Saturday, August 04, 2012

The Anticipation is Killing Me...

I hate waiting. I am the most impatient man, I think, the world has ever known. Particularly when it comes to having to wait in order to rid myself of a nuisance.

Why is it that time flies when we're having fun, but absolutely crawls when it comes to getting rid of  bad presidents?

This agonizing wait is reminiscent of those days of early childhood, when Christmas couldn't come soon enough, and when an afternoon was sometimes spent in anticipation of a visit from the Ice Cream truck. The bells and tinny music would be audible for miles before the truck actually arrived, and you wondered if the truck would ever get here so that you could buy your Bomb Pop and a Yoo-Hoo

You know, if there's one advantage to a European-style Parliamentary system, it is this: when you finally get sick and tired of your leadership, you can at least declare "No Confidence" in your government and hold immediate elections. Not that I'm advocating for a change in our system (with the possible exception that it should be okay to spay or neuter democrats, small 'd' intentional).

So, yeah, I figure Election Day can't come too goddamned soon. I reckon this is exactly how someone must feel while waiting on a transplant list, knowing their time is running out while fervently praying that someone, anyone, would just fucking die already, so that they may be saved.

Alas, we have three months to go, still, and that means three more months of Barack Obama's excuses, and if there's anything we've learned over the last three-plus years it is that none makes excuses like Barack Obama. After he's out of office, he could make a very lucrative living writing fake excuse notes on the Q.T. for high schoolers who need to skip gym class. Or maybe he could make some dough writing for Saturday Night Live with his fellow Libtards, because when you stop to think about it, the Obama Experience has been nothing if not laughable.

Barack Obama needs to be kicked to the curb. ASAP. Pronto. Immediately. These next three months are going to be like watching a beached whale, great slabs of blubber torn from it's sides by sharks and killer whales, slowly expire. Shrinking and drying out in the sun, smelling to high heaven as the carcass rots, the last vestiges of lifeblood staining the sand while we wait for the inevitable last breath. In the meantime, some bunch of pathetic assholes from Greenpeace or something try desperately, and futilely (you know who you are, Bob Beckel, Rachel Maddow, et. al.) to push the damned thing back into the water in a desperate attempt to get it to float one last time without a thought that such action will only prolong the agony and subject the thing to the scavengers one last time.

Barack Obama promised so much, and it is a testament to the stupidity of about 52% of the American people that they believed him.

I'm still waiting for those lower sea levels.

I'm still waiting for Guantanamo Bay's prisons to close, and the War on Terror to be won. Sorry, but just because you ordered other people to shoot bin Laden in the fucking face doesn't mean victory has been assured, no more than GWB's assertion of "Mission Accomplished" and the Fall of Saddam did. The answer to Islamofascist terror is not targeted strikes, Special Forces, or limited war, but a fundamental destruction of what passes for Islamic culture that makes vast numbers of people suffer horribly to the point where they begin to agitate for an end to the stupidity within their own states.

I'm still waiting for that massive economic recovery to kick in. Oh sure, I know there's been all sorts of stumbling blocks: Japanese Tsunamis, European Debt Crises, quasi-FundaMENTAList Arab Springs, Droughts, Earthquakes, Lunar and Solar Eclipses, outbreaks of Ebola in the Congo, your dog got fleas, your cat ran away, the good 'ol standby of "Republicans", but politically-motivated Stimulus Plans, Government "investments" in your friends' and contributors' Green Energy startups, building Turtle Tunnels under the Interstates, all the Food Stamps in the World, haven't sparked a recovery. Go figure.It all looked so good in the Ivory Towers at Princeton and Harvard.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how someone who won a Nobel Peace Prize could authorize the use of force against Qaddafi, secretly plan to aid the Syrian Rebels, and execute drone strikes in Yemen and Pakistan, all the while having decried the "unnecessary" war in Iraq, whilst retreating in Afghanistan. Oh right: you got the Nobel Peace Prize not for your commitment to World Peace, but for simply being a (half-) black man from a nation which Europeans consider to have had something of a checkered racial past. So sayeth the people who wiped out the populations of entire continents with smallpox and syphilis.

I'm still waiting for Obama to heal the racial divide in America, and to put an end to all this partisan bickering. Then again, what could one have expected when The President of the United States surrounds himself with racial hucksters (Van Jones), people who have depended upon Affirmative Action to get where they are (Himself, His Wife, Valerie Jarret), the worst of the Chicago-style political criminal class (Emmanuel, Dailey),   screams "racist" at every criticism, engages in the sort of Class Warfare rhetoric that would have made Lenin proud and shocked at the same time, and which operates a machine that smears and threatens it opponents, of all stripes, at the drop of a hat? I'm waiting for Barack Obama to explain how it is that he earned $8 million last year, while the President of the United States is only, by law, paid some $400,000, and why this doesn't make him one of the dreaded "One Percent" he's always on about.

I'm still waiting for Unemployment to drop to that oh-so-cozy-sounding 6% or whatever it was that the Obamatard promised, instead of it continuing to hover at (officially, and if you believe this number, you're an idiot) 8.3%, and eagerly awaiting the day when someone, finally, explains what was meant by a job "Saved or Created" that didn't include the doofus who cleans the windshield wipers on the Electric Buses.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain how "saving" GM by caving into the UAW, shafting investors, and flouting the authority of bankruptcy courts was all "in the finest tradition of our Capitalist system". I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why it is a good idea to run GM so that it builds hybrid cars that no one wants, can't be supported by the current infrastructure, at prices few can afford without a government bribe (Cash-for-Clunkers), was a great thing that will "save" an American Icon.

