Thursday, April 14, 2011

Birth Tourism for Fun and Profit...

This was posted last week at Five Feet of Fury, and I had meant to talk about it, but got sidetracked. It's about the new phenomenon of Chinese Birth Tourism, wherein pregnant Chinese women travel to America so that their children can be born in American hospitals with the intention of gaining of American citizenship and all the benefits that accrue to a citizen.

Especially the welfare and education benefits.

And it's not just the Chinese who do it, you see.You'd have to have been living under a rock not to have heard of the phenomenon of Anchor Babies, especially in the context of the debate over Hispanic (illegal) immigration in the United States, too.

It was once said that "the Law is an Ass", and never was that more demonstrable than in the matter of who we give citizenship to, under what circumstances that privilege is granted, and the politics surrounding the beneficiaries.

You want to know why your taxes continue to go up, while your wages keep falling? Here's part of your answer. Anchor babies, H1-B visas, and illegal immigration all for the purposes of living high on the American Hog; a deliberate plan to steal citizenship and all the welfare, legal and educational benefits that entails.

Both political parties, incidentally, are responsible for this: Libs need a constant stream of poor and stupid folks to fill the voter rolls so as to continue to play the Class Warfare card and keep the retarded ideology of their pet causes alive, and Repubs need to ensure that farmers and businesses have a continuous supply of cheap and exploitable labor, and a perennial campaign issue.

If it were up to me, I'd start shooting people at the border and the airports and then clarify just exactly what the 14th Amendment actually says and then cast that reformation in concrete for centuries to come. But then I'm a racist douchebag who hates people of color, or so I'm told (not true: some of my best girlfriends were non-white, and they, at least, will do laundry without bitching about breaking a nail).

Money Quote:

"Americans are indoctrinated to think that the reason we are, on average and by global standards, because of our "propositions" or "diversity" or "immigration" or whatever. But the main reason, of course, is that there weren't enough American Indians to stop us from taking America away from them."

Some will read that and say "Aha! See? White European Imperialism! You stole this land from People of Color and therefore we're  (regardless of which "of color" you happen to be) entitled to get some of ours back!"

In days of yore, there wouldn't have been an American Indian left alive to bitch about having his land stolen. It is an historical anomaly that in 'stealing' the land of the American Indian, we White people managed to leave so many of them alive, their descendants living in their own sovereign nations (Casinos?), as wards of the State.

No Carthaginian Peace here! In fact,social reformers of the18th and 19th century tripped all over themselves, and nearly drown in pools of their own tears, trying to bring 'civilization' to the Indians, and all they managed to create was a ghetto with tepees, in most cases. Social reformers usually manage to achieve so little (with predictable results) because their goals are disconnected from reality, you see. I wonder how many billions have been poured into the Reservations, and just what, exactly, any of it has accomplished, except perhaps higher-than-average meth and alcohol use?

And in the stragest irony of all ironies, it seems as if some immigrant groups are coming to this country now not to conquer it or to become a part of something greater, but to achieve a status much like that of the American Indian! And why not? The government will allow it, libtards will defend it, and repubs will simply wail and gnash their teeth, and then hire the immigrants, anyway. It's cheaper than hiring Americans, after all, and the fines aren't all that bad.

See, here's the truth: the American Indian lost his struggle with the White Man because his was an inferior culture, by any meaningful measure, unable to adapt to changing circumstances. At current rates of immigration (especially illegal) American Culture will soon face the same fate. It will slowly be bastardized by imported social mores and conventions which will have to be accommodated, if only because growing numbers of people will be here professing them.

Now consider this:

Why does Mexico suck so hard? Why is China a dirt-poor (don't believe the hype!) dustbin with little to offer besides starving masses? Why does the Middle East produce fanatical murders with poor hygiene?

Answer: because they're all full of the same people who are coming here, Asshole!

