Making Your Privates Public…

You know, there used to be a time before cell phones existed when people took great pains to do two very important things:

a. Keep their noses out of their neighbors’ business, and

b. Keep certain aspects of their personal lives private.

Apparently, this is no longer true. I won’t go into the near-impossibility of keeping most facets of your life a secret when you actually want to, nowadays (technology has made this somewhat problematic if not damned near impossible). However, one would think that some things about most people’s private lives that should be kept secret would remain safely hidden if only cell phones had not become ubiquitous…

…and if the people who insist on using them in a public setting had the same sense you’re likely to find in a brain-damaged Irish Setter.

Now You Know Why that Stimulus Bill Didn't Work...

...because the money is going to China.

Rhode Island Wind Farm will use turbines Made in China, paid for by Stimulus Funds.

Really? I mean, Rhode Island is so small you could probably power the entire state with half a dozen hamsters running in wheels attached to an Our-Gang-style, jury-rigged generator. And who knew they had sewage systems in Rhode Island? I thought it was just Massachusetts' parking lot.

This story is problematic -- and typical of government 'solutions' to any problem, because:

a) Green Energy sources, especially windmills, don't work as they are dependant upon a fuel which is largely unpredictable or expensive to create or capture, in this case, the Wind. Wind power is not practical as a primary power source, and in addition it kills off birds in great numbers (birds being too stupid to avoid flying into whirling turbine blades, or to avoid falling out of nests built on the towers), which sorta-kinda defeats it's supposed ecological benefits.

b) I wonder what Jeff Immelt over at GE thinks about his asshole-buddy relationship with the Obama Administration now? I thought we made wind turbines here in America, unless the American brand -- heavily subsidized by tax dollars -- is still too damned expensive (probably because of Union Wage scales) to be bought by Americans. I reckon Jeff figured that having paid enough of his shareholder's money to get into Obama's good graces,and having his broadcast arms (NBC and (P)MSNBC) practically get Obama elected without doing as much as a single investigative piece on him, that GE was entitled to every dollar the government intends to waste.

Sometimes, Jeffy, when you lie down with -- and kiss the asses of -- dogs, you wake up with fleas...and a really bad taste in your mouth.

c) EnvironMENTALism is simply Socialism in better packaging. Not only are we now implementing a regime of 'renewable energy' which is part of a grander scheme of redistributing wealth all over the planet at our expense, we're paying Communists to help us to do it.

d) If Rhode Island needed three windmills -- to pump shit through a pipe -- why didn't the taxpayers of that state just pay for it themselves? Maybe because that would have meant the state couldn't spend that money on bi-lingual education or funding abortions. Priorities, and all that.

EnvironMENTALism is the New Socialism; it's basic aim is to arrest the technical development of the Industrialized World (by restricting it's use of energy and by pouring billions of dollars into largely-useless and wasteful initiatives) which will allow the Third World -- largely exempt from the Carbon Control Scheme -- to 'catch up', thus bringing about Socialism in effect. It operates by pulling one society down, while allowing another to make incremental-and-unregulated surges upwards, and so, artificially aims to 'equal' everyone out without having to toss a violent revolution to achieve any of it. Of course, all this really means is that Western economies, through Green Energy initiatives, Carbon Control regimes, international treaties and U.N. Mandates, will be economically hamstrung until everyone in Katmandu, New Guinea or the Congo, can afford an iPad and at least half a meal a day, while the West will have committed Economic and Social suicide under the banner of "saving the environment".

The purpose of Green Energy projects is to basically waste resources that otherwise would have been spent by individual consumers or taxpayers to increase their standards of living and quality of life, and thus, increase the distinctions based on wealth between peoples. Building windmills is fundamentally the same as baking a million loaves of bread -- and then setting them on fire. It's the equivalent of catching a few billion fish and then dumping them back into the sea. Energy is expended, resources are used up, labor is wasted, capital is spent... and no one benefits from it.

Except the Chinese who get paid for the windmills, the politicians who took the bribes to make sure the Chinese got the contract, and the doofus in the Serengetti who, if his standard of living hasn't been raised, as least has the smug satisfaction of knowing that his American counterpart hasn't gotten any richer or more comfortable.

That is, after all, what Socialism is all about: it's all about fear, and guilt, and envy, all wrapped up in a nice,shiny package emblazoned with the words like "Equality!" and "Plenty!", and all it can really guarantee is that there's Plenty of squalor to be Equally distributed. Now that's REAL Equality: we can all starve to death at the same speed.

Why do you think it is that every Socialist regime in history comes with a Secret Police and a system of Gulags, after all?

So, while we'll all be equally miserable, if the Watermelons (Green on the outside, Red on the inside) have their way, we can at least console ourselves with the thought that our initial motive was high-minded...

...and that Rhode Island has a wind-powered sewage treatment plant just at the point in history when indoor plumbing becomes a thing of the past, seeing as how bankrupt and homeless Americans will all soon be living in cardboard boxes in the woods because their government spent their hard-earned tax dollars to give the Chinese jobs at their expense.

Until the Watermelons start complaining that all those people living in the woods are destroying the ecosystem, of course. The government of Rhode Island will probably respond to that next environmental crisis by outsourcing the roundup and transport of it's citizens to the concentration camps to Russia, or something.

It's probably the one service GE doesn't provide, and I hear The Russkies are really good at that sort of thing.

I'll Bet They Saved a Polar Bear,Though...

French Vegans on trial; Child fed only on breast milk dies of malnutrition.

Some people are just too stupid to be parents. Then again, some people are just too stupid to be government officials. I submit:

"While anxious not to call into question the couple's lifestyle, Anne-Laure Sandretto, the deputy prosecutor, admitted: "The problem with a vitamin B12 deficiency could be linked to the mother's eating habits."

Right, because we should never question or investigate 'lifestyles' that lead to dead infants. That would be, like, all, oppressive, and junk. That vegan lifestyle choice and a dead baby are, like, totally unconnected.

Of course, we also shouldn't call into question the state of mind of two people who seem obsessed with cabbage and clay, even going as far as to use both as medicine, because then we might have to label them as stark, raving lunatics, and have to take their children away and perhaps lock them up in a place with rubber sheets...on the walls. That might ruin their self-esteem,and cost money that could be better spent on making certain the elderly, or prison inmates, have free Viagra and government maid service.

And this is the country that led President Odingbat into a kinetic-military-action-of-choice in Libya?

Here's why I don't understand the legal system, even though this is France you would assume the systems are somewhat similar to ours in the basics:

"Patrick Quenel, lawyer for the father, whose business has gone into liquidation, said the couple were "completely aware of the mistakes they made".

Isn't that tantamount to a confession? A recognition of responsibility or rather, irresponsibility? If so, then why is there a trial which appears as if it's entering it's third year? Oh, and nice touch with that 'business in liquidation' bullshit, councillor -- like that's going to gin up any sympathy when the jury gets shown photos of a malnourished, dead baby?

Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents. Perhaps one day we'll develop some sort of test administered at at birth that warns us about just who the irresponsible, the stupid, the cruel, the monstrous and the insane are, and then we can spay or neuter 'em before they breed. One can only hope.

OMG,I just sounded like a Progressive Libtard there for a second! That was, in fact, the driving force behind abortion-on-demand and the Lynchburg Experiments!

Unfortunately, We Never Seem to Run Short of Idiots...

More Proof that Global Warming is Bullshit.

Conceding the point that Global Warming Alarmists are wrong, at least this time, the same Watermelon Douchebag interviewed to pooh-pooh the report tries to cover his own ass:

"This is something that people don't appreciate. We tied a record in 2010 (for temperature records) globally. That is primarily from the C02 we put in the atmosphere in the 70s and early 80s, and we have been ramping up since then," he said.

"So it is not good. We are seeing the response from a mistake we were making 20 years ago, and we are making bigger mistakes today."

In other words: we're wrong, but not for the reasons you'd think (i.e. we don't know what the fuck we're talking about), but because we just haven't had enough time to be proven right yet. Global warming won't kill us all in 2020, like we originally said and gave Al Gore a Nobel Prize for repeating, but maybe in 2040...maybe 2068...it might happen...possibly...if everything else falls into place.

They sound like the guys who, circa 500 AD, were all over screaming about the return of Christ and the accompanying worldly upheavals (Question: if Jesus returns to Save, why does that require war, plagues, the deaths of millions and natural disasters?), excoriating the sinful, and demanding that they repent before all their flesh was burnt away and their immortal souls sent to experience the eternal torments of Hell.

Come Jan. 1, 501 AD, what happened? Nothing. And then the Doommongers were all, like, "Yeah, but the day of judgement is still coming, you'll see! Any day now...any day...You'll be sorry you didn't listen when it comes, Boy! Yessirrreee!" and they've been repeating that nonsense for the last 1500 years. When they fail, or are proven wrong, they simply move the goal posts, change the subject, make excuses, and go back to their smug lunacy, still convinced they have all the answers and that you are an idiot.

The Global Warming crowd has much in common with those so-called "prophets" (besides that they, too, don't know what the fuck they're talking about); given enough time and the vagaries of circumstance, any prediction comes true...eventually. Doesn't matter if we're talking football teams, religion, whatever. It's why Nostradamus'predictions only make sense in retrospect; if Nostradamus was of any real value then you would think someone would be taking advantage of them and doing things with them...like preventing Hitler's rise to power, nipping Soviet Communism in the bud, and being prepared for 9/11. Nostradamus, as predictive tool, is useless.


