New Usama Tape...My Translation....
O! Muslim brothers and sisters, resist the temptation of Western culture, which will bring you air conditioning, open-heart surgery and yummy snacks with real creme filling!
Defend your backwards way of life and sixth-century social order that would make the infidel communists green with envy from the scourge of Britney Spear's belly button and the curse of liberal democracy, which is an affront to Allah!
The infidel Americans and their Zionist lackeys want to take away your God-given right to murder indiscriminately in the name of Allah, peace be unto his prophet Muhammed! They wish to destroy my ability to ramble incoherently from a cave somewhere in the cesspool of Ashcanistan, so that you may be given the false words of logical political discourse and the ability to earn a living comparable to that to be found in the heathen sewers of Canada.
Yea, and the accursed invaders further wish to indoctrinate you in the evil ways of equality, the despicable practices of civil discourse, and bring to you law and respect for the individual whuch God himself has told us is not the natural order of things! Beware, brothers and sisters, that you are not seduced by the promise of Kenmore appliances and Chevrolets, tempted by the ability to fill your bellies with nutritious food without back-breaking physical labor and the shadow of corruption brought to you by 520 channels of sattelite television!
Be true to jihad! Continue the struggle as you bomb Israeli schoolbusses with TNT boxer shorts! Continue the fight against the heathen scum as you inflict gnat bites against the elephant with Fiats stuffed full of explosives! Continue to insist on your God-given right to be subjugated by obnoxious, pretentious, malignant dwarves who owe their power and wealth to the Western Nations (myself excluded, of course)!
Defend the Holy Sh*tholes of Mecca and Medina from those that would build Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm upon them! Continue to insist that we respect all Peoples of the Book until we can get the opportunity to machine gun daycare centers full of them when no one is looking! Continue to insist that we, the Muslim people, are a peaceful, forward-looking folk who wish only for peace in the world and the brotherhood of men. Reinforce the notion that women are to be wrapped up in burlap and treated as cattle!
Fight for your God-given right to fornicate with hump-backed quadrupeds!
Message for the children: Are Mommy and Daddy sleeping? Good. Sneak into their bedroom and get Daddy's wallet from his pants pocket. Take all the green paper out of it and mail it to this address:
Usama
Northwest Frontier
6th cave past the burned-out Toyota
Afganistan
Monday, January 05, 2004
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Some People Just don't Get it...
Read this: http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig4/latulippe3.html
And then read this:
Ho-hum, yet ANOTHER attempt to put political spin upon the LOTR....
Well, as I've always said, this is the kind of story you could wrap around whatever polemic is in the fevered imagination. Is it allegory --- the modern (WWI and WWII) world Tolkien found himself in magically transported to Middle Earth? Is it Icelandic saga, with heroic men facing a dangerous world with the hopes of creating something akin to paradise? Is it historical/mythological amalgam --- Aragorn as Charlemagne, Frodo as Percival, Gandalf as Merlin, Saruman as Mussolini, Sauron as Hitler/Stalin/Mao/Pol Pot, etc.? Or is it a lament for the England that once was --- pastoral and threatened by polluting industry and overbearing, socialist government (ala Orwell)? Is it Catholic dogma transferred to a fantasy setting --- the continuing struggle between good and evil, temptation and faith, redemption in the name of a greater power? Even Gollum, in the end, can be considered a martyr to the cause.
The point is that there is so much going on in this tale, that one could make anything one wanted to out of it. However, to somehow link a really good story to American foreign policy is a stretch, at best, even if the arguments do in fact, make some kind of sense.
First problem I have with this analysis is that the author sounds as if he believes that there is a cabal of "elites" (their political affiliation, for these purposes, means nothing), sitting around in smoky back rooms, figuring out how to "mobilize the mob" to their advantage or, at least, to fufill their whims. Horsebagels. Yes, we do live in an age where public opinion is malleable because of the media, but the author seems to be implying that there is some sort of conspiracy afoot. If we follwed this chain of logic then you have to believe any or all of the following:
- George Bush ran for President precisely to instigate a war (to atone for Daddy's sins).
- 9/11 was a rational response by a rational people to a clear and present danger (defined as Western culture threatening the Islamic order) and America (or the West in general) was to blame for it. In that sense, we got off cheap with 3,000 dead in New York and should be sufficiently chastized. We should apologize for being "insensitive" or "ignorant" (when we have no clear idea of just how we offended in the first place), take our just desserts and promise to sin no more.
- That a country that has the capability to wipe the Middle East off the map in nuclear holocaust, but doesn't, must somehow be morally inferior to people who believe killing innocents at work, at pizzerias or on public transport is legitimate political discourse.
- That the story itself might have had such an effect on said "elites" that they have psychotically transported themselves into it (Rumsfeld as Gandalf, Bush as Aragorn, Colin Powell as Frodo), and are acting it out. Sort of how college students used to play Dungeons and Dragons, for real.
- That Americans actually know or even care so much about the rest of the world that we're willing to send our sons and daughters overseas so that we might kill people and steal their land, resources, etc. In that case, we didn't need a 9/11 as an excuse, did we? I'm sure 9.5 out of 10 adults in this country couldn't find Iraq, Afghanistan, or maybe even Canada or Germany, on a map.
According to this author, we have a bunch of loony elites, influenced by a fantasy story organizing and running a conspiracy to enslave the world in the name of republican democracy? If I have to point it out, in Middle Earth, Saruman would not allow anti-war protests. Boromir would not sport a "No Blood for Oil" T-shirt, Arwen would not carry a sign declaring "Hands off of My Bush", Eowyn would be home barefoot and pregnant, wrapped in a burqa in Afghanistan, and Hobbits (in general) hadn't even a clue as to what was transpiring in the world at large. Until it directly affected them Then it took a few brave, informed ones to realize a danger which threatened them all and to take measures to prevent it.
If you're trying to make sense of what happened to this country, and how we're reacting to it, let me try to explain my point of view:
A bunch of nasty, crazy, desperate, degenerates, steeped in 7th century ideology, laboring under a religious system that would make a committed communist green with envy, and with nothing approaching a free market (economically or intellectually) have decided that since they are incapable of solving their own problems, that someone else must be responsible and held accountable. In psychology, we call this transferrance.
You may not agree with a "War on Terror" or even agree with where it takes us, but does that mean we have to invent conspiracy theories or attribute Caesar-like motives to people in order to explain it all?
Read this: http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig4/latulippe3.html
And then read this:
Ho-hum, yet ANOTHER attempt to put political spin upon the LOTR....
