forgot all about it, and I'm not even certain it was open for all of that time. In the meantime, the "Mexicans took it over". Someone bought or rented the place, and opened a Cantina. I see the "Mexicans" going in and out of there all the time; they stop in for beer and the pool table, they gather outside to smoke, or bullshit. There's always the music. Horns. Lots of horns. And guitars.
There's never any trouble there that I hear of, and the place always seems to have a good crowd in it. And it always smells good when you pass by. Someone is always cooking up a storm in there.

So, here I was, hungry, and in front of THAT DOOR, my mouth watering in anticipation. After all, I love Mexican food, the hotter the better. So, I decided I was going to go for it.

No sooner did the door open than a dozen heads turned in unison. I doubt many Gringos come in here, and the stares weren't just those of idle curiosity -- they were almost hostile. I had just invaded someone's territory -- although I should like to point out they'd invaded mine first when they crossed the fucking border. But this was not the time for this discussion. I was starving and something smelled delicious, and not even the thought of being knifed in a dark, Mexican cantina was going to keep me from it. I even caught a few racial epithets being muttered, and at least one homosexual joke directed at me.

The Girl Behind the Counter was plump, but pleasant-looking. I have to say this about most of the "Mexican" girls around here; they are invariably all lumpy and plump, and many are truly, hideously ugly. This girl was better than the average and wore less make-up than most (they often wear it in the same way you might Spackle a hole in the wall). Anyways, she was shy (I'm guessing she doesn't speak much English), and didn't have much to say until I broke out my halfway-decent Spanish and asked if they were serving lunch. And everyone in the place seemed dumbstruck.

They hadn't realized that I spoke Spanish (I actually understand it better than I speak it).

I guess they don't find many Gringos Who Speak Spanish in their Dark Cantina, either. Espcially not ones who know they've been insulted behind their backs. There were two slight problems, though; these people don't speak "standard" (Castillian) Spanish, but rather dialect which makes them difficult to understand (for me), and what I took to be a "Mexican" restaurant instead turned out to be a Salvadoran restaurant. Which was be a bit of an unpleasant surprise; I used to work with a Salvadoran woman (she was legal!) who used to bring food from home to the office. Salvadorans have a talent for using every part of the animal (including hooves, skin and snouts), and an even greater talent for making it look appetizing. However, despite their best efforts not much of it actually is appetizing. No matter how many spices you use, or how creative you are in disguising a cow's rectum --it's still a friggin' cow's rectum and tastes like ass. That's if you can manage to chew it and keep it down.

So, I scanned the menu -- not because I was expecting to find anything edible, but because having come this far I had to at least make a brave show of it all. Finally, I came to something I recognized and asked if it was being made with the pig's butt and balls, or if it were real pork (only politely) -- and that got a chuckle from the wiseguy homophobes. You have to do that when ordering Salvadoran food, because there's like 10 different words for pork, and if you get the wrong one you're eating gonads. It turns out it was real pork, the honest-to-goodness good cuts; it's more readily available here in America than in El Salvador, and at that moment I was thanking the Farmers of America for being so productive so as to make pork so relatively cheap and easy to obtain that even Salvadorans could dispense with using ears and toenails in what passes for their cuisine.

I ordered Pupusas, which is tortilla filled with pork, cheese and beans, all fried up and served with tomato sauce. I gave the Certido (pickled cabbage) that came with it a very big miss. I surrendered to habit and ordered a Coke with it, although I was willing to try one of those Salvadoran sodas they had in the display case. It was all reasonably-priced. I paid my bill, took my food and walked home -- with a dozen sets of eyes on my back all the way from the counter to the Cantina door. I had an especially tasty meal, I must say -- and an even better colon cleansing. It wasn't quite food poisoning -- just that all the hot pepper had a rather more... cathartic... effect than I would have thought. Half a bottle of Pepto later-- and two rolls of Charmin -- and all was well.

I will say this much about the entire experience; I will certainly NOT do it again anytime soon, at least not in that restaurant (I can't help it; I love trying new foods and can't say no to spicy foods). But even more than that, I think what I'll take away from this experience was the thought of being considered a stranger in my own goddamned country. The circumstances in which I was regarded as unwelcome by people who probably shouldn't even be here was enough to remind me that these folks aren't here for the purposes of becoming Americans. Not in the sense that my great-grandparents did, at least; they don't wish to learn English, they don't even want to share their restaurants and cuisine with The Gringos, they simply want money to send home and welfare and hospitals, and food stamps and schools, free-of-charge, whenever they can get it.

I then recalled something that I had read not too long ago: the New York City Public School System has a Major Problem (in addition to all the other ones it has, this one seems the biggest): it has a shortage of bi-lingual teachers. You would think this would be easy enough to fix, but here's the issue -- there are something close to a quarter-million students in the schools here who's first language is as likely to be Russian, Mandarin, Portuguese, Creole, Arabic, Hindu, and the even-more-remote non-Spanish dialects of the most distant parts of rural Mexico and El Salvador.

Can you imagine the chaos and expense of having to provide a service like this? Especially when there's a Public Union and a government involved? Nevermind what these people are going to do to the Healthcare system when they can abuse it with impunity, thanks to ObamaCare, and God forbid, the coming Amnesty.

Better than 60% of the Hispanic students in the NYC Schools drop out, the majority before they finish high school. They then melt back into their "communities", live at the edges of society, and refuse to assimilate, and eventually, end up as wards of the state, either in a prison, a hospital or the welfare office. When they're not out landscaping or hanging out at Home Depot, it seems, they're hanging out in darkened cantinas making their hateful opinions of the Gringos unmistakably clear to any who can understand them.

Why is it that we're struggling to provide services to people who came here in violation of the law, treat us as if we're invaders in our own land, don't wish to associate with us, and are encouraged not to so that they can be manipulated for political purposes, only to have them regard US as the Enemy when we walk into a restaurant?

Friday, March 26, 2010

National Healthcare and You...

As seen through the eyes of Mark Steyn.

Even The French Didn't Surrender This Quickly..

Ralph Peters is rather pissed at what passes for diplomacy within the Obama Administration. You can read about it here.

A few remarks, if I may:

1. Pissing on the Israelis is absolutely the wrong thing to do. It is, and always has been, in America's interests to support democratic states -- especially those with whom we share a common heritage, and which are beset by a host of barbaric enemies threatening genocide. In some liberal (small 'l' intentional) circles, the reason there is "unrest" in the Middle East is not because the Arabs are incapable of making peace -- there's far too much money in the form of Western Aid to be made for that to happen -- but because there's Jews, and worse, they insist on having a place to live. Lefties are, historically, always the worst Anti-Semites (you can look that up). The attitude of many on the political Left is that if Israel simply disappeared, there would be no more war, and there would be no Al'Qaeda or Hamas or any form of terrorism ever again, and we wouldn't have to support the Saudis with American blood and treasure just for their oil.

This is complete and utter crap. Even if Israel disappeared tomorrow, the Muslim world would still find a reason to smash airliners into Western office buildings. Because the fight is not about land or even Jews, it's about a religious imperative in which the "good" Muslim is supposed to kill, enslave or convert by threat of violence all the non-Muslims. Only when everyone bends knee to Allah, in the Muslim mindset, will there be anything like peace. Hell, the Koran even excuses the worst excesses of human behavior -- murder, rape, theft -- as long as they happen to non-believers, and can be excused under the banner of Jihad. That's the kind of Peace they want.

And even if they did manage to wipe Israel off the map, there would still be conflict; right now, Muslims do a better job of killing each other than the U.S. Army does. We launch missiles from drones and maybe kill a dozen people. Iraqi Sunnis drive a Volkswagen full of TNT into a Baghdad supermarket and kill scores of Shi'a. We kill half -a-dozen Taliban fighters in a remote Afghan mountain village, and a few days later the Taliban slaughters the inhabitants of another execution-style for "collaborating". Muslims are even more vicious to other Muslims with whom they have sectarian differences with, and the cruelty on display by any side in those conflicts only gets worse when they're politicized, i.e. driven by a fundaMENTAList brand of Islam.

Israel is an island of sanity and civilization in a sewer full of goat-raping murderers, gun-toting pedophiles, explosives-obsessed sodomites, and pig-ignorant savages. For that reason alone it should be protected and defended. But Barack Obama pretends that it doesn't exist by not even talking to Netanyahu, and treating him even more shabbily than he did Gordon Brown. I'm surprised they didn't send Bibi home with a canned ham and an autographed picture of Hitler as a "gift".

The Obama Administration, which ran on a platform of "strengthening our old alliances" does everything it can to destroy them, and the only guiding principles that I can discern is either the desire to gain the acceptance of people who would still hate our guts no matter what we did, or plain, unadulterated stupidity. There seems to be no one over at the State Department to tell Obama that he's an asshole, and explain where he's gone wrong.

2. Pakistan - we should get over this delusion that the Pakistanis are "helping" us in Afghanistan.

All the government of Pakistan is doing is sucking up American aid so that it can ultimately defend itself against the threats of internal dissent (fomented by the very Taliban it created in the 'ungovernable' Tribal Areas of the Northwest Frontier, a fundaMENTAList movement that is even far more rabid than Al'Qaeda) and India. The whole idea of the Pakistanis doing anything is predicated on how much they get, and how quickly they get it. Then they dip their toe in the water only to quickly withdraw and protest loudly about their "sacrifices".