I'm still waiting for all those highly-sought-after Green Energy Jobs paid for by taxpayer funds that mysteriously disappear, usually into the pockets of those who contributed the most to your campaigns. I want to know where all my windmill-supplied electricity went, where all those super-affordable solar farms were placed, why there isn't a goddamned tidal generator in every American household. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me how it was a good idea to waste billions of (borrowed) dollars on Green Energy for the 37 permanent jobs it's apparently created.

I'm still waiting for Barack Obama to fulfill his pledge to cut the Federal Deficit in half. Hell, I'll settle for a cut of one quarter, or even an eighth at this point. I'm still eagerly awaiting an explanation of how borrowing another $5 trillion dollars for "Stimulus" and Welfare is a positive boon to the American taxpayer, and how a tripling of the National Debt will be an economic boost.

I'm still waiting for Barack Obama to explain what the advantages of his signature Health Care plan will be to someone who isn't a welfare queen, a deadbeat, or an illegal alien. I'm still waiting for someone who knows to explain -- because even after we've passed it, no one has seemingly read it, still -- what sort of onerous government interference we can expect between us and our doctors, gynecologists, and dentists, and what makes some government bureaucrat so certain they can make my health decisions for me? I'm fairly certain that whatever phony number ObamaCare supporters threw out there as far as cost has already been proven to be a lie by a factor of at least three, so why should I believe any of the rhetoric about this positive Godsend lowering the cost of Health Care in America? Please explain to me why it is that half the program doesn't even begin until President Odouchebag (theoretically) would be in a Second term? I'm sure someone will be along shortly to explain that this curious feature wasn't intended to be used as a political device if Obama looked weak come election day 2012.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me why Joe Biden and Tim Geithner continue to insist on using the term "Recovery" in front of the word "Summer". We're on Recovery Summer 3 already, and the recovery is difficult, if not damned-near-impossible, to see.

I'm still waiting for that Transparent Administration we were promised. I want to know if Eric Holder deliberately sent guns to Mexico to advocate for Gun Control here in America, and managed to get a Border Patrol agent murdered by an ATF gun in the process.I'm still waiting for someone to explain why the Black Panthers haven't been prosecuted for interfering with other people's Civil Rights. I'm all ears should someone come by and fill me in on all the details on Solyndra, SolarOne, Goldman-Sachs, MFGlobal, alleged illegal campaign contributions, and so on and so forth. I want to know how many times the AFL-CIO, SEIU, AFSCME, and Teamsters have been in the White House, and what was said. I figure hell will freeze over (so much for global warming!) -- or someone might claim Executive Privilege -- before I find out. Oh well, we can at least console ourselves with the thought that the Obama Presidential Library will be the smallest in history, what with the shredders already in overdrive, and the revisionist history all-but-impossible to write.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how paying your taxes is a patriotic duty, and somehow the Obama Administration managed to select so many tax cheats for it's cabinet. The hypocrisy is glaring, obvious, and inexcusable.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain the pathology behind the Obama attitude towards The Rich in this country. On the one hand, he makes remarks like "cutting taxes for 95% of America's working families" as if he believes The Rich don't work. That they sit around in some sort of scene from F. Scott Fitzgerald, with teacups delicately-balanced on one knee, reading ticker tape and ordering Jeeves to fetch the limo...the Blue One..for a quick jaunt to The Club for some badminton, post afternoon sherry. Then Obama goes out and begs them for their money -- some 200 times since taking office -- while he himself makes more (20 times more!) than the average "American Working family" that he claims such affinity with. Where does all this stupidity, this hypocrisy, these seemingly bizarre contradictions come from?

Where is that man who railed against the evils of privilege and waste, and a lifestyle devoted only to the chasing of money and comfort, while our educational system flounders for "lack of funding" and conspicuous consumption threatens the planet? I guess he must be off on another vacation he doesn't pay for in Vail, Martha's Vineyard, Hawaii, or perhaps sending his children to a tony school that few others can afford, or maybe the First Llady is busy taking 1,000 sycophants with her to Spain again, or attending the opening ceremony of the Olympics in a $7,000 jacket, that is, of course, when she isn't sending the White House servants out to tend to "her" garden that she only uses as a photo prop, or the Obama's aren't giving Air Force One a royal workout -- and a tremendous carbon footprint -- for a date night in Manhattan.

I'm still waiting for Barack Obama's real Birth Certificate. I'm still waiting for Barack Obama's college transcripts. I'm still waiting for someone to produce a solitary article authored by Obama while editor of the Harvard Law Review.I'm still waiting to see the details of Obama's Chicago mortgage arrangement with Tony Reszko.

Speaking of mortgages, I'm also all a-twitter at the prospect of having someone explain just how it was that spending billions of taxpayer dollars to keep deadbeats, who would mostly re-default in a few months anyway,  in houses they couldn't afford was good for the economy and the banking system. I'm still awaiting an explanation on the logical contradiction of how millions of people who signed contracts without first reading them or obtaining legal representation are still victims of "predatory lenders", and not douchebags who thought they were getting something for nothing, or stupid excuses for human beings who should be culled from the herd in order to save the gene pool.

Barack Obama has been nothing but one long list of broken promises (none of which was realistic to begin with) and a treasure trove of poor excuses. If Obama served any purpose with his tenure as President, it was to illustrate that perhaps some segments of the American voting public should be taken out and shot, and that when you don't shop for quality in your candidates and simply fall for the shiny new packaging, you usually get something twice as expensive and three times as disappointing.

About the only promise Barack Obama did keep was that under his administration energy prices -- particularly gasoline prices -- would rise dramatically. That much he's done.

I tell you, I'm no fan of Mitt Romney, but anything up to and including a full-bore, high-pressure, sulfuric acid enema is preferable to waiting around for Obama to finally shove off.

And as I finish this, the ice cream truck has just arrived...I'm off for my well-deserved Bomb Pop and a Yoo-Hoo.

No comments: