Feminism Would Work...If Only Men Would Do It For Us....

So sayeth the wise and sage Chelsea Clinton, scion of the "Smartest Woman in the World" and The Most Famous Bent Penis, fake television journalist, descendant of the vast criminal enterprise that is Clinton, Inc.

You can read what she had to say here:

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/chelsea-clinton-men-must-lead-the-way-to-gender-equality/article/2561161

Basically, what the daughter of Don Horneyleone says is that if feminism is to ever achieve it's stated purpose of a free-and-equal society, it is Men that have to make it happen.

"Help" Syrian Rebels? Why?

RE: The announcement by the Obama Administration that it will give "aid" to the Syrian rebels currently fighting the regime of Dictator-for-Life Bashir Al-Assad.

I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:

When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.

Dear Government: Please Save Us...Not!

I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, paraphrasing, "Those who would surrender their Liberty for Security, gain neither...". And he was right.

It's a lesson we seem to have forgotten in these here United States. I mean, after almost 80 years of New Dealism, Great Societism, and a host of Wars on everything from Drugs to Common Sense, Americans have become accustomed to creeping government -- empowered to 'do something' by it's own citizenry who keeps voting for complete self-interested douchebags -- taking a more active role in their lives, personal security, and nowadays, even their healthcare.

Hillary and Benghazi...

So, the Hildebeest took 'responsibility' for the lack of security that got four Americans killed in Benghazi, did she? Taking one for The Team, as the old saying does, is she? The Obamatards must be operating under the mistaken belief that now that someone has taken 'responsibility' for the Benghazi Disaster the subject is officially closed, probably much like they believed Al' Qaeda was finished after bin Laden was shot in the fucking face.

Well, no, the whole thing ISN'T over, Mr. President. It's only getting started.

Just because Hillary says "it's my fault...", doesn't make it all go away. It doesn't mean we can all, as you people like to say. "move on"

The fact remains that someone is lying to us, and we need to know the truth, especially from someone who promised us more transparency than we could ever imagine when he was elected.

What We Saw At The DNC...

It's finally over. The great big jamboree for the preternaturally stupid, the aging hippies, the Welfare Pimps, and the Professional Poor and Aggrieved is done. The City of Charlotte can now relax, even if it will take several days for the cloud of pot smoke and the aroma of bullshit to dissipate upon the eight winds. The moans and groans that I have heard over the last few days from those friends who live in my adopted Second City were the sort one usually only associates with someone dying of a very painful, and terminal, disease.

The people of Charlotte are damned happy this morning to have this three-ring circus, this travelling bordello of politics, this concentration of the worst elements of American society, finally gone.

Hillary Clinton Pelted With Tomatoes...

...which is a waste of perfectly good produce, if you ask me. Don't they have bricks in the Middle East?

Secretary of State Hillary "the Hildebeest" Clinton was greeted in the new "Moderate" "democratic" Egypt this weekend by a hostile crowd of people-who-wouldn't-dream-of-voting-for-the-Muslim-Brotherhood with taunts of "Monica!", "Monica!", and a shower of airborne salad components.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer person! One wonders if there was also a complementary Islamically-approved vinaigrette served with this humiliation.

Guess all that Smart Diplomacy is paying dividends, eh?


I applaud this "Moderate, modern, democratically-inclined, Islamic youth". They certainly seem smarter than our own!

UPDATE: Word has it that George W. Bush has been quoted as saying "At least they weren't throwing size-12 sandals, still covered in goat shit from the last orgy. Count your blessings, Little Lady! Welcome to my world, Bitch! Not so funny now, is it?"

"There Are Vicious People Working for the President..."

So says Lanny Davis, ex-Clinton lapdog and all-around self-serving douchebag.


This sort of reinforces the idea that I've had -- expressed many times on this very page -- that Barack Obama doesn't really run anything. he simply leaves things to his subordinates, and then goes on vacation or attends another tony fundraiser. For him, being President of the United States is just one, great big ego trip, and the heavy lifting -- the real work associated with it -- is for someone else to do.

If this is a truly accurate description of the people this President has surrounded himself with, the Valerie Jarrets, the David Axelrods, the sort of petty little dictators who never forget a slight (real or imagined), and who are willing to use their positions and access to the Commander-in-Chump to settle old scores, then it's no wonder that the Obama Tidy Bowl Presidency has gone the way it has.

The Presidency of Narcissism and Managerialism...

Professor Hanson on the narcissism and the "presidential survival" instinct of our recent crop of so-called "leaders". 

I think, though, what the Professor has missed -- and he's not alone in this regard -- is that we aren't being led astray so much by defective personalities, as we are being deliberately hijacked by a professional class of Managers; the sort identified by James Burnham in his 1940's books The Managerial Revolution, and The Machiavellians.


If this is true, then it is not so surprising that the Professor can dissect the administrations of both Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, and not only find startling similarities, but also a hollowness of character, and shallowness of personality.

