I Don't Care if She's a Democrat...

...I'd vote for her just because the rest of the NY Congressional delegation is so damned unattractive! We have the ugliest Congressional delegation in the country here in the New York, and it's a national disgrace!

This stunning lady is Reshma Saujani, and she's about to square off with Carolyn Maloney (Useless Mouth-New York) who turned her husband's murder on the Long Island Railroad into a congressional seat many years ago, and has done nothing else since...except help promote the disintegration of America by voting liberal-line on everything possible.

She's apparently caused a bit of a kerfuffle in democratic political circles by suggesting that she's not exactly an orthodox democratic footsoldier.

Now, if the fact that there's a smart AND attractive democrat female running for Congress in a state that's dominated by the likes of Louise Slaughter, Charlie Rangel, Anthony Weiner and Chuckie Schumer, wasn't enough to make you think about crossing party lines, she's should get the nod just for this:

But if she loses her Sept. 14 primary with incumbent Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-Manhattan-Queens), Saujani said she might just stay home and not vote at all.

"I'm a Democrat, I'm a passionate Democrat, [but] I don't know. I'm going to be honest with you ... I might not vote."

Unfortunately, it was the wrong thing to say, if only because the democratic machine in New York quickly attacked her for having the temerity to suggest that she might break ranks and not support her opponent, if Maloney wins. Quoth some democratic party apparatchik pretending to be a college professor:

"If she plans as running as a Democrat again, it would behoove her to think about expressing support for Democrats," said David Birdsell, a Baruch College political scientist.

And of course, the retraction came right away:

A damage-controlling Saujani spokesman backpedaled via an emailed statement that said simply, "Reshma will vote a straight Democratic ticket on November 2nd no matter the outcome of the primary.

Still, if Miss Saujani wants to come over to "The Dark Side", we republicans would never treat her in such shoddy fashion. Democrats are such bullies. The fact that the democratic party so quickly jumped on someone they usually claim is one of their own (woman, person of color) in order to enforce ideological orthodoxy, though, is extremely telling and let's you know just what their priorities truly are. They aren't interested in finding the best-qualified individuals for those congressional seats, just the most politically-reliable.

Then again, perhaps the fact that they came out so strongly and attacked Miss Saujani over her initial stance is a harbinger of things to come: New York democrats are terrified of losing so many races that they can't afford to lose a solitary vote, not just to gain victory, but in the vain hope that they can perhaps make some of these races look closer than they might otherwise be.
I expect to see at least one repeat of Florida 2000 in New York this November.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I might take the rest of the week off to drool...

UPDATE: I have made an error in identifying Ms. Saujani's opponent. I have mixed up Carloyn McCarthy and Carolyn Maloney. A correction can be found here.

Anatomy of a Government Program...

Ever wonder how a Government Program gets started? I have (Hat-tip to the late Andy Rooney!). I've been giving the process some thought, and I think I have figured it out (bear with me, this gets complicated).

It usually begins when some twit writes a Letter to the Editor. She (it's usually a "She" ) has her tits in a knot because she's been inconvenienced by what used to be called "one of Life's little Turdburgers", and she's mightily upset. Some Congresscritter who needs to find a way to justify It's existence, hefty paycheck and exalted status, picks up on it, and then decides to"help" this poor, downtrodden citizen, because -- dammit -- America is just that sort of country and no one should be expected to suffer the indignities and consequences of simply being alive and clueless!

What follows is a comedy of earnest Congressional nonsense, which requires an expensive and expansive government "solution", which has unintended consequences which themselves require yet more expensive and expansive government "solutions". In the meantime, Life As it Was becomes a little bit harder, and your freedoms and choices are gradually reduced, while your pocket gets picked. The process repeats itself endlessly, as those who had good intentions but bad ideas struggle to remain one step ahead of their own stupidity.