Unlike the Indians, America will not succumb so much to an invasion from without; No, it will invite it's deadly virus in, and in fact, lavish it with gifts. These folks are coming from societies and cultures wherein the words 'democracy', 'republic', 'constitution', 'rule of law', have little or no meaning. They will be discouraged from assimilating into American life by political parties, academics, big business,, the better to manipulate them. The resulting demographic changes due to influxes of huge masses of ill-educated, unassimilated dregs from Third-world Shitholes with Inferior Cultures will make for new political realities, and politicians (being the parasites they are) will respond to them, destroying superior American Culture one piece at a time, trading serial perversion of the System for votes.

Immigration is fine. I'm the descendant of Italian Immigrants, myself, and so long as the paperwork is filled in, the new arrivals are paying income taxes (one of the lies of the Unfettered Immigration for All crowd is that illegals pay taxes; yes -- only the ones they can't avoid, Dipshit! -- but not Income Taxes) , speaking English, assimilating and in possession of at least an inkling as to what it means to be an American, then I'm all for it. Let 'em in.

It's the exploitation of loopholes -- most of them put into the law specifically by Congresscritters who have been paid for the privilege of destroying their country -- and the lack of enforcement of existing law, that gets my goat. I say we pass a law, and make it retroactive to say, 1986 (when Reagan declared a general amnesty) that if you're born in American hospital you are not granted citizenship unless at least one parent is already a citizen. Otherwise, you're shit out of luck.

But if you needed proof that we're being harmed by our own stupidity over the immigration issue, here's your proof. On the Internet, and brazenly advertised.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"Whore" Is Never A Good Career Choice...

There's two sorts of trollops in this world: the ones who end up decomposing on a beach on Long Island, and the ones who willfully, blindly, and unconsciously choose physical and mental serfdom because it's easier than getting a real job, while laboring under the false impression that they are 'empowering' themselves.

A Playboy Bunny complains about her Sexual Serfdom. Yawn. You have to give her points for this belated observation:

"Little did I realize that by moving into the mansion I was losing all the freedom I associated with the Playboy lifestyle."

Well, DUH!!!! What do you think happens in a whorehouse, Dipshit? It might be a fancier, better-decorated whorehouse, in a ritzy zip code, but it's still a whorehouse all the same!

It's also good to know that there's plenty of STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and dog shit floating around Hef's digs (allegedly) to make the place a Disneyland of the Disgusting. It all certainly must provide the proper ambiance.

Not to be a jerk, but some women can be monumentally stupid, even after 50 years of 'Feminism', and probably BECAUSE of 50 years of Feminism, if you ask me. The 'Why" is not all that difficult to understand: Feminism tells women that they posses a weapon more powerful than a nuclear warhead -- a vagina -- and then instructs them on how to use it to their supposed advantage, using it liberally in this case, judicially in others, as the circumstances dictate.

It never tells them that while Men might be grateful for sex, and thus -- for a time -- behave themselves in a way the Woman requires for so long as she sees fit to bestow her graces upon him, it singularly neglects to inform them (because then this would cause the entire mentality that underlies Feminism to collapse under it's own (water) weight) that Men are perfectly capable of going someplace else for a little Belly Bumping when you won't oblige.

Feminism, -- much like Communism and Barack Obama Economic Schemes -- discounts human nature and reality, when it doesn't obstinately refuse to acknowledge the existence of either completely. Any serious study of biology will tell you a simple truth about Men: we're Opportunists, and we're hard-wired to fuck everything that moves. If you won't, then surely someone else will, and if the basis of our relationship is you using Sex in order to profit(materially or professionally), then we'll, eventually, figure it all out and head for greener pastures rather than continue to be played for suckers.

You want to know how I know Feminism is a complete failure? Because I've never met a HAPPY Feminist, and they all have the same complaint about Men: they're all Sunshine and Skittles when you're giving it up on a regular basis. but as soon as you ask for that Promotion, the better grade, or the Diamond tennis bracelet, they're out of there so fast they leave a vapor trail behind them.

