Of Bicycles and Horny Moose...

Two totally unrelated stories that I will quickly...ummm...relate...for you by the time this is finished.

Really, I promise!

The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.

Because No One Offered Them Money and Drugs, That's Why...

Washington Times asks: Why no protesters at the RNC this week.

The money quote on how "organizers" are having trouble recruiting protesters for this week's DNC:

“The issue is important because minorities, the homeless, unemployed and others can lend credibility to protest groups sometimes led by college students and people with middle-class backgrounds.” 

And there you go. That, in a nutshell, describes most of this left-wing organizing bullshit. It's all you ever needed to know about Occupy _________ and all the rest of them. It's white Libtards going through the motions to gain "credibility" within their peer group...or maybe some extra credit in Professor Douchebag's Sociology class.

Some probably do it just to pad their resumes. It looks bad when all you can put there is "University of _______, 2004-2012, BS Anonymous, Inebriated Group Sex, AS Holistic Skateboarding and Hackysack".

BTW, someone needs a grammar checker at the Washington Times: ”...only three protesters have been made arrested?” Who wrote and edited that? A Haitian Immigrant? A Columbia J-school graduate?

Youth Is Wasted Upon The Young...

That little gem was uttered, I believe by Mark Twain, an American original. It is a truism that youngsters have no idea of what they have -- in fact, it's almost an indictment that youngsters have no idea...whatsoever. It was once axiomatic in my former field of work in the business world, that the best idea anyone under the age of 25 ever heard was usually also the last idea they ever heard. There is a tendency for those who are very young to simply parrot what they've been told, or to make great leaps to illogical conclusions based on faulty and unexplored premises.

Which is fine: people have to make mistakes, or else they'll never learn anything, and youth is the time to make them.

And then I was reminded of another pearl of wisdom regarding the stupidity of youth, this one uttered by Winston Churchill, a veritable dynamo of intellect, who said, vis-a-vis. the numbskull factor of the young and their politics:

“A man under the age of 30 who is not a liberal has no heart…a man over the age of 30 who is not a conservative, has no brain…”

Now, If They Had a Work Ethic...

Nice article about the Cleveland Five on Taki this morning.

The Cleveland Five are exactly the sort of dumb-as-a-sack-of-horseshit, lazy, slacker, stoner, psycho drug- taking dipshits you might think they were. But before they became urban OWS jihadists, it seems that every last one was little more than a juvenile delinquent.

However, it seems that their "juvenile" stage hasn't quite ended, has it?

Seven Reasons Why Barack Obama Will Be Remembered As The Worst President Ever....

Pity Barack Obama. No, seriously...you should.

It can't be easy to be the President of the United States, particularly at this point in history: there is economic turmoil; the country is embroiled in three wars; political will in this country is divided and misdirected; you're married to that walking menstrual cycle.

If there's anything that our Commander-in-Chump is probably thankful for, it has to be an electorate that's too stupid to realize either it's true priorities or the depths of it's own stupidity. That is, after all, how he got elected in the first place.

You're Not Special; You're Just Crazy...

Andrea Peyser in the New York Post on Self-mutilation as the ultimate attention getter.

You know you're in trouble when the GLAAD people, in so many backhanded-and-catty words, call you 'fat' and 'insane'.

I don't know Chaz Bono, and don't really care to, so I'm going to make some generalized observations about his/her case. I'm also not a psychiatrist -- I only play one on the Internet, and psychiatry is mostly bullshit, anyway -- so the only way to try to explain this is by applying logic, which already puts me on shaky ground before I even begin.

1. Chaz Bono grew up with famous parents, who were Hippies, and so they were certain to have raised HeShe with some rather strange ideas, most of which probably involved indulging any stupidity Chaz wanted or got involved with. This, you know, builds 'self-esteem', which was all the rage with parents of the time (it was a codeword for 'whatever the kid wants, the kid gets, if it means I'm 'a cool Mom/Dad' -- and keeps the little bastard out of my hair) and which, as a concept, has expanded to become a fucking pox upon Modern Society. We're knee deep in everyones Self-Esteem, but it never seems to occur to anyone who cries about not having any that it's usually earned through achievement, and not granted as a right because you sat through the 30 minute 3rd-grade-level-lecture-and-certificate-ritual at a public school.

Having famous parents, I would imagine, is no picnic. Everyone wants their attention and caters to them, so I wonder if at some point, Chaz felt less like a child, or even a human being, and more like an accessory.

2. Over-indulged children who have retarded/disinterested parents who 'encourage' them to pursue rank stupidity for fear of criticizing or disciplining the little buggers (and thus crushing their fragile self-esteem) become spoiled adults who expect to receive similar treatment from everyone they meet in their adult lives. Because the parents didn't set any boundaries, didn't cater to the child's feelings, and imposed no values upon their little genetic mess, the little bastard soon

a. figures out that it can do whatever the fuck it pleases, and

b. quickly becomes bored with the usual litany of childhood stupidity, and thus, must seek ever more exotic and complicated stupidity as it grows older. The more dramatic and complicated the stupidity, the greater the attraction.

3. Over-indulged children, bereft of values, boundaries, and interested/attentive  parents, soon find their way into trouble as a means of getting attention. Often negative attention, because the worse the activity the greater the response from the uninvolved parents. It's all about provoking a response...any response. At heart, all people who fall into this category of insanity are always seeking both the approval and the guidance of, or more accurately a rescue effort by, Mommy and Daddy Dearest.

