Friday, April 08, 2005

Tracking Felons...
From the "long-overdue" category we now see a popular groundswell of support for tagging convicted sex offenders with GPS locators, the better to locate such animals after they have been released back into the wild to rape and kill again. In an amazing display of closing the barn door long after the horse has defecated and run away, some lawmakers are now seriously considering offering legislation to actually start keeping track of these monsters.

A series of highly-televised child abuductions and murders, I guess, spurs lawmakers and law enforcement higher-up's into action, huh?

Wan't to keep track of sexual offenders, cheaply, efficiently and with no possibility that they might find another innocent victim? Here's four, sensical suggestions:

1. Mandatory life sentence, where such deviants are forced to service their fellow prisoners.
2. Branding on the face, hands, forehead and buttocks. A great, big "R" for rapist, "SO" for sexual offender, "P" for pedophile. The authorities could also save time and money this way because they wouldn't have to take the time to maintain websites or make door-to-door visits to notify a community that a sex offender has just moved in next door; it would be obvious to anyone.
3. Multiple gunshot wounds, delivered as quickly as possible after conviction.
4. Return Fidel Castro's favor and our human garbage to Cuba in a reverse Mariel Boat Lift. They'd be shot at the waterline before they got to do any damage in the Worker's Paradise.

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