Wednesday, June 16, 2010

American Arrested in Pakistan...Was "Hunting" Bin Laden...

You have to give the guy full credit for at least going to where you might expect Bin Laden to be. George Bush promised to get Bin Laden, so did John McCain, and apparently, this attempt is the closest anyone can claim to having actually tried.

Gary Faulkner is the man's name, and according to his relatives, he's not crazy...just really, really patriotic.

At least someone is looking for Bin Laden --it just happens to be a whackjob douchebag, ex-con, Coloradan martial arts fag, Chuck Norris-wannabe dialysis patient, armed with a pistol, a samurai sword, his trusty Bible and Night-vision goggles, who looks like he's the poster child for both medical marijuana and birth control, who does it? He (Faulkner) claims to have gotten within 100 feet of a cave he believes UBL (Usama Bin Laden)has been living in. Not only that, it's the latest in a string of trips he's made to Pakistan to engage in "reconnaissance". Do sane people do shit like this?

The Pentagon and CIA have to be embarrassed. Then again, perhaps this is our version of the Underwear Bomber: the most unlikely loser is sent out on a hopeless mission in which it is hoped (and planned) that he'll fuck up, just to cause the"Other Side" to do something, or to overreact in some way. I mean, after all, where does this dude get the money to keep travelling to Pakistan for his "covert mission", anyways? So covert that he can even tell the Pakistani authorities he's entered the country to hunt Bin Laden...and they don't even take him seriously because, well...would you? It's the perfect plan! Someone get Oliver Stone on the phone!

Personally, I would have hoped he had succeeded, assuming UBL is still alive. I'm guessing UBL is either buried under tons of rubble, courtesy of Uncle Sam, or the Taliban took him out because he fucked up their Islamic Stone-Age Paradise. Now Mr. Faulkner can probably enjoy all the hospitality to be derived from a Pakistani jail, where he'll be frequently visited by rabid Islamonazi interrogators convinced he simply must be a CIA plant.

I wish him luck, the poor bastard.

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