4. The mollycoddled-yet-still-clamoring-for-parental-attention child soon runs the gamut of anti-social behavior in it's teenaged years, usually starting with smoking, and then progressing to promiscuity, defiance, rebellion, casual use of foul language, a Gothic/Punk stage, body-piercings, perhaps vandalism and petty crime, tattoos, drug and alcohol abuse, and perhaps even several (unserious) suicide attempts, and usually a mixture of All of the Above.. When this fails to bring the attention they truly crave (which is for their parents to start acting like fucking parents and provide some guidance), the activity must become ever more severe, and an even-greater rejection of traditional values which is intended to shock the sensibilities; homosexuality, sexual fetishes, cross-dressing, perhaps a string of abusive relationships (either as bully or victim), and finally, the ultimate shocker: Surgically-aided Self-mutilation with that added bonus of the rejection/warping of traditional gender norms.

Chaz Bono is simply someone who has been crying out for her parents HisHer entire life, probably, and never got the response HeShe desperately craved, and maybe never ever gave voice to. After all, she was most likely handed everything in life, and expected her parents to mystically divine what was in her head; it's how this Game Gets Played, you know. Had Chaz ever come right out and say what HeShe had wanted, and expected, from It's parents, it would have either stopped the gravy-train of over-indulgence dead in it's tracks, or it would have fallen upon deaf ears. HeShe has now entered the Penultimate phase in the attempt to get some attention. Even negative attention. The very last step is a massive overdose and/or a nosedive out a 50th floor window, with a shotgun wound to the head, just for good measure.

And then the Media, because it too, is a collection of mentally-deranged morons, will lead the Nation in the obligatory contrived orgy of manufactured and insincere grief for what amounts to a non-entity who's never accomplished a thing in HisHer life. Three days later, because the public's attention span is shorter than a dwarf at a urinal, we will forget the entire thing. Why does anyone really care, when even HisHer parents didn't, after all? Besides, the new season of Jersey Shore begins tonight.

Until Cher -- predictably -- uses the tragedy to re-launch her career, of course.

I don't pity Chaz Bono and I don't find HimHer even slightly interesting in the least. I regard this sick lump of humanity in the same way one might regard an enema; an unpleasant experience you hope ends rather quickly, with as little stench left behind as possible. I'd rather watch my fingernails grow, or count the blades of grass on my front lawn than to watch It on television. I'm not fascinated by Chaz's orgy of extreme Look-at-Me-ism, and resent the idea that some idiot in television believes that I might be. The one thing I certainly never want to hear is the constant whining of someone who mutilates their body, rejects all the standards of contemporary society, and engages in behavior that is disturbing. destructive and disgusting, cry about 'how hard it is to be Me..."

Especially when the Whiner is the scion of stupid-rich 'entertainers' and ersatz 'cultural icons' of questionable talent, taste, and intelligence, given every advantage in life, and who will, naturally, expect to be held up as some sort of role model by people even dumber than they are.

Before I get the usual round of accusations of being a 'homophobe' and a 'hater, I don't hate people for 'being gay'; I hate people for being stupid and selfish. I've known quite a number of gay people in my lifetime and they all seem to possess the same, often-distasteful, qualities: an insatiable thirst for constant attention and reassurance, and a mistaken belief that 'no one understands me.' You weren't 'born this way', and you're not expressing a 'preference', nor making a 'lifestyle choice'; you're basically telling the rest of us that since we don't recognize your self-professed Greatness that you will shit all over our cherished beliefs and sensibilities as a means of revenge....and getting attention. So fuck off with your nasty e-mails. I've heard it all already.

Biology For Dummies...

Lots of tree-hugging hippies out there like to write nasty -- and they'd like to think anonymous, but not really George P. in Terre Haute, or Alyssa V. in Schenectedy -- e-mails, and a few with more braincells than usual like trying -- and failing -- to hack other people's computers and e-mail accounts, too. You know who you are, and if you don't knock it off, I'm going to make a special effort to pay you a visit and MAKE YOU STOP...permanently. I can promise you that ObamaCare won't support you in a vegetative state for very long, so please, don't make me have to beat you.

I can handle nasty. Doesn't bother me at all. I just can't handle STUPID. Drives me insane.

This post brought some blowback (and really, people, can't you just use the reply function to make your stupid case? Oh, right; that has a 4,000 character limit, and unfortunately, you can't spout crap in under 5,000), most of it about the destructive effect of all that extra carbon dioxide that will kill us all.

Apparently, you don't need to know the basics of biology in order to be an environMENTAList. Nor do you need critical thinking skills. All that is required of you is that you simply believe, in much the same way the Muslim or the Catholic establishment doesn't really give a shit about what you think; they only care that you believe, and obey...and send money. This willing suspension of disbelief, to disregard evidence, logic, objective truth, or counter-argument is called "Faith". There's no thinking required. It's the major reason why so many sad-sacks join storefront churches, or strap explosives to themselves in the name of God; Faith is far easier than Truth or Reason, and certainly cheaper than a psychiatrist.

If you're a committed environut, you have to only believe four things (mostly because you're incapable of remembering more than four things) , not taking into consideration evidence to the contrary, nor accepting any argument or evidence whatsoever that would seem to knock the intellectual underpinnings out from beneath your beliefs. These four things are:

1. Carbon dioxide is a deadly poison.

2. Carbon dioxide levels are too high, and that Man has the ability to to do all of the following;

a. Calculate precisely how much CO2 there is in the atmosphere,

b. Calculate precisely how much CO2 is "just right" for the continuation of Life as We Know it, at optimum efficiency,

c. determine that if CO2 levels are too high, that it MUST be the result of Mankind doing things (i.e. going through the processes of what we like to call "living").

d. Discern just how elevated CO2 levels will affect the climate of the planet (as if there were only one world-wide climate!), with disastrous results, especially for people who are, in the best of times, slowly starving to death because they can't grow food, fucking themselves into starvation, killing each other in the name of religion, killing each other because they have nothing better to do, or dying of diseases that could be easily prevented if only they'd use soap, or stop fucking their livestock.

3. That Science is providing all the answers to the mysteries of a number of complex systems that we barely understand, and have barely begun to study in earnest.

