Katrina, Part V...Saving the Helpless...
Lot's of advertisements going around now on the 'net, television and radio, to save the "most helpless victims of Hurricane Katrina". You'd be surprised to know that despite what the Roaring Reverends (Jesse and Al) have to say about the poor blacks left to die in a flooded city, there are quite a number of people, apparently, who don't consider these people the most helpless victims.

So, who are these "most helpless victims?"

The elderly? Nope. Sick children? Try again. People in comas? Not even close.

The "most helpless victims" are (hold on to your hats): animals.

You read that right. Animals. Right now I'm sitting in front of my computer and I'm being bombarded with images and e-mails asking me to contribute to animal rescue charities and such. Each entreaty usually includes a picture of a kitten or a dog swimming through the muck that covers the streets of New Orleans. As if that would sway me.

Quite frankly, some people just don't have the same sense God gave to a chihuahua. There's actual human beings, you know, of the same species as you are, who lack food, clothing and shelter (although they have all the pillaged Wal-Mart jewelry they can carry), and you're worried about a lost parakeet or a ferret?

I have three things to say to the "animals first" crowd:

1. Get serious psychiatric help. Your priorities are severely screwed up.
2. Grow the fuck up.
3. When poodles start paying taxes and voting, then they have the right to be rescued in lieu of human beings.

I'm glad to know we have a National Guard and FEMA to go around disaster areas plucking cats and parrots out of flood-devestated areas --- it's such an efficient utilization of resources. Please note the sarcasm.

I'm a dog lover myself, but if faced with the choice of saving my life and getting the aid I need to rebuild that life, and chucking Fido overboard (assuming there was no other way to save him), I guess the dog is shit out of luck.