"Whore" Is Never A Good Career Choice...

There's two sorts of trollops in this world: the ones who end up decomposing on a beach on Long Island, and the ones who willfully, blindly, and unconsciously choose physical and mental serfdom because it's easier than getting a real job, while laboring under the false impression that they are 'empowering' themselves.

A Playboy Bunny complains about her Sexual Serfdom. Yawn. You have to give her points for this belated observation:

"Little did I realize that by moving into the mansion I was losing all the freedom I associated with the Playboy lifestyle."

Well, DUH!!!! What do you think happens in a whorehouse, Dipshit? It might be a fancier, better-decorated whorehouse, in a ritzy zip code, but it's still a whorehouse all the same!

It's also good to know that there's plenty of STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and dog shit floating around Hef's digs (allegedly) to make the place a Disneyland of the Disgusting. It all certainly must provide the proper ambiance.

Not to be a jerk, but some women can be monumentally stupid, even after 50 years of 'Feminism', and probably BECAUSE of 50 years of Feminism, if you ask me. The 'Why" is not all that difficult to understand: Feminism tells women that they posses a weapon more powerful than a nuclear warhead -- a vagina -- and then instructs them on how to use it to their supposed advantage, using it liberally in this case, judicially in others, as the circumstances dictate.

It never tells them that while Men might be grateful for sex, and thus -- for a time -- behave themselves in a way the Woman requires for so long as she sees fit to bestow her graces upon him, it singularly neglects to inform them (because then this would cause the entire mentality that underlies Feminism to collapse under it's own (water) weight) that Men are perfectly capable of going someplace else for a little Belly Bumping when you won't oblige.

Feminism, -- much like Communism and Barack Obama Economic Schemes -- discounts human nature and reality, when it doesn't obstinately refuse to acknowledge the existence of either completely. Any serious study of biology will tell you a simple truth about Men: we're Opportunists, and we're hard-wired to fuck everything that moves. If you won't, then surely someone else will, and if the basis of our relationship is you using Sex in order to profit(materially or professionally), then we'll, eventually, figure it all out and head for greener pastures rather than continue to be played for suckers.

You want to know how I know Feminism is a complete failure? Because I've never met a HAPPY Feminist, and they all have the same complaint about Men: they're all Sunshine and Skittles when you're giving it up on a regular basis. but as soon as you ask for that Promotion, the better grade, or the Diamond tennis bracelet, they're out of there so fast they leave a vapor trail behind them.

Feminism conveniently forgets to tell them that Men are Masters of Manipulation. Offered as proof: it has been (mostly) Men who have invented things like Psychiatry, Marketing, Mass-Media and Propaganda, which are all often concerned with feeding you the biggest plate of bullshit you've ever seen in your life, while making you eager to scarf it all up with a tablespoon and then ask for more. In one of the greatest ironies in all of History, it's apparent that without Men to lay the groundwork (political, ideological, scientific, legal, communications, moral, etc) for it, Feminism could probably never have existed in the first place!

It's enough to make you wonder if Feminism wasn't always some nefarious plot hatched by an evil genius with overactive gonads.

Hell, even at my advanced age and expanding waistline, I still have a phone book (relatively) full of booty calls, fuck buddies and hump-and-a-hot-dog dates, and the only reason there isn't a steady supply of hot-and-cold running vaginas here at Lunatic Central is because there's no challenge in it (we do still enjoy The Chase, and forming the intellectual and emotional bondsnecessary for a committed relationship, even if we never say so), and because I've (mostly) outgrown the Easy Conquest. And even if I didn't have such a resource at my fingertips, there's still enough low-hanging fruit available on a daily basis to ensure that the problem of where to park a boner for an evening when the usual, ready supply is unavailable is not an insurmountable one, on par with climbing Everest or splitting the atom.

Thank you, Feminists!

(Ed. Note: Rule of thumb, Gentlemen: the more divorces a woman has on her record, the easier she is to get naked. I personally know two who have three or more to their credit who screw like minks without you having to buy a mink, first).

Hugh Hefner simply recognized a set of circumstances that these ladies didn't, or which they already knew but wouldn't/couldn't admit to themselves -- they're all looking for a free ride in life; they've discovered that their looks open a lot of wallets, they've been trained to give it up with little thought by Feminists as a means of 'personal liberation' for the last five decades, and most people lack the same critical thinking skills you'd expect to find in an armadillo. These women (Hef's Harem) are basically trading their bodies for a nice place to live, a measure of fame, unlimited plastic surgery, and a thousand bucks a week. And some of them are so desperate for even that questionable bounty that they're willing to further degrade themselves and fuck an 80-yr-old cardboard cut-out hopped up on Viagra.

Because it beats working for a living, doesn't it?

Predictably, the dumber ones find themselves grateful for the opportunity, and the ones with at least two braincells to rub together eventually become bitter when they finally realize they've been had. When we reach that stage then someone has to be blamed for this bitterness and feelings of being taken advantage of -- but not to worry, Feminism has an answer for that one too -- it's called 'Victimhood'. The idea that someone who's made a bad life choice and doesn't like the consequences isn't really complicit in their own descent into crapitude is the hallmark of Feminist Thought (contradiction in terms).

It's always someone else's fault, and someone is always being taken advantage of. No one is ever responsible for anything, unless of course, it becomes convenient that they should. Like when you file a sexual harassment/discrimination suit.

Hefner simply discovered the metaphorical equivalent to an Arms Control regime in the War of the Sexes: You may have a pussy, Sunshine, but it's always been for sale. It's just that some come with a lower price tag.

And before I get nasty e-mail: yes, Pussy has always been for sale. The only differences between prostitution and marriage are a license, a bunch of legal/social protections/obligations, and the fact that The Man has made a choice to forsake all other vaginas because he likes your's best. And the Scarlet Woman doesn't get to have a judge dispose of your house and property and hand half the proceeds over to her, just because you left the toilet seat up. This is not just me being a sarcastic dipshit, either: it's biology at work. Don't think so? Read The Naked Ape and The Human Zoo. Those books are far more informative and a better investment of your time than that Jacqueline Suzanne or Jodi Piccault shit you all seem to read these days, and it won't give you a migraine and make you all menstrual, like Oprah does.

They're also an excellent How-To guide on picking up chicks. But, I digress...

As for the Bunnies: I have no sympathy whatsoever for any of them. Choices -- especially bad ones -- always have consequences. You break it, you bought it, as Colin Powell used to say before he became a moral coward.

Remember Ladies: if you wish to be valued and respected, then value and respect yourself, first. Then assholes like Me and Hef will be forced to treat you accordingly, and then you won't have to complain about being obligated to blow a rapidly-aging adolescent on a tight schedule.