I’m The New Clinton…

Meet the New Barack Obama; He's the Old Bill Clinton.

First he was Black Jesus. Then the reincarnation of Lincoln. Then he was the democratic version of Ronald Reagan. Now he’s the next Bill Clinton. Wait another month and he’ll be claiming to be the defender of all things Michael Dukakis. The week before Election Day, and he’ll probably be eagerly grasping the mantle of the Jimmy Carter that Jimmy Carter could never be.

I REALLY MISS GEORGE W. BUSH

You know what? I miss President Bush, and I'm tired of people still dissing him like he's some chump. Yeah Clinton was great, but who would you rather have had in office after that, Gore? Kerry?

With either of those guys as President, we would've been as lame as our neighbors by now. Don't get me wrong, I like Canada. They got free health care and poutine (which makes culinary sense). And Mexico...Mexico is warm.

Anyway, you need President Bush, like everyone else in this world does. Who else could have removed the threat in Iraq, trained the Iraqi people to defend their land, and instilled civility to a country? Who else would've given us stimulus checks in order to pump up the economy? If you don't like that, then you're most likely a Democrat...a crack-whore welfare Democrat.

Behold, my favorite President of the United States of America, in the greatest State of the Union Address ever. A speech you probably missed because you were busy hating him and wishing that your lives were miserable:




Have a good weekend...

*this post also appears at the Insane Asylum Blog*

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I Would Have Given Him a Medal...

Serbian General Ratko Mladic, alleged killer of 8.000 Muslims during the Yugoslav Civil Wars, arrested., will be tried for War Crimes. I would have given him a Nobel Peace prize. If Obama could get one for being black, Mladic should get one for having the courage to do what should have been done a very long time ago.

Like in 632 AD.

If we had guys like this in Iraq and Afghanistan the wars would have been over a very long time ago, victory would not have been ambiguous, and Barack Obama would still be filling in his application for night manager at Taco Bell.

By the way, American troops are STILL protecting Muslims in Bosnia, despite the fact that then-President Clinton said they'd only be there 'for about a year..."

I Keep Telling You: These People Are Crazy...

Ama-dina-doo-dad-day: Europe is Stealing Iran's Raindrops.

Naturally, so as not to be outdone by a bunch of dirty-laundry-wearing, livestock-molesting, wife-beaters in the Totally Batshit Crazy category, the United States announces that it will relax visa rules for Iranian 'students' (i.e. potential terrorists). This is just a super-dooper swell idea, ain't it? Let's open the doors to an even bigger wave of numbskulls who are so stupid as to believe that someone is stealing rain from them.

One wonders why this wasn't reported in very many American newspapers. I think I know the answer.

Of course, this is the same government that insists that throwing Israel under the bus in the name of peace is a good thing, and which believes that repeatedly insisting that Syria is a model of human rights and democracy despite the evidence of their own eyeballs and the nightly newscast makes it so.

You can't negotiate with people who believe you can steal their rain. Nor with folks who believe that someone's spiked their chewing gum with a chemical to make them all sterile. Or with someone who's default position is "I get what I want, or I will kill you...", and yet, some in American political circles continue to insist, despite clear evidence to the contrary, that all the problems of Islamofascism are the result of some simple misunderstandings. Something to be solved over coffee and cake.

Or with Israel disarming. Or with Israel giving their enemies clear invasion routes. Or with Israel simply getting over itself and just deal with the occasional Palestinian Riot, Rocket Attack, or Suicide-Bomber-on-a-Bus in a more holistic way. Yep, if we just sit down and have a heart-to-heart, and make a few concessions to homicidal maniacs with a 7th-century mindset, who believe the rain can be stolen, Peace will break out before you know it.

In case no one noticed, even the Palestinians admit they have no desire for Peace, and that any negotiation is simply a waste of time and air.

Why even bother with a Peace Process, if there's no Peace to get? Because it's easier than both telling the truth and dealing with the problem in a realistic way, that's why.

This Administration doesn't want to deal with the problem of Islamic terrorism...unless giving a terrorist a 9-mm. head ventilation job via Navy Seal gets you a bump in the polls...so it pretends that it doesn't exist. When it can't pretend the problem doesn't exist, it simply maintains that what we see and hear isn't what we THINK we see and hear, and we're mouth-breathing retards who just can't understand the barely-perceptible nuances.

John Kerry ran for President on that idea, and all it got him was a lifetime of being Tereza's Bitch because he'll never be able to pay her back the millions she spent on his failed effort.

The solution to the problem of Middle East Peace is to make certain the Muslims of the Middle East know what the price of continued conflict is: their death and the destruction of what passes for their mentally-constipated culture.

As soon as we get a President of these United States who will actually kill Muslims in the millions until they give up, we'll continue to have Presidents of these United States chase a phantom 'peace' between Israel and people who believe in raindrop conspiracies, and who will continue, wrongly, to insist that the problem is with the Jews -- who need to commit suicide -- and not with the other side.