Well, as I've always said, this is the kind of story you could wrap around whatever polemic is in the fevered imagination. Is it allegory --- the modern (WWI and WWII) world Tolkien found himself in magically transported to Middle Earth? Is it Icelandic saga, with heroic men facing a dangerous world with the hopes of creating something akin to paradise? Is it historical/mythological amalgam --- Aragorn as Charlemagne, Frodo as Percival, Gandalf as Merlin, Saruman as Mussolini, Sauron as Hitler/Stalin/Mao/Pol Pot, etc.? Or is it a lament for the England that once was --- pastoral and threatened by polluting industry and overbearing, socialist government (ala Orwell)? Is it Catholic dogma transferred to a fantasy setting --- the continuing struggle between good and evil, temptation and faith, redemption in the name of a greater power? Even Gollum, in the end, can be considered a martyr to the cause.
The point is that there is so much going on in this tale, that one could make anything one wanted to out of it. However, to somehow link a really good story to American foreign policy is a stretch, at best, even if the arguments do in fact, make some kind of sense.
First problem I have with this analysis is that the author sounds as if he believes that there is a cabal of "elites" (their political affiliation, for these purposes, means nothing), sitting around in smoky back rooms, figuring out how to "mobilize the mob" to their advantage or, at least, to fufill their whims. Horsebagels. Yes, we do live in an age where public opinion is malleable because of the media, but the author seems to be implying that there is some sort of conspiracy afoot. If we follwed this chain of logic then you have to believe any or all of the following:
- George Bush ran for President precisely to instigate a war (to atone for Daddy's sins).
- 9/11 was a rational response by a rational people to a clear and present danger (defined as Western culture threatening the Islamic order) and America (or the West in general) was to blame for it. In that sense, we got off cheap with 3,000 dead in New York and should be sufficiently chastized. We should apologize for being "insensitive" or "ignorant" (when we have no clear idea of just how we offended in the first place), take our just desserts and promise to sin no more.
- That a country that has the capability to wipe the Middle East off the map in nuclear holocaust, but doesn't, must somehow be morally inferior to people who believe killing innocents at work, at pizzerias or on public transport is legitimate political discourse.
- That the story itself might have had such an effect on said "elites" that they have psychotically transported themselves into it (Rumsfeld as Gandalf, Bush as Aragorn, Colin Powell as Frodo), and are acting it out. Sort of how college students used to play Dungeons and Dragons, for real.
- That Americans actually know or even care so much about the rest of the world that we're willing to send our sons and daughters overseas so that we might kill people and steal their land, resources, etc. In that case, we didn't need a 9/11 as an excuse, did we? I'm sure 9.5 out of 10 adults in this country couldn't find Iraq, Afghanistan, or maybe even Canada or Germany, on a map.
According to this author, we have a bunch of loony elites, influenced by a fantasy story organizing and running a conspiracy to enslave the world in the name of republican democracy? If I have to point it out, in Middle Earth, Saruman would not allow anti-war protests. Boromir would not sport a "No Blood for Oil" T-shirt, Arwen would not carry a sign declaring "Hands off of My Bush", Eowyn would be home barefoot and pregnant, wrapped in a burqa in Afghanistan, and Hobbits (in general) hadn't even a clue as to what was transpiring in the world at large. Until it directly affected them Then it took a few brave, informed ones to realize a danger which threatened them all and to take measures to prevent it.
If you're trying to make sense of what happened to this country, and how we're reacting to it, let me try to explain my point of view:
A bunch of nasty, crazy, desperate, degenerates, steeped in 7th century ideology, laboring under a religious system that would make a committed communist green with envy, and with nothing approaching a free market (economically or intellectually) have decided that since they are incapable of solving their own problems, that someone else must be responsible and held accountable. In psychology, we call this transferrance.
You may not agree with a "War on Terror" or even agree with where it takes us, but does that mean we have to invent conspiracy theories or attribute Caesar-like motives to people in order to explain it all?
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Assholes are where ya find 'em...
Got into an interesting online "argument" with a gentleman from New Orleans. He was bragging on how Mardi Gras is such a heck of a party and how everyone should make time to go at least once in their lives. As if New Orleans was Jerusalem or Mecca and pilgrimage should be mandatory. I told him that I live in New York, and if I want to see 20,000 naked drunks roaming the street all I would have to do is go to Times Square on New Year's Eve and get my fill. Or maybe if they ever have a free beer day at Yankee stadium.
The gentleman conveyed his regrets that I live in such a rotten place as New York City (and to a certain extent, I agree with him), but then he went too far; he claimed that New York was full of assholes, to which I replied, "we're okay, it's the rest of ya that are assholes."
The other Southerners in the chat room took it as a personal assault, but let me clarify my position for you a bit. New Yorkers would not:
1. Smash fuel-laden aircraft into office towers.
2. Fly across the country to visit the smoking ruins with six tons of camera equipment, a camcorder and his wife and kids in tow.
3. While burdened with said wife and kids, ask for directions to said smoking ruins from traumatized citizens because he cannot read a map, spot a plume of smoke and follow it, or find a 19 acre hole in the ground without expert advice.
4. Try answering some moron from Inbred-Hillbilly, South Carolina's request for said directions three to five times a day (on average).
5. New Yorkers know enough not to walk without looking in front of you to see where you're going. You can spot a tourist a mile away around these parts; she's the one with her neck lifted so high that there is a straight line from chin to throat. These people usually get run over by by busy New Yorkers on the pavement because they happen to be in the way. For this, we're considered rude.
6. New Yorkers can actually give directions without references to number of lamp posts, mailboxes, shopping centers and bowling alleys to found along the way.
7. REAL New Yorkers do not live in Manhattan. Only the pretentious ones do. We work and occasionally party in Manhattan and we know that is not the city as a whole.
8. New Yorkers do not have to give the name of their city when someone asks "Where are you from?" Upstaters regularly append the name of their city (as in "I'm from Buffalo, New York) so as not to be tarnished by the assumption that they are from "the city". Outsiders and tourists will proudly do the same, assuming that New Yorkers a) can find the place their talking about and b) actually care.
9. We know how to drive. We do not make right turns from the left lane (New Jersey drivers are famous for this), require jughandles, straddle lanes (Massachusetts drivers, aka Massholes), tailgate, try to jump speed bumps, we can drive in snow, know how to use directional signals and never back up on expressways because we missed our exit.
10. Know how to leave people alone. It's a survival technique around here.
11. We can never figure out how in a city where avenues run north-south and streets east-west, how anyone can get lost.
12. Do not believe everything we see on television as indicative of how things actually work around here.
13. We know the New York Times is full of shit.
14. Can navigate a subway system. How hard can it be when all the trains run on TRACKS? Not like they're making turns crosstown or something.
