Staten Island is the New New Orleans...

I will be updating this post periodically today. 

The picture at left is an oil lighter that was lifted by a storm surge right out of New York Harbor during Hurricane Sandy, and dropped on the shoreline near the town of Stapleton (which in case you didn't know, was once home to the Staten Island Stapletons of the National Football League).This ship is now apparently leaking residual oil left in it's tanks, leaving the neighborhood awash in fuel oil, with a potential time bomb ticking near populated areas.

In addition, there is now a report of more leaking tankers and a potential oil spill in the Arthur Kill, along Staten Island's shared shoreline with New Jersey.

NBC News with video and report of the damage on Staten Island. This will break your heart.

Here's a mini slide show of the damage done to Staten Island by Sandy.

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Seen on the streets of my old neighborhood of New Dorp, yesterday:

A van bearing Massachusetts license plates pulls up to storm-ravaged Cedar Grove. Six people get out, and start videotaping and taking still photos of the storm damage. They are not wearing Press badges, and are apparently tourists who either deliberately made the trip down to New York City to see the damage, or tourists who were caught in New York during the storm.

They are asked by someone actively helping a neighbor in distress (that would be my sister, who has been in Cedar Grove every goddamned day since the storm ended helping her girlfriend who has lost her house clean up and salvage anything possible) if they are there to help or "just take fucking pictures...". The photographers respond that they are there to help. At which point, my sister asks them, "well, what do you have in that van?".

The photographers tell her that they have just been shopping, and they have bought brand new blankets and bedding, at which point my sister demands that they turn it over to her, seeing as how there's people in this neighborhood without so much as a blanket, and because my sister can be one tough, scary bitch when she's pissed off, they comply. Whereupon, they got back in their van and fled. My sister then distributed the blankets to some people in the neighborhood.

One question: There is no gasoline in these parts, and the only two stations that I know of capable of pumping gas at this time have long lines of cars waiting for fuel, and are limiting customers to $40 of gas, total. Where did these people get gasoline to come sightsee in other people's misery, one wonders?

Also seen on Staten Island: roving scrap metal salvage trucks pulling right up to storm-devastated homes, and asking the owners if they can haul off this or that bit of twisted metal, often as these people are trying to save whatever they can from the flooded pile of kindling they used to call "home". Many are just taking whatever they think they can get away with, and I'm told that some are offering to take the scrap away "for free" -- like it's some kind of public service? -- without compensating anyone. Average price of scrap aluminum this morning? $2.10/pound. Weight of aluminum siding on the average home? About 1/3 of a pound, per square foot. These guys are becoming a nuisance, and are interfering in recovery efforts. In some instances, they are making conditions more dangerous, as pulling scrap metal out of a pile of debris can often cause further collapses.

In other post-Hurricane Staten Island News:

Mayor Bloomdouche, the absolutely worst Mayor ever, has decided that it is more important to reposition police, fire and other emergency services to support this Sunday's NYC Marathon (which begins on Staten Island at the Verrazano Narrows Bridge) than it is to keep them on duty helping people recover from a natural disaster.

Update: The Marathon has been cancelled! Finally, someone grew a fucking brain in Gracie Mansion, or maybe it was the tremendous public outcry? Who cares: the last thing we needed was 50,000 skinny, mostly-white, yuppies running around, passing out ion the streets, and shitting their pants.

Staten Island may Become Obama's Katrina: This sort of crass stupidity is par for the course for our Mayor, who up until now has busied himself with keeping the Outer Borough Proles out of Manhattan, making sure we don't have too much salt in our street meat, and eradicating the deadly threat of 32-oz. sodas. Bloomdouche may have once called himself a Republican, but he has always been a Nanny-state-loving, died-in-the-wool, tell-you-all-how-to-live Libtard of epic proportions. This proves it. Nero fiddled wile Rome burned, Bloomberg diddles while New York Drowns and Starves. if you ever needed more proof as to why Liberals need to be checked, you have now had three glaring examples in the last 17 years: Nagin spent the early portion of Katrina in a fetal-position panic attack, Bloomberg worries about the Marathon and fat welfare recipients while his city is hammered by a hurricane, and Obama toured the ravaged Jersey Shore for a photo op and then headed to Las Vegas for another fundraiser.

