50 Shades of Bullshit

The Modern Liberal's Torrid Sado-Masochistic Relationship with Lies

Niccolo Machiavelli once postulated (paraphrased) that politics could not be conducted without The Lie. That while force was not always necessary to the business of politics, one could not truly practice the art with any great skill or subtlety without a healthy dose of fraud. Machiavelli justified -- or at least rationalized -- the Lie as an unavoidable accessory to power, for in order to exercise it over the Masses it is often necessary to make use of them -- their desires, fears, aspirations, hatreds, opinions -- and if the Masses were ever to discover that they were being used in this fashion, they would revolt.

The Lie is necessary; it serves to hide one's true motives from the people over whom one wields power. Machiavelli understood that achieving power means lying and justified it, perversely, as a matter of honesty. The Ruler who was honest about his intentions (always to himself) could conduct public affairs in a much more straightforward, more efficient manner. For his ultimate goal is not, strictly-speaking, always the most good for the most people, but rather to continue in power, for no one accepts or takes power with the intention of voluntarily giving it up.

This is the genesis of the old saying that "The Ends Justify The Means".

Douchebag of the Week (4/13/14): Eric Holder, Victim of Racism...

Pity Attorney General Eric Holder.

No, seriously.

It must be tough to live in an America which is so vilely racist that a member of a formerly-enslaved race can rise to become the Chief Law Enforcement Officer in all the land, with, apparently, no intention or clue as to how to actually, you know...enforce the law. Or maybe even understand it.

I mean, it can only have happened in someplace less-racist, like, say, Zimbabwe or China, that the son of Caribbean immigrants could grow up in the slums of New York, live a life of abject poverty in a hardscrabble fight for a decent life, be deprived of opportunity by the pernicious legacy of the slave trade, and then, by dint of hard work, inspiration, a do-or-die spirit, manage to raise himself up by his bootstraps to complete law school, to become a judge, engage in national politics, and then reach the very pinnacle of success by virtue of sheer competence and skill.

Yeah, that couldn't happen in racist America.

Then again, that's not Eric Holder's story, either.

Things I Wish I Could Say Out Loud, Part One...

Ah, how one longs for the good old days, when seemingly no subject was considered taboo, and one could voice one's opinion without having half the room you're in cringe and go "ewwww!'.

I was thinking of this not too long ago, after the death of actress Jean Stapleton was announced. For those of  you who were born into the permanently puckered rectum version of this world (that would be post-Clinton Administration), Ms. Stapleton gained lasting fame and American-icon status as Edith Bunker, the long-suffering, dingbat-but-possessed-of-a-simple-wisdom bride of one Archie Bunker on television's All in the Family.

For those of you who believe television history began and ended with the first episode of Survivor, All in the Family was a situation comedy that aired in the early 1970's and ran into the 1980's which was, to put it mildly, grossly politically incorrect by today's anal-retentive standards. Which means that no one could even think of making All in the Family in this day-and-age. Anyone who tried would be shot outside the television producer's office for even suggesting it.

Obama "Used Up All The White Guilt..."

Social Darwinism is on the way. It is inevitable, and it's going to be messy, because apparently one side in this coming Survival-of-the-Fittest fight is totally unprepared, and unwilling, to pull it's own weight.

Probably because it has been conditioned to operate in an environment that will no longer exist once the truth of the national finances is finally told, and the unavoidable austerity measures kick in.

If this article is even halfway true, the African-American community is truly fucked when the Federal Budget cutting begins, because it's apparent that without a lavishly-funded, supported by guilt, 'System' to both decry and exploit simultaneously, many black folks left to their own devices are probably going to starve or die of rickets.

With any luck, Je$$e Jackson will be first.

H/T The Big Feed Blog

Romney Must Win to Save Supreme Court For Republicans...

One aspect of the upcoming Presidential election that has received little attention is the subject of the Supreme Court.

And why shouldn't this topic be getting short shrift? After all, we'd apparently rather argue over who has released more tax returns, or at least that's what your Obamaniac American Press would have you believe really counts, notwithstanding the debate over whether this or that act of Muslim fundaMENTAList murder is terrorism or not, our government deciding to harass and censor a citizen to appease the Arab Street, or celebrating yet another successful Obamatard appearance on Letterman. We're kinda busy, you know, debating the important stuff, and the Supreme Court is about 10,546th on our list.

