YAY! I'm A Minority Now!

Depending upon which Flapping Rectum you believe on television, Mitt Romney lost the election for a variety of reasons, many of them esoteric, many arcane, a few more technical, but in any case, not exactly clear to anyone with enough sense to keep from sticking their wet genitalia into the nearest, convenient electrical outlet.

It doesn't seem as if anyone who is supposed to be 'in the know' about American politics can actually give you an answer to this simple question:

How did Mitt Romney lose this election to a complete and utter retard, backed by an even bigger retard (Joe Biden), surrounded by drooling doofuses who can't as much as answer a question truthfully (Susan Rice, Hillary Clinton, Eric Holder, Janet Napolitano, Tim Geithner, etc.), running on a platform of absolutely ZERO accomplishments, saddled with a bad economy and $16 trillion debt, an expansion of the Wars in the Middle East, and a sense of total confusion so thick you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw?

They Know Not What They Have Done...

I would like to dedicate this screed to all of you complete and utter morons out there who did the unthinkable, and pulled the lever for one Barack Hussein Obama some ten days ago. I truly wish you all the worst kind of inhuman suffering these next four years, and that, like a Biblical curse, the sin you have committed is passed on from father to son, mother to daughter, and so on, indefinitely.

Yes, that is mean. Yes, it's even cruel to wish that bad things should happen to complete strangers, who, for all I know, happen to be fine and decent people who just made a choice I happen to disagree with. But then again, it's terribly apropos given the sense of smug satisfaction and the complete douchbaggery with which the average Obama voter in these parts has behaved. I'll get to some individual examples in just a minute, but first, I want to try to explain to you assholes just what it is you have accomplished, because most of you seem clueless about the effects your vote will have beyond "I'm gettin' _______ for free!", and "Suck on that,.Whitey!".

What The Fuck Just Happened?

So, the Election of 2012 has ended, and not in a good way.

Barack Obama has won re-election, a possibility that as little as a week ago seemed remote, nearly impossible, given high unemployment, economic stagnation, crippling national debt, gridlock in the halls of Congress, and an apparently reinvigorated Al'Qaeda on the rampage throughout Northern Africa. There will be much navel gazing today, and for weeks to come, and most of the results will be predictable:

The Presidency of Because I Said So...

Remember when you were a child, and you asked your parents a question they didn't want to answer, or maybe you were forbidden to do something, and this circumstance confused your tiny little brain to the extent that you were actually motivated to ask that most-innocent and eternal of questions:

Why?

And your parents, flummoxed, perhaps impatient, could not bother to give you a reasonable facsimile of a definitive, logical, coherent answer, and would simply retort in a brusque tone:

Because I said so....

The subject, at that point, was assumed to be closed.

As you got older, you got another version of this dodge, this inability to answer a direct question with a measured argument, and it went something like this:

You'll understand when you grow up...

And this dialectic, more than anything else, I believe, describes the last four years of the Obama Administration to a tee.

Former Staffer: Obama and Biden "Financially Illiterate"...

No shit? Just figuring that out, huh?

Next year, assuming the Mayans were wrong about Armageddon, is going to be a blast for those of us who like to read. I have no doubt that there’s  fifty “Obama Insider” books already written, and ready to go, all dripping with the truth about President Marriott-Suites, his Deputy Dog of a Vice President, and the gift that keeps on giving, Our Esteemed Secretary of State, the Old Crusty Pantsuit, herself.

And every last one of them holds out the possibility of containing completely original, never-before-spoken-of examples of legendary stupidity that will, in all likelihood, shock the ever-loving shit out of every last one of us. Not because it will be unbelievable, but because we’ll finally know just how close we came to becoming a fascist dictatorship run by complete doofuses.

Think Mussolini with Down’s Syndrome.

The article is basically a rehash of some disillusioned-and-selfish dickhead’s disappointments with Biden, but it’s a weather vane, of sorts, for the kind of shit we’re likely to be seeing on bookshelves really soon. The theme is that “While I may be a complete asshole, Joe Biden is a bigger one, and here’s why….”

Make sure your Kindle is charged up, folks.

Obama "First Time" Ad Not Only Stupid; It Was a Rip Off...