The current state of climatological "science" is, likewise, complete crap. It's the scientists who made it that way, too. They do no one, and especially their own cause, no good when they make contradictory statements along the lines of "well, the data is bad, the report is flawed, but it could still be right". This willful disbelief of scientifically-established facts by supposedly-reputable scientists for the purposes of advancing a personal and political agenda is frightening; it's bordering on mental illness, really. You might as well grow a long white beard, get yourself a sandwich board and paint"Repent!" on it and wander the streets; you'd be doing pretty much the same thing.

Ultimately, however, Science, Nostradamus and Religious Doofuses alike, are correct in this regard: this planet is doomed, and there's not much mankind can do to either prevent it, or as these dimwits would have you believe, speed the process up. Our Sun will go nova, cook off the atmosphere, boil off all our water and give us all a permanent crispy coating and kill us all. A comet, asteroid, or meteor will smack into our little blue marble, and kill us all. E.T. will come along, and decide we look tasty...and kill us all. The Moon will eventually escape the Earth's gravitational tug, spin off into space, and leave us with no tides and a greatly-reduced capacity to generate internal planetary heat...and we'll all die. Some nasty bird flu or common cold virus will evolve to a newer, more robust and sophisticated stage and infect us all, and we'll all die. Islamonazis in Iran or Pakistan will initiate a nuclear war that will engulf the planet in flames and fallout...and we'll all die.

Extinction is, indeed, part of the cycle of life, even more natural than granola and weaving your own clothes out of hemp, and it's pretty much unavoidable. The ultimate destruction of this planet is certain, and when viewed from this perspective, then putting up solar panels in order to save an exotic flea, or a few Stone Age New Guinea Tribesmen is a complete waste of time. Yes, we should do everything we can to ensure that our environment is as clean as possible, but to believe we can ever "restore" it to a "pristine" condition that can be maintained indefinitely is sheer stupidity. Expensive stupidity.

There is an arrogance, mostly born of ignorance, amongst some of the most ardent EnviroWeenies which is the natural consequence of their mistaken beliefs; In this formulation, it is believed that Man has the ability to "freeze" time and natural processes alike, that there will be a moment of ecological perfection that we can achieve, and then through conscious effort (and government control, naturally) we'll magically halt progress at the exact moment when everything is "perfect", and then live in a continuous present where tomorrow resembles today, and nothing ever changes ever, ever again.

This, incidentally, has also always been the historical goal of the world's worst dictatorships; to arrest progress at the every moment they are at the height of their power, and then exercise continuous power in ever-subtler forms throughout an unchanging future. Some of you lefties and dolphin lovers had better read Orwell. You might be cured of your unfortunate leftard tendencies.

Message to the Watermelons (Green on the outside, Red on the inside): Your thought processes are wrong, your fundamental beliefs are often easily overturned by reason and the very science you claim as your best ally, and every time it happens, you simply change tack and re-center the argument, never recognizing the errors you've made, only redoubling your efforts in a different direction. It's difficult to take you seriously.

You're no better than the morons who shout about Armageddon and the Rapture: when it doesn't come to pass, they figure it's because they weren't pious enough. So they just try harder, and get more annoying, and fall deeper into mental illness.

I'm not in favor of trying to save that which cannot be saved, whether it's souls or polar bears, and especially not by means that require my standard of living to be drastically reduced because all you eventually accomplish -- for all your talk and supposed "authority", whether Divine or Scientific -- is to make yourself look like an ass, and piss us normal people off.

The Law of Unintended Consequences...

...will always come back to bite you in the ass.

Note to the French, and especially the U.S. Government:

When you give money away, don't be surprised when people take you up on the offer at greater-then-expected rates.

I especially loved this part:

"Most panels installed in France were made in China with a highly questionable carbon footprint," Environment Minister Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet told parliament last month. Policy must "create jobs in France, not subsidize Chinese industry."

Good thing we're creating all those Green Energy jobs... in the least Green country on Planet Earth, huh?

Biology For Dummies...

Lots of tree-hugging hippies out there like to write nasty -- and they'd like to think anonymous, but not really George P. in Terre Haute, or Alyssa V. in Schenectedy -- e-mails, and a few with more braincells than usual like trying -- and failing -- to hack other people's computers and e-mail accounts, too. You know who you are, and if you don't knock it off, I'm going to make a special effort to pay you a visit and MAKE YOU STOP...permanently. I can promise you that ObamaCare won't support you in a vegetative state for very long, so please, don't make me have to beat you.

I can handle nasty. Doesn't bother me at all. I just can't handle STUPID. Drives me insane.

This post brought some blowback (and really, people, can't you just use the reply function to make your stupid case? Oh, right; that has a 4,000 character limit, and unfortunately, you can't spout crap in under 5,000), most of it about the destructive effect of all that extra carbon dioxide that will kill us all.

Apparently, you don't need to know the basics of biology in order to be an environMENTAList. Nor do you need critical thinking skills. All that is required of you is that you simply believe, in much the same way the Muslim or the Catholic establishment doesn't really give a shit about what you think; they only care that you believe, and obey...and send money. This willing suspension of disbelief, to disregard evidence, logic, objective truth, or counter-argument is called "Faith". There's no thinking required. It's the major reason why so many sad-sacks join storefront churches, or strap explosives to themselves in the name of God; Faith is far easier than Truth or Reason, and certainly cheaper than a psychiatrist.

If you're a committed environut, you have to only believe four things (mostly because you're incapable of remembering more than four things) , not taking into consideration evidence to the contrary, nor accepting any argument or evidence whatsoever that would seem to knock the intellectual underpinnings out from beneath your beliefs. These four things are:

1. Carbon dioxide is a deadly poison.

2. Carbon dioxide levels are too high, and that Man has the ability to to do all of the following;

a. Calculate precisely how much CO2 there is in the atmosphere,

b. Calculate precisely how much CO2 is "just right" for the continuation of Life as We Know it, at optimum efficiency,

c. determine that if CO2 levels are too high, that it MUST be the result of Mankind doing things (i.e. going through the processes of what we like to call "living").

d. Discern just how elevated CO2 levels will affect the climate of the planet (as if there were only one world-wide climate!), with disastrous results, especially for people who are, in the best of times, slowly starving to death because they can't grow food, fucking themselves into starvation, killing each other in the name of religion, killing each other because they have nothing better to do, or dying of diseases that could be easily prevented if only they'd use soap, or stop fucking their livestock.

3. That Science is providing all the answers to the mysteries of a number of complex systems that we barely understand, and have barely begun to study in earnest.

4. That sans evidence that Man is actually doing catastrophic harm, it is your duty to insist that He is, and to make every effort to arrest progress that it's in your power to do. Usually, this means whine, bitch and moan until you get your way, like a four-year old.

Or write nasty, you-think-you're-anonymous e-mails. So, boys and girls, let me tell you about the Great Chain of Life, in eight (8) Easy Steps. Pay attention, because you just might learn something that might cause you to give up that lifestyle of pretentious affectation you're engaged in now.

1. There are untold trillions of a certain kind of organism on this planet which we call "Plants" and "Plant-like Organisms".

2. These Plant and Plant-like Organisms like to eat, and in fact, must do so to survive, just like you do, only without Che Guevara T-shits, American Idol, patchouli oil, marijuana, and bottled water.

3. Because they don't have access to Tofu, Doritos and Starbucks, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms have developed a wonderful system of making their own food, which we call Photosynthesis, in which they combine CARBON DIOXIDE with water, sunlight, and trace elements to produce complex carbohydrates (you know, like you get in your tastes-like-shit-but-is-supposedly-healthy-as-all-hell PowerBar?) and sugars. The Plants and Plant-like Creatures eat these sugars, and therefore, grow and thrive.

4. As a result of Photosynthesis, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms basically "shit" OXYGEN, a gas which is a requirement for life for water buffalo, mountain gorillas, polar bears, spotted owls, parrot fish, and dumbass Watermelons (Green on the outside, Red on the inside) who write stupid e-mails telling me I should die because I happen to disagree with them...an' stuff.

5. It is a known fact that when Plants and Plant-like Organisms have access to more CO2, they tend to grow faster and bigger, much like your average person if fed a steady diet of Chips Ahoy's, Ruffles, Pork chops, whipped-cream-out-of-the-can, ice cream and Pepsi would. More plants means more oxygen, and more food for cute little grazing animals like Bambi and Dumbo.

6. If one takes CO2 out of the atmosphere, then one deprives the Plants and Plant-like Organisms of their main source of food, thus killing them. And Bambi and Dumbo, too.

7. If one kills the Plants and Plant-like Organisms, one reduces the amount of Oxygen in the air, it means that those of us with the ability to find our own asses with both hands and a flashlight will have to kill and eat nosepicking environMENTALists in order to survive in an Oxygen-and-food-depleted environment.

8. Once the herd has been culled of the dumbass envirowhackos, we survivors will go back to putting CO2 back into the atmosphere, so that the Plants and Plant-like Organisms can eat and grow again, so that we can breathe, and so that the chickens, cattle, pigs, and fish -- assuming any of them survived both the loss of plants (their fucking food), and Oxygen -- will return, so that we may eat them instead of environMENTALISTs who aren't so tasty, are far from being Brain Food, and have less nutritional value than CheezWhiz.

So, you see, CO2 is not so much a poison as it is a RESOURCE NECESSARY FOR THE CONTINUATION OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET, YOU DUMB-AS-DOGSHIT ASSHOLE!

Also, I get a kick out of people who:

1. Tell me I should save the world by killing myself, but who apparently won't follow their own advice. Avoiding the "looming environmental disaster headed our way" doesn't fill them with enough fear and despondency to take their own lives. No, no, no; it's all of us regular people who should sacrifice ourselves on the Greenie Meanies' behalf, the selfish cocksuckers. Ever notice how those of us who don't agree with them are "selfish" but those that who would demand your death for their own personal comfort and salvation mysteriously aren't?