You should not count on ANY Muslim to fight another Muslim for you. They find that notion even more objectionable than child rape, you know. It's in their rule book. It's why, in centuries past, Muslim powers employed great armies of slaves to fight their internecine wars. Even when Muslims do fight other Muslims, it's all inside baseball; who's the real descendant of the prophet, who's the bigger bully, often a wayward daughter dares to show a streak of independance and must be beheaded. They don't fight other Muslims on behalf of infidels (not unless there's money in it, or the rare occasion when Infidel goals happen to dovetail with their own, There are no common aims vis-a-vis Pakistan). Someone in the White House should read some history, really. The Pakistanis may be going through the motions, but their heart is not really in it for cultural and political reasons. The sooner someone realizes that, the better.

3. Russia - I read this morning that the United States and Russia have a new nuclear arms reduction treaty, which wasn't so much negotiated as much as rammed up Obama's Ass. Good; it's nice to know that he'll see how it feels now. And he'll take it, because he wants that moment where he can bask in the manufactured glory of "Peacemaker" with a worthless treaty.

In day's past, when we had actual leaders in this country and not just mere managers, such a thing as the Russians unilaterally declaring a treaty "signed" would not have been tolerated, and would have been viewed by smart, sober men as antagonistic and perhaps even insulting. But this is the Presidency of The Press Release -- even this indignity will be swallowed so long as President Dingbat can stand at a podium somewhere and wave a piece of paper, flashbulbs a-poppin', Chris Matthews-leg-a -tinglin'.

The result is that the United States will be committed to reducing it's nuclear arsenal by 25% at a time when the terrorist-supporting Iranians are arming themselves with nuclear weapons. The Obama mentality on this one is that if we have nuclear weapons, it only stands to reason that everyone else will want them, too. If we just give ours up, so will the Iranians, who will be convinced by our disarming that we really are interested in "engaging" them.

The desired end is not "Peace", per se, but the extraneous crap that comes with an idealized version of politics wherein reality is trumped by appearance and perception. It's once again the idea that the President should be seen as "engaging" our enemies. This strategy is not predicated upon national defense -- it's predicated upon the image of the televised "Summit Meeting", the Handshake between Obama and Ahma-dinna-doo-dad, and the pictures that will grace the history books forever. It doesn't matter if Obama achieves anything; it only matters that he be seen as achieving something. The details don't matter. This is how these people think. It's a mentality in which the wrapping paper becomes the best part of the gift, in fact, it's the only reason for the gift in the first place. None of the Obama Administration foreign policy process has anything to do with disarming Iran, defending America and it's allies, making the world a little bit safer -- it's about getting Obama that Great Man in History Moment.

It's all about HIM, you see. We're only here to adore him and bask in His Glory.If that means we're put in danger or our country is degraded in the process, then that's the price Obama must pay in order to be regarded amongst the Greats; Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Kim Il Jong, and so forth.

It was once said jokingly that the first duty of all French Prime Ministers upon taking office was the signing of the stock of ready-made surrender forms -- all addressed "To Whom It May Concern...". It's becoming clearer by the day that President Obama is determined to make the United States France as rapidly as possible; we're being insultingly aloof to our allies, we're disarming while our enemies get stronger and bolder, we're getting Socialized medicine, and we're surrendering where we should be fighting.

Update: re-edited.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

You Used to Have To Hire A Hooker...

Facebook linked to rise in syphillis infections.

I've always known this Internet thingy was dangerous.

(H/T to Instapundit)

Memo To Democrats: Remember All That Stuff About Geese and Ganders?

The news today is all about the harassment that democrats in Congress are now (allegedly) receiving in the wake of their Health Care votes. There were some Black Congressional people this past weekend who claimed they were spit upon and taunted by racial epithets. No proof has been found. There were various incidents of property being damaged by "republican" and "Tea Party" operatives, including some democratic-party offices. Again, no proof of who was responsible is offered.

This afternoon, not ten minutes ago, there is a report that the offices of Representative Anthony Wiener (never was a man no aptly-named!) here in New York City were evacuated because of an envelope full of suspicious white powder, harkening back to the days of 9/11.

The democrats are in fear for their lives, or at least they'd like you to believe they are.

And they really should be. They went ahead and did something -- by unconstitutional means, no less --that the majority in this country was dead set against. I don't want to see anyone get killed over it, nor do I wish to dismiss it out of hand (there are crazy people out there, trust me), but I get the distinct impression that most of these claims are patently false, if only because I'm not inclined to believe anyone who has a "D" next to their name given their recent record with the truth. Worse, I get the idea that they are being specifically orchestrated by democrats themselves so as to give the impression that there is a backlash of hatred and racism out there in the Tea and Republican parties, which will stoop to violence -- and perhaps even to murder or terrosim -- to achieve it's evil end of reintroducing slavery and taking band-aids and eyedrops away from The Children.

That's the official democratic party propaganda.

This has been done so many times (I remember that little thing in Nazi Germany they called the Reichstag Fire), that's it's practically Page One in the Political Dirty Tricks book. It's certainly a page out of Saul Alinsky's (Barack Obama's Buddah)book: plant people in the crowds to hurl racist epithets and stir trouble, destroy your own property in the dark of night and blame the other guy, get your "Reverends" to threaten race riots if they don't get their way, and so on and so forth.

Why, some Lefties even went so far as to plant bombs and then consider themselves "patriots" who fighting against capitalism, The Man, The Establishment or for "Love", back in the day. Some of those people are very good friends of Barack Obama, too, you know. So far, no "right-wing-gun nut" has planted a bomb (that we know of) and I rather doubt any of them will. This is just democrats crying wolf in order to garner sympathy in a time when they should be in hiding. When it comes to threats, intimidation, and dirty tricks, Lefties wrote the book, and we "Righties" don't do it, because we're basically decent people, whereas you are not. Fuck them if they can't take it now.

If it's Tea and Republican party people doing it, then I have but one thing to say -- good for you. I will condition that congratualtory rhetoric with the obligatory don't do anything stupid, and certainly don't kill anyone. It's about time the Left was confronted by it's own tactics, and if they're howling in fear of the forces they have unleashed, then that seems to be a manifestation of their guilty consciences, or their belief that we're sheep who would never react to what our "Betters" and their Post-Racial-Bullshit Artist had in store for us. perhaps if any of these little dictators ,manage to survive electorally this November they might be a bit more circumspect in both their own rhetoric (which is pretty much over-the-top all the time) and their stupid politics.

If we're really lucky, the worst offenders will get out of politics altogether.

I don;t wish to see the crushing of dissent on either side of the polticial spectrum in this country, but it's becoming clear that we have a ruling class, especially on the Left, which is divorced from reality. They are unteachable because they aren't listening. They don't think they have to. This pisses people off, and people who are pissed off often do irrational, and violent, things. Especially when they need jobs, economic and national security and faith in the future far more than they need free boob jobs for illegal aliens, or triple bypasses for crack addicts.

The democrats (small 'd' intentional) couldn't absorb this basic formulation,and it's why they find themselves being threatened today. Whether they'll learn any lessons from it remains to be seen.

In the meantime, I'll just enjoy the comic display.

Update: corrected my poor grammar and spelling!

Still More Bad Medicine...

Okay, now with the passage of ObamaCare, I'm taking an in-depth look at some of the"medicines" that are being heavily-marketed in the US today, and which might wind up being paid for by ObamaCare (i.e. the overburdened taxpayer) one day if we're not careful.

As always, the main complaint about these drugs are that they are extremely expensive, might be of dubious value medically, and are marketed as your one-stop miracle cure to all of Life's little problems. I include the average price of these drugs, because this is what they cost if you don;' have a prescritpion drug plan on your insurance, and because they'll probably cost twice as much once the government controls everything.

This week's haul found yet more anti-depressants, the return of some oldies-but-goodies, and I've noticed an increase in birth-control ads ever since last Saturday, in print, online and on television. So, here we go with this week's Bad Medicine List:

1. Aricept - for the treatment for Alzheimer's. Please note the website has a section you're supposed to read entitled "How Arricept is Thought To Work", complete with a video. The implication is that someone is selling a medicine without being certain of just what, exactly, it does, or how it does it. It's like rolling the dice with people's lives. But that's okay; it sometimes works, --fuck us if we know how -- and if it doesn't, well -- you have Alzheimer's, so how would you know? This is exactly why I hated anti-depressants when I took them because medical science -- for all it's accomplishments -- still cannot fathom the human brain. Side effects include the usual; vomiting, diarrhea, loss of sleep and appetite, some bruising and exacerbation of bleeding-relating problems (like ulcers, hemophilia, etc), but then again, you have Alzheimer's and probably sit in your own filth all day, so who gives a crap? Just hand over the money. Aricept will set you back $250.00 a month. That's a lot of cash for a drug that no one, even it's makers, can seem to explain. You can see the intentionally-dramatic, heart-wrenching commercial here.

2. Mirena - No sooner was ObamaCare signed into law then the birth control ads started in earnest. One of these is for a drug called Mirena, which sounds like your live-in Spanish maid more than it does medicine -- and which lead me to some very funny thoughts about Mexicans and birth control. However, Mirena is obviously specifically marketed to the active Soccer-Mom who can't be bothered to deal with a trifling little nuisance like contraception -- not when she's simply swamped with play-dates, Pilate's, Book Club, the weekly mani-and-pedi, Coffee-house-lunchtime poetry readings, PTA and Ceramics class. In other words; the pampered suburban housefrau. Perhaps she should just stay home more? Mirena is a contraceptive IUD, which performs some sort of women's-stuff-witchcraft that prevents pregnancy for up to five years -- assuming it doesn't manage to perforate your uterus, a common problem thanks to the nice, sharp point. The first indication is a condition referred to as "Breakthrough Bleeding", which could possibly lead to sterility (It's a bad idea to insert an object with a sharp point into your vagina and leave it there for up to five years? Who woulda thunk it?). And that's when Mirena isn't causing acne, mood changes, weight gain, and ovarian cysts. Yep, now that you can screw without having to worry about getting pregnant, she'll be ever-so-much-more attractive with all that extra weight, acne and the mood swings. Yessirrreeee, can't hardly wait! And why would you want all of this? Well, as the website says, Mirena "Eliminates the need to interrupt sex for contraception or [to] seek partner compliance ."

