Lots of tree-hugging hippies out there like to write nasty -- and they'd like to think anonymous, but not really George P. in Terre Haute, or Alyssa V. in Schenectedy -- e-mails, and a few with more braincells than usual like trying -- and failing -- to hack other people's computers and e-mail accounts, too. You know who you are, and if you don't knock it off, I'm going to make a special effort to pay you a visit and MAKE YOU STOP...permanently. I can promise you that ObamaCare won't support you in a vegetative state for very long, so please, don't make me have to beat you.
I can handle nasty. Doesn't bother me at all. I just can't handle STUPID. Drives me insane.
This post brought some blowback (and really, people, can't you just use the reply function to make your stupid case? Oh, right; that has a 4,000 character limit, and unfortunately, you can't spout crap in under 5,000), most of it about the destructive effect of all that extra carbon dioxide that will kill us all.
Apparently, you don't need to know the basics of biology in order to be an environMENTAList. Nor do you need critical thinking skills. All that is required of you is that you simply believe, in much the same way the Muslim or the Catholic establishment doesn't really give a shit about what you think; they only care that you believe, and obey...and send money. This willing suspension of disbelief, to disregard evidence, logic, objective truth, or counter-argument is called "Faith". There's no thinking required. It's the major reason why so many sad-sacks join storefront churches, or strap explosives to themselves in the name of God; Faith is far easier than Truth or Reason, and certainly cheaper than a psychiatrist.
If you're a committed environut, you have to only believe four things (mostly because you're incapable of remembering more than four things) , not taking into consideration evidence to the contrary, nor accepting any argument or evidence whatsoever that would seem to knock the intellectual underpinnings out from beneath your beliefs. These four things are:
1. Carbon dioxide is a deadly poison.
2. Carbon dioxide levels are too high, and that Man has the ability to to do all of the following;
a. Calculate precisely how much CO2 there is in the atmosphere,
b. Calculate precisely how much CO2 is "just right" for the continuation of Life as We Know it, at optimum efficiency,
c. determine that if CO2 levels are too high, that it MUST be the result of Mankind doing things (i.e. going through the processes of what we like to call "living").
d. Discern just how elevated CO2 levels will affect the climate of the planet (as if there were only one world-wide climate!), with disastrous results, especially for people who are, in the best of times, slowly starving to death because they can't grow food, fucking themselves into starvation, killing each other in the name of religion, killing each other because they have nothing better to do, or dying of diseases that could be easily prevented if only they'd use soap, or stop fucking their livestock.
3. That Science is providing all the answers to the mysteries of a number of complex systems that we barely understand, and have barely begun to study in earnest.
4. That sans evidence that Man is actually doing catastrophic harm, it is your duty to insist that He is, and to make every effort to arrest progress that it's in your power to do. Usually, this means whine, bitch and moan until you get your way, like a four-year old.
Or write nasty, you-think-you're-anonymous e-mails. So, boys and girls, let me tell you about the Great Chain of Life, in eight (8) Easy Steps. Pay attention, because you just might learn something that might cause you to give up that lifestyle of pretentious affectation you're engaged in now.
1. There are untold trillions of a certain kind of organism on this planet which we call "Plants" and "Plant-like Organisms".
2. These Plant and Plant-like Organisms like to eat, and in fact, must do so to survive, just like you do, only without Che Guevara T-shits, American Idol, patchouli oil, marijuana, and bottled water.
3. Because they don't have access to Tofu, Doritos and Starbucks, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms have developed a wonderful system of making their own food, which we call Photosynthesis, in which they combine CARBON DIOXIDE with water, sunlight, and trace elements to produce complex carbohydrates (you know, like you get in your tastes-like-shit-but-is-supposedly-healthy-as-all-hell PowerBar?) and sugars. The Plants and Plant-like Creatures eat these sugars, and therefore, grow and thrive.
4. As a result of Photosynthesis, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms basically "shit" OXYGEN, a gas which is a requirement for life for water buffalo, mountain gorillas, polar bears, spotted owls, parrot fish, and dumbass Watermelons (Green on the outside, Red on the inside) who write stupid e-mails telling me I should die because I happen to disagree with them...an' stuff.
5. It is a known fact that when Plants and Plant-like Organisms have access to more CO2, they tend to grow faster and bigger, much like your average person if fed a steady diet of Chips Ahoy's, Ruffles, Pork chops, whipped-cream-out-of-the-can, ice cream and Pepsi would. More plants means more oxygen, and more food for cute little grazing animals like Bambi and Dumbo.
6. If one takes CO2 out of the atmosphere, then one deprives the Plants and Plant-like Organisms of their main source of food, thus killing them. And Bambi and Dumbo, too.
7. If one kills the Plants and Plant-like Organisms, one reduces the amount of Oxygen in the air, it means that those of us with the ability to find our own asses with both hands and a flashlight will have to kill and eat nosepicking environMENTALists in order to survive in an Oxygen-and-food-depleted environment.
8. Once the herd has been culled of the dumbass envirowhackos, we survivors will go back to putting CO2 back into the atmosphere, so that the Plants and Plant-like Organisms can eat and grow again, so that we can breathe, and so that the chickens, cattle, pigs, and fish -- assuming any of them survived both the loss of plants (their fucking food), and Oxygen -- will return, so that we may eat them instead of environMENTALISTs who aren't so tasty, are far from being Brain Food, and have less nutritional value than CheezWhiz.
So, you see, CO2 is not so much a poison as it is a RESOURCE NECESSARY FOR THE CONTINUATION OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET, YOU DUMB-AS-DOGSHIT ASSHOLE!
Also, I get a kick out of people who:
1. Tell me I should save the world by killing myself, but who apparently won't follow their own advice. Avoiding the "looming environmental disaster headed our way" doesn't fill them with enough fear and despondency to take their own lives. No, no, no; it's all of us regular people who should sacrifice ourselves on the Greenie Meanies' behalf, the selfish cocksuckers. Ever notice how those of us who don't agree with them are "selfish" but those that who would demand your death for their own personal comfort and salvation mysteriously aren't?
2. Lecture me about the evils of industrialization, whilst using a computer made from petroleum products and mined metals, transmitting across the ether on cables made of the same, the whole endeavor powered by coal, oil or natural gas burning power plants, or nuclear plants which leave radioactive waste, the very same things these douchebags say is destroying the atmosphere, and without which, modern life would be impossible.