By the way, there are more people on Staten Island -- a single borough of New York City -- than there ever were in New Orleans. That's almost 500,000 people crammed onto a 12-by-7 mile-long island, but we're mostly white, and there's a democrat in the White House, so no one gives a shit.

Update: Bloomberg is about to get his Marie Antoinette treatment, as people in Brooklyn and Staten Island are approaching full boil because of the Mayor's decision to go ahead with Sunday's marathon.

And here, Bloomberg is being compared to New Orleans helpless and hapless Mayor, Ray Nagin. And not in a flattering way, either. Hey, at least Nagin eventually left his fancy hotel room to walk through the muck.

In the meantime, pleas for help, for food, water and clothing go unheeded, and there are threats of riot in the air here in Staten Island, especially after the bodies of two young boys (ages 4 and 2), swept out of their mother's arms by a surging tide, were finally found. 

Another article on Bloomberg's fucked up priorities: desperately-needed generators being diverted to Marathon pre-race set up. This is occurring while Bellvue Hospital is evacuating patients due to lack of power.

Update: here's a link to the story on the two Lost Boys. Rumor has it that a relative denied their mother shelter as she tried to avoid the storm, and some reports say it was local residents --not relatives -- but no one is quite certain. Stay tuned, because this story is one to turn your stomachs.

The Red Cross hasn't even been here yet.

More tragic news: Hero cops saves family, then drowns in his own basement.

Just as soon as I get the information, I'll be posting some links where you can donate to help relief efforts in the Forgotten Borough of New York City, In the meantime, you can donate cash, food, clothing and anything you think people might need to the Salvation Army , The American Red Cross, and Catholic Charities, which all have good track records with providing aid just as quickly as they can.

Some Good News: Local Hotellier will not displace those left homeless by Sandy. When this is all over, someone had better nominate Richard Nicotra for sainthood. He is a shining example of how private citizens utilizing their own resources are better at helping their neighbors in need than any government.

Update: You'll be happy to know that Katie Holmes and her daughter, Suri, managed to escape their multi-million dollar Chelsea apartment last night, for better digs with electricity, running water, and no floating bodies of dead animals, a condition only the peasants of Staten Island should have to suffer. It's a fucking waste of newsprint to follow the lives of the super-famous and super-wealthy, while others are suffering.You people who worship celebrutards should be taken out and shot, as you are poison to the gene pool.

Update from New Jersey: Unionized utility workers have raised holy hell that non-union workers from out -of-state have been asked to come and restore power to some 4 million New Jerseians (like my aunt in Netcong) currently without power and water services, because Heaven Forbid overpaid union dumbasses don't have an opportunity to milk the double-and-triple overtime cash cow during a natural disaster.

Because it's not truly a disaster until Chuck Schumer shows up: Senator Dingleberry arrives and immediately patronizes a Staten Island woman in front of her storm-damaged home. They say the most dangerous place on Earth is between Chuck Schumer and a television camera. Perhaps this dash to the kleig lights will finally spell the end of this national embarrassment. New York has the absolute WORST Congressional delegation in America. If they aren't merely corrupt, then they're clueless and condescending. Not to be left out, Senator Placeholder, Kirsten Gillbrand, also made an appearance, if only to get her face on television, too, because she's otherwise about as useful as tits on a bull.

One wonders how many cops were needed to escort Senator Asshole around so he could get his picture taken?

Glad I Quit When I Did...

Citigroup is full of crooks.

They could have asked me in 2004, when I left for good; I would have saved everyone a great deal of trouble, and money, and none of this would have come as a great shock.

Now, as to Barack Obama and Kirsten Gillibrand;

When large corporations give large amounts of (other people's) cash to such medocrities, it's usually because the corporation simply hopes to buy the votes and support of people who are, literally, either too dumb to recognize graft when they see it, or worse, whom the corporation believes are just as corrupt as they are.