4. That sans evidence that Man is actually doing catastrophic harm, it is your duty to insist that He is, and to make every effort to arrest progress that it's in your power to do. Usually, this means whine, bitch and moan until you get your way, like a four-year old.

Or write nasty, you-think-you're-anonymous e-mails. So, boys and girls, let me tell you about the Great Chain of Life, in eight (8) Easy Steps. Pay attention, because you just might learn something that might cause you to give up that lifestyle of pretentious affectation you're engaged in now.

1. There are untold trillions of a certain kind of organism on this planet which we call "Plants" and "Plant-like Organisms".

2. These Plant and Plant-like Organisms like to eat, and in fact, must do so to survive, just like you do, only without Che Guevara T-shits, American Idol, patchouli oil, marijuana, and bottled water.

3. Because they don't have access to Tofu, Doritos and Starbucks, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms have developed a wonderful system of making their own food, which we call Photosynthesis, in which they combine CARBON DIOXIDE with water, sunlight, and trace elements to produce complex carbohydrates (you know, like you get in your tastes-like-shit-but-is-supposedly-healthy-as-all-hell PowerBar?) and sugars. The Plants and Plant-like Creatures eat these sugars, and therefore, grow and thrive.

4. As a result of Photosynthesis, these Plants and Plant-like Organisms basically "shit" OXYGEN, a gas which is a requirement for life for water buffalo, mountain gorillas, polar bears, spotted owls, parrot fish, and dumbass Watermelons (Green on the outside, Red on the inside) who write stupid e-mails telling me I should die because I happen to disagree with them...an' stuff.

5. It is a known fact that when Plants and Plant-like Organisms have access to more CO2, they tend to grow faster and bigger, much like your average person if fed a steady diet of Chips Ahoy's, Ruffles, Pork chops, whipped-cream-out-of-the-can, ice cream and Pepsi would. More plants means more oxygen, and more food for cute little grazing animals like Bambi and Dumbo.

6. If one takes CO2 out of the atmosphere, then one deprives the Plants and Plant-like Organisms of their main source of food, thus killing them. And Bambi and Dumbo, too.

7. If one kills the Plants and Plant-like Organisms, one reduces the amount of Oxygen in the air, it means that those of us with the ability to find our own asses with both hands and a flashlight will have to kill and eat nosepicking environMENTALists in order to survive in an Oxygen-and-food-depleted environment.

8. Once the herd has been culled of the dumbass envirowhackos, we survivors will go back to putting CO2 back into the atmosphere, so that the Plants and Plant-like Organisms can eat and grow again, so that we can breathe, and so that the chickens, cattle, pigs, and fish -- assuming any of them survived both the loss of plants (their fucking food), and Oxygen -- will return, so that we may eat them instead of environMENTALISTs who aren't so tasty, are far from being Brain Food, and have less nutritional value than CheezWhiz.

So, you see, CO2 is not so much a poison as it is a RESOURCE NECESSARY FOR THE CONTINUATION OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET, YOU DUMB-AS-DOGSHIT ASSHOLE!

Also, I get a kick out of people who:

1. Tell me I should save the world by killing myself, but who apparently won't follow their own advice. Avoiding the "looming environmental disaster headed our way" doesn't fill them with enough fear and despondency to take their own lives. No, no, no; it's all of us regular people who should sacrifice ourselves on the Greenie Meanies' behalf, the selfish cocksuckers. Ever notice how those of us who don't agree with them are "selfish" but those that who would demand your death for their own personal comfort and salvation mysteriously aren't?

2. Lecture me about the evils of industrialization, whilst using a computer made from petroleum products and mined metals, transmitting across the ether on cables made of the same, the whole endeavor powered by coal, oil or natural gas burning power plants, or nuclear plants which leave radioactive waste, the very same things these douchebags say is destroying the atmosphere, and without which, modern life would be impossible.

3. Can use the terms "Massive Global Warming Catastrophe" and "Unprecedented Global Ice Age" in the same sentence and not notice the inherent contradictions, massive stupidity, or delicious irony, contained within?

4. If Darwin (your other Icon) was right, then whatever survives the no-plants-no-oxygen conditions of a global catastrophe will evolve so that they can. It's called Adaptation. They just probably won't be going to college and majoring in Keg Party, Gender Studies and Repeating the Stupid Shit My Professor Says.

If you can process all of this, Children, then maybe you'll begin to discover why it's so difficult to take you seriously.

How Liberals Argue...

A pretty funny video.

(H/T FiveFeetofFury)

"Why Are You Doing This?"

That was the question asked by Allison Blais, a 24-year-old "Journalism Student". You see, Ms. Blais, and a number of other people, had just been pepper-sprayed by the
Toronto Police Department. Why? Because thousands of young Canadians made the hazardous voyage into downtown Toronto. (it is hazardous...I've been there) to make complete asses of themselves in order to put themselves in a position from whence to get pepper-sprayed. It's the very least the police department can do after their officers have been attacked, their cruisers set ablaze, and thousands of hemp-heads and faux-Anarchists are roaming the streets burning, looting and vandalizing everything in sight in the name of "World Peace", and stupid notions of fundamental justice.

And Ms. Blais is one of the exceedingly lucky ones, in the sense that the Toronto Police Department (or is it Ontario Provincial Police? I always forget) pretty much took the day off to let the protesters do their thing. Why, I'll bet that 99% of those protesters weren't pepper-sprayed at all. You should be proud, Ms. Blais, that the Police found you objectionable enough, what with all the rioting going on, to take the time from their overtime-pay coffee break to make the effort to do their jobs and squirt you right in the fucking kisser, Missy. Why, you were either a very easy target (I gather you were seated during your personal protest?) meaning that you made it easy, or you just really pissed them off.

On the bright side, you could just be happy that you'll now actually have a story to write for your "Journalism" class.

