Friday, May 20, 2011

Tomorrow, 50,000 People Are Gonna Beat The Piss Out of Him...

Staten Island Douchebag who predicted End of the World on May 21st calmly awaits his Mother Ship.

Notice that with less than 24-hours left until Armageddon, Dickhead still found time to give a newspaper interview. You would think a guy about to move into the Pearly-Gated Community would have better things to do.

What's stranger? This dispshit went to the same High School that I did.

Tomorrow, when we're all still here, expect to hear the following explanation as to why God didn't pull the plug when The Signs were all pointing to it:

We must have misinterpreted the prophecy. You know, the ways of God are mysterious and we mortals simply cannot fathom his ways. Perhaps The Almighty meant for this to be a dry-run, a drill, if you will, a warning to us all that we should repent before it's too late. If I brought just one person to repent and closer to God with my little misunderstanding, then it was worth it -- the media attention, the panic, the unwarranted trepidation and feelings of impending doom, the fear-mongering and needless anxiety, the seventy or eighty suicides which will soon be linked to my prediction -- and justified in the Eyes of God.

I'm betting one of the following things happens after this 'prediction' turns out to be false:

1. Mr. Fitzpatrick goes back to being the same crazy dickhead who will take the word of a radio televangelist on all matters Armageddon. The fact that the prediction turned out to be false having absolutely no effect, being unable to penetrate both his thick skull and the thick layer of batshit-insane just below it. His 'Street Cred' gets raised amongst the Rapture-and-God-Hates-Fags Crowd, and he gets fantastically rich -- flogging his books -- because if there's anything a good Evangelical Nutjob wants to do more than suck God's cock, it's give gobs of money away to people who bullshit them and excuse it with an assertion that "I did it for Jesus..."

2. Mr. Fitzpatrick loses his faith and realizes that he's pissed $140k away. He seeks out the 'Reverend' Camping and beats his fucking brains out with a baseball bat. Publicly humiliated and ridiculed, he will find himself a nice quiet place to lay down and drop half a bottle of Percocets before wrapping a Hefty bag around his head, securing it firmly with a roll of duct tape. Just in case he manages to fuck that up, too, he intends to stock the quiet place with about 50 gallons of unleaded regular and light a stogie with a blowtorch before he finally nods off.

I'll see you all at 6 pm, tomorrow, assuming the earthquake, the rain of fire, the exploding gays and all the Angels trumpeting conspire to keep me from my 'puter

Douchebag of the Week (5/20/11): Lindsay Graham...

We haven't handed out a Douchebag of the Week Award here at the Asylum for quite some time. Probably because it's jut been way too difficult to pick a winner, what with the competition being such a close-run thing in the last few months. Douchebags abound, and picking the worst of the worst is sort of like diving into a pile of rotten apples thrown into an open sewer, looking for the most egregious example of what not to eat.

But,like most things in life, if you wait long enough, someone eventually emerges from the pile, shakes the slimy, wet dung off, and demands a rousing round of applause.

This week, it's Senator Lindsay Graham (Douchebag - South Carolina) with a complaint about Fox News concerning 'comprehensive immigration reform', or as we like to call it around here "giving life-sucking parasites a free ride for political purposes."

Poor Senator Graham. It's not our fault if his plan to give something sacred, citizenship, to a mess of people who invaded our country hasn't been received with the thundering applause he expected. It's not our fault that we have been blinded by misinformation so that we cannot see the inherent brilliance in his Master Stroke ('Stroke' being the operative word) to destroy what remains of the Right. We've been led astray by Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, because like democrats, Mr.Graham seems to think the average citizen is dumber than a bread mold, and wouldn't know enough not to stick their tongues into an electrical outlet if it weren't for some doofus on television telling them not to.

He defends his stupidity with some mealy-mouthed appeal to 'bi-partisan support', as if this was as essential to American Citizens as air and water. Usually, bi-partisanship means each party gets to take a turn at slipping us all the Great Purple Shaft.

There can be no 'bi-partisanship' on the issue of illegal immigration, not when that term, far from it's original meaning, has been warped in Washington until it means either 'a new horde of poor, uneducated, disease-carrying vermin who will be wards of the state, and thus, vote solidly democrat', or 'a horde of poor, uneducated, disease-carrying vermin who will provide cheap-and-easy-to-exploit-labor for the restaurant, hotel, landscaping and construction industries'.

And it certainly isn't a good thing when the American Taxpayer is, as He and She have all along, expected to continue to bear the costs and burdens,and when the end result will be to encourage even more people to enter the country illegally. At which point,the process begins anew,and we'll need an even more complicated,more expensive 'comprehensive immigration reform plan'.

Both sides are full of crap on the issue of immigration reform, and they know it. Worse for them; we know it.

