Monday, June 13, 2011

A Trip Through My Mailbox, Part V...

And then we come to this lovely bit of stupidity, courtesy of someone named Alyssa, in reference to this weekend’s assertion that Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl is the sexiest woman in all of America.
Alyssa writes:
“…I find it strange that you should ideolize (sic) such an old-fashioned notion of American Womanhood. Flo might be an independent woman at first blush, but the subtext of Flo’s character is that she’s still the patriarchy’s ideal vision of the stay-at-home wife and mother, and this is because of how she looks…Admit it, you love Flo because she her retro look reinforces your negative and outdated notions of masculinity…”
Alyssa has probably just finished her freshman year at one of our finest Community Colleges, and took Gender Studies as an elective course. The rest of the screed made just as little sense, too, and one gets the impression that young Alyssa did, indeed, pass this course by simply re-puking Professor Pantybunches’ pablum.

A friendly word of advice to you, Alyssa, just in case you ever return: I sincerely hope, for your sake, Sunshine, that you learn to make biscuits, and have great big hooters and practice your oral sex technique often, because if left to your own devices one gets the distinct impression that you would most certainly starve to death – regardless of whatever degree you manage to scrape up in that school of yours -- without a husband to support you.

If you ever wanted to know why it is that Men find the ‘retro subtexts’ of Flo so attractive, maybe it’s because we can’t stand being lectured to by women who use the word ‘patriarchy’, and who are clueless enough as to deign to attempt to explain 'masculinity' to us in a condescending manner. And by the way, learn to spell “idealize”. Don’t you have a spell-checker on that computer?

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