I had no idea that this was so pervasive a problem in Suburban America that a pharmaceutical company was forced to spend several hundred million dollars to research and market a drug to fix it! Mirena is fairly cost-effective -- so long as it doesn't kill you or render you barren -- at $260.00 per treatment. You can see the perky, above-average-cutie used to market this crap here.

3. Nexium - this is an oldie-but-goodie, and a new generation of commercials has been made to extol the virtues of the Healing Purple Pill. Nexium is prescribed for what's known now as "Acid Reflux Disease" which used to be known simply as "Stuffing Your Fat Face Until You Almost Vomit and Get Severe Heartburn". I once suffered from the dreaded Acid Reflux Disease -- but that's because my diet almost completely consisted of Hooter's Hot wings, Burritos, Jalapeno peppers right-out-the-jar, truckloads of Chinese food, and Pizza-and-vodka-three times a week, all washed down with between 6 and 10 cups of coffee a day. (I'm not kidding; one evening, I was awoken by the most severe burning sensation I have ever felt, only to throw up what appeared to be pure, undigested hot sauce). No sooner did I stop eating that way than did the Acid Reflux Disease cease and desist. But no, I guess some people need a little help because giving up spicy-greasy food is too difficult for them. They need help with impulse control. Now, Nexium is great for curing your severe heartburn, but it'll fuck you up in other ways: breathing problems, chest pain or tightness which might be mistaken for the symptoms of a heart attack, swelling of the lips and tongue, fatigue, diarrhea or constipation (I wonder if what happens if you manage to get both at the same time?), dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, severe gas which will make you either very uncomfortable -- or very lonely. Most of the damage of "acid reflux disease" can be avoided if you just make an effort to change you eating habits, but this is America, and so it has to be a syndrome which absolves us of all moral responsibilility, because we're all such pussies.

Avgerage Cost is about $75 for a 30-day supply, but if you ask me, antacids and a change of diet sound far cheaper, and don't require
$500,00-for-a-30-second ad three-to-five-times-a-day.

4. Prestiq - this is another anti-depressant, a category of drugs that I like to refer to as Suicide Pills. It's been my experience that depression is usually the result of expecting far too much out of life and then being continually disappointed. Having been treated for it for many years, I can promise you that people who are depressed usually start out as idealistic individuals, with sunny dispositions and a eagerness for life that is often steadily eroded by experience. But no, some assholes with "PhD" behind their name insist that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, the very organ that medical science knows the least about. And that the only way to "cure" it is to pump people full of drugs. Like this one, which have questionable efficacy. Possible side effects: increased risk of suicide (go figure!), agitation, hostility, aggression, impulsive actions (yes, giving in to your impulses always works wonders when you're depressed!). Make sure you don't take aspirin with this drug because you might bleed to death internally, and most certainly take care when driving or operating heavy machinery -- especially if you're in one of those aggressive, hostile moods, or when you suddenly get more suicidal than "normal". If that wasn't bad enough, you can look forward to severe constipation, dizziness, increased sweating and loss of appetite, all of which willmake you feel much happier, I'm sure. All this for only $130.00 a month.

There was no commercial available for this piece of crap.

5. Symbicort - This is a drug that's supposed to help people with breathing problems...unless you have Asthma. An interesting note -- there's a ton of literature available on what happens to people taking anti-depressants who take Symbicort as well, and guess what? It ain't pretty. Considering how many people are taking anti-depressants nowadays, I'm not surprised there's that much literature on seemingly-unrelated problems. Anyways, if you take Symbicort, you might breathe easier but you'll be trading in your shortness of breath for these exciting door prizes; skin rashes, itching, hives, swelling of the face, lips and tongue, unspecified other "breathing problems" (huh? I thought it was supposed to cure "breathing problems"), changes in vision (I can breathe! But now I'm blind!), chest pain, rapid or irregular heartbeats, fainting, fevers, high blood pressure, "nervousness" (ah, now I see where they figured out it doesn't work with anti-depressants!), tremors, white patches or sores in the mouth. Nothing like getting sores in your mouth! If that wasn't worth the price of admission, you can look forward to these additional side effects, too: damaged taste buds, coughing, diarrhea (why is it that everything causes diarrhea?), headaches, sore throats, stuffy nose and upset stomachs. Average Cost is about $70 for the 120-dose "Turbo-inhaler!" which sounds more like a ride at an amusement park.

But I guess it beats having to drag an oxygen tank around with you, huh?

No TV commercial was available on YouTube for this one, either.

6. Triilipix - now this one was fascinating! Trilipix is a drug which reduces LDL (the bad cholesterol) and increased HDL (the good cholesterol). It'll also help you get a grip on triglycerides -- nasty little fatty proteins that float around in your bloodstream and fuck up your arteries. Trilipix is often used in combination with a class of drugs called Statins, which block the enzyme that causes your liver to produce cholesterol (I think something like 60-70% of the cholesterol in your body is made by your own liver). The medical science says that if you can manage the amount of "bad" cholesterol and triglycerides simultaneously in the body, you can prevent heart attacks, strokes, atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). All well-and-fine, however, these drugs have some very nasty side effects, mostly centered on the destruction of your liver; this is why they require regular blood tests and medical exams. You'll be in the lab for a test or in the doctor's office at least three times a month, which gets quite expensive. Other side-effects include: muscle pain and weakness which somehow can lead to kidney damage -- and which is often fatal. You will most certainly be dehydrated because of the constant flow of diarrhea, that's when you aren't doubled over in pain because your pancreas and gallbladder are now fucked up. You can also look forward to headaches and frequent heartburn. I've just traded a heart attack for potentially lethal kidney, liver, pancreas and gallbladder issues, with diarrhea on top of it? Yeah, that's sounds like a good deal to me! Average cost was $130.00 for a month's supply.

Couldn't find a commercial for this one, either.

7. Yaz - This one scared the fertilizer out of me, and I'm a guy. I saw this one advertised online. Yaz is yet another birth control pill -- the hip, swingin' new birth control pill with the "with it" name -- that screams "today's youth!". That's when it's not being used to treat simple acne. But Yaz claims to be different! It was originally claimed that it treated a "syndrome" called "Premenstrual dysphoric disorder" which used to be simply known as "the Bitch is on the Rag" syndrome. That's mood swings, bloating, cramping, and the infamous "not tonight, I have a headache" routine . Later on, the FDA required the makers of Yaz to make several "Clarification Commercials" about Yaz and what it was good for -- which actually confused the shit out of me even more when I watched them. Anyways, we used to have a word for women whose "physical and emotional disorder" got that far out of hand, and it wasn't considered a "syndrome" -- it begins with the letter "C" and will get you slapped in polite company. So, I guess Yaz is the miracle, "anti-Bitch" pill men have always hankered for, with the added benefit that you can plow her like a Buffalo parking lot in January and not have her get all lumpy and misshapen...and what do they call that again? Oh yeah, pregnant. Yaz might also increase blood potassium to fatal levels, Ladies, and increases the risk for heart attack and stroke. You can also look forward to upper respiratory infections, vaginal moniliasis (a nasty form of yeast infection), puking, dysmenorrhea (severely painful menstruation), urinary tract infection, unspecified "accidental injury", sinusitis, hyperbolic mood swings, "suspicious" Pap smears, weight gain, depression (Hey, you can take Prestiq now! Good for you!), menstrual disorders, and weakness/fatigue.

Just in case those weren't good enough for you, some women can look forward to these exciting side-effects, recorded during clinical trials:

* In the contraception trial: leukorrhea (thick, yellowish vaginal discharge. Boy, that's attractive!), diarrhea, vomiting, vaginitis (itchy, flakiy crotch), flu syndrome, yeast infections, allergic reaction, cystitis, tooth disorder, sore throat, infection, fever, (Unspecified-)surgery, back pain, migraine, stomach aches, runny nose, acne, gastroenteritis, bronchitis, sore throats, (unspecified-) skin disorders, intermenstrual bleeding, decreased libido, pain, increased cough, dizziness, pain in extremity, and pelvic pain.

* In the PMDD trials: inter-menstrual bleeding, decreased libido, nervousness, menorrhagia (abnormally-heavy flow), pain in extremity, migraine, vaginitis, hyperlipidemia (increased fats in the bloodstream), back pain, diarrhea, increased appetite, enlarged abdomen, and acne.

* In the acne trials: metrorrhagia (bleeding not associated with menstruation), flu syndrome, menorrhagia, gastroenteritis, tooth disorder, infection, vomiting, pharyngitis, sore throat, joint pain, bronchitis, runny nose, skipped monthlies, and urine abnormality (how would you know? I mean, unless it was green or glowing in the dark, or smelled of something not urine-y?).

I had to look a lot of that shit up just to figure out what most of it was.

Ladies, there's an easier, less-painful and troublesome form of contraceptive that you can use, and you won't need a prescription for it. As an added benefit; rumor has it that it's good for your teeth, too, and it won't cost you about $75 a month. Good Lord, but just reading all that made me glad I don't have a vajay-jay.

And Good Grief, while researching the commercial video, I found that since the original commercial aired for Yaz, the company that makes it has been forced (by the FDA) to follow up with ads that "clarify" the original. Sheesh! Here's the original commercial (modified by someone with a sense of humor, but poor spelling skills) and here's the "Clarification" ad....more than once. Oh, and here's a gag ad, too.