3. Can use the terms "Massive Global Warming Catastrophe" and "Unprecedented Global Ice Age" in the same sentence and not notice the inherent contradictions, massive stupidity, or delicious irony, contained within?
4. If Darwin (your other Icon) was right, then whatever survives the no-plants-no-oxygen conditions of a global catastrophe will evolve so that they can. It's called Adaptation. They just probably won't be going to college and majoring in Keg Party, Gender Studies and Repeating the Stupid Shit My Professor Says.
If you can process all of this, Children, then maybe you'll begin to discover why it's so difficult to take you seriously.
Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Two Birds, One Stone...For Mother Earth...
I had an idea yesterday. That by itself would be news, but this one was so exquisitely clever, that I had to take the time to fully think-through the implications before committing it to....errm...electronic paper.
Two of the biggest problems in modern America are the runaway Welfare State, and a heaving mass of over-emotional, regressively-adolescent, tushy-clenched, panty-bunched, thumbsuckers who clamor for the American People and Government to live up to their "responsibilities" to help save Gaia. Now,I generally don't go in for this environMENTAL nonsense, because the people who espouse it are typically dumber and thicker than a sack of dog shit passed through a constipated daschund, but I figured that if I could find a way to make some of them just a little bit happier, they wouldn't carry on like a bunch of menstrual wolverines, and my ears would get a rest.
The Earth-firsters are all hot to limit the amount of Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere. They are also mightily upset with mankind's mass-consumption habits, and the effects and demands these make upon Nature. The Greenie Meanies also have a wild hair up their collective asses about a concept they call "sustainability" -- a theory which totally contradicts Human Nature, but if I have this right, postulates that Man can live a "balanced" life in which he does not take from Nature more than he needs to survive (to more extreme advocates, this means the very barest of necessities, soap not being on this list of vitals for many, unfortunately), while doing his level best to ensure that Nature is tended so as to ensure "renewability" (i.e. eat an apple, plant an apple tree).
The Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside) are also pretty ticked off at governments which subsidize/promote certain industries which are known to be harmful to the environment; Big Oil, Detroit, the Mining Industry, Big Agriculture, and Big Pharma, and either demand that governments regulate these industries right out of existence, or tax the shit out of them to fund "Green Initiatives", which usually concern Community Gardens, lots of Macrame and Pot, and at least one Cherokee Drum Circle.
But, usually going Green in any endeavor is typically so expensive (because Green efforts are usually inefficient and based upon the primacy of physical labor over the messy by-products of mechanization), that governments that aren't actually Socialist (like Spain), and which aren't part-and-parcel of the environMENTAList movement (a plan for world Socialism without the need for violent revolution) themselves, typically split the difference; practicing what appears to be laissez-faire capitalism with a strong streak of authoritarian taxation and regulation running through it. The best of both worlds: governments can collect taxes on productive enterprises, and still burnish their environMENTAL street cred by claiming to have "tough" regulations on The X Industry, because a) capitalism still works better than Socialism any day of the week, and b) it's cheaper to pay lip service to Watermelons than to actually Go Green.
So, how to reconcile all these seemingly-contradictory requirements in a smooth-running program that both saves the American taxpayer absolute tons of cash, while doing our part to preserve the Natural world? Easy.
I call it "Welfare Reform for Mother Earth". How can anyone in his right mind object to something that incorporates both the ultra-conservative and ultra-libtard in the same phrase?
Here's how it works:
There are tens of millions of people in the United States right now who have never worked a day in their lives, and who have never picked up anything heavier than their Food Stamp booklet, or Rent Subsidy check, -- except perhaps a crackpipe, or an illegal Glock with the serial numbers filed off. These people do no productive work at all; in fact, they are paid not to. This makes them both a net negative to both the taxpayer, and The Planet. It's expensive to give money to people who don't even grow their own food, or weave baskets, and just as expensive to support the massive army of State and Federal Employees who exist solely to provide these goldbricks with "benefits".That's even before we consider the economic costs of increased police protection, failings schools, substance abuse programs, AIDS, jails, public housing, chronic unemployment, and so forth.
And if that weren't bad enough, they're all breathing, farting and belching, releasing deadly Carbon Dioxide, Methane and other Greenhouse Gasses into the atmosphere, and not buying any carbon credits to offset any of it. Some of the products "The Poor" spend their apportioned money upon do come from renewable sources (Marijuana plants, Opium poppies, Coca leaf, the various grains that make up Malt Liquor), they are also as likely to spend as much, or more, of that cash in imitation of the crass consumerism of their economic betters -- cell phones, cable television, KFC, Ripple, hollowpoint bullets, Grillz, and oversized-gold-plated rims -- not to mention that many of these people fall into the category of "Morbidly Obese", which means that they are probably ingesting more calories in one day than an African or Asian peasant eats in a month, and have children at Malthusian levels that one day will bring us all to the brink of starvation.
So,I suggest that in order to save the world, Welfare should be made Illegal everywhere in America, and these payments cease immediately. That way, we could stop giving money away to social reprobates, and fire entire regiments of government employees who make more and do even less than those they "serve". Why, we'll save so much money that we can even afford to be a bit generous, and give some of that new-found cash to the EnvironMENTALists themselves, so that they can fund all sorts of touchy-feely-makes-ya-feel-good-but-is-ultimately-useless programs to "raise awareness", and advocate on behalf of special light bulbs, promote vegetarianism, and maybe even pay for their beloved Community Gardens, or even a windmill or two someplace.
"But Matt", you may ask, "what about all those people you now threw off the Welfare rolls and the Government payroll; what are they supposed to?" I thought that one through!
Unfortunately, after a while, some of them are going to die. This is unavoidable, but we can console ourselves that -- by their deaths -- they are no longer polluting either the Planet, nor Civil Society. Some will actually decide right then and there to turn their lives around, and give up the Welfare Gangsta lifestyle and go legit. Of course, most of those will probably find jobs at the lowest end of the economic scale,having no skills or education, but that's not a problem, either; the "Sustainable" lifestyle more or less entails making do with the barest necessities as your duty to Mother Gaia. Don't think of yourself as "working poor"; think of yourself more as "Good Global Citizen".