An example:

Some nitwit in San Francisco (it's always some nitwit in San Francisco) tells the harrowing tale of how her little tyke was seriously injured in school, a result of his untied shoelaces. He tripped, bumped his little coconut, and wound up in the Emergency Room, where he was given stitches and his mother was given The Bill for $100.00. It's only $100.00 because her private insurance (her husband actually works for a living and can afford insurance for his family, a rarity considering everyone else is on ObamaCare) paid the other $400.00. However, that $100.00 is a financial hardship -- that money was earmarked for new, matching gold-plated-Second-bathroom-sink-designer-hot-and-cold-water-taps, you know -- and isn't a shame that in Modern America a family must sacrifice and make the dreadful choice between medical care for a child and a home improvement project that would have raised their resale value by several tens of dollars in a down real-estate market that has caused grave economic damage all over the country?

The ordeal has "shaken her faith in America"; apparently, the union teacher who witnessed the fall refused to help the boy because "it wasn't her job" to help him tie his shoes. The distraught Mother didn't even know her son couldn't tie his own shoes (after all, she gave birth to the little demon, how could she be expected to watch it and teach it anything, and besides, isn't this what the schools are for anyway?). She bemoans the fact that with "our busy lifestyles", that she doesn't have the time to teach her children to tie their shoes properly and hasn't got the "resources" to do this (usually because she's busy Facebooking and hand-printing more "Bush Lied, People Died" signs for her Code Pink rally), and "shouldn't something be done about this dangerous and expensive situation?"

Now, Nancy Pelosi reads the Letters to the Editor (or at least one of her Staff reads them for her) because she "needs to know what her constituents are thinking and saying". She picks up on this immediately. Why, who knew that children are being injured by defective shoelaces that come untied of their own accord? Who knew that the skill of knot-tying wasn't being taught in the Public Schools? After all, we teach our children about Anal Sex, Homosexual Marriage and Bestiality! Where is all the taxpayer money going?

Nancy (or rather, her Staff) does some quick research. They find a study done by the University of West Buttfuck on Fire Island, which concluded that 14-out-of-every-6 (liberal math always works this way) people will trip over untied shoelaces in the course of their lives,and suffer "serious" injury (defined as mild embarrassment, and momentary loss of equilibrium). The study is ironclad, unimpeachable -- Charlie Rangel funded it with an earmark stuffed into last year's Agriculture Bill, and the expenditure of taxpayer money must be justified, so it becomes the Bible of the Shoelace Injury Movement.

It also just so happens that another study by the Velcro Advocacy Board (located in Steny Hoyer's District, and funded by an earmark stuffed into a Pentagon Appropriations Bill), a Velcro-Industry Think-Tank, has determined that Velcro never comes unstuck once fastened, and that 743,000,000 Americans could be spared serious injury (defined as any situation likely to cause others to laugh at you) if only their shoelaces were replaced by sturdy Velcro.

The Congressional Black Caucus adds yet another study (funded by another earmark stuffed into a National Park's appropriation for the purpose of fighting forest fires by John Conyers) by a prominent "Black Cultural Organization" which states that Black children are more likely to be injured by untied shoelaces because Ghetto Culture deigns the tying of shoes to be "acting White". If you're going to address the critical problem of untied shoelaces, you must take the plight of Black shoelace-trippers into consideration. Its a Civil Rights Issue, you see.

So now, we have a real "emergency" on our hands! Untied shoelaces constitute a multi-pronged threat to civil society! They come untied, causing children to trip over them, resulting in injury and Emergency Room visits, which cost American families money. The Public Schools are woefully unprepared to teach our children about the dangers, causes and solutions to the threat of untied shoes. Parents are overwhelmed by the ordeal of having to teach the intricacies of the basic slipknot, and Black People are being forced to pay for shoelaces they don't even use! Why, it's a confluence of dilemmas that threatens the very fabric of American life; Public Safety, Health Care, Educational deficiency, Racial Inequality and Consumer Protection issues, all rolled up into one!

Nancy, Charlie, Steny and a few Squishy Republicans get together to "solve" this vital National Emergency, and to save their phoney-baloney jobs by a brilliant display of Law-writing.Their wheels start a'spinnin', Lobbysists drop off thick envelopes of cash, Keith Olbermann has apoplexy on (P)MSNBC, and Evil Republicans who Defend Big Shoelace are excoriated it the Press. What emerges is an absolute gem of Washington problem solving.