Professor Hanson on Wrapping That Rascal...

Safe Sex and Taxes Are For the Little People.

I always go to The Perfesser for my Sexually-Deviant-and-Morally-Reprehensible posting needs. But he has a point, or three, here.

He usually does. He might be the smartest Man in America.

Good Lord, Make it Stop!

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Guess Who's Running For President...Again...

It's Hillary Clinton in all her cynical, pre-primary, re-positioning and re-packaging glory, all over again.

Expect her to resign as Secretary of State really, really soon. Trying to out-right the Right on National Security, though? What's that all about?

Maybe Barack Obama was wrong; you can put lipstick on a pig, -- but only if you believe you can continue to rely on the stupidity and short memories of the American Left, maybe? It only really requires....what was that phrase she used when she tried to grill General Petreus, again? Oh, right...A Willing Suspension of Disbelief.

I'm wondering if Hillary repaid all those debts from the last campaign yet, you know, the ones she had to solicit donations from people who already contributed to her lost campaign to pay off? Only in America could you spend the sort of (other-people's) money that a Presidential candidate is somehow obliged to spend, and then be able to beg for more (of the same people's money) to pay off your own debts.

Sounds like there's an awful lot in common between our politicians, AIG and GM. But, I digress...

Dissecting the 2008 primaries as best I can, it seems that Obama was originally the Ultra-Libtard attempt to get their views to the fore, because so far as they were concerned, Hillary Clinton was simply George W. Bush with a more masculine haircut. No one expected Obama to win so much as to bear the standard bearer of the demented Left. His 'job' was to put their issues on the table, and to warn 'centrist' dems (a contradiction in terms) that the Dingbat Wing of the party could not be taken for granted. Subsequent events, I think, have proven me correct in this assumption; bearing the last two years in mind, does it look like Barack Obama was ever prepared to be President of the United States, or that he ever expected to win?

What has resulted, from a policy perspective, both foreign and domestic, seems to indicate that no, he was not expecting town, and when he actually did, he had no plan. No vision. What Barack Obama actually did was to let Congress do his heavy lifting while he played golf and bought time to learn what being in charge actually means.

In retrospect, Hillary Clinton in the White House was far more preferable, even to a hardened republican like me, if only because if you gave me the choice between Prostate Cancer and Ebola, I'd take the Cancer every time. You can cut a cancer out. You can shrink a tumor. There's medicine for that.

Ebola just turns your insides into a bloody, pulpy, necrotic mess until your sphincter muscles finally rot out and the liquid remains of your guts flow out across the floor.

In any event, Clinton lost an election she had every opportunity to win. It's not like John McCain was the best the GOP could do, you know. Primarily, she lost for two major reasons;

a) She ran her campaign as if she had already won, as if the Office of President was her fucking birthright. She took the Victory Lap before the race even started. She did everything but measure the Oval Office windows for new curtains (on the off-chance the old ones might still have Bill's you-know-what all over them), and plan to return the silverware that she and Bill stole when the Bushes moved (back) in.

Politically, Hillary would have been Bush-like; she would have continued the War, she would have left Guantanamo open, she would have kept the Patriot Act (mostly so that she and Billy could abuse it for personal gain), she would not have advanced the same radical Health Care stupidity that parvenu Obama did. A Hillary Clinton Presidency would have seen someone who took it for granted that she could mollify the rabid left while playing the centrist on TV. She would, at least, not rocked the boat. A vote for Hillary was really a vote for the status quo, only with something like tits. if you were a Whackjob Lefty in 2008, Hillary Clinton was George W. Bush's third term.

It was also a part of her great misfortune that Americans had become so sick-and-tired of the usual bunch of morons treating the Office like a revolving door (the Bush Dynasty wasn't going to be followed by a Clinton Dynasty, if the electorate could help it), and of course, the Financial Meltdown occurred (conveniently, wouldn't you say?) in such a way as to knock the Old Guard in both parties so silly that they couldn't figure out just what to do -- except resort to their old stock response, which was to waste other people's money, pass useless 'reforms' after the fact, and then claim virtue. Hillary Clinton would still have voted for TARP, to bail out AIG, and nationalize GM, she would have done no more than the lesser amongst her (Obama and McCain) did.

If you were a democratic party voter in the fall of 2008, and your choice was between The Crusty Black Pantsuit who talked a good game, but lied to your face, and could be reasonably expected to simply continue Bush's policies with only minor, cosmetic changes, or the Slick Hipster 'Outsider' who had inspired you with lofty rhetoric and a thin resume, but who restored your deluded vision of the heady days of JFK, RFK and MLK, only with a Program of Reparations attached, who would you chose? Especially when the prevailing mood, in both parties, was to Throw the Bums Out?