Lindsay Graham, himself, is a rather odd duck. He calls himself a republican, on occasion he might intimate that he's a 'conservative', but he's really neither. I'm not certain just what, exactly, he is, but if we had to start a list of what the Senator might be, I'd start it with 'opportunist' and probably end with 'retard'. Lindsay Graham's first priority is always Lindsay Graham, and if the issue of Immigration Reform matters to Lindsay Graham, you have to believe that it's probably a bad idea for the rest of us.

His objection is to the use of the word amnesty. He prefers the euphemism 'path to citizenship'. I fail to see the distinction, except in this way: 'Amnesty' is pretty much an admission by government that it cannot, and will not, do what it should have been doing in the first place: which is enforcing it's own laws. Having looked the other way in something like 12-15 million cases, the job is just too difficult to tackle after the fact, so our 'pragmatic', 'enlightened' Senators will just opt for the easiest option: surrender. 

While Graham surrenders to avoid doing his job, and forcing the government to do it's job, millions of people who will pay no income taxes (like citizens do) will be eating up public services and tax money like termites feasting on a redwood forest. These days a Graham-style 'republican' complains often and loudly that the costs of government are too great a burden for the taxpayer to bear. In the meantime, millions of laborers will undercut the wages of American citizens and make it difficult for them to find even entry-level employment in an age of double-digit unemployment, and the tax base shrinks. In the meantime, millions of unassimilated (and they're encouraged to stay that way by government) people are milling about clogging up the court system, filling the prisons, overwhelming the emergency rooms, diverting billions in educational funds, and destroying the quality of life for millions of American citizens.

Citizens, incidentally, who also have to suffer the indignity of having to pay for the piece-by-piece destruction of their culture and society.

If we applied Senator Graham's logic in a variety of ways,we Citizens could, conceivably, thumb our nose at the Government until it just gives up.

So why not have 12-15 million Americans just refuse to pay income taxes next year? If the government is going to be selective about which laws it sees fit to enforce,why not start with this one and see if we can get them to just quit?

If 12-15 million Americans should just decide it's a good idea to march on Washington and burn down the Capitol if they don't get their way on a particular issue, Senator Graham, by his own suggestion, should just skedaddle and then advocate that no one be punished for it.


Wanna bet? Lindsay Graham is a whining pussy: he'd be the first to cry about the loss of civility and decency, and openly wonder -- What Happened to America?


If 12-15 million dog owners should just decide that they simply won't clean up after their pets because it's inconvenient for them to do so, by the Senator's own reasoning they should be pardoned, no questions asked, because prosecuting them will be too great a task, even if it meant that communicable disease from all that uncollected dog crap would constitute a serious public health risk.

If we all did what Senator Graham is suggesting -- forgive criminals or simply ignore their crimes, and not even try to punish them, let people do whatever the fuck they feel like when they feel like it regardless of what it costs others, or simply abrogate our responsibilities as citizens and legislators because to do the opposite is simply too difficult -- then he surely couldn't complain about the perfectly abysmal quality of life that follows, could he?

But back to the subject of 'bipartisan' anything, a term which Graham throws around as if it was the greatest idea since fire; people don't want 'bipartisanship' if that means that both political parties are able to craft a policy or law in such a way as to suit their needs, and relieves them of the responsibility to do the right thing. And anything in which Graham is in cahoots with Charles Schumer is definitely something that will screw the Public. You could hardly find a better amalgam of Dumb-Ass and Evil-Douchebag than in that pair.One only need look at the recent 'bipartisan' success stories of Washington, D.C. -- the repeal of the Glass-Steagel Act, Campaign Finance Reform, Sarbanes-Oxley, TARP, The Patriot Act -- to see that whenever there's 'bipartisan support' for anything, it's typically bad news for John Q.Public, who's rights and liberties are eroded, his pocket picked, his quality of life destroyed, and his ability to petition his government for redress of grievance practically erased.

So far as I'm concerned, any politician who asks for 'bipartisanship' should be taken out and flogged, publicly. There's Right, there's Wrong, and then there's bi-partisan, which is a catch-all for "grab your ankles, Folks!"

The only 'bipartisan' support required on the subject of Immigration should be "the law and current policy, as they exist, needs to be enforced -- with vigor and fairness -- before anyone starts talking about changing it".

Then again, it's difficult to talk about reforming immigration policy when the American government doesn't seem to have a coherent one:

If you're Cuban and can manage to cross the 90-miles of open ocean on an innertube or leaky oil drum, you're granted 'political asylum'.

If you're Haitian and can manage to make the passage, you're going to be sent back.


If you're Chinese and claim that that China's One-Child Policy violates your Human Rights either through forced abortion or sterilization, you're in. Unless, of course, you're a scientist or a computer engineer, in which case,we'll grant you a visa -- like yesterday -- and even help you find a job in a Fortune 500 Company, or within the U.S. Government, itself.

