YAY! I'm A Minority Now!

Depending upon which Flapping Rectum you believe on television, Mitt Romney lost the election for a variety of reasons, many of them esoteric, many arcane, a few more technical, but in any case, not exactly clear to anyone with enough sense to keep from sticking their wet genitalia into the nearest, convenient electrical outlet.

It doesn't seem as if anyone who is supposed to be 'in the know' about American politics can actually give you an answer to this simple question:

How did Mitt Romney lose this election to a complete and utter retard, backed by an even bigger retard (Joe Biden), surrounded by drooling doofuses who can't as much as answer a question truthfully (Susan Rice, Hillary Clinton, Eric Holder, Janet Napolitano, Tim Geithner, etc.), running on a platform of absolutely ZERO accomplishments, saddled with a bad economy and $16 trillion debt, an expansion of the Wars in the Middle East, and a sense of total confusion so thick you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw?

Five Reasons Why Marco Rubio is a Bad Choice for Vice President...

Conventional conservative wisdom, as expressed by the likes of Charles Krauthammer, is that Mitt Romney, having all but sealed the deal in the race to become the GOP presidential candidate, should turn his attention to the subject of who will be his Vice President. Moreover, this same conventional wisdom says that Romney will need to placate Hispanic voters and that this means that he will simply have to select one Marco Rubio Senator-in-Diapers from Florida.

Here are Five Reasons Why Marco Rubio Would be a Bad Choice For Vice President:

Making Your Privates Public…

You know, there used to be a time before cell phones existed when people took great pains to do two very important things:

a. Keep their noses out of their neighbors’ business, and

b. Keep certain aspects of their personal lives private.

Apparently, this is no longer true. I won’t go into the near-impossibility of keeping most facets of your life a secret when you actually want to, nowadays (technology has made this somewhat problematic if not damned near impossible). However, one would think that some things about most people’s private lives that should be kept secret would remain safely hidden if only cell phones had not become ubiquitous…

…and if the people who insist on using them in a public setting had the same sense you’re likely to find in a brain-damaged Irish Setter.

I Told You So...

Herman Cain Kicks Ass.

Newt Gingrich, you are now, officially, off my Christmas Card List. I'm gettin' me some Herman Cain campaign gear!

And Mitt Romney? You're still a pussy.

Some will tell you that one debate does not a Presidential Candidate make, and others, less honest and with some other agenda to push, will point out that Herman merely beat the second string of GOP nominees. Well, I'd like to think he would have easily held his own had the first string actually had the guts to show up in South Carolina.

No Gingrich. No Palin. No Romney. No Huckabee. No Bachmann. The stunning lack of commitment, even this early, by the people generally agreed to be the front-runners in 2012 is appalling. And I'm sorry, but if I have to listen to one more Conservative flapping rectum trying to convince me that Rick Santorum and Tim Pawlenty are Presidential timber, I might be forced to shoot you. In the face. Like Usama.

You're either stupid, or someone's paid flack.

I wrote a bit about Herman a couple of weeks ago, and not only was my opinion of the man vindicated by last Thursday's performance, he's risen in my estimation by leaps and bounds.

A word to the Conservative punditocracy: you dismiss Herman Cain at your risk.

Too Smart for His Own Good?

Three anonymous (probably Leftard) 'experts' subject President Obama to a thorough examination -- without meeting him -- and form the following diagnosis:he's a complex dude, and that's why we don't understand just how absolutely fucking incomprehensibly awesome he really is.

Let's get this out of the way: I like Barack Obama, The Man, not Barack Obama the Jumpshot-in-Chief. I think he is genuinely smart in that Ivory Tower, bookish sort of way which makes for interesting cocktail party conversation, but which usually doesn't work when applied to practical problems. I'd like to spend an afternoon with him over a couple of beers and a ballgame, or maybe an evening of poker, cigars and dirty jokes. Hell, he can fuck my sister, I admire him so much.

It takes a great man to be this utterly clueless and still get elected to the highest office in the land. I'd like to know his secrets to success.

But, there's something about Obama that just doesn't compute, and as we used to say in my old systems programming days, if it doesn't add up, then you've fucked up. There's something missing, a key variable, a lack of data, some error that must account for the gap between the Hope and Result.

So, I've done my own evaluation of Barack Obama -- debugging, as it were, the Man's code -- and since I'm not a psychiatrist, haven't read any of his three, five, seven, whatever, biographies, don't parse his speeches looking for flashes rhetorical brilliance, I don't faint at the mere sight of him, or read any of his policy papers, I figure this makes me just as qualified to evaluate the President from a distance and with no direct input as three so-called psychiatric experts who apparently are incapable of speaking in coherent sentences.

I don't believe that Barack Obama ever expected to win the election in 2008.

I believe this, without proof or first-hand evidence -- but that didn't stop Millbank's Experts, did it? -- that B.O. was just as convinced as every other Flapping Rectum in the summer of 2008 that Hillary Clinton had the democratic nomination all but stolen, and that his job in that case was to remind the Clinton Wing of the democratic party that the Moonbat Left was still there and had stuff to say (It may have been stupid stuff, but it still needed to be said), and they would not be silent while a candidate they saw as fundamentally the same as McCain took her premature victory lap and coasted into a uncontested November win.

Obama was probably content to play Clinton's Ralph Nader, and then try again another day.

But then the Economy hitthe skids. The Stock Market crashed. The Housing Market was imploding. The country was still embroiled in two wars that appeared to be becoming social laboratories and Straw Men for Left and Right to argue over rather than actually WIN. People began to worry, they began to panic, and when they examined their choices come November 2008, they found two people who were indistinguishable in their 'maintain the status quo' politicking, and some dude who gave good speech and managed to make 'more of the same' even more unappealing.

So, they voted for Barry. Whether this was the desperation of Hope, or the desire for Change, matters not: if Obama had one thing in his favor it was that he wasn't an aging Cold Warrior who couldn't stay on the same side of the political street for three minutes, or an opportunistic hellion in a Black Crusty Pantsuit who was going to have her Presidency run -- and probably ruined -- by her horndog husband. Obama was seen as alien to the viper pit of Washington politics that had caused the multiple messes we were in. That was enough for a good many folks.

So there he was, actually winning. The problem was, I think, that since he hadn't expected to win, he had no plan for what do next.

This became evident almost immediately with the Stimulus Plan. it wasn't an economic plan as much as it was a wish-list of ridiculous projects and pet peeves compiled by Congressional Democrats. The only thing "shovel ready" about that plan was The Plan Itself. It's not surprising that it failed because it wasn't really intended to do anything beyond ensuring that certain democratic (small 'd' intentional) party allies and constituencies were fully funded before the money well-and-truly ran out.

The next clue was ObamaCare. In the midst of an economic crisis, Obama puts forth a brand-spankin' new entitlement program, and then leaves the details to Congress again. He then spends 15 months -- the first third of his Presidency, in effect -- trying to sell a plan that he can't explain, can't describe the need for, and can't justify at a time when people are losing their jobs left and right. A year after it's been passed he still can't explain it, and the more we learn of it as the days unwind, the less we like it. Nancy Pelosi wasn't just being coy when she said "We have to pass it to find out what's in it"; none of the people who allegedly put it together even KNEW what they had wrought, and what they did know of it was sure to be political suicide (see 2010 midterms). That's why the thing was cobbled together in secrecy, funded up-front, and passed almost in the dead of night with the hope that it would eventually just be too complex -- and embeded -- to kill at a later date.

The next indication that Barack Obama wasn't prepared for this job was the enormous amount of time he spent complaining about having to do it. I was especially shocked to listen to President-Elect Obama take daily questions from the Press on this or that subject, and alternately expound a load of fertilizer where he thought it would do him good, and then gently remind the Press that he wasn't President yet when a question was inconvenient. Later, the criticism becomes too great and mean-spirited, everything was George Bush's fault, it's racism and he inherited every problem and they couldn't all be fixed overnight(this is true, but it's not as if he didn't know about the pile of horse dung that is Washington and American Politics; but he did, after all, lobby for the job and should have known), and this led to the next clue:

The amount of time Barack Obama has spent in the last two years NOT being President of the United States.He's on vacation every few weeks. He's delegated a shitload of authority and responsibility to 'czars' and 'Blue Ribbon Panels', he's taking "Date Nights" with the Missus, taking the kids to Hawaii, playing as much golf as possible. When catastrophe strikes, and the Gulf Coast is poisoned by a massive oil spill, Obama goes on vacation, but promises to file a lawsuit when he comes back. He starts a war by committee, so that England and France can fight Khadaffi to the last American on behalf of their oil supplies, and then tries to back away from ownership of it. This as American forces are already fighting on behalf of the  Europeans in Afghanistan and Iraq. Our foreign policy leadership has been turned over to the U.N., the Arab League, and the European Union.