Ironically, it was mantra of 'Hope', the very one uttered by Bill Clinton on 1991, that drove a stake through Hillary's heart in 2008. It's almost sad to see how badly that man's stench clings to her (I said 'almost'; Hillary Clinton has made her bed, and all that). It has since proven to be every bit as hollow and tinny now as it was in 1992, primarily because there is a huge chasm between the rhetoric and reality. Funny how history repeats itself, ain't it?

b) Hillary Clinton carried far too much baggage. About 200 pounds of it in the form of her husband. When you vote for a Clinton, as we all know, you get a two-fer. What sort of President would she have been with that (alleged) rapist and admitted perjurer hovering over her shoulder, whispering in her ear? A Vote for Hillary was actually a vote for Bill, for he would have been the real power behind the throne, and the Long National Nightmare that was the Clinton Administration would begin anew. As it was, Barack Obambi more or less brought the Clinton Administration back in all it's former glory for you, anyway (Rahm Emanuel, Leon Pannettta, Erskine Bowles, and about 90% of the lesser lights in that panoply of dim stars that was Camelot-on-Little-Rock), so we really did get 1992 all over again, only without it's principal actors.

It didn't really matter which democrat you voted for in 2008, anyway; you were still getting more of the same with abigger price tag, the only argument was over which figurehead was more attractive. Considering Hillary had more-or-less the same experience as Obama (neither has held a real job in their lives) there was no real distinction to be made between the two, other than novelty. And in a country that was in a desperate enough a situation, the Novelty Act spouting tried-and-failed communist boilerplate was seen as better than the Old-and-Tired spouting tried-and-failed communist boilerplate, especially when the Other Side was offering....what, exactly?

After all, your only other choice was to jump ship and...ewwww...vote for the obviously-confused McCain and the Hot-As-All-Hell-Librarian-who-Could-See-Russia-From-Her-House.

In the Great Pecking Order of Worthiest Victim Groups that is democratic (small 'd' intentional) politics, Hillary The Heir Apparent was stunned to learn that (half-) Black Man still trumped Woman Done Wrong By Cheating and Abusive Husband. That's how democrats usually vote, you know; they try to decide which candidate is the more historically-aggrieved minority. It's a pity they don't know any actual history. Anyways, Clinton only took the job of Secretary of State because it was the next, best thing; it gave her a serious job (junior Senator from a state you don't really live in is like being an unpaid intern, and besides, Schumer is an obnoxious boor), and it might even prove a springboard to future success.

Judging from the foreign policy mistakes of this Administration (ones that Hillary will be glad to tell you in the coming primary season were not her doing; she was simply following orders from above...yeah, like that worked at Nuremberg, too) that's not exactly something I would want on my resume. She will pull out her old 'Centrist Democrat' disguise -- something that barely exists anymore, thanks to the GOP-Tea Party romp in the 2010 Mid-Terms -- and run to Obama's right as a New-Old-Centrist-Blue-Dog Democrat (four lies for the price of one) while outhawking the GOP Hawks, and do her damndest to be as indistinguishable as the most centrist Republican come 2012. She'll trot out all the old Clinton Administration bromides with new bells and whistles, harken back to their supposed glories and virtues, cry once or twice for the cameras, and then triangulate her big, fat ass all the way back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, come Hell or High Water.

And you'll never see Bill anywhere near her...unless there's money to raise.

When Hillary Clinton, who voted for the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan before she voted against them, who all but called the General in Charge of those wars a liar, who decried the Surge strategy, and almost-religiously followed the Far Left line that the wars were lost, unwinniable, that Iraq was a 'quagmire' and Afghanistan a 'stalemate', suddenly becomes a defender of the national (in-)security establishment, you know something is rotten in the state of Denmark, or at least, in the State Department. The woman has been 'positioning' herself (again) for the last two years for another run at the White House.

Hillary doesn't really give a shit about national security; if she did, she'd be front-and-center in the fight against illegal immigration, and in the trenches for border security. She has been absent on both, because if you plan to run for President on the democratic party ticket you can't afford to offend all the illegal voters in California, your Mother Lode of illegal-alien-and-welfare-mother-supplied Electoral Votes --54 of them. That's 20% of the total required to be elected, you know.

Let's see if the American electorate can still be that stupid two Presidential elections in a row, and fall for someone who's so obviously a poser, or whether the 'Throw The Bums Out' fervor of the Tea Party and the Great Middle continues. Get yer popcorn, folks, there's gonna be a fight on the Left very soon.

Don't Believe Anything Hillary Clinton Has to Say..

Hillary Clinton Confirms She Has No Plan for Second Term.

She also says she's looking forward to "returning to private life".

Bullshit.She knows Obama is dead in the water, assuming no great miracle occurs between now and the end of the year that somehow saves his sorry ass. This woman was within striking distance of the Presidency in 2008, and you just know she's salivating at the prospect.

The only thing worse than a second Obama term would be a third Clinton term, either of them. Because when you get one of these people, the other one quickly slithers into the picture.

So THAT'S What He's Been Doing!

President Obama to "write" Children's Book... and be paid $1.9 million dollars.