15. Can handle a cab driver that doesn't speak English because most of us don't either.
16. We know the difference between the "You've got to be kidding me" stare and the "Get lost before I kick your ass" stare.
17. Never fall for the "Beware of Pickpockets" sign trick.
18. New Yorkers know that when a menu says "Eggs, bacon, toast and juice" that we cannot switch the bacon for sausage. That's a different menu item filed under "Eggs, sausage, toast and juice". Just because bacon is cheaper doesn't mean you can order the sausage at the bacon price.
19. New Yorkers can cross a street without a crossing guard, or running for their lives, even against a light.
20. New Yorkers NEVER attempt to pet stray dogs, feed squirrels or pigeons and are used to seeing rats the size of small beavers just about everywhere they go.
For all of the bad things about New York, it's still a great place to be. We just wish the rest of you wouldn't pollute it with naivete and then call us assholes.
We have our share of them, for sure, but yours are prize winners.
4.
Got into an interesting online "argument" with a gentleman from New Orleans. He was bragging on how Mardi Gras is such a heck of a party and how everyone should make time to go at least once in their lives. As if New Orleans was Jerusalem or Mecca and pilgrimage should be mandatory. I told him that I live in New York, and if I want to see 20,000 naked drunks roaming the street all I would have to do is go to Times Square on New Year's Eve and get my fill. Or maybe if they ever have a free beer day at Yankee stadium.
The gentleman conveyed his regrets that I live in such a rotten place as New York City (and to a certain extent, I agree with him), but then he went too far; he claimed that New York was full of assholes, to which I replied, "we're okay, it's the rest of ya that are assholes."
The other Southerners in the chat room took it as a personal assault, but let me clarify my position for you a bit. New Yorkers would not:
1. Smash fuel-laden aircraft into office towers.
2. Fly across the country to visit the smoking ruins with six tons of camera equipment, a camcorder and his wife and kids in tow.
3. While burdened with said wife and kids, ask for directions to said smoking ruins from traumatized citizens because he cannot read a map, spot a plume of smoke and follow it, or find a 19 acre hole in the ground without expert advice.
4. Try answering some moron from Inbred-Hillbilly, South Carolina's request for said directions three to five times a day (on average).
5. New Yorkers know enough not to walk without looking in front of you to see where you're going. You can spot a tourist a mile away around these parts; she's the one with her neck lifted so high that there is a straight line from chin to throat. These people usually get run over by by busy New Yorkers on the pavement because they happen to be in the way. For this, we're considered rude.
6. New Yorkers can actually give directions without references to number of lamp posts, mailboxes, shopping centers and bowling alleys to found along the way.
7. REAL New Yorkers do not live in Manhattan. Only the pretentious ones do. We work and occasionally party in Manhattan and we know that is not the city as a whole.
8. New Yorkers do not have to give the name of their city when someone asks "Where are you from?" Upstaters regularly append the name of their city (as in "I'm from Buffalo, New York) so as not to be tarnished by the assumption that they are from "the city". Outsiders and tourists will proudly do the same, assuming that New Yorkers a) can find the place their talking about and b) actually care.
9. We know how to drive. We do not make right turns from the left lane (New Jersey drivers are famous for this), require jughandles, straddle lanes (Massachusetts drivers, aka Massholes), tailgate, try to jump speed bumps, we can drive in snow, know how to use directional signals and never back up on expressways because we missed our exit.
10. Know how to leave people alone. It's a survival technique around here.
11. We can never figure out how in a city where avenues run north-south and streets east-west, how anyone can get lost.
12. Do not believe everything we see on television as indicative of how things actually work around here.
13. We know the New York Times is full of shit.
14. Can navigate a subway system. How hard can it be when all the trains run on TRACKS? Not like they're making turns crosstown or something.
15. Can handle a cab driver that doesn't speak English because most of us don't either.
16. We know the difference between the "You've got to be kidding me" stare and the "Get lost before I kick your ass" stare.
17. Never fall for the "Beware of Pickpockets" sign trick.
18. New Yorkers know that when a menu says "Eggs, bacon, toast and juice" that we cannot switch the bacon for sausage. That's a different menu item filed under "Eggs, sausage, toast and juice". Just because bacon is cheaper doesn't mean you can order the sausage at the bacon price.
19. New Yorkers can cross a street without a crossing guard, or running for their lives, even against a light.
20. New Yorkers NEVER attempt to pet stray dogs, feed squirrels or pigeons and are used to seeing rats the size of small beavers just about everywhere they go.
For all of the bad things about New York, it's still a great place to be. We just wish the rest of you wouldn't pollute it with naivete and then call us assholes.
We have our share of them, for sure, but yours are prize winners.
4.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
A Note of Caution this Holiday Season
In addition to all the usual nonsense sprayed across our television screens at this time of year (toy commercials, jewelry commercials, the fufilment of Everyman's Dream if only his Missus would get him that cute, little backhair remover thingy), we have been graced by the pugnacious face of Tom Ridge, Homeland Security Secretary. Mr. Ridge, as his title would suggest, has several advisories relating to Homeland Security.
It seems that terrorists will/might/are capable of/possibly will/bet-ya-they-could/are-planning/might-plan/have the idea to/are actively working towards new attacks, preferably in New York, Los Angeles, and East Buttfuck, Wyoming this holiday season. Fine. Let them try --- I have confidence in local law enforcement (although not in Airport Security). I have pretty much come to grips with the fact that because we are an open, free society, we will not be locking up or shooting everyone of Muslim persuasion that enters or resides in the country, and I appreciate Mr. Ridge taking his job seriously enough (or covering his ass enough) to warn the public when he gets some hot poop on would-be suicide bombers. The problem I have in this regard is the media.
According to the flapping rectums on the news, we're all but fucked this week. After all, we captured Saddam (and the other side wants revenge), the government still has not sorted out all aspects of security (it's a goddamn bureacracy, for the love of God, slowness in and sloppiness are to be expected), but do we need to hear this 24/7? Periodic warnings (surprisingly enough, some of us are still too stupid to have taken the lessons of 9/11 to heart. They will prbably vote for Howard Dean) are fine. Bombarding people with the THREAT of an attack, is not. This is not cool, and I don't care if Brian Williams needs more face time. Do your job responsibly instead of whacking people out. Report the facts, do not dwell on it, and let the rest of us enjoy our lives, please. One warning every hour or so (and the stupid crawl every five minutes) will suffice. It must be a slow news week.
