Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mike Bloomberg: Poster Child for Birth Control...

Who knew New York City had an official condom?

As a native and life-long resident of this city, I heartily agree that New York City should have an official condom. And it should be permanently grafted to every elected official in this state, so that none of them may ever reproduce again.

This state is in dire financial straits, so bad that even a blind democratic governor was able to see it, and to even suggest budget and spending cuts (if Patterson wasn't a political dead duck come next Election Day before this pronouncement...), so how did this ridiculous contest get spared? If I had to guess, the gay members of the City Council probably saved it. AIDS, rumor has it, is making a comeback in the Village. I guess the thought is that if you hang a designer label on it, gays will use it. I rather doubt it.

Anyways, I have a few suggestions about how the condom and it's packaging should look, just to get into the spirit of things. It should have full-color pictures of both Mayor Bloomberg and former-governor Spitzer on one side, and the reverse side should have pictures of Chuck Schumer and Hillary Clinton on them, all against a black background. In golden lettering around the borders, should be emblazoned "Don't let this happen to you...please use birth control..."

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