2. Lecture me about the evils of industrialization, whilst using a computer made from petroleum products and mined metals, transmitting across the ether on cables made of the same, the whole endeavor powered by coal, oil or natural gas burning power plants, or nuclear plants which leave radioactive waste, the very same things these douchebags say is destroying the atmosphere, and without which, modern life would be impossible.

3. Can use the terms "Massive Global Warming Catastrophe" and "Unprecedented Global Ice Age" in the same sentence and not notice the inherent contradictions, massive stupidity, or delicious irony, contained within?

4. If Darwin (your other Icon) was right, then whatever survives the no-plants-no-oxygen conditions of a global catastrophe will evolve so that they can. It's called Adaptation. They just probably won't be going to college and majoring in Keg Party, Gender Studies and Repeating the Stupid Shit My Professor Says.

If you can process all of this, Children, then maybe you'll begin to discover why it's so difficult to take you seriously.

You People Are Sick...

I really must thank Blogger. For while getting money that you've earned for posting Blogads may be a task on par with the Labors of Hercules, they at least have provided me with a nifty set of webtools that have provided several hours of unbridled entertainment.

I think I've mentioned this before: Blogger now provides some web analysis tools for it's bloggers that allows them access to certain kinds of information about their readers/visitors. So, I can tell where a visitor to this website comes from (country of origin), how they got here (search engine, crosslink from another website), and what search terms they used to eventually get here.

This information more than makes up in entertainment value whatever cash Blogger still owes me, but makes impossible to collect; keep it! I haven't laughed this hard or this much in years, and the laughter probably has a better therapeutic value than all the cash in the world! I've also puked more than any anorexic ever could, and have shed a pound or two.

Screw Jenny Craig; if you want to shed some pounds, checkout what some excuses for human beings are doing on the internet!

Some of this is just plain disturbing. Having access to some of this information makes me wonder about the future of the human race, and quite frankly, about whether or not this planet would be better off without us, or at least a few selected segments of the population.

The militant tree huggers just might be on to something...

To illustrate: the top search term (what you type into Google or Bing that might point you to this page) seems to be "donkeysexe". Let me assure you; this is not a typo. At first, I thought it might have been, but it isn't because it occurs far too often for it be an accident. Then I dug a little deeper (yeah, the thought of digging deeper into the realm of "donkeysexe" scared me, too), and what do you think I found?

The majority of the people who search the web for "donkeysexe" and arrive at this page come from...wait for it...the Middle East. Except for that truly disturbed person in Lichtenstein, and the obviously-undersexed asshole in Medicine Hat, the majority of the donkeysexe requests came from Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Dubai, and Turkey. The reason it's spelled the way it is, is probably because the Islamic censors in those countries have filtered the probably-more-accurate term "donkeysex", and the addition of the extra "e" spoofs the filters.

Now, having used the term at least 10 times in this screed, I can most likely expect far more visits from members of the "Pro-Human/Burro Relationships Community".

I wasn't even going to type the term in myself, just to see what this was all about, because, quite frankly, Ive heard the tales of drunken Spring Break vacations in Tijuana, and I don't want to know anything more.

I found this phenomenon both fascinating and disgusting. Fascinating because I have long believed that part of the problem of Islamic terrorism was to be found in sexual problems and dysfunction, and this pretty much proves it,to me at least. It's disgusting in the sense that we have perhaps millions of Islamic douchebags running around with a penchant for bestiality.

The next item on the agenda of "You people are sick" is the search terms "epiduo and low sex drive/low testosterone".

I have written about Epiduo in my Bad Medicine series. It is a skin cream used to treat severe acne. Apparently, it also takes the lead out of your pencil, steals the wind from your sails, and knocks the starch out of your collar. Actually, I don't know if it really does, I just wanted to string together a few metaphors that described impotence.

Anyways, this whole association brought a thought into my head (where it quickly died of loneliness); I cannot, for the life of me, remember seeing anyone walking about lately with the sort of severe acne that was pretty common when I was a kid. I mean, I don't see anyone with that horrific red-purple moon cratering that one of my generation associates with acne. Not a single "Pizza Face". Haven't seen one in years, that I can remember.

One reason may be that because of medications like Epiduo millions have been spared that kind of scarring. But now, come to think of it, the association of acne medication and low sex drive probably contains a far better explanation: there might still be millions of people with acne, but they can't procreate as easily as they used to. Bad Acne is being slowly bred out of the population! Talk about good news/bad news: you're face is now fit to be seen in public, but your pelvis bazooka is on the fritz! Personally, I'd keep the acne, if only to make sure my Wedding Tackle was in proper working order, and besides, women today practically throw pussy at anything with a heartbeat 24 hours a day.

Another disturbing trend: the number of people who have nothing better to do with their lives than to type "douchebag" into a search engine. Several score of you each week, by the look of things. Unfortunately, I'm going to attract this type of person to this site if only because that happens to be one of my favorite derogatory terms, but I would suggest that those of you who find this wildly entertaining perhaps should seek professional help.

You certainly are not going to get any tips about how to recover that feminine sense of "freshness" (wtf, are we talking about a salad or your crotch?) here.

Which brings us to our last "most unusual" search term. For the life of me, I can't figure out how this applies to this website, because I don't think I've ever covered the subject in nearly seven years of blogging. That term is: caught jerking off. Someone is typing that into Google or Ask.com, and arriving here. Several times a day. I think they're leaving sadly disappointed.

I didn't want to, but the opportunity to gain yet another insight into how fucked up people are led me to do a cursory investigation of this topic, and the revelation was disgusting enough to cause my testicles to retract into my chest cavity (waiting for that one to show up in the report next week), as if they were desperately seeking emergency shelter from some great, impending doom.

Apparently, this is a Gay Thing. Gay Men all over the planet are seeking videos in which someone is caught Greasing the Pelican in a public setting, and deriving sexual pleasure from both the act, and the disgust/shame created when they're caught by their unsuspecting witnesses/victims. Personally, I don't see the appeal of Choking the Chicken in your cubicle, Working The Wang on public transport, or standing behind some Dude on line in a McDonald's somewhere with your John Thomas in hand, just praying that these activities will be caught on closed-circuit video, to be dispatched for the deviant entertainment of others across the World-Wide-Web.

If I caught you doing anything like that near me, I'd fucking kill you on the spot. And there isn't a court in the land, I think, that would convict me. Except maybe in San Francisco.

It is difficult to form a positive opinion of one's fellow beings when confronted by documentary evidence of just how truly sick some of you are.

But I have to admit, it's funny as hell.

National "Harass A Treehugger" Day...

First, they called it "Global Warming".

Then, when it was proven the planet was actually cooling, it became "Climate Change".

Less-than-a-year later, it's now to be called "Global Climate Disruption".

It's still bullshit.

Just come clean, Tree Huggers, and admit it: you can't prove your assertions without lying, cheating and cooking the books. You engage in scare-mongering so that you may extort money from governments and easily-frightened retards, who in years past were only fleeced by those who professed faith in God, advocated the healing power of crystals and the homeopathic lifestyle, or flogging Lucky Astrology Mood Rings, instead of a government-funded global communist conspiracy.

The goal is not to "Save the Planet", because most EnvironMENTALists hate their fellow human beings, but to produce a new order in which the "enlightened" douchebags of the world get to rule over everyone else, tell us all what to do, and reap the benefits. And that's after they manage to impose world communism under the guise of saving African peasants from glacier melt.

For the last half-century these doofuses have been allowed to get away with this scam, and it's about time someone put a stop to it. Now, by myelf, as a private individual, well...I can only do so much. I do occasionally go down to the local Starbucks and deliberately drop litter in front of the Greenie Meanines, just to piss them off. Or, I sometimes sign their petitions with "Adolf Hitler" when they thrust them in front of me, unbidden, in the ferry terminal just to screw with them.

But, it's not enough. They're still here spouting the same bullshit, and they just change thename whenever they're caught out. They keep moving the goalposts in order to keep the scam going. They obviously have no respect for me, as a person, or for my intelligence.

I therefore declare November 1, 2010 to be "Harass a Treehugger Day".

You are not to do anything violent. You are not to do anything that will lead to someone being hurt. You are not to break any laws.

What you are supposed to do is make certain you can find the most annoying Tree Hugger you know, and do everything in your power to annoy the piss out of them for the next 24 hours. There's not even a point to it: you're just there to fucking annoy them because you can.

Follow them around, and try the following:

1. Make moral judgements against them, loudly and publicly, about the contradictions inherent in their espousal of Global Climate Disruption and their actual lifestyle. For example:

"You know, that cellphone you're about to use is made of disgusting petrochemicals, and the telephone company that carries your calls is complicit in the rape of the Earth because of all the copper, steel, and electricity they need to do business! When they send you your bill, that will be on paper that some tree was sacrificed for! Cellphone towers kill migratory birds with microwaves! Why are you using a cellphone when it's a mortal danger to Gaia?"

"Hey! Don't drink that Vente-Double-Caramel-Mocchiata-with-extra-whipped-cream! Do you realize how much fossil fuel we need to burn to get that coffee from the interior of Mozambique to the United States, and how many Greenhouse gasses were emitted in the process of brewing just that one cup? Why, that cup alone represents the entire yearly output of carbon emissions produced by 10,000,000 honeybees! You know honeybees are dying because of climate change? How are we supposed to pollinate our crops when your coffee is killing honeybees? Some douchebag in Outer Mongolia is starving because your coffee killed all the bees!"

2. Make certain you follow your selected target, and carefully-observe their daily activities. Take careful note of all their activities, and jump upon those that would seem to run counter to their stated goal of saving the environment. Make certain you write them an "Awareness Citation" for every violation at the end of the day, and chastize them for being a hypocrite.