Everytime there's a G20 meeting, or some other political get-together where the World's Elite gather to figure out how to fuck up the planet even more, you will find protesters. Most of them are well-meaning people who actually believe that if 20,000 like-minded people get together with really spiffy signs, and clever four-words-or-less slogans (it's best if it all rhymes, they say), that the Chinese or Russian delegations might actually listen to anything you have to say. People like Barack Obama or Angela Merkel pretend to listen to you, because the Western style of politics demands that important personages at least appear to be "Men of the People", even if they really have no actual connection with the Huddled Masses, and barely think of them of actual human beings rather than as voting blocs, a source of tax money, or photo-ops.

I can promise you that even if you brought 100,000 people with signs, the Chinese will still bind women's feet, and stifle any nascent political dissent in their country with tanks and Secret police. I can almost guarantee that genocide will continue in Sudan or Rwanda, because the people there are fucking savages who can't read your signs, and who don't have televisions with which to actually see your protest, and discern your good intentions.

As far as "getting a message through to X", a protest march is all-well-and-fine, even if typically futile. It's your right, and I don't object to people trying to get their message out. However, it's usually the legions of douchebags who glom onto the well-meaning protesters' protest which often throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing. These New Age Anarchists, the Watermelons (Green on the Outside, Red on the Inside), the new breed of Anti-Semites, the Older-and-Surgically-Preserved Breed of Radical Feminists, The Militant Queers, the Tinfoil Hats, and the Plain Stupid, join in these protests for a variety of reasons that usually don't have anything to do with the doings of the actual "Summit". They just show up for the Media Attention. There may have been a few tens of thousands in the streets, but most of them were probably of the "Civil Rights for Three-legged Blind Gerbils" type who more-or-less belong to entirely fringe-of-the-fringe-within-a-fringe "movements" which deal with an extremely narrow -- and often ridiculous -- issue. Those are the ones who show up on the odd chance that their sign might get 5 seconds of airtime on the nightly news, because almost any large gathering of people draws cameras, and they need to find or give moral support to the other seven people in Canada who believe in The Cause...whatever it may happen to be.

It's the smattering of assholes in there who showed up specifically to start trouble that are the problem. And those are the ones who most likely got Ms.Blais pepper-sprayed, assuming she just happened to find that grassy median a convenient place to take sit-down after a heavy afternoon's shopping, and had nothing to do with the protest at all.

Most "Anarchists" are really middle-class kids. Very well-off-upper-middle-class kids, who are a) stupid, and b) bored. Mostly they're college students who live in a world of abstracts idly tossed about by aging hippies who have even less experience of reality. Most have probably never done an honest day's work in their lives -- because Mom and Dad have provided everything -- who are drawn to the "romance" of play-acting as the Disaffected Political Streetfighter. They rail against the excesses of Capitalism (despite the fact that it's what allows them to live very comfortably; most would probably die of starvation within 15 minutes, if left to their own devices and lack of real survival skills, or ability to get e-mail), screaming their heads off about the plight of the "poor" in the "Third World". They do this dressed in their "Radical Chic" uniform of black Urban Guerillaware -- complete with the de rigeur Che Guevara t-shirt and red bandanna -- that costs a shitload of real money (after all, it's high fashion for a select clientele), probably produced in a sweatshop by some 11 year-old Nicaraguan making 3 cents a week. If she's lucky.

They rail against the "greed" of the "Evil Corporation", and yet, they take full advantage of the Evil Corporation's products; They drive or take public transport to the protest. They've organized themselves on Facebook, they use cell phones to communicate with one another and take pictures of one another like the riot was some once-in-a-lifetime event that needs to be recorded for posterity. Or, they might use Twitter to spread disinformation during the riot to make the Police look bad. They're certainly glad for the hospitals they'll need after the cops crack their skulls. Some even sport gas masks -- brought by the Gas Mask fairy, no doubt. They'll all gather at the local Starbucks, or McDonald's, three hours before their planned attack for an Egg McMuffin and a couple of double-caramel mocchiatas -- because breakfast IS The Most Important Meal of the Day. Don't worry; they'll be back to throw chunks of concrete through the store windows a few hours later.

When they're arrested, I'll bet at least half of those...ahem...tough, committed Soldiers of the People cry like bitches, and the other half huddle together in the corner of the common cell for fear of being gang raped by the "downtrodden" people they took to the streets on behalf of. No worries, though: Mom and Dad will come through with the bail money. They always do, because leaving Junior in jail overnight might damage his self-esteem.

I've had experience with three protests in my life, and when I say that, I mean a protest in which some aspect of my life was changed;

The first was sometime back in the early-90's when my then-girlfriend went to a NARAL march in Washington, D.C. I picked her up at the bus station after she had returned to Manhattan. She was exceedingly proud of herself for having attended the march and having stood up for Women's Rights. She was so exuberant that she wouldn't shut the fuck up about it, and I got tired of saying nothing but "well good for you", and not getting a word in edgewise, for near on 20 minutes. Her attempts to get me to validate her good feelings were painfully annoying; (if the conversation had been written down, she would have been finishing every paragraph with "Don't you think I've done a great thing?".With each new pronouncement of pride, my ears got just a teensy bit wearier. I asked her if she wouldn't mind talking about something else.

Needless to say, that relationship did not last much longer, for I had killed her Self-Esteem buzz.