Or at least it's that low on the media's list.

This Just In: New York STILL Has the Dumbest Congressional Delegation in America...

Brooklyn democrat claims Slavery persisted in America until the 1890's.

You have to watch the video to believe it (can't embed it for some reason). As someone who was actually raised in Brooklyn, I'm both embarrassed, and totally unsurprised, since the neighborhood went to shit years ago -- just a soon as the Caribbeans began moving in in huge numbers.

Yeah, I said it. 

You know, It has gotten way past the point where one can still have hope for certain segments of American Society. The proof of this is reflected in the people these subsections of the population elect to important posts.

We apparently have one of those segments which has sent someone who is fundamentally confused about  rather significant parts of American History, going on television and announcing her ignorance to the world. I'd go as far as to wager that not only is this Congresswoman totally unaware of her ignorance, but that even after it had been pointed out to her, she'd still wear and embrace it like some sort of special commendation, because it is better to feign grace under pressure than to actually admit that you have brain damage..

After all, her job as a Congresscritter is not to have any specific knowledge, of anything, or to display some sort of basic competency; it's to find a way to keep the Welfare taps open for her 'constituents' (i.e. the professional beggar class), who are probably even dumber (and unconcerned about real issues) than she is.

Diversity Training Is Bullshit...

I've always said so, and now here's yet another article which bears this out.

Maybe They Should Call It a White-Old-Man-Cession...

Yes, yes, I know: I've been absent for a while, but I have been quite busy. Looking for a steady job in the blasted heath of what used to be the economic capital of the world can be quite the time-consuming task.

It's also becoming a damned-near futile one. Unless you speak a foreign language.

I say this because it is true. For upon entering the Department of Labor here on Staten Island (what used to be called 'The Unemployment Office'. In Reichsfuhrer Bloomdouche's New Yorkistan, we're supposed to call them 'Employment Centers' keeping with the now decade-long Bloomberg tradition of calling something exactly the opposite of what it's supposed to be for political purposes) one cannot help but think that English must have been replaced as the Chief Lingua Franca at some point, and whoever did it just forgot to tell us.

You will find all sorts of literature there in the Employment Center -- about your rights as a worker, about state wage and overtime laws, how to apply for welfare -- but few, if any, of these pamphlets are written in English. There's Spanish, Creole, Polish, Ukrainian, Arabic, Cantonese, but no English.

The same goes for the Bloomberg Administration's most efficacious, cost-effective, and low-tech solution to the problem of finding a job in tough economic times: the Job Board. Or, as I like to call it, a bulletin board full of minimum-wage grunt tasks that all end with the sentence 'Se Habla Espanol".

If you're a Native Born, English-speaking job seeker with actual skills, you're shit out of luck. The Employment Center apparently doesn't exist to get YOU a job -- for all the times I've been in there in the last five years, I can't recall anyone ever actually doing anything to help me find an employer. Instead, it's always been 'fill in this paperwork, and wait for us to call you. That call, incidentally, never comes -- and frankly, I wonder just what these people are doing on any given day (other than encouraging illegal immigrants to apply for welfare benefits while also hooking them up with jobs).

There was once a time when the Job Market made sense. People needed other people with actual skills, and so they did something that nowadays seems quaint and anachronistic: they employed a Personnel Agency to go out and find qualified candidates for whatever job they had available, and to perform a very valuable service in weeding out the marginally-qualified before arranging interviews. These Agencies put you in touch with prospective employers, there was often a series of interviews, and if you made the right impression upon the hiring manager, you very often got the job.

No more.

Today's Personnel Agency is  little more than a whorehouse for temporary workers. You get pimped out on short-term projects,and wind up having to split your earnings with the agency, who incidentally, also gets a fee for supplying your services. Temp work always sucked, but it never sucked this badly. You might also try to find some (again, temporary) work with what's euphemistically called a 'Consulting Agency', but again, this is sort of like Indentured Servitude: whatever contract you negotiate under the auspices of the 'Consultant Group', you're going to lose about half of it before you even see it.

