Who was that masked man, the one who stood before Congressional Democrats and claimed that he wanted to be a Uniter and Not a Divider? Where have I heard that ideal expressed before? My memory is failing me, and I...oh! Now I remember; that's what the last President -- you know, the one the current ones party called a knuckle-dragging idiot and warmonger?-- said about the bitter, partisan tone of our politics! Could it be that the Exalted One is yet again reaching back to the last Administration to find a policy idea that might actually work?
Because, you know, Obama's got this Copy Bush shtick down pat: today he wants civility in our political discourse, the other day in the State of the Union Address it was all about tax cuts. Gitmo, that symbol of Bush's auto-da-fey against brown people, is still open. The man that many of Obama's supporters said didn't lift a finger to save people of color in New Orleans is the first guy Obi Won goes to...to help save people of color in Haiti. You would think that Obama was secretly in love with the Bushman and his policies, the very one's he criticized relentlessly and unfairly during his own voyage to the White House.
Or, you could just conclude that Barack Obama is a cynical man who will do whatever he thinks he needs to maintain that coveted 'personal approval rating', an keep his dwindling re-election hopes alive. Perhaps the President could begin this new call for civility in our politics himself with a personal example; he could apologize to George W. Bush for all the mean and nasty things that democrats have said about him... before stealing his policies!
Another thing; could the President, perhaps, a) get off my television screen for a couple of days, and b) stop whining about everything under the sun? Civility might follow if perhaps you stopped lecturing at the masses, implying stupidity on their part, and crying like a bitch about how hard your life is; you asked for the job, now man-up and do it. Familiarity breeds contempt, you know; I would have more respect for you if I saw less of you, and was otherwise convinced that your were working and your teleprompter was not. I see you more than my wife...if I had one.
This President takes opposition personally, too. He has a very thin skin, and a very thick skull. He apparently doesn't listen to anyone (especially not himself, because if he did, he'd realize just what an ass he's making of himself), unless they're criticizing him; and then he only hears the criticism and not the reasons for it. Then again, if he listened to the reasons for the criticism it might cause a thoughtful, less-ideologically driven man, to review his policies and perhaps change them. This President only changes for the television cameras; all that talk about 'pivoting' and 'co-operation' is just so much horseshit. Perhaps another way to return some civility to our politics, Mr. President, is to stop being such a baby, and realize that you can't always get what you want. And no, opposition to your policies is not the same as opposition to you, you dummy!
I also liked the part where The Savior said we should stop watching television. Well, since he's on it all the goddamned time, maybe I will. At least I could save myself from six hours a day of Presidential lecturing (Ed. Note: I turn the television off whenever the asswipe hits the airwaves, anyways, unless it's a major speech and not the usual "I won, give me what I want you dumb-as-dogshit-peasant-assholes!) . But the idea that a public that is informed about what it's so-called leaders are doing is a bad thing, because it leads to partisan wrangling, is a laugher. Tell the truth, Barack; you don't us watching, you don't want us knowing. It's why you broke your eight promises about C-span and health care. As far as you're concerned, the television has but one use; to bring your divine visage into our living rooms where you will dispense golden-honey-touched wisdom, and we will simply conform and obey.
I politely respond; Fuck you. You can't have civility when you believe I'm not an independent person capable of rational thought, incapable of being given differeing points of view and sifting it all to arrive at a conclusion. That indicates a basic lack of basic respect on your part. If you don't respect me (and you don't; you only want my money so that you can give it to people who deserve fuck-all to buy their votes and adoration) and treat me like an idiot, don't be surprised when I harbor a singular and intense dislike for both you and your policies.
And no, that doesn't make me a racist, either. This whole black victimhood routine is wearing incredibly thin; a half-black man is now in the White House, a half-black man that a decade ago Je$$e Jackson and Al Sharpton would have condemned as not being "authentically black", until he looked like he could actually win an election. Now he's the greatest half-black man in the universe and to gainsay him is to be accused of all sorts of vile intent. Fuck the race-baiters, too, for they have no respect for me and are, likewise, not truly interested in this call for civility, either; they get rich on incivility.
The only white man obsessed with Barack Obama's racial heritage is Chris Matthews.
Civility, Mr. President, requires that you do a few things before the rest of us follow suit;
* Apologize to George W. Bush for eight years of merciless ridicule from the brain-dead Left, and admit that he was right on a number of things, admit your own mistakes, evaluate your opposition honestly and thoughtfully. It's not all about you.
* Tell Nancy and Harry to shut their pie holes and slither back under their rocks.
* Stop whining about the lousy hand you've been dealt and roll your sleeves up. You wanted the job, now do it. Take some responsibility, and stop leaving things to Harry and Nancy and Rahm. You are the President of the United States, not them.
* Stop playing the race card when answering your critics honestly becomes inconvenient. It's supposed to be a hard job. Get used to it. Stand or fall on your own work. It's what real leaders do.
* Get off my TV screen, and go to work. Less time before the 'prompter, more time behind the desk. I get the distinct impression that you give so many speeches because it means avoiding the real work of being President.
* Fire Robert Gibbs. He is, without a doubt, the second-most annoying human being on the planet (Keith Olbermann is first). Whenever I see Gibbs, I'm reminded of that recurring dream where I'm sliding down a bannister naked, and it turns into a razor blade and there's a vat of lemon juice waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He's nasty. He's rude. He increases the nation's blood pressure and pucker factor everytime he oens his mouth. Ditch him; it would be a visible sign of helping ot achieve that 'civility' you desire.
* Michelle was on television the other day with a mug that could curdle milk. She looked positively menstrual on GMA the other morning. Keep her at home, please. That would be yet another visible symbol of your quest for "civility". Your wife, Mister President, is one of the most ungracious, self-absorbed people in America today. Keeping her out of sight might be a good idea.
Perhaps if you did these things, you might finally "change the tone" in Washington.