And they call this "medicine"?

Note: You can see previous entries in this series by clicking on the Bad Medicine tag below.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I Think I'll Be Reading Mad Magazine, Again...

It was one of the guilty pleasures of my youth. As a boy of 8 all the way into my early teens, I purchased a copy, eagerly, every month. I guess I sort of outgrew it, but upon seeing this, I might become a devoted reader once again...
(H/T To Terrestrial Musings)

This is Why You Should Read Things Before Making Decisions...

If they had read it, they would have known these things!

John Conyers would never have had said such a remarkably stupid thing like this if he had ever read the Constitution, But Congressman Conyers will probably defend himself and say that it's not his fault; he comes from a long line of oppressed minorities for whom and education and reading are the ways of the White Devil.

Reading Am Fundamental, Congressman.

And then, maybe, if they had read the ObamaCare Monstrosity before voting on it, the democratic party wouldn't be in the position of having supported a piece-of-shit bill that didn't do what they said it would, and having to correct it after the fact.

We have seen it happen repeatedly. Literacy, or rather the lack of it, or even worse, the refusal to use it when necessary, has consequences. In this case, a man who has taken a oath to defend the Constitution doesn't even know what it says, so why shouldn't he then believe that what the democrats did last weekend was Constitutional and legal?

In the second case, 216 Congresscritters who were determined to see healthcare nationalized in this country, in any case, are now even more at risk of losing their cushy jobs this coming November because the whole world now knows that they didn't read a 2,700 page monstrosity -- that they all helped to write -- with sixteen months to do it, and it'll end up costing the Republic dearly, and not just in financial terms.

Right now, I could probably run for Congress under the slogan: Hey. I'll at least read it before I vote for it!

(H/T To HotAir and JammieWearingFool)

It's Time To Start Punching Some People in the Mouth...

This just happened on FoxNews (video to follow later);

One of those panty-bunched, bedwetting, liberal, God-I-Want-To-Kick-Him-In-The-Balls-If-Only-He-Had-Any, disgustingly-metrosexual retards from California (he was identified as Ken Yeager, County Supervisor for the City of Santa Clara) was just on talking about his newest ploy to Save the World from Itself.

He has introduced a law that will ban toys from Happy Meals.

This jerkoff believes that the toys are designed to bring children into contact with fatty, high-sodium, high-sugar foods, which will eventually kill them all in the most grotesque and horrible fashion imaginable, and that parents are so overwhelmed that they might not be able to make good decisions about their children's health and food choices. So the State must help them. How the State will "help them make better decisions" is by removing the temptation to the children -- i.e. it will ban something.

I've told you a hundred times: once you give the State the responsibility for providing you Health Care, it now demands that it get to regulate your behavior in return. Some people still haven't gotten the message, I guess.

I'm not advocating anything -- well, really, I am. But since what I'm advocating only applies to people who have already decided they have the right to deny me my rights, or who consider me nothing less than a knuckle-dragging nosepicker who needs their enlightened ideas to keep me from sticking my privates into a wall outlet. I detest people like you. I hate you. If I could offer you all to Usama bin Laden and his band of cutthroat goat-fuckers, I would. In a heartbeat. I wouldn't even take any money for it. I'd consider it a public service.

There. Now,about these people...

Firstly, they're assholes. Worse, they're busybody assholes. They are incapable of minding their own business. This is either because of very poor potty training, or because they believe they have the right to dictate behavior to others. No one conferred that distinction upon them, except themselves and the other pompous fartsniffers they pal around with. These people need a beating. A severe one. And this time, it's not a metaphorical beating that I'm talking about, it's a real, honest-to-Gosh, physical ass-whipping. They are pretentious little snotbags who can't take a polite "Thank you, but I'd like to live my own life for a bit, if you don't mind" for a hint. If they reserve the right to examine and explore and comment upon every aspect of my life, unbidden and without permission, I reserve the right to smash their faces.

Secondly, all you're really doing is punishing the kids. Getting the toy, whether at McDonald's or in a box of Cracker Jacks, is usually a joyous occasion. It's an experience; it's a happy time, it's fun. . The toy is not the problem. The food isn't even the problem (not that it's the best for you, I know). The problem is that the kids are spending all of their time sitting in front of beeping little boxes playing mind-warping games (I know they warp minds; they've warped mine!), instead of being outside running around, jumping, playing and skating and otherwise being physically active. They don't get any physical education in school. Mostly because the money that would have gone to Phys Ed. instead went to teach them how to use condoms and taught them the finer points of anal sex. The Safety Nazis then outlawed monkey bars (that's when the Racial Hustlers didn't object to the term "Monkey Bars" and had them dismantled before the Safety Nazis did), and that was way before Dodgeball suddenly had life-altering, incurable psychological effects that used to be attributed either to rape victims or war survivors.

Thirdly, if one of these peckerheads isn't scooping up his missing teeth after he makes one of his typically-tightass "suggestions" that requires the force of law, heavy fines, and new revenue stream for the State, he'll continue to do it again and again. He'll invent new "problems" that he can put his superior and socially-conscious brain to work on, and the next thing you'll know, you won't be able to use soap (it winds up in the rivers, lakes and oceans, you know). Tieing your own shoes will become the province of the Government and local school board (children who can't tie their shoes by age 12 suffer horrible self-esteem issues which will have to remedied with Velcro-lock shoes, which will later be banned because Velcro doesn't decompose in a landfill). You'll be banned from saying "God Bless You!" to someone -- a courtesy and measure of politeness -- because of the implied religious bias inherent in the phrase.

Finally, there was never a problem on Planet Earth that couldn't be solved by a good, old-fashioned knuckledusting. Ever. I have spent half my life in bars (sadly) and I can tell you this; I have seen even the worst of enemies suddenly become friends after they've gotten drunk and kicked each other's asses up and down the street. There's a transformation that takes place after the fight is over; people begin to respect one another after they've been in a tussle. Boundaries get established, and very often, friendships bloom and a deeper understanding is achieved. You don't think so? Ask every man in your life if this isn't true; Men who hate each other can often become friends-for-life after they've tried to beat the shit out of one another. It's a rule in barrooms, you know.

I'd like to be very friendly with people like Mr. Yeager, and make a much greater effort to understand them. How about you?

What ObamaCare Really Means to You...

An oldie-but-goodie from Mark Steyn. You'd better read it.

All This for Only $4,000 A Night!

The five minute interviews are bad enough; attempting to avoid telling the truth about your addictions (and they ain't limited to "sex", are they?) by denying anyone the opportunity to ask those questions -- maybe because the truth would shatter whatever image and destroy whatever goodwill you might have left -- and to create some artificial "buzz" about your return to golf. It's torture watching this, not only because you know how this story eventually ends, but because there's someone under the impression that we give a shit about golf, and that scandal will make us care more.

I don't claim any special knowledge of Tiger's problems or personal life; I'm just sayin' I know a guy who has some secrets that he really, really, REALLY wants to keep hidden, when I see one. His secrets, however, are going to destroy him if he doesn't get his ass off TV. $4,000 a night porn star/hookers are the least of his issues.

We're witnessing the destruction of an individual in the media, minute-by-minute, and the worst part is that he's helping them. In fact, he can't help but help them. Tiger Woods is the media's creation, so I guess they have that "right" to tear him apart -- or more likely what's happening, they're helping him tear himself apart. That sometimes happens with people who have done bad things; they have to punish themselves in the worst and most public ways, and are often unaware of how they do it. The two, Media and Woods, are symbiotically-linked. Tiger can no more go without the media, even a media asking questions that he refuses to answer, than the media can go without setting fire to their own creations. He is, in effect, committing suicide in public with the very tool that made him a public figure.

It's how the game gets played.

I'm now feeling bad for Tiger Woods. I can't condone his adultery, nor the cowardly retreat to a "sex addiction" clinic -- which is complete and utter bullshit. There's no such thing as "sex addiction"; men would screw 24-7 if they had the opportunity and the means -- stopping only for Buffalo Wings, the Super Bowl and other urgent bodily functions. And even at that, if it wasn't considered bad form to pinch a loaf while you're making the Beast With Two Backs, many would probably not even stop for that. We're baboons, you know. We're biologically-wired to fuck everything that moves or makes itself available. So, the idea that there's "sex addicts" out there is a false one; every human being is a sex addict, in the strictest, biological sense. There'd be no human race, otherwise.

What many of the people who mental-health "professionals" call "Sex Addicts" are , are usually the victims of severe sexual abuse; they can't separate acceptance by others, or certain activities and events, from the sexual act because of some trauma related to that abuse.

Tiger Woods is no "Sex-Addict"-- he's just a super-rich guy who decided to take advantage of everything his vast fortune could buy him, which is NEVER a good thing. He's no victim. He's maybe also suffering with a few other, real addictions in the bargain (probably booze, and maybe even prescription drugs, but that's speculation on my part). Fame and money often combine to make people a) stupid, and b) weak enough to give into their worst impulses.

You know how I can figure this out? We go from $4,000 a night porn stars all the way down to the Night Shift Waitress at the Waffle House. We're not even talking consistency, here. There's no pattern, no logic, no reason. We're talking pure opportunism, and no means of restraining the impulse; a clear sign of drug and/or alcohol abuse. In the current climate of sports scandals, Tiger Woods the Drug Abuser is far worse than Tiger Woods the Adulterer. That's the story his "handlers" want you to focus on, because the other one utterly destroys their client.

