On the newfangled-and-iron-fisted idea that Barack Obama (supposedly a Constitutional Scholar? Go figure!) and a bunch of died-in-the-wool Libtards can force the Catholic Church to provide contraceptives and abortion benefits for it's employees in violation of the First Amendment, I have the following thing to say:
Barack Obama can force the Church to provide the Morning-After Pill to it's employees just as soon as:
Obama mandates that every mosque in America should allow unfettered access to it's grounds, members and records by the FBI,24/7/365.
Obama mandates that the ACLU, NOW, Planned Parenthood, the Occupy Movement, the EnvironMENTAList organizations and every Labor Union in America open their books to a public audit and media scrutiny.
Obama turns over the names and addresses of all his illegal foreign campaign donors.
Obama mandates that ACORN identify every fake name and address it ever ginned up during a voter registration drive.
Obama mandates Racial and Ethnic Profiling by the TSA.
Obama orders the Justice Department to stop suing states over immigration laws the federal Government won't enforce, and prosecute the Black Panthers for Voter Intimidation.
Obama discloses the cost to taxpayers of every vacation he's taken, and the expense of every one of Michelle's foreign-shopping-sprees-disguised-as-diplomatic-events.
Obama declares George Soros an Enemy of the State, and sends a CIA or SEAL hit team out to arrest him and bring him to trial.
Obama tells us just why Richard Trumka has dibs on the White House guest rooms.
Obama mandates that every person who has ever received a welfare check start paying that money back, plus interest.
Obama releases his college transcripts and admits to having been a beneficiary of Affirmative Action.
Obama tells the truth about Jeremiah Wright.
Obama demands that Tim Geithner, Hilda Solis, Charlie Rangel, et. al., do jail time and cough up the fines for tax evasion, like everyone else.
Obama mandates that Robert Byrd's name be taken off every edifice in West Virginia, including all the signs over the Men's Room door on the Interstate rest stops.
Obama declares Louis Farrakhan a terrorist, and the Nation of Islam a terrorist organization.
Obama mandates an end to collective bargaining rights for Public Unions.
Obama mandates that every captured illegal alien be branded upon the forehead (for easy identification) and forced to walk back to whatever Third-World shithole they emerged from at gunpoint.
Obama returns the Nobel Peace Prize he got for simply being (half-) black.
Obama has Al Gore committed to a mental institution.
Obama reveals just who it was that Valerie Jarret slept with to get that job.
Obama buys his own crappy Chevy Volt.
Obama forces Solyndra, EnerOne, etc., etc, to repay the billions in stolen taxpayer dollars they got for being his campaign bundlers, plus interest.
Obama tells Jeffery Immelt to go fuck himself.
Obama finally admits the truth; that he's an incompetent nincompoop ideologue, far out of his depth in the first real job he's ever had, making it up as he goes along.
Obama gets the Immigration and Customs Enforcement to deport all of his illegal-alien-welfare-cheating-drunk-driving relatives.
Obama demands Eric Holder's resignation on the grounds that Holder is a complete retard.
Obama fires every third Government Employee as excess-to-needs, and cuts the pay of the remainder in half.
Obama arrests Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, and has them imprisoned in Gitmo.
Obama actually causes the seas to recede.
Obama gives one, solitary speech that he's actually written himself, provided it hasn't been written in crayon.
Obama saves the taxpayers money and jettisons the gold-plated teleprompters.
Obama finishes the Border Fence,and then orders minefields planted along it's entire length.
Obama partakes of his own policies, does the decent thing and resigns, and takes those 99 weeks of unemployment benefits.
I could go on and on, but this will do to begin with. if you have any to add to the list,please feel free to contact us here at the Lunatic's Asylum, or respond in the comments box.
I fully intend to send the entire list -- including your responses -- to the White House in a week. If I'm not here the week after that, assume that I have been declared an Enemy of the State and have someone get me a good lawyer.