The Second Experience was with an Earth Day celebration, with another ex-girlfriend. I didn't want to go, but I did want to get laid, so I got with The Program. The Program involved travelling to Central Park with her Hippie Girlfriend, and the Hippie Girlfriend's Pothead-25-years-older-than-she Boyfriend. So, the four of us hopped into Pothead's car for the half-mile voyage to Central Park -- a 1980's model Chevy Suburban that trailed enough oil smoke behind it for a battalion of Marines to maneuver behind, and adorned with this little gem of Eco-wisdom; A "Split Wood - Not Atoms" bumper sticker. Once we arrived at the Earth Day "Celebration" Hippie Girl and Cradle-Robbing-Pothead-Douchebag began their "work"...distributing the 5,000 printed fliers their "Green Workshop" had prepared to inform the citizens of Sodom-on-the-Hudson about the evil people destroying the Rain Forests so that the selfish bastards might have someplace to grow food.

I think all 5,000 of those fliers wound up on the ground in the Sheep Meadow and the Ramble. And that relationship, alas, also did not last much longer. Note to all my readers; if you date an Ecochick, don't buy her Coach leather when her birthday arrives a week later, because it means you learned nothing at the rally -- and it only makes it worse if you say "who really gives a fuck about Earth Day, anyway?"

The final encounter was a "Legalize Pot" rally on Boston Common. I wasn't there of my own accord -- I just happened to have accidentally found the damned thing while I was sightseeing. If there is anything more stunning than the sight of the Boston P.D. standing idly by while 5 or 6-thousand lit up in a futile group attempt to Give the Entire City a Contact High (their stated goal, I gathered, an amazing amount of ambition shown by slackers, I must say), it was watching a goodly number of them lay down, or simply pass out, when they themselves got too stoned to continue standing within the massive cloud of smoke generated during the attempt. Once they were conveniently horizontal, the cops just scooped them up at their leisure.

What does any of this have to do with the Toronto Riot?

I've come to the conclusion that many people who attend most "rallies" and "protests" are the dumbest forms of life yet discovered. Most are there for some reason other than the one stated, and usually are too stupid to see that what they protested against yesterday, they've invalidated by their actions today (rail against Big Oil, fill up your gas tank). Instead, I think many go for psychological reasons; the kid who vandalizes McDonald's isn't really concerned by the plight of the Third World as much as he is guilty for all the wonderful shit he's been given -- or he's just a fucking loser trying to strike back at the world that has marginalized him. The Woman who marches with NARAL doesn't go because she actually believes Feminist garbage -- she went because her circle of girlfriends would have ostracized her if she didn't. The Pothead doesn't really want pot legalized -- because if it was, regulations would probably require the least-potent weed imaginable, and it would be taxed to the hilt -- only he's too fucking stoned to think that one through. After all, if the Fed'ral Gubmint can mandate beer with less alcohol in it than you would use to sterilize a paper cut, it can surely mandate weak Ganja as being the only sort suitable for public consumption. He went because he's fucking stoned, and doesn't know any better.

It is my opinion that if you protest against something that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like the G20, which is a complete farce -- there's more than likely something wrong with you. If you attend a protest that is, ultimately, about nothing -- like, the G20 -- and you burn police cars and riot in the streets, then you deserve a fucking face full of fucking pepper-spray, and you should stop crying about having gotten it. Actions have consequences, you know.

An Open Letter to Israel...

Dear Israelis,

Not that my opinion carries any weight, nor do you need my permission, but I'm inclined to agree with you when it comes to the idea that ships entering Gaza need to be searched for contraband. Especially the sort of contraband that goes"BOOM!". After all, it's not as if your next-door neighbors are really nice people who invite you over for coffee and cake all the time, or who will lend you a lawn edger or a cup of sugar when you need one. That's not Ozzy and Harriet next door, the lovely elderly couple that sits on the back porch sipping lemonade, you know.

In fact, those neighbors of yours are downright scary. When they aren't threatening to shove you into the sea, telling anyone who'll listen that Hitler did a lousy job, and complaining ad nauseum about how Grandpa Abdullah lost his 50 acre rock farm because he believed that an army of Arabs could win a war against people who'll actually fight back, then they're lobbing explosives into your housing developments, blowing up public transport or making a trip to the local pizzeria a life-or-death crap-shoot.

I mean, let's face it; it's not as if these so-called Palestinians are rational people. After all, it's not as if they can even take "YES" for an answer. It took them fifty years just to accept the Two-State solution they could have had in 1948, and that's still not good enough. Just look at what they instill in their children, who grow up believing their ultimate goal in life should be a spectacular suicide that takes as many Jews and Infidels with them as they can manage. Let's face it, if there was a Palestinian YouTube, it'd be nothing but wall-to-wall "Martyrdom" videos.

You Israelis are under the gun. Literally. For all the noise these Palestinians make about not wanting anything to do with Jews (except maybe kill them), they then have the nerve to be insulted when you build a fence to keep you apart. They whine and complain and make noises about "Peace", and then find excuses to continue the conflict.

You know what I think about this latest incident, with the boat? I think Hamas is running out of money, and whenever it runs out of money, it creates some sort of incident. The Intifadas were all about money -- Arafat got rich, taking aid from the U.S., U.N., E.U., Saudis, Russians, and others. Was anyones life improved for all those billions? Hell no! But everyone had an AK-47 to fire in the air at Yasser's funeral, didn't they? Palestinians cry that they have no food, no medicine, no electricity or jobs, but somehow fail to notice that everyone is armed to the teeth--courtesy of the Great Satan and all his Little Satans. It's perverse.

So, I don't blame Israel when it decides to board ships as a matter of self-defense. They've found weapons delivered under the cover of "Humanitarian Aid" before. I don't blame Israelis when they build walls, and I certainly cannot find fault with you Jews for simply defending yourself against people who's basic negotiating position is "I must kill Jews because God said so...now give me money!"

In fact, I personally think you don't go far enough. No one is giving you any credit for the incredible restraint shown so far -- if it was me, there wouldn't be all this ruckus because there'd be no Palestinians -- so why not take it one step further? Why not just make it known that the next attack on Israel, the next boat that fails to halt for an inspection, the next unguided rocket, the next sniper, the next suicide bomber-- hell, even the next spitball or dirty look directed at an Israeli -- will result in the elimination of the "Palestinian State" altogether? I rather doubt anyone would notice it was gone, anyway.

