Monday, November 16, 2009

President Douchebag and His Asswipe AG...

Well, if you had to knock the Health Care debacle out of the public eye, how would you do it?

If you're Barack Obama, first you leave the country, get really far away -- like the other side of the International Date Line(once again bringing shame to the office of President of the United States by bowing to yet another foreign potentate) -- and then just to make really, really certain, you give the public something other than a monumental government power-grab to fear... you trot your race-baiting Attorney General out to announce that not only will terrorists be given civil trials with all the attendant rights attached to criminal defendants, but that they will be tried in the city most traumatized by a terrorist attack.

I was trying to think of words that described this tag-team stupidity by Obambi and his race-baiting AG, and I came up with Douchebag and Asswipe, but I wasn't certain I was using them correctly, like all the hip kids do these days. So, I looked them up at

The words perfectly described what I think of these two men.

The Urabn Dictionary defines douchebag, thusly:

"Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed (sic) with a douche"

Just in case you weren't certain what a douche was, in the context of modern slang, it was defined as:

"a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas."

Asswipe, I was suprised to learn, has multiple definitions. They are:

"1) a device that has been used to remove excrement from the anus. 2) a person who resembles in behavior, language or attitude a device used to remove excrement."

Which suits Mr. Holder to a tee. He is, indeed, cleaning up Obama's shit on this one.

And then I thought to myself, "Are these people really just THAT clueless and retarded, or did they spend years working at it?"

Well, that question was answered for me by two Congressmen who appeared on the O'Reilly Factor the other night. Anthony Weiner (Asshole-New York) and Joe Stupak (Dingelberry-Pennsylvania). Definitions:

Asshole: someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead, and Dingleberry: A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones boxers.

And yes, I've decided they obviously DO work at it.

Stupak not only supports this stupendously absurd decision by the so-called Obama Administration, he even wrapped himself in the flag with his anus-puckering, self-serving, petulent refrain of "I didn't wear this country's uniform and defend the Constitution to see anyone, even a confessed terrorist, denied the due process of law.." routine.

When you see this guy, and then recall General Casey's fervent hope that the Fort Hood Massacre doesn't put an end to the Army's diversity efforts, you start to wonder why they let people with the brain power of the common cockroach into our military acadamies. Just because you wore the uniform, it doesn't make you a fucking saint beyond all criticism vis-a-vis your intelligence, Congressman Stupak...just ask General Petreus.

Weiner (and was a man ever more aptly named?) went through numerous iterations of (paraphrasing) "It doesn't matter, they will be convicted. The American Justice system will be shown to be the best in the world...and can you stop whining about it and stop criticizing our President?"

Well, Congressman, if it doesn't matter, if, as you say, a conviction is a foregone conclusion, then why a) have the fucking trials, and b) bring these scumbags to New York to rub salt in everyone's wounds? Unfortunately, Bill didn't ask that obvious question, and shame on him for missing it.

But just what do they think they're going to accomplish with this stunt? It can't be just to get people to cease talking about Health Care, could it? No, it can't be. But I think I've figured it all out.

See, Obambi knows he wil lose on Health Care, and all his good little left-wing fascists will be mighty upset with him, what after punting on Gay Marriage, and so he has to give them something to really get their juices flowing and angry at someone else, so...

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney finally get put on trial, albeit vicariously.

Because you just know that's what this trial is all about. How GWB trampled civil liberties, and how these poor, misguiided, misunderstood, otherwise-peaceful Muslims were so badly treated,waterboarded, subjected to cold cells (In Cuba?) and loud rock music, and finally they just confessed to whatever was put in front of them. Why, even if they're guilty as hell that's just so...unfair...and stuff, to your average hippie holdover.

And now, five terrorists, five murderers, are going to get what they've always wanted: a public forum, with all the cameras in the world watching, from which they can once again belittle, insult, and confound the Great Satan, explaining to their shit-eating brethren in the Middle East just what they gave up, who they gave up, and how it was pried from them. They get to put the process on trial. They get to expose sensitive intelligence and methods in public. They gain both heroism martyrdom on the cheap -- and with the full encouragement of the President of the United States -- before they get their lethal injection.

God help both Holder or Obama if one of these guys walks. All it takes is one judge who's even dumber and more politically-motivated than they are, and in New York City, they ain't that hard to find. It will never be mentioned that these guys were not members of a standing army, nor members of legally-constituted militia, that they were not arrested in Cincinatti, but on the battlefields of Afghanistan and Iraq, that they aren't entitles to a POW's rights under the Geneva Convention, nor do the civilian standards of evidence apply to them because of the circumstances of their crimes and capture.

"There is no CSI Khandahar...", as one astute flapping rectum put it on TV this weekend.

If you ever needed a clearer demonstration of just how ridiculously out-of-touch our so-called leaders are, you couldn't ask for a better example. These people are ape-shit crazy, and I for the first time, I'm NOT talking about the terrorists.

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