Or perhaps the media is still trying to make people think that GW is a failure vis-a-vis our security? Having seen first hand what an airliner can do to an office building, I already am alert. Now you're making me hyper-alert and this kind of chicken little reportage is going to get someone killed by another hyper-alert citizen with a firearm or maybe just a crowbar. Cool your jets please, and be responsible.
Of course, we're talking about the media, so I feel like I'm talking to my rottweiller puppy.....
In addition to all the usual nonsense sprayed across our television screens at this time of year (toy commercials, jewelry commercials, the fufilment of Everyman's Dream if only his Missus would get him that cute, little backhair remover thingy), we have been graced by the pugnacious face of Tom Ridge, Homeland Security Secretary. Mr. Ridge, as his title would suggest, has several advisories relating to Homeland Security.
It seems that terrorists will/might/are capable of/possibly will/bet-ya-they-could/are-planning/might-plan/have the idea to/are actively working towards new attacks, preferably in New York, Los Angeles, and East Buttfuck, Wyoming this holiday season. Fine. Let them try --- I have confidence in local law enforcement (although not in Airport Security). I have pretty much come to grips with the fact that because we are an open, free society, we will not be locking up or shooting everyone of Muslim persuasion that enters or resides in the country, and I appreciate Mr. Ridge taking his job seriously enough (or covering his ass enough) to warn the public when he gets some hot poop on would-be suicide bombers. The problem I have in this regard is the media.
According to the flapping rectums on the news, we're all but fucked this week. After all, we captured Saddam (and the other side wants revenge), the government still has not sorted out all aspects of security (it's a goddamn bureacracy, for the love of God, slowness in and sloppiness are to be expected), but do we need to hear this 24/7? Periodic warnings (surprisingly enough, some of us are still too stupid to have taken the lessons of 9/11 to heart. They will prbably vote for Howard Dean) are fine. Bombarding people with the THREAT of an attack, is not. This is not cool, and I don't care if Brian Williams needs more face time. Do your job responsibly instead of whacking people out. Report the facts, do not dwell on it, and let the rest of us enjoy our lives, please. One warning every hour or so (and the stupid crawl every five minutes) will suffice. It must be a slow news week.
Or perhaps the media is still trying to make people think that GW is a failure vis-a-vis our security? Having seen first hand what an airliner can do to an office building, I already am alert. Now you're making me hyper-alert and this kind of chicken little reportage is going to get someone killed by another hyper-alert citizen with a firearm or maybe just a crowbar. Cool your jets please, and be responsible.
Of course, we're talking about the media, so I feel like I'm talking to my rottweiller puppy.....
Some Comlaints About Blogger.Com
1. Those annoying ads at the tops of the page. They seem to be related to whatever I have written about, so I have seen ads for Muslim books, Usama bin Laden, Howard Dean, lovely Al Gore gift ideas, Chia pets, etc. Blogger is nice enough, I'll admit, to giving you an option to remove the ads, I just wish it would actually work!
2. Reliability is an issue. If I feel like updating my blog at 3;30 in the a.m., it better damn well be capable of being updated. I'm getting a little sick of "404 website not found" mesages.
3. Ummmm...the format here could be a little handier. All in all, not too bad, but it could be a little neater and easier to use.
1. Those annoying ads at the tops of the page. They seem to be related to whatever I have written about, so I have seen ads for Muslim books, Usama bin Laden, Howard Dean, lovely Al Gore gift ideas, Chia pets, etc. Blogger is nice enough, I'll admit, to giving you an option to remove the ads, I just wish it would actually work!
2. Reliability is an issue. If I feel like updating my blog at 3;30 in the a.m., it better damn well be capable of being updated. I'm getting a little sick of "404 website not found" mesages.
3. Ummmm...the format here could be a little handier. All in all, not too bad, but it could be a little neater and easier to use.
Sunday, December 21, 2003
Investing 101: Why You Can’t Win
Ah, the memories! They tickle the back of one’s mind like a feather, sometimes annoying, sometime pleasurable, always subtle and seemingly unsubstantial. As a feather is a wonder of engineering, so too is memory a wonder of the human brain. Sometimes the emergence of a memory is enough to take you back to happier times and greener pastures. Sometimes, like this one, it’s enough to make you vomit copiously.
Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of stock talk, i.e. chattering about the stock market. The stock market is back in vogue, you see, and people are getting braver as the market “recovers” much of what was lost in the last three years. Part of this is psychological – people like to think that something, especially wealth, that was seemingly gone forever can be reclaimed. The second part of this new phenomenon brings to mind an old saw – history repeats itself.
Now, I’m not here to urinate in anybody’s Wheaties. If you’re all up for a jaunt into the stock market, be my guest. However, when I hear Gen X’ers and slackers talking about owning stocks and making a killing, I start to get worried because the young have a flaw built into the model; the very often have no idea about what calamities have befallen their elders, nor do they listen very well to sage advice, even when they ask for it.
Part of the renewed interest in the markets by the younger set has to do with the idea that Social Security (as if most of them actually know what that is) probably will not survive in the current form (or maybe, at all) as we know it. The reasons are many; an older demographic which produces no usable/salable product or skill still make demands (monetary) on the social structure for their continued well being from ever more-slender revenues. A shrinking tax base, due to under-population in the working-age demographics, means that less money will be available in the future for social welfare, especially for the retired. Finally, the shift in the economy from an industrial, trade-based standard to a service-oriented basis, which is about to shift again to a technological basis, means higher levels of competition for lucrative paychecks later on.
The American economy of past ages has already moved away from agriculture, automobiles, shipbuilding, textiles and manufactured goods. The second-generation economy, which was based on services (financial, information systems, medical, etc), is being drained by competition from overseas (cheaper workers, lower benefits, longer hours), and the incredibly crippling (sometimes) burden of regulation. The next big shift in the economy of the United States will tend in the direction of scientific/technical disciplines – bio-tech, genome research, pharmaceuticals, chemicals, electrical and theoretical engineering. In short, jobs that will require more than a bachelor’s degree and an internship. These jobs will require PhD’s and a long apprenticeship before the younger crowd that takes them sees a return on the investment made on their education.
Thus, all the new talk about the stock market. See, when people begin to realize that their prime earning years are even further off then they are now, they begin to worry more about the prospects of their long-term future. This is the foundation block of the soon-to-be second “new” investor class. Add to these worries about retirement by 20-year-olds the fact that stocks are beginning to look more attractive (profits are up again, thanks to massive layoffs and shedding of payroll and benefit obligations), and we have a “new” enthusiasm for the markets arising.