3. Use your cellphone or other recording device to snap pictures of the Environut of your choice littering, using a private automobile, wasting resources, or otherwise failing to live up to the strict and exacting ideals he/she demands from YOU. Post those pictures on the Internet -- Facebook, MySpace, your blog, etc. -- just to show that Ms. Holier-Than-thou is really full of shit, and embarrass her in front of her Green peers, and indeed, the entire Green Movement.

4. Mail Al Gore pictures of Polar Bears in water. Make certain you caption your picture with the words "THEY CAN SWIM, DUMBASS!". Also make sure to remind Mr. Gore that he lost a Presidential election to a man his party loudly and frequently proclaimed was a blithering idiot, and that people who try to sue their way into the White House are probably the next-best-thing to Gay. Make sure you get 10 others to send a similar missive, and that they are all delivered by U.S. Mail, Fed Ex, or other contrivance that just burns through fossil fuels like Mexican water passed through a tourist.

(H/T Closet Conservative)

Exclusive! Ground Zero Mosque Goes Green...

So can we please finally stop with all that stuff about about Islam being an intolerant-terrorist-breeding-death cult obsessed with a book written by a child molester, living in abject fear of vaginas, and bent on World Domination?

After all, they care about Global Warming....and stuff.

The world needs Douchebags, too, I guess. It's just a pity that one of them gets paid to write this kind of crap.

EnviroMENTALISM is a Danger to Us All...

James Jay Lee was simply another link in the chain of radical Eliminationists who espouse everything from Abortion to Forced Sterlization to Concentration Camps, all in the name of the "Progressive" cause.

Two Birds, One Stone...For Mother Earth...

I had an idea yesterday. That by itself would be news, but this one was so exquisitely clever, that I had to take the time to fully think-through the implications before committing it to....errm...electronic paper.

Two of the biggest problems in modern America are the runaway Welfare State, and a heaving mass of over-emotional, regressively-adolescent, tushy-clenched, panty-bunched, thumbsuckers who clamor for the American People and Government to live up to their "responsibilities" to help save Gaia. Now,I generally don't go in for this environMENTAL nonsense, because the people who espouse it are typically dumber and thicker than a sack of dog shit passed through a constipated daschund, but I figured that if I could find a way to make some of them just a little bit happier, they wouldn't carry on like a bunch of menstrual wolverines, and my ears would get a rest.

The Earth-firsters are all hot to limit the amount of Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere. They are also mightily upset with mankind's mass-consumption habits, and the effects and demands these make upon Nature. The Greenie Meanies also have a wild hair up their collective asses about a concept they call "sustainability" -- a theory which totally contradicts Human Nature, but if I have this right, postulates that Man can live a "balanced" life in which he does not take from Nature more than he needs to survive (to more extreme advocates, this means the very barest of necessities, soap not being on this list of vitals for many, unfortunately), while doing his level best to ensure that Nature is tended so as to ensure "renewability" (i.e. eat an apple, plant an apple tree).

The Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside) are also pretty ticked off at governments which subsidize/promote certain industries which are known to be harmful to the environment; Big Oil, Detroit, the Mining Industry, Big Agriculture, and Big Pharma, and either demand that governments regulate these industries right out of existence, or tax the shit out of them to fund "Green Initiatives", which usually concern Community Gardens, lots of Macrame and Pot, and at least one Cherokee Drum Circle.

But, usually going Green in any endeavor is typically so expensive (because Green efforts are usually inefficient and based upon the primacy of physical labor over the messy by-products of mechanization), that governments that aren't actually Socialist (like Spain), and which aren't part-and-parcel of the environMENTAList movement (a plan for world Socialism without the need for violent revolution) themselves, typically split the difference; practicing what appears to be laissez-faire capitalism with a strong streak of authoritarian taxation and regulation running through it. The best of both worlds: governments can collect taxes on productive enterprises, and still burnish their environMENTAL street cred by claiming to have "tough" regulations on The X Industry, because a) capitalism still works better than Socialism any day of the week, and b) it's cheaper to pay lip service to Watermelons than to actually Go Green.

So, how to reconcile all these seemingly-contradictory requirements in a smooth-running program that both saves the American taxpayer absolute tons of cash, while doing our part to preserve the Natural world? Easy.

I call it "Welfare Reform for Mother Earth". How can anyone in his right mind object to something that incorporates both the ultra-conservative and ultra-libtard in the same phrase?

Here's how it works:

There are tens of millions of people in the United States right now who have never worked a day in their lives, and who have never picked up anything heavier than their Food Stamp booklet, or Rent Subsidy check, -- except perhaps a crackpipe, or an illegal Glock with the serial numbers filed off. These people do no productive work at all; in fact, they are paid not to. This makes them both a net negative to both the taxpayer, and The Planet. It's expensive to give money to people who don't even grow their own food, or weave baskets, and just as expensive to support the massive army of State and Federal Employees who exist solely to provide these goldbricks with "benefits".That's even before we consider the economic costs of increased police protection, failings schools, substance abuse programs, AIDS, jails, public housing, chronic unemployment, and so forth.

And if that weren't bad enough, they're all breathing, farting and belching, releasing deadly Carbon Dioxide, Methane and other Greenhouse Gasses into the atmosphere, and not buying any carbon credits to offset any of it. Some of the products "The Poor" spend their apportioned money upon do come from renewable sources (Marijuana plants, Opium poppies, Coca leaf, the various grains that make up Malt Liquor), they are also as likely to spend as much, or more, of that cash in imitation of the crass consumerism of their economic betters -- cell phones, cable television, KFC, Ripple, hollowpoint bullets, Grillz, and oversized-gold-plated rims -- not to mention that many of these people fall into the category of "Morbidly Obese", which means that they are probably ingesting more calories in one day than an African or Asian peasant eats in a month, and have children at Malthusian levels that one day will bring us all to the brink of starvation.

So,I suggest that in order to save the world, Welfare should be made Illegal everywhere in America, and these payments cease immediately. That way, we could stop giving money away to social reprobates, and fire entire regiments of government employees who make more and do even less than those they "serve". Why, we'll save so much money that we can even afford to be a bit generous, and give some of that new-found cash to the EnvironMENTALists themselves, so that they can fund all sorts of touchy-feely-makes-ya-feel-good-but-is-ultimately-useless programs to "raise awareness", and advocate on behalf of special light bulbs, promote vegetarianism, and maybe even pay for their beloved Community Gardens, or even a windmill or two someplace.

"But Matt", you may ask, "what about all those people you now threw off the Welfare rolls and the Government payroll; what are they supposed to?" I thought that one through!

Unfortunately, after a while, some of them are going to die. This is unavoidable, but we can console ourselves that -- by their deaths -- they are no longer polluting either the Planet, nor Civil Society. Some will actually decide right then and there to turn their lives around, and give up the Welfare Gangsta lifestyle and go legit. Of course, most of those will probably find jobs at the lowest end of the economic scale,having no skills or education, but that's not a problem, either; the "Sustainable" lifestyle more or less entails making do with the barest necessities as your duty to Mother Gaia. Don't think of yourself as "working poor"; think of yourself more as "Good Global Citizen".

Of course those who don't have the courtesy to die, or who decide not to become Good Global Citizens will still be around -- if only because they are able to extort or steal enough to keep themselves alive -- and unrepentant, if not down-right dangerous. The solution to this is one which any Green would immediately recognize as the Holy Grail, as it were, of the EnvironMENTAL movement.

We will set up special National Parks given completely over to rampant, untended Nature in all it's splendor and glory. As we arrest and otherwise detain those who've managed to stay in their state of ill favor, they will be tagged with microchips (so that we can track them and shoot them if they try to escape, with lead-free bullets, of course -- lead poisons streams and fish! ). They will be released into these parks with nothing but their own wits, where they will have to re-learn all the survival skills our ancient ancestors once possessed, but which we have forgotten. Once released into the Wild, they can be studied in great detail by EnvironMENTALists who will one day want to emulate these lucky few, and return to Nature themselves, and who will need to learn all they can from the inmates successes and failures in experimenting with strange foliage as toilet paper, or in discovering which tree beetles, toads, and small lizards are safe to eat.

A true Garden of Eden, in the best Noble Savage tradition. I wonder what Al Gore would think of my ideas? He got a Nobel Prize, you know?

If only....

Another Tree Hugging Dickwad Dumps Wife, Film at 11...

This time it's a Kennedy, and there's a lot of alcohol involved, as usual.

What the story doesn't make clear is why Mary Kennedy drinks (probably because that would be too obvious a question to ask: what is it with Kennedy women and booze?), and of ocurse, they leave the best part for the very last sentence:

"Bobby and Mary married on a ship on the Hudson River in April 1994, just a few weeks after he divorced first wife, Emily Black."

I'm surprised that it lasted this long, and amazed that she didn't try to continue a long-standing Kennedy family tradition, and make arrangements for her sanctimonious douchebag of a husband's head to be ventilated. How hard could it be? Kennedy men practically attract bullets, when they're not Alpha-maling themselves into trees at high speed, or into the drink.

If this story follows the predictable track, we'll be hearing about the mistress or the alleged sexual assault within a fortnight.

Iowahawk Should Be Bronzed And Placed in The Smithsonian...

If you don't read Iowahawk, you're probably a retard. You don't know what you're missing.

This is a Classic.

Words I'd Thought I Would Never Type...

"Al Gore" and "Sex Scandal". In the same sentence. Allegedly.