That's if you can manage to elbow the Indians and Chinese out of the way first, so that you can even get a sniff at a contract. They're willing to work at such ridiculously-low rates that you wonder how it is that they manage to survive, until you remember that they come from countries where famine is a fact of everyday life. These are people who could stretch a pound of rice and a dozen cockroaches, for a family of six, out for half a decade, if they really had to, and skipping meals eighteen days in a row is no big deal.

Anyways,the Personnel Agency and 'Consultantcy' groups have had their primary function of connecting employer with potential-employee largely superceded by that most impersonal of contraptions, the computer.

See, nowadays, you may not even get to see another human being when applying for a job, and depending on how the computer is programmed to do it's job, you  may never even get an interview even when you're infinitely qualified. Your resume goes into a the dark, murky depths of cyberspace and winds up in some hiring manager's PC, and the next thing you know, his 'puter is deciding for him whether or not he should invest any time or effort on you.

I wonder: How many people would have been hired if they got as much as ten minutes of face time with a Manager,but they never got that opportunity because the computer rejected and shitcanned their resume before the Manager was even aware it had been received?

Well, don't fret that personal-factor bullshit none, because technology has an answer for that, too, in the form of Facebook. It has now become common to see a space on an online application where one can put in their Facebook and Twitter nonsense, particularly a link to a Facebook video of you trying to sell yourself to potential employers (why bother with videos when you can you just as easily invite people in to TALK to them? What's so 'interactive' about Facebook or Twitter, in this regard, and really: would you hire someone based upon their ability to use internet shorthand and avoid the 140-character limit?).

It isn't enough to have qualifications and experience, anymore, now you must master the intricacies of Social Networking and Personal Online Marketing just to find a job? What kind of bullshit is this, other than a way of keeping people -- that is,the older folks, who might be making more money -- OUT OF the job market?

That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the nuts-and-bolts of the Modern Job Search. It gets far worse.

Another useful tool in days past was to 'know somebody' who could whisper a word in someone else's ear, or perhaps get you a shot at a position, but those days are long gone. Despite all this bullshit about a 'connected' world and Social Networking, even if you DID 'know someone' the chances of them being able to connect you with a job opportunity are rather slim for two reasons:

1. There ain't no jobs, and the job your contact has they might only be managing to keep by hanging on by their fingernails. They ain't rockin' boats, they ain't stepping forward to put themselves out, and they certainly ain't bringing potential competition into the office.

2. You DO realize that most of the jobs you (and by that I mean 'I') can do with all your qualifications and experience can be done in India, China, Russia, Pakistan, South Africa, Ukraine, and Indonesia for a fraction of the price you'll ask for, right? Why should anyone pay you $150,000k a year, plus bennies, when they can get some third-party Asian coolie to do the same job for $15k (often less), and they don't have to give him medical, a pension, or vacation days?

Then there's the 'BA or equivalent' routine.

I don't know when it became necessary for EVERY job to require a bachelor's degree, but I can pretty much say that it is perhaps the most ridiculous requirement imaginable. I don't have a degree, myself, and quite frankly, I didn't NEED one; I learned my trade by doing, not by sitting in a classroom, learning to parrot a professor who has no actual EXPERIENCE, while piling up unpayable debt.

As a former hiring manager myself, I saw so many college graduates that I began to wonder if they weren't making them on an assembly line somewhere. Most of them, incidentally, couldn't write, count, or find their own asses with both hands. So, imagine what a shock it must be when you pick up an ad for a Computer Operator's job (a job that is, frankly, about as close to factory work as you'll find in the IT industry) and it requires a BA or 5 years of experience.

No problem: I have 20+ years of experience, right? Should be a shoe-in. Except there's no degree for a job that doesn't really require one. And if that excuse doesn't confuse you, try this other one:

Oh, right...I'm too old. Apparently 44 is the new 81 when it comes to employing people, especially if it's in the financial industry and they have to abide by some of the more onerous...and expensive ...state laws. Like the Pension Law that states that if you underwrite any State business, then you MUST contribute a lump-sum payment into your employee's pension fund, based upon their age. A 40-year-old working for a financial firm that underwrites New York State debt, for example, costs that financial company $10,000 a year in pension benefits before he even walks through the door for his first day of work.