Kirsten Gillbrand is, and has been, nothing but a placeholder -- a reliable vote that backs up that other abomination, Charles Schumer, in a den of thieves (the U.S. Congress) that steals far more money from the taxpayer and it's customers than the board of Citigroup could imagine in their wildest of dreams. She needs to be a goner come November, even if that means electing whatever chimpazee someone taught to speak that ultimately runs against her.

Barack Obama is with us for at least 2 more years, unfortunately, butit behooves us to dilligently take note of who puts money in his pockets, too, if only to ensure that he doesn't pull the Full Mugabe and use his position to line his own pockets while his country slides into chaos.

Dear New York State Pols...

The Voters Speak, and they say "YOU SUCK!"

Three comments on this poll:

a) It's sad that only 47% found it necessary to hand out an 'F'. That means the other 53% is probably feeding on the public tit one way or another, or is perhaps too stupid to avoid sticking their private parts in a wall outlet without a great big expensive government program to prevent it.

b) People are not so much mad at a 3-months-late state budget (late budgets are like piles of dogshit around here -- it's everywhere, and sometimes despite your best efforts, you can't avoid them). What they ARE mad at is that the assholes in Albany don't even seem to notice, or care, that the state is broke, and don't seem very interested in addressing or properly reacting to that sad fact of life. They seem determined to maintain the current level of unsustainable spending and increasing taxes to cover the costs. In some less-civilized places, this sort of thinking might get you shot. In New York State, and on Wall Street, it rates you a chauffeur-driven limo.

c) I'm absolutely shocked that Gov. Paterson only got an 'F' from 25% of those polled. That's a stunning number, and if I were Paterson, I could almost spin this into something bordering on a major accomplishment. This just goes to prove that in New York State, the blind (literally) do lead the blind. Of course, Paterson will never be re-elected and the Republican party can only manage Designated Loser Rick Lazio to put up against Andrew Cuomo, so we're about to get the Venal and Stupid to lead the blind, which in our sorry state, is almost a 1,000% improvement.

In other New York State Political News, we read of the achievement of Kirsten Gillibrand, who somehow managed to raise $2 million for her campaign for the Senate. The same article goes on to explain that Gillibrand has $7.2 million on hand to run for the Senate Seat she currently holds, and never once does this article attempt to explain to it's good readers just how it is that such a total dumbass, political hack, who's job description reads "Chuck Schumer's Yes Girl", has managed to raise that sort of money without once mentioning "kneepads" and "KY Jelly".

This is approximately three times what the richest of her potential Republican opponents has on hand, and that guy is facing a three-way primary fight for the GOP nod.

If you ever needed any more proof that the politics of this state, no the politics of the Entire Nation, are a cesspool of corruption, then this is it. Non-entity Kirsten Gillbrand has $7 million dollars to buy votes with, but not a single Senatorial accomplishment to her name. She was selected to be a place-holder for Hillary Clinton when the Crusty Ol' Black Pantsuit became Secretary of State, and in that short period of time Gillibrand has apparently learned the art of separating democratic-party advocacy groups from their cash, and accomplished very little else.

The only hope is that the decent people of New York come out in droves and throw the douchebags in the Legislature out of Office, and put up enough votes to override the Permanent Underclass' tally and so protect us from the Cuomos and Gillibrands of this world. I don't hold out much hope.

State of Confusion...

Charlie Rangel. David Paterson. And now, you can add Eric Massa to that short and disgusting list.

A tax-cheating Tax Writer, a corrupt governor who followed another corrupt governor, and an alleged homosexual harasser. This is the cream of the New York Democratic Party.

When it was republicans, and it was Duke Cunningham (bribe taker) , Tom DeLay (perennial line-walker), Mark Foley (alleged pedophile) and Larry Craig (Airport Men's Room Lothario), there was no talk of "leave of absences", no stepping aside so as not to "become a distraction to my party" or feeble defenses like "I just used salty language"; the talk was all about resignations. Those men, when caught with their hands in the cookie jar, or in lesser and various states of inflagrante delicto, were hounded out of office. Mostly by their fellow republicans amidst the high-pitched keening of their democratic counterparts who were outraged, outraged I tell you!, at their stunning lack of propriety and inexcusable corruption.