But the Biggest Clue about about how clueless Barack Obama is in the selection of his advisers; he went back into the Clinton Administration to find a good number of them. Nothing says 'Change' like a return of the legions of Clinton Zombies who had served so well that Al Gore couldn't even win his OWN STATE in a time of peace and prosperity, and was reduced to trying to sue his way into the White House.

Leon Pannetta, Rahn Emannuel, Eric Holder, and if that's not frightening enough, there's a cavalcade of democratic party stars rumored to be waiting in the wings, whispering this or that piece of sage advice, or angling for jobs: Jimmy Carter, Jamie Gorelick, Donna Brazille, Joe "The Raging Dumbass" Biden. Some change.

Whatever economic plan Obama and his team managed to write on the back of a cocktail napkin and presented as a serious solution to our economic woes sounds as if it came right out of a Soviet Three Year Plan, one that college students are obliged to read about in their textbooks: massive government 'investment' in Green Energy -- an industry which has, to date, not delivered a single result to ever match it's claims -- a return of FDR's Public Works Programs, Nationalization of the Banks and selected (union-dominated) Industries on a scale, and in such brazen fashion, that it would have made the Nazis blush with envy.

Change? We're trying the same things that have been tried in various countries since the 1930's; they didn't work then, they sure as hell won't work now. We're being lectured to on Capitalism by the Chinese and Russians, for Christ's sake! I'm sure everyone in the White House has read Das Kapital, but has anyone there read The Wealth of Nations?

Don't even get me started on how it is that Candidate Obama and President Obama are polar opposites on Gitmo Detainees, The Surge, Raising Debt Ceilings, Bush Tax Cuts (he's now changed positions on these, by my count, three times), talking about ending two wars, but then starting a third, etc, etc. I guess it's easy to criticize when you're ignorant of reality than it is when you're in full possession of the facts -- or at least when you're trying to get someones job, only to find out it's not all it's cracked up to be. In the end, it looks as if you're making it up as you go along, flying by the seat of your pants, confused, uncertain, disinterested.


This guy always seems to be two or three steps behind the curve on everything. Everything comes as a surprise, every issue or crisis is one that is unforeseen, and is preceded or followed with the adjective 'unexpectedly!'. He doesn't know what to do about Egypt. He doesn't know what to do about Libya. He doesn't realize that governments don't run economies, businesses do. He doesn't know what to do about much of anything, and when he tries to explain what action he does/doesn't take, no one buys it. We see right through it all.

Too smart for his own good? A complex thinker? Not by half. Barack Obama would have made a good insurance salesman. There's no shame in that; the world needs insurance salesmen. But a deep thinker? a Complex personality? A mathematician's ability to juggle variables in his head? On what fucking planet?

What Barack Obama is -- to use a poker analogy --  is a guy who's had his bluff called when he's short-stacked, and has but one option left: to go All In; he talked the talk, so the American people gave him an opportunity to walk the walk, and then it became apparent that Obama WAS, indeed, nothing but talk, and even then, he was given the benefit of the doubt seeing as how he was walking into a gigantic mess; maybe,some hoped, he would grow into the job?

No such luck. If anything, Barack Obama has shrunk while in the job, which is a pity almost beyond words. It was a task that he was not prepared for. Attempts to spin Obama's deer-in-the-headlights performance by resort to the well-worn political columnist's trick of "he's too smart for most people to understand", "he's too complex", "it's bad communications", "he's a deep thinker" are outright distortions of the truth, and that a newspaper columnist should have the audacity to promote such distortions as serious reportage/editorial is an absolute outrage.
Before firing Dana Millbank, his bosses should kick his ass for being a dipshit.

Dana Millbank's job is to present the facts; not trot out the shop-worn "He's too smart for us" bullshit in an attempt to explain away or paper over what is, already, a failed Presidency. We've been there and done that with other political figures; Hillary Clinton and Jimmy Carter, for example, and it wasn't true then, either. What makes anyone think the third time's a charm?

About Egypt...

For over a week now, my television screen has been poisoned by the pictures of tens of thousands of Egyptians in the streets of Cairo demanding the removal of their President-for-Life, Hosni Mubarak. If there's a silver lining in this particular set of Muslims-rioting-in-the-streets footage, it is this: at least I haven't had to look at or listen to President Marriot-Suites 500 times a day (again) making the case that Reparations-for-Slavery-Disguised-as-Wise-Economic-Policy has been an absolute godsend for the American people.

(I watched some of that much-vaunted Bill O'Reilly vs. Barack Obama interview prior to the Super Bowl, and I will say this about it: Obama hasn't any real core principles. He simply says whatever he thinks he needs to say at any given moment. That has been obvious for the last three years to anyone with basic brainstem functions, so it wasn't as if O'Reilly got anything new out of him, and if it wasn't already crystal clear to you before, it should be after yesterday's tour-de-force of bullshit: Barack Obama has no answers to whatever question or problem is put before him).

What is happening in Egypt at the moment was, up to a point, entirely predictable. Which is why our government, press, intelligence and diplomatic services all seem to have been taken by surprise. Even the dumbest people on this planet, given time, will eventually get fed up with some situation and then decide to do something about it, even if they're not quite certain as to what they're pissed about, or what to do about it. I'm not going to pontificate on whether or not Mubarak is a prince amongst Men, or the worst sort of douchebag, because I have no first-hand experience, and because I know that at least 80% of what passes for information on the nightly newscast is someone's opinion, rather than facts. Mubarak's record, so far as I'm concerned, is not germane to the argument I'm about to make. I'm fairly sure that given the mold from which the typical Middle Eastern potentate is cast, he's probably the second-biggest Dick in the Universe, it being a toss-up as to whether Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, or Micheal Bloomberg deserves that title.

Egyptians are fed up with slowly starving to death. They are fed up with a country that is a police state in all but name. They have tired of a President who's appearance of a democratically-elected term of Office seems to have run nearly one third of his lifespan. He's an old man, now, which in the rough-and-tumble of what passes for politics in that part of the world, makes him vulnerable. Like the aged jackal which can no longer hunt or scavenge and which becomes vulnerable to the hyenas all around it. Yeah, yeah, spare me thee-mails; I did just compare the entire population of the Middle East to predatory canines. It fits. They certainly smell like offal-scavenging, predatory canines.

Anywhoo, the one thing that becomes painfully clear to anyone who is watching and paying attention is that despite all the lip-service being paid to "democracy" by some of those protesters, it's that no one in Egypt actually knows what democracy is, and it's even more apparent that no in in the White House knows what it is, either. So, all you talking heads on television can shut the fuck up about whether Obama makes a "powerful" statement in support of the Egyptian "democracy" movement. For a start, no such movement exists (more on this in a second), and secondly, because Obama talks so much that no one actually gives a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about anything he has to say. There is no "statement" -- "powerful" or not -- that does any good in this situation. More than anything, the moment requires action more than grand elocution, and when it comes to action, well, that's not Obama's strong suit; he's not a doer.

And his elocutions are usually written by somebody else, too.

As to what actions I would take -- since I've opened my mouth -- you don't want to know what I would do. Suffice to say, the only way you'd ever be able to know there was such a place as Egypt when I was done, would be a visit to a museum. The same for Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, et. al. But, I digress.

For those of you who are beginning to buy the "democratic movement arises in Egypt" theme the American Press so fervently hopes to spin you with no actual facts to back that assertion up, I say this: you are engaged in wishful thinking, for there can be no democracy -- as we would understand it -- in the Middle East. There are no democratic institutions, for a start, and they could not be magically created overnight (see: Iraq). Sure, Egyptians could vote, but that's not the same thing. Purple fingers do not a democracy make, despite what George W. Bush and Barack Obama have told us. In fact, if given the chance to vote in fair, democratic elections, Egyptians are likely to do what the Palestinians and Lebanese have done, and....vote for the Terrorists and Islamonazis amongst them.

It's predictable. It's inevitable. It's what their culture compels them to do, because they don't know any better. When the smoke clears, and Mubarak and the other despots in the region who are also under threat from this nascent "freedom movement" are gone, we're likely to see even worse forms of government arise. "The Shah always falls", the saying goes, and what usually follows him is likely to be our worst nightmare. That part is always unspoken.

When someone speaks of "democracy" in the Middle East, what they're really talking about is the means by which people will willingly vote to destroy any vestiges, or possibility, of Freedom. At the moment, all the talk about "Freedom" in Egypt is little more than people using this month's new buzzword. A society which has no history of Freedom, which has gone from Pharaohs, to Caliphates, to Foreign Occupation, to Presidents-for-Life, all of it overshadowed by the threat of force, is a land totally devoid of even the simplest idea of what freedom is.

Primarily, Freedom is the ability to ask the simplest of questions -- Why? -- without getting a less-than-social visit from the Death Squads, Gestapo, or Clerical Authority intent on stamping out heresy. Heresy, in this case, being not strictly limited in it's scope to strictly religious subjects. In a place where it is illegal, perhaps even deadly, to question secular authority as well as religious, Freedom cannot exist. The foundation of Freedom is that ability to ask "Why?", and then get an answer from an authority which is compelled by force of Custom and Law to provide an answer that doesn't involve firing squads or false confessions signed under threat of continued beatings in a dank basement cell.