Negotiation -- or even simple accommodation -- with Muslims is impossible. They aren't intelligent or rational enough to realize when something is in their best interests,if they even recognize their own interests at all. After all, they follow the words and exploits of a dead child molester who instructed them to walk around a big black rock in the middle of the desert and mutilate their women's vaginas. These are the people who believe that legitimate political discourse involves using airliners as weapons of mass destruction and the beheading the defenseless. These are people who have rules about which hand you can use to wipe your ass. People who submit to having even the most-intimate details of their lives directed in this way are incapable of being reasoned with.

Fuck 'em.

I know you won't take my advice, I mean, even my own government doesn't listen to me -- I begged GWB right here on this page to replace all human life in Iraq and Afghanistan with a genetically-engineered microorganism that eats sand and craps oil as a solution to the problem of Islamic Terrorism, but for some reason he found it necessary to deal with wastes of genetic material named Karzai and Maliki -- that's when he wasn't perpetuating the Big Lie of the Religion of Peace. My way would have saved billions of bucks, and thousands of lives, but there you go; I'm a solutions-oriented kinda guy.

However, if you did find it in your heart to follow my advice, I wouldn't be shocked. Nor would I stand outside the consulate here in New York, like many of the Aging Hippies and the dopey- college-kids-who-went-to-the-protest-in-order-to-get-extra-credit-so-that-they-won't-fail- Famous-Vaginas-in-American-Lit-102-and-get-hassled-by-Mommy-and-Daddy-who-pay-for-the-four-year-kegger.

In fact, I would applaud, because the only real solution to the problems of Islamic Terrorism and Middle East Peace is for one side in this conflict to be convinced that further violence in the name of a failed ideology, a deeply-irrational political system, and a phony religion will ensure that future generations will have even less -- and suffer even more. Unfortunately, the only way to convince these people that they're on the wrong path is to kill them in great numbers in the most terrible ways imaginable, because negotiation, appeasement, bribery, limited responses, diplomacy and embargo don't seem to be getting through to them.

Good Luck, and I hope you sink the next boatload of Commie-Pinko-Terrorist-Abetting douchebags that try another stunt like the one they pulled last week.

Yelling at Assholes Doesn't Really Work...

You know, when I started to put my mental vomit on a page years ago it was with the intention of having a place where I could basically scream at the top of my lungs. It was supposed to be a vehicle with which to express my innermost madness without hurting anyone (and by that, I mean by allowing me to vent without giving me the opportunity to punch someone in the mouth). It was supposed to be part therapy, part diary, part mental cesspool. In some ways. it's accomplished it's mission; any sane person reading this might actually be shocked by some of the stuff I've written here (yes, I DO think this way, and I'm fuckin' proud of it!), and it does, more or less, reflect a lot of the inner turmoil I've felt for the last decade.

Reading through past posts, I'm beginning to see patterns emerge; I can see when I was drunk and blogging. I can see when I was zonked on Xanax and blogging. I can see when I was in full panic mode and writing everything that entered my head in a scattershot manner, like the words were spewing from a firehouse that I couldn't control. You can see my "Life is Going to Shit" phase, and my "Hey, I'm Still Optimistic" period. Lately, I've noticed that my posts tend to not only be much more cynical than usual, but also convey a sense of intense bitterness and disappointment. And yes I'll admit it for those who haven't gotten it yet; I think everyone NOT named Me is a complete and utter Fucktard, so yeah, the tone has always been condescending and often vicious.

I can't help it; I'm surrounded by Assholes. If you were surrounded by Assholes -- Assholes who, in many cases, had the ability to affect major aspects of your life -- you'd be convinced that everyone on planet Earth was a Asshole Fucktard who was sent here specifically to disappoint you, annoy you, torment you and eventually, try your sanity. You'd be angry, too.

Well, I've finally come to the conclusion that no matter what I do, short of horrific acts of mass murder, I'm stuck with the Assholes. I've tried to reason with them, but it doesn't work. I've tried to ignore them and keep them at arm's length, but then they just manage to find other ways in which to torment me. It's like playing Asshole Whack-a-Mole; no sooner do I smack one down, than another appears in another location. Yelling at them certainly doesn't work. I think that, more than anything, was why I started this thing -- to yell at the Assholes, and to let them know they were Assholes. It hasn't been very effective.

I mean, the only thing worse than an Asshole who doesn't realize he's an Asshole, is an Asshole who doesn't listen to you when you try to tell him how big an Asshole he really is, or even worse, one who gets resentful when you finally DO manage to convince him of his colossal...umm....rectum-tude.

It doesn't matter how often or forcefully I scream from this platform, no change will ever come about. The Twenty-first Century now belongs to the Assholes. The combination of Government and Technology has made it possible for even the dumbest, slowest, laziest, dimmest Asshole in the United States to not only manage to survive, but to even prosper, without even having to try. They simply take up space. They somehow manage to breathe without mechanical assistance. They don't even require the same awareness you'd expect to find in the average amoeba. They can operate X-Boxes, iPods, and DTV's, but the overwhelming majority know nothing of Churchill, Paracelsus, Goethe, Ovid, Copernicus, or Herodotus. Most couldn't find their own asses with both hands and a road map, and yet they manage to decide the course of nations and history,

I wouldn't trust most people as having the intelligence not to stick hatpins in their own eyes without a great big red warning sticker on 'em. Yet, somehow, these are the people that everyone wants, in fact, NEEDS to exist; advertisers and governments spend billions to reach them. Politicians pander to them. The Pharmaceutical industry creates expensive, often toxic, drugs to treat their every ache, pain and minor discomfort. The Educational Establishment has dumbed down every curriculum for them. Political correctness infects every layer of society, depriving them of the ability to exercise judgement, or free speech, and in many cases, even robbing them of the ability to THINK at all. They are simply a population of protoplasm with legs; obsessed with their abs, the size of their Plasma tv's (more colors and detail available than your eyes can even see!) , their cars, sports, The Real Housewives and American Idol, the Lottery and Brangelina. It's a population that continues to believe in Global Warming while it's great Guru purchases beachfront property he insists will be underwater in a decade, it was desperate enough to swallow "Yes We Can".

