I had occasion to accompany Tess to the New York City Department of Vital Records, yesterday, in an effort to recover some very important and necessary documentation, and was treated to a first-hand experience of just how stupid and quite redundant most public union...ahem...workers...are.
That picture on the left? That's a Rube Goldberg. For those who were born under rocks -- or after X-box, which is sort of the same thing -- Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist who used to create images of the most outrageous machines that performed the simplest of everyday tasks. The point was to go to an extreme to avoid doing something simple and mundane. This one shows a machine that wipes somebody's mouth without them having to dirty their hands. This fairly describes the Bureaucracy of the City of New York: why work efficiently when you can add so many complicated steps to the process? And employ a lot of seemingly useless people while you're at it?
After all, it's only TAXPAYER MONEY, right?
Insanity is not a disease; it's a defense mechanism.The opinions expressed here are disturbing and often disgusting to those with no sense of humor. I make no apologies for them, either. Contact the Lunatic at Excelsior502@gmail.com.
Showing posts with label New York City. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York City. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Friday, November 01, 2013
Poor People Suck, Part III...
...the Halloween Edition.
I usually hate Halloween. As a kid, I guess I found it pretty cool -- free candy! -- but as the years passed and I got older, I found the whole idea of dressing up in costumes, partying until I puked, and putting on an extra 15 pounds of Butterfinger fat something not worth the time and effort.
And then there's all the stupid little chores that go with celebrating Halloween -- carving Jack-o-Lanterns, putting up macabre decorations, and the subsequent cleanup after both -- that make this holiday a royal pain in the posterior. I feel the same way about Christmas, on a certain level; I hate putting up Christmas trees, and decorating them, and getting up on ladders to staple strings of lights to the house. I cannot stand life-sized plastic Santas (with reindeer) that light up and have this creepy, Made-in-China sound box that makes Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho! sound like your grandfather suddenly remembering he has a hernia.
Although I must say, I DO enjoy dressing up as Santa for the little kids in my family, and for my cousin's friends, which I have done for many years. Go figure.
I usually hate Halloween. As a kid, I guess I found it pretty cool -- free candy! -- but as the years passed and I got older, I found the whole idea of dressing up in costumes, partying until I puked, and putting on an extra 15 pounds of Butterfinger fat something not worth the time and effort.
And then there's all the stupid little chores that go with celebrating Halloween -- carving Jack-o-Lanterns, putting up macabre decorations, and the subsequent cleanup after both -- that make this holiday a royal pain in the posterior. I feel the same way about Christmas, on a certain level; I hate putting up Christmas trees, and decorating them, and getting up on ladders to staple strings of lights to the house. I cannot stand life-sized plastic Santas (with reindeer) that light up and have this creepy, Made-in-China sound box that makes Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho! sound like your grandfather suddenly remembering he has a hernia.
Although I must say, I DO enjoy dressing up as Santa for the little kids in my family, and for my cousin's friends, which I have done for many years. Go figure.
Saturday, October 05, 2013
Poor People Suck, Part II...
The Scene: Your Intrepid Lunatic is in the local supermarket, doing his weekly grocery shopping. This mundane and ordinary activity (which he actually enjoys) is interrupted by the arrival of the Scourge of America: the single welfare mother with a brace of obnoxious children, armed with an EBT card. What follows is both disturbing and frightening. It is a microcosm of the future which would make one sick, if one could muster up enough concern to actually give a shit.
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Poor People Suck, Part I...
I was reminded of this truism again yesterday after a trip on a New York City bus.
I needed to get to the Staten Island Ferry yesterday to keep an appointment in Manhattan. The fastest way, actually the ONLY way that doesn't involve calling a taxi, from my home is to take the S61 bus down Victory Boulevard to Bay Street, and thus, to the Ferry. During rush hour, this can take upwards of 40 minutes, but since it was 10:30 a.m. the trip should have been significantly faster for the lighter traffic and relative lack of commuters.
It was not to be...
I needed to get to the Staten Island Ferry yesterday to keep an appointment in Manhattan. The fastest way, actually the ONLY way that doesn't involve calling a taxi, from my home is to take the S61 bus down Victory Boulevard to Bay Street, and thus, to the Ferry. During rush hour, this can take upwards of 40 minutes, but since it was 10:30 a.m. the trip should have been significantly faster for the lighter traffic and relative lack of commuters.
It was not to be...
Monday, September 23, 2013
The Bureaucracy Strikes Back...