The Shoestring Initiative (or SHIT, because Washington loves catchy acronyms) is born.

SHIT requires that all shoemakers stop using shoelaces and makes provision that all shoes in future be secured snugly and comfortably by government-approved Velcro fasteners. Shoelaces will be completely outlawed by 2178, and where that is not practicable, replacement shoelaces will be heavily taxed (except the for the "exempted" ones produced by Union Labor in Louise Slaughter's District, which cost three times as much and break twice as often. That provision will be slipped into the next Homeland Security Bill, because the Evil Republicans in the Senate would vote it down, otherwise). Soon, the entire country will be surefooted and secure, their personal safety never again threatened by the danger of a deadly shoelace.

Five years later, the Zipper Institute of America (in Barney Frank's district) will announce the results of a new study (funded by another earmark slipped into a NASA appropriations bill, because Barney has been looking out for America's zippers forever) in which it has been discovered that Velcro is not very biodegradable, and will remain in landfills for the next 17-and-half Trillion years. American landfills will be full-to-the-brim with unrotting Velcro by 2764, an environmental disaster of epic proportions in the making -- which flies in the face of every U.N. Climate Change Treaty (none of which have never been ratified by the US Congress, but the issue is kept alive for political purposes). Something must be done!
So, the Congressbeasts go back to "work", and what emerges is the new VAGINA Act (Velcro and Garbage Dump Investigation and Neutralization Act). VAGINA requires that no shoe be made with Velcro after Christmas-three-years-ago, and imposes heavy taxes and fines on those still using it. Old shoes containing Velcro will be considered "assault weapons", and all Americans required to turn them in at their local police department (where they will receive a lovely JiffyLube gift certificate as an incentive. Inner city Welfare Recipients don't have cars, so they will be given an equivalent redeemable at their nearest Needle Exchange Program).

Furthermore, all Velcro shoe-fastening arrangements must be replaced by zippers designed to exacting, European standards, made of flimsy, bio-degradable materials, complete with bi-lingual instructions for illegal Spanish-speaking immigrants (that provision will be stuck in the back-end of next year's Inland Waterways Capital Improvement Bill, which no one bothers reading, anyway).

In the meantime, it will soon be discovered that 2,000,000,008 Americans (according the U.S. Census Bureau) will have lost the ability to tie knots of any sort whatsoever, a problem that will result in heavy loss of life to mountain climbers, S&M enthusiasts (many in Barney Frank's zipper-loving district), surgical patients, cowboys and those expecting to be rescued from burning buildings and other emergency situations by the local Fire Department. Just as Congress turns it's attention to this issue, the Feminazis will take the Boy Scouts to court, charging them with discrimination and patriarchal oppression of Womyn because they STILL insist on teaching young boys to tie knots in secret, male-dominated-crypto-fascist-Womyn-Bashing-Circles, while denying the same accommodation to little girls. They'll bash Sarah Palin as a Gun-toting-Right-Wing-Retarded-Baby-Making-Eco-Nazi for daring to defend the Boy Scouts and the Free-Enterprise rights of Big Velcro...and Haliburton... for good measure. Rachel Maddow will vow to shave her beard on national television in support of her "sisters".

But not to worry:Nancy, Steny, Charlie, Barney, Louise and a "Reaching-across-the-Aisle-in-Bi-Partisan-Fashion" John McCain will be Johnnys-on-the-Spot, proposing the solution to the "Knot-tying Gap" between the genders with the new Females United against the Clove-Hitch Knot Decree, or FUCKED Act.

And now you know just how it is that we all, eventually, get FUCKED.

And Blago Might Be Going to Jail for What, Exactly?

Compared to these guys in the NY State Senate, not to mention Washington, D.C. Blago is a fucking Boy Scout. Now, I have no sympathy for Public Union Bosses, a form of life on par with pond scum, and anything that takes 50k of probably stolen-from-the-taxpayer funds from them is all well-and fine in my book. But if this Senator Klein had a vowel at the end of his name, you just know there'd be a Federal Prosecutor somewhere with an erection and the urge to scream"RICO Predicate! RICO Predicate!" and the way to the courthouse.