It's a population so obsessed with the erection and incontinence that it turns what seems a quarter of it's broadcast day over to adverts for Little Blue Pills and adult diapers. That's when the time hasn't been devoted to the freshest douche, the best toilet cleaner or toilet paper, vaginal dryness, leaky bladders, constipation, and hemorrhoids. There's a direct correlation between the apparent obsessions of the Average American Asshole, and the truism that "Pissing, Shitting and Fucking all take place within Three Inches of One Another", only you can add "Thinking" to that list, as well, apparently. The Walking Protoplasm is obsessed with it's Nether Regions and what goes in, or comes out, of them. It's all mindless. It's no matter the world is like it is; look who it's been created for!

So, I'm not going to yell at them anymore. You might as well scream at an anthill for all the good it does. I will still continue to point out that this planet is infected by Assholes, and to point to the more obvious examples of Homo Assholus, but I shan't be yelling anymore. It simply doesn't work for lack of enough people with any brainpower.

Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed to Breed..

Via JammieWearingFool, we get the story of Baby Hitler.

There are some people who aren't cut out to be parents. They either don't have the proper morality, or the correct sense of responsibility. Or, maybe like this mother, they're just dingbats who happened to get pregnant and had nothing better to do.

One gets the idea from reading the article that this woman, a) takes herself way too seriously; she's an artiste, you know, and b) has absolutely no scruples about exploiting her child in order to advance her "art". For that reason alone, her child(ren) should be taken from her, and she should be horsewhipped in the public square. That's before we even get to the photographs she took (see the original article), all in obnoxiously bad taste.

Children should never be used as props for their parents' politics, idealism, stupidity or mental illness.

Baby Boomers Still Pot-Smoking Hippies...

No shit?

Ah, great. Now they'll be retired, collecting more money than they have a right to in Social Security, seeking free hip replacements and Viagra through Obamacare, voting to keep their super-sexually-active-unfettered-by-a-bum-prostate-or-osteoporosis-rock-climbing-mountain-biking-in-tight-spandex-old-age-lifestyle lavishly funded by the American taxpayer...and they'll be stoned, too.

Did any of these people ever grow the fuck up?

You know, I was watching Hannity tonight (which is hardly watchable without Alan Colmes to act as a foil and balance to Sean's repetition of the same three or four talking points a month routine, except that you get more S.E. Cupp and Noelle Nikpour...yum, yum!), and he had on two guys who are responsible for a film that was shown at CPAC, and which will hitting theatres in America next month, called "Generation Zero" which will show how the Baby Boomers basically fucked America completely up with their selfishness, stupidity and shortsightedness.

One gets the impression, if you spend enough time with the average Boomer, that they feel perfectly entitled to a) not accept a shred of responsibility for anything, and b) to be supported by their children and grandchildren, or the taxpayer, whichever they can scam first and preferably both, forever and ever. They also expect to live forever in perfect health, for free, even if it means you have to short-dick every cannibal on the Congo.

The average Boomer has absolutely zero concern or regard for anyone else.

Apropos of the movie Logan's Run; that's beginning to look like a very attractive and viable solution to the problem of the Me Generation.

I Told You So...

RedState no longer wishes to hear from the Birthers or 9/11 Truthers inside the Tea Party.

I told you so.

For those of you who gave me holy hell over my remarks on the subject of a lunatic fringe within the Tea Party these past two weeks; I seem to be vindicated. It's being noticed elsewhere. A pattern is beginning to establish itself and you can no longer hide, be you a lunatic of the Left or Right.

Those of you who filled my e-mail in-box with vicious, unadulterated bullshit -- with The New Testament appended -- can now either kiss my ass or go fuck yourselves. You've been outed. I still support the ideals of the Tea Party movement, but if they don't start weeding some of these mental cases out, it'll be a much tougher sell in the future.

Baby Boomers and Healthcare...

The current battle over Healthcare directly springs from Boomer selfishness; the Baby Boomers are, without a doubt, the most health-obsessed people in the history of mankind. They have brought us the jogging craze, the aerobics craze, the macrobiotic and organic diets, steroid abuse, vitamin abuse, herbal remedies, the healing power of crystals, holistic medicine, Yoga and Pilates. They believe they have the right to live forever.

They expect to live forever, perpetually young, and free of every minor complaint. You'll notice that all of the ultra-expensive-but-marginally-effective drug advertising these days is aimed specifically at Baby Boomers, and their lifestyle of convenience: once-a-month osteoporosis treatments (because they're too busy to devote 18 seconds a day to taking a pill with a glass of water), erectile dysfunction medications that swear you can get a boner on a schedule (because it pays to have that 36-hour zone of boner-on-a-moment's-notice piece of mind), miracle cures for leaky bladders, overgrown prostates, pattern baldness, vaginal dryness, graying and thinning hair, and made-up "diseases" like Chronic Dry Eye (take your fucking contacts out and wear glasses once in a while, you vain motherfucker!) and Restless Leg Syndrome (do they get up and walk away of their own volition? How about you get off your recliner and go take a walk?). All pushed by exquisitely-tanned-and-well-preserved-through-extensive-plastic-surgery Baby-Boomer actors, who seem to portray the ideal retirement life centered around recreating the 60's -- only with mountain bikes and spandex shorts-- where eternal youth is measured in orgasms,or merely the ability to fuck at all. And of course, they expect it all to come at someone else's expense.