Of course those who don't have the courtesy to die, or who decide not to become Good Global Citizens will still be around -- if only because they are able to extort or steal enough to keep themselves alive -- and unrepentant, if not down-right dangerous. The solution to this is one which any Green would immediately recognize as the Holy Grail, as it were, of the EnvironMENTAL movement.
We will set up special National Parks given completely over to rampant, untended Nature in all it's splendor and glory. As we arrest and otherwise detain those who've managed to stay in their state of ill favor, they will be tagged with microchips (so that we can track them and shoot them if they try to escape, with lead-free bullets, of course -- lead poisons streams and fish! ). They will be released into these parks with nothing but their own wits, where they will have to re-learn all the survival skills our ancient ancestors once possessed, but which we have forgotten. Once released into the Wild, they can be studied in great detail by EnvironMENTALists who will one day want to emulate these lucky few, and return to Nature themselves, and who will need to learn all they can from the inmates successes and failures in experimenting with strange foliage as toilet paper, or in discovering which tree beetles, toads, and small lizards are safe to eat.
A true Garden of Eden, in the best Noble Savage tradition. I wonder what Al Gore would think of my ideas? He got a Nobel Prize, you know?
If only....
Two of the biggest problems in modern America are the runaway Welfare State, and a heaving mass of over-emotional, regressively-adolescent, tushy-clenched, panty-bunched, thumbsuckers who clamor for the American People and Government to live up to their "responsibilities" to help save Gaia. Now,I generally don't go in for this environMENTAL nonsense, because the people who espouse it are typically dumber and thicker than a sack of dog shit passed through a constipated daschund, but I figured that if I could find a way to make some of them just a little bit happier, they wouldn't carry on like a bunch of menstrual wolverines, and my ears would get a rest.
The Earth-firsters are all hot to limit the amount of Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere. They are also mightily upset with mankind's mass-consumption habits, and the effects and demands these make upon Nature. The Greenie Meanies also have a wild hair up their collective asses about a concept they call "sustainability" -- a theory which totally contradicts Human Nature, but if I have this right, postulates that Man can live a "balanced" life in which he does not take from Nature more than he needs to survive (to more extreme advocates, this means the very barest of necessities, soap not being on this list of vitals for many, unfortunately), while doing his level best to ensure that Nature is tended so as to ensure "renewability" (i.e. eat an apple, plant an apple tree).
The Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside) are also pretty ticked off at governments which subsidize/promote certain industries which are known to be harmful to the environment; Big Oil, Detroit, the Mining Industry, Big Agriculture, and Big Pharma, and either demand that governments regulate these industries right out of existence, or tax the shit out of them to fund "Green Initiatives", which usually concern Community Gardens, lots of Macrame and Pot, and at least one Cherokee Drum Circle.
But, usually going Green in any endeavor is typically so expensive (because Green efforts are usually inefficient and based upon the primacy of physical labor over the messy by-products of mechanization), that governments that aren't actually Socialist (like Spain), and which aren't part-and-parcel of the environMENTAList movement (a plan for world Socialism without the need for violent revolution) themselves, typically split the difference; practicing what appears to be laissez-faire capitalism with a strong streak of authoritarian taxation and regulation running through it. The best of both worlds: governments can collect taxes on productive enterprises, and still burnish their environMENTAL street cred by claiming to have "tough" regulations on The X Industry, because a) capitalism still works better than Socialism any day of the week, and b) it's cheaper to pay lip service to Watermelons than to actually Go Green.
So, how to reconcile all these seemingly-contradictory requirements in a smooth-running program that both saves the American taxpayer absolute tons of cash, while doing our part to preserve the Natural world? Easy.
I call it "Welfare Reform for Mother Earth". How can anyone in his right mind object to something that incorporates both the ultra-conservative and ultra-libtard in the same phrase?
Here's how it works:
There are tens of millions of people in the United States right now who have never worked a day in their lives, and who have never picked up anything heavier than their Food Stamp booklet, or Rent Subsidy check, -- except perhaps a crackpipe, or an illegal Glock with the serial numbers filed off. These people do no productive work at all; in fact, they are paid not to. This makes them both a net negative to both the taxpayer, and The Planet. It's expensive to give money to people who don't even grow their own food, or weave baskets, and just as expensive to support the massive army of State and Federal Employees who exist solely to provide these goldbricks with "benefits".That's even before we consider the economic costs of increased police protection, failings schools, substance abuse programs, AIDS, jails, public housing, chronic unemployment, and so forth.
And if that weren't bad enough, they're all breathing, farting and belching, releasing deadly Carbon Dioxide, Methane and other Greenhouse Gasses into the atmosphere, and not buying any carbon credits to offset any of it. Some of the products "The Poor" spend their apportioned money upon do come from renewable sources (Marijuana plants, Opium poppies, Coca leaf, the various grains that make up Malt Liquor), they are also as likely to spend as much, or more, of that cash in imitation of the crass consumerism of their economic betters -- cell phones, cable television, KFC, Ripple, hollowpoint bullets, Grillz, and oversized-gold-plated rims -- not to mention that many of these people fall into the category of "Morbidly Obese", which means that they are probably ingesting more calories in one day than an African or Asian peasant eats in a month, and have children at Malthusian levels that one day will bring us all to the brink of starvation.
So,I suggest that in order to save the world, Welfare should be made Illegal everywhere in America, and these payments cease immediately. That way, we could stop giving money away to social reprobates, and fire entire regiments of government employees who make more and do even less than those they "serve". Why, we'll save so much money that we can even afford to be a bit generous, and give some of that new-found cash to the EnvironMENTALists themselves, so that they can fund all sorts of touchy-feely-makes-ya-feel-good-but-is-ultimately-useless programs to "raise awareness", and advocate on behalf of special light bulbs, promote vegetarianism, and maybe even pay for their beloved Community Gardens, or even a windmill or two someplace.
"But Matt", you may ask, "what about all those people you now threw off the Welfare rolls and the Government payroll; what are they supposed to?" I thought that one through!
Unfortunately, after a while, some of them are going to die. This is unavoidable, but we can console ourselves that -- by their deaths -- they are no longer polluting either the Planet, nor Civil Society. Some will actually decide right then and there to turn their lives around, and give up the Welfare Gangsta lifestyle and go legit. Of course, most of those will probably find jobs at the lowest end of the economic scale,having no skills or education, but that's not a problem, either; the "Sustainable" lifestyle more or less entails making do with the barest necessities as your duty to Mother Gaia. Don't think of yourself as "working poor"; think of yourself more as "Good Global Citizen".
