On Counting Chickens Before They Hatch...

Call it The Audacity of Golf.

I read that this morning and tried to remember just how it was that we arrived at this sorry state of affairs. When I finally did, I decided the best thing to do was to get drunk in an effort to forget, but then remembered that I don't really drink, anymore. Maybe I'll take up heroin?

President O-Blah-Blah is really not up to this job. Personally, I think he's wanted to quit for quite some time, and I thought to myself that this is what happens when you elect an inexperienced person with no real qualifications to do such an important job, and then are stupid enough to believe that he might, at least, give it the Ol' College Try.

Or at least appear to be trying.

And then I had another thought (that's three in one day! Someone make it stop!) regarding some of the navel-gazing that's going on vis-a-vis the 2012 GOP nomination, and one Marco Rubio.

If I have to listen to one more 'conservative' (by the way, they don't exist anymore) scream the name 'Marco Rubio' in a presidential context this week, I'm going to start shooting people. Marco Rubio got elected to the Senate like five minutes ago, and his instant branding as Presidential Timber reminds one of the same 'conservative' ecstasy over Senator Scott Brown two years ago. Brown turned out to be just another politician --even if he was against ObamaCare.

I mean, really, you at least squeeze the bread, smell the melon, and kick the tires before you buy stuff, right? I'll bet more people put more effort and thought into buying a new cellphone then they do into their decision to pick a President.

How about we stop anointing people this-that-or-the-other before they've proven themselves? If there's anything we should have learned over the last three years, it's that jumping on the band wagons of the Tabula Rasa class of politicians -- just because they aren't part of the Washington Establishment -- sometimes just doesn't work, no matter how good it sounds? That's how we got Barry Soetoro, the Great (half-) White Dope, after all.

Just ask Ambassador John Bolton, who should be someone's Secretary of State one day, about what happens when your current Secretary of State is, like her boss, without the right experience and temperament for the job at hand. Being able to roll over and ask Bill for advice (assuming he isn't already sharing his bed with something with a barely-discernible pulse and room-temperature IQ) is not a qualification for anything, either.

If Barack Hussein Odouchebag has proven anything it's that when you elect your leadership based on the Cult of Personality rather than upon solid qualifications, you end up with a lot more to complain about and your quality of life simply shrinks under the oppressive cloud of stupidity and apathy.

Was there really anything in B.O..'s past that led you to believe he was going to fix the national economy? Was there anything there to instill confidence in his leadership skills? Did he display an extraordinary grasp of the truths of the modern world? Or were you simply desperate enough that anyone who had no discernible connection to what had gone on before in the previous two decades of American political life seemed that much a better choice? Even if he had spent a whole year-and-a-half voting "Present' on the great issues of the day, and had a Walking Menstrual Cycle of a wife (who probably gives him his orders) you'd like to feed to the wild boars one piece at a time?

Granted, the alternatives weren't all that much to write home about, either. Here were your choices in 2008:

A) Aging Cold-Warrior-Fence-Straddler with the Sexy Poster Girl for Pro Choice Governor (before she quit) of a State with More Polar Bears than People in tow. John McCain couldn't find his own ass with both hands, on a good day, and Sarah Palin finally found hers when Katie Couric and Charles Gibson (no shining lights, themselves) handed it to her on national television.

B) Carpetbagging, media-proclaimed Smartest Woman in the World who somehow didn't know her husband was screwing everything within range of his crotch, and the rancid smell of corruption clinging to every business venture in her life A woman who was so unacquainted with truth and candor that she felt compelled to invent an easily-disprovable yarn about how her parents came to decide her name?

By the way, on the subject of Hillary, Chris Matthews is getting all tingly again. My, how fickle that man can be.

That's what we had to choose from, so I guess I can see why Obama was, in retrospect, so attractive to so many dingbats. I guess they'd figure he'd grow into the job, but it's apparent that now that he has it, he doesn't want it anymore. Being President is hard work and people expect you to, you know, do stuff.

So don't give me the Marco Rubio/Paul Ryan/Eric Cantor bullshit. Those guys are in the same boat; they talk a good game, but what have they actually done, and in those achievements, can you show me something that is even remotely a qualification for POTUS? Give that crowd some more time to season -- and us more time to figure out who and what they are -- before you start putting them on national ballots.

Otherwise, you end up with a President who leaves the business of governing to the Senate and House leadership (and we see how well that's worked out), or to a bewildering array of non-elected Unknowns, and then goes on vacation every time there's an oil spill, natural disaster, war, revolution, economic emergency, or when the wife decides it's time they went to a sunny beach someplace, and took 1,000 sycophants along for the ride.

I do a lot of Obama bashing here, I admit, and I know some readers get upset over it. I want you to know that it isn't because I think Barack Obama is a bad man, it's because he's an extremely ineffectual President. I wasn't happy when he was elected, but I thought it was at least a shining moment for America, and the man had enough trouble heaped upon his plate to at least be given the benefit of the doubt. He lost that benefit the day the word ObamaCare entered the lexicon, which was like, four days after the inauguration.

It took 16 months to eventually pass that legislation, and it's been a year since it has passed, and still, no one can explain it. Fiscal year 2010 went by without a budget bill for 2011, and I'm still waiting to hear if there's going to be one coming from the White House for 2012. The national debt has nearly tripled. Unemployment is still over 10%, regardless of what the media tells you. We're still in two wars, and now have taken on a third in Libya. And I can't recall a single accomplishment of the Obama Administration since ObamaCare (a dubious one) that is actually worth a bucket of warm spit.

Gays can serve openly in the military? Yay.

A trillion-dollar stimulus which has turned out to largely be a waste of money? I'm astounded.

Naming over-budget, barley-used train stations after Joe Biden? Stop! I can't take no more!

Filing a lawsuit against BP in the teeth of one of the greatest industrial disasters in recent memory? Pure genius!

A Michelle Obama diet plan for the nation's chubby youth? My, our cups runneth over.

This is why you have to carefully weigh whether or not your candidates are truly up to the task of governing, and shouldn't be so easily seduced by the mere appearance of leadership without anything to suggest even the substance of it.

Why The Office of President of the United States Isn't an On-the-Job-Training Exercise...

Barack Obama is a badly-flawed man. When I say that I don't mean to imply that he's an evil person who stomps puppies and raises kittens for their meat and hides. I'm certain that on a personal level, he's rather an amiable gentleman, and by all appearances is an excellent husband and father. He just isn't smart enough to know what he doesn't know, and doesn't really know what he claims he does, and never seems capable of getting the proper help when he needs it, or to be even capable of recognizing when he needs that help.

Look about you. Does it look like someone who knows what he's doing is in charge? Do you feel that your political leaders grasp the reality of your life and the world around us?

When this country is facing economic crisis, exploding unemployment and is teetering on insolvency, Barack Obama spends his time devising federal giveaways disguised as "Stimulus"; Cash-for-Clunkers, Mortgage-Renegotiation Schemes, Green Energy boondoggles, a Healthcare program that somehow puts 30 million deadbeats into the insurance/health systems without raising costs, spouts the usual claptrap about "Education", fosters a Soak-the-Rich , anti-business, anti-growth mentality, recycles liberal (small 'l'' intentional) boilerplate policy that has been historically-proven to be about as useful and efficacious as mammary glands on a bull.

He turned the business of governing over to a cabal of Rahm Emanuel, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and what they wrought was too terrible to contemplate -- a harbinger of the collapse of the federalist system, an assault upon the personal liberties of the individual -- and Obama spent 15 months polishing that turd, trying to convince you that a series of programs that even he couldn't adequately explain were somehow manna from Heaven.

He couldn't explain any of it because he didn't understand it, either, mostly because he had nothing to do with it, of course. Why do you think Nancy Pelosi had to resort to extra-constitutional means to get Obamacare passed, and Harry Reid had to bribe Senators (members of hi sown party, no less!) to make it a reality?

When the Gulf of Mexico was poisoned by BP, and millions had their livelihoods destroyed by an uncontrolled gusher of crude oil, Obama went on vacation. But he did, at least, file a lawsuit, bless his heart.

When the nation is at war with Radical Islam, Candidate Obama announces that it's a war we cannot win (The Surge has Failed, Guantanamo Bay is an affront to the concept of Human Rights, referring to terrorism as a "Man-Made Disaster", etc.), and makes various pronouncements calling GWB, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, et. al., War Criminals, Obama goes to Cairo and makes a speech apologizing for America defending itself while Al'Qeda expands into Yemen and Somalia, home-grown Jihadis shoot up Army bases, attempt to blow up Times Square, and try to bring down airliners with TNT boxer shorts. President Obama then repeats and extends the very Bush-era policies he previously decried, and then pretends as if he's still -- somehow -- on the higher moral ground that his predecessors could never occupy.