So much so that they became poster children for the 2008 anti-republican Congressional races that created Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who vowed to "drain the swamp" and run the Most Ethical Congress in the History of the Universe.

Unless, of course, that meant she had to prosecute democrats for ethical and legal lapses. Republicans at first covered for Craig and Foley in order to keep their votes in the last days of the Profligate Republican Congress, but eventually the more reasonable and responsible voices within the party talked them out of that shameful convention. With ObamaCare on the block, and Nancy needing every last vote, and every last avenue for back-room deal-making, Charlie Rangel doesn't have to resign; he's granted a "leave of absence".

Robert Packwood was hounded from office over his sexual improprieties, and serial sexual harassment of female staffers. A "victory" that democrats still revel in to this day. They took great delight in exposing Craig's and Foley's alleged homosexual peccadilloes and alleged pedophilia, but they'll eventually circle the wagons for Massa -- there's gay sexual predators and then there's Our Gay Sexual Predators, apparently. The jury is still out on this one, but don't discount Nancy's ability to delay investigation of Massa long enough to get his vote on ObamaCare. Massa will stay for as long as she can possibly manage.

As for David Paterson, well, the mind is just baffled. Siccing the State Police on the ex-girlfriend of your homeboy to keep her from getting restraining order against him is pretty low. Now Paterson is accused of accepting "illict gifts" (i.e. bribes), and there have also been rumors of sexual misconduct on his part. Rod Blagoevich is facing federal prosecutors for simply talking about potential corruption, it seems, and David Paterson isn't for his actual corruption.

These three men are simply the boils. The pustules that arise when the disease begins to manifest itself. They are the indication that something is wrong with the Body Politic in New York State. When you add the most visible signs of these three to the other symptoms, the raging itch (Chuck Schumer), the Dizziness (Kirsten Gillibrand), the nausea (Louise Slaughter), the bad smell (Adolphus Towns), the constipation (Sheldon Silver), the loss of bladder control (Anthony Weiner), and you don't need to be a physician to diagnose the problem; They're all democrats, and democrats infest this state from top to bottom.

Tammany Hall didn't disappear: it simply took a long vacation. The Party that once boasted Daniel Patrick Moynahan, now boasts Spitzer, Rangel, Massa and Paterson.

The usual remedy, a good shot of GOP anti-biotic, could have been the best and least painful treatment, but the New York GOP is in disarray. It's i the position of being unable to choose between execution by firing squad, hanging or being crushed under heavy stones. There is, for all intents and purposes, NO GOP AT ALL in New York State. It's been destroyed from within in pointless battles between fiscal and social conservatives, and the regional cronyism that sees candidates elevated for election based solely on "who they know". It's a party that nominates a Rick Lazio or a Dede Scozzafazza over coffee in which less than a dozen GOP bigwigs were ever assembled.

The last batch of republicans of note in this state included Guiliani, D'Amato, Molinari, and Pataki. Can you begin to realize how long ago it was that those were household names? The current version of a successful republican is Micheal Bloomberg, and I wouldn't follow him into my own house; for him, "republican" was simply the easiest label to buy.

The New York GOP is spent. The new generation of democratic party politicians is like a strain of penicillin-resistant syphilis. The GOP can't mount any sort of a comeback when it's ranks are depleted and what remains behind is a mix of hapless dolts, electoral punching bags, and stock jokes. New York State may be lost, except for one joker in the deck; the Tea Party.

Right now, it looks as if the combination of public outrage (not in New York City, of course. Here, the recipient class will fight for Rangel and Paterson to the last because of the color of their skin), exposure and the need to clean out what is so obviously a filthy pigsty in Albany and Washington, might do half the job of cleaning up New York. The other half will have to be done by responsible citizens who are motivated to kick these assholes to the curb. The GOP can't do it; but the Tea Party might.

I'm almost embarrassed to say "I'm from New York", but I'm holding a slight glimmer of hope that there is a critical mass of corruption and stupidity that has been reached that be transformed into a movement of holding our politicians responsible, and firing the worst of the lot.

No Carpetbaggers Need Apply...

