Monday, January 26, 2009

The Princess and the Pea-brain...
Unless you live under a rock, you know of the trials and travails of one Caroline Kennedy, daughter of the dead president and airhead extraordinaire. If you don't, you need to get out more, but here's a brief synopsis;

When Hitlery gave up her Senate seat to be the Secretary of State for the Enlightened One, the governor of New York, David Paterson, was constitutionally required to choose a replacement for the old hag. In a shameful display of rabid self-interest (politicians in New York state disprove on a daily basis the contention that they 'serve the public') a feeding frenzy -- reminiscent of a swarm of sharks surrounding a whale carcase -- developed around the nomination, fueled by the swollen heads of the swags battling each other for the governor's nod, the hyper-active press in Albany which has nothing else to do, and the Governor himself who had to make certain he got the proper 'dap' for his selection without appearing to get any (after all, when you've come into office because your predecessor disgraced himself with his sexual proclivities, and when the governor of Illinois is under indictment because he was trying to sell a seat, you need to be careful. Oh, but this is New York; as long as you didn't say "Show me the money!", it doesn't matter if it's only implied that you need to see the money).

A bunch of non-entities fought it out behind the scenes to get their grubby mitts on the senate seat; Andrew Cuomo, attorney general, former HUD secretary, son of the former governor and prince of the undead, was one. He is one of the most singularly ugly and frightening individuals you have ever seen in your life. Instead of haunting courtrooms in Albany, he should perhaps be offering boat rides across the River Styx. But I digress.

Most of the other folks mentioned (mostly by the press) you will probably never have heard of, and for good reason: most of them haven't accomplished anything of worth in their miserable lives. They're creatures of the State Capitol of Albany, which repels people with talent like a reverse-polarity magnet. If you have enough skill to chew gum and can breathe without mechanical assistance, you go elsewhere to work and can probably look forward to a personally-rewarding and useful career. Albany is where parasites go to live out their normal life-cycle before newspaper scandal, a federal indictment or old age takes them. You can talk about graft in Illinois and Louisiana, but ours is just as bad, and mostly because only the very worst sort finds it's way into the halls of power.

Which brings us back to Miss Kennedy.

It's not as if she had any 'qualifications' for the Senate (then again, neither did the Hil-de-beest, so that's a poor argument against), and her only real appeal was as the last remnant of the tattered memory of Camelot -- which is somehow being magically restored under the stewardship of Barack Hussein Obama. That's strange because in the days of the real Kennedy Camelot, Obama would have been a real steward and not just a metaphorical one. But, anyway, Caroline's elevation to the Senate seat once held by her uncle Bobby (himself a moron and carpetbagger) would have been a poetically elegant touch to this new era of democratic (small 'd' intentional) nostalgia and euphoria. The retards from the 1960's have finally seen what they equate to true equality in the United Sates with the elevation of an unqualified black man to the head of state, so why not complete the 1960's vision and have the last living heir to the Kennedy vision elevated to a job she can't do, too? And then we could have another Woodstock, complete with very bad brown acid. Then the aging hippies could finally die in peace, their postponed pea-brained vision of a Kumbaya future apparently realized.

But then the governor dashed all those dreams, all those carefully-constructed fantasies, and went picked some other woman, one Kirsten Gillibrand -- who might as well be a republican with her pro-gun and anti-bailout stands --- and then had the audacity to backhandedly trash Sweet Princess Caroline in the process!

Anyways, it seems that Caroline was owed that seat. The way the Kennedy's talk, Paterson is about to be steamrolled by the Kennedy machine, and vengeance will be Teddy's. He (Paterson) publicly humiliated the woman who can't complete a sentence without resorting to 37 "you knows", and "I means..." and "you know what I mean?". And then there's the allegations that she won't disclose her financial information, possible tax problems, and the faintest whispers that she may have hired illegal immigrants and not paid their taxes, either. But no, Caroline was embarrassed by the governor, and denied her just due. Why it was her just due is beyond me, but you get the impression from her (very vocal) supporters that this senate seat was her birthright.

Quite frankly, I don't care for any of that incestuous and noxious crowd up in Albany; not for people who believe they have the right to public office because of the accident of their birth (no more Cuomos, no more Kennedys, and I swear I will puke if we see another Clinton in office in this state), or those who believe that because they spent a number of years successfully milking the public tit in the state Assembly or Senate that they are suddenly entitled to move on up to a bigger tit as Governor or Senator, and then milk that dry. I'm sick of Mayors who say one thing, and then do another, and for whom, the exercise of power is a right granted by virtue of the fact that he can bring his personal fortune to bear in it's attainment and execution.

I'm perfectly happy that Caroline Kennedy didn't get this seat, because while the coverage of her failure (or double-cross, depending upon which side you're on) is annoying and disgusting, the way the press would have fawned over her for the next two years and treated her every pronouncement as pure gold would have been even more maddening. I wish Kirsten Gillbrand (whoever she is) the best of luck; she's going to need it now that the American Royalty has been snubbed -- they have their knives out for her, too.

I want everyone to look back to that press conference the governor held when he named Gillibrand and take a look at who was standing up there representing New York:

* A governor who wasn't elected, but got the job because Eliot Spitzer liked hookers, and who then admitted when he took office that he had once had a drug habit.

*Charles Schumer, a man so vile that there isn't a disinfectant powerful enough to scrub him off the public stage...yet. They say the most dangerous place to be in the world is between Charles Schumer and a television camera. The man is so self-obsessed that he's in danger of folding in upon himself. This is one of the architects of the current banking crisis (his letter publicly identifying Indy-Mac as a failing institution began a run on the banks which helped to exacerbate the problem). The sooner Charles Schumer gets sucked up into a vent or falls into a black hole, the better.

*Sheldon Silver, the Speaker of the New York State Assembly. Silver has never met a welfare program or tax hike that he didn't like, and has a real problem with separating his public work in Albany with his private work as a high-priced lawyer representing some of the more powerful, monied interests in New York City. Unless the check clears...

Caroline should be thrilled she won't have to sully herself with hanging about these men, on the one hand, and on the other, we should be glad none of them will get the chance to pull her strings. With this bunch, even with her pedigree, she would have been nothing but the Puppet Princess.

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