When the country needs firms, committed, reasoned leadership, Obama reminds us that he's a multi-and-post-racial Messianic figure who should be worshiped and obeyed, rather than held accountable for his actions, or lack thereof. If you criticize him, you're racist. If you disagree with him, you're a Redneck-Bible-thumping-Gun-Clinger. If you point out the glaring disconnect between his rhetoric and reality, you are accused of wanting to "turn the clock back to when the Republicans drove the car into the ditch".

At a time when economic recovery should be the paramount concern of the political establishment, Obama instead ordains newer restrictions on commerce. He imposes new taxes. He nationalizes the automobile industry, attempts to do the same to the healtchcare industry, bullies the banks, and sticks his cronies on a myriad of economic advisory boards.

He wags his fingers at Corporate America for their unbridled greed, their lavish, expensive trips to, and conventions in, Las Vegas, and then jets himself and the Missus on taxpayer-funded "date nights" to see Broadway shows and the best resorts, or plays golf on the best courses in America on a regular basis, or takes 10 vacations in the span of 12 weeks. He sends his wife on a junket to Spain that requires several hundred hotel rooms. He travels to India with an entourage of thousands.

When clarity of purpose and intent is necessary, when people need to be held accountable for the mistakes that were made which put the country in the dire straits it finds itself in, Obama creates a myriad of "czars" who's purposes are nebulous, and who aren't accountable to anyone...except him.

These are either the actions of a man who is determined to implement a New System which is certainly un-American...or they are the scattershot, clueless, hard-headed stupidity of someone who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, and has even less of an idea of how to do even that much.

I would tend to believe it to be the latter, rather than the former. Being a"community organizer" and a temporary, half-term Senator, who never held a private sector job in his life, and was probably patted on the back, unduly lauded, and socially-promoted for being"special" without having to distinguish himself in any meaningful way, doesn't exactly prepare one for the job of President of the United States.

Barack Obama is making it all up as he goes along. He's a second-rate actor playing a part.

And if you needed even more proof that Barack Obama, the President-of-last-Resort, was totally unprepared for this job, and is unequal to the task of performing it at even a satisfactory level, we see all of his shortcomings and lack of experience manifested in the response to the crisis in Egypt.

You didn't need me to tell you this if you have eyes in your head and at least three working brain cells, but it bears repeating every day. If you don't believe me, just ask Professor Hanson. He's smarter than I am, you know.

I don't think Barack Obama is a bad man. Just a very bad President.

Obama Will Probably Take Credit for This, Too...

Gulf of Mexico fisheries recover nicely after Oil Spill.

You may drive Nature out with a Pitchfork, and She will return with a vengeance. Yet more proof that Greens are assholes without a clue.

I fully expect Il Doofay (i.e Resident Obambi) to grandly proclaim that "the tough action taken by my Administration" in the wake of this disaster has brought about this unexpected state of affairs.

Stuff I Didn't Talk About Because I was Away...

A lot has happened, and here I was to NOT write anything about it. So, here's a synopsis of what I missed, and what I might have said:

1. The Arizona Immigration Thingy
So let me get this straight: the Federal Government sued the State of Arizona in order to make the following points:

a) The Executive Branch has reserved the power and right to decide NOT to enforce laws passed by the Legislative Branch ,and deemed Constitutional by the Judicial Branch, if it finds doing so to be politically troublesome.

b) That the Executive Branch, having made a decision upon which laws are to be followed and which can be chucked for political purposes, can declare that since it won't uphold the laws it is Constitutionally-required to enforce, that no one else can assume that responsibility in it's stead.

Good going!

Once again the Administration, it's naked partisanship and political tin ear evident because it has taken yet another unnecessary action that two-thirds of the country disagrees with, has finally laid to rest some of the myths about the political left that have been repeated for at least a century; These people are not evil little conspirators, playing at romantic revolutionary. They are not sublimely intellectual souls who simply see the world differently in subtler shades of grey than we mortals. They certainly aren't champions of the Common Man, fighting for his rights and freedoms, rising to the defense of personal liberties.

They're just a bunch of fucking retards. Smart people (defined as: having just enough sense not to shave your own ass with a cheese grater, and a bottle of Witch Hazel) simply don't do things like this. The amazing thing is that they're all lawyers, the President has even taught Constitutional Law, but apparently none of them has bothered to read the document in question, and if they have, they this ability to misunderstand the English Language to such an extent that I'm surprised they haven't "discovered" the right to stand in your front yard, completely nude, with three daschunds and a light bulb jammed up your ass, making Kitten Kebabs whilst saluting the swastika.

For all the Harvard, Yale and Princeton graduates in the Administration, none of them seems to be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight. The next time someone tells you the Ivy League schools are the best, you should point out to them that the Obamatards and the MBA's who ran Freddie, Fannie, Lehman Brothers, and AIG, were mostly Ivy Leaguers. That should shut them up.

2. Charlie Rangel
Good lord, Charlie: just give it up. You're caught dead to rights and still you insist that you "welcome the investigation" which will, you assume, "clear your name" as if you can actually brazen this out. The days when you could make the most asinine excuses -- "I didn't inhale", "I didn't have sex with that woman..." -- and get away with it, are long gone, Congressman. You especially can't get away with unpaid taxes in this day-in-age when half the Obama Administration didn't pay their taxes, either, and the general public is about to be taxed within an inch of their lives to pay for shit that none of them ever wanted, but you so eagerly voted for.

You're 80 years old, and frankly, the only reason to tune into these hearings is to see whether or not you have a coronary under questioning, or break a hip on your way in. Otherwise, this exercise is academic: you're guilty, you'll lie a lot and try to play games with the evidence against you, and then play the race card (...you magnificent bastard! I read your book!). The only half-way plausible explanation I've heard to date about why you're going through with this came from Juan Williams, and he basically said "because you're batshit crazy". Juan seems to think that it's quite possible that, having been in Washington for 40 years, you are so steeped in graft and corruption that it's literally become your normal way of life. The very air you breathe, your food and drink, and that you may not even be aware that what you're doing is wrong.

Even more reason to toss you out on your fat ass, Chuck. Nancy is NOT going to find a way to keep you around: she wants to be re-elected, you know.

3. Senator John Kerry has a $7 Million Yacht...
...which he had custom-built in New Zealand, and moved from Massachusetts to Rhode Island, allegedly to avoid paying luxury taxes on it.

Nothing like a) making sure you Buy American, b) making sure you put some folks in Massachusetts (where I'm told they DO make some pretty spiffy luxury yachts) to work, and c) leading by example in a time of financial crisis, where the American people are bring asked to sacrifice and give Uncle Sam just a Little Bit More (Little Bit More defined as: the Lion's Share of the 50% of your income we don't already tax) to pay for all the"Change you Can Believe In"...and you don't even make a show of sharing that sacrifice. In fact, you tried to find a way to circumvent the law. I don't know who's worse: Rangel or Kerry.

And I'll bet this Asshole still lays awake at night trying to figure out just how it was that he lost to Geroge W. Bush, generally considered a blithering idiot. Here's a short list of reasons why, Senator:

a) You're a douchebag, who's only real talent is for marrying wealthy widows

b) Two words: John Edwards

c) After obtaining four draft deferments, and then volunteering for duty with a service that was not likely to see ground combat, and THEN volunteering for duty that required another 18 months just to complete training, you spent, like, five whole days in Vietnam faking diary entries, having yourself followed around by a camera crew, collecting self-inflicted gunshot wounds and writing your own commendations, just so you could start every sentence with "When I was in Vietnam..." for the next 50 years.

d) You're wife made Ted Kennedy look sober....you made him look like Cincinnattus by comparison.

Frankly, we're incredibly fortunate to have been spared the unmitigated disaster that would have been a Kerry Administration, if your personal history, choice of friends, and obvious character flaws are anything to judge by, Senator.

4. Vis-a-Vis Journolist...
Newsflash: when 400 or so egghead, douchebag, metrosexuals with access to a chatroom and a wild hair up their collective ass get together, this is what they do: complain about normal people and plot their demise, and conspire to achieve World Domination, or at least to get the Gay Discount from Netflix on Movie Night.

They'll never succeed, by the way, because they're all slackers who just like to think they're really smarter than everyone else. It's why they picked Journalism -- a dying profession -- as their career choice, after all.