Feminism conveniently forgets to tell them that Men are Masters of Manipulation. Offered as proof: it has been (mostly) Men who have invented things like Psychiatry, Marketing, Mass-Media and Propaganda, which are all often concerned with feeding you the biggest plate of bullshit you've ever seen in your life, while making you eager to scarf it all up with a tablespoon and then ask for more. In one of the greatest ironies in all of History, it's apparent that without Men to lay the groundwork (political, ideological, scientific, legal, communications, moral, etc) for it, Feminism could probably never have existed in the first place!

It's enough to make you wonder if Feminism wasn't always some nefarious plot hatched by an evil genius with overactive gonads.

Hell, even at my advanced age and expanding waistline, I still have a phone book (relatively) full of booty calls, fuck buddies and hump-and-a-hot-dog dates, and the only reason there isn't a steady supply of hot-and-cold running vaginas here at Lunatic Central is because there's no challenge in it (we do still enjoy The Chase, and forming the intellectual and emotional bondsnecessary for a committed relationship, even if we never say so), and because I've (mostly) outgrown the Easy Conquest. And even if I didn't have such a resource at my fingertips, there's still enough low-hanging fruit available on a daily basis to ensure that the problem of where to park a boner for an evening when the usual, ready supply is unavailable is not an insurmountable one, on par with climbing Everest or splitting the atom.

Thank you, Feminists!

(Ed. Note: Rule of thumb, Gentlemen: the more divorces a woman has on her record, the easier she is to get naked. I personally know two who have three or more to their credit who screw like minks without you having to buy a mink, first).

Hugh Hefner simply recognized a set of circumstances that these ladies didn't, or which they already knew but wouldn't/couldn't admit to themselves -- they're all looking for a free ride in life; they've discovered that their looks open a lot of wallets, they've been trained to give it up with little thought by Feminists as a means of 'personal liberation' for the last five decades, and most people lack the same critical thinking skills you'd expect to find in an armadillo. These women (Hef's Harem) are basically trading their bodies for a nice place to live, a measure of fame, unlimited plastic surgery, and a thousand bucks a week. And some of them are so desperate for even that questionable bounty that they're willing to further degrade themselves and fuck an 80-yr-old cardboard cut-out hopped up on Viagra.

Because it beats working for a living, doesn't it?

Predictably, the dumber ones find themselves grateful for the opportunity, and the ones with at least two braincells to rub together eventually become bitter when they finally realize they've been had. When we reach that stage then someone has to be blamed for this bitterness and feelings of being taken advantage of -- but not to worry, Feminism has an answer for that one too -- it's called 'Victimhood'. The idea that someone who's made a bad life choice and doesn't like the consequences isn't really complicit in their own descent into crapitude is the hallmark of Feminist Thought (contradiction in terms).

It's always someone else's fault, and someone is always being taken advantage of. No one is ever responsible for anything, unless of course, it becomes convenient that they should. Like when you file a sexual harassment/discrimination suit.

Hefner simply discovered the metaphorical equivalent to an Arms Control regime in the War of the Sexes: You may have a pussy, Sunshine, but it's always been for sale. It's just that some come with a lower price tag.

And before I get nasty e-mail: yes, Pussy has always been for sale. The only differences between prostitution and marriage are a license, a bunch of legal/social protections/obligations, and the fact that The Man has made a choice to forsake all other vaginas because he likes your's best. And the Scarlet Woman doesn't get to have a judge dispose of your house and property and hand half the proceeds over to her, just because you left the toilet seat up. This is not just me being a sarcastic dipshit, either: it's biology at work. Don't think so? Read The Naked Ape and The Human Zoo. Those books are far more informative and a better investment of your time than that Jacqueline Suzanne or Jodi Piccault shit you all seem to read these days, and it won't give you a migraine and make you all menstrual, like Oprah does.