Of course those who don't have the courtesy to die, or who decide not to become Good Global Citizens will still be around -- if only because they are able to extort or steal enough to keep themselves alive -- and unrepentant, if not down-right dangerous. The solution to this is one which any Green would immediately recognize as the Holy Grail, as it were, of the EnvironMENTAL movement.
We will set up special National Parks given completely over to rampant, untended Nature in all it's splendor and glory. As we arrest and otherwise detain those who've managed to stay in their state of ill favor, they will be tagged with microchips (so that we can track them and shoot them if they try to escape, with lead-free bullets, of course -- lead poisons streams and fish! ). They will be released into these parks with nothing but their own wits, where they will have to re-learn all the survival skills our ancient ancestors once possessed, but which we have forgotten. Once released into the Wild, they can be studied in great detail by EnvironMENTALists who will one day want to emulate these lucky few, and return to Nature themselves, and who will need to learn all they can from the inmates successes and failures in experimenting with strange foliage as toilet paper, or in discovering which tree beetles, toads, and small lizards are safe to eat.
A true Garden of Eden, in the best Noble Savage tradition. I wonder what Al Gore would think of my ideas? He got a Nobel Prize, you know?
If only....
Monday, June 28, 2010
"Why Are You Doing This?"
That was the question asked by Allison Blais, a 24-year-old "Journalism Student". You see, Ms. Blais, and a number of other people, had just been pepper-sprayed by the
Toronto Police Department. Why? Because thousands of young Canadians made the hazardous voyage into downtown Toronto. (it is hazardous...I've been there) to make complete asses of themselves in order to put themselves in a position from whence to get pepper-sprayed. It's the very least the police department can do after their officers have been attacked, their cruisers set ablaze, and thousands of hemp-heads and faux-Anarchists are roaming the streets burning, looting and vandalizing everything in sight in the name of "World Peace", and stupid notions of fundamental justice.
And Ms. Blais is one of the exceedingly lucky ones, in the sense that the Toronto Police Department (or is it Ontario Provincial Police? I always forget) pretty much took the day off to let the protesters do their thing. Why, I'll bet that 99% of those protesters weren't pepper-sprayed at all. You should be proud, Ms. Blais, that the Police found you objectionable enough, what with all the rioting going on, to take the time from their overtime-pay coffee break to make the effort to do their jobs and squirt you right in the fucking kisser, Missy. Why, you were either a very easy target (I gather you were seated during your personal protest?) meaning that you made it easy, or you just really pissed them off.
On the bright side, you could just be happy that you'll now actually have a story to write for your "Journalism" class.
Everytime there's a G20 meeting, or some other political get-together where the World's Elite gather to figure out how to fuck up the planet even more, you will find protesters. Most of them are well-meaning people who actually believe that if 20,000 like-minded people get together with really spiffy signs, and clever four-words-or-less slogans (it's best if it all rhymes, they say), that the Chinese or Russian delegations might actually listen to anything you have to say. People like Barack Obama or Angela Merkel pretend to listen to you, because the Western style of politics demands that important personages at least appear to be "Men of the People", even if they really have no actual connection with the Huddled Masses, and barely think of them of actual human beings rather than as voting blocs, a source of tax money, or photo-ops.
I can promise you that even if you brought 100,000 people with signs, the Chinese will still bind women's feet, and stifle any nascent political dissent in their country with tanks and Secret police. I can almost guarantee that genocide will continue in Sudan or Rwanda, because the people there are fucking savages who can't read your signs, and who don't have televisions with which to actually see your protest, and discern your good intentions.
As far as "getting a message through to X", a protest march is all-well-and-fine, even if typically futile. It's your right, and I don't object to people trying to get their message out. However, it's usually the legions of douchebags who glom onto the well-meaning protesters' protest which often throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing. These New Age Anarchists, the Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside), the new breed of Anti-Semites, the Older-and-Surgically-Preserved Breed of Radical Feminists, The Militant Queers, the Tinfoil Hats, and the Plain Stupid, join in these protests for a variety of reasons that usually don't have anything to do with the doings of the actual "Summit". They just show up for the Media Attention. There may have been a few tens of thousands in the streets, but most of them were probably of the "Civil Rights for Three-legged Blind Gerbils" type who more-or-less belong to entirely fringe-of-the-fringe-within-a-fringe "movements" which deal with an extremely narrow -- and often ridiculous -- issue. Those are the ones who show up on the odd chance that their sign might get 5 seconds of airtime on the nightly news, because almost any large gathering of people draws cameras, and they need to find or give moral support to the other seven people in Canada who believe in The Cause...whatever it may happen to be.
It's the smattering of assholes in there who showed up specifically to start trouble that are the problem. And those are the ones who most likely got Ms.Blais pepper-sprayed, assuming she just happened to find that grassy median a convenient place to take sit-down after a heavy afternoon's shopping, and had nothing to do with the protest at all.
Most "Anarchists" are really middle-class kids. Very well-off-upper-middle-class kids, who are a) stupid, and b) bored. Mostly they're college students who live in a world of abstracts idly tossed about by aging hippies who have even less experience of reality. Most have probably never done an honest day's work in their lives -- because Mom and Dad have provided everything -- who are drawn to the "romance" of play-acting as the Disaffected Political Streetfighter. They rail against the excesses of Capitalism (despite the fact that it's what allows them to live very comfortably; most would probably die of starvation within 15 minutes, if left to their own devices and lack of real survival skills, or ability to get e-mail), screaming their heads off about the plight of the "poor" in the "Third World". They do this dressed in their "Radical Chic" uniform of black Urban Guerillaware -- complete with the de rigeur Che Guevara t-shirt and red bandanna -- that costs a shitload of real money (after all, it's high fashion for a select clientele), probably produced in a sweatshop by some 11 year-old Nicaraguan making 3 cents a week. If she's lucky.
