Thursday, July 29, 2010

Stuff I Didn't Talk About Because I was Away...

A lot has happened, and here I was to NOT write anything about it. So, here's a synopsis of what I missed, and what I might have said:

1. The Arizona Immigration Thingy
So let me get this straight: the Federal Government sued the State of Arizona in order to make the following points:

a) The Executive Branch has reserved the power and right to decide NOT to enforce laws passed by the Legislative Branch ,and deemed Constitutional by the Judicial Branch, if it finds doing so to be politically troublesome.

b) That the Executive Branch, having made a decision upon which laws are to be followed and which can be chucked for political purposes, can declare that since it won't uphold the laws it is Constitutionally-required to enforce, that no one else can assume that responsibility in it's stead.

Good going!

Once again the Administration, it's naked partisanship and political tin ear evident because it has taken yet another unnecessary action that two-thirds of the country disagrees with, has finally laid to rest some of the myths about the political left that have been repeated for at least a century; These people are not evil little conspirators, playing at romantic revolutionary. They are not sublimely intellectual souls who simply see the world differently in subtler shades of grey than we mortals. They certainly aren't champions of the Common Man, fighting for his rights and freedoms, rising to the defense of personal liberties.

They're just a bunch of fucking retards. Smart people (defined as: having just enough sense not to shave your own ass with a cheese grater, and a bottle of Witch Hazel) simply don't do things like this. The amazing thing is that they're all lawyers, the President has even taught Constitutional Law, but apparently none of them has bothered to read the document in question, and if they have, they this ability to misunderstand the English Language to such an extent that I'm surprised they haven't "discovered" the right to stand in your front yard, completely nude, with three daschunds and a light bulb jammed up your ass, making Kitten Kebabs whilst saluting the swastika.

For all the Harvard, Yale and Princeton graduates in the Administration, none of them seems to be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight. The next time someone tells you the Ivy League schools are the best, you should point out to them that the Obamatards and the MBA's who ran Freddie, Fannie, Lehman Brothers, and AIG, were mostly Ivy Leaguers. That should shut them up.

2. Charlie Rangel
Good lord, Charlie: just give it up. You're caught dead to rights and still you insist that you "welcome the investigation" which will, you assume, "clear your name" as if you can actually brazen this out. The days when you could make the most asinine excuses -- "I didn't inhale", "I didn't have sex with that woman..." -- and get away with it, are long gone, Congressman. You especially can't get away with unpaid taxes in this day-in-age when half the Obama Administration didn't pay their taxes, either, and the general public is about to be taxed within an inch of their lives to pay for shit that none of them ever wanted, but you so eagerly voted for.

You're 80 years old, and frankly, the only reason to tune into these hearings is to see whether or not you have a coronary under questioning, or break a hip on your way in. Otherwise, this exercise is academic: you're guilty, you'll lie a lot and try to play games with the evidence against you, and then play the race card ( magnificent bastard! I read your book!). The only half-way plausible explanation I've heard to date about why you're going through with this came from Juan Williams, and he basically said "because you're batshit crazy". Juan seems to think that it's quite possible that, having been in Washington for 40 years, you are so steeped in graft and corruption that it's literally become your normal way of life. The very air you breathe, your food and drink, and that you may not even be aware that what you're doing is wrong.

Even more reason to toss you out on your fat ass, Chuck. Nancy is NOT going to find a way to keep you around: she wants to be re-elected, you know.

3. Senator John Kerry has a $7 Million Yacht...
...which he had custom-built in New Zealand, and moved from Massachusetts to Rhode Island, allegedly to avoid paying luxury taxes on it.

Nothing like a) making sure you Buy American, b) making sure you put some folks in Massachusetts (where I'm told they DO make some pretty spiffy luxury yachts) to work, and c) leading by example in a time of financial crisis, where the American people are bring asked to sacrifice and give Uncle Sam just a Little Bit More (Little Bit More defined as: the Lion's Share of the 50% of your income we don't already tax) to pay for all the"Change you Can Believe In"...and you don't even make a show of sharing that sacrifice. In fact, you tried to find a way to circumvent the law. I don't know who's worse: Rangel or Kerry.

And I'll bet this Asshole still lays awake at night trying to figure out just how it was that he lost to Geroge W. Bush, generally considered a blithering idiot. Here's a short list of reasons why, Senator:

a) You're a douchebag, who's only real talent is for marrying wealthy widows

b) Two words: John Edwards

c) After obtaining four draft deferments, and then volunteering for duty with a service that was not likely to see ground combat, and THEN volunteering for duty that required another 18 months just to complete training, you spent, like, five whole days in Vietnam faking diary entries, having yourself followed around by a camera crew, collecting self-inflicted gunshot wounds and writing your own commendations, just so you could start every sentence with "When I was in Vietnam..." for the next 50 years.

d) You're wife made Ted Kennedy look made him look like Cincinnattus by comparison.

Frankly, we're incredibly fortunate to have been spared the unmitigated disaster that would have been a Kerry Administration, if your personal history, choice of friends, and obvious character flaws are anything to judge by, Senator.