A very interesting aspect of this whole "What Happens in Egypt Now?" drama being played out on the television is the differences in point of view between so called Conservatives and so-called Liberals. The ersatz-Conservatives worry about "what comes next", while the ersatz-Liberals openly question why their Great Man of History, Barack Obama, has been relatively silent. The differences are mainly between people who;

a) wish to convince us that they're intellectuals, in all ways smarter than we,

b) wish to give the appearance of substance to their act of pretending to be intellectuals

And in neither case does either side come close to accomplishing their goal.

For Conservatives, the question "What Happens in Egypt Now", revolves around a binary star of Right-Wing bugaboos; the fate of Israel, and the need to prove that George W. Bush was right, all along. The Israel question is a difficult one, because it requires that a Right-Wing intellectual balance his Reason while never telling the truth about his real attachment to Israel. On the one hand, he has to argue that Israel is a Western-style, pluralistic society in a region where no others exist, and that on that basis it is the task of the United States to do everything in it's power to protect and support such a state, because in so doing, we live up to our ideals about freedom. Intellectually, this is a powerful argument, and in my opinion, absolutely true.

However, there is a strong element in American Right-Wing politics which sees Israel not so much as a democratic flower in a desert of despotism, as much as it sees in Israel the fulfillment of God's Prophecy, for without the State of Israel to build that Third Temple, the primary requirement for the Rapture cannot occur, and these religious idiots will be stuck here on Earth with all us sinners for eternity. For them, the preservation of Israel is a means by which to bring about Armageddon. Any threat to Israel threatens to delay what God hath ordained. They can't come out and say it, because these are largely the same people who decry the Islamic Theocratic states, and people in glass houses, etc, etc. It's why Mike Huckabee broadcast his weekly dreck from Israel this weekend, you know, when there was apparently no reason to do so (guess who is running for the GOP nomination in 2012, and just burnished his Godbot credentials on the backs of Egyptian protesters?)

Conservatives have a third reason for giving a turd about what happens to the sandy little buttholes in Egypt, too. This has to do with proving the point that George W. Bush was essentially correct without having to tell the truth about how half-assed his efforts truly were, that the Reverse Domino Theory (topple Saddam Hussein, watch the entire Middle East go democratic) works, and that The War, it's expense and it's sacrifices, Guantanamo, Renditions, all of it, was justified; we were on the side of the Angels all along -- even if we didn't find WMD's or direct links between Saddam and Al'Qaeda. The end result of the American invasion and occupation of Iraq would automatically be Democracy, and "stability", and therefore, less terrorism, more Freedom (vaguely defined) and more commerce. What Conservatives of this ilk never tell you, though, is that so far as they're concerned, "Stability" means nothing more than the free flow of Middle Eastern oil to Western Industry. If you've ever needed proof that even fire-breathing-Freedom-for-Everyone Conservatives will deal with the Devil, here's a short list of them: The House of Saud, The Shah of Iran, Saddam Hussein, The Jordanian Monarchy, Hosni Mubarak.

"Stability" (meaning there is no "trouble") often trumps the call to Freedom, it seems.

For Liberals, the question of "What Happens in Egypt Now" is more about what their self-described Elitist figures of the Mentally-Deranged Cult of Personality do and say. Appearances are always more important than substance in Left-Wing Circles, which is why a great many Liberal Flapping Rectums on the Idiot Box have been gravely disappointed with Obama on this issue. Where are the grand pronouncements from the Oval Office? Why hasn't there been a U.N. Resolution condemning this, but supporting that, and making it perfectly clear that while it apears as if somebody is being admonished and someone is being praised, no one is really taking sides? Where is the Shuttle Diplomacy between Washington and Geneva? Where are the grand-but-empty gestures of Treaties, and Memos and White Papers?

Where are the Kennedyesque, Cuban-Missile-Crisis-Quality, dramatic black-and-White photos of Obama in the White House Situation Room, surrounded by grave-faced dolts who have even less of a clue than he does, passing papers, looking all stern and concerned and Statesmanlike, feverishly "working" to solve a problem they neither understand, or have any workable solution to.

Great Men of History do these things. Whether they achieve anything of consequence is besides the point; they at least have the appearance of Great Men of History, with all the suitable backdrops -- the White House, the U.N. General Assembly Hall, the huddled masses of useless diplomats and sycophantic journalists enthralled by the oratory pearls of a Man Who Speaks Much But Says Little. They go through the motions, only with Drama, and most of that has to be manufactured for strictly domestic consumption.

Liberals don't actually expect Obama to be able to do anything (doing requires action, and ultimately, responsibility, neither quality is in Obama's, nor in the Libtard's in general, character, for that matter), but they wish to be seen as being effective, as being strong, capable, smart, on top of things, when the truth is that they're really just pretending.

Neither Liberals or Conservatives has an answer for Egypt, primarily because they don't understand, or cannot admit to themselves, the reasons why what has happened has happened. Egyptians are dissatisfied with their lot in life, as people usually are, and what they are crying and bleeding for in the streets of Cairo (just as they did in the streets of Tehran, Beirut, and Damascus) is that they at least want to have the opportunity to choose which demented douchebag inflicts their misery upon them, whether despotic secular or despotic clerical, or a combination of both. This is not, strictly speaking, democracy.

The answer both Libtards and Godbots come up with is essentially the same: a newer, kindlier-and-gentler version of the White Man's Burden, in which "enlightened" Westerners gently nudge (on the one hand with bombs and infantrymen, on the other with grand-but-empty gestures and words) our Islamic-nutjob-retarded-cousins in the "right" direction. Both sides ignore the real problem because the means by which it can be solved is too terrible to contemplate and leaves too many open questions which our so-called Elites cannot answer; how does one change an entire culture?

Because that is the real problem. Islamic culture, an oxymoron if ever there was one, is like a disease. Terrorists and despots are merely the visible signs of it, the pustules or the bad rash that occurs upon infection. The Terminal Phase of this affliction begins with shouts in the streets and ends with airliners being plowed into office buildings. One side believes the disease can be dealt with by simple comparison and learning lessons from with the West and calls to reason, and the other believes that it can be cured with good intentions, greeting card slogans, and dreams of Rainbows, Pixie Dust and Purple Unicorns.

Ultimately, the best solution lies in something far more sinister and destructive, which is a Pan-Islamic Asswhipping followed by a 200-year Cultural Enema, delivered by a strong, untied, and determined West. George W. Bush was correct in this assumption, but he didn't follow through and make his War on Terror a Terrible War, which might have begun the process of radically changing Islamic culture (just ask Japan and Nazi Germany how that worked out for them in the long run). Neither side in this Great Debate has to courage or the intellectual honesty to speak that truth, or even to acknowledge it, because in so doing they both trip all over their most cherished dogmatic beliefs, and would have to, necessarily, reveal their true motivations.

Whatever happens in Egypt is none of our business, insofar as Egyptians have the right to be led astray and given the shaft by anyone they chose. So far as I can see, if the protesters are successful, and Mubarak is chased from office, all they will have accomplished is a choice between Bad and Worse; another dictator-for-life, or another version of the Khomeini Revolution, but they will not have fundamentally altered either the source or the severity of the cancer which eats away at them. They will not have changed themselves or their culture.

When the American punditocracy (a.k.a The Flapping Rectums) asks the question in another decade, "Who Lost Egypt?", the first people they'll look to blame will be the American political class, but the real culprits will have been the Egyptians themselves.

Personally, I hope they all turn on each other and spend the rest of the century killing one another (their only real talent), because it saves us the trouble of having to do it ourselves. However, if I'm wrong (it's been known to happen from time to time) and there is a glimmer of hope that what is now happening in Egypt can evolve into something approaching a true democratic nation, then by all means, let it happen. Stay out of it. We can't do it for them; they have to figure this out -- and even perhaps fight it out --for themselves.

Of Rats and Sinking Ships...

Sometimes, you wish the rats would stay aboard just a little longer, and go down with the ship.

But rats have no sense of loyalty, and apparently, neither do New York Times opinion columnists. They also have no shame, or sense of propriety.

These idiots praised Obama to the heavens, and it's only now, when after two years they haven't gotten their full-frontal socialism yet (complete with gulags for the republicans, conservatives and Tea Party) do they finally get around to telling the truth about the Turd-Polisher-in-Chief.

Obama has no vision.

Really? Whatever gave it away, Mr Krugman? Mr. Friedman?

No wonder the only time I see the New York Times is when some vagrant is wiping his ass in a public park with it. These guys get paid to spew utter bullshit, and I don't?

Tom Friedman and Paul Krugman are the epitome of the Flapping Rectum class. With any luck, when the Obama Titanic Team finally goes down with the ship, they can take these two with them.

Douchebag of the Week (9/6/10): Geraldo Rivera...

