Thursday, August 02, 2012

Bloomberg Unhinged...

Apologies: I had meant to get to this earlier, but shit happens and all that.

Okay, so it would seem that New York City Mayor Micheal Boomdouche...errm...Bloomberg...has finally lost his last sodding marble, and has extended his food fetishes to baby Formula. It's bad enough the New York City school system won't educate the little tykes when they get old enough to attend, now Bloomberg wants to see them starving, too.

Probably because stupid and starving people are easier to control and boss around. I think Bloomdick has it in his head to run for Mayor in perpetuity, so long as his vast fortune keeps buying him the office.

Now, I don't know what, if anything, would make Michael Bloomturd an expert on breast feeding, except to say that perhaps his own mother stopped way too soon. Maybe all this Bloomberg food-related tyranny is some Freudian expression of some deep seated emotional torment related to his own failure to latch, or perhaps Mommy just withheld the tit as punishment for soiling his drawers during potty training. Who knows?

All I do know is that some asswipe -- and you know it just had to be a chick. some old chick,. who you know has never breast fed anything in her life, the sort that takes it upon herself as a God-given right to insert her stupidity into as many lives as she deems necessary -- got into Bloomcrud's ear, and gave him the business over this "crisis" of women using Baby Formula instead of Breast Milk.

Because everything nowadays is a fucking "crisis" that requires government intervention in our lives, always spearheaded by self-appointed arbiters of good taste and good social convention.

Frankly, I'd like to see people of this sort taken out and dragged in chains behind a team of incontinent horses over a cobblestone street liberally sprinkled with potholes. It's people like this, with their often-irrational worries and apparent loads of free time, who get up to the worst sort of devilishness under the guise of "doing good". These are the people who start the "Crusade" against sugary drinks, or the "War" on transfats, or lead boycotts of legitimate business because they happen to disagree with a political point of view, or a legal business practice..

In the case of New York City, most of this social crusading revolves around food; street meat, lattes, sodas and juices, transfats and sugar content, because Mayor McCheese and his cohorts from the Upper East Side are under the impression that the medical system is simply swamped and super-expensive because it's jammed with fat, diabetic proles seeking expensive treatment.

Actually, the hospitals are swamped and super-expensive because:

a) Most of the people using them aren't paying for the services they receive. If they aren't outright deadbeats, they're wards of the state. And since they don't have to pay for their treatment, they're in the hospital for everything from a shaving cut to a summer allergy, when they aren't there with multiple stab or gunshot wounds after this week's crack house turf battle.

b) we expend entirely too much time, effort and resources saving people who, quite frankly, shouldn't be saved. Let the drug addicts die, let the attempted suicides get a second crack at it, and why are we wheeling in every medical machine known to man to prolong the agony of the 90+ year old pneumonia-and-multiple-stroke-suffering old woman? Start directing the medical resources we have to those who seem to have a chance of paying their bill, living more than two weeks, and who appear to have the promise of economic utility about them.

c) We're allowing illegal immigrants to use the hospitals to have anchor babies, and we're repairing their injuries after their interminable number of broken-bottle fights (for some reason, Central Americans love to fight with broken bottles). New rule: if you don't speak English, and we can't prove you're here legally, unless you're bleeding or unconscious, get the fuck out of the Emergency Room. We should stop signing birth certificates if at least one parent can't prove citizenship or permission to be in the country within 48 hours, too. And much like those in a), the illegals use the hospitals excessively -- and free -- too.

But no; the real problem according to these geniuses is what we eat, and the sooner the Nosy Parkers get to us, the better. Now they've decided to get to the next generation just as soon as they're born. They will drink breast milk -- whether they like it or not, whether or not it is convenient for the mother, and despite the fact that she's supposed to have freedom of choice (or right, that concept only applies to killing your child before it's born. I forgot) -- by Royal Decree. The hospitals will keep the ratty old baby formula that has seem generations of youngsters grow up healthy and strong under lock and key.

Personally, I think there's another motive behind this stupid idea, one the Bloomshit's of the world just can't admit to, but you know it's there all the same, and to admit to it wold be a tacit admission of...dare I say it?...the most blatant racism.

Because let's face it: who is dying of diabetes because they eat fast food three meals a day, and the rest of the time snack on pork rinds and Twinkies, often simultaneously? Who else buys 64-oz Slurpees and Big Gulps? Who else would eat a deep-fried-doughnut-topped-with-mozzarella-cheese? Who else is hanging around hospital emergency wards awaiting toe, finger, and limb amputations due to diabetic-and-cardiac-related issues, not to mention the already-noted multiple stab and gunshot wounds?

Not many white folks who look like Bloomberg and his friends, that's for certain.

And besides, doesn't the food stamp program in New York pay for baby Formula? Expensive baby formula that baby's drink as if it were water, four-to-six bottles a day? Perhaps if all those poor mothers could be persuaded to start whipping a tit out to feed their four-children-by-seven-possible-fathers instead of reaching for that super-expensive baby formula, we could save some money?

Money which would then be used by Mayor Mind-Everyone-Else's-Business and his cronies to further rope Manhattan off from the Outer Borough proles, of course.

In any case, it's about time someone started telling these Food Nazis to lay the fuck off. It's bad enough to have to deal with the very often petty and annoying inconveniences of living in the Greatest City in the World (we have to share it with Bloomberg, mental patients deliberately set loose, and illegal immigrants), pay some of the highest taxes in all of America , and be subjected to the mental retardation that is both the worst State Legislature and Worst  Congressional Contingent in all America, all topped by Andrew Cuomo, who has all the charm of a cheese grater meeting your hemorrhoids, is it necessary for the city government to stick it's unwanted nose into our eating habits?

The answer is no, but until these people -- and you know who they are, because they will go out of their way to comment (excuse me, "offer helpful, but unwanted, and self-righteous advice") when you eat a burrito on the street - start getting their asses kicked, hey'll keep digging further and further into your life.

This only stops when all the local evening broadcasts begin with yet another story of some intrusive little dipshit in J-Crew and Birkenstocks being found laying unconscious in an alley by police with a half-eaten souvlaki jammed into his ass.

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