Tiger, of course, maintains that we should just forgive him (not that I care, really. I only write about this because it's funny as hell and because I'm pathologically-wired to stand there and point) and let him go about his business. I think the man has every right to go about earning his living, but I don't think he has the right to do it without having to answer the questions he's been dodging so clumsily. He's made his cash on the back of an adoring public, and he has a responsibility to them.

Because Tiger Woods was sold to America as a paragon of virtue, a true family man, a shining example to the black comm-uuunnn-it-taaaaay. We were told that no black people ever played golf before Tiger did, EVER, and that he was he was a "true pioneer". A shining example of what skill, determination and character coming together can do to produce the consummate professional, and the very example of what those virtues could bring you, wealth and fame, a Beautiful wife and adorable children. That's when he wasn't portrayed as a steely assassin on the greens, a monomaniac with a driver, who's focus was "legendary", a deadly opponent in the rough-and-tumble world of competitive pastimes, and a man who was on his way to becoming the Greatest Golfer, Ever. Tiger the Athlete is all marketing. The Greatest Golfer Ever...what the hell does that mean?

Greatest Golfer Ever is a distinction on par (if you'll pardon the pun) with being the Greatest Croquette Player, or the Greatest Race Walker, or the Greatest Yachtsman of All Time. No one really gives a shit, except fat, rich white guys who believe that any form of mild physical exertion that they engage in should automatically be considered a "sport". It's not a sport if you wear slacks, ride in a motorized cart, and have another guy to carry your equipment for you. That's not athletic at all. The funniest part of this scam is that those rich white guys buy golf clubs like democrats buy votes, and Tiger was the Hank Aaron of Golf, --so he made a lot of people a lot of money, with a hefty cut for himself.

I guess Tiger might be desperate to strike while the iron is still somewhat-warm, to keep his cut if he can, before all of his bullshit is finally made public. To get that one last score before that public image is finally gone forever, and on some level, to convince himself that his former life can be reclaimed, whole or in part. It's sad, because the man needs help. I think he has more problems than we know about. You can see it in his face, and he's now in the "denial" stage where he believes that he really has a good grip on his issues and can just go about life. Except that he really doesn't and isn't aware of it. We should all just leave him alone and forget this ever happened and all move forward now, he says. Except he's moving forward too soon (they almost always do). The cameras, the media, the notoriety are just another aspect of his overall addiction -- he can't do without it, all the while protesting the "intrusions" into his personal life.
He doth protest too much; he wants it every bit as much as the heroin addict wants the spike.

Tiger, take a powder, Dude. Get help and get better, because this doesn't look likely to end very well.

And Blago Might Be Going to Jail for What, Exactly?

Compared to these guys in the NY State Senate, not to mention Washington, D.C. Blago is a fucking Boy Scout. Now, I have no sympathy for Public Union Bosses, a form of life on par with pond scum, and anything that takes 50k of probably stolen-from-the-taxpayer funds from them is all well-and fine in my book. But if this Senator Klein had a vowel at the end of his name, you just know there'd be a Federal Prosecutor somewhere with an erection and the urge to scream"RICO Predicate! RICO Predicate!" and the way to the courthouse.

This sort of thing happens in Albany constantly, and guess which political party has dominated that city and political culture for a very long time? I'll give you a hint; they still think Bill Clinton is innocent.

Labor has been in bed with the democratic party forever, so I guess Klein was doing what any good whore does and making certain the customer knows the price before he gets screwed. These Union Bosses should have known better (because crime is a way of life for most of them), but like crack addicts, they're addicted to a lifestyle that involves corruption, connivance, and now open bribery, of public officials. Why, it's so open now that politicians no longer wait for them to be offered, but instead solicit them openly and unabashedly! How else did you think that clerk at the DMV -- the one who needed four tries to pass the GED, who always seems to go on her third break of the hour just as it's your turn to conduct business, and perhaps shuffles papers for three hours a day, and earns 80K a year -- got that sweet job? The "Public" Unions own this state; they've bought it lock, stock and barrel, and the democratic party banked the sale price in terms of campaign contributions and "volunteers" on Election Day.

The price has now gone up. Now you need 50k just to buy the opportunity to be ass-raped for a campaign contribution and election-day "volunteers". Unless you only want the equivalent of a political handjob...which will still cost you $25,000. It all depends on how much you've got and how dirty you want to get.

I love this quote:

"This is 'pay to play' run amok," said a longtime Democratic activist. "In the current climate of Albany as an ethical cesspool, how could they be so blatant?"

In another time and place, it was once called the Audacity of Hope. Perhaps Albany takes it's queues from the big boys and girls in Sodom-on-the-Potomac? With such fine and upstanding examples of civic-minded paragons like Charlie Rangel Louise Slaughter and Chuckie Schumer to emulate, how could the NY State Assembly possibly not learn that graft and corruption pays...and apparently very well.

And you wonder why nearly a decade after 9/11 there's still a giant crater in Lower Manhattan?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Reparations Is Paid...

Count on JammieWearingFool to put it all into perspective for us! In this post, he links to three videos in which the viewpoint of the typical Obama voter is laid bare; They voted for this guy to get "free" shit.

Take note of just who these people are. I'll give you three hints:

1. They belong to a certain minority community, which despite three generations of Civil Rights legislation, Affirmative Action, and a shitload of welfare and education set-asides and spending, still believes it's entitled to everything on someone else's dime, and that honest effort is either "Acting White" or for suckers.

2. Notice how clueless they are as to where the money comes from. They know how to spend it, of course, usually on crack, rims, gold-plated grillz or patent-leather sneakers, that's when they aren't making the difficult and heartbreaking choice between purchasing that hair extension or the baby's formula. If you ask them where they think money comes from, they either don't know, or shrug their shoulders and say "The Government" -- as if the government actually produces anything but crap, only at inflated Federal Union wages. I'd say something about money not growing on trees, but then I'd be accused of making racist comments and comparing these folks to certain tree-climbing primates. Next thing you know, some idiot who has appointed himself a "Civil Rights Leader" or "Community Activist" will be picketing in front of my home. And perhaps getting himself shot in the process.

Gee, I hope it's a prominent self-appointed idiot...I could use another Federal Holiday.

3. Remember that THIS is what decades of "Ghetto Sub-Culture" has produced. While white liberals were making the (non-)point that "All cultures are valid...", this particular Sub-Culture was busy breeding legions of idiots, specially-trained to reflexively stick their hands out, who think they are entitled to something for nothing (I wonder just where they got that idea in the first place? Could it have been other White Liberals?).

November can't come soon enough. Right after ObamaCare gets repealed and defunded, maybe we could have another round of Welfare Reform? And then maybe we can return to the days when you had to pass a literacy test before being registered to vote, because after this particular sub-group of cretins is taken care of, there's another bunch right behind them speaking a particular foreign language who'll try the same crap.

News Flash: Diversity Training Makes People More Racist..

Well, DUUUUUH! You sit in a room for two days surrounded by Blacks, Latinos, Homosexuals, and Ugly Broads, all encouraged to have a go at Mr. White Heterosexual, free of consequence (after all, it's not likely he's going to get out of his chair and punch you in the mouth in front of a room full of witnesses, is it?), and see how would you feel?

I know how I felt. I would have shot everyone in the room just to ensure most of them didn't breed any further and pollute the planet with even more whiney, dickless little bedwetters. The biggest complainers are the blacks who arrive fifteen minutes late every day and leave a half-hour early, who can't write a memo in Standard English, and can't talk to each other from a distance of five feet without screaming at the tops of their lungs, crying about how they don't get promotions because of their color.

Then come the Ugly Broads, who complain loudly about Sexual Harassment. What they're really complaining about is how no one harasses them. And by God, if no one is playing Grab-Ass with Cindy the Landwhale, then no one should be allowed to play Grab-Ass with Sally Spermberper from the Temp Pool, either. The Nice-looking Chicks have no issue with Sexual Harassment, per se, until they don't want to date you anymore, or you didn't buy her something she wanted. One day, you're Making the Beast with Two Backs, the next day, you're walking the unemployment line and looking for a good attorney. You never hear a man complain of Sexual Harassment, even at the hands of an Ugly Broad. The only time you'll ever hear a man complain he's being Sexually Harassed is if another dude is the aggressor.

Rule of thumb: no matter what the temptaion, NEVER get sexually or emotionally involved with someone you have to work with.

The only real moments of comic relief, or at least a lessening of the tension in that sort of setting, comes from the Gay Men. Especially the one's who are under the impression that you haven't noticed just how Gay they were the last decade you've been working with them, and they take the opportunity afforded by Diversity Training to "come out" -- with the added benefit that they've now staked out their territory as a legally-protected minority in front of fifty witnesses. There's nothing funnier than a flamboyantly Gay Man who is genuinely shocked...shocked...that you already knew he was a Butt Pirate before he told you. Perhaps singing showtunes as you skipped through the office and the home-made baked goods, all the fishing for compliments about your shoes and haircut, the fact that you were the only man in the building with a manicure set in your desk, the oversized pen with the purple ostrich feather in it, this was you keeping a secret?

I've been through the wringer of Diversity Training. Sixteen hours over two days, no less. I walked out of that class thinking that most of humanity fell into the category of Disgusting Pile of Extraneous Genetic Material That Somehow Learned to Speak. I never hated anyone before. Afterwards, I hated everyone.

I'm of the mind that of you wanted to eliminate racism, you're better off a) dropping diversity classes, b) stop forcing integration of the races by government diktat, and c) stop reminding people of their differences.

We'll all be a lot happier, and the charlatans who run these Diversity Training scams would go broke, the courts would be empty and the lawyers all begging for pennies on the streets.

(H/T FiveFeetofFury)

Monday, March 22, 2010

We Need A New Orwell...