If you're Mexican, and crossed the border to give birth in an American Emergency Room, you're Golden, although technically you're not supposed to be, supposing you stay under the radar.

If you're a Middle Eastern Christian who's being persecuted by your Islamic neighbors or government, we demand meticulous attention be paid to the technicalities of the law.

If you're an Islamic 'student' who overstays your visa, we don't bother to look for you...until you try to build a car bomb, or go to Pakistan for Al'Qaeda training.

I'm not against Immigration, for I am the descendant of Immigrants myself. When my forebears came here from Italy and Sicily at the turn of the last century, they were taken to Ellis Island, quarantined, had their personal information recorded, in some cases had their names changed by the WASPS who couldn't understand the distinction between an 'o' and an 'i'. They were often forced to wait months before being allowed to enter the slums of Brooklyn, in many cases with no money, no prospects for a job, no place to live, and into a society which demanded they conform to American culture, speak English, and keep their filthy peasant habits to themselves. All the while, they were discriminated against for their Catholic faith and endured the open denigration of their native culture as something unworthy, despite the fact that the English Bluebloods who 'owned' America had hearkened back to that very culture when designing it's government and writing it's Constitution.

The same thing happened to the Irish, the Swedes, the Germans, the Jews, and all the rest. Blacks were dragged here in chains. And there were no 'advocacy groups' to help them, there were no charities to support them or their cause, and there was nary a Senator or Congressman who spouted complete bullshit about 'bipartisan' anything on their behalf. They were expected to work, pay their taxes, obey the law, and conform.

Why should Mexicans be exempt from the same principles? Because there's just too many of them for the government to retroactively do what should have been done before they embedded themselves within society and the welfare system?

The only immigration reform we need is armed Marines with vicious dogs and instructions to give two warnings in English and Spanish, and then to open fire if they're not obeyed.

Another thing on this whole republican fascination with amnesty-disguised-as-reform; the GOP believes that by accommodating Hispanic immigrants and forgiving their criminal violation of Sovereignty and then their continued, illegal existence with the Borders of the United States, that it's buying itself a Hispanic Voting Majority on the poorly-thought-out belief that Hispanic anti-abortion views align them, naturally, with the GOP. This is patently false. While a great many Hispanics DO oppose abortion, the Hispanic's natural inclination is geared towards the Welfare State. They may be religiously conservative and family-oriented, by they too, have drunk deeply from the well of Social Justice.

'Courting the Hispanic vote' in this case means playing to the infantile pathology of another group who believes they are 'owed' something by the Gringo. If you doubt this, go read the La Raza website, or take note of the rancor in Arizona over school curriculum's which teach students that the United States 'stole' the southwest from Mexico. Come here to New York and count all the Immigrants with North Carolina license plates on their cars (they commute between states for seasonal work, keeping New York as a permanent address for the generous welfare benefits), who seem to show up in the supermarket with thousands in food stamps, demand bi-lingual education all the way up to High School, write their separatist and drug-gang-related graffiti upon every vertical surface, and then fill the streets with their spit, urine, feces, drunks, and unruly vandals...erm...children... who can't speak English.

Come see all the Mexican Flags on display on the Fourth of July, come see the vast numbers of tubercular incubators coughing, spitting, sneezing and infecting us all on public transport. Come see the crack vials, dirty needles, and broken beer bottles all over what used to be a pristine neighborhood. Come see the line of it-might-be-Spanish-speaking addicts lining up at the local methadone clinics that have sprung up in the last five years in eerie coincidence with the influx of Hispanics. Come to New York, Mr. Graham, and see the effect the policies you advocate actually have on the Average American. Come and see if you can figure out if the exploding number of Black-on-Hispanic 'Hate Crimes' in this area have anything to do with excusing a Third World Invasion.

Senator Graham attributes opposition to his stupid ideas as a 'manipulation of the 24-hour news cycle', or 'constant media scrutiny' -- you get the distinct impression that he'd like to call someone,anyone, a racist in all that beating-around-several-bushes doubletalk of his, but he doesn't have the courage -- but he's seriously wrong. The opposition to his asinine idea is based upon simple Common Sense, a quality which Lindsay Graham has proven, repeatedly, to have a severe and persistent allergy to.

Lindsay Graham is but one example of what's wrong with the GOP these days. It's brighter lights are consistently undermined by squishy, self-interested little toads like Him...and John McCain, his comrade-in-stupidity.