Sometimes, you just have to wonder what the fuck it is that we're getting for our tax dollars.
If you live in the State of New Yorkistan, I would say you're getting jack shit. And when I say this, I should clarify:
1. We are NOT getting a government that works smoothly and efficiently.
2. We ARE getting a government which is apparently run by rhesus monkeys who, on a good day, might be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight..
The long, sordid, and all-too-sickening tale of this Lunatics battle with the mindless bureaucracy of the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles seemed to have the proverbial light at the end of that tunnel. But, alas!, the rhesus monkeys have found a way to annoy me yet again.
If you haven't heard this story before, then I suggest that you read this, this, and this, and then you'll be up to speed with this entire tale of woe.
And then you'll probably want to either laugh or vomit. Probably both.
If you live in the State of New Yorkistan, I would say you're getting jack shit. And when I say this, I should clarify:
1. We are NOT getting a government that works smoothly and efficiently.
2. We ARE getting a government which is apparently run by rhesus monkeys who, on a good day, might be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight..
The long, sordid, and all-too-sickening tale of this Lunatics battle with the mindless bureaucracy of the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles seemed to have the proverbial light at the end of that tunnel. But, alas!, the rhesus monkeys have found a way to annoy me yet again.
If you haven't heard this story before, then I suggest that you read this, this, and this, and then you'll be up to speed with this entire tale of woe.
And then you'll probably want to either laugh or vomit. Probably both.
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Weiner, Spitzer..There's a Blowjob Joke in There, Somewhere...
I would like to post an open letter to the voters of New York City.
I'm quite worried that many of you will do something so unthinkable, so mind-bogglingly stupid, so counter to your own interests, and actually take seriously the candidacy for public office (or should we say Orifice?) of one Anthony Weiner, infamous Twitter Dick Pic distributor, and one Elliot Spitzer, notorious Sex-with-a-hooker-while-wearing-black-socks aficionado.
I'm quite worried that many of you will do something so unthinkable, so mind-bogglingly stupid, so counter to your own interests, and actually take seriously the candidacy for public office (or should we say Orifice?) of one Anthony Weiner, infamous Twitter Dick Pic distributor, and one Elliot Spitzer, notorious Sex-with-a-hooker-while-wearing-black-socks aficionado.
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
Of Bicycles and Horny Moose...
Two totally unrelated stories that I will quickly...ummm...relate...for you by the time this is finished.
Really, I promise!
The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.
Really, I promise!
The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Lunatic: 1, Bureaucracy: 0
Oh, happy day! It has finally happened! I have finally been able to prove to the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, unionized high school dropouts at the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles that I, your humble correspondent, do exist!
I have just received my brand, spankin' new New York State Photo identification card. The one I've been seeking like it was the Holy Fuckin' Grail for five years now. If you're not familiar with my trials and tribulations on this subject, you can read about them here and here.
I'll wait until you're up to speed....
I have just received my brand, spankin' new New York State Photo identification card. The one I've been seeking like it was the Holy Fuckin' Grail for five years now. If you're not familiar with my trials and tribulations on this subject, you can read about them here and here.
I'll wait until you're up to speed....
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Of Bombers, Rapists, and Immigration Reform...
By now, everyone knows these photographs; they are of the (alleged) Boston Marathon Bombers, Chechen immigrants who came to America and somehow found it necessary, for reasons yet to be discerned, to plant shrapnel bombs that killed three and wounded another 180.
They then, as you know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.
They then, as you know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Just What Staten Island Needs...
...like a hole in the collective fuckin' head. Pictured here is an artist's rendition of the newest pile of steaming dogcrap to emerge from the fevered imaginations of New York City pols, and their sycophantic douchebag lapdogs, the real estate developers.
Whenever there's this sort of stupidity proposed for New York City, you can bet your bottom dollar that a real estate developer came up with the idea, and he's spread enough money around the halls of power to get it taken seriously.
Only in this case, the real estate developer is shocked to discover that no matter how much money he's put into some politician's pocket, they somehow turn out to be the worst business partners one can imagine. Fuck him, serves him right.
Whenever there's this sort of stupidity proposed for New York City, you can bet your bottom dollar that a real estate developer came up with the idea, and he's spread enough money around the halls of power to get it taken seriously.
Only in this case, the real estate developer is shocked to discover that no matter how much money he's put into some politician's pocket, they somehow turn out to be the worst business partners one can imagine. Fuck him, serves him right.
