Douchebag of the Week (4/13/14): Eric Holder, Victim of Racism...

Pity Attorney General Eric Holder.

No, seriously.

It must be tough to live in an America which is so vilely racist that a member of a formerly-enslaved race can rise to become the Chief Law Enforcement Officer in all the land, with, apparently, no intention or clue as to how to actually, you know...enforce the law. Or maybe even understand it.

I mean, it can only have happened in someplace less-racist, like, say, Zimbabwe or China, that the son of Caribbean immigrants could grow up in the slums of New York, live a life of abject poverty in a hardscrabble fight for a decent life, be deprived of opportunity by the pernicious legacy of the slave trade, and then, by dint of hard work, inspiration, a do-or-die spirit, manage to raise himself up by his bootstraps to complete law school, to become a judge, engage in national politics, and then reach the very pinnacle of success by virtue of sheer competence and skill.

Yeah, that couldn't happen in racist America.

Then again, that's not Eric Holder's story, either.

The Jihadis Are After Me...

There has been an increase in traffic to this website from a particular Arab website.

I figure I can expect either a lawsuit or a letter bomb just about any day, now. I seem to have caught the attention of some official-sounding Arab organization, and it appears as if they have been searching this site for the term, of all things, donkey sex, in all it's permutations. Among other things.

Which tells me that whoever is doing the searching is probably in Pakistan,or a Pakistani living in the US, because according to Google the only country that routinely registers more online search engine requests for donkey sex than Mexico, is Pakistan. They're also Number One in gay porn and rape video.

But that's only because they can't be Numero Uno in economic productivity, production of Nobel Prize Winners, or Personal Hygiene, and mainly because Cricket -- the only thing they are good at, besides exploding -- is gayer than Ru Paul.

So, I can expect a cease-and-desist order or a visit from an "Imam" pretending to be reasonable, I figure, real soon.

The group doing the snooping, from the limited research I've done, is some sort of Pan-Arab clusterfuck of the sort that has been championed by the likes of Abdel Nasser and Saddam Hussein, which is to say a Pan-Arab-Ba'athist-Nazi sort of coalition of disaffected camel fuckers from every corner of the Islamic shithole states. Given this sort of pedigree and this sort of membership, I'm confident that any assassination attempt will fail utterly if only because the car bomber sent to do me in will accidentally set himself off prematurely as he performs his final rite of ritual masturbation leading up to the "Allahu Akbar!" moment.

In which case, he'll still get 72 virgins, only they'll all look like Danny DeVito, and have at least one chipped tooth apiece (think about it, Men).

Come and get me, you sheepshagging wife-beaters! I'll be more than happy to fuck you up if you show your faces around here. Mohammed Atta couldn't kill me with a 757 and that was your first string.

"Help" Syrian Rebels? Why?

RE: The announcement by the Obama Administration that it will give "aid" to the Syrian rebels currently fighting the regime of Dictator-for-Life Bashir Al-Assad.

I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:

When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.

Well, What Did You Think Would Happen?

Liberals' issue with the Patriot Act and the other extraordinary police powers given to the Executive Branch in the direct aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks was NEVER about Civil Liberties, Freedom, or the even the Constitutionality of it all. Despite the lip service they paid to such concepts back when.

It was always that those powers were going to be given to the likes of a Bible-thumping, anti-abortionist, right wing, gay-hating, dumb-as-dogsqueeze George W. Bush, and his would-be Reichsfuhrer, John Ashcroft, first.

Oh, I imagine that this whole regime of Orwellian surveillance could be worse:

The American People could have been really stupid and elected Hillary Clinton. Can you imagine what She and Bill would have done with this sort of power?

Douchebag of the Week: Senator John McCain...

I wish someone would finally (metaphorically) put a stake through the heart of John McCain before next sunrise. 

His continued ability to leave his coffin every evening, suck some more blood from the body politic and return unscathed to strike again the following night is beginning to remind me of Count Dracula.

Actually, McCain often reminds me of Count Chocula -- a goofy, cartoonish, two-dimensional character on a cereal box -- only with power and an over-developed sense of self-importance. It’s time to knock him down a few pegs until he’s little more than the Count from Sesame Street.

Of Bombers, Rapists, and Immigration Reform...

By now, everyone knows these photographs; they are of the (alleged) Boston Marathon Bombers,  Chechen immigrants who came to America and somehow found it necessary, for reasons yet to be discerned, to plant shrapnel bombs that killed three and wounded another 180.

They then, as you  know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.

Explosion at Boston Marathon; Obama Pulled off Golf Course for Photo Op...

After the explosion at the Boston Marathon this afternoon. President Obama was pulled off the golf course to announce sweeping new Marathon Control Laws, a National Marathoner's Registry, and tough, new mandatory background checks on the purchase of all Sporting Goods.

Seriously, from the pics I've seen so far: no major structural damage, no smokin' hole in the ground like you would expect to see from a gas main explosion. Wondering if our Exploding Cousins from the Desert are involved?