Harold Ford drops out of NY Senate race.

Fabulous. We've already had enough of libtard Carpetbaggers in this state. New York is where libtards from all over the country eventually settle to work, and so we get everyone else's libs, and then we get blamed for being too liberal for the country's good. Just so you know, it isn't entirely our fault; keep your own liberals at home!

So, this November, we might be one libtard lighter: Kirsten Gillbrand might have to defend her job as Chuck Schumer's Ventriloquist's Dummy With Tits (CSVDWT) against a republican (assuming we can find one who can chew gum and walk at the same time someplace in New York) and if that is the case, she'll probably lose.

I say "probably" because the NY Republican party is a bunch of dunces. They couldn't organize a gang-bang in a prison shower. They find the most unattractive (but politically-well-connected) candidates to run for statewide and federal offices, and they get beaten about the head and face by democrats who are barely capable of counting without removing their shoes and socks (see: New York Congressional delegation). In other words, they get beaten by people just slightly smarter than bread mold.

And since the NY Repub Go-to-Guy -- perennial loser Rick Lazio -- is already in the Governor's race, the NY Repubs are left to find someone just as dull and just as beatable to run against Gillibrand, because that is their modus operandi. Does the name George Pataki ring any bells?

If it does, you'd better scream "HELL NO!".

There are two other possibilities; if she could be persuaded to get into the race, there is former Congresswoman Susan Molinari, who gave the keynote address at the Republican convention back in the days when that actually meant something. Molinari is from my hometown (Staten Island), comes from another NY Political Dynasty (that might be a strike against her -- we've had enough Political Dynasties, thank you), and she's smarter than Gillibrand is. Then again, lobotomized cocker spaniels are smarter than Gillbrand, but that's not to take away from Molinari; She is smart as a whip and realizes that we still have a Constitution, which puts her miles ahead of the Repub Party Apparatchiks.

The other possibility is Rudy Giuliani, America's Mayor. The problem with Rudy is that the national Republican Party would probably bust a blood vessel because of his stances on Gay Rights and Gun Control (it's why he never made it through the 2008 primaries, you know), but the Tea Parties and the non-panty-bunched republicans (the one's not tied directly to, or earning their living from the party) could easily put him over the top. We need to have Rudy somewhere in a position of responsibility in New York State, if only because he's proven to be a responsible person with actual abilities. Having just one person like that puts us head and shoulders above the other 49 states.

The problem is that the NY Republican party will probably not tap either. It has a bigger list of well-connected-but-even-bigger losers to promote. That's where it's true interests lie, because it is not so much A party as much as it is many-smaller parties, and they can never agree on anything or anyone, and this is the main reason why it's so ineffective. It's provincial and it's politics and infighting are, ultimately, local and not state-wide.

For once, the NY State Republican Party should do the right thing, and fuck their friends over. These elections in November are too important to the future of the country for the same stupidity to play out; that system coughed up Dede Scozzafava, after all.

Tap Susan or tap Rudy. You'll get the Tea Partiers on your side, and you'll be able to actually win something for a change. You'll finally succeed in doing something meaningful, NY-GOP.

Charlie Rangel: Busted...

Charlie Rangel was pronounced guilty...of something....but still got a pass from his friends on the House Ethics Committee (which never met a gross abuse of power by a democrat that it couldn't find a way to justify it). But, the damage is done: Charlie Rangel has finally been exposed for what he is: a tax cheat, a moocher, a liar, a criminal. The unfortunate part is that in the district Rangel represents, no one reads newspapers (I doubt many can read at all) and no one bails out on a Brother unless there's some money in it, so he is probably a safe re-election bet.

But, the Marginalization of Charlie Rangel has begun. Even his fellow dems are calling for his head as Chair of the Ways and Means Committee. The only person who will dump Charlie faster for personal gain than his constituents would definitely be Nancy Pelosi. You have to marvel at the democrats (small 'd' intentional) though: the offenses Charlie has committed are somehow severe enough to warrant punishment, the loss of his chairmanship, but not enough to have him tossed from office altogether. Amazing how that happens, isn't it? But, perhaps I'm not so finely versed in the art of politics (bullshit), and it's subtle nuances (vote-buying) as they are.