Par For The Course In New Yorkistan...
Shocker: Dem and GOP pols caught in bribery scam to get Dem elected Mayor of New York City on GOP ticket...
Now, what's so shocking is not that a democrat would try to bribe his or her way into office;they do this all the time, as a matter of course. Especially in a place like New York, Chicago, Detroit or Washington, D.C., because the sort of democrat those places seem to breed would never see a democrat elected if he/she had to rely on, oh...their wits, or telling the truth.
Now, what's so shocking is not that a democrat would try to bribe his or her way into office;they do this all the time, as a matter of course. Especially in a place like New York, Chicago, Detroit or Washington, D.C., because the sort of democrat those places seem to breed would never see a democrat elected if he/she had to rely on, oh...their wits, or telling the truth.
Friday, November 02, 2012
Staten Island is the New New Orleans...
I will be updating this post periodically today.
The picture at left is an oil lighter that was lifted by a storm surge right out of New York Harbor during Hurricane Sandy, and dropped on the shoreline near the town of Stapleton (which in case you didn't know, was once home to the Staten Island Stapletons of the National Football League).This ship is now apparently leaking residual oil left in it's tanks, leaving the neighborhood awash in fuel oil, with a potential time bomb ticking near populated areas.
In addition, there is now a report of more leaking tankers and a potential oil spill in the Arthur Kill, along Staten Island's shared shoreline with New Jersey.
NBC News with video and report of the damage on Staten Island. This will break your heart.
Here's a mini slide show of the damage done to Staten Island by Sandy.
======================================================================
Seen on the streets of my old neighborhood of New Dorp, yesterday:
A van bearing Massachusetts license plates pulls up to storm-ravaged Cedar Grove. Six people get out, and start videotaping and taking still photos of the storm damage. They are not wearing Press badges, and are apparently tourists who either deliberately made the trip down to New York City to see the damage, or tourists who were caught in New York during the storm.
They are asked by someone actively helping a neighbor in distress (that would be my sister, who has been in Cedar Grove every goddamned day since the storm ended helping her girlfriend who has lost her house clean up and salvage anything possible) if they are there to help or "just take fucking pictures...". The photographers respond that they are there to help. At which point, my sister asks them, "well, what do you have in that van?".
The photographers tell her that they have just been shopping, and they have bought brand new blankets and bedding, at which point my sister demands that they turn it over to her, seeing as how there's people in this neighborhood without so much as a blanket, and because my sister can be one tough, scary bitch when she's pissed off, they comply. Whereupon, they got back in their van and fled. My sister then distributed the blankets to some people in the neighborhood.
One question: There is no gasoline in these parts, and the only two stations that I know of capable of pumping gas at this time have long lines of cars waiting for fuel, and are limiting customers to $40 of gas, total. Where did these people get gasoline to come sightsee in other people's misery, one wonders?
Also seen on Staten Island: roving scrap metal salvage trucks pulling right up to storm-devastated homes, and asking the owners if they can haul off this or that bit of twisted metal, often as these people are trying to save whatever they can from the flooded pile of kindling they used to call "home". Many are just taking whatever they think they can get away with, and I'm told that some are offering to take the scrap away "for free" -- like it's some kind of public service? -- without compensating anyone. Average price of scrap aluminum this morning? $2.10/pound. Weight of aluminum siding on the average home? About 1/3 of a pound, per square foot. These guys are becoming a nuisance, and are interfering in recovery efforts. In some instances, they are making conditions more dangerous, as pulling scrap metal out of a pile of debris can often cause further collapses.
In other post-Hurricane Staten Island News:
Mayor Bloomdouche, the absolutely worst Mayor ever, has decided that it is more important to reposition police, fire and other emergency services to support this Sunday's NYC Marathon (which begins on Staten Island at the Verrazano Narrows Bridge) than it is to keep them on duty helping people recover from a natural disaster.
Update: The Marathon has been cancelled! Finally, someone grew a fucking brain in Gracie Mansion, or maybe it was the tremendous public outcry? Who cares: the last thing we needed was 50,000 skinny, mostly-white, yuppies running around, passing out ion the streets, and shitting their pants.