They rail against the "greed" of the "Evil Corporation", and yet, they take full advantage of the Evil Corporation's products; They drive or take public transport to the protest. They've organized themselves on Facebook, they use cell phones to communicate with one another and take pictures of one another like the riot was some once-in-a-lifetime event that needs to be recorded for posterity. Or, they might use Twitter to spread disinformation during the riot to make the Police look bad. They're certainly glad for the hospitals they'll need after the cops crack their skulls. Some even sport gas masks -- brought by the Gas Mask fairy, no doubt. They'll all gather at the local Starbucks, or McDonald's, three hours before their planned attack for an Egg McMuffin and a couple of double-caramel mocchiatas -- because breakfast IS The Most Important Meal of the Day. Don't worry; they'll be back to throw chunks of concrete through the store windows a few hours later.
When they're arrested, I'll bet at least half of those...ahem...tough, committed Soldiers of the People cry like bitches, and the other half huddle together in the corner of the common cell for fear of being gang raped by the "downtrodden" people they took to the streets on behalf of. No worries, though: Mom and Dad will come through with the bail money. They always do, because leaving Junior in jail overnight might damage his self-esteem.
I've had experience with three protests in my life, and when I say that, I mean a protest in which some aspect of my life was changed;
The first was sometime back in the early-90's when my then-girlfriend went to a NARAL march in Washington, D.C. I picked her up at the bus station after she had returned to Manhattan. She was exceedingly proud of herself for having attended the march and having stood up for Women's Rights. She was so exuberant that she wouldn't shut the fuck up about it, and I got tired of saying nothing but "well good for you", and not getting a word in edgewise, for near on 20 minutes. Her attempts to get me to validate her good feelings were painfully annoying; (if the conversation had been written down, she would have been finishing every paragraph with "Don't you think I've done a great thing?".With each new pronouncement of pride, my ears got just a teensy bit wearier. I asked her if she wouldn't mind talking about something else.
Needless to say, that relationship did not last much longer, for I had killed her Self-Esteem buzz.
The Second Experience was with an Earth Day celebration, with another ex-girlfriend. I didn't want to go, but I did want to get laid, so I got with The Program. The Program involved travelling to Central Park with her Hippie Girlfriend, and the Hippie Girlfriend's Pothead-25-years-older-than-she Boyfriend. So, the four of us hopped into Pothead's car for the half-mile voyage to Central Park -- a 1980's model Chevy Suburban that trailed enough oil smoke behind it for a battalion of Marines to maneuver behind, and adorned with this little gem of Eco-wisdom; A "Split Wood - Not Atoms" bumper sticker. Once we arrived at the Earth Day "Celebration" Hippie Girl and Cradle-Robbing-Pothead-Douchebag began their "work"...distributing the 5,000 printed fliers their "Green Workshop" had prepared to inform the citizens of Sodom-on-the-Hudson about the evil people destroying the Rain Forests so that the selfish bastards might have someplace to grow food.
I think all 5,000 of those fliers wound up on the ground in the Sheep Meadow and the Ramble. And that relationship, alas, also did not last much longer. Note to all my readers; if you date an Ecochick, don't buy her Coach leather when her birthday arrives a week later, because it means you learned nothing at the rally -- and it only makes it worse if you say "who really gives a fuck about Earth Day, anyway?"
The final encounter was a "Legalize Pot" rally on Boston Common. I wasn't there of my own accord -- I just happened to have accidentally found the damned thing while I was sightseeing. If there is anything more stunning than the sight of the Boston P.D. standing idly by while 5 or 6-thousand lit up in a futile group attempt to Give the Entire City a Contact High (their stated goal, I gathered, an amazing amount of ambition shown by slackers, I must say), it was watching a goodly number of them lay down, or simply pass out, when they themselves got too stoned to continue standing within the massive cloud of smoke generated during the attempt. Once they were conveniently horizontal, the cops just scooped them up at their leisure.
What does any of this have to do with the Toronto Riot?
I've come to the conclusion that many people who attend most "rallies" and "protests" are the dumbest forms of life yet discovered. Most are there for some reason other than the one stated, and usually are too stupid to see that what they protested against yesterday, they've invalidated by their actions today (rail against Big Oil, fill up your gas tank). Instead, I think many go for psychological reasons; the kid who vandalizes McDonald's isn't really concerned by the plight of the Third World as much as he is guilty for all the wonderful shit he's been given -- or he's just a fucking loser trying to strike back at the world that has marginalized him. The Woman who marches with NARAL doesn't go because she actually believes Feminist garbage -- she went because her circle of girlfriends would have ostracized her if she didn't. The Pothead doesn't really want pot legalized -- because if it was, regulations would probably require the least-potent weed imaginable, and it would be taxed to the hilt -- only he's too fucking stoned to think that one through. After all, if the Fed'ral Gubmint can mandate beer with less alcohol in it than you would use to sterilize a paper cut, it can surely mandate weak Ganja as being the only sort suitable for public consumption. He went because he's fucking stoned, and doesn't know any better.
It is my opinion that if you protest against something that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like the G20, which is a complete farce -- there's more than likely something wrong with you. If you attend a protest that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like, the G20 -- and you burn police cars and riot in the streets, then you deserve a fucking face full of fucking pepper-spray, and you should stop crying about having gotten it. Actions have consequences, you know.
Toronto Police Department. Why? Because thousands of young Canadians made the hazardous voyage into downtown Toronto. (it is hazardous...I've been there) to make complete asses of themselves in order to put themselves in a position from whence to get pepper-sprayed. It's the very least the police department can do after their officers have been attacked, their cruisers set ablaze, and thousands of hemp-heads and faux-Anarchists are roaming the streets burning, looting and vandalizing everything in sight in the name of "World Peace", and stupid notions of fundamental justice.
And Ms. Blais is one of the exceedingly lucky ones, in the sense that the Toronto Police Department (or is it Ontario Provincial Police? I always forget) pretty much took the day off to let the protesters do their thing. Why, I'll bet that 99% of those protesters weren't pepper-sprayed at all. You should be proud, Ms. Blais, that the Police found you objectionable enough, what with all the rioting going on, to take the time from their overtime-pay coffee break to make the effort to do their jobs and squirt you right in the fucking kisser, Missy. Why, you were either a very easy target (I gather you were seated during your personal protest?) meaning that you made it easy, or you just really pissed them off.
On the bright side, you could just be happy that you'll now actually have a story to write for your "Journalism" class.