Because being a Baby Boomer means never having to answer for anything, even taking care of your own health. They try to avoid the consequences of Old Age with the same fervor their parents devoted to fighting the scourge of Nazism. Consequences (from anything) are for other people, and in this case, so are the bills. Oh, and if they don't get what they want, why, they'll have nothing but medically-extended years to do nothing at all --- except vote....for people like Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry. People who think like they do, because they are the same people.

Not that the last crop of politicos was any better. George W. Bush's idea of "reforming" medicare was to add the "Prescription Drug Plan", a $1-trillion dollar waste, that was negotiated into existence by Boomers, will almost exclusively be abused by Boomers, and paid for by non-Boomers forever.

The battle over who gets this "healthcare" is typically framed in terms of Citizens-vs-Illegal Aliens, Unions-vs-Private Sector, Black-vs-White, and to a certain extent, all of that is true: the democratic party would like to give even yet more "free" shit to a new demographic (Hispanics) which will replace the old, disappearing demographics of blacks who haven't realized that the fight for Civil Rights was won 40 years ago, and Union Labor. However, the real battle lines are being drawn between those with pre-and-post 1965-birth dates.

Because it is the pre-1965 folks who will receive all the benefits, and all the post-19665 folks who will pay for it (I have chosen 1965 arbitrarily, but it seems as reasonable a starting point as any). That, above all else, is probably why that promise to see everything on C-Span has been broken; because if we saw what was truly going on, we would see a bunch of Baby Boomers conspiring to reserve the privilege taxpayer-funded of medical care all to themselves. Because they're the ones who will have to retire soon, in greater numbers than ever before seen in history, and do so with portfolios that have been destroyed by the economic collapses of recent years (collapses engineered by other Baby Boomers, naturally). All the major players in this drama, Pelosi, Reid, Landrieu, Nelson, Schumer, Bayh, Dorgan, Dodd, Frank, and even Martha Coakley (although she's too dumb to realize it) are all Baby Boomers themselves. There's not a person under 40 in that smoky, political backroom, I'll bet.

I was reminded of all this this morning because first thing, I turned on my television, and I was assaulted, again, by the image of half-a-dozen-aging-hippy-garage-banders singing a paean to the virtues of the erection, and the little pill that brought it to them, but which has 72 other side effects and restrictions which would probably kill a brontosaur under normal conditions.

It's only a short leap from paying for hip replacements and heart valves, to a demand that Government start paying for aphrodisiacs, breast and penile implants, maybe even labioplasty, for octogenarians, just so they can try all those new-fangled-and-totally-free parts out.

Oliver Stone: Douchebag...

Our Douchebag of the Week is Oliver Stone. Actually, Mr. Stone is one of the finalists in the Douchebag-of-the-Last-Five-Decades-Running competition, primarily on the strength of his abilities to mangle history and then make really bad movies out of it.

(Ed. Note: The Douchebag of the Week Award will now be a staple of this blog. Readers are encouraged to nominate those they believe fit the bill. Just drop a mail with your candidate's name and a link to the event, quote, action, etc, that made your candidate a good bet to win. I will select the winner, who will be announced every Monday morning.).

Stone announced this week that, having exhausted every hippie-centric view of the 1960's, he will now take a crack at the entire 20th Century, and to show you just how bad a historian Mr. Stone is and just what sort of mindset will be making this film, he has this to say about Adolf Hitler:

"...Talking to critics, Stone, a three-times Oscar winner, explained that Hitler had been “an easy scapegoat throughout history” and that his new series would put things into their proper context. “We can't judge people as only 'bad' or 'good'. [Hitler] is the product of a series of actions,” he noted. “It's cause and effect....”

Just what we need; a therapeutic and forgiving view of Hitler, full of moral relativism, and which is yet another refight of the battle between the "Nature vs. Nuture" branch of psychology. Hitler is not an evil man driven by his personal lunacy, he's a product of his times, yet one more victim of a topsy-turvy world.

When you stop to consider the damage Stone's "historical treatment" films have already done, and here I'm speaking of the hero-worshiping "JFK", and the over-the-top surrealism of "Apocalypse Now" -- with their soft-60's-platitudes and fawning-adorational speeches placed in the mouths of people who never spoke them, the liberties taken with both fact and evidence, the outright misrepresentation of the motivations of both sides of any argument -- I can only imagine what Stone will produce in 10-hours.

Mostly, it should be reminiscent of something you occasionally have to scrape off your shoes.

We'll probably find out that Stalin murdered millions because of an extremely painful ingrown toenail that an American trade embargo prevented from being properly treated. Mao loved to collect teddy bears and hold tea parties, but Eisenhower didn't send Mao a card on Valentine's Day. Pol Pot was a cross-dresser, who wanted nothing more than to star on Broadway, but LBJ and Richard Nixon conspired to keep him in dinner theatre in Phnom Penh. All of them were driven to the acts that sullied their good memories, and ran their good intentions right off the rails (after all, they were socialists and in Stone's world, the Socialists are the heroes. Flawed Heroes, to be certain, but always the Good Guys) by greedy, ignorant, jingoistic Westerners --particularly Americans, and hopefully, Conservatives (even if Stone has to take great pains and twist the truth to portray them as Conservative). None of the true villains is ever responsible.

Murder millions on an industrial scale, deliberately starve millions more, preside over a reign of terror that makes the French Revolution seem like the Elk's Club Annual Picnic, and Stone will find some excuse to let you off the hook. A new generation of Americans which doesn't read, and which doesn't study history, will again learn their lessons from Stone's Movies, and pretty soon, they'll find a reason to excuse Osama Bin Laden...oh wait, they've already done that.

There. I've just saved you 10 hours and $50 bucks. You can thank me later.

The Telegraph has more here.