Staten Island may Become Obama's Katrina: This sort of crass stupidity is par for the course for our Mayor, who up until now has busied himself with keeping the Outer Borough Proles out of Manhattan, making sure we don't have too much salt in our street meat, and eradicating the deadly threat of 32-oz. sodas. Bloomdouche may have once called himself a Republican, but he has always been a Nanny-state-loving, died-in-the-wool, tell-you-all-how-to-live Libtard of epic proportions. This proves it. Nero fiddled wile Rome burned, Bloomberg diddles while New York Drowns and Starves. if you ever needed more proof as to why Liberals need to be checked, you have now had three glaring examples in the last 17 years: Nagin spent the early portion of Katrina in a fetal-position panic attack, Bloomberg worries about the Marathon and fat welfare recipients while his city is hammered by a hurricane, and Obama toured the ravaged Jersey Shore for a photo op and then headed to Las Vegas for another fundraiser.
By the way, there are more people on Staten Island -- a single borough of New York City -- than there ever were in New Orleans. That's almost 500,000 people crammed onto a 12-by-7 mile-long island, but we're mostly white, and there's a democrat in the White House, so no one gives a shit.
Update: Bloomberg is about to get his Marie Antoinette treatment, as people in Brooklyn and Staten Island are approaching full boil because of the Mayor's decision to go ahead with Sunday's marathon.
And here, Bloomberg is being compared to New Orleans helpless and hapless Mayor, Ray Nagin. And not in a flattering way, either. Hey, at least Nagin eventually left his fancy hotel room to walk through the muck.
In the meantime, pleas for help, for food, water and clothing go unheeded, and there are threats of riot in the air here in Staten Island, especially after the bodies of two young boys (ages 4 and 2), swept out of their mother's arms by a surging tide, were finally found.
Another article on Bloomberg's fucked up priorities: desperately-needed generators being diverted to Marathon pre-race set up. This is occurring while Bellvue Hospital is evacuating patients due to lack of power.
Update: here's a link to the story on the two Lost Boys. Rumor has it that a relative denied their mother shelter as she tried to avoid the storm, and some reports say it was local residents --not relatives -- but no one is quite certain. Stay tuned, because this story is one to turn your stomachs.
The Red Cross hasn't even been here yet.
More tragic news: Hero cops saves family, then drowns in his own basement.
Just as soon as I get the information, I'll be posting some links where you can donate to help relief efforts in the Forgotten Borough of New York City, In the meantime, you can donate cash, food, clothing and anything you think people might need to the Salvation Army , The American Red Cross, and Catholic Charities, which all have good track records with providing aid just as quickly as they can.
Some Good News: Local Hotellier will not displace those left homeless by Sandy. When this is all over, someone had better nominate Richard Nicotra for sainthood. He is a shining example of how private citizens utilizing their own resources are better at helping their neighbors in need than any government.
Update: You'll be happy to know that Katie Holmes and her daughter, Suri, managed to escape their multi-million dollar Chelsea apartment last night, for better digs with electricity, running water, and no floating bodies of dead animals, a condition only the peasants of Staten Island should have to suffer. It's a fucking waste of newsprint to follow the lives of the super-famous and super-wealthy, while others are suffering.You people who worship celebrutards should be taken out and shot, as you are poison to the gene pool.
Update from New Jersey: Unionized utility workers have raised holy hell that non-union workers from out -of-state have been asked to come and restore power to some 4 million New Jerseians (like my aunt in Netcong) currently without power and water services, because Heaven Forbid overpaid union dumbasses don't have an opportunity to milk the double-and-triple overtime cash cow during a natural disaster.
Because it's not truly a disaster until Chuck Schumer shows up: Senator Dingleberry arrives and immediately patronizes a Staten Island woman in front of her storm-damaged home. They say the most dangerous place on Earth is between Chuck Schumer and a television camera. Perhaps this dash to the kleig lights will finally spell the end of this national embarrassment. New York has the absolute WORST Congressional delegation in America. If they aren't merely corrupt, then they're clueless and condescending. Not to be left out, Senator Placeholder, Kirsten Gillbrand, also made an appearance, if only to get her face on television, too, because she's otherwise about as useful as tits on a bull.
One wonders how many cops were needed to escort Senator Asshole around so he could get his picture taken?
The picture at left is an oil lighter that was lifted by a storm surge right out of New York Harbor during Hurricane Sandy, and dropped on the shoreline near the town of Stapleton (which in case you didn't know, was once home to the Staten Island Stapletons of the National Football League).This ship is now apparently leaking residual oil left in it's tanks, leaving the neighborhood awash in fuel oil, with a potential time bomb ticking near populated areas.
