Thursday, March 17, 2011

Welcome, Wonkette Readers...

Will wonders never cease? Here I am sitting, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, in comes a tidal wave (sorry, Japan!) of traffic from one of the oldest blogs on the 'net. The readers of somehow found this site, and now a whole new bunch of folks can be exposed to the tsunami (sorry, Japan!) of insanity!

I'd like to point out to all you....ummm...Wonkers? Wankers? What the hell do you people call yourselves?...that you're likely to become very, very offended if you walk around my little mental minefield, because you're mostly scrotum-licking libtards, so please, spare me the anguished e-mail full of multicultural hogwash and dripping with tears. I write what I write, and I don't apologize for it. You've been warned: you're most likely to be offended.

Anyways, this earthshaking development (sorry, Japan!), this influx of potential readers who normally wouldn't give this site a second glance, let alone thought, has inspired me. Well, actually, the head...Wanker, Wonker, whatever...over there, Ana Marie Cox, has inspired me. What's not to like about cute redheads/strawberry blondes? Besides, all of us bloggers, even the ones who do so in almost total obscurity like I do, owe a debt of gratitude to Wonkette. Ana Marie was amongst the first of a generation of technically-savvy elitist snobs to jump onto the internet bandwagon, and start to change the world we live in.

To be honest, I haven't read Wonkette in years, mostly because you can only stomach so much liberal gossip-column-like-Washington-insidery-pablum before your gag reflex kicks in. I remember that blog being somewhat earth-shattering for it's time (sorry, Japan!) and the chain-reaction (sorry, Japan!) of knock-off sites it spawned reads like a Who's-who's of the Demented Left; DailyKos and HuffingtonPost, amongst others.

In a way, I'm both flattered and repulsed by the idea of Wonkers...Wankers...whatever...coming here. It either means I've done something they've found moderately interesting, or totally offensive, and in either case, they feel compelled to cluck about it amongst themselves. If we're lucky, two or three of them might actually learn something; for my part, it's worth knowing what your ideological opposites are...I hesitate to call it 'thinking'...but at least cackling about. Who knows, I might even learn something (yeah, as if!).

Anyways, I thought it totally fascinating that the post that's drawn there moths to a a one-year old post about St. Patrick's Day. I can just imagine the chatroom blather:

HippieBitch666: OMG, OMG, OMG that's so offensive! Not all Irish people are drunks, and leprechauns aren't so much gay as bi-curious! Don't these mouth-breathing evil republican types know that?

HotShowersKillGaia: Yeah, that dude is living in the Stone Age! I'm half-irish, one-seventh Pacific-islander, three-fifths black, and twentyone-seventeenths Jewish (but I checked 'Asian' on my application to Berkeley), andI can't believe...but I'm not surprised...that such obnoxious ethnic stereotypes persist on the Radical Right. It's George Bush's fault.

FreeAbortionsForLabradoodles: This is why we need a Fairness Doctrine.

DumbandivoteD: Yeah,Shrubby McBushHitler is responsible for this! KillCheney! KillCheney!

SwollenProstate999: That takes me back to St. Patrick's Day 1969...the grass was green, and so was the acid...anyways, there I was tossing bricks at the Pigs during the Green Beer Revolt at Columbia, and I found myself thinking that all the cops had Irish names (O'Hara, O'Reilly, McCormick, and so forth) and here they were beating the snot out of us peaceful protesters who were only there to peacefully protest against the country and the racist Bush/Reagan/Conservatard mindset that had oppressed their forebears...

Sk8terPunkkk: Posrstate you fukiin' gfay dude!!!!!! LOL! Yu Mamma went to a state collidge! Suk this, biotch!

That's how it usually goes on Leftie sites in my experience.

Anyways, I'm grateful for every visit I get. Feel free to wander around and vomit when it gets to be too much. Just don't say I didn't warn you that your frail liberal sensibilities would be raped. If you have something intelligent to add, be my guest.


Mr. Chap said...

lol! Just when I think I've gauged your level of insanity, you raise the bar on me.

Gonna check the Wankers out...

Matthew said...

You know what's scary? I had that chatroom conversation in my head before I wrote it down...