I'm actually surprised that half of the exchanges published to date didn't begin with "Hey, so-and-so, what conditioner are you using this week" or "does anyone have any helpful tips on how to remove a small rodent from my bunghole without the embarrassing emergency room visit?"

It's clear these "professional" journalists behaved like a bunch of fucking 16 year-olds, which is not surprising, because the e-mails reveal that they all fucking think and write like a bunch of fucking 16 year-olds!

I understand that part of the conservative (small "c"intentional) deconstruction of the Obama Administration depends on showing that a) the press is crooked, and slants news stories in a way that tends to put conservatives in a bad light, and b) the press was in bed with the Obama Campaign, so that they can make the case that c) John McCain lost to an untested, unvetted Communist because the Press Didn't Do it's Homework and Failed The 'Merican People, because this narrative is easier for "The Base" (btw, doesn't Al'Qaeda mean "The Base", too?) to swallow than the truth;

The 'Merican people were desperate enough in November of 2008 to have elected a hobo with stinging halitosis, if one was on offer. Most people who have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot already know the Press is biased, but that's not why they chose Obama -- they chose him because they were Sick of War, because of the images and bitterness of Hurricane Katrina, because the country was in dire financial straits, because Republicans spent money like drunken sailors and defended homosexual airport Lotharios and child molesters (allegedly) making a mockery of it's "Family Values" and "Fiscally Responsible" brand labels. And the best the Republican Party could do to respond to these issues was to stand a 70+ year old Cold Warrior -- who's only claim to fame besides being a POW and getting tortured in a war that we lost -- was that he was also the man who led the biggest assault of free speech in American history (Campaign Finance Reform), has flip-flopped on immigration so often it's hard to know just which side of the fence (literally!) he's on from day-to-day, who selected a running mate so ill-prepared she couldn't even outthink Katie-goddamned-Couric --no freaking Einstein, there. Not to mention that "I'm-suspending-my-campaign-so-that-I-can-vote-against-a-bailout- I-still-wound-up-voting-for-two-days-later-anyway" stunt a week before the actual vote.

They Public didn't need the Press to help them fuck this one up; John McCain and the Republican Party made it easy for them to make a bad choice. In this light, Journolist isn't so much a tool of evil Leftards as much as it is a coffee clatch for perpetually-menstrual douchebags who could otherwise be safely ignored, and who's only power is that which you give them.

5. Alex Rodriguez and Home Run Number 600...
As I write this, I don't know whether he's hit it or not, and I really don't give a shit; Baseball's most sacred record has been tainted by cheaters and drug addicts, and now every milestone homer means absolute jack shit.

Babe Ruth is rolling over in his grave, and Hank Aaron must weep with the pain every goddamned day.

But this is NewYork City, and Alex Rodriguez is a New York Yankee. Yankee fans, incidentally, happen to be the biggest tools in this Solar System. They are insufferable, and they are remarkably fair-weather; today's walk-off home-run hero is tomorrow's trade bait because he went 0-for-4 with a strikeout the next day...and every one of them will tell you they KNEW the bum was no good five years before he made the team.

They are a breed of severely brain-damaged mouthbreathers who haven't discovered that:

a) they play in a league where pitchers don't hit. Real baseball leagues make pitchers hit.

b) they play in a stadium in which the right field fence is within spitting distance of home plate, turning every left-handed pop-up hitter into Ruth, Mantle and Maris,and turning legitimate lefty hitters into absolute gods.

The only reason the New York Yankees are making a big deal out of Alex Rodriguez and 600 is that they hope to replay the game,. and the moment, for the next 100 years on the YES Network,which is pretty much all Yankees 24/7/365.

Alex Rodriguez CHEATED. He is NOT to be celebrated.

6. BP...again...
Okay, so you finally plugged the fucking hole, and then we find out you're getting terrorists freed for"humanitarian reasons" which somehow result in BP getting major drilling contracts in Libya. Sit by the phone long enough, and Usama Bin Laden just might surrender to BP so he can spend a few years in a cushy English prison, then get released for an ingrown toenail.

Here's the solution: the Obamatards have pretty much already signed BP's death warrant, having extorted $20 billion and threatening lawsuits from now until St. Swiven's Day, so let's finish the job, shall we? Nuke Libya.

If Megrahi (the terrorist in question) only had "three months to live" according to the doctor who accepted the bribe that got him out of prison, then let's help him keep to that schedule, and while we're at it, we can make sure that BP doesn't profit, the corrupt Scottish and English government individuals/organizations that helped see this happen don't get to profit, and Moammar Khadaffy gets to see his Prophet ASAP.

Remember when Khadaffy actually went to George Bush on bended knee, begging for forgiveness and demanding the West dismantle his nuclear, biological and chemical weapons programs, and offering his oil contracts to American companies, with no requests to release convicted terrorists in return?

This Just In: Dem Doofus Says "Maybe That Whole Messiah Thing Was a Bit Much..."

You can almost stop reading this after the opening sentence...

"President Obama is suffering from expectations set too high by the historic presidential election of 2008, one of his closest allies in the Senate said Thursday."

...because what's sure to follow is a cavalcade of bullshit that'll have you reaching for a shovel in no time flat. Like this pearl of wisdom:

"The bar for change was set inordinately high by the tone of the presidential campaign..."

That's what you get when you claim to be able to "fundamentally" transform everything and have the power to command the seas to stop rising. In fact, the greatest irony here is that the man who boasted that his elevation to the Presidency was the moment when Planet Earth would begin to heal, it's the Sea, The Gulf of Mexico, specifically, which made it apparent to those last few who hadn't recognized it before just how incompetent, how delusional, how unprepared, how lazy, and how stupid this man really is.

If you want to say something positive about Obama, you can at least give him credit for not claiming to be able to turn water into wine. Guess that one was already taken.

More stunning is that now that Barack Obama's unfitness for the Presidency has belatedly been discovered by his own party, it's not a moment for truthful reflection on their part, nor an opportunity in which to absorb a painful lesson which might cause democrats to re-evaluate their approach to governance and campaigning; it's simply a time to utter excuses without the merest hint of sincerity which leave you with the impression that many, McCaskill for certain, still think everything went just fine-and-dandy, but the Peasantry is simply too stupid to see it the same way.

Barack Obama didn't fail because Barack Obama was never more than a marketing scheme who gave great (written-by-someone-else) speech; He failed because the Great Unwashed Masses thought they were getting a Messiah instead of an Autocrat. Stupid voters! Wherever did they get that impression..?

And not to forget to harp upon a democratic party oldie-but-goodie, the brain-damaged Senator then adds this gem:

She also said Republicans had done a "very good job" in attacking Democrats by portraying them as a party of "big government."

Why, it's almost as if she's implying that republicans just might not be telling the truth, ObamaCare-Financial Reform-Takeovers of GM and Chrysler-controlling stake in AIG-Suing Arizona for Enforcing Federal Law-$787 Billion in useless Stimulus-Trillion-dollar deficits as far as the Eye Can See are all completely misunderstood benefits of government that us Mouthbreathers, easily led astray by Talk Radio and the Intertoobies, just fail to grasp.

I couldn't read any more after that, because I almost puked when I realized that this woman is a U.S. Fucking Senator, and she hasn't the same sense that evolution gave a chimpanzee. She's either so incredibly dense as to not see reality, or she knows she's talking out of her ass and doesn't give a Tinker's Turd. Either way, it shows you who is "in charge" of our country, and at the time when we need people to"take charge", all we have are stupid shameless liars, and those who proclaim their power over the forces of Nature -- and then find excuses to play golf when they're asked to live up to the hype.

If you needed yet more evidence that we're being led by clueless, disconnected aliens who couldn't find their own asses with both hands and a road map, try this on for size.

The Dimwits are going to have their asses handed to them in November, and they know it. There is nothing they can do, except to begin to propagate The Legend which will serve them well in their Self-Imposed Exile in the Politcal Wilderness. A new Generation of democratic (small 'd' intentional) die-hards will be sustained and nurtured by their own Mythology -- no one really understood that ObamaCare was truly good for them, Republicans Lied to the People, The Economy Would Have Recovered if it Hadn't Been for Rush Limbaugh, BP Spoiled Everything! -- ready to emerge at the time when the Republicans finally screw the pooch in their turn, and dems will rise from the wreckage ready to battle for the Future of America ....by presenting a Revisionist version of the Past.

It's what they always do. The process is just starting a little earlier, this time.

How Would You Fix It? Part II

My apologies for posting this several days late: Life intruded, as if often does, and I had no time for blogging.