Thumbing through my George Orwell Anthology today, I found this newspaper column, entitled "As I Please 23", dated April 21, 1944. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Orwell, or didn't realize that he wrote anything other than Animal Farm or 1984, he once wrote a series of weekly newspaper articles in wartime (Second World War) Britain. In fact, Orwell earned a fairly decent living writing newspaper features and book reviews, as well as writing novels and short stories.

Anyways, Orwell is my favorite writer from this point of view; I'm an amateur historian, and in the pages of George Orwell we find vividly illustrated something which both amuses and perplexes historians of all stripes -- we find that all societies make the same mistakes, repeatedly, and that there very often is very little difference between the world of 1540 and today in many important ways, even if the two periods in question don't appear very similar at first glance. The basic human condition pretty much always remains the same, despite the advance of time and technology. George Orwell was, if nothing else, a great witness; he saw everything, he missed nothing, and he had the talent to put it on a piece of paper so that even the dullest could understand it.

Now, in this particular piece, Orwell is talking about something which we Americans would recognize as a major topic of conversation in our modern society; the trustworthiness and efficacy of the media. Now, what made this piece particularly interesting to me is the little bit where Orwell talks about British newsagents with slates and little pieces of chalk. It reminded me of today's media tug-of-war; who tells the truth better, and who is often more accurate, honest and more accepting of opposing points of view: The Professional Journalists, or the Guy in His Pajamas Writing In His Blog? I also find it interesting that while the media has advanced technologically -- Orwell is speaking of Radio and Print, and these days we have Radio, Print, Television and the Internet and it's demon spawn, Twitter, etc. -- the original question hasn't changed at all.

For those of you who know even less than Animal Farm or 1984 about Orwell, consider this: He was a Socialist. Try to put what Orwell has written in this piece into Barack Obama's mouth, and try to imagine whether or not it fits. Would a modern-leftist talk this way? Would He sound as reasonable? I imagine not.

I sometimes imagine that the United States would have been a much better place if George Orwell had been born here, or if he had decided to emigrate to the United States before his death. His political convictions and past (he fought in the Spanish Civil War for the Socialists) would have meant the McCarthyism of the times would have kept him from these shores, but damn if our political discourse, and our culture, wouldn't have been markedly different with a writer of his caliber working within it. Instead, we get "Professional Journalists" who wrote the same "George W. Bush is a doody-head" articles for a decade, even after he's out of office, and they manage to draw hefty paychecks for it, and still expect to be taken seriously.

Anyways, enjoy, and dream of a world with another Orwell in it. By the way, the link takes you to the specific article, but the page gives you all of Orwell's "As I Please" articles for the first half of 1944, I think.

What Happens Next?

Professor Hanson answers that question. Beware the deluge of official correspondence coming your way!

I'm betting that now that Illegal immigrants can get free heart-and-lung transplants and expensive AIDS drugs, the push will be for blanket Amnesty for Illegal Aliens.

I'm buying Rosetta Stone to brush up on my Spanish, and stocking up on canned goods and ammo.

This is What Happens When you a Join a Club that Includes Both the French and The Germans...

The European Union is doomed over the Fate of Greece. And naturally, the motivating factor is money. Everyone's friendly until there's money involved, aren't they? With Greece running deficits of 135% of GDP, the Germans have decided that bailing the country out is probably a bad investment. Better to let the IMF do it, and that means the United States, even if does basically destroy the Euro and make a mockery of a Common European Market.

Something like this was bound to happen, and by that I mean that the EU would eventually reveal itself to be a sham. It was never about European unity or collective security, or even about tariffs and labor; it has always been about the larger countries of Europe being able to shift the expense of their social burdens onto the smaller nations under the guise of a Common Market. Italian pensioners are being paid through the labor and taxation of Poles. Forty-year-old French retirees are receiving government-sponsored health care and maid service at the expense of Danish Farmers and Norwegian fishermen.

And now one of the member nations has finally done the unthinkable -- and forgotten it's place. Greece's place in the EU was to cover the cost of Italy, France and Germany's government debt, only the Grecian government ran up debt even faster than they did, and so the whole house of cards comes crashing down.

Good riddance.

And now that the Germans have signalled a return to sanity and have decided to follow their own national interest, perhaps the rest of Europe can now begin doing something it has urgently needed to do for many years and start re-arming; partly because anytime Germany flexes it's muscle in Europe it means war (eventually), and partly as economic "stimulus". But mostly because with the veneer of "Collective Security" that European Union once promised (but never delivered) finally gone, the Europeans will finally realize that they will have to defend themselves and finally take care of their own problems -- like a resurgent Russia, Angry Islamic Hordes within their borders, Yugoslavia, and a possible Islamic nuke.

Because the United States can no longer defend Europe, nor act as the buffer that keeps Europeans from killing each other. Barack Obama just made sure we'll be too broke to do so because we have to pay the medical bills of those who are irresponsible and the lazy. We're about to resemble Greece ourselves, the only question is how quickly we manage to get there. Expecting the IMF (which is basically the Bank of Last Resort, and backed by American Money which is now in ever-shorter supply) to bail Greece out is probably a non-starter, as well.

You can look forward to a beginning of the unravelling of the social fabric of Europe, one thread at a time.

The ultimate lesson of European collapse, of course, will be missed entirely by American Leftists, as it their wont.

Well, His Middle Name IS Hussein...

There's Nothing More Disgusting Than...

...Listening to Nancy Pelosi quote Thomas Jefferson, and get the context so incredibly wrong as to make your head spin. Jefferson was a thinker and a patriot, while Nancy Pelosi is an unreformed, troglodytic communist. One is worthy of praise and respect, the other should be torn to pieces by rabid dogs on Pay-per-View.

....Watching Barack Obama take a victory lap for something he didn't even do. It's become known as ObamaCare, but the monstrosity that was passed last night was the creation of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and several hundred lobbyists. Once again, Barack Obama takes credit for other peoples work -- a habit that decades of Affirmative Action have probably instilled in him as the right and proper thing to do.

...Seeing the smug look on Al Sharpton's face. Sharpton and his ilk supported ObamaCare because it was simply one more "program" which will put some brothas and sistahs to what appears to be work in government service, where they'll never be evaluated according to the their actual skills and talent, nor ever expected to actually produce anything of value. In the meantime, a few more of the recipient classes will survive cancer at Whitey's expense (Reparations), and billions in Taxpayer dollars will be showered (and wasted) upon the Inner Cities in the name of "Health" "Care", where the greatest health problems are gang-related gunshot wounds, drug addiction, domestic violence, out-of-control bastardy and malt liquor. If there's ever a provisions herein the government can force someone to undergo a painful and experimental treatment, I nominate the "Reverend" for it.

...Than watching the "democratic leadership" of the House of Representatives, including the token minorities, parade before the cameras, each taking a bow for helping to bring the demise of the United States of America, and Capitalism, one step closer. They should congratulate themselves in this sense: from now on, as long as any vestige of this piece of shit manages to survive, no political argument in this country will ever again be fought on the basis of right-of-center political theory. In five years, the great mass of the American public (the 50% who don't pay taxes) will come to "depend" upon this program, and it'll become part of the furniture, like Social Security and Medicare.

...Waking up in a country in which those who contribute nothing to society save crime, sloth, disease, destruction of the cities and schools, who are an economic millstone tied around the necks of the productive classes, who do not pay taxes, do not produce any useful goods or services, and who create nothing of any value whatsoever, are given far more attention, and afforded noble and protected status, by a body of self-interested little parasites with titles liek Senator or Congressman.

...The Narrative, which began five seconds after the "Historic Vote" of Obama as Lazarus, or the Phoenix Rising from the Ashes, of the all-knowing, all-powerful Great Leader who orchestrated the Greatest Thing Ever. If there's anything one can take solace from in this Morning of Mourning, it is that if there were anyone left who still believed in the ideal of an impartial press, it has been shattered completely and utterly by the events of yesterday. The two year campaign to get you to love Big Brother came full-circle last night. If we're ever lining up people to shoot in this country (maybe as one of those medical reforms that'll save us that non-existant $1 trillion, you know), the Press should be the first ones to get the treatment. Keith Olbermann should be the first of the first.

...James Clyburn comparing ObamaCare to the Civil Rights Act. I'm up to here with the idea that everything in America is a matter of Civil Rights, especially when that idea is advanced by people who wouldn't know a Civil Right if one walked up to them and kicked them in the balls. I'm especially sick and tired of being lectured on Civil Rights by black men with no talent or intelligence who have gamed the system that the Civil Rights movement created for their own personal enrichment, continually fighting battles that have already been won, and keeping their own people in a state of infantile ignorance and savagery. The sooner the James Clyburns, Al Sharptons, Jesse Jacksons and so forth of this society are gone, the sooner Black Americans can join the rest of us in the 21st century. Sanctimonious, affirmative-action hypocrites can kiss my ass, Congressman.

If you're disgusted too, let me know what you think....

Douchebag of the Week (03/22/10): Bart Stupak...

Oh, to be Bart Stupak this morning! To awake to that familiar smell! Is it the honeysuckle below the bedroom window in bloom? Is it the fresh air of a crisp, new day?

It's probably gasoline, Congressman. There's probably some of them loopier Right-to-Lifers right outside your bedroom window right now who have branded you an Enemy of God. Some of them will just follow you around, a constant annoyance, others might actually try to harm you. They've done it before, you know; abortionists shot or beaten up, clinics bombed, that sort of thing. You might want to do something about beefing up your personal security.

Now, I'm not advocating any violence whatsoever against anyone (excepting, as always, Muslims -- because they're an existential threat to civilization), but it's really going to suck to be Bart Stupak this morning, and for many mornings to come. And it should.