In addition, there is now a report of more leaking tankers and a potential oil spill in the Arthur Kill, along Staten Island's shared shoreline with New Jersey.
NBC News with video and report of the damage on Staten Island. This will break your heart.
Here's a mini slide show of the damage done to Staten Island by Sandy.
======================================================================
Seen on the streets of my old neighborhood of New Dorp, yesterday:
A van bearing Massachusetts license plates pulls up to storm-ravaged Cedar Grove. Six people get out, and start videotaping and taking still photos of the storm damage. They are not wearing Press badges, and are apparently tourists who either deliberately made the trip down to New York City to see the damage, or tourists who were caught in New York during the storm.
They are asked by someone actively helping a neighbor in distress (that would be my sister, who has been in Cedar Grove every goddamned day since the storm ended helping her girlfriend who has lost her house clean up and salvage anything possible) if they are there to help or "just take fucking pictures...". The photographers respond that they are there to help. At which point, my sister asks them, "well, what do you have in that van?".
The photographers tell her that they have just been shopping, and they have bought brand new blankets and bedding, at which point my sister demands that they turn it over to her, seeing as how there's people in this neighborhood without so much as a blanket, and because my sister can be one tough, scary bitch when she's pissed off, they comply. Whereupon, they got back in their van and fled. My sister then distributed the blankets to some people in the neighborhood.
One question: There is no gasoline in these parts, and the only two stations that I know of capable of pumping gas at this time have long lines of cars waiting for fuel, and are limiting customers to $40 of gas, total. Where did these people get gasoline to come sightsee in other people's misery, one wonders?
Also seen on Staten Island: roving scrap metal salvage trucks pulling right up to storm-devastated homes, and asking the owners if they can haul off this or that bit of twisted metal, often as these people are trying to save whatever they can from the flooded pile of kindling they used to call "home". Many are just taking whatever they think they can get away with, and I'm told that some are offering to take the scrap away "for free" -- like it's some kind of public service? -- without compensating anyone. Average price of scrap aluminum this morning? $2.10/pound. Weight of aluminum siding on the average home? About 1/3 of a pound, per square foot. These guys are becoming a nuisance, and are interfering in recovery efforts. In some instances, they are making conditions more dangerous, as pulling scrap metal out of a pile of debris can often cause further collapses.
In other post-Hurricane Staten Island News:
Mayor Bloomdouche, the absolutely worst Mayor ever, has decided that it is more important to reposition police, fire and other emergency services to support this Sunday's NYC Marathon (which begins on Staten Island at the Verrazano Narrows Bridge) than it is to keep them on duty helping people recover from a natural disaster.
Update: The Marathon has been cancelled! Finally, someone grew a fucking brain in Gracie Mansion, or maybe it was the tremendous public outcry? Who cares: the last thing we needed was 50,000 skinny, mostly-white, yuppies running around, passing out ion the streets, and shitting their pants.
Staten Island may Become Obama's Katrina: This sort of crass stupidity is par for the course for our Mayor, who up until now has busied himself with keeping the Outer Borough Proles out of Manhattan, making sure we don't have too much salt in our street meat, and eradicating the deadly threat of 32-oz. sodas. Bloomdouche may have once called himself a Republican, but he has always been a Nanny-state-loving, died-in-the-wool, tell-you-all-how-to-live Libtard of epic proportions. This proves it. Nero fiddled wile Rome burned, Bloomberg diddles while New York Drowns and Starves. if you ever needed more proof as to why Liberals need to be checked, you have now had three glaring examples in the last 17 years: Nagin spent the early portion of Katrina in a fetal-position panic attack, Bloomberg worries about the Marathon and fat welfare recipients while his city is hammered by a hurricane, and Obama toured the ravaged Jersey Shore for a photo op and then headed to Las Vegas for another fundraiser.
By the way, there are more people on Staten Island -- a single borough of New York City -- than there ever were in New Orleans. That's almost 500,000 people crammed onto a 12-by-7 mile-long island, but we're mostly white, and there's a democrat in the White House, so no one gives a shit.
Update: Bloomberg is about to get his Marie Antoinette treatment, as people in Brooklyn and Staten Island are approaching full boil because of the Mayor's decision to go ahead with Sunday's marathon.
And here, Bloomberg is being compared to New Orleans helpless and hapless Mayor, Ray Nagin. And not in a flattering way, either. Hey, at least Nagin eventually left his fancy hotel room to walk through the muck.