Here are some observations about four new subjects, Race Relations, Energy, the Two-party system, and the BP Oil Spill. I hope to explain my extreme and diseased views on these subjects, and then tell you what I think should be done about them by We The Citizens, because depending upon government to solve these issues is sort of like asking your Golden Retriever to do your taxes -- he might by pure chance get it right, but he's far more likely to slobber and drool, and leave muddy paw prints upon the forms, if he hasn't already used them to take a dump on.

As to how We The Citizens are to affect these changes is something I cannot tell you. I've thought about the how, but then I realize that actually making these changes would require the entire culture be uprooted and replaced. We live in a modern culture which rewards the stupid and the lazy, mostly because it has been created BY the stupid and the lazy, for the benefit of other stupid and lazy people. While there are brilliant and innovative minds at work in America (despite the best efforts of Barack Obama to drive them out of the country), they increasingly turn their talents towards making life easier, without making it any more tolerable; you can get an iPhone app to figure out your four-way lunch bill in a restaurant, saving you the trouble of learning math. You can take a pill to control your cholesterol, cure your vaginal dryness, or lose weight without having to make drastic "lifestyle changes". The Digital Revolution makes for better communications and more efficient use and exchange of information, but no one seems to get any smarter, or to even listen to one another, anymore.

The only solution that I can imagine which might start to affect the cultural change we require is by that of personal example (if only because a carefully-planned program of street executions might not go over so well). If ONE person changes the way he or she lives and the choices they make, then perhaps someone else will see them do it, and likewise make the same changes. That's a very long shot, indeed, but it's better than the alternatives (depending on government, or Oprah).

Without further ado;

A) Race Relations
1. Slavery was abolished a long time ago. Jim Crow is dead. There have been Civil Rights Acts, Voting Rights Acts, Welfare Statism and Affirmative Action up the wazoo. If African-Americans still feel they haven't progressed (despite the evidence to the contrary), then we're probably no longer dealing with the lingering effects of victimization and "institutional Racism", and are more likely dealing with a mental illness, and a reflexive habit. The next time I hear an African-American scream "Racism!" I'm giving him the number of a really good psychiatrist. I'm tired of being made to feel guilty (doesn't work anymore!) and being made to pay for something I did not do and which is now well-and-truly in the past, and now which only serves as a poor excuse for the worst of behavior. I say to African-Americans: it's the 21st Century, come to the front of the bus -- and stand with the rest of us.

2. There is an entire generation of "Civil Rights Leaders" and countless organizations who constantly beat the "Racism" drum because it's been made economically- and politically-rewarding for them to do so. The truth is that Jesse, Rev. Al, and Rev. Wright have not changed a single thing for the better for anyone -- let alone their own race -- for over 40 years. At what point, do you think, someone will have the balls to stand up and say "Hey, this doesn't work. Can we try something else?". Even the NAACP, where one of those A's supposedly stands for "Advancement", is still attached to the rhetoric and "solutions" of years gone by. "Solutions", incidentally, which have only deepened the psychosis of a people who have apparently been taught that the answer to every problem in life is to hold your hand out and demand something you haven't earned -- or you'll pitch a riot.

3. The election of Barack Obama at first appeared to be a sign that America was finally beyond race; Americans had finally elected a (half-) black man to the highest office in the land. In hindsight this now appears not to have been an exercise in fairness and equality, but an act of desperation. The future was bleak in November of 2008, and the only other choices were a man who might not know what day of the week it was, and a modern-day Mussolini in a Black Panstuit encumbered by a horndog husband who would fuck a catcher's mitt, if it held still long enough, and the Secret Service could keep it a secret. That desperation gave us a President who was thoroughly unprepared, lacking common sense or knowledge of how the government actually works, a background sufficiently muddled so that even he can't explain it, and who somehow managed to graduate Harvard with a degree in Constitutional Law without apparently ever having read that document. In office, President Obama seems more interested in playing golf and enjoying the perks of office, rather than in actually doing the job for which he was hired, and when he actually does it, the results are about what you would expect from a brain-damaged four year old working with a hammer and a chainsaw.

In effect, Barack Obama has become the visible symbol of every negative stereotype that Whites ever held about blacks; He's an unqualified Affirmative-Action Baby who never held a real job in his life and who won't do this one, if he can avoid it. However, he has no trouble picking up a paycheck for as long as he can decently get away with it, all the while being paid the back-handed compliment of "he speaks so well...." from the upper crust of Libtard hypocrites. To hear Obama speak now -- far from the days when people were probably paid to faint at his speeches for dramatic effect -- all you can now hear is the constant repetition of a single theme -- "It's All Whitey's fault" -- in which George W. Bush, Wall Street, British Petroleum, the Republican Party, Religious people, Gun Owners, Law-and-Order conservatives and Immigration reformers all stand for "Whitey". Now you know just what effect Rev. Wright had on the man who sat in the pew for 20 years but mysteriously didn't hear nuffin'.

If Barack Obama survives his term in office (and by that I mean avoids impeachment, the ravages of hypertension, and the synapse-crushing banality of Joe Biden) he will probably have done more to set race relations back than any other individual now alive. He may be the first (half-) black President of the United States -- but he may also very well be the last one forever. Just remember that when it comes time for African-Americans to complain (due again in about 15 minutes) that "We never got a chance". These problems didn't appear overnight, and Obama knew there were two wars and an economic crisis when he lobbied for the job claiming to have all the answers, so he can't complain now. And neither can African-Americans who wanted a Savior but are forced to support a Scoundrel solely on the basis of a racial affinity system that they constructed themselves.

4. Instead of selecting Barack Obama as your hero and life-example, you might want to re-consider the example of Gansta Rappers -- stripped of the veneer of their"music" and "art"; unlike the President, these guys at least understand economics and Capitalism better than most Ivy-League educated Economists, obviously work hard to build their little empires, and are probably smart enough, in their own ways, to have been anything they desired had they not chosen "rapper" as a career path. Even if they have made their fortunes selling cultural poison, they were at least honest about their motives: Dollah-Dollah, biotch!

5. To All my Mexican "Amigos" (the ones leading the unwanted invasion); we Gringos don't owe you anything either, and the Southwest isn't "your" country anymore. While the Southwest USED to be your country, you lost it. You lost it because Mexicans couldn't make it economically viable, and so you had to import Gringos -- Gringos with a history of fighting for liberty, the rule of law, and personal notions about individual rights and the prerogatives/limitations of government -- to do it for you. You mistreated them, and so they did what came naturally to them; they revolted. You lost the War. Your leaders bankrupted your country in the process, and the territory they didn't lose in War, they sold off to cover their debts. To Us Gringos. Get over it. Your country is still economically moribund, and you still live in it and we don't, so try to figure out if there's a common theme there. We're not "stealing" from or "oppressing" you. Accept this basic truth, and you'll no longer be laboring under the delusion that you're magically entitled to something for nothing, and you might be motivated to make your own home a better place.

6. Mexico is a shithole because Mexicans made it so, not Yanquis. Mexicans accept corrupt government, massive criminal activity, and a "manana" culture. They do not value education, the rule of law, and use every convenient vertical surface as a toilet (like the landscaper I caught pissing in my neighbor's hedges this past week, and the "immigrant" children who play pissing games in the streets around here). While many pro-Illegal Immigration advocates raise the battle cry "They're only here for a better life!", left unanswered is the question "Then why don't they create one for themselves in their own country?". If there's "tension" between Whites and Hispanics, it's because Hispanics have brought that lack of values (and sanitation) to America with them, and then have the cojones to demand that we accept it. Remember: you're not "Doing Jobs Americans Won't Do", you're "Doing Jobs Americans Won't Do Because They Suck, Pay Badly, and Don't Come With a Dental Plan", so who's really benefiting? I wonder what we'll do with 12 million parasites in the future when lettuce gets picked by machines, the MLS finally shuts down, and the really smart people switch to rock gardens, and home-grown vegetables.

B) Energy Policy
1. It's time to go nuclear, baby, and not just on Iran. All the "No Nukes" faggots who ran around in the 70's and 80's, who helped to kill a more widespread nuclear power industry in this country, are probably the same deranged idiots who run around screaming about that Global Warming/Freezing/Flooding nonsense. The irony here is that by resisting the push for nuclear energy, you probably condemned Mother Gaia to another several decades of nasty pollution. Not only that, now that we're at a point in history where a change must be made (but not for the reasons you want it to be), if there ever IS a move to increase the number of nuclear power plants in this country we'll be several decades behind in terms of technology, efficiency and expected costs. Good going, Douchebags! Until the "Green Movement" is purged of it's sanctimonious-and-clueless Watermelon Faction (Green on the outside, Red on the Inside, All-wet-and-slightly-slimy-throughout), or they're all beaten into deep comas, we'll never have a better answer to the problems of Energy Independence and pollution, because every solution offered will never be good enough to appease these absolutist assholes. They are the modern-day equivalent of Calvinists.