Fail to make that pension payment, and you'll never underwrite another bond for New York State.

Of course, no one ever tells you you didn't get the job because you have no degree or are considered too old, you simply don't get called back. Ditto when a background check reveals you've been treated for a mental illness, despite the fact that your medical records are supposed to be private. I'm beginning to think it's probably worth eventually getting caught by claiming a disability on an application, just to have some additional legal protections,or get myself higher up on 'TheList'.

I guess I always could go back to school to learn a set of new skills, but applying for financial aid (State or Federal) is a bit tricky, you see. I'm not Black or Female enough, according to the one consultant I've spoken to on this subject (yes, he actually said those words!). Are you sure you don't have any Muslim, or perhaps Pacific Islander, in your background? Too bad; that would have made you golden.

Same thing for Government Work: not black or female enough, and besides, I have this nasty habit of scoring '100' on every civil service exam I've ever taken, which means I get called LAST for any job, assuming I even get called AT ALL.

I can't stock shelves at the local supermarket: I'm over-qualified, they say. I can't program mainframe systems, or run massive mainframe complexes; I'm under-qualified -- no degree -- despite the fact that I did exactly these things for over 20 years. I'm not bi-tri-or-quadri-lingual, which I'm told puts me at a distinct disadvantage in the 'Global Marketplace', but then again, the 'Global Marketplace' is right here in the United States, sucking up welfare benefits, undercutting wages, and filling the 'Employment Office' with pamphlets written in Sanskrit, Cuneiform and Hieroglyphics.

What to do, what to do?

I guess I'll have to do one of those 'reinventing myself' routines you used to see on Oprah before she got tired of hiding her raging 50-pound-a-day bonbon habit from public view. I mean, I could start a business of my own, but certainly not in this country, that's for sure. The taxes and ObamaCare mandates alone would kill you. But even going overseas to start a business could be tricky. After all, you need to find a business concept that will attract local interest.

That means any plans I had for teaching basic hygiene in El Salvador are probably doomed to fail before I even begin. Do you know how many e coli-on-spinach cases we'd avoid if Salvadorans just washed regularly before they picked it?

Ditto for my other great idea, which was to introduce soap to Pakistan. I figured I could corner the soap market,and be the biggest importer of the stuff by simply putting a few dozen bars of Ivory or Irish Spring in a suitcase -- this would represent about a 5,000,000% increase in Pakistani soap imports -- and selling them on a street corner in Karachi. Pakistanis will pay anything, you know, just avoid each other's stench.

Seriously, though, I have to find something to do, and soon. It's starting to look pretty bleak, now and I'm running out of time, what with a sick mother and bills to pay, and all that. So, if there's anyone out there that needs a relatively-smart guy with a work ethic, willing to pay a decent wage, drop us a line at the Lunatic's Asylum and make us an offer.

I'll pretty much consider anything that doesn't involve a foreign object being inserted -- or forcibly removed -- from my rectum.

President Frequent Flyer Miles Strikes Again...

Can you imagine just what sort of Third-World shithole we'd be living in by now if this guy were actually trying to do the job to the best of his ability?

The best thing about Barack Obama is all the time he spends NOT being President of the United States, in fact often avoiding the job as if it came with a case of full-blown AIDS. Which means the important aspects of the job of President are probably being left to a motley assortment of others: Joe Biden, Lord-knows-how-many-ideologically-driven-Czars, White House aides and advisers, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

If you can find a bigger collection of retards anywhere on Planet Earth, I'll send you $5.

I hate to engage in racist stereotypes, but it needs to be said, I think:

Barack Obama likes picking up the paycheck, he likes the perks that come with the office,. he believes he's entitled to do whatever he can get away with -- but he's one of the laziest people I've ever seen in my life, and his inattention to detail is so pronounced that you begin to suspect that all of his qualifications are fake, begin to remember that the lofty speeches are written by someone else, and that he's probably passed through Life on Affirmative Action. One gets the impression that Barack Obama spends his days in the Oval Office playing X-box and pick-up basketball, and when it's necessary to trot him out in public, he's been told what to say, and since he has the attention span of a flea, he invariably fucks even that up.