In the meantime, pleas for help, for food, water and clothing go unheeded, and there are threats of riot in the air here in Staten Island, especially after the bodies of two young boys (ages 4 and 2), swept out of their mother's arms by a surging tide, were finally found.
Another article on Bloomberg's fucked up priorities: desperately-needed generators being diverted to Marathon pre-race set up. This is occurring while Bellvue Hospital is evacuating patients due to lack of power.
Update: here's a link to the story on the two Lost Boys. Rumor has it that a relative denied their mother shelter as she tried to avoid the storm, and some reports say it was local residents --not relatives -- but no one is quite certain. Stay tuned, because this story is one to turn your stomachs.
The Red Cross hasn't even been here yet.
More tragic news: Hero cops saves family, then drowns in his own basement.
Just as soon as I get the information, I'll be posting some links where you can donate to help relief efforts in the Forgotten Borough of New York City, In the meantime, you can donate cash, food, clothing and anything you think people might need to the Salvation Army , The American Red Cross, and Catholic Charities, which all have good track records with providing aid just as quickly as they can.
Some Good News: Local Hotellier will not displace those left homeless by Sandy. When this is all over, someone had better nominate Richard Nicotra for sainthood. He is a shining example of how private citizens utilizing their own resources are better at helping their neighbors in need than any government.
Update: You'll be happy to know that Katie Holmes and her daughter, Suri, managed to escape their multi-million dollar Chelsea apartment last night, for better digs with electricity, running water, and no floating bodies of dead animals, a condition only the peasants of Staten Island should have to suffer. It's a fucking waste of newsprint to follow the lives of the super-famous and super-wealthy, while others are suffering.You people who worship celebrutards should be taken out and shot, as you are poison to the gene pool.
Update from New Jersey: Unionized utility workers have raised holy hell that non-union workers from out -of-state have been asked to come and restore power to some 4 million New Jerseians (like my aunt in Netcong) currently without power and water services, because Heaven Forbid overpaid union dumbasses don't have an opportunity to milk the double-and-triple overtime cash cow during a natural disaster.
Because it's not truly a disaster until Chuck Schumer shows up: Senator Dingleberry arrives and immediately patronizes a Staten Island woman in front of her storm-damaged home. They say the most dangerous place on Earth is between Chuck Schumer and a television camera. Perhaps this dash to the kleig lights will finally spell the end of this national embarrassment. New York has the absolute WORST Congressional delegation in America. If they aren't merely corrupt, then they're clueless and condescending. Not to be left out, Senator Placeholder, Kirsten Gillbrand, also made an appearance, if only to get her face on television, too, because she's otherwise about as useful as tits on a bull.
One wonders how many cops were needed to escort Senator Asshole around so he could get his picture taken?
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Hurricane Sandy: The Aftermath...
Things have been a bit hectic around Lunatic Central these last few days because of Hurricane Sandy. We were without power here for nearly three days, but things are slowly returning to normal. Posting will be extremely light for a bit, as there's some cleanup and house repairs that need to be seen to, and I will have very little time for this sort of tomfoolery.
Even at that, we here at The Lunatic's Asylum were extremely fortunate; being up on higher ground, and protected from the worst of the wind by the hills around here, we still have a house. We weren't flooded out, and the loss of power and phone service for a few days was a minor inconvenience compared to what some others have suffered from this storm. We ask that you remember these folks in your prayers, and that you maybe open your wallets and make a donation to the Red Cross to help those who are currently homeless, injured, and hungry.
We realize things are tight for everyone these days and if you can't fork over $10 or $20, then some charities are accepting all sorts of other aid: old clothing, blankets, tools, food donations, anything that can be used to help a few folks fill a belly for a night, keep warm, or rebuild a home or neighborhood. If you can find something buried in a closet that someone might get some use out of, then please, find a way to get it to them. You can make most donations of this sort to your local Salvation Army, or at your local firehouse and police station; they'll make sure that someone who needs it, gets it.
Even at that, we here at The Lunatic's Asylum were extremely fortunate; being up on higher ground, and protected from the worst of the wind by the hills around here, we still have a house. We weren't flooded out, and the loss of power and phone service for a few days was a minor inconvenience compared to what some others have suffered from this storm. We ask that you remember these folks in your prayers, and that you maybe open your wallets and make a donation to the Red Cross to help those who are currently homeless, injured, and hungry.
