Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Things Have Been Chaotic...

Yeah, I haven't been blogging much lately, but for good reason. I've got a few projects that I'm working on (imagine this: a series of children's books, written by a complete Psychopath! Coming soon!), and I'm out looking for work -- again. I did have a small job almost-lined up, but for some reason (probably related to taxes) that 'client' wants to work on a barter system instead of cash-on-the-barrel.

Sorry, but this Lunatic likes Marlboros, Absolut, and Cheetos, and getting those requires moolah.

What was offered was, potentially, very lucrative...in about 30 years. This customer wanted a little IT work in his little shop and was offering a small collection of relatively-valuable silver coins in return. This would be nice, except:

a) I know little to nothing about numismatics, how to value coins, and how one goes about selling them in such a fashion as to get the best price for them. I can't be bothered with E-bay. I guess I could take them to the Pawn Star guys in Vegas, but that seems like a lot of trouble.

b) The job will require a couple of weeks; I'd like to be paid regularly during that time, if at all possible. That seems to work out best for all involved.

So, I think I'm going to tell this 'client' not only NO, but FUCK NO. It's the 21st Century; we work in Dead Presidents, not how-many-chickens-for-that-sack-of-grain. Otherwise, one might get the idea that the business was, perhaps, cash-poor, or that you might be a dishonest man, and frankly, I don't particularly like either idea.

I've also gotten the (expected) litany of rejection e-mails from the wide range of Big Box Stores in my area. Apparently, if you once programmed computers and ran a multi-billion dollar data center, you're extremely overqualified to put Econo-size, 55-gallon drums of Scope Mouthwash, or Hellman's Mayonnaise upon a Costco shelf, and probably cannot ever be expected to be able to learn how to operate that combination forklift/palette transporter at Home Depot.

Of course, if you have that kind of experience, but are over the age of 40, the software and technology companies don't want you, either; they'd rather pay Sanjay in Bombay 12-cents-an-hour on an outsourcing contract, and then dangle the possibility of an H1-B with a $20,000-year payout in front of his face, knowing he'll jump at the opportunity in much the same way as Bill Clinton would leap bodily at a rack of babybacks, or a trailer-park bimbo with no gag reflex.

Still, I am nothing if not persistent. I'm also coming to the conclusion that depending upon the marketplace to provide me with a living in the current economic environment is probably comparable to simply planting myself on the side of the road somewhere, and simply waiting to die. It's becoming apparent that in this day-and-age that the Old American concept of Making Your Own Fortune is back in vogue, and that given the sheer numbers of my fellow citizens possessed of the most bulletproof stupidity imaginable, that a healthy application of braincells and a little elbow grease should suffice to drop a billion-dollar idea into my lap any day now.

After all, someone is getting rich on Facebook, you know. Never overestimate the taste or intelligence of the American consumer (especialy the 18-35 year-olds) ; if you do, you'll most certainly go broke.

Anyways, I will be back later this afternoon, with some new rantings from the inside of my diseased skull.

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