"Unengaged" does not even begin to describe Barack Obama.

So far, if he's accomplished anything in nearly 3 years, it has been to reinforce pre-existing and negative racial stereotypes about the work ethic -- or lack thereof -- of black men.

Another vacation? More golf? Really? You know,Mr. President, it is usually customary for someone to actually DO SOMETHING before becoming mentally and physically tired enough to require a vacation. But, I'm a generous guy; I've seen what happens when you're apparently trying your best, and I'm willing to make you a deal:

You can have all the vacation time you want, right up until the election. Play golf every hour of every day. Send Michelle to Portugal, Sri Lanka, Timbuktu, for all I care, with as many servants as she arrogantly thinks she needs and is entitled to (she's forgotten that She's First Lady of the United States, not the Queen of the Universe). Give Air Force One the workout you absolutely know she's just craving. Hell, I'll even pay for your hotel room...oops, I already do...but that's beside the point.

Take all the time off you want, Mr. President, because the less you do, the better life gets for everyone else;

The more you're away, the less Washington screws with us.

The more you're away, the less time I have to spend watching you on my television screen while simultaneously trying to hold back a projectile vomit.

The more you're away, the more Presidential even the weakest Republican 2012 candidate looks. You make them all appear infinitely qualified by comparison, and your only hope for re-election is to stay off the idiot box so that people can't make that comparison and become complacent on Election Day, unable to make the choice between Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich.

The more you're away, the less sanctimonious and hypocritical blather I'll have to listen to.

Go on, Mr. Odingbat, take that extra week off...we've earned it.

The Lunatic Branches Out...

I have recently been asked to become a guest blogger over at the Insane Asylum. I thank Mr.Chap for this opportunity to display my mental defects to a bigger slice of Amereica, and to a brand-spankin' new audience, vis-a-vis, an African-American audience.

The first installment -- a discussion on the topic of Hate Crimes Legislation -- was posted this morning.

So, scoot on over to the Insane Asylum and look for a new (we hope regular) feature entitled "Affirmative Reaction", where this clueless White Boy dares to boldly go where no Man has gone before, and asks all the Politically Incorrect questions that his unfiltered stupidity brings to mind on the differences in perception on all topics racial.

And then take a good look at everything else on offer at the Insane Asylum, because it's a pretty cool and interesting place all on it's own which deserves more than just a casual visit. You'll be glad that you did.

Multiculturalism is Dead...

Passe. Out of fashion. Old-fashioned. Antiquated, Belated, Outmoded, Dated, Obsolete, a Relic. So YESTERDAY. It came, and like a hoarde of locusts, left nothing but a chaotic desolation in it's wake, and it's inherent weaknesses were exposed in such a way that even the densest amongst us stood up and took notice.

And by that, I mean the Europeans.

It began innocently enough; Angela Merkel noticed it first, and declared that German multiculturalism was dead, that it had failed, and that this whole nonsense about being sensitive to other people's bullshit feelings -- particularly when those people arrived on our civilized shores from places where the Elders still dance around bonfires, shaking snakes, a pork-bone stuck through their nose -- was nothing less than an outright scam designed to suck revenue and extra-constitutional rights from the host country.

She was right, of course. Although, I do have to say this; when the Germans begin to rally for monoculturalism, one must begin to wonder just what comes after the pronouncement. The German history of "defending German Culture" usually involves at least an invasion or two, a continental War that fairly explodes outwards, and possibly a string of concentration camps.

Merkel's view was later echoed by David Cameron, Prime Minister of Britain, who basically came out and said (paraphrased) "I don't particularly care if you're a Nomad, Beggar or Bandit who kneels to a black rock in the desert, beats his wives, buggers his livestock, and smells like a World-War-Two sweatsock left to marinate in a vat of onions, vomit and rancid cheese, this is Britain, and we're better than you are -- so get with the program". This was delivered with just a hint of "if you don't like it, then kindly leave". I loved it.

And then it happened. I am left to wonder whether it was just a matter of time, or whether it was the impulsive French desire to jump up and down shouting "ME TOO!", but then Nikolas Sarkozy, The Parisian Munchkin, had the audacity to do something that French leaders haven't been particularly known for: he tells the truth about multiculturalism, bluntly and succinctly.