For being such a big baby, for being such a toadie to the Immigration Reform Lobby (i.e.Businesses who can't remain in business and stay profitable without breaking the law and then being protected from punishment), for being willing and eager to give amnesty -- and I don't care what you call it, it's still amnesty -- to millions of unwashed criminals, for wanting to excuse the obnoxious and presumptuous behavior of millions who can't, won't, and have no reason to assimilate, and who believe they have a God-Given Right to get fat on the Taxpayer Teat, who remain in America, but are not OF America. For his failure to recognize that a significant portion of the bloated federal budget is simply being wasted catering to the needs of non-taxpaying criminals, and for being an all-around clueless dipshit, you Senator Graham, are our Douchebag of the Week.

I'm sure you'll wear it well, and proudly, too. It might be the last thing you ever win, including re-election, if you continue to advocate on behalf of such destructive policies. I hope the bribe from the Hotel Industry in Myrtle Beach and The Outer Banks can cover your expenses until your McDonald's job comes through.

The sooner The Good Senator -- and the politicians like him -- get thrown out of office, the sooner this country can go back to what it once was.

Professor Hanson on Wrapping That Rascal...

Safe Sex and Taxes Are For the Little People.

I always go to The Perfesser for my Sexually-Deviant-and-Morally-Reprehensible posting needs. But he has a point, or three, here.

He usually does. He might be the smartest Man in America.

Good Lord, Make it Stop!

Just what we all needed: a John Edwards Sex Tape.

Don't politicians nowadays know about YouTube? The proliferation of recording devices? The predatory nature of the Press?

It's almost as if they want to be caught. Whether it's Ah-nuld, Johnny-the-Breck-Girl, the Clintoid, or French Communist Doofuses who believe 'Solidarity with the Masses' means attacking the Chambermaid with an elephantine boner.

I'm not going to go into the pathology which makes some men especially prone to fall into this trap. Let's just say that at it's basest level, it's a combination of ego, stupidity and poor impulse control. What really gets me about these guys,though, is that they never seem to find an attractive Sperm Receptacle.

Ah-nuld's mistress is even less attractive than his Maria Shriver.

I  once saw Monica Lewinsky on the streets of Manhattan and I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick. Hell, I'd think twice about even letting her blow me, and might seriously consider charging her for the privilege.

Not that Elizabeth Edwards was going to win any beauty contests (the woman was an absolute, ladder-climbing shrew, disregarding the beatification that took place in the press and liberal circles --sorry, that's redundant -- on the occasion of her death), but Rielle Hunter's no prize, either. You might, if it was close to closing time -- and you were drunk enough -- enlist her aid for a Knee-Knocker in a doorway someplace, but to keep her around as your On-Call Concubine? Unthinkable.

And what's with the video camera? What possesses a man to do the Horizontal Mambo with a chick and then record it for posterity? Especially when you're running for the Highest Office in the land, and susceptible to blackmail, or electoral disaster, should that stuff ever become public? How do you  have the balls to stand before the American Public and, maybe, say that you will Stand Up To Ahmadinijad, or Al'Qeda, when there's a tape of you floating around in which you're performing the act of cunnilingus (allegedly)?

And, naturally, it's somehow HER fault the damned thing exists in the first place. What an Asshole.

Then again, the current generation of American Political Leadership (three lies for the price of one) is perhaps the poorest crop...ever. They unfailingly display a lack of discipline, notoriously-poor judgement, a curiously-detached view of the world, a clueless unconnectedness with the Public and their views and ideals, and in the case of whom they choose to stick it to when no one's watching (they think) extremely poor taste in bunkmates. They posses these dubious qualities almost to a man.

In the case of Edwards, we dodged a bullet. I had once thought it impossible to have found a worse candidate for the Office of The President than Edwards, until Barack Obama came along, but I get the distinct impression that Obama, at least, can keep it in his pants (although, I have the sinking feeling that one day I'm sure to have been proven wrong on this).But then again, Barry is probably deathly afraid of Michelle and wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't you be?

The mistake these men all make, other than the decision to engage in adulterous affairs, is simply to hop on the first vagina that makes itself available. Expediency takes precedence over propriety, discretion, and even quality. Busy Men simply have no time to vet their concubines properly. Busy Men with giant egos and a sense of entitlement, hardly bother to make the effort at all. This is one of those instances where discretion is the better part of valor, but if you're going to do it anyway, at least kick the tires, first.

I was finally convinced that the Bad Dream that was John Edwards had, mercifully, gone away. Unfortunately, I discounted the ability of the (below-) average American Politician to be that indiscreet, and that arrogant as to believe that no one will ever find out about what complete scumbags most of them are. But now, Edwards has gone and done the impossible, and lowered my already-low opinion of politicians.

It's bad enough to be an adulterer; it's far worse to be one who leaves evidence of his adultery behind. That tells me you either want to be caught, or simply don't give a shit if you are. I can't decide which quality would have been potentially more dangerous in a President of the United States.