By the way, morons, in case no one told you; Carbon Dioxide is a gas which is essential to the continuance of Life on this planet. If you try to artificially restrict it or prevent it from being generated, you will be killing billions of your fellow creatures -- especially the one's you're always trying to "save".

2. Alternative fuels and sources simply must be found. Current "Green" alternatives (wind, solar, ethanol, etc) are merely stopgaps, or at best, adjuncts. None is capable of becoming a dominant source of energy like fossil fuels, simply because these forms cannot generate the sort of power we demand as efficiently or as inexpensively. It is up to the Public to advocate for serious investment in viable alternatives by putting their money where their mouths are, as it were, with their investment dollars, their votes, and by pushing Energy companies to respond to the needs of a changing marketplace and attitudes (that will never be allowed, because that would be, like, The People exercising their freedoms!), without giving into the more ridiculous demands of the "Save the Earth, Kill All the People" fringe of Tree Huggers.

3. Until such time as an alternative to fossil fuels is found, it is necessary to increase domestic production of oil, coal, and natural gas. Fuck the caribou in ANWAR; they don't pay taxes. Fuck the fish, they don't vote; let's gets some more hydroelectric dams up and running. Coal is cheap, and can be burned cleaner than ever before, by a process that is probably cleaner than most people's bathrooms. Natural gas is so abundant that it's amazing that there aren't gas-powered television sets already, We can even siphon the methane out of the Everglades and garbage dumps. We'll need to have a "carry-over" period between when energy is created in abundance by alternative means, and when the Internal Combustion engine goes the way of Teddy Kennedy, and we already have a great deal of what we'll need right here at home. Make use of it.

4. What's wrong with this scenario: America's best minds are fully capable of inventing drugs that give old men erections that no woman in her right mind wants any part of, but the same minds seem incapable of solving the problems associated with energy? People who will complain loudly about $3 gasoline, and consider it a grave economic burden, apparently have no issue with the $25 dollar-a-pop hard-on, so I guess that's where the money goes, and so, naturally, that's where all the talent and brainpower goes, too. Priorities, on both sides of the equation, are seriously skewed.

C) The Two-Party System
1. One party robs from the Rich to Give to the Poor, and considers it an act of "fundamental fairness". The other Robs from The Rich to Give to the Rich-er, and calls it a "Free-Market Economic system". Neither actually believes what they say, for if they did, their policies would not have produced the results they have; two sub-populations of dependants -- one lining up for government cheese, and the other for Corporate welfare, at the expense of those in the Middle, the very backbone of the American Economy. Once this premise is accepted, it becomes so much easier to understand why the Tea Party exists and has become a popular, and electorally-viable alternative, in such a short time.

2. Social Utopianism based upon redistribution of wealth, only redistributes poverty. The class of "The Rich", gets defined ever more expansively, and the scope of the redistribution widens and deepens, sucking all the ambition and creative energy out of life. I guess this is why the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party can claim that it's best equipped to "fight for the poor" ; it certainly knows how to make them poor. The sooner the democratic party is brought kicking-and-screaming into the 21st Century by a thorough purging of it's extreme, Pink left, the better to disabuse it of it's 19th Century ideas. That can only be accomplished at the ballot box.

3. Most aspects of Conservatism are approaching the symptoms of mental disease in which it's greatest advocates seem to remember a "Golden Age", which never really existed in quite the way they remember, or rather choose, to remember it. Those that believe in this premise are caught between two antithetical ideas: a) there can be technical progress, and a general increase in living standards, without a corresponding change in social mores, and b) that time travel is possible -- but only into The Past. The sooner the Republican party is dragged kicking-and-screaming into the 21st Century, and out of the 1500''s, the better. The sooner the Republican party stops looking for "The Next Reagan" and concentrates instead on "The First Man with A Grasp of Our Current Realities", it would be even better. This, too, can only be accomplished at the ballot box.

4. Though both parties claim to abhor "Special Interests" neither is anything BUT a coalition of Special Interests. The Libtard party is a coalition of narrow, self-interested groups (Gays, Women, Blacks, Labor, Abortion Chicks, etc), and so is the Fuddy-Duddy Party (Religious bigots, The Machine-Guns-and-RPG's-For-Everybody-Crowd, Small Business owners, The Law-and-Order-at-all-costs zealots, those who can remember when Cowboys slaughtering Redskins on TV was considered "Wholesome Family Entertainment"). Both parties accept scads of money from entities that are often diametrically-opposed to what they claim to stand for; Wall Street funds democrats, those who hire illegal immigrants against the law support the party of Values. The Media supports the party that would destroy it's Independence and profitability in a heartbeat, while advocates for Free Markets support the party that does everything in it's power to ensure that markets are neither free, nor fair, and creates an atmosphere where outright theft is allowed because enforcing the law is "bad for business.".

One party holds itself out as the defender of Working Families while it plunders their wallets to support the Non-Working Families, and the other claims to be a paragon of Family Values and Fiscal Responsibility while it's members solicit gay sex in airport bathrooms, grope the Congressional Pages, cheat on their wives, and vote to pump taxpayer money into failing companies in order to "save the American economy". Seems to me that if you want to save anything, you don't throw money at failure, either the corporate or the social kind, and especially not the political kind. The sooner we hold both parties to their rhetoric by paying attention to their actions, the more accountability and honesty we'll get from these dimwits, because they certainly understand the meaning of "Unemployment Line" -- they've only combined forces to send 8 million people there in the last two years.

5. Campaign Finance Reform MUST be repealed, as it protects incumbents and makes it near-impossible to challenge the status-quo in our politics. Many good people, perhaps people with actual talent and ideas, are being artificially kept out of public service by CFR, the better for Senator Asshole and Congressman Dingleberry to keep eating at the public trough, and to reward/punish their political allies/foes with taxpayer-funded goodies. The sooner we get rid of CFR, the sooner we can get some new blood and new ideas, into American government.
A third party -- and why not? -- a fourth and a fifth are most sorely needed; we can have a Tea Party, and of the other two, one can contain all the aging hippies, and the other can be chock full of the ancient and pious hypocrites, and both will be so marginalized as to eventually disappear from the poilitical scene completely.

D) The Gulf Oil Spill
1. The federal Government has shown it's inability to co-ordinate any action in the face of a major disaster. For all of you douchebags who blamed George W. Bush for the slow federal response to Hurricane Katrina, now you can stand up and say you're sorry, given the even more pitiful perfomance of the Obama Government. Local government and private citizens have done more, or at least would have, if they weren't prevented from trying by the Feds. Cleanup would have been more efficient had the Feds accepted all the offers of international help, and had not been beholden to the labor unions. Dispersants and certain other cleanup measures would have been in place, and doing useful work, if it wasn't for the EnvironMENTALIST's influence on the levers of power, and OSHA dictating 20-minute work hours. BP would probably have been more forthcoming on the how's and why's of this spill, if the Justice Department hadn't been screaming"LAWSUIT!" for polticial purposes, and the Administration wasn't trying to shake them down before letting BP take care of it's primary responsibility: stopping the leak, and cleaning the shit up.

2. BP fucked up, but the Federal Government fucked up more, only faster, more-expensively, on a grander scale and in front of the video cameras. It's time for a booster shot of Federalism, and a new dose of State's Rights. When it becomes the job of the Federal Government to do everything, it manages to do nothing, only spectacularly and with ruinous expense. If we've learned anything after 9/11, Katrina and now this Oil Spill, it's that government functions on about the same level as a retarded Irish Setter, is totally detached from the issues/problems of the people who pay for it, and has so many competing bureaucracies involved in every aspect of our lives that meaningful and effective action on most subjects is next to impossible.