One wonders just when it is that the morons who run this country will finally wake up and come to the same conclusions their European counterparts have?

Perhaps, one day, that collection of buffoons we call "Mr. Mayor", "Governor", "Congressman", "Senator", and "Mr. President", will finally become aware of what is so glaringly obvious and begin the work of defusing the ticking time bombs in our society, that have, in large part, been built with government funding by a political class that on the one hand (cynically) wishes to be seen as "inclusive", while with the other it set up a system which can be milked for votes, funds, good press, and public support.

Yeah, I'm not holding my breath, either.

Imagine what might happen if this addiction to the drug of multiculturalism went the way of the dinosaurs, and we started demanding assimilation, and equality before the law. Imagine the problems we could begin to solve -- Affirmative Action would be a thing of the past, we'd be serious about rounding up and deporting illegal aliens and then keeping them out, no more bi-lingual education to waste precious funds on, freer-and-cleaner elections with much less voter fraud, lower crime rates, previously-vanquished-but-now-returning vermin and childhood diseases would again become a distant memory, the Welfare Rolls would be be drastically cut, Healthcare would be cheaper and easier to obtain, Taxes would fall, deficits would close, Academia might actually teach instead of indoctrinate, no more home-grown Jihadis.

All of the problems I've just mentioned have their origin in, wholly or in part, the idea of a multicultural society, or more precisely, wholly or in part to the political manipulation of the idea of the multicultural society.

I don't say "cut the multiculturalism crap and all of our problems are solved", I simply say "cut the multicultural crap, demand assimilation based upon True American Principles and Social Norms, turn the recipient and parasite classes into taxpaying citizens, and watch a lot of these problems begin to melt away."

We in the West have put a steadily-declining value on citizenship, and have downplayed, or largely forgotten, the achievements of our own, spectacular and uniquely-successful culture. We have done this in an effort to be seen as "nice", to be seen as "tolerant", and the recipients of all this solicitude are typically people who would cut your throat as soon as look at you, and who have discovered that all this bending over backwards to be seen as "accommodating" has dollar signs attached to it, with the ability to form, literally, countries-within-a-country, and to further dilute the host culture with ideas and activities that are inimical to it, and which will ultimately destroy it from within.

Don't think so? Then consider this: what, exactly, is sooooo much better about cultures that practice honor killings, bigamy, clitoral mutilation, Sharia Law, Cousin marriage, eat "Bush Meat", or put no value upon an education or a work ethic, just for examples?

And we're making these sorts of concessions, devaluing our concepts of citizenship and the corresponding system of rights and responsibilities that come with it, allowing the rape our culture and institutions, the draining of our public coffers, for...what, exactly? A few good restaurants? Cab drivers who don't speak English? Here's the ONE thing you need to remember about multiculturalism;

If some douchebag's host culture was so great, so much better than ours in every measurable way that we don't demand assimilation as the price of citizenship, then why the hell did they ever leave it?

A Trip Through My Mailbox,Part III...

There are an awful lot of new visitors to the Asylum this week. I welcome you, and hope you enjoy your visit. Feel free to read anything you want and to post anything you like. I usually don't answer my e-mail (unless it's really good), but the Asylum Elves are on strike (they want dental, you see) and so in my capacity as Management, it behooves me to take on the menial tasks that they used to do in the name of good customer service.

Q: Wow! You've been blogging for a long time now! How come I never saw this blog before?

A: Because you weren't looking for it, obviously. Then again, I wasn't sitting here trying to be noticed. I don't advertise, and frankly, when I started this crap seven years ago it was supposed to be therapy. I never really expected anyone to actually read it, so I didn't promote it. Really, I mean, some of the stuff I wrote back then is absolutely awful, but in my defense, if I wasn't drunk, then I was zonked on Xanax or Zoloft , or suffering from severe sleep deprivation. Promoting my blog -- with my mental distress pasted all over it -- wasn't exactly something I was out to achieve.