They're also an excellent How-To guide on picking up chicks. But, I digress...

As for the Bunnies: I have no sympathy whatsoever for any of them. Choices -- especially bad ones -- always have consequences. You break it, you bought it, as Colin Powell used to say before he became a moral coward.

Remember Ladies: if you wish to be valued and respected, then value and respect yourself, first. Then assholes like Me and Hef will be forced to treat you accordingly, and then you won't have to complain about being obligated to blow a rapidly-aging adolescent on a tight schedule.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Civilization: Now One Reality Show Closer To Total Oblivion...

It just had to come to this, didn't it? You just knew that after a slew of 'reality' shows about women with no intelligence, class, or discernible redeeming qualities and possessed of monumental piles of undeserved-and-mostly-earned/stolen-by-their-ex-husbands disposable income, it was only a short hop-skip-and-a-stiletto-heeled-and-silicone-enhanced-jump to a show about clueless broads with a financed-by-organized-crime lifestyle.

This is now entertainment; watching scifoozas romp in a wasteland of mindless conspicuous consumption bankrolled by murdering thugs.

We already get enough bad press in these parts, thank you, because of shows like Jersey Shore, and because our so-called political leadership has the same relative level of intelligence as your garden-variety Chihuahua. If it wasn't bad enough to be a Staten Islander, and an Italian, and have to be thought of by the general population as a guinea-tee-wearing-wife-beating-ignoramus because of association and shared background, this pretty much puts the proverbial nail in the proverbial coffin and seals the deal.

It's embarrassing. It's difficult to see how this class of person (and I'm being generous with my use of the terms 'class' and 'person' here) can be recognized as the descendants of Columbus, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Malphiggi, Augustus, Cicero and Marconi. It certainly makes the notion of Italian-Americans as decent, hard-working people who have no connection whatsoever to organized crime, difficult to defend.

The worst part: three of these broads are women you wouldn't screw with a stolen penis. At least two of them look as if they bought their last pair of shoes from a blacksmith. They answer the age-old question: why do mobsters have Goomahs (mistresses)? Probably because they get married to misshapen lumps of stupidity just for the lasagna and clean underwear.

You can practically smell the silicone, acrylic fingernails, and sausage and peppers from here.

Civilization just inched closer to total collapse the second some television producer decided this was something that America was just clamoring to see.

I'm A State Assemblyman...and An Idiot, Part II...

New York State Assembly announces legislation to formally name a State Vegetable.

Personally, I'd cast my vote for "Charles Schumer".

You'd think these people would have had better things to do with our time and money (like figuring out how to save both?) ,and apparently, you'd be dead wrong. I guess there's no pressing needs up in Albany that might require the attention of our part-time-but-paid-full-time Assembly. Not like there's a $9 billion budget deficit to deal with. Not like our Schools aren't filled with mouth-breathing dunces, both students (inmates) and teachers. Not like business is fleeing the State. Not like we spend more on Welfare programs than we do roads, bridges, and infrastructure projects that might cause one to wonder whether government's priorities are in accord with reality.

Nope. None of that is actually happening, you see. That's all just an invention of FoxNews and Rush Limbaugh. Our state government has more important issues to tackle, like whether we like onions or corn better (and the answer to that question probably depends on which lobby paid more for this dubious distinction).

Last week, it was an Official Scent, this week, an Official Vegetable.

I wonder sometimes whether this planet isn't simply the loony bin for some extraterrestrial race, and this State the Rubber Room.

How To Tell if Your Next-Door Neighbor is a Bomb-Maker...

Please note that while it's implied throughout the article, the words "Your Neighbor is Muslim" never actually appear on the list.

I should have thought that would be the first item.

Eating Cake or Crow?

"Let them eat cake..." becomes "Go buy a new, fuel-efficient vehicle -- that you probably can't afford because of the difficulties in securing credit -- to replace the old, less-efficient vehicle that you can't afford because of your looming unemployment, rising taxes and artificially-inflated currency, all thanks to my Enlightened Economic Policies, you Peasant!"