3. BP, more as a result of the Obama Administration's attempts to publicly punish the company in an effort to cover it's own ass, has sent the company to the brink of bankruptcy (this Administration is really good at that). Today's paper reveals that Exxon-Mobil is poised to scoop up what's left of BP, creating an even bigger, richer and less accountable corporate entity. It would have been better had someone reminded President Dickhead that the main thrust of "government action" should have been cleanup, preventing the destruction of beaches, shorelines and marshlands, protecting and helping American citizens, and he left BP to the task of actually stopping the leak. But that would have meant no COngressional Hearings, and no Golf, I guess. Instead, we got a lot of talk about "Relief Funds", lawsuits, and the Savior of the Universe being unable to suck the oil up with a straw. If I were the CEO of BP right now, I'd throw my hands up in the air, yell "Fuck it!" and take my millions to go live on a nice, tropical beach somewhere, and let the all-powerful-all-knowing-in-charge-from-the-18th-hole-and-clueless Barack Obama clean up my messes -- the ones he's made infinitely worse -- for me. After all, he's the one who supposedly came with the cape and the halo, and you're just a guy in an exquisitely-tailored suit.

But then again, Mr. BP CEO; you often get what you pay for, don't you? That doesn't help the fishermen and resort workers on the Gulf, but they're just "little people", right? Even Obama, by his actions, has said so.

Next time, I'll have a go at the Eductational System, Foreign Policy, and the process of "Enstupidation" (thank you, Fred Reed, for inventing the term).

Do We Really Need A Congress?

I watched some of the posturing about BP CEO Tony Hayward this afternoon, and based on that performance my answer would have to be a resounding "NO". At least not if it meant that if we kept Congress, we'd have to keep the parade of morons currently there. That bunch of people I saw this afternoon were scary; there wasn't enough intellectual firepower up there to burn calories. The performance, the fake concern, the sarcasm, the posturing, the begging for Hayward to resign, was pathetic.

If none of those people aren't already sterile, we should probably make it a requirement for public office. After all, we spay and neuter house cats, so why not Congresscritters? But I digress...

Let's get something straight: Mr. Hayward did himself no good today, either. His company, which is already on my List of 10,000-Least-Favorite-Things-After-Ebola, is in deeper shit than I might have thought possible. If the e-mails that the Congresscritters were jabbering about today are any indication -- e-mails which contain complaints about safety from members of the drilling team, hints about cost-cutting, and internal memos which paint a picture of a company that was in total disarray, where the executives don't know what the workforce does, where the line-managers seem to be cowboys, and this was before the disaster -- are anything close to true, BP will probably cease to exist.

And that is as it should be; that's the Free Market at work. Companies that fuck up go out of business, it's just a shame that Congress can only remember that when they have a convenient foreign whipping boy willing to be shaken down to the tune of $20 billion just to keep the lawyers at bay (for now), and conveniently forgot it when Citibank, General Motors or AIG -- whose executives contributed to the campaign coffers of every Congressional Retard on the Hill -- were at the helm of their own disasters.

But don't get the idea in your head that Congress, by exposing BP's internal e-mails and hectoring Hayward with questions they knew he wasn't going to answer was actually doing anything that will prevent another Gulf Oil Spill, plug the damned hole, or clean up a solitary shoreline.

They just kept asking Hayward questions in an attempt to get something on record with which to clobber him later on. It's an old lawyer's trick, and it's how they eventually got Martha Stewart, you know. They want to lock Hayward into a story so that when the facts eventually do come out (especially the ones that show the government asleep at the switch, or which catch the regulatory agencies at their usual dumb-as-dogshit best), they'll be able to dance around those inconvenient revelations by hammering Hayward over "changes in his story".

BP is not off the hook, as far as I'm concerned, but the dog-and-pony show these last few days with the oil industry being beaten up in the public square so that complete and utter dingleberries can look "concerned" and "tough" and "in command", is an even sadder sight than seabirds slathered in crude oil.

Especially that asshat Joseph Cao, who started all that stuff about hara-kiri. If I remember correctly, Cao was one of the republican votes for ObamaCare, so maybe he'd care to demonstrate the proper technique for the rest of us? At least it would spare us his fake sanctimony and transparent grandstanding. Incidentally, Cao is Vietnamese, I think, and hara-kiri (more properly called "seppaku") is Japanese. Vietnamese don't kill themselves: they surrender to the nearest communists they can find and then take to rickety boats to save their worthless asses...at least the ones who eventually grow up to be Congressmen, that is. Cao is the Republican Party's answer to Anthony Weiner.

I know we have to keep a Congress, if only because if we didn't have one the President of the United States would become a dictator...oh, wait, that's already happened...but do we have to keep this one, and give them excuses to stage trials, asking questions (written by aides who did some actual research) of people who know even less than they do?

After that disgusting display, I'm of the mind that all 535 members of both Houses would be more useful if they stopped shovelling their usual nonsense, and hit a Gulf Coast beach to shovel tar balls, instead.

Certainly, BP should be punished for whatever it has done, or failed to do. The time for that, however, will be after they manage to plug the hole in the Gulf and start the cleanup in earnest, because there is no other entity at present who can do either. The Federal Government is inept, and it's hands are tied by bureaucratic bullshit, legalities, and the fact that public employees don't work very hard, or display much initiative. So, lay off BP, especially with the lawyer's tricks and the third-degree bullshit, until they've done what you need them to do.

The fucking lawsuits can wait.

But then I guess if there weren't this Show Trials, some people (mostly the Press, which is an even bigger crowd of idiots than Congress) would ask "where's the government in all this?", and those jerkoffs on Capitol Hill would have no answer. At least now they can claim to have "grilled Tony Hayward and asked him tough questions on the record...", which at least keep them occupied long enough so that they weren't trying to figure out how to tax us to pay for penile implants for illegal aliens.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the leak, or clean up one drop of oil. How much you wanna bet that every one of those flapping rectums will make certain the video of today's puppet show appears in their campaign commercials this fall, though?

BP can't plug the hole fast enough, and 2012 can't come soon enough.

The Oil Spill Speech...

Here's a handy transcript of what the President said about the Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the government's response, and his plans for the future:

Blah blah blah blathery blathery blah, blah blah-blah. It's BP's fault. Bad BP! We'll sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah blah blah blah blabbity-bloobity blah blah. It's George Bush's Fault. Again. We'll sue. Blah, blah blah blah blah.

Blibbity-blabbity booh-booh-ba-dangery blahbitty blah-blah, I don't do "things", like cleaning up beaches, and rescuing dolphins, and plug oil-spewing holes -- I'm a Dream the Impossible Dreams kinda guy. You didn't expect a Black Guy from Chicago to WORK, did you? Blab, blah, blech.

Blah blah blah blabbity-blabbity-bloobity blah blah blah, moratorium on deepwater offshore drilling putting thousands more people out of work, and increasing energy prices in an already precarious economy in the process, blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah, empower a "National Commission" --more misdirected bureaucracy by un-elected, un-accountable douchebags -- blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

Blah, blah, blah, waste money on windmills. Blah, blah, blah blah blah, blabbity-blah blah, Cap and Tax is more necessary than ever before! Blah blah blah blah, blha blah blah blah. And let me say "God Bless America", which I really don't mean anyways, blah blah blah.

I don't even think anyone even bothers to write this stuff for him, anymore. He's been giving the same speech for the last two years, and its as if it has become a "fill-in-the-blank" sort of affair where you just substitute "Wall Street", or "Insurance Company, or "Glenn Beck" for"Big Oil" wherever you need to, and then blame everything and everyone under the sun for shit that happens on your watch, and which you might have prevented -- had you not been a Communist. Then you use all that attempted misdirection and blame-dodging to set up your argument for a new regime of expansive government interference. This "New, Stronger Regulation" will have to be supported by more taxes, and enforced with even more (and more ridiculous) requirements, and be overseen by the same politicians and regiments of Public Union Employees who failed in their regulatory duties in the first place.

It's as if the goal -- from the beginning of any endeavor you might imagine -- is never what's best for US, but always in what sends more power, money and authority to people who mismanage and abuse the power, money and authority they already have.

It's not even worth listening to this dude anymore, because you can anticipate what's going to come out of his mouth before he even begins moving his lips. Might as well mail the fucking speech in and spare the American public the inconvenience of having the O'Reilly Factor interrupted for a waste-of-time Presidential rant.

Mark Steyn on Obama's Regal Speeches...

A must read.

Two small, but relevant, ideas struck me about this column as soon as Steyn mentioned Alfred the Great and King Canute in relation to The Great Hopenchanger, but only because I'm a history buff:

1. Alfred the Great was forced -- some say naked, and in the dead of night -- to flee into a swamp to save his very life, because he had lost his kingdom to the Danes. It then took Alfred 25 years (in the real, not metaphorical wilderness) to reclaim his kingdom from the Vikings, the 9th Century version of Illegal Immigrants, and he had not completed that task before he had finally shuffled off the old mortal coil.

