Tuesday, March 30, 2010

You Gotta LOVE English Newspapers...

That is Peaches Geldoff, daughter of Bob. If you've forgotten who Bob Geldoff is (or if you didn't know), he's the man who turned one extremely mediocre and obscure song into a career and a knighthood.

Bob Geldoff is the former lead singer of the Boomtown Rats, who starred as "Pink" in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", and who now earns his living off the suffering of dead Africans disguised as "caring". He and Bono has special places reserved for them in the Infernal Regions, I'm certain.

Anyways, about Peaches...

I'd never heard of her before this.

Now, what's funny about this whole, sordid story is the manufactured drama. It's almost as if they hired her knowing that one day they'd fire her, and splash it all over the papers. It's almost too good a tale NOT to have been manufactured. And it's not really a good idea to have an underwear model who's covered in tats; it's distracting. Upon seeing that picture, I was drawn (so to speak) to the ink -- not the undies --and especially-drawn to that Whore Marker that runs up her thigh and side, and I find myself wondering just what it was that lurked beneath (in terms of the tattoo, not the other stuff!) the waistband. There's a portion of tat visible on the other side. Who's looking at the undies? And who decided that this is the sort of woman who represents "the average" whom, I suspect, are the ones who actually buy this crap? The Average Woman I know doesn't have tattoos, nor does her appearance suggest filthy, knee-knocker liaisons in the alley out back -- and then back to the dance floor.

Peaches fairly screams "Treat me like dirt...", only in sexy underwear. She looks more like the spokes model for gonorrhea.

I know nothing about ladies' underwear. Don''t really want to know, either. Never had one of those supposedly-all-men-have-it fetishes for lingerie, either. You spend all that time getting gussied up, complete with cables and girders, and I'm only going to do my level-best to get it off you as quickly as I can. But, it would seem to me that if you're going to sell ladies undergarments, you should probably avoid the tattooed chicks, especially the ones with a heroin habit.

This smells so badly of "set-up", though, that it's hard to take it seriously. I can just see some corporate executive's thought process in action:

"...tsk, tsk, tsk, our spokesmodel is a drug addict with sexy pictures someplace? Oh, Dear Me! That soooo Paris Hilton, so...last decade.... No, no, no, just won't do...fire her, George.... no wait....Make certain you dig up those racy photos of her, and get them printed in the newspapers, and THEN you may fire her. Make a big show of it, will you Old Boy? Make sure it makes a splash.... all the papers and those entertainment programs the proles watch, get it on first on the BBC Newscast...all free publicity, you know! The girl? Who cares? Find another. Should be a million like her in London alone...I say, see if you can't get a Muslim one this time, so as to make a bigger controversy when she turns out to have a raging drug habit, and a secret rendezvous that took place in front of 40 video cameras, will you? There's a good man..."

(H/T FiveFeetofFury)

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