Personal Ad...

Lunatic ISO total bitch of the canine variety, preferably as young as possible. You: have four legs, a cold, wet nose and will eventually grow up to drink out of a toilet. You must enjoy long walks at the end of leash, chasing sticks and despise cats. Other qualities you must possess are: Free to good home, lovable mutt (preferably with spaniel, shepard or collie lineage). Pureblood snobs costing excessive amounts of dough need not apply. Me: Kind-hearted, Italian sugar daddy who will keep you in kibbles n' bits for the remainder of your natural life. I enjoy petting and romps through open fields.

Seriously, if anyone has a puppy they wish to give away,please contact me at Excelsior502@aol.com. Send a pic, if possible (provocative poses get immediate responses!). If necessary, I will pay to transport Ms. Right from wherever she may be found.