Friday, March 16, 2012

On Mormons and Evangelicals...

It has been a frequent assertion on this page that one Willard "Mitt" Romney, Presidential Candidate, would have to endure a grueling uphill slog towards that office based upon the simple fact that his Mormon faith makes him suspect in the eyes of Southern Religious Conservatives, who view Mormons as the next, best thing to apostates and child rapists.

Recent events -- i.e. The GOP southern caucuses and primaries -- have shown this to be true. It didn't take a rocket scientist to predict this outcome; all one needed was some first-hand experience of Southerners, in general, and Southern Religious Doofuses, in particular, to figure this out.

Conservative in the Closet Has Moved...

It was but a matter of time, really, but C-in-C is back in the saddle at her new blog, The End of Your Arm.

Go and visit her there before Lefty the Discipline Elf has to make an unannounced midnight visit to your house, and maim you in your sleep.

In the meantime, we're proud to put her new blog on our wall of shame.

While you're at it, take the opportunity to read through some of my favorite blogs:

Iowahawk: if you're still not reading Iowahawk every goddamned day, then you deserve to be drawn and quartered and served to cannibals in a creamy cheese sauce.

Five Feet of Fury: Inappropriate, but spot-on, commentary from one of Canada's cooler people. if all Canadians were like this, they'd be a shoo-in to be the 51st state way before Puerto Rico, and a hell of a lot more useful.

The Insane Asylum: Hey, I'm still writing there, and you should go over and see my peeps, Mr. Chap and Nena Grace, and sit a spell. They'll be glad to see you, and have a large selection of designer strait jackets and sedatives for you to chose from.

Diogenes' Middle Finger; Some of my content winds up there (thanks for the cross-links!), and there's some really cool stuff for you to laugh over. You won't need a helmet, I promise.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

On Shooting Afghans...

Apropos of the recent news of an American soldier allegedly murdering 16 Afghans, I say this:

Give that sick motherfucker a chestful of medals, and turn him into the next Patton.

If you're going to have a War on Terrorism at all, it should, one thinks, behoove you to be out killing the people who will, eventually, be performing said acts of Terorrism. After all, every Afghan is just one missed shipment of Islamically-approved, American-taxpayer-provided, dog-food-grade canned goods away from joining the Taliban, anyway.

But..It's for the Children...

Rochester, NY 13-year-old retaliated against by teachers, administrators, forced to go to another school, after writing essay critical of her so-called Educational Experience.

This is what happens when you unionize baboons, overpay them, and then give them tenure.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Some People's Children...

...are unbelievably retarded.

There is no other word for it, and I don't care how many people get offended when I use it. It's the only word that truly fits. There must be something in the air or water here on Staten Island which must be responsible for inflicting a series of horrendous birth defects in the children of a certain class of person.

Bye-Bye C-in-C...

Bad news: The Conservative in the Closet Blog is shutting down,

However, one gets the distinct impression that C-in-C herself will not be going into retirement, and that she'll resurface someplace else, rather soon.

In the meantime, all the Closet Conservative's posts will remain, her blog staying behind as sort of an archive of human stupidity. We here at the Asylum wish the C-in-C the very best of luck in her future endeavors. We've enjoyed your blog immensely.