I've spent 18 years on Wall Street (in the tech field, not behind a trading desk) and I have a bit of startling and disappointing, news for those who wish to dip their toes into the market again; The game is rigged against you. It always has been and always will be. Once you know what you’re up against, you can still go ahead and make money (you will make some over the long haul, provided you’re prudent), but you can forget about making a killing. Killings on the market occur only once in a lifetime, on about the same timetable as a Clinton telling the truth.
Those who do make a killing, the very few, do so because they have learned how to play the game by their own rules, i.e., they’re generally ruthless, have no life and thus spend their time in front of tickers all day, know the loopholes in the system and they’re anal retentive. They generally get lucky at least once and score big –like getting a Royal Flush at a Las Vegas poker table.
Now that I’ve told you that the market is rigged against you, let me inform you as to why. There are two fast and simple rules you need to remember. First, it takes money to make money. If you doubt this, do some quick arithmetic and figure out the difference between 7% interest on $100,000 and 7% return on $1,500,000. Multiply that second number by 8 to 10 times, and see how that works out. This all assumes, of course, that you never lose any part of your initial investment. The second rule is that money is not the mother’s milk of financial markets (it’s only the grease), information is. Information comes from a variety of sources and at alarming speeds. Brokerage houses have the wherewithal to collect this information from various sectors of the market, and then direct it to specialists who can make use of it. You don’t. You also don’t have access to it at the same time that the big boys do. They say that timing is everything, and never was that truer than when it comes to financial information.
Also, for those of you who might be ignorant about the inner machinations of the financial world, let me just say one thing: SIAC. SIAC is the Securities Industry Automation Corporation, which is a fancy way of saying that it is a clearing-house for information. SIAC’s main task is to control the flow of information into the markets. It does this by being the center where it is initially collected before being piped out to the various brokers and banks that make use of it. It also ensures that all the competitors get the same information at the same time, so that no one has an advantage, at least in theory. SIAC, incidentally, is supported by all the financial services on The Street, which theoretically means everyone has equal access in real time. Everyone except the guy sitting at home, tending to his portfolio via personal computer or the one that depends on a telephone to reach his broker. Technically, SIAC is supposed to be the first defense against “inside information”, which no one has ever adequately defined, but all can agree is a bad thing. Realistically though, SIAC dispenses “inside information”, that is, it gives restricted information to those that pay for it before that same information is made available to the public. Therefore, the big boys and the houses can take advantage of fresh information immediately, the private investor gets his with a built in lag.
So, when your broker calls you with a “hot tip”, rest assured the firm he works for has already made its money -- now it’s his turn. What he’s doing at that point is drumming up business, or to be more accurate, a commission. What you have to hope for when this happens is that you are one of the early suckers on the gravy train – as more people buy the stock, the price goes up, at which point, your broker will either inform you to hold it or dump it. You hold a stock in anticipation of another spurt in growth (i.e., more good information is forthcoming, it just hasn’t arrived yet), or you dump it to make a pile before it completely collapses. Generally, “hot stocks” fall into two categories – new products and services which will eventually become household names (like Coca-Cola or Xerox), or trendy issues (like Ericsson, Yahoo and AOL) which will eventually fall out of favor with the general public or quickly saturate their market niche --- in which case, you make a bundle and run before the train runs out of steam. Your broker cares not either way, he got his commission already, and has a ready excuse for losses – the market is sometimes unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed.
So, now you know how the information game is played and what it means to you, the small investor. The next step is to find a “reputable” broker.
Brokers fall into three general categories, but in the end, they’re all the same, basic type of person – licensed bookies in expensive suits, handicapping the markets the way one would racehorses, and all are obsessed with money. Usually, this covers both ends of the spectrum from the committed professional who believes in the power of free markets to benefit mankind, all the way to the shiftless backstabbing maggot who would sell his own grandmother into slavery if you offered him enough. Most fall into the middle-range, which I will call “Weebles”. Weebles, if you remember, were little egg-shaped dolls that were weighted at the bottom. Their main attraction was that no matter what you tried to knock them down, they would always recover their equilibrium and stand upright. A Weeble, in this sense, bends with the forces applied against it, and does his/her best to not fall down. This makes them self-centered and egocentric, the reason for their own being to ensure their own personal position without being held responsible for their actions. A Weeble will not knowingly break a law or violate ethics unless he/she believes that they can get away with it or that no one will find out. Weebles abound on Wall Street – remember Enron? Global Crossing? WorldCom?
At the end of the day, while your broker may most likely work for a major corporation, he or she is really a personal business. The Corporation just gives them a desk, phone and PC and the appearance that everything is on the up and up. Your broker makes a salary from his corporation, true, but he makes the majority of his money on commissions, bonuses and perquisites, and this is where his and the firm’s interests coincide. He brings in the business, no one cares how as long as the check clears and that the I’s are dotted, the T’s crossed, and both get paid. His only concern for you lays in his overriding wish to keep you coming back. Every time you come back, he gets dollar signs in his eyes. Like a crack dealer.
Can a small investor, working on his own, or even with a broker, get a good return on his investments in a game that’s fixed? Yes, they can. There are ways to make a buck or two without getting rolled or lied to in the process. None of it requires a deep understanding of economics, accounting or business in general. What you need is common sense. Common sense, in this case, means that you do your own legwork – you do your own research since firm-based research is usually tied to either a marketing scheme, or the institution that issues it is a major investor itself, therefore, it is tainted. This means you look at financial reports with a critical eye – if there’s something on there that you don’t understand, make an effort to find out what it means. Don’t look at “hot issues” unless you can determine the usefulness of the product or service they offer and if it’s based on what seem to be sound principles. AOL and Yahoo, for example, took off they way they did because the internet was a novelty and because we were promised a broad range of content. In the end, a saturated internet market brought you all the porn and Instant Messages you stand, but didn’t revolutionize your life the way it was supposed to. This is because most of the people involved in hyping the stocks were ignorant of the technology and they mistook the immediate demand as an indication of a “new direction for personal computing”, which sounds great in a report, but what the heck does that really mean? If the Internet could buy groceries for me, it would have been great. If it could have given me insight as to the meanings of existence, it would have been profound. Instead, it supplanted the Post Office and replaced the telephone as a means of communication, and consequently, took on the same usages both of those previous inventions did – it’s another way for people to yak at each other over the back fence. I defy you to find one person who can honestly say that their life was dramatically improved by the ability to get e-mail.
So, do your homework, then apply common sense, and lower your expectations just a bit. You aren’t going to become the next Warren Buffet so stop thinking that way.