Geraldo Rivera is celebrating 40 years of the Mighty Morphin' Mustache in the Media. Good for him, I guess; it's not often that someone can say they've done something so incredibly useless for so long and that it can be spun as a cause for celebration, but this highly-publicized, week-long Victory Lap of his over at FoxNews was already starting to implant a very rancid aroma in my nostrils even before it took it's turn for the absolute worst last night.

Because Geraldo took the cameras into his home, to show you what life at the Rivera Compound was all about.

I want to say up front that I don't dislike Geraldo; Nature, unfortunately, needs parasites, and if you're going to earn your considerable personal fortune by wallowing in the misery of others, then it behooves you to be the best damned misery pimp you can be, and Geraldo has definitely succeeded in that regard. I mean, who can forget all the classic moments of a career devoted to the lowest common denominator: the Manson interviews, the infamous Klan Chair-throwing incident, the over-hyped Vault of Al Capone, the providing of vital intelligence to the enemy over the air from the front lines of Iraq and Afghanistan, and my personal favorite, making certain the cameras caught the man tossed into the Mississippi by the tempestuous flood waters of Katrina?

Granted, I'm probably not going to jump into a raging river at the height of a Cat 5 hurricane myself, but Geraldo did at least have the decency to yell at his police escort to "do something" about that guy in the water. It's a sad commentary when the police in New Orleans at such a time have to escort Geraldo about. But then again, it's not like the NOPD was actually out doing their real job at the time.

You always get the impression with Geraldo that it's about HIM, even when he's claiming to be the Champion of the Common Man, or the new Ernie Pyle to the men at the front, and just in case you might have forgotten that Geraldo is, indeed, the Ninth Wonder of the World, he made certain that you received that impression...

...by giving you a tour of his luxurious home. Our reward for all of our "support" over the last 40 years was to be invited into the Inner Sanctum, where Geraldo enjoys the fruits-of-his-labors-at-the-expense-of-others. An opulent retreat with a 10-story-high roof-top swimming pool, the "Me Wall" with all his awards bestowed by other members of the Flapping Rectum Classes, the Rec-Room full of designer furniture and huge flat-screen televisions, the original masterpiece paintings on the wall, the exquisite sculptures, and of course, the Boat.

It's exactly what Americans living in a time of dire economic uncertainty just pine to see, obviously. We're supposed to be giddy and impressed with Geraldo's collection of stuff when many of us are having difficulty keeping the lights burning and the house from being foreclosed on? For someone who claims to be the ultimate Advocate for Joe Sixpack, it was in shockingly poor taste to rub our collective noses in your wealth.

I was impressed by his family; his wife is a stunner, and his daughter is as cute-as-a-button, and it's not their fault that they live as they do. None of this is not directed at them, only at Pimp Daddy Rivera.

I can't think of a single way in which Geraldo Rivera has enriched or improved my life, or the general welfare, with what he calls "investigative journalism". Prior to last night, I never gave it,nor what he does, much thought. Now it's front-and-center after last night's tour-de-force of The Mustache, and the only thing I'm grateful to Geraldo for is that I didn't barf up the beef-and-bean burrito I was eating at the time; he showed enough restraint to at least not make us totally envious with the gold-plated toilets and diamond-encrusted dinnerware.

Frankly, I'm not entirely sure where one would get the idea that Joe Average wants to be given a tour of all-the-shit-that-you-have-that-he-never-will, but after a few decades of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, the Real Housewives of Chillicothe, Jersey Shore and MTV Cribs, I can only surmise that someone does or else the networks, and TV personalities, wouldn't indulge in this sort of nonsense. There's a pathology at work here; the Have-nots, certainly must be envious of the Haves, but what makes them want to torture themselves by being reminded of how poor they are in comparison? Especially NOW?

The other side of that coin is what makes the Haves think they're doing us a favor by showing it to us? And if you'll allow me a third-side-of-the-coin for rhetorical purposes, why is it that, as a culture, we find it necessary to so richly reward someone in this fashion for what amounts to posturing before a camera? Even at his best, Geraldo is all sizzle and no steak.

And here he is, celebrating a career built upon vacationing in another's misery, as someone much smarter and more famous that I am once called it.

Perhaps if Geraldo were actually a Journalist, instead of someone who makes his living interviewing the worst mass-murders, presenting farce-as-fact, contriving confrontations in order to boost his ratings, and mentioning Joran Van Der Sloot every five minutes (at least Greta waits a dignified 15 minutes between Natalee Holloway references), I would be, if not truly happy for Geraldo and perhaps maybe amazed that he's been the integral part of my life that he believes himself to be, then I could, at least a bit more tolerant of him.

But last night was the deal-breaker for me. Thanks for reminding me of just how unfair life really is, and rubbing your wealth in my face! I guess I should be grateful you didn't parade the servants out and introduce them to us; here's Consuela the housekeeper, Manuel the Gardener, Ernesto the Fruit Polisher, and Edwardo, Keeper of the Privy Stool.

You may be flogging a book in which you postulate that Hispanics are the future of America (as if! People from a manana culture who don't value education, the law, or hygiene, don't have a future, anywhere!), but I'm betting there's at least one Undocumented Domestic that you haven't paid Social Security taxes on somewhere in that vast expanse of mansion, which makes you a hypocrite.

For 40 years of making your fat-dumb-and-happy living off the misery of others, for being a total douche who believes that I actually want to see the interior of your luxurious domicile that puts the Kennedy Compound to utter shame, for believing that you are far more important to the history of the culture than you truly are, I nominate you, Geraldo Rivera, as Douchebag of the week.

A Pox on Both Their Houses...

Democraticans and Republicrats, and why they both suck. Angelo Codevilla is very quickly working his way into my Personal Olympus with Dr. Hanson and Mark Steyn. This was posted a month ago, but the Spectator is posting it again, and should probably do so for the rest of eternity.


It's a bit long, but you'd better damn-well read it! Definitely worth the time.

This Just In: Keith Olbermann is a Dickhead...

As if any more proof were required? Keefy just can't help himself, can he? He proves himself to be a Flapping Rectum of the first rank every time he opens his mouth. It only ceases to be funny and take a turn for the tragic when he does so without any facts to back his assertions up. Which is quite often.

And does that look like a woman who dodged questions and then ran from the event?

Someone pays this jerk a lot of money,too. Makes you wonder about the sanity and judgement of management...if you're a GE Stockholder.

By the way, you really should subscribe to PJTV and make it one of your everyday websurfing stops, because it's awesome.

Something Annoying...

With regards to the double-edged sword of Obama Criticism by those "on the right";

We hear almost every day that President Odickhead is in over his head. He lacks Executive Experience, and this makes him an ineffective leader, as well as contributes to his confusion about how "government should work". We are beginning to hear the brilliant formulation that Obambi "never really wanted this job" (nah, he only spent half-a-billion of other people's money, and invented 57 states to visit, and took all the Birther and Jeremiah Wright stuff for shits and giggles). They suggest that, maybe, he takes far too many vacations and breaks, because he's not up to the task of governing? He's totally unqualified for the office, runs roughshod over the Constitution leading some to question if he has ever even read it. He's a tool of the Left -- or worse -- of the Evil Triad of Emanuel, Pelosi and Reid.

That's when he isn't a total tool of the Unions and the environMENTALISTS, and George Soros, and that when he isn't mollycoddling terrorists and bowing to foreign potentates. He's a Manchurian Candidate from Hawaii and Indonesia, sent to restore the Comintern. He's capable of trying to turn the United States into a New Soviet Union (on a bad day), or a new Greece (on a good one), apparently all by himself, and despite his lack of acumen and ability, which is just an act, you know.

They complain that his "vision" is Un-American, that term typically being defined by the same people who bought George W. Bush's "Jesus is my favorite political philosopher" spiel. American-ess is now being judged by what church you attend, whether or not you wear the flag on your lapel, and all that which passes muster with a crowd of people, who, if they could, would burn fags at the stake, and frog-march abortionists to the ovens. And do so cheerfully if their Pastor told them it was the will of the Almighty. He's arrogant, continually turning a deaf ear to the will of the"American People".

Why, Barack Obama is perhaps the worst thing to happen to America since Jimmy Carter, Disco and the Pet Rock hit us all in the same decade. He is an unmitigated disaster of Biblical Proportions, so bad that even the people in Zimbabwe, Sudan, Outer Mongolia and East Buttfuck, Bangladesh laugh at us. He is a a National Embarrassment, so much so that even the 52% who actually voted for this douchebag are ashamed to admit it in public.

Why,Obama is soooo godawfully-bad that he's made it perfectly safe for Black Conservatives to come out of the woodwork, show themselves at Tea Parties, and even to call for his Impeachment in public.

Then, when something happens (an Oil Spill, a foiled Terrorist Attack, and so forth), and the man who isn't qualified to run the local Taco Bell, who has no business being in the White House for his lack of experience and qualifications, the Man with the Absolute Worst Judgement on Planet Earth, somehow becomes the Only Man on Earth who can and should provide "leadership". And he gets hammered when he can't do it.