This is shaping up to be a good week for NY State, politically. Charlie is finally busted, then
Our Blind (in more ways than one) and Accidental Governor, David Paterson, is eschewing an election bid after being involved (allegedly) in the intimidation of a former girlfriend of one of his trusted aides so that she would not file for a restraining order against the lout. Unfortunately, the asshole won't do the right thing and quit. It's amazing that he's had the time to harass this woman considering that it's also alleged that he was screwing the hired help in broom closets, snorting coke every fifteen minutes, and sending the State Police out to do all sorts of errands, inane and slimy and of questionable legality.

Allegedly.

There's now a supposedly-fire-and-brimstone-small-government-republican who wants to jump into the race for governor now, which is something good; before your choice would have been limited to strictly Patterson (bad) and Andrew Cuomo (vomit-inducingly bad). Neither man could lead a three year old to the crapper, and both are so besotted by the filth of New York advocacy politics, that either one would have been an unmitigated disaster of Obama-like proportions. The other 49 states might get together, taken a vote and demanded that NY saw itself off the continent if either of these guys gets into the Governor's Mansion. Paterson is there solely by accident -- Andrew Cuomo used to play Matchbox cars in the foyer. Perhaps if this guy (The Republican, and sorry, but I can't be bothered to look up his name right now) can breathe without mechanical assistance and has 20/20 vision-with-corrective-lenses, he might actually win.

It's a sad commentary that in retrospect, it's apparent that David Paterson couldn't hold Elliot Spitzer's socks. You have to be really bad to evoke a backhanded compliment on Spitzer's behalf like that.

The other day during the Toyota Inquisit....errr..."Hearings", Representative Adolphus Towns, one of the dumbest members of Congress, showed himself to be a fully-bought-and-paid-for shill of the UAW and Government Motors. And he did it on national television, too.He's another one who's career might have been over, if only the people he supposedly represents were capable of tying their own shoes without a government program. But now his stupidity is on public record and will achieve YouTube immortality, at least.

Now, if we could only do something about the other embarrassments in this state, we might be cookin' with gas:

Kirsten Gillibrand: the Placeholder Senator need to be the Replaceable Senator, perhaps even the Disposable Senator. I would like very much to say something nice about Gillibrand, but I'm not certain "Chuck Schumer's Boot-licking Ventriloquist Dummy...with Tits" is quite nice enough. I would compare her to something less substantial, like a hole in the air, but if I did, she'd probably turn that into some campaign about the Ozone Layer (she might actually be that shallow), and then she'd have to team up with Van Jones again in a sort of 9/11-Truther-Mandingo-Kabuki Theatre, and that's an act no one around here wants to see ever again.

Chuck Schumer: I mean, what else could I say about Chuckie that I haven't said before? He reminds me of something I occasionally pick up on my shoe in the gutter, only you can usually scrape that off. Chuck Schumer is like a dose of herpes: he's omnipresent, you regret the entire sordid episode that brought it about, it itches like hell, and you wish that you could kill the bitch that gave it to you. I heard once that Chuck Schumer had an asshole transplant, but that the asshole soon rejected him. I'm lead to understand that Mrs. Schumer is the only living being with two assholes: her own, and the one she married. Chuck Schumer is like an asshole, in that he stinks, he's full of shit, and you really don't want to hear from it all that often.

But, maybe I'm being unfair to assholes? Chuck Schumer's only real talent is getting Chuck Schumer's face on television. No matter how trivial the issue, get Chuck on your side, and he'll get himself some airtime. He won't necessarily fix your problem, but he'll make sure he makes the rounds on Sunday mornings. When Chuck Schumer finally shuffles off this mortal coil, I suggest we hold a ticker-tape parade in honor of the tumor, disease, malady or drunk-driver that finally ended his miserable existence.