Because the Michigan Democrat (that's redundant, isn't it?) played out a little drama before the American people, wherein for months he's pretended to be opposed to ObamaCare because of his concern for certain provisions which would fund Abortion with federal monies, and in the process he gained praise, notoriety, lots of face time with Greta Van Susteren, and probably not an inconsiderable sum of money that flowed into his campaign coffers from Pro-Life and Catholic groups, He was considered one of the few principled, trustworthy democrats left on Planet Earth because of his public stand.

But that was so obviously a charade, for Bart Stupak showed his true colors on national television last night. Stupak traded his opposition to Universal Band-Aids and Eyedrops for People Who Won't Pay for It, Ever for a worthless piece of paper signed by the less-than-trustworthy Barack Obama -- one that purports to uphold 30 years of federal law and not federally-fund birth-control-of-the-last-resort-for-the-deadbeat-classes -- which is about as valuable and as real as Monopoly Money. If it wasn't bad enough being so obviously tricked by Obama (and let's face it, it was such an obvious dupe that Stupak, in effect, took a dive. The Executive Order promise was nothing more than a phantom punch to makeit look real), Stupak then has the audacity to hypocritically stand up on the House Floor and repudiate everything he said he stood for, including the language he himself included in the bill, while attacking the Pro-Lifers of America who supported him, and patted him on the back.

Dante says there's a particular spot in Hell for the Hypocrites, Mr. Stupak (assuming there is a Hell). I find it rather unfortunate that there aren't even less-comfortable accommodations for you in the here-and-now. Your little public stage play should net you no less. Your "principled stand on behalf of the unborn" was little more than the equivalent of showing a little more leg until the John made a more acceptable offer.

But, before we get all carried away and accuse Mr. Stupak of being that gullible and self-interested, we should point out that his district will be getting a shitload of taxpayer money to upgrade three regional airports. That was Bart Stupak's Louisiana Purchase. He should consider himself lucky; he could have sold himself cheaper, like Dennis Kucinich, and just gotten a ride on Air Force One, and maybe one of those really neat AF1 placemats with the connect-the-dots, and the kiddie crossword puzzle on it.

Besides those airport projects, and the enmity of those committed to the cause of Life, Mr. Stupak can now sport at least one other badge. This one consists of three concentric circles drawn across his upper back. These serve both a figurative and literal purpose: Mr. Stupak is now a target this November. If the republicans can find someone able to walk and chew gum at the same time, Stupak is an electoral dead man. If he somehow manages to survive an electoral challenge, he'll have to watch his back for that Right-Wing-Domestic-Terrorist-Pro-Lifer sniper Janet Napolitano is always all freaked out about. Then, he'll have to deal with the passage of time, as every second of every day -- for the rest of his life -- his conscience (if he has one) weighs upon him and he'll curse himself for his stupidity, vanity and hypocrisy.

If we're lucky, Bart Stupak awakes this morning to realize what an absolute dick he's been, and never shows his face in the daylight again.

Congressman Bart Stupak, you are our Douchebag of the Week.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Fix Bayonets...

I'm sure Bart Stupak and His12 Apostates can pat themselves on the back tonight for pretending to be all principled and righteous, and then caving to Obama's worthless promise about an Executive Order to prevent Healthcare money ever, ever, ever paying for abortions -- which carries no weight in law.

I'm sure Dennis Kucinich, the Poison Dwarf, is rather proud of himself for having parlayed his charade of principled obstinacy into a really cool, if short, ride on Air Force One. Then again, when your wife is as hot as his, there's not really much left to bribe you with, is there?

All day long, we've been "just minutes away..." from having this "Historic Vote". It's now 10:20 pm, and we still haven't had a vote. Nancy Pelosi is now on television, lying through her teeth and talking incessantly, obviously stalling for even more time. There must be more arms to twist. She has a look on her face that just says "I really don't want to do this...". And all the crap about grown men crying because they're thinking they're going to get something for free is a bunch of bullshit.

As for John Boehner, your passion is a little late. Great speech, but where was that piss and vinegar for the last year? Nice move asking for the Roll to be called; it's obvious no one wants their name associated witha vote on camera. But we already knew the dimwits were cowards.

Our country is now under assault. Before it was just all theoretical; some of you had hoped that Barack Obama wasn't really the unreformed communist he so obviously was. Some had the funny idea that that Congress would be a steadying hand, restraining the inexperienced President and saving him from his worst impulses -- neglecting to realize that this Congress is led by perhaps the most reckless, obnoxious and dishonest people we've ever seen in politics. And many are even more radical than he is. The time for passive resistance is now over. The time for "Wait and See" has come and gone. It's now time to get up off your ass and do something before your life is controlled by a bureaucracy, your pockets are systematically emptied to pay for it, and you'll be expected to bow to Great Leader and thank him for the beneficence that will cost you your prosperity, and steal from your children to give to those who don't deserve it, and who never earned it.

Don't accept this without a fight. If you thought Gore v. Bush was a clear example that elections have consequences, then you'd better remember this one and vote accordingly when the time comes.

I can hardly wait for November. It's going to be a bloodbath...

It's the Strangest Thing...

...but recently, people from my past, many I have thought long gone, have been steadily creeping back into my life. Some have been welcome, and genuinely missed. A greater number insist on skulking on the electronic perimiter, making repeated requests to find my e-mail addresses, phone numbers and other personal information, and nothing with them.

A couple of you came here a time or two, as well.

A bevy of ex-girlfriends have been looking me up online. One even went so far as to hire a private service to conduct the search. Having once been an expert on computer systems and data collection and processing, I'm well aware of when someone starts making electronic enquiries into my life. Why this is happening now is quite puzzling, and since I'm not making much of an effort to respond to their efforts, I'm not very likely to ever find out. There's a reason you and I are not together anymore, Sunshine, and I can promise you that the majority of the times when You and I parted, it wasn't my idea. Now, in one case over 20-years after the fact, you're all looking for me?

Is it just idle curiosity? Is it regret? Is it just that you have too much free time on your hands? Are you dying and think you'll find some sympathy here? Do you want to gloat? Whatever it is, you'll not have whatever itches scratched by making half-hearted efforts; I know you're out there, and looking, so have some guts and finally say whatever it is you want to say. Otherwise, you're just doing the internet-equivalent of ringing my doorbell and then running away, which I find aggravating and rude.

Gee, I hope I'm not about to be presented with 17 paternity suits! I might have to pull an Edwards and start stealing dirty diapers.

So, to all the the Terries and the Beths, the Janettes, Joys, Jessicas and Jackies, from the Elizabeths to the Annies and Ailenes -- I see you! What is it that you want?

And no, that's not an exaggeration; that's just in the last two months. It's like as soon as they hit their 40's, all of them are suddenly wondering what became of me.

If you went this far, you might as well go all the way and finally write that e-mail you know you're really dying to send-- because I don't do "hints".

Also, because it's really rude to try to pry into someone's life and yet remain anonymous.

P.S. to all my female readers: Can someone please explain this phenomenon in a way that makes sense to a guy?

To Lady Gaga...

I get it. In fact, I got it back in the 1980's -- when in your previous lives you went by the names "Madonna", "Annie Lennox" and "Andy Warhol".

I forget which Greek or Roman philosopher said "There is nothing new under the Sun", but when it comes to this woman, never were truer words spoken.

I'll give you this much; she does have some talent -- for dancing, and in her use of the visual medium -- but there's not much after that. I mean, Techno Pop? Are there still drink-and-Ecstasy-addled Clubrat retards listening to that junk?

Why do I bring this up? Because I was forced to watch a Lady Gaga video today -- and it's not the first time. I think at some point the pain became so intense that my testicles retreated into my chest cavity, and my sphincter puckered hard enough to squeeze the subatomic slop out of an atom.

I'm certain some will disagree with me. Ask me if I care. All I know is that if I have to sit through something like that again, I might have to shoot someone.

More Bad Medicine...

Anyone who's followed this blog for a while knows I like to point out the ridiculous pharmaceutical ads that run on television these days. Mostly, it's because I object to the utter bullshit that they try to sell; that the solution to every problem is to be found in a new pill. But there are other reasons as well.

The main reason is that modern pharmacology seems to deliver medications which are heavy on side-effects, and often low on results. They very often warn of side-effects which might be worse than the malady the drug was designed to treat. Many patients who take these drugs then complain to their doctors about the side-effects, and the doctor will then write 'em a new prescription for yet another drug that deals with those side-effects. Some patients, either because their physicians don't give a damn -- or because they're crazy -- will end up taking multiple medications for what are usually minor maladies that could have been treated without medicines, or with older and more-effective, not to mention cheaper, alternative treatments.

There's also the tendency for these medications and commercials to be targeted to a specific demographic, which nowadays is the Baby Boomer. All of these meds promise the Boomers two things: first, they promise to be a convenient and painless solution to a problem that used to just be chalked up to "Getting Older". Second, is the false hope that these drugs are some sort of Fountain of Youth. The commercials typically depict older men and women in absolutely superb physical condition, engaging in very active lifestyles. The message is that, unlike previous generations, when the Baby Boomers retire they will do so in a Brave New World where they will be forever young, free of physical ill or complaint, and possessed of the ability and energy to screw all day long (because to the Hippie Generation, Eternal Youth can only be expressed or experienced in terms of sexual desire and potency).

These people (Baby Boomers) will be retiring soon, and in future, they'll want Medicare (or whatever destruction of the healthcare system Nancy Pelosi manages to pass) to pay for these drugs for as long as they can take them. They'll have the numbers in terms of votes to see them kept in Wonder Drugs forever, if we let them.