Suddenly, when it becomes convenient, the Punditocracy on the Right demands that He be everything they say He cannot, nor ever, be.

Now, I agree that Barack Obama will go down in history as the worst American President Evah, provided we aren't all made extinct by an Iranian or North Korean nuke. He is probably the last Black Man who will ever reach such heights in my lifetime, setting the cause of Civil Rights back 100 years. He will, historians will say, have done the impossible:Obama will have made George W. Bush seem Regal, John McCain seem saner, and Hillary Clinton appear to have been the better choice all along. He will have made Sarah Palin a billionaire and Kingmaker of the Right. He will have made Jimmy Carter appear to have been smarter than he ever was, and Joe Biden seem a goddamned statesman of the First Rank.

It's apparent to me that Barack Obama couldn't lead a three-year old to the crapper without a Blue-Ribbon Commission and a 2,500-page piece of legislation that no one will read before voting on, and only after he's made a dozen Potemkin-village stops to rally the Union Workers being paid to attend the rally and feign enthusiasm. I get it. I got it a very long time ago. However, could we PLEASE stop with the endless parade of "conservative" flapping rectums on TV who make the wild swing from "Obama's Utterly Incompetent" to "Obama Should Suddenly Get Competent"?

Quite frankly, I'm damned happy that he's not"engaged". I'm ecstatic that he plays golf three times a week and makes as much time for the wife and kids as he can. I'm tickled to death that he spends half his time flying from staged-event-to-staged-event, re-fighting battles that have already been won (that, incidentally, is the stock-in-trade of the Civil Rights/Community Organizer crowd. It's what they do because they are allergic to original thought and hard work) . I'm so happy I could shit that Obama spends less time in the Oval Office than the (presumably) Illegal Alien who cleans it every night.

Why?

Because an "engaged" Obama always results in higher taxes, more government, the destruction of the free enterprise system, transparent pandering to every "victim" group under the Sun, charges of racism where none exist, panic in the markets, uncertain Allies, more-brazen enemies, more debt, fewer jobs, more misery. When Obama is not thinking "wouldn't it be cool if...." , and then actually working to see it come to fruition, I feel safer, and better. Imagine what kind of damage he could do if he were actually qualified for the job...and trying!

I understand the nature of political criticism is "damned if you do, damned if you don't", but the recent criticism seems, to someone who actually agrees with most of it, to be exceedingly gratuitous. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's like kicking three-legged, blind puppies. It's like hunting turtles with a power drill. It's that's easy, and requires little in the way of sophisticated thought, or preparation. It's getting to be almost as annoying as those stupid horns at the World Cup. You can't make the case for incompetence one day, and then --mystically -- demand it from the man the next, and expect me to take you seriously.

I'm not defending Il Doofay, nor his Insane Clown Posse. They deserve most of what they get. I'm just annoyed at the pundits who apparently assume we're all dummies who need to be reminded every day of just what is happening (or not happening) in this country.

Quod erat demonstrandum -- the thing speaks for itself. You can make a point or two for the really dense people in the room -- the ones who might be obsessed with 16 and Pregnant, or Jersey Shore, but the rest of us don't need the constant repetition and Power Point slide shows. This continual hammering upon a single theme is, in part, why Republicans lost so badly in 2008 -- they did the same thing and repeated the"the terrorists will get you"meme 700 times a day. Eventually, it turns people off, even the ones who agree with you, because it wearies the ears.

Now, as for the flapping rectums on the Left, who go out there to defend President Asshole -- You've pissed me off, too.

I'm getting rather tired and annoyed with you, too. While the Right-wingers get on the TV and yap-yap-yap like poodles, ad nauseum, about what is painfully obvious to a brain-damaged hedgehog, you guys simply look into a camera and lie. There's not even a question as to whether or not you're being truthful, because your pronouncements defy the evidence of my eyes and ears. I can tell you don't even believe the crap you spout, because you look so ridiculous trying to defend it. There was one democratic dickhead on Fox last night who tried to brazen out the fallacious idea that Barack Obama was the best thing to happen to America since penicillin.

That he looked guilty as hell as he did it -- like a schoolboy who has wet his pants in the presence of the Headmaster -- that he gave you not the slightest indication that any of his defense was waged with any real conviction. It was too much to hide from the camera. I realize that this is your bread-and-butter, but goddamn it, at least try to make a logical case for what you argue instead of trying to turn turds into silver coins, and when you can't even make a good argument, then at least have the good grace to shut the fuck up.

I suppose that we're reduced to this 3rd-grade level of political criticism (on both sides) because this is, for better or worse, a country inhabited by mouth-breathing morons. This is the same public who pays far too much attention to some publicity-whore dipshit with 8 kids, or which considers NASCAR, Lady Gaga and American Idol to be entertainment of the highest caliber. I understand that we have created a country full of idiots, run by and for the benefit of idiots, and that, therefore, our political discourse will naturally be idiotic. It's not in the least to be wondered at that the people who make their livings on criticism will often be bigger idiots, themselves (The Poli-Sci majors and ex-lawyers who make up the Punditocracy often turn out to be the biggest, dumbest, assholes you'll ever meet. They're like fanatical ex-smokers, the In-crowd that snubbed you in High School, and Jehovah's Witnesses all-rolled-up-into-one).

I'm just wondering when intelligence will make it's way back into our conversations -- on any subject at all -- and this cheap, "gotcha!" opportunism, from both parties, will come to an end.

Maybe I'm asking for too much?

Sanctimonious Twaddle...

There are a few things I really dislike about Google Ad Sense, which I use on this site as a (very meager) supplement to my income. The first thing I dislike is that you can't control what ads appear on your blog. The software picks and chooses subjects off your blog, and then generates advertisements based on what you've posted. That's why I can make a post that, say, excoriates Islam as a pernicious disease worse than Syphilis, and within five minutes Google ads will begin appearing advertising Islamic goods, Paperback Korans, or a cure for Gonorrhea.

I can't stop that from happening, and I apologize to those who come here and become confused by my apparent hypocrisy ("How can you criticize X, and then accept their advertising money....?"). So far as I know, short of turning Ad Sense off, there is no way to prevent some of those contradictory ads, and in any case, they usually seem to disappear in a day or two, as new subjects are added.

Except for the fucking legal ads.

For some reason, the legal ads keep coming, and I haven't posted anything about lawyers for three or four days, now, and come to think of it, that may have been the first post on lawyers in about three years. As of this morning, there were three full pages of legal ads linked to my site. I hate lawyers. They are less useful than warts, and not even half-as-attractive. They exist, as an ex-girlfriend (who practiced contract law) once told me "To make often-ridiculous arguments in the most anal-retentive of ways, and then overcharge for it, win or lose". She was a complete cunt (yes Ladies, I know you find that word offensive, but it's the only one that truly gives her her due) .

Lawyers have done family members wrong -- like the divorce attorney who inventoried my mother's assets for her divorce settlement, and then used that information to drive her into bankruptcy court in order to collect his fees. He lost the divorce case (despite the fact that her 2nd husband had abandoned her, and emptied their joint accounts without her knowledge, she received no spousal support, and was required to take a second mortgage in order to buy the bum out of the house they had purchased together). But somehow, no lawyer would advocate on her behalf on the ethics charges she planned to file, because this particular scum was the Chairman of some Bar committee or other, and no Attorney worth his weight in turds wanted to cross him.

So, it's highly-annoying to see three or four days -- with no end in sight --worth of legal ads appearing on this site promoting a profession that I hate so much. I had hoped that by encouraging readers to click all the legal ads, and then not giving anyone any business, someone might catch on that this was perhaps not the best use of advertising funds, and the ads will eventually stop (and not just on my site). The exact opposite has occurred -- there are now more legal ads than ever on this site (and I encourage you to click every goddamned one! The only way to truly stop it is to make the slugs waste their advertising money!).

Curiosity overwhelms sometimes, and I just have to see who these Legal Paragons offering such fantastical services are--and by the way, you would think none of them EVER lost a case to judge from the ads -- and what they're all about. I probably shouldn't have.

There's the one douchebag who offers a "No-fault Divorce" starting at $99.00 -- but then he advertises a $599.00 Bankruptcy right beneath it. Hmmm, that's sort of like what happened to my mother, so I gather this is a standard practice; get your client a crappy, quickie-divorce decree, then drive them into bankruptcy court to collect? You also have to laugh at the ones who place a picture of the Palace of Versailles, or some similarly imposing, Imperial-looking edifice on their banner, in order to give the impression that they're some ultra-successful Law Firm, when they're Three People Who Barely Passed the Bar, Working Out of An Office Above a Storefront.

If you were really that successful and powerful as to work out of a Baroque-style Imperial Palace -- in Akron, Ohio, to judge by the phone number -- I can promise you that you wouldn't be advertising an industrial-process, discount-rate-slip-and-fall-ambulance-chasing-scam on the internet.