Though I struggle not to form some mental picture of the Goremeister wrapped in a towel, rivulets of white, doughy flesh hanging over the tuck, my inner eye has just such an image burned into it. The very thought is profoundly disturbing, and if I don't keep my guard up, it pops, unbidden, back into my tortured mind and activates the gag reflex. I've thrown up into my own mouth so many times in the past week that no amount of toothpaste or Scope will wash away the lingering taste of involuntary bile. Even Cayenne and Jalapenos have not scoured the residue of nausea away.

The scene my subconscious insists on creating has me on the verge of committing a violent act, as if the release of all that pent up disgust and rage will somehow scrub the grey matter clean of the mental version of ring-around-the-tub. I shan't link to any of the stories floating on the Web because they'll only make you projectile vomit, but all the highlights of this sordid..ahem...affair (allegedly) are included. It's always the same unwanted vision running through the diseased landscape of my inner mind:

"...His swollen, puffy, corpulent body lay stretched out upon the masseuse table, face-down. A towel covers his flabbier parts, but he's still clenching his butt cheeks together in an attempt to leave the impression that there's still a few remnants of sinewy youth there beneath it all. His manly back, covered in a thick, Brillo-like fur, was glistening with scented oils and lotions. Somewhere in the background, Barry Manilow was softly playing; the Muzak of the Rutting Bore. Manilow knew how to make chicks cream. Al had selected it exactly for this purpose. The masseuse, a vision of early-middle-aged American womanhood -- thrice-divorced, a stray hair protruding from the mole on her chin, face frozen in a mask of permanent surprise from the combination of poor eyebrow-pencil skills and Botox, the Low-End-Store-Brand-Danny-Kaye-Auburn dye job -- leaned over the Beached Whale of an ex-Vice President in that starched, institutional-green smock that always turned him on because it reminded him so of the Good Old Days of Soviet Communism. She was rubbing away the knots and strains of the rough-and-tumble universe of The Sanctimonious Bullshit World Tour, and the absolute Roman-Coliseum Fishbowl that was the Modern Indulgence Selling that used to characterize much of pre-Reformation Christianity, but which still smelled slightly enough of capitalism that the rubes hardly even noticed.

Her strong hands, much like her donkey-like Slavic ankles, swollen from so much water-retention that she had been unable to file the Last Wedding Ring from her finger -- even though her last divorce was finalized five years before -- found a tender spot. The Gorebot winced momentarily, and then relaxed as her expert digits rubbed the tension away. He sighed, a sound that was almost half-seal-bark-half-phlegmy-rattle. She paused to pluck an errant, wire-stiff back hair or two from under her fingernail, and in that moment, the former Vice-President-in-Litigation made his move. With a great deal of grunting but less struggle than usual he had turned over on the table, and a hint of his manhood became visible as a bump under the hospital-white towel, like a miniature Washington Monument caught beneath the the thick, cold layers of another Ice Age. But that was an illusion: were it not for the triple-layered rolls of belly fat that slid past his waistline and sloughed off between his spongy, varicose-veined thighs, there just might be a whole whopping four, perhaps four-and-a quarter, inches of pulsing Inconvenient Truth lurking beneath that linen.

She was taken aback. She caught her breath, a staccato-sigh of surprise, nay, perhaps even fear. She tried not to look, but couldn't help herself; for even laying down the Vice-President's boobs were strangely bigger than her own, with great, fleshy, earth-toned nipples and the same thick, stiff hairs pointing out of them. They strangely reminded her of Sputnik for a moment, and she was caught in a web of confusion, embarrassment...and lust? She flushed and appeared faint, the first sign of the coming glow of perspiration began to darken the smock beneath her armpits. Her slightly fried-onion-y underarm scent aroused him further -- but this hunter liked to play with his prey first.

"They all react that way...at first", said Al. His dark eyes looked into hers. They were hypnotic, but she could not decide if it was because he was such a magnificent specimen of Old-Money-Hypocrite-middle-aged pork, or because even when he spoke in short sentences he was still such a dashing figure of bone-crushing boredom and banality. She stepped away from the table, but he grabbed her wrist -- gently-yet-firmly and still somehow clammy-and-slimy. She was strangely aroused and repulsed, all at once.

" You know", Al begins., "I was the Inspiration for Love Story..."

Her Drug-store false eyelashes fluttered, her face reddened, and she nervously licked at her lips. Al knew that he had her now; they all fell for that line. Tipper fell hard for it --- that and the inherited Controlling Interest in Standard Oil. So did that Naomi Wolff, that little vixen. He began to remember fondly the six...no...seven whole minutes he had held Naomi in the sodden grip of flop-sweaty passion. It had been his crowning achievement, and had infused him with a sense of manhood that he had not felt since the days when he was writing for Stars and Stripes and pretending to be fighting the War in Vietnam until Daddy could pull enough strings. He remembered the blazing fire of the assault upon Tipper's head on the campaign trail, when he appeared so passionate and devoted to her that he almost sucked her into his being as if he were sucking the Bavarian Cream from the center of a doughnut.

Yes...panting feminists and women in prisons everywhere around the world mailed him their soiled underwear for months after that. Not even Clinton got that sort of love. But that was all in the past; the future, for at least the next three-to-five minutes -- more if he could manage to contain the raging Beast Totem in the Towel -- was now there before him. She was panting now, her chest ( with one breast hanging four inches below the other, and the thick, reinforced underwire of her brassiere became visible beneath the fabric ("Steel-Belted Radials", All liked to call those. He wondered, "Front-loader or back-loader?) was heaving like the stormy North Atlantic.

The Goremeister had caused a Storm in her Maidenforms. She was dead in his sights now.

"Don't be afraid, Yummymuffins. I may have invented the Internet, but no one will know of our passion. It will be OUR guilty secret...".

She wilted at that, delivered as it was with a slight Southern drawl and that sibilant-yet-slightly-effeminate "s" of his. She was now all his. He pulled her closer and began to negotiate the towel so that his throbbing, massive-relative-to-your-average-cocker-spaniel Pelvis Bazooka -- the Green Hornet, as he liked to call it -- could be unleashed in all of it's glory. Yes...she was well-and-truly his, and She would be yet another notch in his ever-expanding belt. There was a flash, like lightning. A quick stirring in his loins, an explosion of ecstasy that caused white-hot spots to float before his eyes, and which made him slightly dizzy thanks to the Watered-Down-Canadian-Healthcare System Viagra he had been taking, and he had marked her forever with a hot load of Environmentally-friendly Man-Milk...all over that sexy-as-a-Phony-Carbon-Credit-Sold-Under-False-Pretenses (allegedly) starched smock. "Mark your territory well", Bill had always told him. It was a valuable lesson. He held her gaze for another seven, maybe ten seconds, so that she could bask in the afterglow. All women needed to bask. Al knew this, being the quiet, passionate, unselfish type who always saw to a woman's needs.

"I'll bet you keep that smock forever, Snugglelumps. No one does it like ManBearPig". She sighed, and was about to speak. "No...not another word about it", he said as he pressed his thoroughly-gooey finger gently across her lips. "We must part now, and keep our Runaway Passion a secret, for those parts of the planet that manage to avoid being flooded by sea-level rise, de-forested by the Inhumanity of Mankind, the shores piled waist-deep in drowned polar bears, all destroyed in the Name of the Internal Combustion Engine, burned to the ground by Acid Rain, or frosted over by the Next Ice Age could never understand what passes between us...".

With that, Al Gore, The Love-em-and-Leave-'Em Ambassador of Mother Gaia, wiped his sexed-up hand upon her cheek, hitched his towel back into place, and in a motion that was reminiscent of a crippled walrus trying to refloat itself from a shingle beach, swung the massive U.S.D.A. Grade-A hamhocks he called legs off the table, and waddled to the door, leaving a tangled mat of greasy back hairs on the smooth, vinyl surface of the table. An Oil Slick of Romance. He paused to give her one last, piercing come-hither look from his watery-yet-still-somehow-smouldering eyes, that bulged out from beneath his Just-for-Men-treated eyebrows, only to find that she was vomiting copiously upon the floor.

It was always the same. Al always had that effect on women; he made them all sooooo fucking hot -- hotter than a rapidly-heating atmosphere burdened with the excess carbon dioxide of a civilization intent upon it's own doom -- that their bodies just could not withstand the onslaught. Now that his Inner-Beast had been Unleashed, he set about seeking more nubile prey. There must be a sixty-plus-year-old T.V. satirist's wife just dying to be Gored by Gore...."

And now you know why I've been puking for a week...

Me and my goddamned imagination! I won't sleep for a year.

How to Piss An EnviroMENTAList Off...

A Discussion I had this afternoon at the local Starbucks (paraphrased). Because I'm a complete jerk, I sometimes like to yank people's chains when they give me an excuse to do so. Especially deeply-committed numbskulls. My arguments weren't even good ones -- I just threw crap at her in order to piss her off. Although I do have to say, she looked AWESOME in that tight t-shirt!

Earnest Tree Hugger: Good afternoon, Sir. Can I ask you to sign a petition asking Congress to forbid any more offshore oil drilling, in light of the nasty spill in the Gulf of Mexico?

Me: You may ask -- but I'm in favor of drilling for all the oil we can, so that we don't have to buy it from murderous Muslims and South American communists.

ETH: Even if it means destroying our fisheries, and marshlands, not to mention millions of migratory birds?

Me: Oil is taken from the ground every day without destroying fisheries you know. It's almost your fault, and by that I mean people who walk around screaming about "Saving The Three-toed Desert Mosquito" that are complicit in that Gulf Disaster, you know? Besides, don't you care about Arab and South American fisheries? Why don't you try to get them to stop drilling?

ETH (taken slightly aback): All we want is for the Big Oil Companies to be responsible for making certain the environment is protected, and to persuade Mankind to change his ways. What's wrong with that?