'Jimmy Carter' Might Be a Best-Case Scenario...

At least we managed to survive Carter's stupidity and lack of ability. With every passing day, Barack Obama makes Jimmy Carter look more and more like a latter-day Pericles, Cicero, William Penn, and Daniel Patrick Moynihan, all rolled up into one.


Obama interrupts 'Osama Bin Laden is Dead" Tour to remind us...that Osama Bin Laden is Dead. And then has nothing else to say.

Every time I point this out, I get accused of being a racist. I'm almost geting to the point where that's becoming a compliment.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What Newt Meant to Say...

...I think, was that Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to 'save' Medicare basically amounts to cutting out the Middleman without tackling the question of whether it is the proper role of government to provide medical insurance to it's citizens at all.

Medicare is Socialism. This cannot be gainsaid; any attempt to paint it otherwise, to obscure this truth, is cynical and ultimately futile. The government had no business handing out health insurance, just as it had no business in creating a Ponzi-scheme disguised as a retirement plan.

If I understand Rep. Ryan's plan, it will basically 'give' vouchers to seniors so that they may buy insurance on the open market. In the process, the Medicare bureaucracy that sprang up to administer the program would slowly fade away as the "Free Market" (we don't have free markets in this country), through the magic of competition set up a regime of superior care at lower cost, and relieved the Federal Government of the responsibility of having to administer the program itself.

When that happens, you could fire all those useless bureaucrats who are collecting bloated salaries and expecting even more gargantuan retirement benefits, thus 'saving' The System, and relieving the taxpayer of an onerous burden.

The 'reform' would, basically, keep Medicare in place; it would only change the way in which your dose of socialism gets delivered. Your choice: you can take it through a 'voucher' or keep the old anally-injected delivery system. The end result is still the same.

If Medicare is socialism, brought into being by the spirit of Great Society Social Engineering, then, naturally, any reform that keeps the basic premise underlying it alive is still 'social engineering'.

Ryan's plan only makes sense if it is an interim step towards eventually eliminating government interference in the health care market. Otherwise, it's simply a welfare pig in a new shade of lipstick. If the ultimate goal is not to eliminate Medicare altogether, then one has to assume that Ryan's reforms are simply a way in which to make the same old social welfare payments to the same old people, only in a way that conservatives who don't think too deeply (this is a large number, btw) just won't recognize as welfare.

Welfare is bad because it's expensive for the taxpayer to provide it, and it comes with a laundry list of rules, regulations, and other government 'interference' with the rights of the individual. The government enacts these rules and regulations in order to influence certain behavior, and many of the behaviors government is encouraging are often morally questionable and an assault upon Constitutional Rights...

...unless a conservative gets to make the rules and regulations and encourage the behaviors they want to encourage, and then it becomes a 'reform of a badly-flawed and bankrupt system'. Newt is essentially correct in his assertion that Ryan's Plan, at first blush, is right-wing social engineering, just as much as the current system is the result of left-wing social engineering.

The solution is to have no government-run medical insurance scheme whatsoever. However, this would deprive politicians and bureaucrats of either political stripe the ability to interfere with your life in ever-more esoteric and subtle ways.


I really believe that Rep. Ryan wants to cut 6 trillion bucks out of the National Debt and realizes that the process is going to be painful for some, and certainly cause tremendous uproar in these United States, and so he thinks to cushion the blows through gradualism. 'Privatization', though, is a conservative buzzword for keeping the basic structure of entitlements -- i.e. handing out tax payer money, mostly to people who don't pay much in taxes -- while making sure the money ultimately finds it's way to Big Business through the magic of the 'Free Market'. It doesn't matter if you call it a 'voucher system' or a 'government check', it's still the same thing; a direct subsidy to the insurance industry, only under Ryan's plan, it passses through fewer hands.

It's still welfare, though. A True Free Market solution would be to let people have to fend for themselves, and those who can't or won't, will simply have to suffer the consequences of their laziness and short-sightedness. But then Rachel Maddow calls you nasty names on (P)MSNBC,and you have to contnue to defend and explain yourself, and the whole thing gets rather tiring and annoying. Better to go the incrementalist route, and just rebrand the whole thing.

It's not the conservative's (small 'c' intentional) job to 'reform' fundamentally-flawed programs so that they merely cost less; it's to eliminate fundamentally-flawed programs that cost too much, run contrary to American Constitutional principles and which infringe upon the Individual's Rights. Any system which eliminates the aspect of Moral Hazard or repsonsibility on the part of the recipient is also bad juju.

Now that sort of reform  -- blowing the thing up entirely, and putting the responsibility for your own welfare back onto the individual -- would be a true conservative solution to many of the problems we face today, but since there are no more true conservatives (and the ones who usually claim that mantle are more concerned with the Afterlife than they are with this one, so they don't really count), don't expect to ever see it happen.