But the one who really took the cake was the Sanctimonious Asswipe with a J.D. who included this bit of honeyed wisdom, a truly Homeric Bullshit Paean to the Legal Profession, in his ad:

"Discourage Litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often the real loser -- in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a Peacemaker, the Lawyer has the opportunity of being a good man..."

It's difficult to see how anyone can take you seriously after that virtuoso display of absolute sanctimony and hypocrisy. What's worse, is that bit of oratory was uttered by no less a personage than Abraham Lincoln, who has now fallen a few pegs in my Pantheon of Really Cool Historical Figures.

Do We Really Need A Congress?

I watched some of the posturing about BP CEO Tony Hayward this afternoon, and based on that performance my answer would have to be a resounding "NO". At least not if it meant that if we kept Congress, we'd have to keep the parade of morons currently there. That bunch of people I saw this afternoon were scary; there wasn't enough intellectual firepower up there to burn calories. The performance, the fake concern, the sarcasm, the posturing, the begging for Hayward to resign, was pathetic.

If none of those people aren't already sterile, we should probably make it a requirement for public office. After all, we spay and neuter house cats, so why not Congresscritters? But I digress...

Let's get something straight: Mr. Hayward did himself no good today, either. His company, which is already on my List of 10,000-Least-Favorite-Things-After-Ebola, is in deeper shit than I might have thought possible. If the e-mails that the Congresscritters were jabbering about today are any indication -- e-mails which contain complaints about safety from members of the drilling team, hints about cost-cutting, and internal memos which paint a picture of a company that was in total disarray, where the executives don't know what the workforce does, where the line-managers seem to be cowboys, and this was before the disaster -- are anything close to true, BP will probably cease to exist.

And that is as it should be; that's the Free Market at work. Companies that fuck up go out of business, it's just a shame that Congress can only remember that when they have a convenient foreign whipping boy willing to be shaken down to the tune of $20 billion just to keep the lawyers at bay (for now), and conveniently forgot it when Citibank, General Motors or AIG -- whose executives contributed to the campaign coffers of every Congressional Retard on the Hill -- were at the helm of their own disasters.

But don't get the idea in your head that Congress, by exposing BP's internal e-mails and hectoring Hayward with questions they knew he wasn't going to answer was actually doing anything that will prevent another Gulf Oil Spill, plug the damned hole, or clean up a solitary shoreline.

They just kept asking Hayward questions in an attempt to get something on record with which to clobber him later on. It's an old lawyer's trick, and it's how they eventually got Martha Stewart, you know. They want to lock Hayward into a story so that when the facts eventually do come out (especially the ones that show the government asleep at the switch, or which catch the regulatory agencies at their usual dumb-as-dogshit best), they'll be able to dance around those inconvenient revelations by hammering Hayward over "changes in his story".

BP is not off the hook, as far as I'm concerned, but the dog-and-pony show these last few days with the oil industry being beaten up in the public square so that complete and utter dingleberries can look "concerned" and "tough" and "in command", is an even sadder sight than seabirds slathered in crude oil.

Especially that asshat Joseph Cao, who started all that stuff about hara-kiri. If I remember correctly, Cao was one of the republican votes for ObamaCare, so maybe he'd care to demonstrate the proper technique for the rest of us? At least it would spare us his fake sanctimony and transparent grandstanding. Incidentally, Cao is Vietnamese, I think, and hara-kiri (more properly called "seppaku") is Japanese. Vietnamese don't kill themselves: they surrender to the nearest communists they can find and then take to rickety boats to save their worthless asses...at least the ones who eventually grow up to be Congressmen, that is. Cao is the Republican Party's answer to Anthony Weiner.

I know we have to keep a Congress, if only because if we didn't have one the President of the United States would become a dictator...oh, wait, that's already happened...but do we have to keep this one, and give them excuses to stage trials, asking questions (written by aides who did some actual research) of people who know even less than they do?

After that disgusting display, I'm of the mind that all 535 members of both Houses would be more useful if they stopped shovelling their usual nonsense, and hit a Gulf Coast beach to shovel tar balls, instead.

Certainly, BP should be punished for whatever it has done, or failed to do. The time for that, however, will be after they manage to plug the hole in the Gulf and start the cleanup in earnest, because there is no other entity at present who can do either. The Federal Government is inept, and it's hands are tied by bureaucratic bullshit, legalities, and the fact that public employees don't work very hard, or display much initiative. So, lay off BP, especially with the lawyer's tricks and the third-degree bullshit, until they've done what you need them to do.

The fucking lawsuits can wait.

But then I guess if there weren't this Show Trials, some people (mostly the Press, which is an even bigger crowd of idiots than Congress) would ask "where's the government in all this?", and those jerkoffs on Capitol Hill would have no answer. At least now they can claim to have "grilled Tony Hayward and asked him tough questions on the record...", which at least keep them occupied long enough so that they weren't trying to figure out how to tax us to pay for penile implants for illegal aliens.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the leak, or clean up one drop of oil. How much you wanna bet that every one of those flapping rectums will make certain the video of today's puppet show appears in their campaign commercials this fall, though?

BP can't plug the hole fast enough, and 2012 can't come soon enough.

Reparations Is Paid...

Count on JammieWearingFool to put it all into perspective for us! In this post, he links to three videos in which the viewpoint of the typical Obama voter is laid bare; They voted for this guy to get "free" shit.

Take note of just who these people are. I'll give you three hints:

1. They belong to a certain minority community, which despite three generations of Civil Rights legislation, Affirmative Action, and a shitload of welfare and education set-asides and spending, still believes it's entitled to everything on someone else's dime, and that honest effort is either "Acting White" or for suckers.

2. Notice how clueless they are as to where the money comes from. They know how to spend it, of course, usually on crack, rims, gold-plated grillz or patent-leather sneakers, that's when they aren't making the difficult and heartbreaking choice between purchasing that hair extension or the baby's formula. If you ask them where they think money comes from, they either don't know, or shrug their shoulders and say "The Government" -- as if the government actually produces anything but crap, only at inflated Federal Union wages. I'd say something about money not growing on trees, but then I'd be accused of making racist comments and comparing these folks to certain tree-climbing primates. Next thing you know, some idiot who has appointed himself a "Civil Rights Leader" or "Community Activist" will be picketing in front of my home. And perhaps getting himself shot in the process.

Gee, I hope it's a prominent self-appointed idiot...I could use another Federal Holiday.

3. Remember that THIS is what decades of "Ghetto Sub-Culture" has produced. While white liberals were making the (non-)point that "All cultures are valid...", this particular Sub-Culture was busy breeding legions of idiots, specially-trained to reflexively stick their hands out, who think they are entitled to something for nothing (I wonder just where they got that idea in the first place? Could it have been other White Liberals?).

November can't come soon enough. Right after ObamaCare gets repealed and defunded, maybe we could have another round of Welfare Reform? And then maybe we can return to the days when you had to pass a literacy test before being registered to vote, because after this particular sub-group of cretins is taken care of, there's another bunch right behind them speaking a particular foreign language who'll try the same crap.

Louis Farrakhan is an Idiot...

Yeah, I know: like that's a news flash...

The "Minister" had some very choice words over the weekend at one of those gatherings where the mental patients who make up the Nation of Islam get all dressed up like they're in a Broadway Musical and stew in their racism for a day or two.

You can read about it here.

What the article doesn't mention, because the New York Daily News is run by a bunch of libtards, is that the "Minister" managed to say that (paraphrasing) Whitey is out to Assassinate Barack Obama, and the White Right is determined to make sure Barry is a One-Term President, and naturally, we're determined to do this because we're racists.

Well, the "Minister" is an expert on racism, with just one exception; he can recognize it in everyone but himself.

I don't like Barack Obama, I'll admit. I never did, but I've tried to be fair...and it's really not working for me. Mostly because he's a liar, has already been shown to have been thoroughly unqualified for the job, and he never accepts responsibility for anything...except other people's successes. He's obviously surrounded himself with opportunistic sycophants, who when they aren't telling him how great he is and how he gives Great Speech, are busy running the government in his stead.

King Barack I would rather ride Air Force One to accept Peace Prizes he didn't earn, beg a bunch of Eurotwerps for an Olympic Games for his Chicago Cronies, and make sure Michelle and he can have a Date Night anywhere in the freakin' country at any hour of the day, at taxpayer expense. Barack Obama has spent even less time, I reckon, in the White House actually working than George W. Bush did.

And on some level, I think we might actually be fortunate he's been so reluctant to work. I shudder to think what he might manage to destroy if he was actually trying.

I don't want Obama dead, I just want him gone. If I have to wait until Jan 20, 2013, then that's fine. We've survived LBJ, Carter and Clinton, and we'll survive Barack I. I just hope that in the meantime we can replace as much of the rest of the government as we possibly can by that time through the electoral process so that the damage that Obama manages can be contained.