Me: Why should Mankind change his ways, and what makes you think most people give a hoot about a bunch of migratory birds? Birds don't pay taxes, you know. And so far as I can see, you're only trying to get ME to change my ways. You aren't petitioning the Saudis or Hugo Chavez, you know, and they drill more oil than we do.

ETH (Getting annoyed with me): If we don't change our ways, if we don't break our addiction to oil, and we continue to treat the environment the way we do, we'll all be dead.

Me (reeling the sucker in): Ah, so if we don't change, we're all dead?

ETH (Heavy sigh): We'll destroy the planet, and then where will we be?

Me: Young Lady, do you believe in the Theory of Evolution?

ETH (non-plussed): Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?

Me (smirking): You make an argument that states if Man does not change -- that is to say EVOLVE and ADAPT to a new way of Life -- that Man will be dead. Why is it that Man is capable of Evolving and Adapting --yet fish, swamp beasts, migratory birds, insects, and so forth, who have been here a lot longer than we have -- are assumed to be unable to do so without your enlightened stewardship, or Congressional action?

ETH (Confused): What does that mean?

Me: It means that no matter what happens Nature recovers -- it always does. Either the Fish and Birds can adapt to oily water -- that is to say Evolve -- or they will die, and Evolution will have been proven. By protecting them by retarding the progress of Man, just might possibly be interfering with their own Natural Development. I mean, if Evolution is the Real Deal, the fish and birds will adapt, right?

ETH (Getting aggravated): But that Oil Spill is not a natural occurrence!!!! We're interfering with Evolution when create catastrophes like that!

Me: Of course it's a natural occurrence. Oil seeps out of the ocean floor every day, and our own process of Adaptation involves the manipulation of Nature. Maybe it doesn't seep out in these quantities, but it still does so all the same; the fish and so forth seem able to handle it.

ETH: That oil wouldn't be gushing out like that if we didn't drill for it! It's poisoning everything!

Me: We're drilling that deep because we're not allowed to drill on land, or closer to shore -- and that's your fault, too, you know. And besides, Crude Oil is made up of natural substances, isn't it?It used to be plants and animals at one time, didn't it? Nature created it, it stands to reason that Nature will figure out how to deal with it without our help.

ETH: So you don't care that we're killing off all life as we know it with this spill?

Me: It's hardly ALL life, you know. And no, I don't wish to live in a world that's poisoned, or has dirty air, or undrinkable water, but what makes you think that anything you can do, or worse, Congress can do, will make anything better?

ETH: Well, we have to try!

Me: Try, yes. But not if it makes us all poor and returns us to the Mud Age. By the way, your cell phone -- made from petroleum products, mined metals, and caustic chemicals -- is ringing, Sweetheart. You going to answer that?

ETH (perturbed): No, I'm not. I'm trying to get you to sign this. So, are you going to sign my petition or not? (She offers me her pen, and the sheet of paper -- made from dead trees -- clipped to her plastic -- made from Oil -- clipboard. I point this all out, she rolls her eyes).

Me: No,I don't think so.

ETH: So, you don't care about that Oil Spill, do you? You have no conception of the damage that's being done to our world, do you?

Me: I care about the Oil Spill, Sunshine. I just don't think a petition to Congress will solve the problem.

ETH (Flushing red): Would you stop calling me "Sweetheart" and "Sunshine"? It's very annoying, and sexist.

Me: No more annoying than someone who enters my personal space while I'm trying to read my newspaper, starts sermonizing, and then sticks a petition in my face.

ETH: I said "Excuse Me".

Me: Okay, so you're a polite, sermonizing petition-pusher.

ETH: So, would you please sign my petition?

Me: You still want me to sign your petition, even though I don't believe in what you're doing and you find me annoying and sexist?

ETH: It's for a good cause. You know, you were right about invading your space, and all. Sorry about that. Would you please sign? We're only trying to Heal the Planet.

Me (Noticing that she's changed tactics and is now patronizing me as a way to get me to do something I don't want to -- as if that will work). No, I don't think so, Cupcake.

ETH (now enraged): STOP CALLING ME PET NAMES! I DON'T LIKE IT!

Me: I'm sorry, Sugarshorts, but I'm not signing today. Have a nice day (cracking his newspaper open again).

ETH (Perhaps about to cry): How can you just sit there?

Me: I was doing so before you bothered me, and will do so after you're gone. There's an entire coffee shop full of people; why are you still picking on me?

(ETH has no answer for this, and storms off to bother someone else. I laugh).

I'm concerned about the Gulf Oil Spill because it's a catastrophe that will deprive people of their livelihoods, cost a shitload of money we don't have to clean up, and yeah, I care about pelicans, too. But the combination of Treehuggers and Government are in large part responsible for this mess, and I don't intend to give either any more power or permission to interfere any more than they already have.

We're now seeing what happens when we pay too much attention to environMENTALists, and give far too much deference -- and power -- to Government.

"Obama's Katrina"

So speaks Karl Rove in the Wall Street Journal, with regards to the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

I must take exception with Mr. Rove for this pronouncement, if only because being a political operative, it's his job to paint the opposition in the most negative light he can, and let's face it -- it doesn't get any more negative than evoking the nightmare visions of Hurricane Katrina. Mr. Rove, if given the opportunity and the confluence of different circumstances, might as well have made the point that this spill is "Obama's Holocaust" or "Obama's 9/11", if he could get away with it.

What Rove, and many on the political right seem to overlook is that Katrina, and the government response to it, doesn't lend itself to the same sort of political pretzel logic that this oil spill does. To begin with, this isn't a natural disaster; it's a man-made accident (or as Man-et Napolitano likes to say, "Man Caused Disaster"). Katrina was unavoidable, beyond the ability of man to predict and control. This spill probably was, or at least might have, been less-likely had major mistakes not been made. I say this with the full admission that I am not an expert on the oil industry and off-shore drilling, but from what's been reported thus far, there's a lot of "fell-asleep-at-the-switch" crap out there to give one this general impression.

Secondly, what Rove and the political right fail to recognize is that, unlike Katrina, there are no images of African-Americans too stupid to get out of the path of a hurricane they knew was coming, and watched on television as it crossed the Atlantic for two weeks -- before it finally made landfall. There are no heartbreaking images of children slogging through waist-deep sewage, no reports of gang warfare in the streets, no elderly folks left to die in abandoned nursing homes. There are no "victims" for Chris Matthews, Geraldo Rivera and Katie Couric to sermonize upon and to club a Republican President over the head with. The "outrage" is mostly coming from the predictable precincts: the environMENTAL fringe, James Carville, and the Gulf Tourism Industry, aided by Bobby Jindal (governor of Louisiana) and Mary Landrieu (Senator) who see it as an opportunity for even more federal funding to their state.

(As if FEMA air-dropping Krugerands in buckets into Louisiana post-Katrina -- there's a reason why New Orleans is 30' below sea-level and sinking ever-deeper, you know -- and Landrieu's $300 million Health-Care bribe wasn't enough? Look, you need to clean up that spill for obvious reasons, but dammit, when does the Federal Spigot get shut off?).

I defy any government, no matter how efficient, to deal with these sorts of issues, whether a Katrina-like storm, or a massive oil spill 5,000 feet under water. The problem for GWB post-Katrina is that the "victims" were mostly part of a supposedly-oppressed class which was reflexively trained to believe that "The Government" is supposed to "do something", and upon the discovery that "The Government" (starting with the Mayor of New Orleans and Governor of Louisiana) was unequal to the task, and when the Victim Class found itself stripped of even the simple self-preservation instinct, their resulting plight was that much easier to attribute to a lack of leadership and outright racism. Obama, personally, will not be tarred by this brush in the way that George W. Bush was; he will largely skate -- aided and abetted by the media which has an emotional and ideological investment in the man -- on the worst of the Katrina comparisons.

Where Obama will have problems with this situation is in some aspects of the federal response, such as it has been, and most of those will disappear as soon as a few heads roll. Obama is very good at deflecting criticism by throwing his friends under the bus, you'll remember. As for what that Federal Response has been, and why it's been so dismal, I postulate the following:

1) In this, as in most things, Obama is simply in over his head. Then again, when you present yourself as the Messiah, making such grand pronouncements as "This is the Moment When Global Warming Ends" and "this is the Moment When The Oceans Cease to Rise", well, you get what you deserve. I never expected Obama to part the waters -- or in this case just separate the oil from the water -- because I never had the sort of investment in the Cult of Personality that most Lefties do.

To be fair, it's difficult to expect Obama himself to have the answers to every problem, but you would think that he would at least have access to the best-and-brightest with the expertise to advise him in these situations. It's becoming clear that his best advisers are probably also infected with the same ideological stupidity as their leader; the initial response has been to find a way to make certain everyone knows BP is responsible, especially financially, and then reignite the dormant debate on the need for Green Energy programs. Some have said this has been the goal all along; that the government was going to do it's least so as to further justify the Green Boondoggle.

There's many reports of Obama and BP campaign cash, and the federal regulatory agencies involved with the oil industry being stuffed with to the rafters with porn-surfing, drug-taking, ticket-punchers who want an oil industry gig after their government "service" is ended. This is the modus operandi of every federal regulatory agency, by the way, and it's something that needs to stop. And I thought Obama was against giving Big Business the ability to sway elections and policies with huge campaign contributions? After all, he did call out the Supreme Court on just this notion. If so, how did BP's cash wind up in his wallet? Corruption -- all the way down the line, but mostly within government -- seems to be the common thread that runs through most major disasters (Oil Spills, Financial Crisis, etc.), nowadays.

2) The Greenie Meanies in the Administration may have disrupted or interfered with initial spill responses because of competing environMENTAL agendas; The initial NOAA-approved plan for a controlled burn may have been halted because the EPA was concerned about elevated air pollution levels, or the effect on fisheries. The ability to build sand berms to keep the oil from reaching shore are hung up in EPA red tape over impact statements. In no small part, certain aspects of this disaster are a direct result of The Greenie Meanies and their dumbass Global Warming Cult; they have advocated for tougher regulations for decades (which apparently aren't enforced by the masturbating junkies in government "service", or which can be side-stepped with a campaign contribution), which has pushed the oil industry to drill in ever-deeper waters, further from the coast (because we don't wish to inconvenience caribou, or a few dozen Eskimos, or ruin some summer-vacationers ocean view), so that when disaster strikes, the conditions under which present-day off-shore drilling is conducted make it impossible to swiftly respond.

If you think an oil spill is already hard enough to contain and clean up on dry land or enclosed waters, try containing one 5,000 feet below the surface of the ocean. BP may be in deep shit, as it were, but it was the Tree Huggers, in part, who forced them into deeper water, into taking greater risks, and into pushing the boundaries of modern engineering to this extent. The Green Assholes will never admit their complicity in this disaster, but to them responsibility is always something for other people to exercise and accept, isn't it? This spill is (almost) a direct result of paying Tree-Hugging Retards far too much attention, and exempting government from the same levels of accountability that hold sway in the Private Sector.

Some have gone as far as to say that the Federal Government has conspired NOT to act, so that the Oil Industry can be demonized in much the same way as Wall Street was.

As I write this, President Odickhead is back on television -- and the first words out his mouth are "The Government has been in charge since Day One" and "BP is responsible for this mess". He's already saying that off-shore exploration is being halted, and is setting the case for further government intervention in the industry. The last 37 days belie the "Day One-assertion" made by the Obama Administration, and the rest of this speech is simply the setting-up of the legal framework which will explode into the rationales behind a further restriction of freedoms and commerce. New regulations, Blue-Ribbon Panels and government organizations are on the way -- because this is the solution to every problem on Earth, you know -- which will raise energy prices and hurt an already-anemic economy. These but make Lefties feel better about themselves but will do nothing about reducing American dependence on foreign oil, or meet the energy needs of the country. We're about to further destroy economic progress for the sake of a few thousand windmills that won't work (and which the Greenie Meanies will cry to shut off because they kill birds in the thousands).

You know, none of this would have happened if they were just drilling in ANWAR, already.

Our country is being micromanaged by complete and utter retards who haven't got a clue. On anything. Worse, they are being directed by even bigger retards with agendas. If this disaster hasn't driven that home to you, I don't know what will --short of another 9/11.

Turning Trees Into Tires...

An interesting article on a synthetic rubber and oil substitute made by a process which breaks down living plant material.

Imagine my surprise when the article stated that trees cause smog! Al Gore -- the single biggest smog producer in America -- was unavailable for comment.

(H/T Instapundit)

The Circle of Poo...

One of them Global Warming morons has published a theory that whales crapping in the ocean are vital to protecting Mother Gaia from the dreadful effects of that made-up-scientific-abortion-that-made-Al-Gore fabulously-wealthy.

Apparently, whale shit contains a high concentration of iron, which it gets from the krill that whales eat, which when digested and expelled becomes food for the phytoplankton which the krill themselves eat. Phytoplankton, besides having terrible taste in entrees, absorb carbon dioxide. The theory goes that if you let phytoplankton populations explode -- by increasing the amount of baleen whale crap in the oceans -- the whales will clean up the planet by shitting all over the oceans. The phytoplankton eat the shit, the krill eat the phytoplankton, and the whales eat the krill in larger numbers, and leave bigger and more numerous turds, which leads to more carbon-dioxide-absorbing phytoplankton, and so on and so on.

Eventually, it just somehow seems appropriate that some "solution" to this bullshit "problem" would just have to include the heftier and more voluminous shit of a much larger animal.

Anyways, the scientists who did this study only collected 27 samples of baleen whale excrement, which seems to me to be a very small sample, indeed, upon which to base any scientific estimate, conclusion, or theory, but then again, I'm not a scientist getting a...ahem...shitload...of taxpayer money to scour the oceans for whale poop who has a gravy train to justify.

Maybe it's just really difficult to recover whale crap? Anyways, this sounds more like an excuse to put an end to whaling than it does sound science.

I'm reminded of this classic episode of South Park.

If two slacker cartoonists figured this stuff out years ago, why did it need a scientist with government funding to study it again?

It wouldn't surprise me if that episode wasn't the inspiration for the whole study in the first place.

(H/T To SouthParkStudios.com. Thank you Trey Parker and Matt Stone!)

Today is Earth Day -- Celebrate by Punching a Tree-Hugger...

It also happens to be Lenin's Birthday, in case you've forgotten.

Imagine my absolute horror a few days ago when my four-year-old nephew was telling me all about what his pre-School teacher had taught him about Earth Day. There were the songs, and the little dance, naturally, and there was even talk of an Earth Day Parade, and the "project" he was given to do.

The Project involved the child being given a small flowerpot with a seed planted within. In my nephew's case, it happens to have been a strawberry seed. As Earth Day approached, he was expected to take care of his little flowerpot and nurture his little strawberry bush (or is it a vine? I'm not even sure). I guess this is somewhat educational for a four-year-old; he now kinda-sorta understands that strawberries grow from seeds (I'm waiting for him to make the connection between seeds and babies and ask that dreaded question. When my older nephew asked, and I answered truthfully and in detail, my sister was rather upset, so I'm not getting involved in this one).

But I have to wonder at the ulterior motive. Because while the "assignment" itself was quite okay, the idea that it would be complete by Earth Day when he's expected to show off the fruits, so to speak, of his labor, is more than a bit contrived. I mean, really, how did we reach the stage where teachers are indoctrinating four-year-olds with ideas which have their basis in politics, and which they cannot possibly be expected to understand? Yeah, I know, the schools have always been the laboratory of Social Engineering, but this is outrageous.

Personally, I think it's despicable. If you want to teach lessons on agriculture, the life-cycle of a plant, a sense of responsibility, even, to a child, then I'm all for it. What I object to was that these noble goals were subverted in the service of a political theory based upon junk science, outright lies, and a hidden Socialist Agenda.

Teachers are supposed to teach in a politically-neutral manner, and they aren't supposed to take advantage of the youth and inexperience of their students (and the ignorance and apathy of the parents!) to instill their own political beliefs in the children they're responsible for. It was bad enough those little children couldn't celebrate REAL Holidays like Christmas, Easter or Passover -- they had to call it The Winter Festival, or the Spring Bunny Party, or some other such nonsense, because the Lone Scientologist or Muslim in the class would have their religious and cultural sensibilities deeply offended -- but somehow it was quite okay to preach politics-disguised-as-a-song-and-dance-routine and "homework".

This sort of thing is tantamount to child abuse; they're implanting ideas that the child will probably never be encouraged to explore for themselves later in life. Most of what they're told will remain "fact" because it was given to them by an authority figure and they were too young to ask the proper questions, or lacked the experience to be skeptical.

So, do us all a favor today, and if you manage to see one of these Earth Day Celebrations, kick a treehugger in the ass, and Save the Children!

101 Things You Need to Know About Liberals...

Note: The following is a collection of observations that I have gathered over the years from various sources. I cannot, and do not, claim authorship of any of these maxims.

1. Liberalism is a movement of the well-intentioned, but ill-informed, led by the well-informed and ill-intentioned.

2. At heart, a liberal is an eternal adolescent, forever in search of escape from conventional morality, consequences and responsibility.

3. Freedom from moral consequence can only be secured by a collectivist, totalitarian state.

4. The Liberal religion worships the twin gods of The Government and The Genitalia.

5. A Liberal believes that psychology is a hard science in the same way that physics and chemistry are hard sciences.

6. Freedom, to a Liberal, refers solely to the freedom of the genitalia.

7. All non-sexual individual freedoms are despised by the Liberal because they contain within them an element of personal responsibility, self-sacrifice, or abstention.

8. Collectivism seeks to eliminate the need for personal responsibility and moral consequence by shifting blame for failure from the individual to "society" or "the System".

9. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights are the enemy of the Liberal. Because they are clear in their elaboration of both the rights of the Individual and the Powers of Government, both documents must be subverted, re-interpreted, or ignored, as needed.

10. The Liberal hates the United States because it has been the premier guarantor and promoter of individual rights in the history of mankind.

11. All institutions – schools, environMENTAL organizations, Civil Rights Groups, Law courts, Markets, etc., serve no relevant purpose to a Liberal except when they can be made to promote the concept of the collective.

12. Abortion is necessary to guarantee genital freedom and to further erode the concept of personal responsibility, while eliminating future generations of less-desirable human beings.

14. The Liberal must create an atmosphere of perpetual crisis, fear, and envy in order to justify continued collectivist oppression.

15. Religion is the enemy of the Liberal since it promotes morality and responsibility and suggests an authority set above Government.

16. Despite decades of failure, the Liberal clings to his collectivist ideology because it is HIS religion.

17. Liberals seek to dominate any institution that can be used to undermine or eliminate parental rights, such as schools, child-abuse agencies, pediatric associations, etc. and which can be used to turn children into informants for the State against their own parents.

18. The Liberal seeks to sanction and jail those who dare to home school their children, or who have the balls and wherewithal to raise their children in an environment outside of Liberal control or influence.

19. Individual ownership of firearms is the greatest threat to collectivism and the greatest expression of individual rights, therefore, all Liberals despise guns.