Newt's real sin in this case was not so much to criticize Ryan for not going far enough, it was to provide the Other Side with a soundbite that's going to be pinned to every GOP-wannabe between now and 2012. And that douche who confronted Newt over his comment in Iowa is exactly the sort of 'conservative' I'd like to see tarred and feathered; he's worried about tactics at the expense of grand strategy, and how it plays in the Press.

Propaganda, it seems, still takes precedence over prudence in American Politics, unfortunately.

And that's really troubling, because Newt's supposed to be the smartest guy in the room, and he should have known this when he made the comment.

Even if you gave the democrats (small 'd' intentional) the opportunity to say "Even Newt Gingrich is against this..." it doesn't change the crux of the issue, which is:

How can you justify the contiunued existance of an unconstitutional, super-expensive, super-intrusive, flawed, destructive, out-of-control, politically-manipulated Entitlement Program which has cost far more than was ever envisioned, provides fewer services, and is rife with fraud, waste and abuse, in a day-and-age of $14 trillion dollar National Debts, high rates of unemployment and shrinking tax bases?

The only response available to democrats on this question is a simple appeal to emotion and class warfare, their stocks-in-trade. Any conservative worth his salt should easily be able to defeat emotion and class-warfare with reason, logic and The Constitution. If you, as a conservative, are worried that Newt's response gave the dems 'ammunition', you're worried about people armed with water pistols and slingshots, while we have Stealth Bombers and Atomic Bombs.

You have to utter but one sentence to kill any democratic objection that Ryan's Plan, or any other reform of Entitlements, are 'cruel', 'mean', or 'will throw Grandma out into the street":

"Keeping the system as-is requires huge tax increases, and more power vested in Washington. That formula has worked so well up to now, hasn't it?"

'Nuff said.


Update: Corrected a minor spelling error. Apologies!

Poetic Justice?

French Commie Rapist (sorry, that's redundant) may have contracted AIDS from his victim.

I was really hoping to not have to post anything on this case because, well, Dominique Strauss-Khan is a fucking Frog and everyone knows that Frogs are opportunistic little douchebags with a penchant for disgusting and deviant behavior, all the while brandishing the club of their 'superior' culture that hasn't achieved a damned thing that one could proudly brag about (except for maybe a burqa ban, and the invention of the pre-printed surrender form addressed 'To Whom it May Concern...") for the last 100 years.

It's hardly worth the effort to refer to the French at all.

I hope he does get AIDS. I hope he gets full-blown, monkeys-flying-out-of-his-ass, radioactive, scabs-on-top-of-other-scabs, dripping-like-a-Good-Humor-Bar-in-August, excructiating-pains-and-constant-simultaneous-vomiting-and-explosive-diarrhea-type AIDS, and that it progresses at light-speed so that it's terminal phase begins while he's still in a cell at Rikers. I hope they let him loose to be ass-raped by all the other criminals in there, so that they'll all die exceptionally quickly and horribly -- which is what criminals should do -- and save us hundreds of millions of dollars because we won't have to house, feed, or provide medical care and legal services to these parasites.

The courts would suddenly become unclogged.

The Parole Boards would suddenly have nothing to do.

Half the psychiatrists in the state would be immediately unemployed, and have to flip burgers for a living.

The crime rate would plummet as people were given a graphic example of just why you don't want to go to prison -- so fucking behave yourself.

Prisons would shut down for lack of inmates.

I understand the titllation factor involved but let's get this straight: most European Men are half-rapists to begin with, it's just that European Women are so notoriously easy and fatalistic about the whole thing. What passes for rape in America is simply foreplay in France. Just ask Julian Assange. It's even worse in Italy.

Some will be shocked and dismayed by apparent lack of restraint. Ask me if I care.


Still, the whole thing gives you some small hope that there is some cosmic justice after all, doesn't it?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

You're Not Special; You're Just Crazy...

Andrea Peyser in the New York Post on Self-mutilation as the ultimate attention getter.

You know you're in trouble when the GLAAD people, in so many backhanded-and-catty words, call you 'fat' and 'insane'.

I don't know Chaz Bono, and don't really care to, so I'm going to make some generalized observations about his/her case. I'm also not a psychiatrist -- I only play one on the Internet, and psychiatry is mostly bullshit, anyway -- so the only way to try to explain this is by applying logic, which already puts me on shaky ground before I even begin.