If you've found this blog in the past, it was completely by accident. If you've found it in the last week or so, it was pretty much under the same circumstances. I didn't expect to find my rantings on Twitter, or for the New York Times to come a'callin' with a request for an interview. Anyways, so long as you're here, you might as well get a drink and fasten your seat belts; it's a wild ride pretty much all the time.

Q: Why are you so angry?
A: This is NOT anger. Believe me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry -- as it's not even half as funny. What some take for anger is simply me being at a point in my life where I simply do not give a shit about what anyone else thinks of me. Therefore, I pull no punches, and I say exactly what is on my mind. Some people are uncomfortable with this level of frankness, but as I said, I really don't give a shit what you might think about it. This is still America, and I can say whatever I goddamned please.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and I certainly expect that most won't. I'm also aware that this sort of blunt expression makes some people shake their heads and tsk-tsk, especially with the language that gets used here, but I'm sorry: I'm a native New Yorker and it's fucking genetic. Deal.

Q. Why do you hate Muslims/Christians/Women/Blacks/Poor People/Democrats so much?
A. If you seriously have to ask why anyone should hate Muslims, then I suggest you have your family sign that Do Not Resuscitate Order right fucking now. But if you must know, the story goes something like this:

I had a freakin' absolutely awesome life before 9/11. I had a bitchin' career. I had a ton of money. I was comfortable, and although I had to work hard, that never really bothered me any. Then 19 idiots who couldn't get the blond girls to chuck' em one decided that it would be a good idea to ram a couple of airliners into the tallest buildings in New York City in the name of their phony-baloney God. I was lucky --no one close to me was hurt or killed that day --but mostly because I had only left 1 WTC a minute or so before the first plane struck. But I did find myself directly underneath the first kamikaze, and if that, plus witnessing the murders of 3,000 other people, doesn't freak you out, there's something wrong with you. The resulting mental disorders cost me everything, and seven years of my life.

As for Christians, well, if one God would force 19 douchebags to kill themselves in order to get it's attention, then any God is likely to do the same. Besides, I get a chuckle out of people who tell me their God is all-powerful, all-knowing, knows what's in my heart, and is watching me 24-hours a day who can then turn around and tell you that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are pagan constructs that will lead the True Believer off the Righteous Path.

I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time Peter Cottontail or Ol' St. Nick demanded the blood of innocents, flooded the planet because no one would listen to them, sanctioned war and slaughter,and threatened to return to lead the last great battle that will destroy the world. Apart from a little bit of good-natured breaking-and-entering (in which they actually leave stuff behind!), Kris Kringle and Peter Rabbit are actually far more amenable; the worst they ever did was to skip someone's house, or leave a lump of coal as a gentle reminder of the wages of sin; Yahweh tosses people into great big lakes of fire and brimstone to their eternal torment at the hands of a fallen angel that She created, but then couldn't control, either.

I don't hate women. I love women. I just hate the confused-by-feminism little girls hiding in a woman's body. Especially the ones that tell you "I don't need no man!", and then beg you to pay their rent, buy shit for them, and then solve all their problems brought about by their own stupidity for them, and then take out their unrequited revenge fantasies against the Ex Husband/Boyfriend that did them wrong on you. Sorry, but there's plenty of vaginas out there, and I prefer the ones without baggage and some common sense.

I don't hate blacks, either. I just think it's easier to automatically assume that all black people are clueless, insensitive, loudmouthed, selfish. pigheaded, bigoted doofuses, because after a lifetime of ersatz "Reverends", Affirmative Action, and spending what seems like a year of my life in Diversity Training and monthly Diversity Meetings, that's what they seem to think of me, sans evidence. What's good for the goose, and all that. However, if a black person should happen to earn my respect (much like I expect to have to earn theirs), then we're cool.

As for the rest, what's to LIKE about welfare queens and democrats (sorry, that was redundant)?

Hope this answers some of your questions, Newcomers! Oh, and Merry Fuckin' Christmas.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell Gets Through the Senate...

Via Althouse.

Expect to see this headline very soon:

"Army Medic Court Martialled: Refused to Treat Fallen Comrade He Believed Had AIDS."

Should happen any day now.

It all reminds me of these classic Monty Python Sketches:

The Recruitment Office.

Court Martial/Trivializing the War.

Ooops! I forgot this one!