Sunday, April 17, 2005

May You Live in Interesting Times...
The closest thing to a cuss word or phrase in Ancient China was the retort, "May you live in Interesting Times". It was a double-edged sort of phrase: it denoted a sincere wish that life not be boring for you, and also indicated that the well-wisher would like to see you hanging from a tree with your throat slit. Preferably after you'd been gang-raped by Mongols.

We live in some pretty interesting times right now. I call them interesting not because all of of what I'm about to spout about draws my attention in the same ways as, say, a hockey game, but because every one of the things on my list makes me shake my head at the density of the human skull. What I mean to say is, it's interesting because it's so obviously stupid, yet a good number of my fellow human beings just don't get it.

Interesting things:
- A woman (I think) who has been up to her eyeballs in illegal business dealings, refused to submit evidence that was subpoenaed by a court of law, who has no obvious qualifications, and who has ridden her husband's coattails while championing the cause that women are strong, independent, capable members of the human species, just might be a candidate for the highest office in America in 3 years. What's even worse is that in the face of some catastrophic event, she just might win. Hypocrisy notwithstanding, how anyone could buy the load of garbage this woman is selling is beyond me. It leaves me frightened at the thought of mankind's future and very existence.
- As we speak, a certain Congressman from Texas is being pilloried for a) doing something that is not illegal, b) doing something that, at this time, 34 of his colleagues on both sides of the aisle have also done, c) professing Christian faith, d) having the poor taste to thumb his nose at the press. This despite the fact that his detractors insist that every one is innocent until proven guilty, bewail the lack of "bi-partisanship", and that many of their pantheon of Olympian heroes have done worse. No evidence of wrong doing has been presented and no one has brought charges or a lawsuit against the man. Instead, this case is being tried in the court of public opinion, and in the hallowed halls of the House ethics Committee, which has ALWAYS been known for honesty and fairness. Just ask Newt Gingrich.

- Right now, a corrupt United Nations, a supposedly altruistic institution, is trying to explain why: a) it's executives stole billions of dollars meant to help starving people, b) how despotic regimes currently engaging in genocide happen to be it's point-men on Human Rights, c) why it runs brothels in about 14 different regions of the world, d) why it is still relevant or even useful. In the meantime, despite the evidence to the contrary there are those screaming that such a despicable organization not only should continue to exist, but it should be funded to the hilt and consulted more often. Yes, I always go to thieving, hypocritical, child molesters when I need sage advice.

- At the present time, people who hate Christianity are preparing strategies to co-opt Christian doctrine and values in a cynical ploy to get elected. To these people, to be a Christian is to be an unthinking automaton, a puppet of the Pope or your nearest televagelist, and that your head is so addled with "Thou shalt not.." That they might be able to con you into believing that they, too, believe the same things. They are doing this because they believe that Christians are now the key to electoral triumphalism, and haven't once stopped to think that perhaps they lost because their candidates and ideas are unpalatable. When in doubt, blame someone else for your mistakes. Do not be surprised to hear certain bloviating, murder-suspect Senators from New England, almost-convicted criminals from New York and fading-ex-hippies from California reciting the 23rd Psalm three times a day in the coming year.

- Right now, Jane Fonda is hoping to re-write history and erase memories as she hawks a book and a movie. She hopes to explain away her treason, her poor taste and her stupidity as the legacy of a mis-spent youth on the one hand, while continuing to believe that people are quite so dumb as to actually give her the benefit of the doubt on the other. Unfortunately, those that watch Larry King will swallow this hook, line and sinker.

- A few weeks ago, a living, breathing human being was starved to death by court order, yet convicted sex offenders walk around by the grace of the courts, raping and murdering several children in the last few weeks. On the opposite coast, a celebrity child molester is attempting to convince a jury that two dozen witnesses against him, witnesses he so obviously tried to buy off, are all lying when they say he molested them or their children. He is given even more latitude than your typical pedophile simply because he happens to be famous. Or is it infamous now? In the meantime, we agonize and debate as to whether or not sexual offenders should be tracked with GPS devices or have computer chips implanted in their skin. No stone, apparently, will go un-turned in the not-too-vigorous-defense of our children. No court in the land can bring itself to recognize some crimes as too heinous to let it's perpetrators live. Instead, we argue about the perp's "rights" and "comfort".

- A week ago, a Royal wedding between the two ugliest people in Britain got more attention than the crisis that faces this country due to unprotected borders. Private citizens who decided to volunteer to protect borders the government will not, were not congratulated, but instead castigated by jealous federal unions, so-called "liberals" and the press. God forbid anyone in this country should do anything so gauche as to uphold the law. Especially the people who are charged with writing and enforcing it.

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