Reason # 5,128 why Your President is a Dickhead...

Afghanistan. The necessary war, you'll recall.

It's a straightforward process, Barry, really. You say we need to win the war there, the necessary war, not the one of choice -- your words, not mine -- then do something about actually winning it.

Oh, we've seen the photographs, the very serious, dramatic photographs of you speaking with your closest advisers in the Situation Room. Your people are good with manipulation of the media like that -- not like it's hard, you know. The media people would eat one of your turds as a sign of undying fealty and then beg for another, so they'll regurgitate whatever you tell them to. But the dramatic photos, even if they are designed to portray you as a serious, deliberative soul, manage to convey another message altogether. That feeling can be summed up, thus;

What the fuck are you people talking about... still?

This is a war that you say is good and necessary. Your own, hand-picked general says it can be won, but he needs another 40,000 grunts to do it. He says this is a critical time, that the next year spells the difference between victory and defeat -- and you've wasted a third of that time in serious deliberation and posing for West Wing-style head shots. Sorry, but Joe Biden in serious-deliberative-Washington-manufactured-crisis-mode photos just doesn't cut it. It actually is a bit creepy.

Shit or get off the pot, Barry.

Oh, right; you want to get off the pot without making it look like you've gotten off the pot? I got news for you; you're already going to lose House and Senate seats in '10, and you're already a lame duck, one-term President, Nothing short of the Republicans nominating Charles Manson for President in '12 (or one of those back-bencher, milquetoast non-entities they're always extolling the 'Conservative' virtues of, like Pawlenty or Huckabee,and I wouldn't put it past the ridiculously-stupid suits at Republican Central to misread the tea leaves and try that one), is going to save you.

You're also caught by your own rhetoric about 'good' wars and your chaotic, incomprehensible foreign policy wherein you call the guy who's running the joint a crook...and then send the Secretary of State to stand with him at his Inauguration.

Anything to get Hillary out of town and away from the microphones, I guess.

If you want to unilaterally surrender, then man up and do it. I know you want to. I see it in your eyes, Barry. You want to please the Berkeley Faculty Lounge, and Code Pink, and the loony wing of your own party so much, but it makes you look all wimpy and stuff. Even more than when Michelle makes it clear she really wears the pants, and shows off her manly-yet-ever-so-femininely-sculpted pythons. It's not Presidential to look wimpy...except when you're bowing to Saudi Princes and Japanese Emperors, and grovelling before the Iranians and Arab Street, and all that; that's not being wimpy, that's extending a hand in friendship or some other tommyrot.

At least that's how it's spun by the flapping rectums over at (P)MSNBC. That's between soundbites about 'exit strategy'. Only liberals (small 'l' intentional) talk about war in terms of how to finish one before you actually start to fight one. It's why they lose wars, badly, after spending a couple of decades and a few tens of thousands of men (see Vietnam).

Anyway, you will be gone, and then unfortunately, the real deliberative, serious, decision-making people (i.e. Adults) who might actually be prepared for this job will have to undo the damage you've done. With luck, it'll take less than 50 years. With luck, they won't have to suffer the impediment of having to repair the damage from another terrorist attack originating in Afghanistan while they do it. Perhaps, by some miracle, they might even find some money to rebuild the country with after that $12 trillion debt you'll leave them.

I know you really only wanted this job for the perks, but, Dude, seriously, the job entails work and the making of difficult decisions, especially where lives are at stake. That's not a cliche, either. There are people being shot at over there so that we don't have to eat kamikaze airliners over here.

Do the right thing, for the first time your life, Shithead. You don't need Michelle's permission, really.

Either send the boys to the battle or don't -- and then man up and tell the truth about how you arrived at your decision. Don't keep the brave men and women already in Afghanistan in suspense; they have a right to know if help and victory are on the way, or if their Commander-in-Chief has decided to fold up the tent and run away.