Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Okay, I Have To Set Some Ground Rules Here...

If you respond to a post of mine, please, please, please DO NOT include a link to a commercial website, and for Pete's sake, don't you dare include one pertaining to your personal business.

1. Limit your links to those which are subject-oriented (I don't mind linking to other sites which offer something funny or pertinent. I do it all the time, myself), or which you think might be interesting to others.

2. If you include a hyperlink to a commercial concern in your response, it will most likely be rejected for the following reasons;

a) I don't get paid for advertising Hog Ass Brand Mouthwash, Smegma Hand Cream, or your personal Furniture Re-upholstery and Rabid Hedgehog Rehabilitation services. If you'd like to advertise here, you're welcome to do so, but remember that The Lunatic doesn't believe in the Marlboro and Absolut fairies -- those things cost money, you know, and I could use cash just like everyone else. If you'd like some attention for your business, then pay up. Just because this is the Wild Frontier of Cyberspace and The Lunatic is an anti-establishment kinda guy doesn't mean that Capitalism is dead around here. I'm sure we can come to a reasonable agreement if you want to place an ad here. Hell, I might even be persuaded (for the proper fee, maybe even for services-in-kind) to design your ad for you, and I'll gladly post it here.

b) I'm under no obligation to post any reply of yours at all. Ever. I reserve that right for obvious reasons. I'm not posting anything that is objectionable to reasonable people (stop with the Kiddie Porn, please?). If I choose to post your replies, it's because whatever you had to say was relevant or acceptable, even if I might disagree with it, and I don't even mind saucy language and a few personal insults. I can take those in stride. Debate and discussion are one thing, taking the opportunity to get in some cheap (free) advertising is another. I understand that, sometimes, these ads-dressed-up-as-replies-to-blog-posts are generated by Spambots, but I also know (or believe I can honestly discern) when they aren't.

I can certainly discern when they're sent by the democratic party, or propaganda adjuncts, thereof. Whether or not those things get a fair hearing are conditioned by their applicability to the subject at hand and relevance. Most people recognize an organized propaganda effort when they see one.

3. Thanks in part to this website, I already have a mailbox full of e-mails telling me that I've just won the Irish Lottery (again! At this rate, there should be even less money than there are snakes in Ireland), the Dubai Sweepstakes, or a lifetime supply of Flavored Condoms in Designer,-Glo-in-the-Dark Neon Colors, and other similar rot. That situation only gets worse when I start posting unsolicited hyperlinks of dubious origin embedded in reply, and people start clicking them. Then, through the magic of Al Gore's Internet, I'm targeted for mass-mailings, and Lillian Vernon catalogs that I never asked for start finding their way into my home. Save some electrons, some trees and my Letter Carrier's back; don't do it.

4. No one is taking great pains to bump my hit stats up, so why should I be obligated to bump yours? If I do direct my readership (such as it is) to your site, it's because I thought you had something interesting to say, or to emphasize a point. I would expect that others would apply the same standards. If you're hoping for a stat bump by having me or my readers click you (because clicking hyperlinks has become an almost reflexive activity in this day and age) you're barking up the wrong tree. I already get plenty of offers for Stat-bumping services, and I reject them out-of-hand as scams; I'd really hate to be used by others in similar fashion without my permission or consent.

Thanks for stopping by.

1 comment:

Sabra said...

I get these too, Matthew. Today's was, "Hi. You have a nice blog. Just thought I'd mention this to you about dustmites," and then "www.Iwanttoadvertisefor free.com." The post I did to which she - her name was Cammilynn - wanted me to post her free advertising had nothing whatsoever to do with anything I had posted. Good try. That is what comment moderation is for, though. Delete!