Things I Wish I Could Say Out Loud, Part One...

Ah, how one longs for the good old days, when seemingly no subject was considered taboo, and one could voice one's opinion without having half the room you're in cringe and go "ewwww!'.

I was thinking of this not too long ago, after the death of actress Jean Stapleton was announced. For those of  you who were born into the permanently puckered rectum version of this world (that would be post-Clinton Administration), Ms. Stapleton gained lasting fame and American-icon status as Edith Bunker, the long-suffering, dingbat-but-possessed-of-a-simple-wisdom bride of one Archie Bunker on television's All in the Family.

For those of you who believe television history began and ended with the first episode of Survivor, All in the Family was a situation comedy that aired in the early 1970's and ran into the 1980's which was, to put it mildly, grossly politically incorrect by today's anal-retentive standards. Which means that no one could even think of making All in the Family in this day-and-age. Anyone who tried would be shot outside the television producer's office for even suggesting it.


All in the Family was, for it's time, a revolutionary show. It brought racism, sexism, pro- and anti-religious discussions into every American living room. It discussed all sorts of topics that these days would be considered bad juju, or at best, might only be discussed from a singular (Leftard) point of view -- birth control and abortion, the Vietnam War, Politics, rape, crime, immigration, homosexuality, inter-racial marriage.

Living here today in Barack Obama's Airstrip One, a creation that has been aided and abetted by the former champions of Free Speech -- the Media, Academia, the Radical Left, the Civil Rights movement -- and speaking as one who actually experienced what was a truly freer time in America (All in the Family was a visible sign of the freedom) , I lament the loss of civil liberties, especially the freedom of expression, that was so apparent back in the days of bell-bottoms, hippie hair, and the last remnants of Flower Power.

What's even sadder is that many of  those who wore the bell-bottoms, the hippie hair and ascribed to Flower Power, and who were the champions of Free Speech (for whom All in the Family was considered a work of genius and not just entertainment) are today the Commissars of political correctness and speech codes. What they wanted so desperately in 1973 -- to 'raise awareness' of societal ills, and to drag every subject into the sunlight -- is in no way comparable to what they do now.

Which is to say, sic the IRS on their opponents, listen in on everyone's phone calls, deny that open discussion on race in America that Eric Holder once obliquely referenced, and force everyone into a suspended reality in which mutually-exclusive opposites are the only truths, and only then because millions have been brainwashed to suspend their critical faculties at the really criucial moment where they might just begin to understand what is really happening.

I miss those days. I miss the days when an Archie Bunker, loud-mouthed, ignorant, racist, homophobe could  spout off about his neighbors (The Jeffersons, a Black version of All in the Family), and be laughed at for holding such an opinion. That was the whole point, you know; to laugh at Archie's stupidity. It didn't have to be explained to anyone, it didn't require a mess of psychobabble or a political indoctrination for people to understand that what we, as an audience, were supposed to do was to forget about being shocked, and come to a mutual understanding through laughter.

Now, we're supposed to live in a world where there is no laughter. We could laugh back then, because we all understood the context. Today, there is no context. The Modern (Tiny)Mind of the average American doesn't understand context, even when you drill it into their skulls with a ten-pound sledge. We don't do context, except in one, significant, biased way. And that is in a political context, which is funny, as most people alive today couldn't spell either 'political' or 'context' if you put a gun to their heads. For them, context revolves not around logic, but feeling. We've been conditioned to feel rather than think, and so one is faced with the impossibility of battling an ideological movement (Leftardism) which revolves around feelings.

In days past, when All in the Family was a staple of every American's TV diet, we could understand context, even if it was presented to us through a fat, racist ignoramus, his put-upon sweetheart of a dopey wife, a hippie libtard, and some chick who later got stupid fat and begged for money to feed African children (perhaps if she pried her lips off that sweet roll....).

So, as a sort of tribute to Ms. Stapleton, who entertained me for years and whose passing has brought back a sense of nostalgia for a simpler time when one could speak one's mind and only have to worry about ridicule -- and not firing, investigation, government intimidation and possible criminal prosecution -- to bring back some sense of context, I would like to dedicate this list of Things I Wish I Could Say to all the people who made All in the Family a reality.

(Except for Rob Reiner (aka Meathead), who is a cock-sucking, ass-licking, scrotum-snuggling Leftard motherfucker.).

There will be two parts to this screed, each hitting some different subjects. Here is Part One:

What I Wish I Could Say Out Loud on the Subject of Race
*The only racism left in America is the racism practiced in the open by those who regularly accuse everyone else of being a racist.

*Racism is NOT the 'root cause' of the malaise that afflicts many minority communities, the cause is the minorities themselves. If you weren't a fat, lazy, douchebag without a high-school diploma, a distinct lack of intelligence, lacking in basic job skills, hygiene or morals, and most likely lugging a criminal record or addiction in your wake, you'd probably be happier and more productive.