We realize things are tight for everyone these days and if you can't fork over $10 or $20, then some charities are accepting all sorts of other aid: old clothing, blankets, tools, food donations, anything that can be used to help a few folks fill a belly for a night, keep warm, or rebuild a home or neighborhood. If you can find something buried in a closet that someone might get some use out of, then please, find a way to get it to them. You can make most donations of this sort to your local Salvation Army, or at your local firehouse and police station; they'll make sure that someone who needs it, gets it.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
The Government and Your Storm Door...
One of the loudest battle cries of the modern Republican is Get The Government Out of People's Lives. The logic behind this motto is that over several decades -- some would say as far back as the Woodrow Wilson administration, but in any case, at least as far back as FDR's tenure -- that government has taken it upon itself to "do things" that government, strictly speaking, has no Constitutional Right to do.
Typically, this slogan is applied to specific areas of American Life, like the Social Welfare patchwork, the regulation of commerce and Environmental regulations, that are often onerous, nonsensical, contradictory, and sometimes just plain dumb. I happen to agree with much of this sentiment, but for the purposes of this screed, it will not be necessary to talk about the Cradle-to-grave aspirations of some sectors of Government at all levels. That's for another conversation.
What we're talking about today is the questionable level of government interference in something as simple a putting a new goddamned storm door on your house.
Typically, this slogan is applied to specific areas of American Life, like the Social Welfare patchwork, the regulation of commerce and Environmental regulations, that are often onerous, nonsensical, contradictory, and sometimes just plain dumb. I happen to agree with much of this sentiment, but for the purposes of this screed, it will not be necessary to talk about the Cradle-to-grave aspirations of some sectors of Government at all levels. That's for another conversation.
What we're talking about today is the questionable level of government interference in something as simple a putting a new goddamned storm door on your house.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
The Metamorphosis, Part Two...
RE: My seemingly doomed quest to get myself a New York State-issued photo identification card.
I left this tale, oh gentle reader, in that most precarious of states; at a point where I had planned to pin my seemingly ever-fleeting hopes to the possibility that it would be possible to use the bureaucracy in order to fight the bureaucracy.
Here's what has transpired since.
I left this tale, oh gentle reader, in that most precarious of states; at a point where I had planned to pin my seemingly ever-fleeting hopes to the possibility that it would be possible to use the bureaucracy in order to fight the bureaucracy.
Here's what has transpired since.
Bloomberg Unhinged...
Apologies: I had meant to get to this earlier, but shit happens and all that.
Okay, so it would seem that New York City Mayor Micheal Boomdouche...errm...Bloomberg...has finally lost his last sodding marble, and has extended his food fetishes to baby Formula. It's bad enough the New York City school system won't educate the little tykes when they get old enough to attend, now Bloomberg wants to see them starving, too.
Okay, so it would seem that New York City Mayor Micheal Boomdouche...errm...Bloomberg...has finally lost his last sodding marble, and has extended his food fetishes to baby Formula. It's bad enough the New York City school system won't educate the little tykes when they get old enough to attend, now Bloomberg wants to see them starving, too.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The Metamorphosis...
It has been years since I read Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis, but damned if I don't feel as if I'm living it, these days.
If you've never read this classic tale of bureaucratic stupidity and the dehumanizing oppression often exerted by governments, I'll give you the going-from-memory-nutshell version:
The main character is continuously being told by members of the bureaucracy that he is guilty...they just never get around to telling him what he's guilty of, mostly because no one is quite sure, but the paperwork all seems to be in order.
Eventually our hero is stripped of his humanity, becoming smaller and smaller after each encounter with the mindless bureaucracy until he literally transforms into a cockroach.
I was reminded of the overriding theme of Kafka's masterpiece yesterday, when, for something like the fourth time in the last three years, I found myself standing in line at the NY State Department of Motor Vehicles in yet another futile attempt to prove that, yes, I do fucking exist, you Assholes!
If you've never read this classic tale of bureaucratic stupidity and the dehumanizing oppression often exerted by governments, I'll give you the going-from-memory-nutshell version:
The main character is continuously being told by members of the bureaucracy that he is guilty...they just never get around to telling him what he's guilty of, mostly because no one is quite sure, but the paperwork all seems to be in order.
Eventually our hero is stripped of his humanity, becoming smaller and smaller after each encounter with the mindless bureaucracy until he literally transforms into a cockroach.