Everytime there's a G20 meeting, or some other political get-together where the World's Elite gather to figure out how to fuck up the planet even more, you will find protesters. Most of them are well-meaning people who actually believe that if 20,000 like-minded people get together with really spiffy signs, and clever four-words-or-less slogans (it's best if it all rhymes, they say), that the Chinese or Russian delegations might actually listen to anything you have to say. People like Barack Obama or Angela Merkel pretend to listen to you, because the Western style of politics demands that important personages at least appear to be "Men of the People", even if they really have no actual connection with the Huddled Masses, and barely think of them of actual human beings rather than as voting blocs, a source of tax money, or photo-ops.
I can promise you that even if you brought 100,000 people with signs, the Chinese will still bind women's feet, and stifle any nascent political dissent in their country with tanks and Secret police. I can almost guarantee that genocide will continue in Sudan or Rwanda, because the people there are fucking savages who can't read your signs, and who don't have televisions with which to actually see your protest, and discern your good intentions.
As far as "getting a message through to X", a protest march is all-well-and-fine, even if typically futile. It's your right, and I don't object to people trying to get their message out. However, it's usually the legions of douchebags who glom onto the well-meaning protesters' protest which often throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing. These New Age Anarchists, the Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside), the new breed of Anti-Semites, the Older-and-Surgically-Preserved Breed of Radical Feminists, The Militant Queers, the Tinfoil Hats, and the Plain Stupid, join in these protests for a variety of reasons that usually don't have anything to do with the doings of the actual "Summit". They just show up for the Media Attention. There may have been a few tens of thousands in the streets, but most of them were probably of the "Civil Rights for Three-legged Blind Gerbils" type who more-or-less belong to entirely fringe-of-the-fringe-within-a-fringe "movements" which deal with an extremely narrow -- and often ridiculous -- issue. Those are the ones who show up on the odd chance that their sign might get 5 seconds of airtime on the nightly news, because almost any large gathering of people draws cameras, and they need to find or give moral support to the other seven people in Canada who believe in The Cause...whatever it may happen to be.
It's the smattering of assholes in there who showed up specifically to start trouble that are the problem. And those are the ones who most likely got Ms.Blais pepper-sprayed, assuming she just happened to find that grassy median a convenient place to take sit-down after a heavy afternoon's shopping, and had nothing to do with the protest at all.
Most "Anarchists" are really middle-class kids. Very well-off-upper-middle-class kids, who are a) stupid, and b) bored. Mostly they're college students who live in a world of abstracts idly tossed about by aging hippies who have even less experience of reality. Most have probably never done an honest day's work in their lives -- because Mom and Dad have provided everything -- who are drawn to the "romance" of play-acting as the Disaffected Political Streetfighter. They rail against the excesses of Capitalism (despite the fact that it's what allows them to live very comfortably; most would probably die of starvation within 15 minutes, if left to their own devices and lack of real survival skills, or ability to get e-mail), screaming their heads off about the plight of the "poor" in the "Third World". They do this dressed in their "Radical Chic" uniform of black Urban Guerillaware -- complete with the de rigeur Che Guevara t-shirt and red bandanna -- that costs a shitload of real money (after all, it's high fashion for a select clientele), probably produced in a sweatshop by some 11 year-old Nicaraguan making 3 cents a week. If she's lucky.
They rail against the "greed" of the "Evil Corporation", and yet, they take full advantage of the Evil Corporation's products; They drive or take public transport to the protest. They've organized themselves on Facebook, they use cell phones to communicate with one another and take pictures of one another like the riot was some once-in-a-lifetime event that needs to be recorded for posterity. Or, they might use Twitter to spread disinformation during the riot to make the Police look bad. They're certainly glad for the hospitals they'll need after the cops crack their skulls. Some even sport gas masks -- brought by the Gas Mask fairy, no doubt. They'll all gather at the local Starbucks, or McDonald's, three hours before their planned attack for an Egg McMuffin and a couple of double-caramel mocchiatas -- because breakfast IS The Most Important Meal of the Day. Don't worry; they'll be back to throw chunks of concrete through the store windows a few hours later.
When they're arrested, I'll bet at least half of those...ahem...tough, committed Soldiers of the People cry like bitches, and the other half huddle together in the corner of the common cell for fear of being gang raped by the "downtrodden" people they took to the streets on behalf of. No worries, though: Mom and Dad will come through with the bail money. They always do, because leaving Junior in jail overnight might damage his self-esteem.
I've had experience with three protests in my life, and when I say that, I mean a protest in which some aspect of my life was changed;
The first was sometime back in the early-90's when my then-girlfriend went to a NARAL march in Washington, D.C. I picked her up at the bus station after she had returned to Manhattan. She was exceedingly proud of herself for having attended the march and having stood up for Women's Rights. She was so exuberant that she wouldn't shut the fuck up about it, and I got tired of saying nothing but "well good for you", and not getting a word in edgewise, for near on 20 minutes. Her attempts to get me to validate her good feelings were painfully annoying; (if the conversation had been written down, she would have been finishing every paragraph with "Don't you think I've done a great thing?".With each new pronouncement of pride, my ears got just a teensy bit wearier. I asked her if she wouldn't mind talking about something else.
Needless to say, that relationship did not last much longer, for I had killed her Self-Esteem buzz.
The Second Experience was with an Earth Day celebration, with another ex-girlfriend. I didn't want to go, but I did want to get laid, so I got with The Program. The Program involved travelling to Central Park with her Hippie Girlfriend, and the Hippie Girlfriend's Pothead-25-years-older-than-she Boyfriend. So, the four of us hopped into Pothead's car for the half-mile voyage to Central Park -- a 1980's model Chevy Suburban that trailed enough oil smoke behind it for a battalion of Marines to maneuver behind, and adorned with this little gem of Eco-wisdom; A "Split Wood - Not Atoms" bumper sticker. Once we arrived at the Earth Day "Celebration" Hippie Girl and Cradle-Robbing-Pothead-Douchebag began their "work"...distributing the 5,000 printed fliers their "Green Workshop" had prepared to inform the citizens of Sodom-on-the-Hudson about the evil people destroying the Rain Forests so that the selfish bastards might have someplace to grow food.
