Wednesday, March 31, 2010

You Know, This Might Be Why More People Don't Vote...

There is a commercial running in my neck of the woods, these days. A nicely-dressed young man, filmed in extreme close-up so that he's nothing but a gigantic head-and-tie shot, tells you that He's Michael Allegretti, and he's running for Congress form New York's 13th District (Staten Island and South Brooklyn). The commercial is poorly done; it's not very informative, all you get is that Allegretti isn't a democrat, and it's on three times an hour. About the only good thing you can say about it is that he at least hints that democrats might be slightly less-attractive than influenza.

You can see the commercial at Allegretti's website. Just hang about a second, and the video will pop up on ya...along with a request for cash.

I have some problems with this sort of political advertising, because it's obviously contrived.

Allegretti bemoans the "out of control" democrats in Washington, but never says what his own party affiliation is. Not even on his website. In the first reference vis-a-vis party affiliation I could find, Allegretti describes himself in the New York Post as "an independent fiscal conservative". My, if that isn't purposely vague for a reason, I don't know what is! It's brilliant marketing, at least: he hits all the right buzzwords -- independent, fiscal conservative. He avoids any references to either the Republican or Tea Parties -- but it's not exactly clear if he's a Republican, Libertarian, or more likely, Rich Opportunist. It's almost as if you might be hiding something.

I've begun to notice a trend in political advertising here in recent years. There is a tendency in New York for many political candidates to not even make a mention of their political party affiliations, if they can avoid it. You don't see it mentioned on the television commercials, on the websites, on the campaign posters or literature -- you have to do some research to find out "R" or "D" -- and now I'm beginning to wonder if this might not be a common occurrence elsewhere; hiding your party affiliation on purpose. If anyone has seen some political advertising for a candidate lately, please let me know if they're all hiding their party affiliation now.

Incidentally, both Allegretti and democrat Michael Grimm (trying to mount a primary challenge to Congressbeast Mike McMahon) are taking great pains to make sure you know that neither is part of the Party machine (either party), and neither of them likes to use the words "Republican" or "Democrat", unless they can do so to denigrate the current political culture while making certain the words aren't applied to themselves. They are taking Populist stands and talking the Populist talk, but both are amateurish. They don't look believable when they play Populist, and you get the idea it's all a fantasy -- or a scam. This must be that new-and-improved brand of politics we've been hearing all about; shout loudly, look like a regular Joe, hit all the buzzwords in the interview, say nothing that might hurt you,or worse, inform someone, or even pin you to a position.

Would I vote for Mr. Allegretti? Based on his website, not really. Based on a crappy commercial and a campaign persona that seems tailor made by the best political advertising folks money can buy (Mr. Allegretti's family owns one of the largest Fuel Oil delivery companies in New York State), and a guy who claims he's not one of those "Washington" types, but trumpets all of his political accomplishments; He one of those guys who organizes political dinners, symposiums and gabfests, and even boasts what's probably intended to be a hint of an endorsement from Tony Blair -- the former LIBERAL Prime Minister of Britain. Like that matters to New Yorkers?

Oh, and he says New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg likes him, too. That pretty much takes you off my 10,000,000 Best Friend's List, Pal. Any Friend of Bloomberg's is an Enemy of the People.

Anyways, Allegretti is running against Micheal McMahon, the anal-retentive democrat who was tapped in an emergency election after Vito Fossella got himself caught with a Baby Mamma and a DUI. McMahon has accomplished but one thing; he said "NO" to ObamaCare, which is pretty much what this entire Island said to it. He may have the smell of "democrat" stuck to him, but he at least has the distinction of being brave enough to stand up to Nancy, Harry and Barack. I still wouldn't vote for him, either, as right about now "Democrat" comes in on my list just after "Cross-dressing Nazis" and just before "AIDS-carrying Pedophiles" on my list of "People I'd Really, Really Love To Invite to My Fondue Party".

The other candidate is a guy named Micheal Grimm, and unfortunately, he's a democrat, too. He's a veteran, though, so at least he gets some brownies for that, but when given a choice between Democrat, Democrat, Some Guy Who Thinks He's Really Slick, and Ebola, I'm taking the Ebola -- it's the best choice on the menu..

I'll be looking out to see if either democrat identifies himself as such, especially the guy who served in Iraq, because I have a feeling that while he's trying to strike the Populist tone of "for the Working Man", he'll probably only attract the usual crowd of democrat fringe elements -- the people who are STILL fighting over the War in Iraq -- and he won't accomplish anything except to split the dimwit vote in the primary.

We have a Tea Party here on Staten Island, and I've even popped over to their blog (it's here on Blogger) a few times to see what's going on. But I shan't join it, if only because they guy who posts on it sounds as if he's always in great pain....or maybe he just really has to pee really, really badly. All the time. Like he's constantly in one of those dreams where you're sliding down a banister naked, and it suddenly turns into a razor blade...and there's a vat of lemon juice and Tabasco sauce at the bottom of the stairs, just waiting for you. I swear, that man's sphincter is probably puckered so tight that he might need a colostomy bag. You can check it out, if you like, but I usually ignore anything they have to say -- even if I agree with it. I just don't like HOW he says it. It's like he's menstrual or something.

Anyways, there's going to be a primary here in Staten Island on the dem side, and then a general election in November, to see which of these three idiots gets to be our next Congresscritter. I'm so excited I could shit. Not really -- I'm apathetic for the following reason; at this point in history, when the People of this Country have an enormous opportunity to truly change the way this government does business (by tossing all the bums out, and demand that the Constitution be enforced and respected), our local political parties produce this line up of losers, or, they allow rich boys with an apparent aversion to honesty about their political leanings to buy their way onto ballots.

These are our choices:

The Democrat who was only elected because his Republican Predecessor was an adulterer and a drunk.

The Democrat unknown who won't tell you who he is, besides "I'm a Veteran!".

A Walking Television Commercial who can't be honest about his true political affiliations, and counts tyrants amongst his friends.

Between the three of them, we should be able to find one who'll be capable of turning Staten Island into the New Atlantis.

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