Wednesday, July 07, 2004

The Second String...
So, John Kerry has finally decided to choose someone to share the pain of defeat with him in the the person of John Edwards.
This would be laughable if the demotwits weren't actually serious about this ticket.

We can yack all day long about what the pointy heads on TV have to say about it, but none of it really matters to anybody except the political junkies. What should matter to PEOPLE is what this sort of alliance actually represents.

John Kerry is the quintessential child of the 1960's in that he fought "the establishment" until he became "the establishment" himself, but continues to pretend otherwise. That's okay as far as most folks of his generation are concerned because their morals, ethics and ideas, are all situational. What is right today can be wrong tomorrow, depending on how you feel or what your priorities are. As an example, this kind of mindset will cry incessantly about the plight of the homeless, but will cringe when you decide to build a homeless shelter in their backyard. The crowd that marched for civil rights is perfectly content to move to the suburbs so that they don't have to bother with blacks, until there's some real cheap ghetto neighborhoods that need gentrifying, causing the Diversity to seek residence anyplace else except gated communities. Those that will tell you that America has a load of collective sins to atone for with welfare, affrimative action, et. al, will be the first to miss the irony of their argument: a hand out is every bit as insulting as second-class status. Kerry encompasses all of these contradictions in one, bite-sized morsel.

As for Edwards, he's as fake as a Wal-Mart Faberge egg. You can forget the aw-shucks, Southern farmboy charm and the rakish good looks. He's an empty suit. He's the democrat's answer to Dan Quayle. This is a man that made a living as a parasite -- trial attorneys are just about all parasites -- yet can claim with a straight face that he fought for "the people". If you believe that, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. No lawyer ever does anything for altruistic reasons (and the one's who do have their idealism pounded out of them right quick)-- they exist in the same way and for the same reason catfish do: there's a good living to be made in shit.
In fact, in order to be a good lawyer, must be able to juggle a routine that is part acting, part mental gymnastics, part dishonest manipulation of the rules to achieved a desired end, and the ability to fling horseshit at light speed. I dated a lawyer and she even told me: the vast majority are anal-retentive simpletons that just happen to have a talent for semantics.

This sums up the ticket nicely: a self-centered, immoral patrician with more positions at his disposal than a $1,000 a night call girl, and with the ability to pick and choose which one he will believe today, as he needs it. The second part is a dimwit with an accent that reminds folks of Andy Griffith, but who has somehow managed to suck enough life force from the host body-politic and legal system to keep himself in $2,000 suits. He couldn't muster up enough intellectual firepower to pull a greasy piece of string from a whore's ass, but his job is to just sit there and look good.

This synergy of mediocrity is supposed to make people excited about voting democrat this November. The platform runs something like this:

1. We're NOT Bush
2. America can only be strong when we surrender to France.
3. Did we tell you we're not Bush?
4. Tax cuts are evil things -- we belive in progressive taxation which means shifting the tax burden onto anyone but ourselves.
5. Jesse Jackson and his sycophantic legions are still somehow relevant.
6. Dammit, we're NOT BUSH!
7. I served in Vietnam and then became a traitor to my country, accusing my fellow veterans of war crimes and insisting there be trials for them, except, of course, the war crimes which I myself committed.
8. Vote for Kerry before he gets uglier.
9. The two of them will simultaneously claim to be "just like JFK" which will cause all democrats to have aneurysms due to the multiple orgasms they'll all have. Nostalgia for bad presidents runs rampant in demo-knucklehead circles.
10. Just as an aside, we're not Bush, okay?

We're witnessing something unheralded in American politics: human sacrifice. This is the best cannon fodder the democrats can come up with because it is a party devoid of anything to say, or anyone to say it. I rest easy tonight contemplating 4 more years of Bush to be followed by 8 years of Condoleeza Rice.

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