I wonder if this catapults him into the category of "The Rich" now? It would be nice to see if he subjects his personal wealth to the same confiscatory policies that he advocates for everyone else.

You would think that a man who was elected to lead the Greatest Country on Earth would be a tad too busy for things like this, I mean, with all the time he spends giving Potemkin speeches before carefully-selected crowds, the vacations, the gala functions, the basketball and golf, I just don't know where he finds the time. Not that Obama himself is actually writing the thing himself; not even the most ardent Obamatard believes that.

It's just like making a speech: he'll just be attaching his name to someone else's words.

And someone will pay him nearly $2 million for it.

The unemployment rate is near 10%. Deficit spending is set to bankrupt the nation in a matter of a few years. The country is embroiled in two wars. We still live under the threat of Islamonazi terrorism. The Economy, where it hasn't been all-but-nationalized, is stuck in a curious state of inertia for a lack of leadership, good policies, and a clear understanding of the New Rules.

But somehow the President of the United States, when he isn't on vacation or a star-studded date night, has time to write kiddie books. Or to at least sign his name to one...and make a small fortune on it. The clearest indication that Barack Obama was never prepared to be President of the United States is all the time he spends not being President of the United States, and then the crass arrogance of taking $2 million bucks in a time of economic uncertainty.

An uncertainty, incidentally, which his own policies have largely created or exacerbated.

Yes, I know -- this book deal was signed before he became President, but it is unseemly and insensitive to the plight of the unemployed that he should accept $2 million dollars while in office. If George W. Bush had accepted $2 million while in office, for anything, you can rest assured that Obama would be there saying the same things I am, and denouncing him as a rich, elitist snob with no sense of decency or propriety.

At least Bill Clinton had the good taste to wait until he was out of office to get rich.

No! NO! Make it STOP!!!!!!!

Will this douchebag NEVER go away?

Bill Clinton Rebuts Maddow, Critics on the Left.

This line made me laugh:
　

Bill Clinton flashed irritation at MSNBC host Rachel Maddow and other liberals Monday for failing to appreciate the successes of his presidency.

Well, I lived through the Clinton years, and I'm still trying to figure
out what he means. So far as I'm concerned, Bill Clinton is the anti-Barack
Obama in this regard: the Bush the preceded HIM lefthim a world in which there was relative peace:the Reagan-Bush Team brought the Soviet Union to it's knees, and smacked Saddam Hussein around (albeit, the job was not completed). The economy was fairly good (not perfect, but not as catastrophically bad as the commentariat of the day made it out to be). Bill Clinton inherited an America where there were few problems at all, and which was poised to become wealthier than it could ever imagine.

He was fortunate in his political opponents: Newt Gingrich overreached,
and had more skeletons than a graveyard. Tom DeLay became a by-word for corruption (even if he wasn't a corrupt man, himself) and made very few friends. Ross Perot was there to play spoiler in two elections. Bob Dole was perhaps the worst presidential candidate -- until John McCain --imaginable, and it's no wonder he flogs Viagra for a livingnow. Clinton's crowning "achievement" of Welfare Reform, was a republican initiative foisted upon him by electoral fiat.

Kosovo was a War of Choice (to borrow the phrase the Leftards all apply
to Iraq), fought to protect Muslims against their Christian enemies. Fat lot of good that did us! American troops are still "occupying" Kosovo, incidentally, although Clinton said the Peacekeeping mission (a Peacekeeping mission which involved bombing a Chinese Embassy by mistake?) would only last a year. I wonder why no one on the Left marched against that war, and no one remembered to ask about "Exit Strategies"?

True, Bush I did leave Clinton the Somalia expedition ("Blackhawk Down"), but Clinton's administration skimped on supporting the troops (sending tanks was too expensive, you see), and decided to win hearts and minds before beating the snot out of the drug-fueled rape gangs in Mogadishu. American soldiers died on a mission sponsored by the United Nations, and had their bodies dragged through the streets.

Of course, when it came to bringing military force to bear upon AMERICANS, Bill and Janet Reno wrote the book at Waco. Just ask Elian Gonzolez, the seven-year-old taken by government stormtroopers from his family -- at gunpoint -- and sent to live under Fidel Castro.

Islamic terrorism was on the rise under Clinton, who's moral failings became public in ever-expanding scandals, so that the Muslim world saw him as a weak, profligate sexual deviant, unworthy of respect, and leading a decadent nation that deserved to be bombed, and not the leader of the world's sole remaining superpower. Terrorism came to America: the first World Trade Center Bombing, The Millennium Plots, any number of Allah-worshipping douchebags killing Jews in public places. Abroad, American embassies were targeted, and how can we forget the USS Cole? Even worse, his stupidity encouraged domestic terrorists (Timothy McVeigh) to perpetrate the deadliest terrorist event on American soil...until an at-liberty bin Laden got around to unleashing 9/11 upon us.