I was reminded of the overriding theme of Kafka's masterpiece yesterday, when, for something like the fourth time in the last three years, I found myself standing in line at the NY State Department of Motor Vehicles in yet another futile attempt to prove that, yes, I do fucking exist, you Assholes!
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Rangel "Baffled": Bought Voters Don't Stay Bought...
It's called Alzheimer's, Charlie.
New York Congressdouche Charlie "The Tax Cheat" Rangel "baffled" by apparent slimness of margin of victory in primary fight.
The one thing you democrats have to remember about buying votes is that sometimes they don’t always stay bought.
This page is no fan of Rep. Charlie Rangel, and believes that he needs to go. I believe that he is a criminal, and the only reason why he escaped the telling mark of the criminal (i.e. a conviction) is because his exalted status as Black Icon, and position as a member of Nancy Pelosi's "gotta have on board" clique saved his fat ass from an actual criminal proceeding, and saw him merely censored by his fellow criminals in the House of Representatives. Making Rangel pay for committing a series of felonies would have been politically disastrous and unseemly in an America obsessed with race, and would have deprived ObamaCare of one it's most fervent boosters at a critical time.
New York Congressdouche Charlie "The Tax Cheat" Rangel "baffled" by apparent slimness of margin of victory in primary fight.
The one thing you democrats have to remember about buying votes is that sometimes they don’t always stay bought.
This page is no fan of Rep. Charlie Rangel, and believes that he needs to go. I believe that he is a criminal, and the only reason why he escaped the telling mark of the criminal (i.e. a conviction) is because his exalted status as Black Icon, and position as a member of Nancy Pelosi's "gotta have on board" clique saved his fat ass from an actual criminal proceeding, and saw him merely censored by his fellow criminals in the House of Representatives. Making Rangel pay for committing a series of felonies would have been politically disastrous and unseemly in an America obsessed with race, and would have deprived ObamaCare of one it's most fervent boosters at a critical time.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Dear Food Nazis, Part II...
You know, the quality of life here in New York city has suffered greatly ever since someone decided it was a good idea to listen, and to take seriously, the mental diarrhea of a class of effete snobs.
Led by our Mayor-for-as-long-as-he-can-continue-to-pay-for-the-position, or as I like to refer to him, Reichsfuhrer Bloomdouche, this class of pantybunched little bedwetters have taken what was once a vibrant and delightful city, and turned it into a sterile preserve of their own, one which is now beginning to take on the character which is a reflection of their collective souls.
It's all so Brave New World.
The city looks modern, it appears to still be hip and happenin', it still has the outward aura of being New York, the Big Apple that Toddlin' Town, but this is surface glitz; just beneath all the new smoked glass and white concrete, below the thin veneer of sophistication which still clings to New York like barnacles to a rusted hull, lay a city with a weakening pulse, it's strength and dynamism sapped by a bunch of mostly-transplanted dickheads whose biggest wish in Life is to avoid seeing, hearing, doing, or allowing to exist anything that threatens to burst their bubble of self-generated conceit, and the phony, aloof, egotistic, haughty, dominated-by-affectation lifestyle that comes with it.
Brooklyn hot dog vendor chased from neighborhood by overbearing pompous asses.
Led by our Mayor-for-as-long-as-he-can-continue-to-pay-for-the-position, or as I like to refer to him, Reichsfuhrer Bloomdouche, this class of pantybunched little bedwetters have taken what was once a vibrant and delightful city, and turned it into a sterile preserve of their own, one which is now beginning to take on the character which is a reflection of their collective souls.
It's all so Brave New World.
The city looks modern, it appears to still be hip and happenin', it still has the outward aura of being New York, the Big Apple that Toddlin' Town, but this is surface glitz; just beneath all the new smoked glass and white concrete, below the thin veneer of sophistication which still clings to New York like barnacles to a rusted hull, lay a city with a weakening pulse, it's strength and dynamism sapped by a bunch of mostly-transplanted dickheads whose biggest wish in Life is to avoid seeing, hearing, doing, or allowing to exist anything that threatens to burst their bubble of self-generated conceit, and the phony, aloof, egotistic, haughty, dominated-by-affectation lifestyle that comes with it.
Brooklyn hot dog vendor chased from neighborhood by overbearing pompous asses.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Dear Food Nazis...
…you suck.
No, wait…I take that back. You have gone beyond merely sucking; you swallow.
I arrived at this formulation yesterday evening, when Tess and I had the most unfortunate cup of coffee you might imagine.
Yes, you read that right: coffee.
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