1. Chaz Bono grew up with famous parents, who were Hippies, and so they were certain to have raised HeShe with some rather strange ideas, most of which probably involved indulging any stupidity Chaz wanted or got involved with. This, you know, builds 'self-esteem', which was all the rage with parents of the time (it was a codeword for 'whatever the kid wants, the kid gets, if it means I'm 'a cool Mom/Dad' -- and keeps the little bastard out of my hair) and which, as a concept, has expanded to become a fucking pox upon Modern Society. We're knee deep in everyones Self-Esteem, but it never seems to occur to anyone who cries about not having any that it's usually earned through achievement, and not granted as a right because you sat through the 30 minute 3rd-grade-level-lecture-and-certificate-ritual at a public school.

Having famous parents, I would imagine, is no picnic. Everyone wants their attention and caters to them, so I wonder if at some point, Chaz felt less like a child, or even a human being, and more like an accessory.

2. Over-indulged children who have retarded/disinterested parents who 'encourage' them to pursue rank stupidity for fear of criticizing or disciplining the little buggers (and thus crushing their fragile self-esteem) become spoiled adults who expect to receive similar treatment from everyone they meet in their adult lives. Because the parents didn't set any boundaries, didn't cater to the child's feelings, and imposed no values upon their little genetic mess, the little bastard soon


a. figures out that it can do whatever the fuck it pleases, and

b. quickly becomes bored with the usual litany of childhood stupidity, and thus, must seek ever more exotic and complicated stupidity as it grows older. The more dramatic and complicated the stupidity, the greater the attraction.

3. Over-indulged children, bereft of values, boundaries, and interested/attentive  parents, soon find their way into trouble as a means of getting attention. Often negative attention, because the worse the activity the greater the response from the uninvolved parents. It's all about provoking a response...any response. At heart, all people who fall into this category of insanity are always seeking both the approval and the guidance of, or more accurately a rescue effort by, Mommy and Daddy Dearest.

4. The mollycoddled-yet-still-clamoring-for-parental-attention child soon runs the gamut of anti-social behavior in it's teenaged years, usually starting with smoking, and then progressing to promiscuity, defiance, rebellion, casual use of foul language, a Gothic/Punk stage, body-piercings, perhaps vandalism and petty crime, tattoos, drug and alcohol abuse, and perhaps even several (unserious) suicide attempts, and usually a mixture of All of the Above.. When this fails to bring the attention they truly crave (which is for their parents to start acting like fucking parents and provide some guidance), the activity must become ever more severe, and an even-greater rejection of traditional values which is intended to shock the sensibilities; homosexuality, sexual fetishes, cross-dressing, perhaps a string of abusive relationships (either as bully or victim), and finally, the ultimate shocker: Surgically-aided Self-mutilation with that added bonus of the rejection/warping of traditional gender norms.

Chaz Bono is simply someone who has been crying out for her parents HisHer entire life, probably, and never got the response HeShe desperately craved, and maybe never ever gave voice to. After all, she was most likely handed everything in life, and expected her parents to mystically divine what was in her head; it's how this Game Gets Played, you know. Had Chaz ever come right out and say what HeShe had wanted, and expected, from It's parents, it would have either stopped the gravy-train of over-indulgence dead in it's tracks, or it would have fallen upon deaf ears. HeShe has now entered the Penultimate phase in the attempt to get some attention. Even negative attention. The very last step is a massive overdose and/or a nosedive out a 50th floor window, with a shotgun wound to the head, just for good measure.

And then the Media, because it too, is a collection of mentally-deranged morons, will lead the Nation in the obligatory contrived orgy of manufactured and insincere grief for what amounts to a non-entity who's never accomplished a thing in HisHer life. Three days later, because the public's attention span is shorter than a dwarf at a urinal, we will forget the entire thing. Why does anyone really care, when even HisHer parents didn't, after all? Besides, the new season of Jersey Shore begins tonight.

Until Cher -- predictably -- uses the tragedy to re-launch her career, of course.

I don't pity Chaz Bono and I don't find HimHer even slightly interesting in the least. I regard this sick lump of humanity in the same way one might regard an enema; an unpleasant experience you hope ends rather quickly, with as little stench left behind as possible. I'd rather watch my fingernails grow, or count the blades of grass on my front lawn than to watch It on television. I'm not fascinated by Chaz's orgy of extreme Look-at-Me-ism, and resent the idea that some idiot in television believes that I might be. The one thing I certainly never want to hear is the constant whining of someone who mutilates their body, rejects all the standards of contemporary society, and engages in behavior that is disturbing. destructive and disgusting, cry about 'how hard it is to be Me..."

Especially when the Whiner is the scion of stupid-rich 'entertainers' and ersatz 'cultural icons' of questionable talent, taste, and intelligence, given every advantage in life, and who will, naturally, expect to be held up as some sort of role model by people even dumber than they are.