All Clinton did in response was to destroy an aspirin factory in Somalia, and his refusal to take custody of -- or assassinate -- Usama bin Laden something on the order of seven times, lead to the death of nearly 3,000 Americans on their own soil.

In the final analysis, Bill Clinton's only legacy is his wife. Take that for what it's worth.

When Leftards criticise a Clinton, it's usually because they saw in Bill -- the First Baby Boomer President --the chance to reclaim the Flower Power Hippie Dream of their (misspent) youth, and he singularly failed them in this regard. Not only that, but he made a mockery of all they believed in, especially Women's Rights, although the Feminists never seemed to abandon the (alleged) Rapist-in-Chief. Abused women never leave their man, you see. Those failures lead to Leftard frustration, and the frustration, eventually, led Lefties into the arms of Barack Obama -- who has probably done more to discredit that hippie dream and push it even farther into the unimagined future than even Clinton did.

And yet, Clinton prospers. He's gotten fabulously wealthy on the back of that Baby Boomer Dream, and sold them out. That's why they hate him so much.

Someone ought to tell this douchebag that he's should STFU and enjoy his retirement.

He's indeed fortunate not to be in a prison cell, or pushing up daisies for his past stupidity.

Let Them Eat Beets!

Have you ever been to Spain? I have. Lovely country. Ever been to Marbella? Supposed to be one of the most fantastic beaches in all of the Mediterranean. Personally, I prefer Barcelona, but that's just me.

Have you ever been to Marbella, Spain, taken an entourage that required 60 hotel rooms and Secret Service protection, a government airplane, all for your seventh or eighth vacation in less than six months, at the height of the summer season, and had the tab picked up by a combination of the American taxpayer and sycophantic douchebags who think they're buying political favors?

No? Never happened to you before in your life, you say?

That's probably because you're not Michelle Antoinette...err...Obama.

To be fair, she's not the first First Lady to take advantage of one of the perks of the office, and being able to spend other people's money mindlessly and with no sense of shame -- that's a disease that everyone in Washington has these days. Hillary Clinton did the World Tour bullshit when she was First Lady. She toured Africa (where they told her that all that stuff about it"taking a village" to raise a child was just a bit of quaint bullshit they just told the tourists),and India, where the red spot she put on her forehead for the photo ops wasn't just for show: it was an indication of her politics.

While the First Family gallivants around Martha's Vineyard and Spain, while the President plays more golf than Tiger Woods (and these days, apparently better than Tiger. All that practice is paying off!). When Il Doofay isn't taking staged-before-a-paid-off-audience victory laps for things he hasn't done, or driving a Chevy Volt a whole five feet -- a microcosm of the Obama Presidency if ever there was one; a car no one wants, at a price no one can afford, with a power source produced in a foreign country, made solely for the benefit of Coastal elites who want and need a visible sign of their devotion to the tenets of a bullshit-disguised-as-science-insanity -- his wife is pretty much doing the same.

It is a fascinating development, I think, that in the last few weeks, that we're seeing Michelle Obama an awful lot. It tells you that the Chosen One is probably taking an awful lot of heat for his lackluster performance, and that SOMEONE had to be trotted out to draw attention away from the so-called "Recovery Summer" disaster, and Joe Biden just wasn't cutting it anymore (probably because everyone already knows he's a lying sack of dogsqueeze, and so pay him no mind).

So, Obama does what he always does when he needs something to deflect attention from his own shortcomings and failures: he throws someone under the bus. This time, it's his wife, and she's probably willing to make this sacrifice -- after all, it's not as if she's actually proud to be an American or anything,and so doesn't seethings in quite the same way as the rest of us do. In her mind, all this vacationing and opulence is probably just her form of reparations.

All of a sudden, Michelle emerges from the fake vegetable garden to "advocate" -- to the tune of $4 billion dollars -- for healthier food in public schools (excuse me, but why aren't parents feeding their own damned kids? Oh, right...only the non-Taxpaying ones aren't), or to show her own obviously-expanding waistline while calling for the American people to eat healthier, or extolling the virtues of beets to CBS news, who apparently couldn't find anything else to cover that day.

Why not send the Mrs. --fresh off yet another round of vacations -- to Europe, send enough people to fill a five-star hotel with her, give the whole trip a semi-diplomatic shine, and start an argument about who's paying for it, just so people will stop talking about those annoying and niggling (OMG! Oh no you didn't) details that haunt Obama's every waking hour; you know, things like Unemployment Numbers, Illegal Immigration, Health Care plans that can't be paid for, and just the general lack of competence that simply oozes out of the walls of the Oval Office.

The need for such manufactured scandal is even more critical when you own both Houses of Congress, can't get anything passed by Congrescritters worried about keeping their jobs, and have to pretend that it's "obstructionist Republicans" that are keeping your agenda in check. That may work with minority voters who are too stupid to count, and your loyal fellow-travelers who can't be bothered to for political reasons, but it doesn't fly with everyone else anymore. The old tricks and rhetoric are all worn out; they're too familiar, and familiarity breeds contempt. You need to do something that gets people thinking about something other than what a nimrod you are as President.

