What The Fuck Just Happened?

So, the Election of 2012 has ended, and not in a good way.

Barack Obama has won re-election, a possibility that as little as a week ago seemed remote, nearly impossible, given high unemployment, economic stagnation, crippling national debt, gridlock in the halls of Congress, and an apparently reinvigorated Al'Qaeda on the rampage throughout Northern Africa. There will be much navel gazing today, and for weeks to come, and most of the results will be predictable:


Ann Coulter will tell you that although Romney was the right man to slay the Obama Dragon, he simply wasn't 'conservative enough' -- despite her guarantees and assurances to the contrary, and against all obvious logic --  to even beat the hapless Obama.

Dick Morris will tell you that the fulcrum of the Obama victory will be some heretofore unknown issue, completely ignored by Romney/Ryan that reared it's ugly head at the very last minute to energize swing voters in the direction directly opposite to their actual interests.

Pat Buchanan will give you the well-polished, tried-and-true stock answer for republican defeat that Romney was rejected because he was not aggressive enough in the defense and advance of Conservative social principles, particularly on the Right-to-Life issue.

Some GOP spokesdouche with a frat boy hair cut and expensive suit, will tell you that the GOP failed to 'connect' with their 'natural allies'  -- the Latino voter -- despite the fact that it's bloody fucking obvious that Latinos are NOT Conservatives; yes, they tend to be family-oriented, religious douchebags, but they like their conservatism to come with a hefty dose of Obama-style Social Justice and Amnesty for Illegal Aliens. Why the GOP never seems to get this is beyond me: probably because they're still listening to the Cuban Exiles of South Florida, the Western Hemisphere's version of the Palestinians. The mass of the Latino vote out there is not concerned with Cold War-era issues or matters of State; they just want a piece of a pie they have largely not paid for, too, you know.

Why should Je$$e Jackson have all the fun?

In any case, the Worst President in American History -- Obama makes Carter look like an able statesman of Churchillian proportions -- has retained his crown, and as liberals (small 'l' intentional) always do, has claimed a 'mandate' to continue to grind working Americans into the dirt in the name of redistributionist concepts of 'fairness' which are supposed, in theory, to make everyone happy, but in reality, usually only make everyone equally miserable.

It would not surprise me to find out that what really gave an implausible victory to an otherwise ineffective man, was simply this:

There's a whole lot more useless mouths, devoid of critical thinking skills, out there than we thought possible. This means there are far more people who are likely to be of marginal, if any, true economic use (in that they actually do not create or add to the nation's wealth, only consume it) in existence than anyone actually imagined.

And we can look to the usual suspects when it comes to figuring out who those people are:

The Welfare Queens

The Union Members

The Unfettered Immigration Crowd

The Elderly who take even the merest suggestion that Medicare and Social Security need fundamental reforms as an evil plot to kill them all and turn them into dog food.

The Baby Boomers, denizens of the 1960's, who are about to retire in record numbers with greatly-reduced assets in the next few years, who believe they have the natural right to steal from future generations to pay for their butt lifts and creaky prostates because they went to Woodstock.

American Women, who, apparently are the dumbest creatures on Planet Earth, who cannot survive without birth control paid for by the Catholic Church, unfettered abortion subsidized by the taxpayer, and the all-powerful, deep-pocketed Uncle Sam as ready-to-please-here's-your-check Sugar Daddy of Last Resort, who are easily panicked at the merest suggestion that their vaginas may not be safe, or under their complete control. That is what feminism has reduced many women too. Apparently, that was the plan all along.

Somewhere in a swing state that was really close, at least one of them, the Libertarians did their level best to ensure that while America goes broke, we're one step closer to legalized pot. When all is said and done, the Libertarian vote will be to Romney in, say, Ohio, what Ralph Nader was in Florida to Al Gore. Gary Johnson and Jill Stein had better go into hiding, methinks.

Some of the more fringe-element conservative (small 'c' intentional) bloggers and rabble rousers will be calling for armed insurrection this morning. That is a huge mistake: for a start, we've just had what appears to have been a fair election (the reports of voter intimidation and other shenanigans is par for the course), and the People Have Spoken. Unfortunately, they seem to have been speaking Spanish and Ebonics, but that is the system we have, for better or worse. Don't even think of writing this morning that someone ought to put a bullet into Obama's brainpan, because the only thing worse than imagining another four years of President Dipshit (and her husband, too), would be the instant-and-grossly-over-the-top-revisionist-history deification process that would begin before the corpse got cold.

Some of the more rabid REAL Conservatives of the Bible-Thumping sort will tell you that Republican defeat was inevitable, since the candidate the GOP selected didn't run his mouth off about defending the unborn or invoke the deity every six seconds, but these people need to be ignored. It is because of them that a truly more conservative candidate who would have wiped the floor with Odingbat couldn't get out of the starting gates, because they couldn't handle the salacious details of his marital affairs (Gingrich), and their other champion (Santorum) was about as interesting and appealing as an unchecked case of herpes..The answer to the question "How do you defeat opponents like Obama?" is not "Give 'em fire and brimstone, Boy!" but rather, find a way for the GOP to capture some of those squishy left-of-centers who aren't dedicated ideologues.

There must be at least four of them out there, I reckon.

As an aside to those 'God punished Us' morons, you ran two REAL Conservatives for Senate in Indiana and Missouri, who seemed to think rape was just hunky-dory under the proper, Biblical circumstances, and they were both trounced in races they should have handily won. If you ask me, that's a clear indication that your sort of politics -- stained with a Fundamentalist Christianity that reminds one of the Taliban -- is a guaranteed loser. But hey, it was never about winning the White House as much as it was about getting to be one of the few to get Raptured at the End of Days right?

So, I'll let the 'experts' decide on just what happened last night that caused a complete doofus to get re-elected in what should have been a slam-dunk election. Whatever they have to say, whatever reason they invent, whatever fantasy they concoct, should be just as interesting as the truth, which is to say that there are far more people out there living on -- or expecting to live on, soon -- the government teat to overcome with reasonable arguments based on facts and ideology, because we got a liberal (no pun intended) dose of that sort of thing from Romney/Ryan, and they fell short of the mark.

The truth, however, will be staring them in the face the entire time. For if Twitter is any indication of the pulse of the body politic and social, it can be summed up in this quaint little headline over at Twitchy

With first post-racial president re-elected, 'F**K White people trends'.

See? While you were talking about GDP, and international terrorism, and tax codes, and economic recovery, the biggest proponents of 'tolerance' in America (it's funny: they only seem to insist upon tolerance when it suits their personal needs or agenda) were out there deciding that racism was as good as any reason to vote for a continued downward spiral.

This is what happens when previous Republican administrations don't tackle the problems of immigration, the perpetual poverty class, entitlement reform, and expanding government welfare programs; you get what Alexis D'Tocqueville warned us against, a mob that has discovered it has the power to vote itself other people's money in perpetuity.

Sadly, the only thing that Obama's re-election proved about America last night is that it is very much on it's way to becoming Zimbabwe, only speaking Spanish and the Urban Patois of South Central, and populated by potentially-exploding cabdrivers of a certain non-pork-eating-religious persuasion who don't like Jews, and unthinking baby-making machines who expect the State to pay to support their children from the Cradle to the all-but-certain Life-Without-Parole Sentence.

Even Mitt Romney should have been able to beat that sort of voting coalition in his sleep. That he didn't is the real mystery.Forget the political crapspeak today, and just tell me the truth about how THAT happened.