20. All freedoms demand responsible behavior. The Liberal despises responsibility, therefore, he despises freedom.

21. A Liberal worships his pantheon of Kennedys, Clintons, Cuomos, Jacksons, Gores and Obamas, for WHO they are, and in spite of WHAT they are.

22. The Liberal despises National Sovereignty, which is a guarantor of individual freedoms.

23. The Liberal promotes international government, such as the United Nations and the European Union, which seek to destroy National Sovereignty. The Soviet Union did not collapse, it merely moved west.

24. The Liberal is obsessed with the idea of centralized control of all human endeavors.

25. Liberals often speak of tolerance but can only tolerate other Liberals.

26. Liberals seek to criminalize any speech promoting responsibility, morality, or individualism as "hate speech" or sedition.

27. To a liberal, the thought cannot be separated from the deed -- unless one of his or her own is thinking or doing it.

28. Environmentalists lie as a matter of course, promoting paranoia based upon verifiable falsehood.

29. A Liberal’s only method of discourse is to insult and discredit all who disagree with him. Failing that, they attempt to draw attention away from the subject at hand by "moving on" and changing the subject.

30. Your freedom is a Liberal’s oppression.

31. Private property and wealth are disgusting and distasteful concepts to a Liberal -- unless they should have more than you do.

32. Liberals hate freedom-loving people with a passion bordering on mania.

33. The Liberal seeks to replace a moral world-view with an emotional one which can be more easily manipulated for political ends.

34. A Liberal claims to "care" for the homeless, mentally ill, lame, lazy and shiftless, but would never invite one of them into their own home.

35. The Liberal typically chooses a career – law, psychology, academic, bureaucrat, "activist", which produces nothing of value and which uses the power of government to extract the wealth of others.

36. Liberal "programs" enrich Liberals and screw the people they were purportedly supposed to help.

37. Liberals despise masculinity, as they view it as a symbol of individual freedom and power.

38. Feminist groups exist to promote lesbianism and socialism and have nothing to do with "equal rights".

39. The EEOC regularly invents incidents of racism and discrimination in order to justify its existence and to promote the collectivist ideals regarding employment and equality-of-outcome-type Liberal programs or thought.

40. Liberals despise suburbs as the manifestation of individual property and prosperity -- but seem to have no such qualms about gentrifying ghettos.

41. Liberals hate marriage and the family because they are institutions that strengthen the bonds between individuals -- leaving no room for collectivism -- and because they are institutions which frown upon immorality.

42. Liberals despise the automobile as a symbol of personal freedom.

43. Other diseases kill far more people, but Liberals are obsessed with AIDS because it is the consequence of promiscuity and immorality.

44. Liberal activities are driven by ego and a need for self-satisfaction. A liberal believes and does the things he does because he must prove that he "cares" more than you do.

45. Liberals thrive on emotion and die by reason.

46. Anything espoused by a Liberal as "for the children" is a direct assault upon your family, your privacy, your wallet and your rights.

47. Liberals have no compunction against using violence, deceit, or oppression if it furthers the collectivist cause.

48. Liberals are elitists who routinely exempt themselves from the very rules and suggested behaviors they impose on everyone else.

49. A Liberal must accept as an article of faith that my gun has killed more people than Ted Kennedy’s car or Janet Reno's ATF and FBI.

50. Liberals believe that Geraldo Rivera, Katie Couric, Dan Rather, and Oprah Winfrey are "journalists".

51. Liberals howl if a "protected" group is offended by speech or action, but will remain dead silent if the offended happen to be any of the following: Christians, White Males, Heterosexuals or Taxpayers.

52. Liberals believe wealth is static and quantifiable, and that that it should be divided equally. So, if I have "too much money", it follows that I must have stolen someone else’s "fair share".

53. Liberals believe that Richard Nixon was a vile criminal but that Stalin, Mao, and Fidel Castro are "progressive" leaders who had only the best of intentions.

54. All Liberal ideologies tend towards worldwide totalitarianism.

55. A Liberal is quite ready to point out misconduct by a member of a group opposed to them, but will routinely excuse even more vile behavior by their own.

56. Liberals are obsessed with the theory of evolution because the alternatives terrify them.

57. A full-time, stay-at-home mother enrages a Liberal.

58. Human life is cheap in a Liberal world.

59. The Liberal routinely changes the definition of a word to suit his purpose. For example, you have the "choice" to abort your unborn children, but not the "choice" of smoking, owning a gun, or buying an SUV.

60. A Liberal cannot conceive of a problem that cannot be solved without Government intervention.

61. Hillary Clinton's village is a totalitarian state: it used to be called the Soviet Union.

62. Given the chance, a Liberal would ban the Bible, Constitution, Declaration of Independance and  Tom Sawyer as "hate speech".

63. Liberals view people as objects without moral motivation, thus we have the welfare state, abortion rights, etc. Conversely, they view inanimate objects in strictly moral terms, thus they are able to vilify and impart motives to firearms, cigarettes, SUV's, corporations, etc.

64. "Third Way" politics is a new shade of lipstick on the same Socialist pig.

65. Liberals are often intolerant, immature, violent thugs, laboring under the misapprehension that they do what they do for "social and moral causes".

66. The Liberal would sooner pluck out his own eye that to cut a tax.

67. Liberals still believe that Marx was right, despite the evidence to the contrary.

68. Hitler was a Socialist, not a Fascist and certainly NOT a Conservative. (See # 53 and #55).
69. Liberals believe that AIDS kills people because prevention and treatment services are underfunded, and not because people behave irresponsibly.

70. Liberals detest the death penalty, but favor abortion, thus setting up the convoluted idea that it’s okay to save the guilty and kill the innocent.

71. Liberals believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and that doctors are overpaid robber barons.

72. A Liberal believes that gender roles are "imposed by society" and that homosexuality is "normal" behavior.

73. A Liberal believes that business creates oppression and that Government creates wealth.

74. To a Liberal, self-esteem, the concept, is far more important than doing anything to actually earn some.

75. A Liberal regularly engages in symbolism because if he told the truth, no one would listen.

76. Liberals hate the NRA for their defense of the Second Amendment, and praise the ACLU for their perversion of the First .

77. To a Liberal, Taxes are too low and ATM fees are too high.

78. Racial profiling by police departments is wrong, but perfectly acceptable for deciding who gets into Law School.

79. The only difference between a Liberal and a Communist is that a Communist is AWARE of what he is doing.

80. Continued Liberal support for the shiftless, lazy, halt, lame, and crippled is necessary because they are the groups most easily manipulated by fear and envy.

81. Any proposal to build "low-income" housing is applauded by a Liberal, unless, of course, someone chooses to build it on the Upper West Side, or Malibu Beach.

82. In Liberal math, an 8% increase in government spending on any favored program rather than the usual-and-customary 10% increase equates to a 2% "cut" in funding, which somehow always results in someone starving or dying unnecessarily.

83. All of society’s ills can be cured by "education" inside a union-run institution that does no such thing.

84. All Liberals use words like "Ethnocentric", "jingoistic", "homophobic" and "trans-gendered" at least three times a day.

85. All Liberals have a primal urge to refer to any idea that they cannot comprehend -- or merely dislike -- as "sexist", "racist", "homophobic", etc.

86. A Liberal finds it perfectly acceptable to dispense condoms in a public school, but would cry bloody murder if the package had the Ten Commandments printed on it.

87. A Liberal advocates the killing of human beings (abortion) and the preservation of wildlife.

88. A Liberal feels that the only thing wrong with Communist States of the past was NOT that they were founded upon a flawed political ideology and engaged in awful repression, but rather that the results would have been far different if only the RIGHT Communists had been available to run them.

89. A Liberal believes that character doesn’t count...because they very often have none.

90. A Liberal will tell you that the First Amendment protects those that burn a flag, protest at a dead soldier's funeral, or beat up a Tea Party activist, and in the same breath, insist that Rush Limbaugh promotes "hate speech".

91. A Liberal would like to see the National Anthem replaced with the "Two Minutes Hate".

92. Liberals have such high opinions of themselves, their motives, and their ideas, that they would have you believe that the rest of us actually want to live in a world with dirty air and water, hip-deep in starving schoolchildren and dying elderly people..

93. Human nature does not exist to a Liberal, and when it routinely manifests itself, it is routinely ignored, and if possible, legislated and taxed.

94. Liberals view people in the same way a sculptor views a lump of clay, or a block of marble.

95. Liberals believe that man is inherently malleable and that all that’s needed is the proper training of man to enact to collectivist vision of the universe.

96. Loyalty is a concept foreign to most Liberals because it entails responsibility.

97. Ethics can be easily dispensed with in a Liberal world if they conflict with the creation of the collective.

98. Euphemism is the language of a Liberal, and symbolism is his modus operandi. Clarity and actual accomplishments are the enemies of Liberalism because Liberalism thrives on vagueness and the emotional aspects of "struggle".

99. Liberals believe that criminals should have more rights than law-abiding citizens.

100. Liberals routinely invent extra-Constitutional rights in order to further their agenda (i.e. abortion, gender and racial preferences, etc.) and routinely invent "repressed groups" in order to expand the power of the State (i.e. homosexuals, minorities, illegal immigrants, etc.) or to subvert the power of established institutions (i.e. the Church, family, nationalism, etc.).


101. Most Liberals would feel more shame in standing to attention during the National Anthem then they would in stealing from a Poor Box.


Remember these dictums when next President Obambi makes a speech, or Nancy and Dirty Harry introduce some new legislation, when Barney Frank tries to bluster his way out of his moral obligations and responsibility, the next time a Democratic Senator takes a bribe for a vote, the next time a Liberal cries about "racism", or whenever a Liberal is concerned about your health, your children or your status.

Remember this when Obama nominates this next Supreme Court Justice.

Certainly remember them come Novemeber.