The reason I don't support Barack Obama has noting to do with him being black (the Minister has conveniently forgotten that Obama is only HALF-black. The rest of him is White. A decade ago, Louis Farrakhan would have said that Barry wasn't "authentically black", but I guess an electoral victory changes everything, huh?). My distaste for Barack Obama has to do with his policies.

When he says "We are the change we've been waiting for..." he's really alluding to a carefully-disguised program of Reparations for black folks.

When he says "Yes We Can!" he really means that he can find ways to throw cash at African Americans in the form of Cash-for-Clunkers, Mortgage Renegotiation schemes that are designed to give houses to people who could never have afforded them in the first place. "Health Care Reform" is designed to give even MORE free health care to people who already get it at someone else's expense. Do you really suppose the single mother who takes her seven children by eight fathers into the Emergency Room for the sniffles pays anything for that visit -- ever -- do you? You don't think the chronically-unemployed 350-pound man who lives on a diet of fatback-ripple -and-two-packs-of-Kools a day who shows up in the cardiac ward twice a year for another double-bypass ever pays for his time in the hospital? You don't imagine that the welfare-and-food-stamp crackhead who finds himself shot on a street corner because the brothers who did the drive-by can't aim straight, and missed the guy sitting 50-yards to his right, ever pays for the massive trauma treatment and surgical bills he's incurred, do you?

When Barack Obama says "Hope and Change..." he means "we hope White folks are either stupid enough, or we can manipulate the irrational guilt of White Liberals enough, to not realize they will be taxed to death in order to "hook a brother up"... and the Change is what'll be left in Whitey's pocket after it's been picked.

When Barack Obama talks about "putting America to work" he truly means make-work government union jobs, which will be given to African Americans disproportionately, so that even the dumbest, laziest bastard in America can earn $60 an hour and not have any result at all expected in return.

That's why I dislike Barack Obama, "Minister". But I certainly don't want him dead. We already have a holiday for a dead black man (who actually deserved the honor), and an entire month in which I have to be assaulted (once again) with the story of how George Washington Carver invented peanut butter and Whitey got rich on it. Get some new propaganda already, will ya?

But this is what the "Minister" does; he spouts complete bullshit knowing that no one is going to call him on it, and that even if they do, the acute psychosis and pathological distrust which affects a certain segment of Black America is so deep that no measure of common sense or logic will ever penetrate it. They believe that racism is so endemic that there's not a single conspiracy theory, any lie, any misrepresentation that they won't swallow whole and take with them to the grave. It's why he can stand up there and tell the tale of having been taken aboard an alien spacecraft and still have people take him seriously, if not regard him as their savior.

It's apparent the aliens didn't anal probe him, as is their wont, because the "Minister" is still full of shit.

Barack Obama will, indeed, be a "one term President", but his race will have nothing to do with it. It will be because he was man totally unprepared for the job, and possessed of the most outrageous, and unconstitutional, theories of how government should work. He'll fail because there isn't a promise he's ever made that he has ever kept; transparency on C-Span, no tax increases for 250k and under, cutting the deficit, tax cut for 95% of Americans, keeping unemployment low as justification for a Stimulus monstrosity, you can keep your own physician, so on and so forth. The economic future of this country looks exceedingly bleak, and the President is spending money that doesn't even exist faster than anyone can even imagine it, let alone print it. This country is rapidly headed for the Zimbabwe Zone. When Barack Obama finally leaves office, it will not be because of some vast "White"-wing conspiracy -- it'll be because he was a rotten President. So bad, in fact, that he almost makes me nostalgic for Jimmy Carter.

What the Black Comm-uuun-itaaay (as Rev. Al calls it) should be worried about, "Minister", is that Barack Obama turns out to be such a rotten President that we never see another Black Person take that Oath of Office ever again -- and not because of race -- but because of the belief that Obama represents the mindset of the average black person. That mindset fairly screams "I'm entitled" without ever mentioning a damned thing about responsibility.

Black are not responsible for high crime rates and prison recidivism, because that's a legacy of slavery. Blacks are not responsible for illiteracy and the destruction of the Public School Systems in their communities because that's a legacy of slavery. Blacks are not responsible for out-of-control rates of bastardy because that's a legacy of slavery. Blacks are not responsible for having a work ethic, because that's a legacy of slavery, therefore, Whitey owes them all a free house, a free car, free health insurance, and a high-paying job where nothing is expected of them, and they shouldn't have to work or pay for any of it --because that's a legacy of slavery, too.

He stands as an example of what is possible in America if people apply their talents and intelligence, and then defeats that positive message by infantilizing his own people. Obama sends out the signal that Blacks don't have to, nor should they, put their talents to work for their own improvement. They should be mindless wards of the State, and someone else should pay for it. And what really rankles, what really chaps our asses, is that we who will write the checks for it all don't get ever the full poop on what he proposes, or even the chance to speak our peace on it. It's just shoved up our asses, sideways, and we're expected to just shut up about it.

That's why Barack Obama will fail, "Minister". That's why we want him gone. That's why he'll be a one-term President.

Maybe the next time you see those aliens, you could ask them to take you with them when they leave?

I Told You So...

RedState no longer wishes to hear from the Birthers or 9/11 Truthers inside the Tea Party.

I told you so.

For those of you who gave me holy hell over my remarks on the subject of a lunatic fringe within the Tea Party these past two weeks; I seem to be vindicated. It's being noticed elsewhere. A pattern is beginning to establish itself and you can no longer hide, be you a lunatic of the Left or Right.

Those of you who filled my e-mail in-box with vicious, unadulterated bullshit -- with The New Testament appended -- can now either kiss my ass or go fuck yourselves. You've been outed. I still support the ideals of the Tea Party movement, but if they don't start weeding some of these mental cases out, it'll be a much tougher sell in the future.

Senator Schmuck...

As if we didn't already know that one Charles Schumer, Senator from New York was an obnoxious human being, The Politico reports this.

I'm certain that if the flight attendant in question had a television camera, Senator Shit-for-brains would have acted very differently. He likes T.V. cameras, our Senator. He spends more time looking for cameras than he does working, and it's one of the reasons why he'll take on every asinine 'issue' you drop in his lap; so long as there's a chance that Charles Schumer can get his name in the paper, or his mug on your T.V. set, he's on it like white on rice.

Off camera, he's an asshole. I'm certain 90% of Congress is that way, it's only that Chuckie's public mask is easier to see through. Even when he's on his best behavior, you can see the streak of dickhead in him.

I love UrbanDictionary.com for just this particular reason. I refer to the good Senator as "Schmuck Schumer", which confuses some people who are not familiar with Yiddish. Here in New York, "schmuck" is part of the everyday vocabulary of most of us. It refers to an extremely stupid person, but UrbanDictionary added this entirely-appropriate definition:

"That portion of one's penis which is cut off during circumcision."

Reason # 5,128 why Your President is a Dickhead...

Afghanistan. The necessary war, you'll recall.

It's a straightforward process, Barry, really. You say we need to win the war there, the necessary war, not the one of choice -- your words, not mine -- then do something about actually winning it.

Oh, we've seen the photographs, the very serious, dramatic photographs of you speaking with your closest advisers in the Situation Room. Your people are good with manipulation of the media like that -- not like it's hard, you know. The media people would eat one of your turds as a sign of undying fealty and then beg for another, so they'll regurgitate whatever you tell them to. But the dramatic photos, even if they are designed to portray you as a serious, deliberative soul, manage to convey another message altogether. That feeling can be summed up, thus;

What the fuck are you people talking about... still?

This is a war that you say is good and necessary. Your own, hand-picked general says it can be won, but he needs another 40,000 grunts to do it. He says this is a critical time, that the next year spells the difference between victory and defeat -- and you've wasted a third of that time in serious deliberation and posing for West Wing-style head shots. Sorry, but Joe Biden in serious-deliberative-Washington-manufactured-crisis-mode photos just doesn't cut it. It actually is a bit creepy.

Shit or get off the pot, Barry.

Oh, right; you want to get off the pot without making it look like you've gotten off the pot? I got news for you; you're already going to lose House and Senate seats in '10, and you're already a lame duck, one-term President, Nothing short of the Republicans nominating Charles Manson for President in '12 (or one of those back-bencher, milquetoast non-entities they're always extolling the 'Conservative' virtues of, like Pawlenty or Huckabee,and I wouldn't put it past the ridiculously-stupid suits at Republican Central to misread the tea leaves and try that one), is going to save you.

You're also caught by your own rhetoric about 'good' wars and your chaotic, incomprehensible foreign policy wherein you call the guy who's running the joint a crook...and then send the Secretary of State to stand with him at his Inauguration.

Anything to get Hillary out of town and away from the microphones, I guess.

If you want to unilaterally surrender, then man up and do it. I know you want to. I see it in your eyes, Barry. You want to please the Berkeley Faculty Lounge, and Code Pink, and the loony wing of your own party so much, but it makes you look all wimpy and stuff. Even more than when Michelle makes it clear she really wears the pants, and shows off her manly-yet-ever-so-femininely-sculpted pythons. It's not Presidential to look wimpy...except when you're bowing to Saudi Princes and Japanese Emperors, and grovelling before the Iranians and Arab Street, and all that; that's not being wimpy, that's extending a hand in friendship or some other tommyrot.