*Liberalism has destroyed your sense of self. It has destroyed your ability to act on your own behalf. Need proof? Remember all those people stranded on rooftops or in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina, despite the fact that people were told to get the hell out of town a week before the storm hit? Those people sat around waiting for the government to do something about saving their lives. The same government that let perfectly good buses get flooded, and managed to move all the prisoners in the jails before getting to the elderly and sick. Those people are shining examples of how even the basic self-preservation instinct had been burned out of them by decades of dependency and the mindset it creates.

*The greatest solution to poverty is not to be found in the Welfare State or Affirmative Action; it's in getting your women to keep their knees in the same zip code long enough to avoid getting pregnant, and to stop servicing ten to twelve men (often complete strangers or mere acquaintances) a week. It is in holding the men who leave pregnant women in their wake with no visible means of support accountable for their actions, and making them live up to their responsibilities.

*Forget the idea of reparations. I don't owe you shit, and if you try to take it from me, we're going to have trouble. I can promise you, it will end badly for you. I did not enslave your ancestors and sell them into bondage. Your own people did that. I did not transport them across the Atlantic; that would be the Europeans. I did not force them to work my fields against their wills, for I have never owned a plantation. In fact, my people came to this country AFTER the slaves were freed, at the turn of the last century. I have never oppressed anyone, stolen anyone's 'fair share' (whatever the fuck that is). If you want something, do what I did: go out and fucking work for it, because no one is going to hand it to you.

There are probably more slaves in my Sicilian/Italian background (the Roman Empire) than there ever were your's, and you don't see me insisting I'm owed other people's money and property for it. Grow the fuck up, already.

*Affirmative Action was what George W, Bush referred to as "the soft bigotry of low expectations". He was ridiculed for it. You suffer for it. When Malcolm X said "Plymouth Rock landed on us..." he may not have realized that rhetorical flourish was a double-edged sword; one could interpret that to mean that while you find yourself in a culture which is not your own, it might behoove you to make an effort to adapt to it and embrace it as a means of furthering yourself. When in Rome, do as the Romans do...

In the end, all Affirmative Action is is a great big game of 'let's pretend'. We pretend that differences don't exist, ability and intelligence don't count, and that merit and character don't matter. All of which leads us to make the next two mistakes on this list, mistakes predicated upon assumptions generated by the Let's Pretend Syndrome:

*Michelle Obama is not a pleasant, intelligent, sophisticated, thoughtful, well-intentioned woman who is a role model for every American: she is a cast-iron racist cunt with an epic case of self-pity-and-loathing, and a permanent menstrual cycle, who believes that she is mystically owed...everything...and who has abused the power and privileges of her station to an extent not seen since Cleopatra reigned, I figure.

*Barack Obama is a flaming moron who makes Jimmy Carter look like Pericles of Athens. He is a shining example of just why we should re-institute Poll Taxes, English requirements, and IQ tests as a prerequisite for exercising the franchise, and who makes many seriously consider gutting the Voting Rights Act because there are apparently too many people with limited intelligence voting. Barack Obama may have been the first (half-) black president of the United States, but he will certainly be the last for decades, if not forever. America has gotten a taste of it's first 'Black' president, and it does not want another. It only pretends otherwise to spare your feelings.

*Message to the Minorities: Aspiring rap artist, Music Producer, Drug Dealer, Baby Mama and future First-Round Draft Pick are NOT jobs, nor are they usually viable career possibilities. Finish high school, stay out of jail, and find something constructive and productive to do with your life, because I'm not paying to support all your bastards, and I really resent having to pay for your three-hots-and-a-cot and cable TV in the Big House.

What I Wish I Could Say Out Loud to Immigrants
*This is America. It was founded by English-speaking people, therefore, we speak English. When my Italian ancestors came here, they had to learn English in order to assimilate and to gain access to the tools that allowed them upwards mobility, and then to fully integrate themselves into a society which then accepted them. So should you. It's bad enough that I get a recording when I call 911 before I'm connected to a living GED recipient with a union job who will send the police and firefighters to the wrong house 3-out-of-10 times, I should not have to hear the words para servicio en español, por favor pulse dos before they fuck up.

* Please learn English before you get here. If you didn't then please kindly leave, learn it, and then we can consider giving you a second chance.

*If it were up to me, the Border Patrol would shoot everyone who crosses the border illegally...but only after broadcasting a single warning in English. Under this regime, if you haven't learned English, and you won't turn back, then it sucks to be you. Have a nice day.

*I would not issue a birth certificate to any child born on US Soil who does not have at least ONE parent who is either a citizen, or who is authorized to be here. I would also not extend citizenship to same. In fact, if a foreigner gave birth in an American hospital, I would handcuff them to the gurney until they were strong enough to be shipped back to their country of origin, and only after we had harvested an organ or two to pay for the hospital stay. Unless, of course, they happen to have the wherewithal to pay their own bill.