Common sense and applied intelligence can save you a lot of heartache later on. And incidentally, would all the market yakkers please make an effort to learn what they’re talking about? If I hear one more 20-something whisper the potential earning power of skateboards and “power drinks”, I’m going to get sick. In the end, playing the market is no different than betting on a racehorse – it just all takes place in a seemingly more civilized place than OTB.
Ah, the memories! They tickle the back of one’s mind like a feather, sometimes annoying, sometime pleasurable, always subtle and seemingly unsubstantial. As a feather is a wonder of engineering, so too is memory a wonder of the human brain. Sometimes the emergence of a memory is enough to take you back to happier times and greener pastures. Sometimes, like this one, it’s enough to make you vomit copiously.
Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of stock talk, i.e. chattering about the stock market. The stock market is back in vogue, you see, and people are getting braver as the market “recovers” much of what was lost in the last three years. Part of this is psychological – people like to think that something, especially wealth, that was seemingly gone forever can be reclaimed. The second part of this new phenomenon brings to mind an old saw – history repeats itself.
Now, I’m not here to urinate in anybody’s Wheaties. If you’re all up for a jaunt into the stock market, be my guest. However, when I hear Gen X’ers and slackers talking about owning stocks and making a killing, I start to get worried because the young have a flaw built into the model; the very often have no idea about what calamities have befallen their elders, nor do they listen very well to sage advice, even when they ask for it.
Part of the renewed interest in the markets by the younger set has to do with the idea that Social Security (as if most of them actually know what that is) probably will not survive in the current form (or maybe, at all) as we know it. The reasons are many; an older demographic which produces no usable/salable product or skill still make demands (monetary) on the social structure for their continued well being from ever more-slender revenues. A shrinking tax base, due to under-population in the working-age demographics, means that less money will be available in the future for social welfare, especially for the retired. Finally, the shift in the economy from an industrial, trade-based standard to a service-oriented basis, which is about to shift again to a technological basis, means higher levels of competition for lucrative paychecks later on.
The American economy of past ages has already moved away from agriculture, automobiles, shipbuilding, textiles and manufactured goods. The second-generation economy, which was based on services (financial, information systems, medical, etc), is being drained by competition from overseas (cheaper workers, lower benefits, longer hours), and the incredibly crippling (sometimes) burden of regulation. The next big shift in the economy of the United States will tend in the direction of scientific/technical disciplines – bio-tech, genome research, pharmaceuticals, chemicals, electrical and theoretical engineering. In short, jobs that will require more than a bachelor’s degree and an internship. These jobs will require PhD’s and a long apprenticeship before the younger crowd that takes them sees a return on the investment made on their education.
Thus, all the new talk about the stock market. See, when people begin to realize that their prime earning years are even further off then they are now, they begin to worry more about the prospects of their long-term future. This is the foundation block of the soon-to-be second “new” investor class. Add to these worries about retirement by 20-year-olds the fact that stocks are beginning to look more attractive (profits are up again, thanks to massive layoffs and shedding of payroll and benefit obligations), and we have a “new” enthusiasm for the markets arising.
I've spent 18 years on Wall Street (in the tech field, not behind a trading desk) and I have a bit of startling and disappointing, news for those who wish to dip their toes into the market again; The game is rigged against you. It always has been and always will be. Once you know what you’re up against, you can still go ahead and make money (you will make some over the long haul, provided you’re prudent), but you can forget about making a killing. Killings on the market occur only once in a lifetime, on about the same timetable as a Clinton telling the truth.
Those who do make a killing, the very few, do so because they have learned how to play the game by their own rules, i.e., they’re generally ruthless, have no life and thus spend their time in front of tickers all day, know the loopholes in the system and they’re anal retentive. They generally get lucky at least once and score big –like getting a Royal Flush at a Las Vegas poker table.
Now that I’ve told you that the market is rigged against you, let me inform you as to why. There are two fast and simple rules you need to remember. First, it takes money to make money. If you doubt this, do some quick arithmetic and figure out the difference between 7% interest on $100,000 and 7% return on $1,500,000. Multiply that second number by 8 to 10 times, and see how that works out. This all assumes, of course, that you never lose any part of your initial investment. The second rule is that money is not the mother’s milk of financial markets (it’s only the grease), information is. Information comes from a variety of sources and at alarming speeds. Brokerage houses have the wherewithal to collect this information from various sectors of the market, and then direct it to specialists who can make use of it. You don’t. You also don’t have access to it at the same time that the big boys do. They say that timing is everything, and never was that truer than when it comes to financial information.
Also, for those of you who might be ignorant about the inner machinations of the financial world, let me just say one thing: SIAC. SIAC is the Securities Industry Automation Corporation, which is a fancy way of saying that it is a clearing-house for information. SIAC’s main task is to control the flow of information into the markets. It does this by being the center where it is initially collected before being piped out to the various brokers and banks that make use of it. It also ensures that all the competitors get the same information at the same time, so that no one has an advantage, at least in theory. SIAC, incidentally, is supported by all the financial services on The Street, which theoretically means everyone has equal access in real time. Everyone except the guy sitting at home, tending to his portfolio via personal computer or the one that depends on a telephone to reach his broker. Technically, SIAC is supposed to be the first defense against “inside information”, which no one has ever adequately defined, but all can agree is a bad thing. Realistically though, SIAC dispenses “inside information”, that is, it gives restricted information to those that pay for it before that same information is made available to the public. Therefore, the big boys and the houses can take advantage of fresh information immediately, the private investor gets his with a built in lag.
So, when your broker calls you with a “hot tip”, rest assured the firm he works for has already made its money -- now it’s his turn. What he’s doing at that point is drumming up business, or to be more accurate, a commission. What you have to hope for when this happens is that you are one of the early suckers on the gravy train – as more people buy the stock, the price goes up, at which point, your broker will either inform you to hold it or dump it. You hold a stock in anticipation of another spurt in growth (i.e., more good information is forthcoming, it just hasn’t arrived yet), or you dump it to make a pile before it completely collapses. Generally, “hot stocks” fall into two categories – new products and services which will eventually become household names (like Coca-Cola or Xerox), or trendy issues (like Ericsson, Yahoo and AOL) which will eventually fall out of favor with the general public or quickly saturate their market niche --- in which case, you make a bundle and run before the train runs out of steam. Your broker cares not either way, he got his commission already, and has a ready excuse for losses – the market is sometimes unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed.
So, now you know how the information game is played and what it means to you, the small investor. The next step is to find a “reputable” broker.