If we got rid of this bunch of morons as quickly as possible, the rest of the morons who govern at the federal and state level here might actually be on notice, and we could really clean the nest of State Representatives that choke their girlfriends and use their power to avoid prosecution, or who collect money under the auspices of a charity and then steal it, treat their personal staff like slaves, even going as far as to physically assault them, the both-sides-of-the-fence lawyers who write laws without a thought given to conflicts of interest, the race-baiters, the Welfare Queen Crusaders, the Fake-Reverends-with-an-axe-to-grind, the $35,000-a-year State Legislator who somehow owns a million-dollar townhouse, the Networkers, the Insiders, The Fix-It-Men.

Flush 'em all out, and start clean. I'm not saying that telling people what they already knew about Charlie Rangel (that he's a crooked bastard) is going to do it, but it might be a really good start.

Update: That "Fire-and-Brimstone" republican turns out to be none other than Rick Lazio, Designated Loser. I call him "designated loser" because Lazio is the guy the NY GOP always taps at the very last minute to get run over by a democratic opponent. It's happened to him twice already, with one of those losses to Hillary Clinton (when you can't beat an obviously-opportunistic, carpetbagging harridan in a crusty, black pantsuit, and saddled with baggage-- i.e. a nearly-impeached, disbarred, and confessed adlterer/perjurer in Bill Clinton -- then you must really suck). Do you mean to tell me that in the entire NY GOP apparatus, there is not a single individual who might stand for governor, and the only candidate they can manage is Rick Lazio, Professional Loser?

If that's the case, then we might as well swear Andrew Cuomo in tonight. Maybe we can get lucky and some Tea Party asshole who isn't either a 9/11 Troofer or a God, Guns and Gays Bible Thumper could emerge as a decent alternative.

Another One Bites the Dust...

And this Kennedy didn't even need to get shot first, although rumor has it that his brand of "shooting" has little to do with guns, if you get my drift...

By my count, that's about 10 major democrats (from both houses) who have decided to either resign, retire, or who have basically decided to not run for re-election in the last few months, not including two who simply dropped dead. Those were Edward Kennedy (who defied medical impossibility like the Lyin' of the Senate that he was, and grew a brain tumor in what appeared to be an empty skull) and John Murtha, who died from complications during a routine gallbladder operation that was (allegedly) botched so badly that you'd almost think it was paid for by the government...Oh, wait, Congresscritters have a great healthcare plan paid for by the taxpayer, don't they?

Good thing there's no tort reform in all that Health Care talk, and Abscam Johnny's family will be able to sue like a motherfucker. Boy, talk about a cheap way to avoid an ethics probe!

Still, there's a few more I'd like to show the door. I don't see why Harry, Nancy, Blanche Lincoln, Charlie Rangel, Barney Fwank, Mary Landrieu, Ben Nelson, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Anthony Weiner, Patrick Leahy, Bernie Sanders, John Kerry, Kirsten Gillibrand, Chucky Schumer, Maurice Hinchey should be so shy about beating a hasty retreat before they're embarassed anymore in public ....They should all get out now and beat the traffic in November.

Last week, The President vowed that he would "fight" and reassured his disciples that "I don't quit", but it appears as if his fellow travelers can't wait to throw in the towel themselves. In numbers that begin to stagger the mind. Why, even Arlen Specter, the newly-minted democrat was thinking of changing parties again, I hear -- but the American Asshole Sniffer Party told him to pike off --- they would rather have Khalid Sheik Mohammed on thier ticket.

At this rate, it's not difficult to begin to imagine somewhere near half of the democratic Congressional incumbancy could possibly take a powder before the mid-terms, if things continue this way. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if a near-equal number of republican incumbents followed them. At least then the Hallowed Halls of Congress might begin to smell somewhat cleaner just before that crisp, autumnal breeze blows through them and banishes the awful odor of Imperious Doofus right out of the drapery with a new generation of (we can hope!) principled politicians.

Obviously-Stupid People Don't Belong in Public Office...

I must admit that I had no idea just who Kirsten Gillibrand was before she moved in to take Hitlery's Senate Seat. I can now see why I had no idea who she was: she's obviously stupid. Stupid people usually don't make the news, or even appear on the public's radar screen unless they manage to kill themselves while inflating their pool toys with the exhaust from the family Suburban whilst inside a locked garage, or they walk into the local emergency room with half a dozen Coke bottles stuck in their ass, indignantly insisting through the hails of derisive hospital-staff laughter that "I have no idea how they got there..."