Alfred is generally regarded worthy of the appellation "The Great" (the only English king to ever bear that title), because it was he -- in defeat -- who manages to instill a sense of "Englishness" in a world that was increasingly going to the Vikings. His "Greatness" is to allude to a past that will very soon cease to exist because the country is being invaded and changed by outside forces. Yeah, I get lost on that one, too.

2. King Canute (a Viking, go figure!) becomes (in-)famous for regulating everything within an inch of it's sorry life (the better to tax it, you see) through a system of sycophantic political allies (can anyone say "czar"?). His legacy was that the anger and political disunity this fostered led directly -- upon his death -- to a three-cornered fight for the throne, and civil war. These wars would eventually culminate in the Greatest Disaster in English History -- the Norman Invasion of 1066.

A disaster because it meant putting the French in charge of everything --a sort of prototype European Union -- and it didn't work then, either. Oh, and by the way, William the Conqueror's Norman forebears were also illegal immigrants -- Vikings who had settled in France (seeing a pattern here?).

Barack Obama, in a way, is leading -- more like blindly stumbling -- this country towards a modern-day version of Alfred and Canute. only he has (marginally-) better speechwriters. Like Alfred, he is inspiring a nostalgia for what it was to be American, while we -- having lost those feelings of pride and specialness -- fight a rear-guard action that often requires us to tailor our economy and policies to suit the realities of being surrounded and invaded by hostile foreigners. Look around you: Tea Parties indicate political discontent and an unfair tax regime. The President of the United States bows to foreign potentates, mollycoddles illegal aliens, signs on to the most pie-in-the-sky environMENTAL policies, and even changes the very terminology of warfare, in order to satisfy an International Community whose overriding aim is to pull down the edifice of American Power, Prestige and Exceptionalism, brick-by-brick.

Obama must speak in vague generalities and the honey-dripping turn of phrase, because plain speech would give the game away. The truth is that we have, in a fit of desperation, elected a man who is incapable of finding his own ass with both hands and a flashlight (let alone know who's ass to kick in a National Emergency), who is a slave to his outmoded and unworkable ideology (did you just use "slave " in describing a black man? Racist!), and who is nothing but a slick marketing campaign in a suit. This truth cannot, ever, be told.

Because if it was, no one who wasn't a welfare recipient or an illegal alien would ever pull a lever for a democratic candidate again.

In a world that requires deeds, all Barack Obama has to offer is words -- and those are all written by someone else, and never make much sense. In making the comparison to Alfred and Canute, I wonder if Steyn wasn't coincidentally hitting upon the real danger and soon-to-be-legacy of Barack Obama.

Douchebag of the Week (6/8/10): Tony Hayward...

Yes, it has been a long hiatus for the DOW Award, but that was due to more than just simple apathy on my part; there have been far too many candidates to choose from. There were no truly Epic Douches, defined as those who stood head-and-shoulders above the field, to single out for special recognition. How to choose when the field is so full?

The sad fact of American Life is that the phenomenon of Douchebaggery has become so common is that it takes an industrial disaster of epic proportions to make the distinction between the huddled masses of workaday douchebags, and those who have ascended to the mystic and exalted heights of Mount Douchebottle -- the Olympus of Douchedom -- on their way to cosmic douchebag immortality, to burn brightly in the sky in the Galaxy We Call The Douchey Way.

Tony Hayward, the CEO of British Petroleum (BP) has made the arduous journey from ordinary douche (obnoxious businessman) to become the four-star General, the George S. Patton, if you will, of Douchedom.

Hayward's company has poisoned the Gulf of Mexico -- perhaps for generations -- with an oil spill that began 5,000 feet below the surface of the ocean, at the very limits of technological and engineering capabilities. BP has allegedly co-opted the very regulators (and politicians) who are supposed to ensure that a) BP doesn't make the mistakes that lead to an uncontrollable oil spill, and b) has a a plan and the wherewithal to clean up after those mistakes, with campaign contributions and a cozy relationship with the regulators that involves the promise of future employment.

It does this all the while running commercials, for years, about it's commitment to a cleaner environment and the Energy of Tomorrow.

BP has, despite protestations to the contrary, done little to protect the Gulf Coast, or to actually clean up after itself. It has lawyered up (and granted, the Obamatards stepped in right way with the threat of Federal lawsuits -- talk about putting carts before horses!) it has fudged the numbers on the size of the spill, the amount of oil leaking, the effects of it's counter-spill efforts, even the number and amount of claims it has paid to local fishermen. It has been aided and abetted by the Obama Administration it has bought and paid for, while all the while giving that same bunch of lame-ass morons both a plausible excuse for their piss-poor reaction (BP is responsible, not us!), and the excuse to further rape the American consumer and Taxpayer (tighter regulations and restrictions on the Energy Industry, as well as new taxes, are on the way).

BP is front-and-center in an environmental disaster that makes the Exxon Valdez look like a cup of coffee spilled in a bathtub. The scope and scale of this disaster, and the difficulty involved in shutting off the flow of oil, makes a Chernobyl-like explosion appear to be an acceptable risk in terms of making nuclear power a more-viable alternative to oil.

Yet, through it all -- all the ruined fisheries, the devastated local economies, the now-sure-to-be-cancelled tourist season, the dead pelicans and otters, the frightening imagery of an uncontrollable undersea volcano of black sludge -- Tony Hawyard feels picked on. He "wants his life back". He wants the media spotlight off his company, and him personally.

Poor baby.

You see, Tony, this is not about you, inasmuch as you have gotten the attention solely because you happen to be the man in charge. You're the CEO, you get the salary, and it's your job, frankly, to be the lightning rod in the shitstorm -- it's why you're overpaid in the first place. If it bothers you that much, then don't whine, just fucking quit. We couldn't possibly think any less of you, anyway. What this is really about is the millions of Americans whose lives are now going to be affected, perhaps for decades, because of this disaster. How do they get their lives back, Shithead?

And yet, Mr. Hayward, already regarded in this country as something slightly-less popular than Cholera, thinks he can make people forget that BP has destroyed their beaches and livelihoods, and that all his douchey tomfoolery over personalizing the effects can be erased by a propaganda campaign, a series of commercials and public service announcements about what BP is doing to help clean up the Gulf and make things right.

That sort of rehabilitate-the-image crap works for democratic party politicians, Mr. Hayward (mostly because their supporters are dumber than dogshit), but we're talking about people's wallets and health, now. Most Americans can be counted upon to misunderstand "complicated" issues like politics, but they certainly understand money and upset stomachs. And when some foreigner-with-a-bad-attitude insults them by pretending as if they don't matter (because Tony wants HIS life back, ignoring the lives his company has probably destroyed), Americans get angry and no amount of PR will douse the fires. Just ask George III what happens when Americans feel ignored, marginalized and ripped off by uppity British assholes.

If you think you can brazen this out after making your true feelings known, Mr. Hayward, you're in a sorrier position than Barack Obama, and probably in as thick a bubble, too. Commercials aside, even you can't be dumb enough to believe your own bullshit.

For being a total Douchebag above and beyond the call of duty -- for daring to think that you could brazen your way out of an ecological disaster of this magnitude, for displaying an intense conceit that is only explainable in psychological terms, for poisoning an entire sea, and finally, for giving the opportunistic and overreaching Obama Administration another excuse to practice their craft and destroy the American Energy Industry (and why not? They've already destroyed the Health Care Industry, the Auto Industry, the Real Estate Industry and the Banking Industry) -- Cap and Trade is on it's way, along with a bewildering array of new taxes, restrictions, regulations and so forth -- Tony Hayward becomes the first-ever recipient of the Douchebag of the Week Award With Oak Leaf Clusters.

And I know of a really big hole that you CAN plug with those clusters, Mr. Hayward.

A Libtard Just Told the Truth!

This is why, if you can hold your breakfast down, you should occasionally watch (P)MSNBC. New York Times columnist Gail Collins uttered a pearl of wisdom this morning on Morning Joe. This tidbit of honesty was allowed to escape during the discussion of Obama's crisis management in the wake of the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and criticism of the Federal Response, and what was -- they tell me -- Obama's first, official press conference in a year (forgive me if I wasn't as excited about it, since the douchebag in on my TV every goddamned day, whether it's "official or not"). I'll paraphrase:

"...the only reason Barack Obama is President of the United States is because the Stock Market tanked, and by comparison with a grandstanding, stunt-pulling, mighty confused John McCain, he seemed the cooler, more rational choice..."

Ah, finally: A Liberal tells the unvarnished truth about Obambi! It only took a year-and-a-half, 10% unemployment, a series of unconstitutional power grabs, a deficit growing at exponential rates, a naked Rahm Emanuel accosting psychotic gay men in the Congressional locker room, a possible pay-for-play scandal, several high-profile resignations, and an oil spill of Biblical proportions. NOW the media wants to do it's primary job and pick apart the persona and policies of Barack Obama?

Collins is jumping ship. Yesterday, I even watched Chrissy Matthews, and he was sounding the alarm bells over Obama. I might get a bottle of Pepto and attempt to watch Olbermann this evening, just to see if it's a trifecta. Why, even (P)MSNBC's House Negro, Eugene Robinson, had to admit that his man was somehow less inspiring in action than he had been on the campaign trail, and was beginning to wonder how it was that Obama was such a charismatic, transformation figure 18 months ago, and now hardly inspires anyone. You begin to believe that the media is finally to seeing what the rest of us do, and a faint hope for the future stirs once again.

You can see a NASA Satellite image of the Oil Spill here.

Update: Satellite Image would not upload, included hyperlink to UPI. Fixed some spelling errors.

"Obama's Katrina"

So speaks Karl Rove in the Wall Street Journal, with regards to the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

I must take exception with Mr. Rove for this pronouncement, if only because being a political operative, it's his job to paint the opposition in the most negative light he can, and let's face it -- it doesn't get any more negative than evoking the nightmare visions of Hurricane Katrina. Mr. Rove, if given the opportunity and the confluence of different circumstances, might as well have made the point that this spill is "Obama's Holocaust" or "Obama's 9/11", if he could get away with it.

What Rove, and many on the political right seem to overlook is that Katrina, and the government response to it, doesn't lend itself to the same sort of political pretzel logic that this oil spill does. To begin with, this isn't a natural disaster; it's a man-made accident (or as Man-et Napolitano likes to say, "Man Caused Disaster"). Katrina was unavoidable, beyond the ability of man to predict and control. This spill probably was, or at least might have, been less-likely had major mistakes not been made. I say this with the full admission that I am not an expert on the oil industry and off-shore drilling, but from what's been reported thus far, there's a lot of "fell-asleep-at-the-switch" crap out there to give one this general impression.

Secondly, what Rove and the political right fail to recognize is that, unlike Katrina, there are no images of African-Americans too stupid to get out of the path of a hurricane they knew was coming, and watched on television as it crossed the Atlantic for two weeks -- before it finally made landfall. There are no heartbreaking images of children slogging through waist-deep sewage, no reports of gang warfare in the streets, no elderly folks left to die in abandoned nursing homes. There are no "victims" for Chris Matthews, Geraldo Rivera and Katie Couric to sermonize upon and to club a Republican President over the head with. The "outrage" is mostly coming from the predictable precincts: the environMENTAL fringe, James Carville, and the Gulf Tourism Industry, aided by Bobby Jindal (governor of Louisiana) and Mary Landrieu (Senator) who see it as an opportunity for even more federal funding to their state.

(As if FEMA air-dropping Krugerands in buckets into Louisiana post-Katrina -- there's a reason why New Orleans is 30' below sea-level and sinking ever-deeper, you know -- and Landrieu's $300 million Health-Care bribe wasn't enough? Look, you need to clean up that spill for obvious reasons, but dammit, when does the Federal Spigot get shut off?).

I defy any government, no matter how efficient, to deal with these sorts of issues, whether a Katrina-like storm, or a massive oil spill 5,000 feet under water. The problem for GWB post-Katrina is that the "victims" were mostly part of a supposedly-oppressed class which was reflexively trained to believe that "The Government" is supposed to "do something", and upon the discovery that "The Government" (starting with the Mayor of New Orleans and Governor of Louisiana) was unequal to the task, and when the Victim Class found itself stripped of even the simple self-preservation instinct, their resulting plight was that much easier to attribute to a lack of leadership and outright racism. Obama, personally, will not be tarred by this brush in the way that George W. Bush was; he will largely skate -- aided and abetted by the media which has an emotional and ideological investment in the man -- on the worst of the Katrina comparisons.

Where Obama will have problems with this situation is in some aspects of the federal response, such as it has been, and most of those will disappear as soon as a few heads roll. Obama is very good at deflecting criticism by throwing his friends under the bus, you'll remember. As for what that Federal Response has been, and why it's been so dismal, I postulate the following:

1) In this, as in most things, Obama is simply in over his head. Then again, when you present yourself as the Messiah, making such grand pronouncements as "This is the Moment When Global Warming Ends" and "this is the Moment When The Oceans Cease to Rise", well, you get what you deserve. I never expected Obama to part the waters -- or in this case just separate the oil from the water -- because I never had the sort of investment in the Cult of Personality that most Lefties do.

To be fair, it's difficult to expect Obama himself to have the answers to every problem, but you would think that he would at least have access to the best-and-brightest with the expertise to advise him in these situations. It's becoming clear that his best advisers are probably also infected with the same ideological stupidity as their leader; the initial response has been to find a way to make certain everyone knows BP is responsible, especially financially, and then reignite the dormant debate on the need for Green Energy programs. Some have said this has been the goal all along; that the government was going to do it's least so as to further justify the Green Boondoggle.

There's many reports of Obama and BP campaign cash, and the federal regulatory agencies involved with the oil industry being stuffed with to the rafters with porn-surfing, drug-taking, ticket-punchers who want an oil industry gig after their government "service" is ended. This is the modus operandi of every federal regulatory agency, by the way, and it's something that needs to stop. And I thought Obama was against giving Big Business the ability to sway elections and policies with huge campaign contributions? After all, he did call out the Supreme Court on just this notion. If so, how did BP's cash wind up in his wallet? Corruption -- all the way down the line, but mostly within government -- seems to be the common thread that runs through most major disasters (Oil Spills, Financial Crisis, etc.), nowadays.

2) The Greenie Meanies in the Administration may have disrupted or interfered with initial spill responses because of competing environMENTAL agendas; The initial NOAA-approved plan for a controlled burn may have been halted because the EPA was concerned about elevated air pollution levels, or the effect on fisheries. The ability to build sand berms to keep the oil from reaching shore are hung up in EPA red tape over impact statements. In no small part, certain aspects of this disaster are a direct result of The Greenie Meanies and their dumbass Global Warming Cult; they have advocated for tougher regulations for decades (which apparently aren't enforced by the masturbating junkies in government "service", or which can be side-stepped with a campaign contribution), which has pushed the oil industry to drill in ever-deeper waters, further from the coast (because we don't wish to inconvenience caribou, or a few dozen Eskimos, or ruin some summer-vacationers ocean view), so that when disaster strikes, the conditions under which present-day off-shore drilling is conducted make it impossible to swiftly respond.

If you think an oil spill is already hard enough to contain and clean up on dry land or enclosed waters, try containing one 5,000 feet below the surface of the ocean. BP may be in deep shit, as it were, but it was the Tree Huggers, in part, who forced them into deeper water, into taking greater risks, and into pushing the boundaries of modern engineering to this extent. The Green Assholes will never admit their complicity in this disaster, but to them responsibility is always something for other people to exercise and accept, isn't it? This spill is (almost) a direct result of paying Tree-Hugging Retards far too much attention, and exempting government from the same levels of accountability that hold sway in the Private Sector.

Some have gone as far as to say that the Federal Government has conspired NOT to act, so that the Oil Industry can be demonized in much the same way as Wall Street was.

As I write this, President Odickhead is back on television -- and the first words out his mouth are "The Government has been in charge since Day One" and "BP is responsible for this mess". He's already saying that off-shore exploration is being halted, and is setting the case for further government intervention in the industry. The last 37 days belie the "Day One-assertion" made by the Obama Administration, and the rest of this speech is simply the setting-up of the legal framework which will explode into the rationales behind a further restriction of freedoms and commerce. New regulations, Blue-Ribbon Panels and government organizations are on the way -- because this is the solution to every problem on Earth, you know -- which will raise energy prices and hurt an already-anemic economy. These but make Lefties feel better about themselves but will do nothing about reducing American dependence on foreign oil, or meet the energy needs of the country. We're about to further destroy economic progress for the sake of a few thousand windmills that won't work (and which the Greenie Meanies will cry to shut off because they kill birds in the thousands).

You know, none of this would have happened if they were just drilling in ANWAR, already.

Our country is being micromanaged by complete and utter retards who haven't got a clue. On anything. Worse, they are being directed by even bigger retards with agendas. If this disaster hasn't driven that home to you, I don't know what will --short of another 9/11.