I think all 5,000 of those fliers wound up on the ground in the Sheep Meadow and the Ramble. And that relationship, alas, also did not last much longer. Note to all my readers; if you date an Ecochick, don't buy her Coach leather when her birthday arrives a week later, because it means you learned nothing at the rally -- and it only makes it worse if you say "who really gives a fuck about Earth Day, anyway?"
The final encounter was a "Legalize Pot" rally on Boston Common. I wasn't there of my own accord -- I just happened to have accidentally found the damned thing while I was sightseeing. If there is anything more stunning than the sight of the Boston P.D. standing idly by while 5 or 6-thousand lit up in a futile group attempt to Give the Entire City a Contact High (their stated goal, I gathered, an amazing amount of ambition shown by slackers, I must say), it was watching a goodly number of them lay down, or simply pass out, when they themselves got too stoned to continue standing within the massive cloud of smoke generated during the attempt. Once they were conveniently horizontal, the cops just scooped them up at their leisure.
What does any of this have to do with the Toronto Riot?
I've come to the conclusion that many people who attend most "rallies" and "protests" are the dumbest forms of life yet discovered. Most are there for some reason other than the one stated, and usually are too stupid to see that what they protested against yesterday, they've invalidated by their actions today (rail against Big Oil, fill up your gas tank). Instead, I think many go for psychological reasons; the kid who vandalizes McDonald's isn't really concerned by the plight of the Third World as much as he is guilty for all the wonderful shit he's been given -- or he's just a fucking loser trying to strike back at the world that has marginalized him. The Woman who marches with NARAL doesn't go because she actually believes Feminist garbage -- she went because her circle of girlfriends would have ostracized her if she didn't. The Pothead doesn't really want pot legalized -- because if it was, regulations would probably require the least-potent weed imaginable, and it would be taxed to the hilt -- only he's too fucking stoned to think that one through. After all, if the Fed'ral Gubmint can mandate beer with less alcohol in it than you would use to sterilize a paper cut, it can surely mandate weak Ganja as being the only sort suitable for public consumption. He went because he's fucking stoned, and doesn't know any better.
It is my opinion that if you protest against something that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like the G20, which is a complete farce -- there's more than likely something wrong with you. If you attend a protest that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like, the G20 -- and you burn police cars and riot in the streets, then you deserve a fucking face full of fucking pepper-spray, and you should stop crying about having gotten it. Actions have consequences, you know.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Official: Pot Now Cheaper Than Tobacco...
Only in New York will a pack of smokes set you back a whopping $12.00!
I've said for the longest time that the reason behind the increasing taxes on cigarettes was to make every New Yorker want to turn to drugs so that our elected douchebags can continue to pick our pockets, only by then none of us will notice.
It's the same song every year: the cost of healthcare is breaking the bank. The State needs more money, or the hospitals will all close, and we'll all die of ingrown hemorrhoids or something. Smokers, because they engage in a habit that leads to serious health problems that tends to require expensive courses of treatments, should be expected to shoulder this burden, because it's because of THEM that the State has to spend these outrageous sums.
Umm, no.
The reasons why New York State has to devote so much money to pay for healthcare, are;
a) it's paying for the care for those who don't pay for it themselves, like the welfare queens, illegal immigrants, the"poor" (who all seem to have Bluetooth and Patent-leather Air Jordans, while I don't; "The Poor are the Rich That Jesus Warned You About" -- Kathy Shaidle),
b) is paying for the care of people who engage in even riskier behavior, which require even more expensive treatments, but who are also politically-protected (or cossetted) classes, especially AIDS victims, blacks, IV Drug users, and crack addicts,
c) The asswipes in Albany have never heard, apparently, of an effective cost-containment strategy known as "tightening one's belt" or "economizing", or even -- dare I say it? -- privatization,
d) The State government continues to mandate payments for conditions and procedures that have nothing to do with people's basic healthcare needs (like...ahem..."Family Planning", sex-change procedures, needle exchange programs).
e) The State mandates that insurance companies also pay for these non-basic healthcare requirements, and then add a laundry list of even more ridiculous procedures and treatments (like penile implants and vasectomies),
f) The State allows illegal immigrants to use our emergency rooms for every need from a case of the sniffles to multiple gunshot wounds without even making an attempt to 1) collect a dime from these people, and 2) deport their fucking asses after they've been treated,
g) The Fed'ral Gubmint mandates coverages and treatments, and then leaves the responsibility of paying for them to the States,
h) We have a bunch of pig-ignorant political ticket-punchers in both Albany and Washington, D.C.. For some of them, ticket-puncher might actually describe more work than they actually do,
i) The healthcare unions in this state goon strike every fifteen minutes, until the guy who wheels you to-and-from the hospital door gets paid six-figures and has nine weeks of paid vacation, can retire at 59-1/2 with a fat pension, and can't get fired short of committing multiple child rape, and the dismemberment-murder of a miniature poodle in front of 12 witnesses and a video camera,
j) The Lawyers treat the medical malpractice system like a personal feeding trough where it's somehow a doctor's fault if your child was born with Cerebral Palsy, harelip or Forked tongue, prehensile tail and other GENETIC defects, and you can sue his ass into another galaxy for it.
k) Medical science is making it possible for people to live longer (or is it really just linger longer?) with health issues that once would have killed them off relatively young. Many of these people are elderly, and rely heavily on city health services to supplement what State and Federal Medicare won't cover or provide.
Okay, I can see the point of encouraging people not to smoke by making it prohibitively expensive. But then what happens when enough smokers actually quit because of the high price? Why, then the expected tax revenue which justified the tax increase in the first place just might dry up faster than Hillary Clinton's teat at a Sahara Desert Shamwow convention! And then, of course, the "solution" will be to raise cig taxes again, naturally! The concept that smokers tend to die younger (thus consuming fewer healthcare resources!) is never even seriously entertained. Cutting the fat from the system is a laughable suggestion. Saying "No" to the unions, the lawyers, the deadbeats and the druggies gets you a queer look, as if you've just landed from Mars and have asked for a Sarsaparilla and a blowjob.
Soon, some clueless douchebag of a City Councilman will wonder where the hell the smokers all went, while lamenting the closure of yet another city-run hospital, the predictable result of the very policies he's advocated for years! New York politicians are dumber and denser -- and less in-touch with reality --than the national norm, you know.