This sort of thing happens in Albany constantly, and guess which political party has dominated that city and political culture for a very long time? I'll give you a hint; they still think Bill Clinton is innocent.

Labor has been in bed with the democratic party forever, so I guess Klein was doing what any good whore does and making certain the customer knows the price before he gets screwed. These Union Bosses should have known better (because crime is a way of life for most of them), but like crack addicts, they're addicted to a lifestyle that involves corruption, connivance, and now open bribery, of public officials. Why, it's so open now that politicians no longer wait for them to be offered, but instead solicit them openly and unabashedly! How else did you think that clerk at the DMV -- the one who needed four tries to pass the GED, who always seems to go on her third break of the hour just as it's your turn to conduct business, and perhaps shuffles papers for three hours a day, and earns 80K a year -- got that sweet job? The "Public" Unions own this state; they've bought it lock, stock and barrel, and the democratic party banked the sale price in terms of campaign contributions and "volunteers" on Election Day.

The price has now gone up. Now you need 50k just to buy the opportunity to be ass-raped for a campaign contribution and election-day "volunteers". Unless you only want the equivalent of a political handjob...which will still cost you $25,000. It all depends on how much you've got and how dirty you want to get.

I love this quote:

"This is 'pay to play' run amok," said a longtime Democratic activist. "In the current climate of Albany as an ethical cesspool, how could they be so blatant?"

In another time and place, it was once called the Audacity of Hope. Perhaps Albany takes it's queues from the big boys and girls in Sodom-on-the-Potomac? With such fine and upstanding examples of civic-minded paragons like Charlie Rangel Louise Slaughter and Chuckie Schumer to emulate, how could the NY State Assembly possibly not learn that graft and corruption pays...and apparently very well.

And you wonder why nearly a decade after 9/11 there's still a giant crater in Lower Manhattan?

State of Confusion...

Charlie Rangel. David Paterson. And now, you can add Eric Massa to that short and disgusting list.

A tax-cheating Tax Writer, a corrupt governor who followed another corrupt governor, and an alleged homosexual harasser. This is the cream of the New York Democratic Party.

When it was republicans, and it was Duke Cunningham (bribe taker) , Tom DeLay (perennial line-walker), Mark Foley (alleged pedophile) and Larry Craig (Airport Men's Room Lothario), there was no talk of "leave of absences", no stepping aside so as not to "become a distraction to my party" or feeble defenses like "I just used salty language"; the talk was all about resignations. Those men, when caught with their hands in the cookie jar, or in lesser and various states of inflagrante delicto, were hounded out of office. Mostly by their fellow republicans amidst the high-pitched keening of their democratic counterparts who were outraged, outraged I tell you!, at their stunning lack of propriety and inexcusable corruption.

So much so that they became poster children for the 2008 anti-republican Congressional races that created Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who vowed to "drain the swamp" and run the Most Ethical Congress in the History of the Universe.

Unless, of course, that meant she had to prosecute democrats for ethical and legal lapses. Republicans at first covered for Craig and Foley in order to keep their votes in the last days of the Profligate Republican Congress, but eventually the more reasonable and responsible voices within the party talked them out of that shameful convention. With ObamaCare on the block, and Nancy needing every last vote, and every last avenue for back-room deal-making, Charlie Rangel doesn't have to resign; he's granted a "leave of absence".

Robert Packwood was hounded from office over his sexual improprieties, and serial sexual harassment of female staffers. A "victory" that democrats still revel in to this day. They took great delight in exposing Craig's and Foley's alleged homosexual peccadilloes and alleged pedophilia, but they'll eventually circle the wagons for Massa -- there's gay sexual predators and then there's Our Gay Sexual Predators, apparently. The jury is still out on this one, but don't discount Nancy's ability to delay investigation of Massa long enough to get his vote on ObamaCare. Massa will stay for as long as she can possibly manage.

As for David Paterson, well, the mind is just baffled. Siccing the State Police on the ex-girlfriend of your homeboy to keep her from getting restraining order against him is pretty low. Now Paterson is accused of accepting "illict gifts" (i.e. bribes), and there have also been rumors of sexual misconduct on his part. Rod Blagoevich is facing federal prosecutors for simply talking about potential corruption, it seems, and David Paterson isn't for his actual corruption.

These three men are simply the boils. The pustules that arise when the disease begins to manifest itself. They are the indication that something is wrong with the Body Politic in New York State. When you add the most visible signs of these three to the other symptoms, the raging itch (Chuck Schumer), the Dizziness (Kirsten Gillibrand), the nausea (Louise Slaughter), the bad smell (Adolphus Towns), the constipation (Sheldon Silver), the loss of bladder control (Anthony Weiner), and you don't need to be a physician to diagnose the problem; They're all democrats, and democrats infest this state from top to bottom.

Tammany Hall didn't disappear: it simply took a long vacation. The Party that once boasted Daniel Patrick Moynahan, now boasts Spitzer, Rangel, Massa and Paterson.

The usual remedy, a good shot of GOP anti-biotic, could have been the best and least painful treatment, but the New York GOP is in disarray. It's i the position of being unable to choose between execution by firing squad, hanging or being crushed under heavy stones. There is, for all intents and purposes, NO GOP AT ALL in New York State. It's been destroyed from within in pointless battles between fiscal and social conservatives, and the regional cronyism that sees candidates elevated for election based solely on "who they know". It's a party that nominates a Rick Lazio or a Dede Scozzafazza over coffee in which less than a dozen GOP bigwigs were ever assembled.

The last batch of republicans of note in this state included Guiliani, D'Amato, Molinari, and Pataki. Can you begin to realize how long ago it was that those were household names? The current version of a successful republican is Micheal Bloomberg, and I wouldn't follow him into my own house; for him, "republican" was simply the easiest label to buy.

The New York GOP is spent. The new generation of democratic party politicians is like a strain of penicillin-resistant syphilis. The GOP can't mount any sort of a comeback when it's ranks are depleted and what remains behind is a mix of hapless dolts, electoral punching bags, and stock jokes. New York State may be lost, except for one joker in the deck; the Tea Party.

Right now, it looks as if the combination of public outrage (not in New York City, of course. Here, the recipient class will fight for Rangel and Paterson to the last because of the color of their skin), exposure and the need to clean out what is so obviously a filthy pigsty in Albany and Washington, might do half the job of cleaning up New York. The other half will have to be done by responsible citizens who are motivated to kick these assholes to the curb. The GOP can't do it; but the Tea Party might.

I'm almost embarrassed to say "I'm from New York", but I'm holding a slight glimmer of hope that there is a critical mass of corruption and stupidity that has been reached that be transformed into a movement of holding our politicians responsible, and firing the worst of the lot.

Douchebag of the Week (2/28/10): Louise Slaughter...

(Note: This feature is a bit early this week, as I have much to do on Monday, and blogging will be light-to-nonexistant).

Louise Slaughter (Dingbat, NY) is living proof that no matter what the biological experts have told you, a mule most certainly CAN successfully reproduce...and the end result will be some kind of stubborn, butt-ugly, impenetrably-stupid sort of beast with ungainly features, which emits a loud, ungodly-nasal braying sound that sets the nerves on end so badly that it can cause your scrotum to jump back into your chest cavity.

The Beast can bray all day long, but once you get used to it it's like any other background noise -- after it's initial shard-of-broken-glass-like shock -- and you begin to ignore it, to filter it out. Your subconscious mind decides that if you take this seriously, if you continue to listen to the noise, you will be driven insane and so it blocks it all out, and besides, you've wasted enough time wondering how and why this Beast should sounds like this, and decide that you have better things to do. Before you know it, years have passed, and you've forgotten the painful sights and sounds associated with the Beast.

Years later, when you are reminded of the Beast, you find it has had an awful lot to say in the intervening years. But you haven't been listening for a long time, and so you've barely remembered how monumentally-stupid it was back when you first heard it, and think it couldn't possibly have gotten worse with the passage of time. Now, when you've been forced to take notice again the Godawful Noise comes back and it's spouting things that defy the boundaries of simple words like "stupid", "idiotic", "retarded". A new class of adjectives might be required. And somehow, you realize, this Beast that you once ignored has somehow managed to make a successful career out of useless, painful noise and stupefaction.

Such are the qualities of Representative Louise Slaughter. Yet another Carpetbagger (why is it that this state continually looks outside it's own borders for it's liberal Congressional representation?) she's managed to reverse the old formula of Reconstruction -- a period that she's old enough to remember well -- and move from Kentucky to New York to bring her special brand of bullshit. She's been in the Congress for a very long time, alternately vegetating and gathering dust, and now Alzheimer's might be setting in, because she doesn't sound reasonable or very coherent. She's getting worse in her Old Age (it's said that Louise is so old that when she attended school, there was no such thing as history). The only thing more dangerous than letting an elderly and apparently-confused Louise Slaughter at an open microphone on national television, is to let her at an open microphone so that she can tell the outrageous -- and so-obviously-totally-contrived -- tragedy of a woman who had to use second-hand dentures. Worse, she might regale you with some nonsense about how an insurance company now considers domestic violence to be a pre-existing condition. The resulting footage is hardly very pretty.

After a hard day of listening to President Obama fall in love with the sound of his own voice all over again at the Potemkin-Health Care Summit, and having delivered her Dentures and Dignity diatribe, Louise slipped back into her coffin for a quick afternoon nap, taking the opportunity to have her fangs (no second-hand oral prosthetics here!) sent out to be cleaned and sharpened so that she could sink them into something she really and truly cares about even more than fictional women who swipe their dead sisters' upper plates;

Prosecuting CIA agents who interrogate terrorists.

I wonder, would Louise consider it a gross violation of human rights if terrorists were forced to use second-hand dentures? She probably thinks it evil that we have dedicated professionals doing the things that need to be done in order to defend this country against those who would kill us. No dentures for the indigent is a crime in her mind, but defending the country she wants to cough up the free phony ivories is a no-no. Getting taxpayer-subsidized choppers is a human right, being able to walk down the street without having to dodge airliners and falling office towers is not. Because of the activities of our CIA, FBI and Military interrogators, Louise Slaughter and her cohorts of the Criminally Stupid everywhere are able to live in a world where they have time to devote to this sort of nonsense, where they can earn a really good living being an idiot in public, and still remain safe enough to reorder their personal priorities so that the subject of hand-me-down teeth takes precedence over physical security and liberties.

People who are capable of thinking this way are every bit as dangerous a terrorists. Perhaps we should waterboard them, too? People like this drop IQ points with every bathroom visit.

The law which she tried to introduce by underhanded means -- and which the House dems quickly yanked off the floor when it was discovered -- was stuck into an amendment which was itself stuck into another amendment which authorized the extension of certain aspects of the Patriot Act -- you know, that evil piece of Bushitler legislation that dems all screamed was a violation of basic human and civil rights, but have voted to extend four or five times already?

The super-secret-camouflaged-stealthy amendment would have held our intelligence folks at risk of criminal prosecution if they so much as sneezed in the direction of a terrorist in custody. If they made a terrorist physically or mentally uncomfortable, if they ridiculed him, if they demeaned and degraded or tricked him, if they played upon his fears and cultural taboos in order to get information, the interrogators could be prosecuted and sent to prison. She tried to sneak this amendment in, literally, in the dark of night, and in a way which precluded any debate on it. In fact, had someone not been alert enough to question what the Amendment was -- on the House floor and as it was being added -- it would have passed into law without anyone knowing...except the first people to be prosecuted.

A classically-douchey move all around. Nice going, Louise.

Look up "Douchebag" in the dictionary, and you'll probably find a picture of Louise Slaughter somewhere next to the definition. We salute you, Louise Slaughter. Congratulations on being named as the biggest douchebag in America this week.