I must admit that I had no idea just who Kirsten Gillibrand was before she moved in to take Hitlery's Senate Seat. I can now see why I had no idea who she was: she's obviously stupid. Stupid people usually don't make the news, or even appear on the public's radar screen unless they manage to kill themselves while inflating their pool toys with the exhaust from the family Suburban whilst inside a locked garage, or they walk into the local emergency room with half a dozen Coke bottles stuck in their ass, indignantly insisting through the hails of derisive hospital-staff laughter that "I have no idea how they got there..."
You know, unless they're Darwin Award candidates, most people ignore stupid people, and they are allowed to live quiet, unassuming lives wallowing in their own ignorance and filth.
Unless they're stupid people who take up politics as a career, believing (and often proving!) that there's people out there even dumber than they are! In a perfect world, Kirsten Gillibrand would be anonymous, except to the people who loved her. But, even the most terminally doltish can have an ego sometimes, and so she entered politics, and proved so stunningly adept at stupidity that her party tapped her for a position which fairly screams for her particular brand of talent (that is, shut up and vote as we tell you to): U.S. Senator.
Now, Gillibrand is desperate to keep a job she really had no right to, that she didn't have to work for, and for which she was always intended to be little more than a mere placeholder. She shouldn't be: her only competition to date is another carpetbagger, Harold Ford, and I can say that New Yorkers -- after Hitlery's magnificent reign and Bobby Kennedy's rest stop in the Senate before he became the Second Kennedy with a Hole in His Head That Wasn't There At Birth -- have probably had quite enough of carpetbaggers, thank you. However, Gillibrand is probably under the mistaken impression that in order to keep this job that she didn't earn, that she'll have to "out-Left" Ford in a primary. That's Harold Ford, who has no connection to New York, no history here, and who probably couldn't win in this state if he handed out five dollar bills and handjobs at the voting booth (unless he manages to make the race about Race, in which case, all bets are off ). The only way to out-Left a Leftie in New York is to attach yourself to the Loopy Left, a collection of aging hippies, head cases, drug-legalizers and college-age Goths who refuse to ever grow up and shed the self-loathing that invades everything they do. There's electoral gold in them thar' hills, you know. She's now stumping with Van Jones, former Obama Green Energy Czar, Unrepentant Communist and 911 Troother, burnishing her far-left street cred, and on the plus side; Van Jones is yet another black man victimized by 'the system' and the "media" (especially by Glenn Beck). That's pure red meat -- goddamned Fillet Mignon! -- for the Recipient Classes of New York State.
They'll rally around a brother who only repeats what most of them stupidly believe, anyway. Wasn't no 19 Arabs who knocked down the Towers; only white people, like Joos and George Bush, could or would do something like that. But, I digress...
The New York Republican Party is a dysfunctional, muddle-headed bunch of idiots who couldn't organize a feeding frenzy in a shark tank, but one wonders if this race just isn't easy enough -- even for them! -- to swipe handily. Your democratic choices here will either be a really dopey second-stringer chosen for her ability to be led by the nose by Chucky Schumer (Gillibrand), or two men who have no record of accomplishments of their own, but who can point to the legacies of their fathers (Harold Ford, Jr, or Andrew Cuomo, if he decides not to run for Governor). Against this, the Republican party could probably run a three-legged German Shepherd with a speech impediment, and maybe win handily. But fear not; the NY Republican party will make every effort to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and probably recycle perennial loser Rick Lazio.
For those of you who have forgotten, Lazio is the guy the NY Repubs always tap (doesn't he have a real job?) when their primary candidate has to unexpectedly drop out of a race, and they need to stand someone to absorb the agony of defeat. Lazio stepped in for Rudy Giuliani when he dropped out of his Senate race -- and handed Hillary Clinton a victory by pulling an Al Gore and invading her personal space during a televised debate -- and I think (I'll have to check), he's lost at least two other races where he almost-literally parachutes in at the proverbial last minute. Rick Lazio should be sent to Afghanistan to run for the Taliban seat in the Hamid Karzai government, where his flair for spectacular loses might actually be of use to both his party and country.
As for Kirsten Gillibrand, anyone who would be seen with van Jones espusing 9/11 conspiracy theories in the very city most devastated by those attacks proves just how stupid she really is. We have enough morons in the Senate as it is. She should probably quit now.
And then maybe New Yorkers might find someone capable of breathing without mechanical assistance to run for public office in this state...of either party?