Monday, April 30, 2012

I’m The New Clinton…

Meet the New Barack Obama; He's the Old Bill Clinton.

First he was Black Jesus. Then the reincarnation of Lincoln. Then he was the democratic version of Ronald Reagan. Now he’s the next Bill Clinton. Wait another month and he’ll be claiming to be the defender of all things Michael Dukakis. The week before Election Day, and he’ll probably be eagerly grasping the mantle of the Jimmy Carter that Jimmy Carter could never be.

And this, in a nutshell, sums up the entire Barack Obama Experience; the democratic party (small ‘d’ intentional) is reduced to defining the concepts of comparative greatness ever downwards in an effort to erase the memory of the Promises. A President without foundations or a personality of his own is left to try and equate himself with the Pantheon of American Leftists, and struggling to find the least-objectionable parallel for himself that doesn’t make people vomit immediately.

Those Promises were economic salvation, an End To War, Peace and Strength, a New American Order, Lower Sea Levels, Green Energy coming out of your ass, the end of racial division, and a redistribution of wealth that would – finally – cement America’s place as the most egalitarian society in Human History, putting them pesky Norwegians and Swedes to shame, from the Leftard point-of-view.

The truth is, however, is this:

Barack Obama is a complete and utter failure. The warning signs were all there, but the better part of the American Voting Public chose to ignore the apparent lack of competence, the lack of a clear and principled track record. For two reasons alone; it finally wanted to put an end to the idea that America Is Racist, and it wanted, mightily, to avoid as continuance of the Status Quo that would have followed in the wake of either a President McCain, or a President Hillary.

After all, all the Status Quo had ever given us was economic disaster and strip searches at the Airport.

Barack Obama was sold to you as all things to all people, but in the end, as I’ve said here many times before, the truth of Obama is that he’s an apparatchik, par excellance, with no core beliefs, wedded to a mish-mash of failed ideologies that have been thoroughly discredited everywhere they’ve been tried. Barack Obama is, and always was, a marketing Campaign, a YouTube Video gone viral and then forgotten, the veritable end-of-commercial-disclaimer of “Batteries Not Included” or “Some Assembly Required”.

And much like the marketing Campaign, the flash and catchy slogans and jingles, and the brightly-colored packaging, the hard-sell approach of showing happy children playing with flop-eared puppies, the seeming joy and vitality of the people – all paid actors on a TV Screen – who used Brand X was designed to cover up the fact that Brand X was simply substandard shit in a prettier box with a higher price tag.

Much like the dreaded “Batteries Not Included” it was a faint admission that while Barack Obama looked like a useful product, ready and willing to work right out of the box and transform your life into something that transcended the ordinary, there was no power there when you hit the On Switch. There was no “oomph!”, no juice, the flashy lights stayed dim, the moving parts remained frozen in place.

Much like the warning of “Some Assembly Required” the Barack Obama that we got out of the box was incomplete in a very fundamental way; the attraction always was that Obama could be anything you decided you wanted him to be. He wasn’t the doofus who spent 17 years in Jeremiah Wright’s pew listening to racially-charged folderol; he wasn’t the guy who voted “Present” two billion times; he wasn’t the one-term Senator with the largely-manufactured biography. Oh no: Barack Obama was whatever you thought he COULD be. While there was a blueprint for Candidate Obama, there was never one for President Obama; it was left up to you to decide where all the parts went, and if you wound up with extra nuts and bolts at the end of it all, well, then YOU must have done something wrong, or the Republicans put them in the box to fuck you up, or maybe the public just wasn’t ready – or was too stupid – to be trusted with the important task of constructing a President with nothing but their hopes and aspirations.

The only wrenches Obama ever required are the ones that he’s thrown into the American System….of Everything.

And hopefully near the End of The Obama Nightmare, this is what he’s been reduced to. No…wait….this is what WE have been reduced to: the fervent hope that Obama can be the least worst he could possibly be. You have to be content and happy if he manages to hover somewhere between Jimmy Carter’s micromanaged technocratic incompetence, and Bill Clinton’s sleazy triangulated and wholly manufactured bon homie...with rape allegations.

And the saddest part of it all, is that Obama himself, clueless douchebag that he is, is somehow convinced that if after having raised unrealistic expectations in the first place, that re-election is now just a matter of finding a bottom that the American People -- the retards that we are -- could be minimally content with.

Imagine what a man that cynical, that out of touch, that ridiculously arrogant, could have accomplished as President of the United States if he had been really trying?

I would suggest that if the Public had wanted a Third Clinton Term, it would have voted for Her Heinous, who, in retrospect, at least would have had someone in the White House who had been there and done that, and to whom she could turn to for advice – even if it did mean Bill Was using the Lincoln Bedroom to house his Trailer Trash Brigade.

That the public did not fall in love with Hillary Clinton and vote her into contention in 2008 says much about what even died-in-the-wool leftard democrats thought of Bill Clinton; they wouldn’t even vote to get him inside 1600 Pennsylvania Ave as puppetmaster. Even they didn't want a Third Clinton term.

I doubt the comparison will do much for Barack Obama, but I guess you have to do something. It’s all much like the old neighborhood restaurant that has fallen on bad times--  tastes have changed, the chef has quit, the Health Department keeps finding rat turds in the custard, the bills pile up while receipts are down, the butcher won’t even sell you the animal-grade cuts, and your old, once-reliable customers have gone across the street to the cleaner restaurant with cheaper prices and better food – the owner  believes that advertising a Blue-Plate Special or a Two-for-One Spaghetti Night (with coupon) will turn things around, given enough time.

Fat chance.

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