And that's where this White House is oh-so-predictable, and oh-so-easy-to-read; when things go badly, start a minor scandal -- and then try to sell it as your opposition trying to "distract" The People from the"vital business" of the government...like the current plans to figure out how to put 12million Illegal Aliens on the voter rolls while making look as if you're NOT putting 12 million Illegal Aliens on the voter rolls, and advancing socialism as "saving the economy". Bill Clinton did this pretty much all the time Until it caught up with him, of course).

The difference was that Clinton's Arkansas Mafia was a large operation, with plenty of Friends of Bill available to fall on swords. Obama doesn't have that luxury. He had Reverend Wright, his White Grandmother and Van Jones, and now, the only one left to commit (figurative) suicide on his behalf before the American People is Michelle. Barack Obama ran out of Kamikazes right quick, didn't he?

And as long as she's going to make that sacrifice, she might as well do it in a Five-Star Spanish resort, complete with a Royal Visit, right?

Words I'd Thought I Would Never Type...

"Al Gore" and "Sex Scandal". In the same sentence. Allegedly.

Though I struggle not to form some mental picture of the Goremeister wrapped in a towel, rivulets of white, doughy flesh hanging over the tuck, my inner eye has just such an image burned into it. The very thought is profoundly disturbing, and if I don't keep my guard up, it pops, unbidden, back into my tortured mind and activates the gag reflex. I've thrown up into my own mouth so many times in the past week that no amount of toothpaste or Scope will wash away the lingering taste of involuntary bile. Even Cayenne and Jalapenos have not scoured the residue of nausea away.

The scene my subconscious insists on creating has me on the verge of committing a violent act, as if the release of all that pent up disgust and rage will somehow scrub the grey matter clean of the mental version of ring-around-the-tub. I shan't link to any of the stories floating on the Web because they'll only make you projectile vomit, but all the highlights of this sordid..ahem...affair (allegedly) are included. It's always the same unwanted vision running through the diseased landscape of my inner mind:

"...His swollen, puffy, corpulent body lay stretched out upon the masseuse table, face-down. A towel covers his flabbier parts, but he's still clenching his butt cheeks together in an attempt to leave the impression that there's still a few remnants of sinewy youth there beneath it all. His manly back, covered in a thick, Brillo-like fur, was glistening with scented oils and lotions. Somewhere in the background, Barry Manilow was softly playing; the Muzak of the Rutting Bore. Manilow knew how to make chicks cream. Al had selected it exactly for this purpose. The masseuse, a vision of early-middle-aged American womanhood -- thrice-divorced, a stray hair protruding from the mole on her chin, face frozen in a mask of permanent surprise from the combination of poor eyebrow-pencil skills and Botox, the Low-End-Store-Brand-Danny-Kaye-Auburn dye job -- leaned over the Beached Whale of an ex-Vice President in that starched, institutional-green smock that always turned him on because it reminded him so of the Good Old Days of Soviet Communism. She was rubbing away the knots and strains of the rough-and-tumble universe of The Sanctimonious Bullshit World Tour, and the absolute Roman-Coliseum Fishbowl that was the Modern Indulgence Selling that used to characterize much of pre-Reformation Christianity, but which still smelled slightly enough of capitalism that the rubes hardly even noticed.

Her strong hands, much like her donkey-like Slavic ankles, swollen from so much water-retention that she had been unable to file the Last Wedding Ring from her finger -- even though her last divorce was finalized five years before -- found a tender spot. The Gorebot winced momentarily, and then relaxed as her expert digits rubbed the tension away. He sighed, a sound that was almost half-seal-bark-half-phlegmy-rattle. She paused to pluck an errant, wire-stiff back hair or two from under her fingernail, and in that moment, the former Vice-President-in-Litigation made his move. With a great deal of grunting but less struggle than usual he had turned over on the table, and a hint of his manhood became visible as a bump under the hospital-white towel, like a miniature Washington Monument caught beneath the the thick, cold layers of another Ice Age. But that was an illusion: were it not for the triple-layered rolls of belly fat that slid past his waistline and sloughed off between his spongy, varicose-veined thighs, there just might be a whole whopping four, perhaps four-and-a quarter, inches of pulsing Inconvenient Truth lurking beneath that linen.

She was taken aback. She caught her breath, a staccato-sigh of surprise, nay, perhaps even fear. She tried not to look, but couldn't help herself; for even laying down the Vice-President's boobs were strangely bigger than her own, with great, fleshy, earth-toned nipples and the same thick, stiff hairs pointing out of them. They strangely reminded her of Sputnik for a moment, and she was caught in a web of confusion, embarrassment...and lust? She flushed and appeared faint, the first sign of the coming glow of perspiration began to darken the smock beneath her armpits. Her slightly fried-onion-y underarm scent aroused him further -- but this hunter liked to play with his prey first.