Arab Spring, My Ass...

We should buy these people some Irish Spring, and then maybe they wouldn't smell so bad.

Here's the recent record of Obama foreign policy, vis-a-vis the Middle East:

Egypt - The Muslim Brotherhood is in power, after a popular uprising against a by-comparison benign dictatorship.New Egyptian 'President' Morsi attempts to take dictatorial powers and pronounce a theocracy despite all assurances from the White House and State Department that the Muslim Brotherhood is a peaceful, democratic organization that hasn't the slightest intention of setting up a brutal, thuggish, reactionary regime of religious and political repression that supports terrorists.

Egyptians who took to the streets in the name of reforming the previous regime of President-for-Life Hosni Mubarak didn't sign up for this MB bullshit, so they're back in the streets attempting to reform or overthrow this regime before, it too, ossifies into an Iranian-style dictatorship. Obama backed the wrong horse. Why? Who knows?

Hillary and Benghazi...

So, the Hildebeest took 'responsibility' for the lack of security that got four Americans killed in Benghazi, did she? Taking one for The Team, as the old saying does, is she? The Obamatards must be operating under the mistaken belief that now that someone has taken 'responsibility' for the Benghazi Disaster the subject is officially closed, probably much like they believed Al' Qaeda was finished after bin Laden was shot in the fucking face.

Well, no, the whole thing ISN'T over, Mr. President. It's only getting started.

Just because Hillary says "it's my fault...", doesn't make it all go away. It doesn't mean we can all, as you people like to say. "move on"

The fact remains that someone is lying to us, and we need to know the truth, especially from someone who promised us more transparency than we could ever imagine when he was elected.

Douchebag of the Week: The Arab Street...

This is the first time in the history of the prestigious Douchebag of the Week Award that an entire ethnic or religious group has won the big prize.

Mind you, this is no simple accomplishment given the normally very low standards of mindless behavior that are required to even be nominated. In this case, something unprecedented has occurred, and an entire people has displayed such egregious behavior that I am forced to conclude that what was once (wholesale douchebaggery) the exclusive domain of only the worst of  individuals -- a politician, a media figure, perhaps a denizen of Hollywood -- has gone viral, and infected an entire ethnicity.

Never Retreat in The Face of Ignorant Savages...Just Kill Them...

I haven't talked about Islam for some time now. Probably because on a good day, it's hardly worth talking about; it is, after all, a system of thought and behavioral control imposed by force upon perhaps the most insanely inbred population on Planet Earth. Seventy generations of inbreeding have conspired to create in the Modern Arab something that evolutionary scientists would say is impossible; a modern day Neanderthal, only with a smaller brain and greater capacity for irrational violence.

With regards to the recent attacks on American embassies in Egypt, Libya, Tunisia and Yemen, and ahead of those that are about to occur in Iraq and Afghanistan, it would do well to finally understand what the Israelis have been telling us for 60 years, already; it does not pay to treat Arab Muslims as human beings, for any gesture of friendship, any offer to peacefully co-exist, any attempt to negotiate in good faith, is axiomatically taken by them as a sign of weakness.

Can We Still Win Wars?

This is the question posed by Professor Hanson. The answer: of course we can.

We just have to decide to really fight them first.

"Fake, But Accurate" Was Good Enough for Dan Rather...

I can just see some guy standing before a Sharia Court exclaiming, "But Your Honor, it was the only time she would hold still..."

Whoops! The whole "Muslim Necrophilia" thingy that I blogged about yesterday might be some kind of internet hoax.

Necrophilia, Egyptian-Style...

The next person who recycles that Leftard-approved trope about “all cultures being equally valid” within earshot of me is gonna get punched in the fucking mouth.

News from Egypt, Fountainhead of that New-Fangled, Oxymoronic Islamic Democracy Thingy we learn today that what passes for a Parliament there is considering a law that would make “Farewell Intercourse” with your wife a legal right.

More From the "Religion of Peace" Files...

New book tells Muslim men how to beat thier wives for Fun and Prophet.

I swear, if I hear one more Libtard repeat the braindead mantra that "all cultures are equally valid" I’ll buy this book and use the lessons learned on the first Occupy Wall Street demonstration I can find.

On Shooting Afghans...

Apropos of the recent news of an American soldier allegedly murdering 16 Afghans, I say this:

Give that sick motherfucker a chestful of medals, and turn him into the next Patton.

If you're going to have a War on Terrorism at all, it should, one thinks, behoove you to be out killing the people who will, eventually, be performing said acts of Terorrism. After all, every Afghan is just one missed shipment of Islamically-approved, American-taxpayer-provided, dog-food-grade canned goods away from joining the Taliban, anyway.

The Religion of Peace, My Ass...

Muslim douchebags in my hometown hope to show The Softer Side of Islam.

A little punch, a little sponge cake, maybe a DJ, and then something will probably explode shortly thereafter. Happens every time you put more than three Muslims together in the same place, don’t you know.

Or maybe they just want to hold a symposium on the joys of Donkey Sex?

Muslims Upset by NYPD Surveilance…

Ever stop to think that maybe if you turned your crazy brothers, uncles, and fathers in before they go BOOM! you wouldn’t have this problem?

Khaddaffi Dead, NATO Protects Next Dictator-in-Waiting...

While the news of the gruesome and all-too-late death of Colonel Moammar Khadaffi is welcome, it should not be greeted with all the expressions of hope that many in the Obama Administration, particularly President Frequent-Flyer-Miles, himself, have attached to the event.

Despite the evocation of a belief that, with this brutal jerkoff now pushing up the daisies, Libya is on the path to democracy, exasperating experience (and history) has often shown that no such thing will happen, nor should it be expected to happen, without continued sacrifices in blood, treasure and political capital by the West. Particularly, by the United States.

Cure for the Jihad? More Sex...

A Good Wife is a Sex Worker To Her Husband.

So sayeth some Muslim Women's group or other. There's two ways to intepret this story:

a. Women are the cause of all the evils of this world. Best they should just shut up and become somebody's willing slambag.

b. If these women actually succeed, you might just see the Jihad disappear overnight.

Because one of the primary, motivating factors in the Global Jihad (apart from Muzzies being uncivilized little ignoramuses) is sex. The Islamonazi just can't get enough, and he lives in a sewer of a culture which denies him outlets outside of marriage...unless we're talking livestock.

Or the other boys in the cave.

What the woman in this article seems to be describing is what we in the West would refer to as the Madonna/Whore Complex. The crux of this complex is that a woman must fulfill two, often contradictory, roles, simultaneously: she is to be the very model of the 'Good' Wife and Mother. Obedient, pious, meticulous in her care of children and household, publicly respectable, in all ways an extension of her husband, who should never be embarassed in public.

But behind closed tent flaps, she'd better have all the sexual skills, adventurism, and morals, of the A-list porn star.

I know several women south of the Mason-Dixon who would fall into this category; the church-going, well-known pillar of the community kind, maybe of a prominent family, who become a completely different chick as soon as someone's naked and the lights go out. Northern women don't even wait for the lights.

You know, these Muzzie chicks just might be onto something. If Abdul is too busy watching his wives perform oral sex upon one another while the third one performs a nasty upon him, he might stay home more often. Men up to their armpits in pussy tend to be too busy to build roadside bombs, plot terrorist attacks, or snipe at American troops.

Think of it this way: while Hassan is busy porking (doh!) his Good Lady Wives, we could...ahem...pull out...of Afghanistan and Iraq, and nobody would notice.

It's a good sign that in at least one backwards place on Planet Earth, some women are actually suggesting something positive in the efforts to stem the worldwide Jihad. This suggestion is a far cry more useful and doable than anything that has come from the mouths of Western Feminists, who incidentally, don't really give a shit about their oppressed Muslim sisters unless they can attack a Republican by feigning concern and outrage.

If the terrorists are too busy busting a nut, they ain't hijacking anything. And getting your rocks off in this life sort of takes the 'can't wait' factor out of thepromised 72 virgins in the afterlife. Besides, don't you want some chick who knows what she's doing? There's nothing worse than a woman who can't cover her teeth...unless she's chipped one, then that's far worse.

It's also for damned sure a much simpler view of male/female relationships than the one we've evolved here in the West, which has gotten so complicated, so full of extraneous bullshit, and which simply drips with the greatest stupidity and aggravation that the female mind can contrive. Dating is damned difficult nowadays, Ladies, and you made it that way. Don't think so? Then read this:

18 Things All Men Need to Know That Women Won't Tell Them.

My, how helpful you are. We need information, but you won't give it to us. So much for the vaunted 'communication skills' of women. But then I read the article, and no wonder they can't tell us these things!

The article (despite it's glaring grammatical and spelling errors -- someone actually got paid to write this?) is basically devoted to s single premise: women want a Metrosexual. Be the best damned  Metrosexual you can be, young man, and you'll soon be swimming in snatch, yesssiiirrreee!

I think this was once covered in an episode of South Park, truthfully.

At least one third of the article is devoted to hair care and hairstyles, fashion, and...hand lotion. I especially loved this line:

"You need to have the right amount of sex, money and career in [your] hairstyle."

Really?

Just what the fuck does that mean? No wonder you haven't told us, girls! You'd probably be ashamed to utter that in public, wouldn't you?

And people wonder why divorce rates are so high, why consumption of porn is at an all-time high, and why the Japanese are busy devising the sex robot: how the fuck -- as a Man -- do you relate to a shallow dingbat who demands the 'right amount' of 'sex, money and career' in your fucking haircut? By what standard are such things measured? Gentlemen, doesn't shit like this just drive you insane?

It's no wonder I find this fake woman to be the sexiest in all the world!