Before I get the usual round of accusations of being a 'homophobe' and a 'hater, I don't hate people for 'being gay'; I hate people for being stupid and selfish. I've known quite a number of gay people in my lifetime and they all seem to possess the same, often-distasteful, qualities: an insatiable thirst for constant attention and reassurance, and a mistaken belief that 'no one understands me.' You weren't 'born this way', and you're not expressing a 'preference', nor making a 'lifestyle choice'; you're basically telling the rest of us that since we don't recognize your self-professed Greatness that you will shit all over our cherished beliefs and sensibilities as a means of revenge....and getting attention. So fuck off with your nasty e-mails. I've heard it all already.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The A-to-Z of Political Correctness...

It's a shame this had to be written by an Englishman.

Restoring American Machismo...

Metrosexuals suck.

(H/T Five Feet of Fury)

But...It's a Religion of Peace...an' Stuff...

Mika said so on Morning Joe!

Two Florida Imams arrested, linked to Pakistani Taliban. And it's a family affair, no less.

On the other hand, I'm not so sure we should be afraid of these people, who are driven by a culture of inadequacy that somes from having very small penises and room-temperature IQ's (H/T Five Feet of Fury).

This is all you need to know about jihadis:

Navy SEALS liberate copious Bin Laden Porn Stash.

I just loved this part:

"Details of the porn collection were scant.It was not clear what kind of porn was found, where in Bin Laden's hideout it was discovered, who had been viewing it, or how it was acquired. The randy recluse had been living inside the secret compound with three of his wives.

Officials noted that it's common to find porn during raids on Islamic militants."

I guess his new name is Osama Bin Yankin'?

I can pretty much guess at what was in that stash. Judging from the traffic to this very website from Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, amongst other locales -- the most popular search terms tend to be:

Donkey Sex (with spelling variants intended to spoof the Islamic Internet Censors, such as 'donkeyesex', 'donkeysexe', 'dnkysex', and 'Pakistan Donkey Sexe').

Islam Buttsex (varients: 'Muslim Buttsex', 'Islam buttseks')

Caught Jerking Off  (variants: 'Jihadi Jerking', 'Jihadis Jerking')

Muslim/Islam Golden Shower

You'll also find a wide variety of Muslim men who apparently enjoy rape video, kiddie porn, bestiality, and who seem to have an infatuation with firemen. I don't know if this is Muslims doing research on how firemen operate (potentially useful when plannning a terror attack), or on how FIREMEN OPERATE, if you catch my drift?

And that's been pretty much every week for the last year, incidentally.

It turns out that Bin Laden was a pothead, too. That figures; the world's most dangerous man was a sexually-frustrated slacker with three wives and a few gallons of herbal Viagra. I think it was Orwell (or maybe he was just repeating an observation made by someone else) who once said that violence, especially political and religious violence, was usually a result of the sex drive gone sour. Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, Imperial Japan, were all puritanical nations that had managed to subordinate the sex drive to a program of war and national aggrandizement.

No one does sexual repression better than Islam, so I guess it follows that the Jihadis seem to be the most violent and unhinged people in all of Creation.

Update: Muslims, apparently, would masturbate all day long, if they could.

A Lighter Shade of Green...

In a development that's almost certain to send a segment of libtards into unbridled, full-on-menstrual, apoplexic rage (which is mostly their usual state to begin with), it would appear that some people, at least, are welcoming the 'deadly threat' of Global Warming with unabashed enthusiasm.

Global Warming quite popular in Greenland.

But, I guess this means Greenlanders will have to be denied fresh vegetables by U.N. diktat. This so that Jeffrey Immelt can gather another few billion in Obama-administration taxpayer-funded Green Energy subsidies to produce windmills so expensive that those few Americans who actually DO want them buy the Chinese variety, and so that the International Socialist conspiracy that is Global Warming Alarmism can continue their work of enslaving us all free from dissenting opinion.

Don't be surprised if Obama decides he needs to invade another country in order to 'save' people we don't really give a shit about.

I wonder how The Won might square that circle of contradictory Oblah-blah Administration policies, if it ever came to it: the planet needs to be 'saved' from Global Warming, but Greenlanders will necesarily be deprived of Healthier Eating options in the process.

Cain Continues to Gain...

To those who would still cry racism in this day and age: Herman Cain is picking up suppport from White, Southern, Conservative Bible Thumpers. I know this does not make him"authentically black" in the Je$$e Jackass mold, but it tells you an awful lot about how society has changed many of it's prevailing attitudes, and how libtards -- and the people they live their parasitical lifestyle off of them -- have, conveniently, been silent about it.

Herman is kicking ass and taking names, and don't be surprised if his brand of straight-talking-no-nonsense conservatism -- that doesn't require the invocation of the deity every five seconds -- doesn't gain him even more converts going forward.

Update: Why Herman Cain is an appealing candidate. Like we needed anyone to explain it to us?