...from Vladimir fuckin' Putin, no less!

You weep for the future when you realize that this ad is targeted at young adults, who apparently can’t think for themselves, or be motivated to do anything unless it includes a certain amount of salaciousness.

And we wonder why 50% of them can’t find a job after graduating college? Maybe because some are fucking dolts who don’t have a thought that isn’t in some way connected to their genitalia, and they take their politics from a third-rate actress with obvious brain damage.

Youth is wasted on the Young.

Why Obama Disappointed...

It’s no secret as to why Obama disappoints Republicans and Conservatives, obviously. The constant drumbeat of socialism makes the Obama Administration naturally repugnant to those who, at the very least, still pretend to pay lip service to the founding principles of our Great Republic, if only because they are currently salivating at the prospect of being able to wield the levers of government in similar fashion, for the benefit of their friends, again, too.

(It is my contention that no sooner than Obama is removed from power, that the very next, necessary step in cleaning up our national mess is to get rid of the entrenched Republican establishment in Congress, replacing it with actual republicans and conservatives instead of  white-shirted, red-tied apparatchiks. Get to work, Tea Party!).

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words...

Need I say more?

Fighting For The Female Vote...

...and why it's probably a waste of effort.

This Lunatic has been busy this week, which is why I haven’t been posting. My apologies to all my loyal readers who come here first for diseased commentary, but I reckon that once you know exactly what I  have been doing, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.

For I have been doing important political research.

You see, it all began when I started really paying attention to all these news reports about poll numbers in the upcoming Presidential election. Normally, I could care less about polls because they are typically useless for just about anything except which brand of dishwashing liquid is more popular than another, Typically, when a newscast or somesuch starts talking about polling data, my eyes glaze over, and I retreat into a sort of semi-conscious reverie in which I become Wolverine, and I’m fantasizing about using my incredible mutant powers – and those way-too-fuckin'-cool claws – to rob banks, and my incredible animal magnetism (complete with mutant pheromones!) to get Salma Hayek out of her clothing and into the sack.

Hillary and Benghazi...

So, the Hildebeest took 'responsibility' for the lack of security that got four Americans killed in Benghazi, did she? Taking one for The Team, as the old saying does, is she? The Obamatards must be operating under the mistaken belief that now that someone has taken 'responsibility' for the Benghazi Disaster the subject is officially closed, probably much like they believed Al' Qaeda was finished after bin Laden was shot in the fucking face.

Well, no, the whole thing ISN'T over, Mr. President. It's only getting started.

Just because Hillary says "it's my fault...", doesn't make it all go away. It doesn't mean we can all, as you people like to say. "move on"

The fact remains that someone is lying to us, and we need to know the truth, especially from someone who promised us more transparency than we could ever imagine when he was elected.

An Open Letter To The Undecided Voter...

Dear Undecided Voter,

I understand that the choice you are being asked to make on November 6th, 2012 is an important one that will have many unknown and long-term effects, and that as such, you wish to make the best decision you possibly can.

Truly, it is important that you, Undecided Voter, be given every opportunity to scrutinize both major candidates for the Presidency of the United States, and be given all the time you need to ensure that you understand each candidate's position on a wide variety of issues of burning import. I comprehend the magnitude of the decision that you are being asked to make, and the sheer sense of solemn responsibility that you feel for having to make it.

Really, it's quite alright if you take your time, and make certain you know what all the angles and issues are before you make that all-important decision.

Fuck Big Bird...

The last time I looked, Big Bird was something on the order of a billion-dollar-a-year business.

Which brings us to the question:

"If Sesame Street is so successful, why does it require -- or at least the television network it appears on require -- a taxpayer-paid infusion of cash every goddamned year?"

And that's in addition to the proceeds from a concentrated program of organized, professional begging (hey, hope you enjoy that $1,000 plastic tote bag, and the Liza Minelli CD's!!) that according to PBS. itself, brings in almost as much as the federal subsidy (somewhere in the neighborhood of $400-500 million bucks).

So, let's do some basic math:

The Coming Age of Social Darwinism...