I usually write about these drugs one at a time, as I see them advertised, because I find the whole notion ridiculous. But this last week, I began an experiment in which I counted the number of TV ads I saw in one afternoon, and then I wrote some commentary on what they were trying to sell. You can read that here. People got so many laughs out of that one, that I'm doing it again. So, here's another list. Please note that not only are prescription drugs on this list, but so are some other "patent medicines" and even a food item being sold as medicine that are being heavily advertised!

1. Activia - this is a yogurt which includes several "active cultures", which from what I gather is Scientific Crapspeak for "additional molds, bacteria and fungi". It's purpose is to "regulate" your digestive system, which makes a certain amount of perverted sense -- after the fascination with your genitalia (See Cialis, Viagra) wears off, you should give your bowels the lovin' they deserve. Baby Boomers are now deathly afraid of their stoppered innards -- which is apropos, since most are full of shit, and at some point they might explode. The spokeswoman for Activia is Jamie Lee Curtis -- certainly the first person I think of every time I muse upon the problem of "irregularity". Why Jamie Lee finds it necessary to talk to us about our bowel movements from her couch (or maybe that's her doctor's office?) is beyond me. Maybe she should get a better interior decorator, because just seeing that room made me constipated. Activia costs about $1.25 a pot here in my neighborhood, which had me wondering if the anticipation of a really a good dump two weeks from now was worth $17 -- since you have to eat one a day for two weeks to get the desired results) . Here's the commercial for it, with some creative sound dubbing (but it wasn't me, I promise).

2. Advair - intended to treat people with COPD or asthma. On average, it costs: $186.00. Now, what makes Advair perhaps one of the more perplexing drugs on my list is this; it's supposed to help people with compromised respiratory systems breathe easier, but two of the major side-effects are -- Upper respiratory infections and unspecified "breathing problems"! Other major side effects include: menstrual irregularities, diarrhea, frequent nosebleeds, irregular or rapid heartbeats, osteoporosis, depression, cataracts and glaucoma. It seems that if you take Advair, you might suddenly become a candidate for anti-depressants or any medicine that Sally Field sells. Note the super-surgically-enhanced Baby Boomer Babe (definite cheek job, lip job, boob job and perhaps multiple face-lifts), and notice the part where they say that Advair contains anti-inflammatories, and then goes on to say "It's is not known how anti-inflammatories work in COPD" - a condition this med is being specifically advertised as treating!

3. Avodart - A treatment for enlarged prostate glands, which may be an early indication of prostate cancers...or just old fuckin' age. It costs about $150.00 for a 90-day supply. Avodart is one of those meds that are supposed to relieve the symptoms of enlarged prostate (frequent pissing, start-and-stop urinary flow)... but it does oh-so-much more. Why, take enough Avodart and you'll trade the comparatively-minor annoyance of not being able to piss properly for the following; impotence (Good thing there's Viagra, huh?), abnormal ejaculation (what was that about Viagra, again?), breast enlargement (which would probably be great on the Missus, but who the hell wants Moobs?), unexplained skin rashes (and you won't believe where!), birth defects, wheezing and difficulty breathing and swallowing. Yeah, I already can't pee straight, gimme a drug that'll make me unable to breathe properly, too. That'll work. You also shouldn't give blood for six months after taking it because it's probably deadlier than AIDS for a while, and you may find your liver shrinking and trying to escape your body of it's own accord. Note the ruggedly-handsome 50-60 something who is the focal point of the commercial and is intended to represent the Idealized Baby Boomer.

4. Colon Flow - this is not a medicine, but rather a collection of minerals, herbs and perhaps whatever cleaning products were in the cabinets below the kitchen sink. Colon Flow claims to be a "colon cleanser" -- which gives me visions of the old TV Scrubbing Bubbles running rampant in your intestines. It also claims to "clean your blood" and "unstress your colon", whatever the hell that means. The premise behind Colon Flow is that every time you fail to pinch a loaf, you're retaining 4.5 pounds of dead weight and toxic waste. If you fail to achieve a decent BM on consecutive days, that becomes 9 pounds of deadly poison for every day you don't drop a spike, and so on. I assume you can treble these numbers if you're a democrat. In any case, from what I've read about it online, Colon Flow is really a super-duper laxative being advertised as a "Colon Cleanser", and it seems aimed specifically at people who wish to lose weight long as they don't mind abdominal distention, muscle cramps, lots of gas, bloating, dehydration, irritated bowels, bloody stool, and light-to-moderate anal leakage. That's way too much fun for only $30.95 a bottle, I swear!!! Unfortunately, I could not find a TV commercial for Colon Flow on YouTube.

5. Lipitor - Now, this one I actually have some experience with. Unfortunately, it wasn't a good one, and my doctor very quickly switched me to Zocor. Lipitor is prescribed in order to lower out-of-control cholesterol levels, and it works by preventing your body from processing certain fats and proteins that the liver turns into cholesterol. Sometimes, as in my case, it works too well, and then everything you eat goes right through you like a bloody Ferrari -- no sooner do you eat it then it's on it's way out. Not even enough time to taste it. Lipitor costs $120.00 for a 90-day supply. The side-effects include: unspecified infections of unspecified sorts, Third-world-style diarrhea, influenza, yellow skin and eyes -- which indicate moderate to severe liver dysfunction -- muscular degeneration, hepatitis, urinary problems, impotence and intestinal ulcers. Compared to some of these side-effects, you're probably better off having that heart attack or stroke. The spokesman is the inventor of the artificial heart, which I guess is supposed to lend some sort of gravitas, but as of this date, approximately 800 people have survived an artificial heat transplant operation, and the combined number of years of extended life? 180. Do the math, and tell me if that return on investment warrants a super-expensive operation not covered by most insurance carriers -- and certainly not by Medicare or any future ObamaCare. By the way, of the (few) hospitals in the United States who perform Artificial Heart Transplants, not a single one will post information on how much the procedure costs.

6. Lunesta - Another sleeping pill. You can get up to 7 hours of sleep out of a single dose, you know, and this saves you the trouble of having to watch Letterman, I guess. Like it's counterpart Ambien, those who take Lunesta are known to take frequent Midnight Voyages --- which include driving, operating heavy machinery, splitting atoms or perhaps engaging in ungodly and unnatural activities with farm animals, while asleep. While this might qualify you for a Czar-level appointment int he Obama Administration, it's not a good thing for the rest of us. Possible side effects: aggressiveness, distorted sense of taste, confusion, hallucinations (hopefully you don't have these while you're driving in your sleep in the middle of the night!), tongue and throat swelling. Tongue and Throat swelling -- you've just taken a sleeping pill and you can choke to death on your own tongue, or suffocate because your throat closes?. Oh, and while Lunesta claims to be non-narcotic -- they also warn that you just might get hooked on it. Lunesta costs about $273.00 for 50 pills. Here's an older commercial with a real hot babe in it.

7. Propecia - originally developed to fight heart disease, one of it's major side-effects was that it grew hair. Scads of it. I'm not certain if all that hair-growing was on top of the head, but it wasn't long after this discovery that Propecia was being prescribed to treat Advanced Male Pattern Baldness -- or as we people with lovely, naturally-full heads of thick and wavy hair like to call it Chrome Dome Syndrome. By the way, Propecia is for use by men only. Why? Because it's so toxic that the manufacturer advises that pregnant women avoid handling broken tablets. In fact -- from what I've read -- it's more like they recommend that pregnant women not even be in the SAME STATE as Propecia, because there's a chance the drug may cause a specific genital deformity in male offspring. I guess Daddy's hair is more important than Junior's gonads. When you start talking genital deformities we're definitely not cool. Other side effects you can look forward to: inability to get an erection (but hey, there's Viagra for that, right?), loss of interest in sex (assuming you can manage an erection) -- and assuming you can overcome these two hurdles and actually manage the deed -- you might be shooting blanks. We won't even mention what it'll do to your prostate (why is it that once you reach a certain age, everything eventually affects your prostate?) By the way, the best you can hope for is that your bald spots get smaller -- not filled in with thick, lush and luxuriant hair. Propecia costs about $160.00 for a 90-day supply, but hey, assuming you can camouflage those embarrassing bald spots without going sterile or inflicting horrible birth defects upon your male progeny, it's all worth it for the hot babes you'll be picking up with only slightly more hair, right?

Unfortunately, there was no recent commercial for Propecia available on YouTube.

8. Vagifem - Now, I have to admit -- I wasn't actually looking for this one and even talking about it makes me uncomfortable -- but it sort of found me. Honestly, I wasn't reading that women's magazine over that lady's shoulder on the bus! But it was there, and the man in me couldn't help but zero in on the words; Vaginal Dryness -- or as I like to refer to it now, Atrophic Vaginitis (it's amazing what you learn when you read!). Vagifem is a hormone-replacement drug that feeds estrogen into the systems of post-menopausal women, because, let's face it: it really sucks when the men have all this medicine to pump up their junk, and you can't join in the fun because your equipment is drier than a week-old piece of unbuttered toast in the Sahara. No wonder men chase the younger girls! This stuff costs: $115.00. The side effects, though, are whoppers, and include: possible uterine cancer, frequent yeast infections, bloody urine and bronchitis, all of which is certain to make you exceedingly attractive to men everywhere with your newly-irrigated snatch! There is no television ad to post, but here's the website.

Now, I'm not down on modern pharmacology; I've certainly benefited from it, and so do millions of others. But when you stop to consider what many of these drugs do, you have to start to wonder why anyone takes them and bears the expense -- particularly when most of these maladies are all about often-marginal improvements to the quality of life, rather than to the treatment of disease, and can do far more damage than the original malady.