Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Can we shoot 'em, Please? I have an idea on how to stop the flow of illegal immigrants into the country. It will be nasty, but it would be a solution, and it comes in several parts. See if you agree:

Part 1 - Give everyone who is presently illegally in the country 180 days to settle their affairs and then get them the hell out. Exceptions are to be made for the following class of person(s):

- Those with relatives serving in the U.S. Military- Those in hospitals receiving care for life-threatening diseases or conditions. When treatment is completed, they can leave.- Those with legitimate visas, although they will be required to periodically check in with the nearest local police station or government agency, until the visa expires, then they may leave.- Those currently in the process of qualifying for citizenship.

After 180 days, any police officer or government official may ask for valid immigration papers or proof of any of the conditions stated above. If these are not forthcoming, violators will either be shot on the spot, or arrested and sent to a open-air, fenced in facility in the Mojave desert, sans food, water, medical care or legal representation.

Part 2 - The United States government should inform what passes for a government in Mexico that it will consider the NEXT Mexican to cross the border after a certain date to be the spearhead of an invasion, which will be repulsed with military force, and probably won't be stopped until US forces overrun the Mexican oilfields.

Part 3 - Anyone attempting to enter the country on a hijacked freighter (like the 500 or so Haitians this week), airliner, bus, automobile, train, mule, horse or donkey will be considered pirates and sentenced to the death penalty.

Part 4 - anyone who comes ashore on a rickety raft, innertube, or other floating contrivance and leaves said contrivance on the shore, will be charged with littering, sentenced to 4,000 hours of community service cleaning public restrooms, and then executed and/or sent to the fenced-in, open-air facility in the Mojave desert, etc, etc.

Part 5 - The United States government should announce to all countries applicable that if unchecked immigration continues, we will consider it an act of economic warfare and act accordingly with embargoes, higher tariffs and blockades of ports, border crossings, etc.

Part 6 - Political asylum may no longer be granted unless by Presidential decree or order, on a case by case basis. Those waiting to be granted asylum can wait in whatever shithole it is they came from originally.

Part 7 - A policy should be put in place reviving the institution of "indentured servants" for only the most talented/promising illegals. Those that posses skills or talents will be sold at auction at the fenced-in, open-air facility mentioned above. They will be paid minimum wage, without benefits, until such time as their debt to their employer is paid, plus an equal amount to the United States government. After these debts are paid, the servant may leave or be executed, his/her choice.

Part 8 - the US /Mexican border shall be mined, and patrolled by armed Marines with vicious dogs. Desert waterholes not in use by local farmers will be poisoned to prevent their use. The US Airforce will fly overwatch over the border region with orders to shoot or drop munitions on anyone within a 1000 yard "free fire zone" along the border.

Part 9 - The privledge of citizenship shall no longer be granted to children born in the United States to non-US nationals. The same for welfare benefits.

Part 10 - English will be decreed the chief lingua franca of the United States, and an English proficiency exam will be included in the requirements for obtaining citizenship. No federal money will be spent on bi-lingual education, the government will no longer spend money to print forms and publications in languages other than English. Licenses to operate television or radio stations in a language other than English will be revoked, and no new ones will be issued. Foreign language newspapers will be banned.

Part 11 - No hospital, medical clinic, private physician or medical professional shall render medical care to someone who cannot prove US citizenship, unless said person is unconscious, in labor, a child, or in immediate danger of death. No physician or medical professional or hospital/clinic may be sued for refusing treatment to one who cannot prove citizenship.

Part 12 - The United States government shall require proof of vaccination against the following diseases, prior to allowing entry into the country:

Tuberculosis, measles, rubella, smallpox, anthrax, mumps, tetanus and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Anyone without such documentation will confined to the fenced-in, open-air facility, etc, etc, until such proof can be obtained.

I don't consider any of this unnecessarily harsh. It's what a government is supposed to when it takes it responsibility to protect it's borders seriously. As for the fenced-in, open-air facility, we used to have one on Ellis Island. Remember that place?

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