Brokers fall into three general categories, but in the end, they’re all the same, basic type of person – licensed bookies in expensive suits, handicapping the markets the way one would racehorses, and all are obsessed with money. Usually, this covers both ends of the spectrum from the committed professional who believes in the power of free markets to benefit mankind, all the way to the shiftless backstabbing maggot who would sell his own grandmother into slavery if you offered him enough. Most fall into the middle-range, which I will call “Weebles”. Weebles, if you remember, were little egg-shaped dolls that were weighted at the bottom. Their main attraction was that no matter what you tried to knock them down, they would always recover their equilibrium and stand upright. A Weeble, in this sense, bends with the forces applied against it, and does his/her best to not fall down. This makes them self-centered and egocentric, the reason for their own being to ensure their own personal position without being held responsible for their actions. A Weeble will not knowingly break a law or violate ethics unless he/she believes that they can get away with it or that no one will find out. Weebles abound on Wall Street – remember Enron? Global Crossing? WorldCom?
At the end of the day, while your broker may most likely work for a major corporation, he or she is really a personal business. The Corporation just gives them a desk, phone and PC and the appearance that everything is on the up and up. Your broker makes a salary from his corporation, true, but he makes the majority of his money on commissions, bonuses and perquisites, and this is where his and the firm’s interests coincide. He brings in the business, no one cares how as long as the check clears and that the I’s are dotted, the T’s crossed, and both get paid. His only concern for you lays in his overriding wish to keep you coming back. Every time you come back, he gets dollar signs in his eyes. Like a crack dealer.
Can a small investor, working on his own, or even with a broker, get a good return on his investments in a game that’s fixed? Yes, they can. There are ways to make a buck or two without getting rolled or lied to in the process. None of it requires a deep understanding of economics, accounting or business in general. What you need is common sense. Common sense, in this case, means that you do your own legwork – you do your own research since firm-based research is usually tied to either a marketing scheme, or the institution that issues it is a major investor itself, therefore, it is tainted. This means you look at financial reports with a critical eye – if there’s something on there that you don’t understand, make an effort to find out what it means. Don’t look at “hot issues” unless you can determine the usefulness of the product or service they offer and if it’s based on what seem to be sound principles. AOL and Yahoo, for example, took off they way they did because the internet was a novelty and because we were promised a broad range of content. In the end, a saturated internet market brought you all the porn and Instant Messages you stand, but didn’t revolutionize your life the way it was supposed to. This is because most of the people involved in hyping the stocks were ignorant of the technology and they mistook the immediate demand as an indication of a “new direction for personal computing”, which sounds great in a report, but what the heck does that really mean? If the Internet could buy groceries for me, it would have been great. If it could have given me insight as to the meanings of existence, it would have been profound. Instead, it supplanted the Post Office and replaced the telephone as a means of communication, and consequently, took on the same usages both of those previous inventions did – it’s another way for people to yak at each other over the back fence. I defy you to find one person who can honestly say that their life was dramatically improved by the ability to get e-mail.
So, do your homework, then apply common sense, and lower your expectations just a bit. You aren’t going to become the next Warren Buffet so stop thinking that way.
Common sense and applied intelligence can save you a lot of heartache later on. And incidentally, would all the market yakkers please make an effort to learn what they’re talking about? If I hear one more 20-something whisper the potential earning power of skateboards and “power drinks”, I’m going to get sick. In the end, playing the market is no different than betting on a racehorse – it just all takes place in a seemingly more civilized place than OTB.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
The Joys of Fatherhood
Well, I finally got my puppy on Momday and she's a beauty --- german shepherd/rottweiller mix with incredible markings. I have named her Clio, after the Greek muse of History.
Just a few things I didn't really think about much before I got the dog:
- Housebreaking is a bitch...
- She usually remembers that she IS a puppy at around 3:30 a.m. That, apparently is a good play time for her.
- I forgot how sharp milk teeth are.
- Dog food is about the smelliest substance on the planet (excepting Saddam after three days in the hole, subsisting on Mars bars and hot dogs).
- Anything that hangs is a toy or subject to chewing. Usually late at night.
While my patience is being tried big time, I'm still glad I went and got her.
Well, I finally got my puppy on Momday and she's a beauty --- german shepherd/rottweiller mix with incredible markings. I have named her Clio, after the Greek muse of History.
Just a few things I didn't really think about much before I got the dog:
- Housebreaking is a bitch...
- She usually remembers that she IS a puppy at around 3:30 a.m. That, apparently is a good play time for her.
- I forgot how sharp milk teeth are.
- Dog food is about the smelliest substance on the planet (excepting Saddam after three days in the hole, subsisting on Mars bars and hot dogs).
- Anything that hangs is a toy or subject to chewing. Usually late at night.
While my patience is being tried big time, I'm still glad I went and got her.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Saddam: The Fallout...
Pity the democraps and the press! They are beside themselves with anger and absolutely stunned that our "idiot", "selected" President has won a major victory, both on the battlefield and in the eyes of the planet. "
So incredibly pissed off are they, that I have heard the following things in the last few days:
1. According to eight of nine (count 'em) morons running for the democrap nomination to be GW's whipping boy next November (Joe Lieberman is noteworthy for his absence from this list), the capture of Saddam Hussein will either increase the violence against American troops in Iraq or increase the number of terrorist attacks against Americans worldwide. Various explanations are given as to why: we humiliated Saddam, bin Laden is still out there somewhere, the French and Germans still don't approve, Howard Dean and John Kerry said so, because the earth is banana-shaped. The message is always the same: "this is a good thing, but..."
Watch all of these people suggest that more body bags full of Americans is the reward we will reap, that all of this could have been done differently (i.e. have the French, Germans and Russians on board) if they had been in charge or that having Saddam in the bag makes the world MORE dangerous.
When you lose your argument on truth, facts and logic, resort to hysteria, deceit and castigation. Typical.
2. In the matter of (their) opinion, Iraqis should have been able to overthrow Saddam on their own (given time) and trusted to do the right thing with their country afterwards, can no longer be trusted to try the former-dictator-cum-mole "fairly' because they will let their anger and thirst for revenge get the better of them. Damn right, Skippy! All the more reason to LET them do it. Amazing how the Left is already talking about Saddam's rights when estimates put 500,000 in mass graves, thousands of Iraqis were tortured and robbed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. in Iraq). Why is it that a brutal dictator can dispose of fairness when he holds a nation by the throat, but he must be given consideration when HE'S facing the gallows? Logic warp time --- the guilty should be protected and the innocent take their chances.
3. Bush should not use this victory to his own "political advantage". Hmmm...we know a democrat (small 'd' intentional) would NEVER do that. To do so would "question the patriotism" of his opposition.