4. Vis-a-Vis Journolist...
Newsflash: when 400 or so egghead, douchebag, metrosexuals with access to a chatroom and a wild hair up their collective ass get together, this is what they do: complain about normal people and plot their demise, and conspire to achieve World Domination, or at least to get the Gay Discount from Netflix on Movie Night.

They'll never succeed, by the way, because they're all slackers who just like to think they're really smarter than everyone else. It's why they picked Journalism -- a dying profession -- as their career choice, after all.

I'm actually surprised that half of the exchanges published to date didn't begin with "Hey, so-and-so, what conditioner are you using this week" or "does anyone have any helpful tips on how to remove a small rodent from my bunghole without the embarrassing emergency room visit?"

It's clear these "professional" journalists behaved like a bunch of fucking 16 year-olds, which is not surprising, because the e-mails reveal that they all fucking think and write like a bunch of fucking 16 year-olds!

I understand that part of the conservative (small "c"intentional) deconstruction of the Obama Administration depends on showing that a) the press is crooked, and slants news stories in a way that tends to put conservatives in a bad light, and b) the press was in bed with the Obama Campaign, so that they can make the case that c) John McCain lost to an untested, unvetted Communist because the Press Didn't Do it's Homework and Failed The 'Merican People, because this narrative is easier for "The Base" (btw, doesn't Al'Qaeda mean "The Base", too?) to swallow than the truth;

The 'Merican people were desperate enough in November of 2008 to have elected a hobo with stinging halitosis, if one was on offer. Most people who have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot already know the Press is biased, but that's not why they chose Obama -- they chose him because they were Sick of War, because of the images and bitterness of Hurricane Katrina, because the country was in dire financial straits, because Republicans spent money like drunken sailors and defended homosexual airport Lotharios and child molesters (allegedly) making a mockery of it's "Family Values" and "Fiscally Responsible" brand labels. And the best the Republican Party could do to respond to these issues was to stand a 70+ year old Cold Warrior -- who's only claim to fame besides being a POW and getting tortured in a war that we lost -- was that he was also the man who led the biggest assault of free speech in American history (Campaign Finance Reform), has flip-flopped on immigration so often it's hard to know just which side of the fence (literally!) he's on from day-to-day, who selected a running mate so ill-prepared she couldn't even outthink Katie-goddamned-Couric --no freaking Einstein, there. Not to mention that "I'm-suspending-my-campaign-so-that-I-can-vote-against-a-bailout- I-still-wound-up-voting-for-two-days-later-anyway" stunt a week before the actual vote.

They Public didn't need the Press to help them fuck this one up; John McCain and the Republican Party made it easy for them to make a bad choice. In this light, Journolist isn't so much a tool of evil Leftards as much as it is a coffee clatch for perpetually-menstrual douchebags who could otherwise be safely ignored, and who's only power is that which you give them.

5. Alex Rodriguez and Home Run Number 600...
As I write this, I don't know whether he's hit it or not, and I really don't give a shit; Baseball's most sacred record has been tainted by cheaters and drug addicts, and now every milestone homer means absolute jack shit.

Babe Ruth is rolling over in his grave, and Hank Aaron must weep with the pain every goddamned day.

But this is NewYork City, and Alex Rodriguez is a New York Yankee. Yankee fans, incidentally, happen to be the biggest tools in this Solar System. They are insufferable, and they are remarkably fair-weather; today's walk-off home-run hero is tomorrow's trade bait because he went 0-for-4 with a strikeout the next day...and every one of them will tell you they KNEW the bum was no good five years before he made the team.

They are a breed of severely brain-damaged mouthbreathers who haven't discovered that:

a) they play in a league where pitchers don't hit. Real baseball leagues make pitchers hit.

b) they play in a stadium in which the right field fence is within spitting distance of home plate, turning every left-handed pop-up hitter into Ruth, Mantle and Maris,and turning legitimate lefty hitters into absolute gods.

The only reason the New York Yankees are making a big deal out of Alex Rodriguez and 600 is that they hope to replay the game,. and the moment, for the next 100 years on the YES Network,which is pretty much all Yankees 24/7/365.

Alex Rodriguez CHEATED. He is NOT to be celebrated.

6. BP...again...
Okay, so you finally plugged the fucking hole, and then we find out you're getting terrorists freed for"humanitarian reasons" which somehow result in BP getting major drilling contracts in Libya. Sit by the phone long enough, and Usama Bin Laden just might surrender to BP so he can spend a few years in a cushy English prison, then get released for an ingrown toenail.

Here's the solution: the Obamatards have pretty much already signed BP's death warrant, having extorted $20 billion and threatening lawsuits from now until St. Swiven's Day, so let's finish the job, shall we? Nuke Libya.

If Megrahi (the terrorist in question) only had "three months to live" according to the doctor who accepted the bribe that got him out of prison, then let's help him keep to that schedule, and while we're at it, we can make sure that BP doesn't profit, the corrupt Scottish and English government individuals/organizations that helped see this happen don't get to profit, and Moammar Khadaffy gets to see his Prophet ASAP.

Remember when Khadaffy actually went to George Bush on bended knee, begging for forgiveness and demanding the West dismantle his nuclear, biological and chemical weapons programs, and offering his oil contracts to American companies, with no requests to release convicted terrorists in return?

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