*No, Mexico, you don't 'own' the American Southwest. You lost it in war. A war you started after you invited Americans into your country to turn barren desert into productive farmland and mines (because Mexicans couldn't), and then oppressed them, despite knowing their history of violent revolution when hard-pressed. What you didn't lose in war your government sold to us (It was called the Gadsen Purchase -- you can look it up). You have no claim on that land, as it was lost because your historically-corrupt governments were dumber and greedier than you are.

* If it were up to me, every application for a visa or asylum that originated in a country where Islam holds sway would be automatically rejected. Every application that had the name "Mohammed" on it would be immediately filed in the paper shredder.In fact, I would make it illegal for the State Department to issue visas and travel/work permits in about two-thirds of the countries on this planet.

*Note to American business: destroying the job market for American engineers, scientists, computer programmers, and people with other technical skills, and then begging the government to issue a shitload of H1-B visas to import the same in massive numbers is wrong. If this were a rational country where sanity held sway, you would all be drawn and quartered, tarred and feathered, and then reduced to ashes in a high-temperature oven, the remains to be auctioned off to the highest bidder for use as filler in kitty litter. In any other civilized country in the world, such collusion between business and government to save a few bucks would be construed as treason.

*In my lifetime, science has eliminated or controlled the spread of polio, measles, smallpox, tuberculosis, leprosy, whooping cough, influenza and syphilis. The bedbug was reduced to the status of afterthought. Since 12-16 million illegal aliens from all parts of the world have arrived on these shores, these once-eradicated diseases and pests have returned with a vengeance. Coincidence? I think not. And if that wasn't bad enough, you've brought us your exotic diseases and pests as well: SARS, seventy-two bird flus, West Nile Virus, AIDS, Hepatitis C, e coli and other food-borne diseases, and antimicrobial-resistant pathogens (like Flesh-eating virus).  

Not content to ruin our health with your vile diseases, you have begun to ruin our environment with your invasive species, like the Asian Carp, the Mediterranean Fruit Fly, more varieties of snakes than I've had hot dinners, Asian beetles, Zebra Mussels, and Snakeheads.

*For those of you who defend immigration (legal or otherwise) as a great exercise in 'diversity', I would say this: all the exotic restaurants and cab drivers are not worth the filth, the crime, the welfare fraud, and destruction of public institutions. In fact, I'd like to see people like you taken out and shot. Repeatedly. American culture worked because it was a common culture. "Diversity' has nothing to do with 'celebrating differences' and everything to do with driving wedges, economic, ethnic, political, between people.

What I Wish I Could Say Out Loud to Homosexuals
*I don't care if you're gay. I have my own problems, thank you very much.

* I object to the sort of homosexual for whom being gay has become the center of his/her universe. These people can't shut up about their gayness, who shove other people's noses in it, and assume that everyone else simply, secretly wishes to be little more than a satellite orbiting around their Gay, a bit player in the Gay Drama that is every gay man or woman. Do whatever you want behind closed doors; live your life as you see fit, I don't have to know about it, or worse, care. There is nothing worse than being told -- repeatedly -- by a whining fucktard that not only should I care, but that I'm somehow mystically required to. Fuck you and your extremely fucked up "lifestyle" -- you're not special, you're just crazy.

* No, Gay is not 'normal', nor is it a 'choice', nor even a 'lifestyle'. I have been around enough gay men and woman in my lifetime to notice that most have three things in common: they can't get enough attention (even negative attention), they're all emotional train wrecks waiting to happen, and they're all willing to shit all over deeply-cherished cultural norms either for fun, spite, or in revenge against the society that has somehow failed to notice just how special they think they are. Don't get me started on the Mommy and Daddy issues most of you seem to have that make mine seem trifling in comparison. I would estimate that at least half the Gays I know were sexually molested as children, and that's only the half that will talk about it (since they can't seem to shut up about anything). You are sick people, laboring with a variety of mental defects, emotional issues, and demented fetishes.

These get dangerously worse the longer you avoid serious mental help. All you need to prove this is the concept of 'transgendered' which is just a fancy word for "seriously fucked up person with incredibly deep self-esteem and identity problems, possessed of a wicked self-mutilation fetish".

* Tell the truth: the reasons why you want to get married are for the tax benefits, the legal benefits, and the insurance benefits. Also because it can help you adopt children (which some of you will then most likely abuse, because gays aren't born, they're made, and because you can do little else, given your own background), get into those swanky gated communities, and saves time, effort and harsh feelings when it comes to things like making medical decisions, and deciding whether a will is contestable or not.

Then again, some of you only wish to get married so that you can register at Bloomingdales, wear a stunning, off-the-shoulder Vera Wang (get your chest hair waxed, first!), live out your inner Cinderella fantasy, and to behave like and be the center of attention like all the other bitches on Bridezillas.