Oh, and have fewer children, you Horndog! It's becoming clearer with each passing day what Barack the First wants Americans to do -- i.e. suffer in silence while he goes on vacation and makes plans to spend money that doesn't exist even in someone's dreams --and then thank him for it. Or at least have the good grace not to be a whiny bitch. After all, Barack Obama wasn't elected to fill your gas tank, Asshole; he was elected to ensure that the destructive elements of American society could be fully-funded before the money ran out.

That means that you, the Citizen, have to be stripped of your wealth, choices and freedoms, and have no right to question me on anything, and if you don't like it, too bad; I'm off to Hawaii -- again -- on your dime, Sucker, and there isn't anything you can do about it for another year, at least.

Obama had better get himself a food-taster, because every time he opens his mouth and puts his complete lack of economic acumen on display -- not to mention his total lack of empathy -- he's one step closer to getting himself killed (and no, we don't advocate that here at the Asylum), much like Louis XVI.

The Emperor hath spoken about higher gas prices.

Marie Antoinette, it must be noted, never said what she's been accused of. Instead, it's probably the invention of the pro-revolutionary media of the day, much like Obama's electoral victory in the Fall of 2008 was likewise mostly manufactured by today's pro-revolutionary media.

Unlike Marie Antoinette, though, Obama will not lose his head to a rampaging mob, and if he did, the only consequences would be yet another national holiday paying homage to another lackluster non-entity or long-out-of-fashion ideal added to the calendar, so maybe that's not such a bad idea, until you realize that would mean President Joe Biden.

Really, can you remember anyone in the same position being that out-of-touch with reality, or that arrogant with no record to be arrogant about? That dismissive of the concerns of the people he's supposed to be governing? That determined to do something 'great' in the eyes of History that it blinds him to the needs and circumstances of The Present, no matter how many it kills?

Nero? Mussolini? Napoleon? Your guess is as good as mine. How about we make a competition out of it?

Send me your suggestions for the most Out-of-touch, Arrogant and Pig-Headed 'Leaders' in World History. The Winner -- the person who chooses the Historical Figure which most accurately portrays Emperor Barry I --  will get an all-expenses-paid trip to his/her local Applebee's or TGIF -- so long as those expenses don't include actually paying for the meal  -- in other words, you're getting bus fare, since Obama is making certain that you can't afford to both drive and eat in the same day.


Iowahawk: Better Than Sex, Ice Cream, and the Stanley Cup Playoffs...

...all rolled into one, and He can only be surpassed by those rare circumstances wherein one has contrived to have all three at once.

Lindsay Graham (Douche-SC) is an asshat.

This has been true and obvious to anyone with the same sense possessed by a crack-addled Rhesus Monkey for many years now. Much like his counterpart, the Insufferable Charles Schumer (Sphincter - NY), it is a complete mystery as to how such men manage to continually garner electoral laurels despite any display of rudimentary thinking skills...until you stop to consider just what actually LIVES in South Carolina (hint: Darwin may have been wrong. I've seen it close-up and personal-like).

One must come to the inevitable conclusion that South Carolina, much like New York, is simply infested with nosepicking retards who have somehow managed to retain the right to vote. Time to re-institute the old Poll Tax, and add some Basic Literacy testing and a photo-id requirement as a requisite to exercising the franchise, if you ask me. It's the only way to ensure that parasites possessed of the same sort of bulletproof and paralyzing stupidity, of the kind displayed by Graham and Schumer, are reduced to earning a living in ways which befit  both their limited acumen and dubious skill sets: selling boiled goobers by the side of the Interstate, or maybe, as the Albino Banjo Player in the national dinner-theatre touring troupe of The Deliverance.

I have less use for Lindasay Graham than a dog has for his fleas.