Thursday, April 21, 2011

This Is Why No One Reads Wonkette Anymore...

A few weeks ago, I got an mini-avalanche of traffic from Wonkette readers, who apparently arrived because they were looking for pictures of drunken leprechauns. Presumably they needed them to make fun of the proverbial inebriated Irishmen on St. Patrick's Day, and couldn't find their crayons. Now, they make fun of a three-year old with Down's Syndrome just because they happen to viscerally hate his mother. And why do they hate his mother? Because she happens to hold different political and social views than the oh-so-sophisticated Wonkette legion.

They can't stop her, so they might as well attack her children. That's on Page 3 of Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, you know.

By the way, these people tend to call themselves "Liberals", but there's very little of the Liberal in them.

Now, I'm no angel, here. I regularly write stuff that's just as vile and which could be considered hateful, unless you have half a brain and a sense of humor, but in my defense Muslims AREN'T regular human beings; they're some sort of inbred mutant strain that diddles livestock and which blows themselves up because God said they should, so that doesn't count. But, I can at least say I've never attacked a child ( parents: hell yes!) just to make what's basically a very stupid political point, i.e. that Sarah Palin, by her very existence, is an affront to everything a committed feminist stands for -- mostly because she's the most glaring and obvious example of just how wrong boilerplate feminism truly IS. Whenever I write something nasty, I do try to at least follow a very simple philosophy:

a. There must be some point that I'm trying to make. It might not be a very good point, granted, and I might not even communicate my point very well, but then again, I'm not one of the oldest political websites on the 'net that still retains a pretense as being THE trendsetter in regards to all things Left-leaning. I don't even claim to be the guy who knows everything about everything and everyone that's anyone. I don't worship at the altar of political power, and I simply do not drool over the thought that I might see and gossip about the really sexy libtard junior Congresscritter from California's 405th District who has a really highly-developed sense of metrosexual fashion. That stuff ain't important, which is probably why fewer and fewer people read Wonkette every day.

b. I don't claim to be, nor do I aspire to be, a professional journalist; I don't own a set of kneepads, never learned to cover my teeth when performing acts of gratuitous fellatio upon the rich and powerful denizens of Washington, D.C., and I didn't spend a shitload of Mommy and Daddy's money on a J-school degree which turns out to be about as useful as one of those "Be a Certified Gun Repair Technician!" certificate courses one used to see advertised on the inside of matchbook covers. I would rather be labeled a Sex Offender, Child Molester, Mass Murderer or Enron Executive than to be considered a journalist. It's a profession which has been so thoroughly discredited that I'd wager that Barehanded-Septic-Tank-Cleaner probably evokes an image of far greater prestige and respect amongst most people. I'm simply a crazy dude with a variety of axes to grind, determined to use my First Amendment Rights before people like the social-climbing-libtard-prostitutes of Wonkette conspire with their democratic (small 'd' intentional) party johns to take them away from me.

c. I wouldn't even make fun of Nancy Pelosi's retarded children (I'm sure she must have many), a person who actually HAS done serious and long-lasting harm to this country (unlikeTrig Palin), and she's perhaps the second-worst person on Planet Earth, First Place being occupied by a three-way tie of Hillary Clinton, Ryan Seacrest, and Kathy Griffin (each perhaps a harbinger of Antichrist?), and all four just nudging that Ama-doo-dad feller into a solid third place. There's no reason to go there, anyway: Nancy, Hillary, or Sarah are all adults, capable of defending themselves and answering their critics, even the unreasonably insane ones -- like me. Attacking children is a really douchey thing to do, and with Sarah Palin, it's become the Libtard's sport of choice. First it was Bristol, then Willow, and now, Trig. At what point does it stop? At what point do you believe you've exposed your pettiness and stupidity enough, and whatever sense of shame you still have left -- finally --kicks in?

I know, I know...If you let something akin to a sense of decency kick in, you'd never get invited to another smart cocktail-cocaine-and-forced-anal-sex party in Georgetown.

As for the author of that piece (my guess is that he learned and honed his fine journalistic skills upon only the very best gas station washroom walls), the fact that he -- after the fact, and after the outrage -- retroactively adds an inadequate apology at the top of the post, cuts no ice. The post, after all, is still there for everyone to view. Frankly, it's probably still there because without the outrage it's caused no one with two braincells to rub together would visit Wonkette anymore. If anyone over there had any class whatsoever, they'd take it down, but alas, they haven't seen traffic like this in years. A dilemma if ever there was one.

Some of the comments to this article were, if you can believe it, far more vile than the post itself.

There's talk going about the 'net about a boycott of Wonkette's sponsors (that would probably be Massengill Disposable Douches, SuperFlow Do-it-yourself Home Enema kits, and Sunstroker 2000: The Solar-powered Men's Masturbation Aid for a Greener Planet!), but I've never been a big fan of boycotts. Mostly because they're stupid, and never hurt the people they're intended to. The good people at (THE Homosexual Dating Service for the discerning anonymous Interstate restroom sex aficionado) or the Craig's List Adult Services Page aren't responsible for what Wonkette decides to publish, or even has a say over what is published -- the asswipes at Wonkette would scream from the rooftops about censorship if a sponsor ever demanded editorial say-so, even if does sometimes, hypocritically, scream even louder for the censoring of it's political opponents -- so why should those people, with no connection other than an advertising stake, be unfairly punished?

Don't boycott the sponsors; just stop reading Wonkette. And yeah, I've 'fallen into the trap' of reposting their stupidity while imploring you to avoid it, but this is about something more important than whether or not Wonkette gets a few more readers.

It's about people who would, and do, happily echo the Left's oft-repeated mantra that, for example, a Paul Ryan Budget Plan would cause children with Down's Syndrome to have to 'fend for themselves' taking a position on one hand of standing as the defender of the weak and helpless -- to score cheap political points -- while on the other hand viciously attacking a child with Down's Syndrome -- to score cheap political points.

Wonkette claims that it's a humor site, but it's difficult to see anything funny about any of this. If anything, it's extremely educational: you now know, if you didn't know before, what the self-proclaimed, self-assured, oh-so-fashionable, self-selected 'Liberal' elite really thinks and how it behaves, despite a pretense of intellect and sophistication, or claim to the higher moral ground in all things.

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