But then again, this is New York City/State, and if someone suggested to the Mayor, Governor and Assembly Speaker there was a buck to be made by recycling the undigested corn in your stool, they'd find a way to tax you per cob. Those Regal personages can't be expected to engage in common-sense solutions to these problems -- or even make tough decisions on them -- because they're too busy addressing the really vital issues of the day: making sure you don't get too much sugar in your doughnut, too much salt in your street meat -- or have too much cash in your wallet.
Or something similarly Earth-shatteringly important, like this.
I say that instead of lighting up a Marlboro, perhaps it's high time to light up the statehouse in Albany, and Gracie Mansion. Of course, even saying that here facetiously will probably earn me a visit from the NYPD. Judging from the whopping 1-hour-and-16-minutes it took them to respond to a a two-car accident in front of my house two days ago --- when the Precinct House is but a mere 11blocks away -- I can probably expect the SWAT team to arrive on-or-about Columbus Day.
I expect that within a month's time, we'll be hearing that the "Loosey" will become the new underground currency of choice-- replacing the overinflated, Chinese-financed, ObamaDollar Monopoly money we use now -- and enterprising drug dealers will soon be dealing in Lucky Strikes instead of heroin because of the higher profit margin.
Dipshits, all.
I've said for the longest time that the reason behind the increasing taxes on cigarettes was to make every New Yorker want to turn to drugs so that our elected douchebags can continue to pick our pockets, only by then none of us will notice.
It's the same song every year: the cost of healthcare is breaking the bank. The State needs more money, or the hospitals will all close, and we'll all die of ingrown hemorrhoids or something. Smokers, because they engage in a habit that leads to serious health problems that tends to require expensive courses of treatments, should be expected to shoulder this burden, because it's because of THEM that the State has to spend these outrageous sums.
Umm, no.
The reasons why New York State has to devote so much money to pay for healthcare, are;
a) it's paying for the care for those who don't pay for it themselves, like the welfare queens, illegal immigrants, the"poor" (who all seem to have Bluetooth and Patent-leather Air Jordans, while I don't; "The Poor are the Rich That Jesus Warned You About" -- Kathy Shaidle),
b) is paying for the care of people who engage in even riskier behavior, which require even more expensive treatments, but who are also politically-protected (or cossetted) classes, especially AIDS victims, blacks, IV Drug users, and crack addicts,
c) The asswipes in Albany have never heard, apparently, of an effective cost-containment strategy known as "tightening one's belt" or "economizing", or even -- dare I say it? -- privatization,
d) The State government continues to mandate payments for conditions and procedures that have nothing to do with people's basic healthcare needs (like...ahem..."Family Planning", sex-change procedures, needle exchange programs).
e) The State mandates that insurance companies also pay for these non-basic healthcare requirements, and then add a laundry list of even more ridiculous procedures and treatments (like penile implants and vasectomies),
f) The State allows illegal immigrants to use our emergency rooms for every need from a case of the sniffles to multiple gunshot wounds without even making an attempt to 1) collect a dime from these people, and 2) deport their fucking asses after they've been treated,
g) The Fed'ral Gubmint mandates coverages and treatments, and then leaves the responsibility of paying for them to the States,
h) We have a bunch of pig-ignorant political ticket-punchers in both Albany and Washington, D.C.. For some of them, ticket-puncher might actually describe more work than they actually do,
i) The healthcare unions in this state goon strike every fifteen minutes, until the guy who wheels you to-and-from the hospital door gets paid six-figures and has nine weeks of paid vacation, can retire at 59-1/2 with a fat pension, and can't get fired short of committing multiple child rape, and the dismemberment-murder of a miniature poodle in front of 12 witnesses and a video camera,
j) The Lawyers treat the medical malpractice system like a personal feeding trough where it's somehow a doctor's fault if your child was born with Cerebral Palsy, harelip or Forked tongue, prehensile tail and other GENETIC defects, and you can sue his ass into another galaxy for it.
k) Medical science is making it possible for people to live longer (or is it really just linger longer?) with health issues that once would have killed them off relatively young. Many of these people are elderly, and rely heavily on city health services to supplement what State and Federal Medicare won't cover or provide.
Okay, I can see the point of encouraging people not to smoke by making it prohibitively expensive. But then what happens when enough smokers actually quit because of the high price? Why, then the expected tax revenue which justified the tax increase in the first place just might dry up faster than Hillary Clinton's teat at a Sahara Desert Shamwow convention! And then, of course, the "solution" will be to raise cig taxes again, naturally! The concept that smokers tend to die younger (thus consuming fewer healthcare resources!) is never even seriously entertained. Cutting the fat from the system is a laughable suggestion. Saying "No" to the unions, the lawyers, the deadbeats and the druggies gets you a queer look, as if you've just landed from Mars and have asked for a Sarsaparilla and a blowjob.
Soon, some clueless douchebag of a City Councilman will wonder where the hell the smokers all went, while lamenting the closure of yet another city-run hospital, the predictable result of the very policies he's advocated for years! New York politicians are dumber and denser -- and less in-touch with reality --than the national norm, you know.
But then again, this is New York City/State, and if someone suggested to the Mayor, Governor and Assembly Speaker there was a buck to be made by recycling the undigested corn in your stool, they'd find a way to tax you per cob. Those Regal personages can't be expected to engage in common-sense solutions to these problems -- or even make tough decisions on them -- because they're too busy addressing the really vital issues of the day: making sure you don't get too much sugar in your doughnut, too much salt in your street meat -- or have too much cash in your wallet.
Or something similarly Earth-shatteringly important, like this.
I say that instead of lighting up a Marlboro, perhaps it's high time to light up the statehouse in Albany, and Gracie Mansion. Of course, even saying that here facetiously will probably earn me a visit from the NYPD. Judging from the whopping 1-hour-and-16-minutes it took them to respond to a a two-car accident in front of my house two days ago --- when the Precinct House is but a mere 11blocks away -- I can probably expect the SWAT team to arrive on-or-about Columbus Day.
I expect that within a month's time, we'll be hearing that the "Loosey" will become the new underground currency of choice-- replacing the overinflated, Chinese-financed, ObamaDollar Monopoly money we use now -- and enterprising drug dealers will soon be dealing in Lucky Strikes instead of heroin because of the higher profit margin.
Dipshits, all.
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