You know, unless they're Darwin Award candidates, most people ignore stupid people, and they are allowed to live quiet, unassuming lives wallowing in their own ignorance and filth.

Unless they're stupid people who take up politics as a career, believing (and often proving!) that there's people out there even dumber than they are! In a perfect world, Kirsten Gillibrand would be anonymous, except to the people who loved her. But, even the most terminally doltish can have an ego sometimes, and so she entered politics, and proved so stunningly adept at stupidity that her party tapped her for a position which fairly screams for her particular brand of talent (that is, shut up and vote as we tell you to): U.S. Senator.

Now, Gillibrand is desperate to keep a job she really had no right to, that she didn't have to work for, and for which she was always intended to be little more than a mere placeholder. She shouldn't be: her only competition to date is another carpetbagger, Harold Ford, and I can say that New Yorkers -- after Hitlery's magnificent reign and Bobby Kennedy's rest stop in the Senate before he became the Second Kennedy with a Hole in His Head That Wasn't There At Birth -- have probably had quite enough of carpetbaggers, thank you. However, Gillibrand is probably under the mistaken impression that in order to keep this job that she didn't earn, that she'll have to "out-Left" Ford in a primary. That's Harold Ford, who has no connection to New York, no history here, and who probably couldn't win in this state if he handed out five dollar bills and handjobs at the voting booth (unless he manages to make the race about Race, in which case, all bets are off ). The only way to out-Left a Leftie in New York is to attach yourself to the Loopy Left, a collection of aging hippies, head cases, drug-legalizers and college-age Goths who refuse to ever grow up and shed the self-loathing that invades everything they do. There's electoral gold in them thar' hills, you know. She's now stumping with Van Jones, former Obama Green Energy Czar, Unrepentant Communist and 911 Troother, burnishing her far-left street cred, and on the plus side; Van Jones is yet another black man victimized by 'the system' and the "media" (especially by Glenn Beck). That's pure red meat -- goddamned Fillet Mignon! -- for the Recipient Classes of New York State.

They'll rally around a brother who only repeats what most of them stupidly believe, anyway. Wasn't no 19 Arabs who knocked down the Towers; only white people, like Joos and George Bush, could or would do something like that. But, I digress...

The New York Republican Party is a dysfunctional, muddle-headed bunch of idiots who couldn't organize a feeding frenzy in a shark tank, but one wonders if this race just isn't easy enough -- even for them! -- to swipe handily. Your democratic choices here will either be a really dopey second-stringer chosen for her ability to be led by the nose by Chucky Schumer (Gillibrand), or two men who have no record of accomplishments of their own, but who can point to the legacies of their fathers (Harold Ford, Jr, or Andrew Cuomo, if he decides not to run for Governor). Against this, the Republican party could probably run a three-legged German Shepherd with a speech impediment, and maybe win handily. But fear not; the NY Republican party will make every effort to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and probably recycle perennial loser Rick Lazio.

For those of you who have forgotten, Lazio is the guy the NY Repubs always tap (doesn't he have a real job?) when their primary candidate has to unexpectedly drop out of a race, and they need to stand someone to absorb the agony of defeat. Lazio stepped in for Rudy Giuliani when he dropped out of his Senate race -- and handed Hillary Clinton a victory by pulling an Al Gore and invading her personal space during a televised debate -- and I think (I'll have to check), he's lost at least two other races where he almost-literally parachutes in at the proverbial last minute. Rick Lazio should be sent to Afghanistan to run for the Taliban seat in the Hamid Karzai government, where his flair for spectacular loses might actually be of use to both his party and country.

As for Kirsten Gillibrand, anyone who would be seen with van Jones espusing 9/11 conspiracy theories in the very city most devastated by those attacks proves just how stupid she really is. We have enough morons in the Senate as it is. She should probably quit now.

And then maybe New Yorkers might find someone capable of breathing without mechanical assistance to run for public office in this state...of either party?