Friday, August 10, 2012

Even More New Anti-Romney Ads on the Horizon...

In response to the enormous popularity of this post, I have crafted some more new Anti-Romney ads the lying Obama campaign machine will be unleashing on the public any day now. Enjoy!

(Ominous deep voice, maybe James Earl Jones, warns of the dangers of a Mitt Romney victory, juxtaposed against the image of a jailed nun).

Mitt Romney wants to crush freedom of religion in America. If Mitt Romney and the evil, tax-dodging capitalists at Bain Capital have their way, very soon only Mormons and Evangelical, ultra-right-wing Christians will be allowed to practice their religion freely.

Black churches will burn.

Synagogues will burn.

Mosques will be pulled down, brick-by-brick to make way for polluting factories that will make nothing but profit -- not Prophets -- for the richest One Percent.

Catholics, Protestants and Hindus will be jailed, and only Barack Obama, the maybe-Christian-maybe-Muslim-disciple of the Social Justice Religion of Jeremiah Wright can stop them!

Obama 2012: Defending the Bitter Clingers for a Better America!
(Overwrought female voice, apparently on the verge of tears...or maybe just menstrual... describes the scene).

This could be the future of a typical, middle-class neighborhood in North Inbred, West Virginia.

Children played here. Good public schools run by stalwart Unionized teachers, the backbone of America, once gave them an education. But then a wave of Corporate Greed, led by the savages at Mitt Romney's Bain Capital destroyed the Financial System, and everyone in North Inbred found their home values destroyed in the name of insane profits.

Without President Obama's mortgage renegotiation policies, which allow Americans who may be having trouble paying their mortgages to stay in their homes, this is the future: a smoking pile of trash where once-green suburbs once flourished.

If Mitt Romney and the Republican Party have their way, Americans will be forced to live in this new North Inbred, scavenging for food, picking up cans to earn what little they can, left to fend for themselves while the Richest One Percent in America counts their dividends, and eats Rack of Lamb, Creme Brule and Chateau Lefite '73, seven days a week. And in the meantime, homes are lost. Families are destroyed. Children starve. The elderly are left to wander the blasted heath in confusion.

Don't let Mitt Romney and Bain Capital destroy North Inbred! Vote democrat in this year's elections, and help President Obama save all the North Inbreds in America.
Mitt Romney, Bain Capital, and the GOP saved my life.

Because my mother couldn't afford birth control, because Bain Capital owned a majority interest in several condom factories in China, and because their allies in the Republican Party and Catholic Church thwarted President Obama's effort to provide free, government-subsidized contraceptives to Ivy-League-Educated-professional student-agitators like the courageous and selfless Sandra Fluke, I was born and allowed to live.

Somehow, you just knew that I would grow up to become this.

It's Mitt Romney and Republicans' fault that I was allowed to live, and now there are many dead people whose only crime was that they picked the wrong theater on the wrong night.

Mitt Romney and Bain Capital would take away a woman's right to abort her unborn mental case mass murderer, or to prevent it's development with a free Morning-After Pill or Government-issued condoms in order to curry favor with rich capitalists and superstitious Christians. It's unfair to make the rest of us pay for their denial of a basic human right; a woman's right to choose.

Obama 2012: Get Your Freak On Without Making a Freak.
This was the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, partially-built with funds from Bain Capital given to the old Soviet Union in violation of American sanctions. Bain Capital, and Mitt Romney, bought the then republican-controlled Congress in order to violate American law, so as to build this disaster for profit.

When it exploded in April of 1986, fourteen billion people died, and seventy-three billion more were immediately stricken with deadly, untreatable cancers.

Mitt Romney and His Friends in the GOP want to build 9,000 Chernobyl-style reactors across the United States in the name of "Energy Independence". That's 9,000 potential time bombs and 16 quadrillion new cancers in just the first day of operation alone.

President Obama and his Administration have been working to promote Green Energy, which is cleaner, less-dangerous, and prevents both cancer and cavities, and takes massive amounts of money out of the hands of filthy rich, greedy capitalists, and puts it back into the hands of responsible, democratic-party approved capitalists who really care.

All Mitt Romney and his friends, the Power Companies, and the Cancer Doctors, really care about is making money off of making you sick.

Obama 2012: Green Energy for America, Less Green for Bain Capital and the One Percent!

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