At least that's how it's spun by the flapping rectums over at (P)MSNBC. That's between soundbites about 'exit strategy'. Only liberals (small 'l' intentional) talk about war in terms of how to finish one before you actually start to fight one. It's why they lose wars, badly, after spending a couple of decades and a few tens of thousands of men (see Vietnam).

Anyway, you will be gone, and then unfortunately, the real deliberative, serious, decision-making people (i.e. Adults) who might actually be prepared for this job will have to undo the damage you've done. With luck, it'll take less than 50 years. With luck, they won't have to suffer the impediment of having to repair the damage from another terrorist attack originating in Afghanistan while they do it. Perhaps, by some miracle, they might even find some money to rebuild the country with after that $12 trillion debt you'll leave them.

I know you really only wanted this job for the perks, but, Dude, seriously, the job entails work and the making of difficult decisions, especially where lives are at stake. That's not a cliche, either. There are people being shot at over there so that we don't have to eat kamikaze airliners over here.

Do the right thing, for the first time your life, Shithead. You don't need Michelle's permission, really.

Either send the boys to the battle or don't -- and then man up and tell the truth about how you arrived at your decision. Don't keep the brave men and women already in Afghanistan in suspense; they have a right to know if help and victory are on the way, or if their Commander-in-Chief has decided to fold up the tent and run away.

Why These Freakin' Wounds Never Heal...

I got this via Ann Althouse.

Personal opinion: America's racial divides, the one's that Barack Hussein Obutthead said he could heal and overcome, simply do not go away. No matter how much progress is made in the advancement of civil rights, equality under the law, and economic freedom, there is a subset of the minority communities (basically all of them) that simply cannot wrap their heads around the concept that whatever the country's past sins, they have been paid for, and the lot in life of the descendants of the victims of those sins is infinitely more just, secure, and enriching than it was way back.

But the scab is never allowed to form. The wound is never allowed to heal. Because there's far too many people who stand to make a living from picking at them. Newspaper columnists, Sociologists, 'Community Organizers', Rap Artists. They all, at some point or another, feed upon the irrational guilt of White Liberals, who on the one hand claim to genuinely care about the 'plight' of the formerly-oppressed, and on the other, manipulate them like marionettes whenever it suits their purposes.

Quite frankly, if I were an African-American, or an American Indian, I would thank whatever I hold holy that my slower, dumber, less-advanced forebears were so easy to conquer and overcome, so that 400 years later I could be born in a country where I am valued as an individual, I have rights guaranteed by law, and I am free to do whatever I goddamned please, so long as I do not infringe upon the rights of others.

It beats the hell out of the alternative; a life where my continued existence might be dependant upon my ability to kill a wildebeest with a stick, my luck in dodging malaria, and a continuous stream of charity obtained from irrationally-guilty white liberals, delivered by a hodgepodge of international organizations who don't really give a shit about me; they just manage to earn their living off the irrational white guilt, too.

You want to complain about something? Try this:

I'm Sicilian. My people come from the most-conquered and oppressed island in the history of the world.

The Greeks, Romans, Carthaginians, Lombards, Knights of Malta, Turks, Mamelukes, Arabs, Spanish, French, Vikings, and Germans, all of them came and conquered or occupied Sicily...and the island was liberated by Americans, naturally, but according to people like Mr. Milloy, America only has the power to enslave and denigrate, not liberate and uplift. But I digress...

I'm almost certain that several of my ancestors in the last 4,000 years were probably enslaved against their will ... and probably more than once. No one ever named a Football Team after us. No one has ever tried to evoke the fighting spirit and noble savagery of the Sicilians...except maybe Mario Puzo and Martin Scorcese. There is no homage to Sicily that doesn't involve even a subtle reference to organized crime.

I wonder, where are MY reparations? Why has the world not seen fit to apologize to my people, and give them special protection under the law, and unfettered access to taxpayer-funded largess which can be largely wasted to no good purpose? Where is my sovereign nation with a casino and an oil well on it? Why doesn't anyone seem to give a shit about my self-esteem and the damage done to my culture by such wicked oppression?

African-Americans and American Indians have no idea how fortunate they truly are: the White Man's Burden is still with us -- only now instead of bringing civilization and God to you, the task has been to infantilize you, to move you onto the reservation/plantation of the mind and the government cheese line. All so that you may be further exploited under the guise of benevolence, and in the name of 'diversity', while we Sicilians have to actually work for a living.

You're being treated like prized pets, not conquered people, and if you actually thought long and hard about your current plight (without resorting to politics and with a sense of honesty about just where your bread is buttered...and by whom), you'd see just how badly you've been used and abused.

And then you'd do something about it, like, I don't know...behave like rational people and go forth and toil in the name of self-betterment, or something...

It would beat the hell out of sitting around picking at scabs which aren't even yours. After all, I can promise you Mr. Milloy was never taken from his homeland, transported across an ocean and dropped into an alien culture. I'm pretty sure his ancestral lands were not taken by force, or simply occupied when the inhabitants died from diseases they had no natural defense for.

I'm positive he was never forced to toil for the benefit of others, who would then deny him basic human rights, and even deny that he was a human being.

Sort of like how white taxpayers have been treated and made to feel for the last 40 years or so.

Mr. Milloy, and many others like him, should get the hell off the 'you owe us' wagon and smell the coffee; you, personally, are not victims of anything. You were not deprived and robbed. You were born into, and grew up in, an America which has largely corrected it's flaws, often at great expense and pain. No one owes you anything.

Grow the fuck up and join the rest of us in the 21st Century.

Redefining the Argument...

Conventional wisdom:

"When you're losing an argument, change the subject."

Everyone knows that, of course. But, sometimes, you can change the subject all you want, and the other person in the debate is sharp enough to recognize mere logical evasion, and insists (how rude!) on having the discussion return the to the original subject. Some people are weird like that: they insist on consistency and silly stuff like that.

When that happens, simply changing the subject is not enough to throw off the most tenacious opponent. Now you'll need to bring out the rhetorical big guns. Now you have to redefine the basic premises of the argument. This is a time-tested tactic of propagandists and the apologists for the worst criminals and dictators in the history of mankind.

So, if you oppose a certain President's policies on everything from the War on Terror, to the Economy, or the fake crisis of health care, you are not an independent thinker exercising your faculties, weighing pros and cons to arrive at a rational position. Nor are you a patriotic American taking advantage of your right to dissent and conscience -- like you were in the days when it was cool to protest Vietnam and the Iraq War (Apparently, those were 'bad wars' as opposed to the 'good ones'. Good Wars are defined by who happens to be in favor of them and how little fighting actually occurs). If you oppose corporate welfare for companies who's management obviously failed to read their textbooks in Economics 101, or worse, giving welfare to politically-powerful unions in the form of nationalization of formerly-profitable companies, you must not be very smart or compassionate.

Why, you're incapable of being a rational, thoughtful, politically-savvy person if you oppose those things.

No, opposition to those things now makes you a racist.

Now the terms of the argument have been fundamentally altered. Now, the argument is no longer about inconvenient things like verifiable facts, matters of record, direct quotations, and nonsense like that. It's all about your prejudices -- whether you have any or not (According to all leftists, anyone who disagrees with them automatically has prejudices and questionable thought processes). No muss, no fuss, and it keeps democratic party flapping rectums gainfully employed on (P)MSNBC.

The word racist has now been completely redefined. It had already been thrown about so carelessly for so long that it no longer had much of a meaning, anyway. But the present circumstances we live in have given it a new lease on life, as it were. Now, racism is not the reflexive and irrational hatred of 'the other' based on differences in race; now it's simply principled opposition to a particular individual. Imagine the consequences of that concept!

Since racism has now been redefined to apply only to The Savior, the great and Omniscient Obamatard, the next time I hear a reverend or a rapper throw that word out I shall take great pride in informing them that racism no longer exists; at least as far they understand and define the term. Barack Obama brought some of that Hopenchangey fairy dust of his and changed the meaning of the word 'racism', and by extension, 'racist'. I now reserve the right to call black folk nasty names, attribute to them or expect of them, stereotypical behavior, and offer them all the fried chicken and watermelon I can get my hands on, free from any burden of guilt or shame, and legally and morally protected from their righteous indignation -- if not from an outright ass-kicking.

Thanks to Barack Obama and the democratic party, I can use the N-word freely again!

Because now it's only racism if it means opposition to Obama.

Now, go pick me some cotton and then gimme some soft-shoe, Boy!

Update: Before the hate mail rolls in; I would never behave this way in real life. I'm simply trying to prove a point here, which is that words and ideas have consequences. Perhaps it's about time we stopped throwing the racism tag about so freely and stupidly; it's an issue much bigger than any President and his quest for beatification and elevation to sainthood.