4. The U.N. is still relevant to this whole Iraq process thing...Somehow...
5. We have changed nothing, except to put ourselves in the Saddam's place.
Now you tell me, who REALLY lives in a 8' x 10' rathole denying reality?
Pity the democraps and the press! They are beside themselves with anger and absolutely stunned that our "idiot", "selected" President has won a major victory, both on the battlefield and in the eyes of the planet. "
So incredibly pissed off are they, that I have heard the following things in the last few days:
1. According to eight of nine (count 'em) morons running for the democrap nomination to be GW's whipping boy next November (Joe Lieberman is noteworthy for his absence from this list), the capture of Saddam Hussein will either increase the violence against American troops in Iraq or increase the number of terrorist attacks against Americans worldwide. Various explanations are given as to why: we humiliated Saddam, bin Laden is still out there somewhere, the French and Germans still don't approve, Howard Dean and John Kerry said so, because the earth is banana-shaped. The message is always the same: "this is a good thing, but..."
Watch all of these people suggest that more body bags full of Americans is the reward we will reap, that all of this could have been done differently (i.e. have the French, Germans and Russians on board) if they had been in charge or that having Saddam in the bag makes the world MORE dangerous.
When you lose your argument on truth, facts and logic, resort to hysteria, deceit and castigation. Typical.
2. In the matter of (their) opinion, Iraqis should have been able to overthrow Saddam on their own (given time) and trusted to do the right thing with their country afterwards, can no longer be trusted to try the former-dictator-cum-mole "fairly' because they will let their anger and thirst for revenge get the better of them. Damn right, Skippy! All the more reason to LET them do it. Amazing how the Left is already talking about Saddam's rights when estimates put 500,000 in mass graves, thousands of Iraqis were tortured and robbed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. in Iraq). Why is it that a brutal dictator can dispose of fairness when he holds a nation by the throat, but he must be given consideration when HE'S facing the gallows? Logic warp time --- the guilty should be protected and the innocent take their chances.
3. Bush should not use this victory to his own "political advantage". Hmmm...we know a democrat (small 'd' intentional) would NEVER do that. To do so would "question the patriotism" of his opposition.
4. The U.N. is still relevant to this whole Iraq process thing...Somehow...
5. We have changed nothing, except to put ourselves in the Saddam's place.
Now you tell me, who REALLY lives in a 8' x 10' rathole denying reality?
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Saddam is Captured!
Woke up to the news this morning that Public Enemy Numero Uno in Iraq was captured by Special Forces this morning in the city of Tikrit, hiding in a farmhouse surrounded by tons of money. Although armed, said miscreant Hussein did not offer any resistance. God Bless the US Army, President Bush and the Iraqi people, who can now be expected to take out their own trash.
One down and one to go....
Saddam's capture, of course, is something to celebrate. Not only is it a victory for freedom-loving people everywhere, it is a victory for the whole of civilization. One less dictator, one less psychopath with the full resources of a virtual slave state behind him. Howard Dean, John Kery, Hilary Clinton, et. al., should learn the lesson and take it to heart --- the lesson is that freedom triumphs over despotism, always, even "benevolent" despotism. Saddam Hussein's regime didn't even pretend to be benevolent.
Now, for Usama bin Laden. I have a theory that the US government knows all or any of the following:
1) Where bin Laden is/was hiding.
2) That bin Laden is dead.
3) The exact cave where his rotting corpse lies festering under several tons of rubble.
I base this belief on the fact that no one has come forward (that we know of) to collect the $25 million price tag on his head. Even dedicated Mujaheddin like money, you know. I season this belief with the fact that we never see bin Laden anymore, the only hints that he might still be kicking are audio and video tapes, of poor quality and dubious origin, being broadcast on Al-Jazeera, often months after the events they relate to have taken place. Usama is no longer a hero, he's a trademark --- like Colonel Sanders. We know Colonel Sanders existed once, but no one sees him anymore. He's a marketing campaign, a symbol denoting "tradition and trust". Although I can't see anyone making a rational decision to buy what he's selling. You have to be irrational to be a Muslim suicide bomber.
Do not be surprised if in the very near future (say, September perhaps) if the Presidential race between Bush and whichever neo-Socialist liar gets the democratic nomination should tighten uncomfortably if the pictures of Usama's body, or Usama himself, suddenly appear on your television screen. This ammo is being held in reserve until it is needed.
In the meantime, let's all celebrate. I have a feeling Saddam is about to be invited to a necktie party. I'll buy the beer.
Woke up to the news this morning that Public Enemy Numero Uno in Iraq was captured by Special Forces this morning in the city of Tikrit, hiding in a farmhouse surrounded by tons of money. Although armed, said miscreant Hussein did not offer any resistance. God Bless the US Army, President Bush and the Iraqi people, who can now be expected to take out their own trash.
One down and one to go....
Saddam's capture, of course, is something to celebrate. Not only is it a victory for freedom-loving people everywhere, it is a victory for the whole of civilization. One less dictator, one less psychopath with the full resources of a virtual slave state behind him. Howard Dean, John Kery, Hilary Clinton, et. al., should learn the lesson and take it to heart --- the lesson is that freedom triumphs over despotism, always, even "benevolent" despotism. Saddam Hussein's regime didn't even pretend to be benevolent.
Now, for Usama bin Laden. I have a theory that the US government knows all or any of the following:
1) Where bin Laden is/was hiding.
2) That bin Laden is dead.
3) The exact cave where his rotting corpse lies festering under several tons of rubble.
I base this belief on the fact that no one has come forward (that we know of) to collect the $25 million price tag on his head. Even dedicated Mujaheddin like money, you know. I season this belief with the fact that we never see bin Laden anymore, the only hints that he might still be kicking are audio and video tapes, of poor quality and dubious origin, being broadcast on Al-Jazeera, often months after the events they relate to have taken place. Usama is no longer a hero, he's a trademark --- like Colonel Sanders. We know Colonel Sanders existed once, but no one sees him anymore. He's a marketing campaign, a symbol denoting "tradition and trust". Although I can't see anyone making a rational decision to buy what he's selling. You have to be irrational to be a Muslim suicide bomber.
Do not be surprised if in the very near future (say, September perhaps) if the Presidential race between Bush and whichever neo-Socialist liar gets the democratic nomination should tighten uncomfortably if the pictures of Usama's body, or Usama himself, suddenly appear on your television screen. This ammo is being held in reserve until it is needed.
In the meantime, let's all celebrate. I have a feeling Saddam is about to be invited to a necktie party. I'll buy the beer.
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