Sunday, December 14, 2003

Saddam is Captured!
Woke up to the news this morning that Public Enemy Numero Uno in Iraq was captured by Special Forces this morning in the city of Tikrit, hiding in a farmhouse surrounded by tons of money. Although armed, said miscreant Hussein did not offer any resistance. God Bless the US Army, President Bush and the Iraqi people, who can now be expected to take out their own trash.

One down and one to go....

Saddam's capture, of course, is something to celebrate. Not only is it a victory for freedom-loving people everywhere, it is a victory for the whole of civilization. One less dictator, one less psychopath with the full resources of a virtual slave state behind him. Howard Dean, John Kery, Hilary Clinton, et. al., should learn the lesson and take it to heart --- the lesson is that freedom triumphs over despotism, always, even "benevolent" despotism. Saddam Hussein's regime didn't even pretend to be benevolent.

Now, for Usama bin Laden. I have a theory that the US government knows all or any of the following:

1) Where bin Laden is/was hiding.
2) That bin Laden is dead.
3) The exact cave where his rotting corpse lies festering under several tons of rubble.

I base this belief on the fact that no one has come forward (that we know of) to collect the $25 million price tag on his head. Even dedicated Mujaheddin like money, you know. I season this belief with the fact that we never see bin Laden anymore, the only hints that he might still be kicking are audio and video tapes, of poor quality and dubious origin, being broadcast on Al-Jazeera, often months after the events they relate to have taken place. Usama is no longer a hero, he's a trademark --- like Colonel Sanders. We know Colonel Sanders existed once, but no one sees him anymore. He's a marketing campaign, a symbol denoting "tradition and trust". Although I can't see anyone making a rational decision to buy what he's selling. You have to be irrational to be a Muslim suicide bomber.

Do not be surprised if in the very near future (say, September perhaps) if the Presidential race between Bush and whichever neo-Socialist liar gets the democratic nomination should tighten uncomfortably if the pictures of Usama's body, or Usama himself, suddenly appear on your television screen. This ammo is being held in reserve until it is needed.

In the meantime, let's all celebrate. I have a feeling Saddam is about to be invited to a necktie party. I'll buy the beer.

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