"They all react that way...at first", said Al. His dark eyes looked into hers. They were hypnotic, but she could not decide if it was because he was such a magnificent specimen of Old-Money-Hypocrite-middle-aged pork, or because even when he spoke in short sentences he was still such a dashing figure of bone-crushing boredom and banality. She stepped away from the table, but he grabbed her wrist -- gently-yet-firmly and still somehow clammy-and-slimy. She was strangely aroused and repulsed, all at once.

" You know", Al begins., "I was the Inspiration for Love Story..."

Her Drug-store false eyelashes fluttered, her face reddened, and she nervously licked at her lips. Al knew that he had her now; they all fell for that line. Tipper fell hard for it --- that and the inherited Controlling Interest in Standard Oil. So did that Naomi Wolff, that little vixen. He began to remember fondly the six...no...seven whole minutes he had held Naomi in the sodden grip of flop-sweaty passion. It had been his crowning achievement, and had infused him with a sense of manhood that he had not felt since the days when he was writing for Stars and Stripes and pretending to be fighting the War in Vietnam until Daddy could pull enough strings. He remembered the blazing fire of the assault upon Tipper's head on the campaign trail, when he appeared so passionate and devoted to her that he almost sucked her into his being as if he were sucking the Bavarian Cream from the center of a doughnut.

Yes...panting feminists and women in prisons everywhere around the world mailed him their soiled underwear for months after that. Not even Clinton got that sort of love. But that was all in the past; the future, for at least the next three-to-five minutes -- more if he could manage to contain the raging Beast Totem in the Towel -- was now there before him. She was panting now, her chest ( with one breast hanging four inches below the other, and the thick, reinforced underwire of her brassiere became visible beneath the fabric ("Steel-Belted Radials", All liked to call those. He wondered, "Front-loader or back-loader?) was heaving like the stormy North Atlantic.

The Goremeister had caused a Storm in her Maidenforms. She was dead in his sights now.

"Don't be afraid, Yummymuffins. I may have invented the Internet, but no one will know of our passion. It will be OUR guilty secret...".

She wilted at that, delivered as it was with a slight Southern drawl and that sibilant-yet-slightly-effeminate "s" of his. She was now all his. He pulled her closer and began to negotiate the towel so that his throbbing, massive-relative-to-your-average-cocker-spaniel Pelvis Bazooka -- the Green Hornet, as he liked to call it -- could be unleashed in all of it's glory. Yes...she was well-and-truly his, and She would be yet another notch in his ever-expanding belt. There was a flash, like lightning. A quick stirring in his loins, an explosion of ecstasy that caused white-hot spots to float before his eyes, and which made him slightly dizzy thanks to the Watered-Down-Canadian-Healthcare System Viagra he had been taking, and he had marked her forever with a hot load of Environmentally-friendly Man-Milk...all over that sexy-as-a-Phony-Carbon-Credit-Sold-Under-False-Pretenses (allegedly) starched smock. "Mark your territory well", Bill had always told him. It was a valuable lesson. He held her gaze for another seven, maybe ten seconds, so that she could bask in the afterglow. All women needed to bask. Al knew this, being the quiet, passionate, unselfish type who always saw to a woman's needs.

"I'll bet you keep that smock forever, Snugglelumps. No one does it like ManBearPig". She sighed, and was about to speak. "No...not another word about it", he said as he pressed his thoroughly-gooey finger gently across her lips. "We must part now, and keep our Runaway Passion a secret, for those parts of the planet that manage to avoid being flooded by sea-level rise, de-forested by the Inhumanity of Mankind, the shores piled waist-deep in drowned polar bears, all destroyed in the Name of the Internal Combustion Engine, burned to the ground by Acid Rain, or frosted over by the Next Ice Age could never understand what passes between us...".

With that, Al Gore, The Love-em-and-Leave-'Em Ambassador of Mother Gaia, wiped his sexed-up hand upon her cheek, hitched his towel back into place, and in a motion that was reminiscent of a crippled walrus trying to refloat itself from a shingle beach, swung the massive U.S.D.A. Grade-A hamhocks he called legs off the table, and waddled to the door, leaving a tangled mat of greasy back hairs on the smooth, vinyl surface of the table. An Oil Slick of Romance. He paused to give her one last, piercing come-hither look from his watery-yet-still-somehow-smouldering eyes, that bulged out from beneath his Just-for-Men-treated eyebrows, only to find that she was vomiting copiously upon the floor.

It was always the same. Al always had that effect on women; he made them all sooooo fucking hot -- hotter than a rapidly-heating atmosphere burdened with the excess carbon dioxide of a civilization intent upon it's own doom -- that their bodies just could not withstand the onslaught. Now that his Inner-Beast had been Unleashed, he set about seeking more nubile prey. There must be a sixty-plus-year-old T.V. satirist's wife just dying to be Gored by Gore...."

And now you know why I've been puking for a week...

Me and my goddamned imagination! I won't sleep for a year.