Things look pretty bleak these days if you're a Lefty. European-style social democracy, with it's cradle-to-grave mentality, it's four weeks of paid vacation (even for people who don't work), and it's generous 'safety net' of myriad welfare payments, is about to come to an abrupt end. European governments can no longer afford to pay for it all. Even the attempt by the larger countries of Europe to slag some of the expense of their enormous social spending commitments off on their smaller neighbors -- they called it the European Union, but the only thing it was ever designed to do was to make Irish laborers pay the expenses of French retirees, and Spanish farmers supply the funding to send an Italian to college for 12 years -- has failed miserably.

The riots you see in the streets of Athens, Madrid, Rome and Lisbon are the first indication that the political Left is beginning to realize that it's free ride -- intellectually, economically, politically, and socially -- is about to stop short. Why? Because it's about to be defunded by governments who will have to either practice some form of austerity, or collapse completely. And it's all about to happen in the United States, too.

Romney Kicked the Rhetorical Crap Out of Obama...

In the aftermath of last night's first Presidential debate, I found myself haunted by a somewhat disturbing, but entirely understandable, visual. It was the vision of a lost puppy being run over by a speeding freight train.

Obama lost that debate, badly. It wasn't that Mitt Romney was, as they say, on his game, or was in command of his facts, or exuded intelligence and confidence, so much as it was Obama's shortcomings being made unmistakably obvious just by juxtaposition with someone who can apparently chew gum and walk at the same time. Some say Romney hit a home run with his performance, but I figure that all he really needed to do was appear able to string together coherent sentences and win, because Obama obviously cannot.

Romney is Right...

In a transparent effort to drum up a controversy where none exists, and doing so in such a childish and petty way that it almost makes you pine for the days when REAL Libtard journalists, like Cronkite, Jennings, Moyers, Arnett, and Rather, knew how to lie at least half-assedly convincingly in defense of a complete loser asshole of a President who had a drunk chick's chance in a redneck bowling alley on two-for-one Coor's Lite night of pulling out a squeaker victory come Election Day.

Romney Gaffes! Screams one headline. Romney accidentally tells truth and admits to being a miserably rich bastard who hates poor people and puppies! furiously spins yet another third-grade-reading level-use-a lot- of-short words-so-the-college-kids-can-understand-you denizen of his mother's basement. Romney in Trouble! assures your local fishwrap, whose circulation is dropping faster than a Chicago schoolkid's chances of achieving basic literacy.

He's Finally Run Out of Excuses, Huh?

Why Obama Needs To Go...

Despite the fact that we’re a nation obsessed with Political Correctness to the point where we can’t even tell ourselves self-evident truths anymore, I need to say some things, and don’t give a crap about the possible response. Out loud, and with frequency. If they aren’t said, then we, as a nation, are doomed to continue in a flaming downward spiral that can only end badly; like the other great nations and empires of old, we will soon be relegated to relic status, only fit to be remembered, if at all, in that bored-schoolchildren-touring-a-museum way.

The first thing that needs to be said is that Barack Obama, the Great Half-White Dope, the Vacationer-in-Chief, the manifestation of Hope and Change divorced from reason and logic, needs to be shown the door.

What I See at the DNC...

Lots of whining, and continuous talk of vaginas, basically.

Just a few quick points before I go into (sordid) detail:

1. You have to wonder at the true motivations and intentions of a party that can't even answer a straight question about it's platform. Apparently, the DNC has erased all references to God in it's platform, and all references of Jerusalem as the capital of a Jewish State. Fair enough: on the one hand, I don't mind removing the word 'God' since God does not exist, and because it is a true reflection of the beliefs of a majority of democrats: even the so-called "reverends" who lead the rear-guard of the Civil Rights era apparently don't take the Bible literally, or at best, use it to justify things and ideas that it most certainly doesn't justify.

What We Saw at The GOP Convention...

Apologies for being a bit late with this. Tess has been deathly ill, and I've been kinda busy keeping her alive. Which is more than Obamacare would have done.

In keeping with our general theme this week, let's wrap up what we saw at the GOP convention. In no particular order:

What I See At The GOP Convention...

The story thus far:

Mitt Romney gets the nod. Lots of great speeches. A lot of childish behavior from Libertarians. A lot of press people -- many who should know better -- outright, unabashedly lying. Here's the high- (and low-) lights, as I see them, so far: