Wednesday, May 28, 2014

An Open Letter To An Inconsiderate Dumbass...

I know this has but little chance of succeeding, but it seems a good place to try to get some vicarious justice, and perhaps serve as a warning to all the other inconsiderate dumbasses of the world.
I want to thank the anonymous person who feels perfectly free to empty the contents of their car into my garbage cans, or simply dumps them on my lawn, at least once a week.

The two Sanitation summons I have received because someone put a bunch of aluminum cans in with my "normal" household trash, and on another occasion because loose trash was haphazardly tossed on the ground at the foot of my trash cans, were especially appreciated.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Douchebag of the Week (4/13/14): Eric Holder, Victim of Racism...

Pity Attorney General Eric Holder.

No, seriously.

It must be tough to live in an America which is so vilely racist that a member of a formerly-enslaved race can rise to become the Chief Law Enforcement Officer in all the land, with, apparently, no intention or clue as to how to actually, you know...enforce the law. Or maybe even understand it.

I mean, it can only have happened in someplace less-racist, like, say, Zimbabwe or China, that the son of Caribbean immigrants could grow up in the slums of New York, live a life of abject poverty in a hardscrabble fight for a decent life, be deprived of opportunity by the pernicious legacy of the slave trade, and then, by dint of hard work, inspiration, a do-or-die spirit, manage to raise himself up by his bootstraps to complete law school, to become a judge, engage in national politics, and then reach the very pinnacle of success by virtue of sheer competence and skill.

Yeah, that couldn't happen in racist America.

Then again, that's not Eric Holder's story, either.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

160 Reasons Why Liberals Suck...

The Hits just keep on comin'!

It has been a very long time since this list began with merely 50 Reasons Why Liberals Suck, and the passage of time has simply allowed the modern liberal (small 'l' intentional) to continue to demonstrate the very special species of brain injury that underlies their philosophical and ideological outlook on all things.

You can read the last iteration of this series, 145 Reasons Why Liberals Suck, here.

In the meantime, enjoy this expanded list and take a moment to have some pity upon the poor souls who...I hesitate to say "think" this fashion. And then realize that these assholes, at present, hold many positions of responsibility in the Modern World, and see if you can figure out just why it is that things seem so ingloriously fucked up.

And then get angry...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Bureauacracy Rampant...

I had occasion to accompany Tess to the New York City Department of Vital Records, yesterday, in an effort to recover some very important and necessary documentation, and was treated to a first-hand experience of just how stupid and quite redundant most public union...ahem...workers...are.

That picture on the left? That's a Rube Goldberg. For those who were born under rocks -- or after X-box, which is sort of the same thing -- Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist who used to create images of the most outrageous machines that performed the simplest of everyday tasks.  The point was to go to an extreme to avoid doing something simple and mundane. This one shows a machine that wipes somebody's mouth without them having to dirty their hands. This fairly describes the Bureaucracy of the City of New York: why work efficiently when you can add so many complicated steps to the process? And employ a lot of seemingly useless people while you're at it?

After all, it's only TAXPAYER MONEY, right?

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Apathy Explained...

My apologies for such a long absence. I normally would not have gone this long without making a post of any kind, but truth be told, I'm in a phase where I could really give a shit.
Sure, I could have posted 500 of the Obama/Pelosi/Liberals/Feminists/Muslims-Are-Stupid-type articles over the last month and a half. Heck, I can do that in my sleep. The problem is that it gets repetitive. One can only make the same self-obvious statements (well, to anyone with a pulse and a baboon-level IQ, that is) before one begins to feel as if there is no point to it. That is to say, there is no point in making the same points.

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Lunatic Will Be Back Shortly....

Apologies for lack of activity, but the Lunatic has been extremely busy this past month. A new stream of mental diarrhea is on track for next week. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Douchebag of the Week (1/25/14): Governor Andrew Cuomo

There's an old saying in these parts, that is, on Staten Island, the Forgotten Borough of New York City, that the "apple does not fall far from the tree."

In our crankier and less-forgiving moments, this saying is often modified thusly:

"The turd doesn't fall far from the asshole..."

Oh, how we have been blessed here in New York State! We have had the distinct pleasure (about as pleasurable as having your ass shaved with a cheese grater and then having lemon juice poured on the wound) of living under the enlightened despotism of two Cuomos. First, there was Mario (the Asshole), and now, we suffer under the misguided stupidity that is the regime led by his son, Andrew (The Turd).

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Tale of Two Kitties...

I have to do it this way, Kiddies, because otherwise Libtards don't understand. I've discovered recently that a Libtard manages to just barely grasp a simple notion if you present it graphically, and if you can include cat pictures, they love it even more.

Now, I know that people are not the same as cats, but bear with me, because I have to explain a thing or two about these animals before I make my argument. Perhaps after this little explanation, the analogy will start to make sense. The cat on the Left  (below) is a pampered housecat. The one on the Right  (below) is a feral cat, and yes, my use of Left and Right does have a specific point, and that will become crystal clear as I get to the end of this little screed.

The pictures of the two felines below are a metaphor for American Life: